COMMENTS

21 responses to “Open Thread Update: Why Is Staying in Touch So Hard?”

1. I just reached out to my 2 sons back east.

   My youngest (25) was in a great relationship for 3 years and moved in with his girlfriend 2 years ago.

   Received a brief text 2 weeks after he bought and used a BBQ on July 4th that they had broken up?

   He had just spent a week at a lake in Virginia where his older brother (54), constantly gives bad advise.

   Drove 1400 miles to help. Both sons ignored me – no phone calls or texts. Drove back last Friday.

   Crushed.

   Lonely divorced dad

   Reply to Michael Rainger

2. We all have the same amount of time, and it comes down to choices regarding how we want to spend it. If people/things are worth your time, you will make the effort to engage with them. If they are not, you will choose to spend your time elsewhere. This is true whether you are the initiator or responder to requests for spending time together. Our choices for how we spend time as we get older change, and it’s wonderful when you find people who want to spend time with you, and vice versa.

   Reply to Rose Jaye

3. I too feel that I’m the one usually initiating contact and it does hurt the ego a bit. I realize that I’m not in the same neighborhood or workplace or even close friend circle with some of the folks I want to spend time with so I’ll continue to reach out. If these folks are worth your time then keep the communication lines open. Being social helps your mental health tremendously! Plus you have no idea what they are going through.

   Reply to GJ

4. I was always the organizer to get people together, but I got tired of no one else taking the initiative
   We started looking at active over 55 communities across America
   We found one that suits us
   It offers golf tennis pickleball dining classes and events
   We are moving
   Someone else will now organize and we will be happy to partake

   Reply to Donna Mercer

   1. You go girl!! We must stay in our old home because our disabled daughter is not allowed in Senior Communities. So I live vicariously through my friends who do!! LOL!!

      Reply to Michelle James

5. What happened to my comment?

   Reply to Mary

6. I find Senior Planet’s articles vacuous and irrelevant. Older adults are still adults, children. SP fails to advise readers on how to navigate or even survive our rapidly changing culture, politics and financial crisis.
   Sorry. I just don’t have time for you.

   Reply to Art Chippendale

   1. Thank you for your thoughts Art. My thoughts: S.P. can lead you to other platforms. That’s why I keep reading these threads! I suggest you check out OATS.org for a plethora of hands-on solutions, DIY, very adult and co-generational navigation through challenges of living outside the box. Pun intended.

      Reply to Belinda

      1. Thank you for this article. I’m also working, but I’m off for the summer–somewhat retired during late June, July, and August. When teaching online during the pandemic, I would list things to do for the day–things that needed to be accomplished to stay on track. I think that you need to be planful to make those calls or send a text to initiate plans. Also, to keep plans simple–a walk in the park, a stop for coffee, or a lunch or dinner date. Great reminder–many thanks. Meri

7. This all rings so true! Now that I’m retired and things are opening up again, it’s a quandry what to do about our friend’s group that used to get together for fun or card games. Also, every time I turn around we’re all older and someone is getting sick or having a knee replacement.

   Reply to Ellen

   1. I, too, have been trying to find my way after retirement, less than a year ago. I’ve had some health and home challenges, but they are resolved for now. I want a part time job but even though they say they don’t discriminate, they do. Pushing on. Let’s support each other, whether we work or not. Doesn’t have to be lengthy, but staying in touch is heart-warming!! It may be a hot summer, but that doesn’t warm the heart!!

      Reply to Michelle James

8. Great ! People have to remember we all need each other in one way or the other. Communication is very important. Take time to reach out to others, don’t worry about who returns a call, text or wave. Just understand how it makes to feel to reach out to others. You will get more joy out of your intentional actions than u know. Have a wonderful day

   Reply to Sandra

9. Wow!! How patronizing that” I can’t waste 90 minutes shooting the breeze” with your retired friends! Ageism loud and clear!

   Reply to Mary C Collins

   1. HI there, maybe you didn’t notice in the text, but I said I couldn’t spare 90 minutes. I didn’t say it was a waste.

      Reply to Virge

10. Facebook, texts, IMs, Zoom….so many people seem lonelier than ever. Are we all really that busy? Or are we just….lazy?
    Hi Virge! my experience leads me to believe that people are just lazy and Facebook,etc. make it too easy. Just click on a like or a mijoli and press send. I email and ask questions that demand a response – like why haven’t you gotten back to me when I asked you my question about ………

    Reply to dotwich

    1. I find I’ve gotten a bit lazy, admittedly. When I retired I had a plethora of challenges and now that it’s settled down to a dull roar, I find I am relaxing too much!! LOL!! I find myself making excuses, such as too hot outside. Bad me!!

       Reply to Michelle James

11. I am member of Aarp/United Healthcare. How do i review my account online

    Reply to Ron Reggev

    1. Sorry but you’ll have to contact AARP/UHC to find out hows to do that; this forum is not equipped to handle queries like this.

       Reply to senior planet

       1. I wish I knew. My closest friends are deceased and my husband has Parkinson’s. I would like to meet people on zoom or in person. I am 76 years old and live in Morningside Heights

       2. Contact your local HICAP, they can help. Good luck!

    2. Hi Ron, in order to find out about how other folks get info from health care people, even financial suggestions:
       Free daily, weekly events are offered through Senior Planet.org about health and have a huge community. Maybe spend a morning checking out the events. Maybe search boxes on Senior Planet.org. about “seniors and health care decision”
       I am pretty sure you will find some info during live free events. Good luck!

       Reply to Belinda