COMMENTS

14 responses to “Helen Mirren’s Zinger Exposes Ageist Compliments”

1. When told that I look so much younger then my age, I respond to the kid that I really wish to look just like him/her when I grow up. When told that I don’t look like his/her grandmother, I truly respond that I never had children, nor grand-children, that’s why! When I am given a seat (help) in the public transport after work, I say thank you very much and don’t think of the reason why – could be anything.

   Reply to Celine

2. Nora O’Donnell on the CBS Morning News said today that Bernie Sanders may be 74 but he is still a fresh face – seems very aegist. What does age have to do with being fresh or having fresh ideas??

   Reply to Linder

   1. Actually, age can increase the potential for fresh ideas! I often speak about the unique genius of people over 50 and way beyond. We tend to be more reflective. We tend to stop worrying what others think — which is a huge barrier to fresh ideas! We tend to be concerned more with purpose than style; to the extent our time is free from earning a living and we’re willing to do anything creative, we can liberate much of that brilliance that came in our DNA but got quashed out of of long ago.

      Wisdom may get a lot of lip service, but it’s really unappreciated. I can’t imagine that wisdom equals hidebound. Wise people keep growing more insightful and creative all the time.

      Someday soon, people will look forward to aging as a time of fulfillment and constant new adventure. That’s how it is for so many people I am privileged to know. Thanks to Senior Planet for helping to connect us.

      Reply to Pat Sullivan

3. To this little gem … “Can I help you, young lady?” … my response, which I am forced to use all too frequently, is,
   “Sir/Madame, I am certainly not young as you can well see, and the appellation of ‘lady’ has always been in serious doubt where I’m concerned!

   Reply to Miki Davis

4. Plastic surgery is ageist & sexist? Not just women & not just older women are getting plastic surgery. One might think your statement is ageist & sexist for even hinting at that. It’s ok to want to look good at any age. She’s not trying to hide or deny her age.

   Reply to Deb

5. I think anytime someone tries to compliment you, they have taken notice you are alive and are present. Too often older people are just invisible to young people, they are not even seen or acknowledged. When they are actually included in a conversation and treated as an equal to the young it is rare. I think older men have an easier time being seen than older women. So every compliment that I receive, I accept as a genuine attempt to make a connection, no matter how ageist it may sound. The intention is most important.

   Reply to April Garlow

6. My previous CEO used to call me “Young Lady”…made me feel as if he didn’t know my name!

   Reply to Cathie Brown

7. 1- “Really? I guess that’s why you’ll never win the lotto.”

   2- “Really? You should see my dog.”

   3- “Really? I guess I’m not dead either.”

   4- “Really? Poor dear; tell her to get a life.”

   5- “Really? No, I can diaper you myself; now be a good baby and turnover.”

   Fun Stuff:)

   Reply to Max Norat

8. People have said to me: “How could you be 73? You’re so vibrant!” (Or if they have not met me yet, “You sound do vibrant.” The next time it happens, I may say, “Well I’ve had many years of practice at being fully alive, and I hope for at least another 30 years of the same.”

   When people say it’s so cute that any of us are having a good life or still in love with a spouse after decades, I don’t know what to say. Right now I just make a face that tries to say “Really? On your planet love and life are cute?” Maybe it’s time to affirm that love and life take work, not to mention some ripe wisdom. And when life works at any age, it’s really juicy and sometimes sexy. I didn’t know how to live this well many years ago.

   Reply to Pat Sullivan

9. “I’d never guess you were 65!”
   Thank you.

   “You’re so cute!”
   Thank you.

   “Oh, you’re not old!”
   Thank you.

   “You’re not a bit like my grandmother!
   Thank you.

   “Can I help you, young lady?”
   Thank you.

   I believe that everyone is too quick to take offense in this world. We seniors are more likely to help push back against ageism by setting an example of graciousness than by being snarky.

   Reply to Carol Elkins

10. Gloria Steinham was the originator of the response “This what [given age] looks like”.

    Reply to Toni McConnel

11. An aegist comment I often hear when someone has passed is “it’s sad he/she died but they were already 85”. (As if to say at some point life is no longer worth living.)

    Reply to A. Blatt

12. Mirren has had a whack of plastic surgery, and she did it for the compliments. She looks as good as money can buy. Be honest. She’s as ageist and sexist as the people making the comments to her but also a hypocrite.

    Reply to r

    1. When my mom passed away at 95 years old, people said “It’s sad, but she lived a good long life.” Like that was supposed to help with the loss and make her death insignificant

       Reply to Connie D