Last time, the Open Thread mentioned how the dining experience has become more of a dining – trial. And you had plenty to say about it, especially as it regards….
…eating in “Siberia”…
One thing I don’t miss about dining out is how they look for THE furthest out-of-the-way table at which to seat me. Me, the woman in the wheelchair.
– Amy
…not to mention the NOISE!
I agree so much with you Virge! PLUS, the noise in restaurants (without counting their annoying “music” at sometimes painful decibels)… just doesn’t make it appetizing enough to looking forward to them.
-Adela
She’s got a great solution in the rest of her comments. For a few readers, the whole dining thing is definitely over…
It will be a long time, if ever, that I will eat inside a restaurant. Even when younger, if I went to a restaurant with another woman, they tried to seat us near a bussing station or kitchen door. The music was extremely loud and we had to scream across the table
-Pat
It is not just you, I concur 100%. The portions are definitely smaller, the prices higher, the service is sub-par and you can’t get the table you want because they don’t have the staff to accommodate!
-Debi
Why don’t you tell us how you really feel, Debi.
We’ll leave the last word to Barbara…
I have come to serious thinking when arrival at a restaurant host stand and they give me look-over well groomed stylish women that uses cane and grey hair. When they give me a table I don’t care to take I refuse and ask for the one I want to be seated at and have never been refused, and chuckle under my breath, the host knew that you can’t get away with nonsense, but let’s see if we can get away. Poor soul they will eventually earn. Don’t fool around with old timers you will not be a winner.
-Barbara
That’s not only aging with attitude – that’s dining with attitude!
We’ll leave the comments open for a while so feel free to add yours!
The original column is just below.
The last time I went to a restaurant in the Before Times (my term for Pre-pandemic life), I met my pal John G. at a Brit pub in my neighborhood.
We talked about how weird it was to see all the stats about the increasing number of COVID cases. Our table was this close to another one and we had to shout a bit to hear each other over the conversations at the other tables, the clatter of silverware and plates, and the sound system blasting “Music to Eat Your Food Quickly By.” (The speakers always seem to be right over my table.)
Then two years passed of eating at home. Quiet, peaceful, hear-yourself-think dining. I recently began dining out again and I realized…
…I’m out of practice.
Whining and Dining
Now I have to search for a table away from the speakers. And I don’t eat Sunday brunch at the usual time anymore…because while I like small kids, they don’t have a volume control.
And, of course, there’s the ‘let’s seat the older lady/ladies near the waitstand/kitchen” syndrome.
I also notice portions have gotten smaller but the price tag has gotten bigger to compensate. And, of course, there’s the ‘let’s seat the older lady/ladies near the wait stand/kitchen” syndrome.
I don’t know, maybe it’s me. Have I gotten too picky/persnickety about dining out – with all my pet peeves? How about you? Let us know in the comments!

Virge Randall is Senior Planet’s Managing Editor. She is also a freelance culture reporter who seeks out hidden gems and unsung (or undersung) treasures for Straus Newspapers; her blog “Don’t Get Me Started” puts a quirky new spin on Old School New York City. Send Open Thread suggestions to editor@seniorplanet.org.

COMMENTS
14 responses to “Open Thread Update: Whining and Dining”
You all must read “Garlic and Sapphires”, by Ruth Reichl, former NY Times restaurant critic. She experienced all the indignities suffered by a single woman in a restaurant, and wrote about them in an expose in The NY Times. She describes many hilarious and very insightful episodes. Several 4 Star restaurants in NY were embarrassed big time!
I don’t like the loud music either. I find that if I request the volume to be turned down I’m usually accomodated. If not I leave…..same with where I’m seated. I find that most any request, made politely, will be complied with. If not I make it clear that I will leave.
After two years of being stuck at home, eating my cooking, trying new recipes and learning how to live a healthy, meaningful live, I’m over joyed to get out amount people at restaurants. I love the sounds, the sight of foods that I was not able to prepare, eating food prepared by a chef, being served by a waiter who make me feel special. Call me odd, but I’m glad to have some parts of a normal life.
Elated to hear that others feel the same way as I do; On the rare occasions that I eat out (when travelling or with a client in town or with relatives visiting), I get stressed out just thinking about the upcoming experience. My response is to leave a critical review online (AAdvantage Dining, Yelp, etc.) when I experience issues.
Never did much restaurant dining because of that loud music and the high prices for small portions. Since COVID I haven’t eaten inside a restaurant so I don’t know how it compares. But there’s always takeout. Or shop at the deli section of the local supermarket (which is almost the same thing) and go home, where the furniture is probably more comfortable, the music is more to your liking, and you can control the volume, and you can sit as close together or as far apart as you like.
If I don’t like the table or chair that I’m offered or seated at, I ask if I can sit in another location or even a specific table if I see one I like, channeling my ‘old and bold’ self. I let them know why (quieter place, less busy location or more comfortable chair) since they may not be thinking about these things. I also acknowledge the challenge staff has during these short-staffed days. Nearly always, they’re happy to accommodate!
Never did much restaurant dining pre-pandemic. Hate noise, tight space and stress. Did a little takeout in ’21. Can no longer see the point when the price of one delivery could feed me more nutritiously for two days. I will picnic with several friends or meetup with two hobby groups while weather is warm. Some members are autoimmune and cannot go to restaurants.
One thing I don’t miss about dining out is how they look for THE furthest out-of-the-way table at which to seat me. Me, the woman in the wheelchair. I just love having to tuck my shoulders in in order to get to that out-of-everybody else’s-way table behind the kitchen door, next to the men’s restroom door. Are they trying to hide the cripple so that people don’t think this is a handicapped restaurant?
I agree so much with you Virge! PLUS, the noise in restaurants (without counting their annoying “music” at sometimes painful decibels)… just doesn’t make it appetizing enough to looking forward to them. Occasionally when I come home from errands, exhausted and overheated, or frozen over…I give myself the luxury of ordering by phone and enjoying my favorite food comfortably reclined and listening to quiet, classical music. ;o)
It will be a long time, if ever, that I will eat inside a restaurant. Even when younger, if I went to a restaurant with another woman, they tried to seat us near a bussing station or kitchen door. The music was extremely loud and we had to scream across the table to be heard. Some music is intended to rush people for faster turnover. Yes, current prices are significantly higher with smaller portions but that’s become standard practice. First the Covid tax, now inflation tax. An expensive meal.
It is not just you, I concur 100%. The portions are definitely smaller, the prices higher, the service is sub-par and you can’t get the table you want because they don’t have the staff to accommodate. I learned to enjoy cooking at home and have subscribed to several new cookbooks, as well as renovated my kitchen. I’m now happier than ever! And, I can enjoy my smooth jazz music with appropriate dimmed lighting in peace. COVID has definitely allowed me to enjoy my home!
I wonder how universal that memory is of that last restaurant meal shared before Covid shut us down? I vividly remember some co-workers and I at a lovely spot on the upper west side of Manhattan, the two bottles of wine, and the communal feeling of we must do this again, soon. There was no knowing how long I’d have to savor that meal before venturing out to patronize a similar place of business.
Still. Just do take out
I have come to serious thinking when arrival at a restaurant host stand and they give me look over well groomed stylish women that uses cane and grey hair. When they give me a table I don’t care to take I refuse and ask for the one I want to be seated at and have never been refused, and chuckle under my breath, the host knew that you can’t get away with nonsense, but let’s see if we can get away.
Poor soul they will eventually earn.
Don’t fool around with old timers you will not be a winne
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