COMMENTS

19 responses to “Friends with Benefits?….or more?”

1. I had a fab after my 30 year ended. It lasted for 18 months. I ultimately wanted more then he wanted to give me, as my feelings grew. Now it’s been 3 years and he wants to try it again. I’ve been alone these last 3 years. So my question is , I’m 66 years old. What is better loneliness or giving another try at his desire for FWB again, this time knowing that’s what it is.

   Reply to Gail Brenner

2. I’m so tired of battling my emotions and commitments. Being married with no sexual interactions except for the 3 minute quicky every 2-3 years sucks. Every year for the past 5 years I try to get away for 4-5 days just hoping that I could run into a female counterpart that would be as in need as me and yet not wanting to destroy our marriages. I don’t hate or dislike my wife, but I am resenting hearing that it’s not fair that she can’t have any sexual encounter because of physical discomfort. It isn’t that I wouldn’t try or do what ever she desired from oral to a good old fashioned slow screw. But when I do, all I hear is complaints for the next six months. Heck the last time I even tried, I was told that I didn’t know how to have foreplay. Ladies, how do you do that without touching?
   Another 4-5 days coming up in a few weeks and I’ll be staying at a motel at night and visiting a sexual freedom campground in Wisconsin during the day. At least maybe I can be a voyeur to someone else having pleasure.

   Reply to Randy

   1. Randy is still in the same situation. There is no real communication about our problems. Today I tried to get a little bit flirtatious and was accused of trying to make her feel guilty because of her rejection of my advances. I’m beginning to wish that I could die.

      Reply to Randy

      1. You could do what’s called: divorce. You’ll both be happier.

3. Hello, I’m over 50 and am looking for a companion here in Sanford, NC, are there any?

   Reply to Michael Lecrone

4. I am retired and very bored. Would like to talk to someone to start

   Reply to Tom

5. What I have to explore is THE PHILOSOPHY OF CULTIVATING PLEASURE, pleasure exist on many levels. There are more ways to create pleasure ,imagination is the key good old chin wags . Talking. is the best foreplay of the mind being comfortable is important ,trust is earned . Then shared pleasure. Why is talking about pleasure so dam hard dam politically correct shit. We are all over the hills many years ago . I have explored nudity, naked yoga ,nudism sure my body got lot of extra bumps scares spots came out of nowhere teeth sleep in a cup but my body is a lot of fun .The biggest thing ladies talk about is the fear of self imposed guilt denial, that was taught growing up is hard to loose. Look at pain that shit just happens out of our control mental physical can harsh my mellow. Now pleasure is of our own creation that’s where cultivation comes in like a garden of delights has to be cared for to get the best. That’s where philosophy comes in intelligent conversions between to people who lived , Now pleasure is a great philosophy to explore,!!!!!! Keep up the good work. MORE MAYBE LATER SMILE IT KEEPS PEOPLE GUESSING

   Reply to fred

6. To me, it isn’t any different than when one is younger and in a dating relationship that involves sexual intimacy. So “dating” works…”we’re dating”. I don’t think it needs special labels at certain ages. But as you outline, she senses that he may be feeling less emotionally attached than she is, which is why she is questioning. The open, honest questions are important to define that she feels she is feeling more committed and attached and it is evolving for her and she would like to understand what he’s feeling now. If they aren’t on the same page, she either has to “guard her heart” or end it and find another who might want more. Maybe in the beginning she thought no-strings sex and companionship was what she wanted, but maybe she’s discovering that she may want more than that in the future. I would also think that “safe sex” at any age should be practiced. She met him on the internet…neither one of them know where they have been or what they have been doing. Personally, I would want STD and AIDS testing before I started a sexual relationship or at the very least, protected sex.

   Reply to Cherrie

7. In the past, people in their fifties, sixties and more rarely “dated”. We are the first generation to expect to continue our emotional and sexual lives, and thanks to the internet, it is much easier than before . But we are making it up as we go along. Monogamy serves a purpose when one has a family, is sharing a home, perhaps buying property together. Now we are free to explore different kinds of relationships. It doesn’t have to be any “model”, just what suits you both. Of course, it can be difficult to let go of jealousy and possessiveness.

   Reply to Kate

   1. Really like you writing.
      Do you live in Tucson?

      Reply to BOB

8. My wife of 44 years, who I loved more than life itself, passed away in september,2017 of cancer, 8 weeks of hospice and gone. I have always had this companion. Now I don’t even have a clue where to begin to look for a companion, commitment,good times, bad times, trust, sex,family relationship,you name it. The tears of loneliness are drowning me. We always had a good relationship. How does one start anew?

   Reply to William shubeck

   1. I know how this feels, William — I’ve been there. Take all the time you need to grieve. There’s no timeline that fits all. In my case, I thought I was ready to date, then discovered no, I wasn’t. After much more time, I finally was. Even then, there were times that grief overwhelmed me. It’s not linear — we don’t grieve and then we’re done. We go in and out of grief, cycling through it. Whatever we feel, however we react, it’s all normal.

      When you do feel ready to seek companionship, you might find my “How the Heck Do I Date at This Age?” webinar useful. Learn more at https://seniorplanet.org//betterthanieverexpected.blogspot.com/2017/08/webinars-joan-prices-senior-sex-online.html.

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts, William. I know that many people are asking the same questions.

      – Joan Price

      Reply to Joan Price

   2. Dear William these are the most difficult times I know it’s hard to even get out of bed some days but you need to keep faith and be strong and know that she’s in a better place it took me a few years to come to terms with the loss of my husband I totally understand where you’re coming from I will keep you in my prayers and know that in good time it does get better but the only way you will ever be able to be free from this pain is to surround yourself with love ones take it one day at a time have a blessed day Yours truly Jules

      Reply to Julie

   3. Hey I completely understand am very lonely too but my husband not dead. He just won’t be there emotionally for me. We don’t have sex not even a hug most if the time not even a good morning. I miss hugs lol and smiles and a good morning even would be great.. you’re not alone. Just wanted you to know.

      Reply to Bonnie

      1. That how my wife is ! No sex in 25 years and if I ask she tells me NO NO NO. Just want a hug alias and a little snuggle. Sad but I was told I am just to old ! I do NOT think so just want to hear kind words!

      2. I LOVE THE WAY THAT YOU THINK, AND FEEL. I ALSO AM A HUGGER AND A TOUCHER. MY WIFE PASSED THREE YEARS NOW. I NEED TO HUG, TOUCH AND PLAY. looking for that person

      3. i know what you mean. i went thru that for a few years. a very lonely time in my life. after the divorce i i just crawled in my shell and stayed there. i have met a few mature ladies but they wanted to be friends is all, i’m not a womanizer but i want sex still. all the mature ladies lost their libidos

9. I’m stiill learning the commincation of internet. There are somethings that I just have to learn.

   Reply to Lashana Mack

10. Excellent response, commincation dialogue, and inquiry/feedback re: “date mate” term.

    Also, it’s a great topic for any age!

    Reply to Shana Deane