Every month in Sex at Our Age, award-winning senior sexpert Joan Price answers your questions about everything from loss of desire to solo sex and partner issues. Nothing is out of bounds! If you’re over 60, submit your questions to this column by emailing Joan directly at sexpert@seniorplanet.org.
A reader asks:
I am 62, a widow for two years. I recently signed up on OkCupid, a dating site. After a month, I quit. I do not like men asking me sexual questions on a first phone call as if I am being interviewed for a role in a porn movie.
There is nothing sexual in my profile. I specified that I was looking for a relationship that would last several years, not casual sex. My photos showed me in modest clothing. And yet almost every man who contacted me talked about sex! Can you imagine a man in his 70s telling a stranger that she was “good enough for five or six romps in the hay”? Or asking me how I felt about “golden showers”?
I never went on a single date in the month I used the site. A couple of men were gentlemen, but we didn’t click. The rest were creeps. In total, I talked with about a dozen men. Once on the phone, they did not want to talk about much except sex. Come on, buy the lady a cup of coffee.
Yes, I am interested in a sexual relationship eventually. If we had a date and we clicked, my guess is that six or so dates later, sex would happen. My husband would have told you that I was the most willing and enthusiastic lover he ever had. I just don’t like being treated like a hooker or a one-night-stand. I’m worth more than that. In the age of Viagra and cheap porn, are men reverting to behaving like teenagers?
Where are the men with character? I talked with a male friend and his response saddened and enlightened me. He said that my appearance makes me f**k-able but my age makes me undateable. I learn something all the time. I know if this is happening to me, it is happening to other women. I am looking forward to your insights.
Fed Up
Joan replies:
I understand why you’re fed up after these blatantly sexual approaches. But don’t give up on dating sites. You picked a good one that many seniors (and younger folks) use and endorse. One month is a very short testing time. There are plenty of good men there. Next time, I recommend a few email exchanges before your first phone call to weed out the creeps and see if there’s potential for more.
Your dissatisfaction is based on some crass guys who probably respond to every profile they read, hoping for the best. Did you read through various men’s profiles and contact some of the interesting ones directly, or just wait for men to choose you? It’s a modern world, and to use the dating sites effectively, we need to approach people whose profiles we find appealing, not wait for them to find us.
Dating sites can be intimidating, especially if we’re not used to “marketing” ourselves. It’s a challenge to present ourselves effectively. Some tips for attracting the right matches:
- Write your profile carefully, making it stand out as unique and appealing.
- What qualities do you have that make you a good match? Omit anything that makes you sound like everyone else or that a potential date wouldn’t care about in the least.
- Figure out the qualities of the person you seek. Describe the kind of person you’re looking for in your profile.
- Don’t try to be general and attract everyone. You don’t want everyone. Imagine that you’re trying to attract the attention of your perfect match — what would you want this person to know about you? Put that in the first paragraph.
- Have a friend who knows you well give you an honest critique on your profile and help with wording.
- It would be really beneficial for you to watch my webinar, “How the Heck do I Date at This Age?” which includes tons of advice on how to write a profile that will get the kinds of responses you want, first dates, and more.
Thank you for pointing out that we can be interested in a sexual relationship if it evolves over a series of dates, while being offended if we’re treated like a slab of meat in the first conversation. It might not surprise you that one of the most frequent questions I get from single guys is how to find someone for sex. Some are as tactless as the phone calls you describe. Others are well-meaning, respectful men who aren’t ready for an ongoing relationship — maybe they’re recently widowed or in the aftermath of a bad break-up. But they want to connect sexually and don’t know how to approach women to explore that. Hint: don’t tell her how many romps in the hay she’s good for and save your “golden showers” question until you get to know each other.
As for your male friend who said that you’re “f**k-able” but not “datable” at your age — he’s just plain wrong. Please don’t take that destructive message to heart. Many of us find dates, matches, and more at your age, at my age (75), and older. You will, too.
Readers: If you’ve tried online dating, what are your tips for finding good matches? Let us know in the comments!
Send Joan your questions by emailing sexpert@seniorplanet.org. All information is confidential. Joan can only answer questions that are chosen for publication from readers age 60+.
Joan Price is the author of several self-help books about senior sex including the award-winning “Naked at Our Age” and her newest, “Sex after Grief: Navigating Your Sexuality after Loss of Your Beloved,” coming August 2019. Visit Joan’s website, blog “Naked at Our Age,” and Facebook page. For senior sex news, tips, event and webinar announcements, and special offers, subscribe to Joan’s free newsletter.
Readers: If you’ve tried online dating, what are your tips for finding good matches? Let us know in the comments!
COMMENTS
31 responses to “Ask Joan: Do online dating men only want sex?”
This is simply how 99% of men are designed starting from puberty. It is all because of testosterone, most men have too much testosterone starting from puberty and after there 20’s they are trained to hunt for woman willing to have sex. Although, there are less than 1% of men that are not this way at all because since puberty they have always had a low amount of testosterone. This is how to spot a man like this. He is usually short, not masculine, has small neck, no visible Adams apple.
I am completely amazed that most of the older women who have posted still do not understand that pair-bonding is primal in nature. While love is a conscious choice, attraction, chemistry, lust, and limerence are all primal in nature. These aspects of life are controlled by the same part of the brain that controls the autonomic system. We cannot will ourselves to be attracted to a person no matter how perfect he/she is on paper no more than we can hold our breath indefinitely. To further complicate things, men and women are driven to pair-bond for very different reasons. Any woman or man who fails to understand those differences is setting herself/himself up for disappointment and failure.
The reality is that women are the gatekeepers to sex. Obtaining sex is no big deal for most women, which is why they think sex is cheap. Most women have been fighting off male advances since puberty. That is not remotely true for the average man. Women like to think that sex is easy for men to obtain, but that is only true for the top 20% of men.
Men are the gatekeepers to commitment. Men experience almost no resistance to wanting commitment from an interested woman, but they have to work for sex. The lack of books written about obtaining commitment is close to nil for men whereas books on this subject targeted at women litter bookshelves. That difference alone should set off alarms in the average single woman’s mind.
With that out of the way, let’s look at pair bonding from evolutionary psychology point of view. Women almost always date with the goal of establishing a long-term relationship. Sure, there are times when women are open to a fling, but they do not need to date to have a fling. Why do women date with the goal of a long-term relationship? It is quite simple. Compared to men, women are quite fearful creatures. They should be because the average man is 5″ taller and 50lbs heavier than the average woman. Plus, he carries most of the extra weight above his shoulders, so he has substantially more upper body strength.
Put plainly, a woman’s most basic primal need is to feel safe and secure. That is why male height is a female mate primal selection trigger. The preference for men who are taller/larger than average is driven by a woman’s primal need to feel safe and secure from unwanted advances from other men. Contrary to what a lot of whining men say, this preference has nothing to do with socialization. The same thing can be said about a man’s status. How many women are willing to date down in social class? Not many! A man’s ranking within a social hierarchy is also a female primal mate selection trigger. These primal triggers exist for a woman’s survival and that of her offspring.
Now, men do not have the same primal mate selection triggers because men have traditionally made their own way in addition to providing safety and security for women and children. Accept it or not, a man’s most basic primal need is to procreate the species. A heterosexual man’s top-two primal mate selection triggers are a woman’s bust size and her hip-to-waist ratio, which are visual cues to being able to nurse and survive child birth. Furthermore, a woman can only bear only a limited number of children at a time, but a man can impregnate multiple women at a time, so there is no instinctive drive to stay with just one woman. That practice is controlled in modern society via socialization.
We are no longer cave dwellers, but primal instinct that was selected under pressure during that periods controls the pair-bonding dance to this day. It is all about ensuring the survival of our individual genes. A woman ‘s highest probability of passing on her genes is by ensuring the survival her offspring. A man’s greatest chance of ensuring the survival of his genes is to impregnate as many women as possible. By doing so, it does not matter if he does not provide safety and security or provisioning. He wins by sheer numbers.
Let’s get something crystal clear. All, and I do mean all able-bodied men are driven to date by the desire to have sex with a fun partner. A relationship for most men is a side effect of seeking sex. To quote a popular dating coach, men look for sex and find love. For heterosexual men, that means sex with a woman, a gender for whom sex is easily obtained; therefore, it is cheap. The only older men who are dating without sex being the driver are men with health problems who are looking for a nurse with a purse. Few older women are interested in these men.
Finally, women, and I do mean at least 80% of the women who are on dating sites focus their attention on the top 20% of the men on dating sites. They do so because they consider the other 80% of the men to be less than average when it comes to attractiveness (a statistical anomaly because only half of anything can be less than average). This data was presented by OkCupid Research a few years ago. I was clearly in the top 20% of men when I was on the dating sites from age 55 to age 57 (I fooled and around and fell in love so to speak, so that ended my dating site days). I went on over 100 meet-and-greets during that period and the number could have easily been at least double that figure if I had not grown to be incredibly selective (not to mention tired of meet-and-greets). Furthermore, I discovered that women who had clearly posted that they were not interested in “hooking up” or an FWB were more than willing to strip down to bare flesh on the first date with me (I am talking about unsolicited offers), so men are not the only gender that is guilty of wanting to hookup. The only difference between the genders is that men are far less selective when it comes to hooking up. My experience online was so radically different than that of my peer-age male single friends that I had to figure out why, which led to understanding that pair-bonding is primal in nature. It does not matter how old we get. Primal instinct is in control of who we find attractive. That is why we do stupid things when we are under the spell. For men, that means who they will pursue. Yes, the desire to pursue is primal instinct.
i agree with all you wrote
i wonder if you feel love or connection with women after sex or desire for continued interaction
Additionally, good men that were in long term marriages where the sexual desires were not balanced, find themselves “hunting” for a more balanced sexual relationship after being widowed.
With his sex drive clock ticking and maybe wanting to make up for lost time, he is up front about sexual desire from the start. This is his idea to ensure that the missing component from his former relationship, will be up front on a new commitment.
I was widowed just over a year ago and decided to try online dating for the first time. After 3 days of messaging, I decided it wasn’t for me as there were so many men who just went headlong into talking about sex. However I did continue messaging outside the site, someone who sounded very decent. We spoke on the phone and he sounded genuine. We arranged to meet for dinner that night (this is day 3 after I started online on dating site). He was very keen on me after dinner, said that I was better than I portrayed online etc. Full of compliments, but not at all creepy. All very charming and gentle. He wanted to meet again the next evening, so I agreed and he came round to my place for a couple of hours. We sat on the settee and chatted about all sorts of things, and we clicked. We had a cuddle and a kiss, and he said goodbye. He messaged me 3 times a day, and 3 days later came to see me again. We went out for dinner, came back to mine and “relaxed with Netflix”. One thing led to another, and he ended up staying the night. The next morning, he said he had to go, and we arranged that I’d go to his place to stay the next day. I never heard from him the rest of the day, nor the next, he never replied to any of my messages and he never opened them anyway. Then I just messaged and asked him if he still wanted me to come over, and he then very quickly replied that he was working and there was no point. That was the last I heard from him. This experience has left me feeling cheap and dirty, like a hooker. Never at any point did I think he was a conniving man, but in hindsight, he’d planned the whole thing. He was seriously gentle and lovely. But the way he just dumped me was heartless and cruel, to someone he knew was naive and vulnerable after losing my husband. And all for one night of sex? It is really a depraved society if men can only see women for one thing. I am worth more than that. But he made me feel otherwise.
My gosh, I have had the same thing happen to me! The manipulation is unreal. Thank you for sharing that. We are not alone.
I have tried to be optimistic thinking there’s got to be someone out there for me, but I have been on this rollercoaster too many times and still, still am astonished at what men can do. They say women do it too, and I’m sure they do. But…come on. Speechless.
Sorry one more thing I saw the comment about COVID and that is a problem too I went on my first “Date” since COVID and he took took me back to his place and I was like I thought we were going to dinner? and he said sorry we cant because of COVID even though restaurants are open half capacity where I live. I just thought like he was using the COVID as a way to be cheap and creepy.
Online dating is horrible it is not only that the want sex , phone sex, and than get mad if you do not feel comfortable. Feel sometimes like a free porn opportunity. Send me sexy pictures….whaaat I don’t even know you. I am so dussapointed in men in their 50 and 60 that still want to play games. Grow up
Not yet 60 though pushing it….but look ten years younger. Same experience. The last guy, who I was quite taken with at first, asked me for online sex in the first conversation….because COVID precludes the real thing, he said. Say what? You want me to WHAT? Nooooo…. I cannot imagine it without laughing hysterically. Do women actually do this? If so, why?!!! If we all said no, they’d have to up their game, eh? I think there are a lot of very shallow men out there, who are emotionally immature and afraid of true intimacy, which is physical, emotional and, possibly, intellectual. There are a few who aren’t, but it is so exhausting looking for them. Maybe better to invest time and energy in Lovehoney! Less complicated and, in my experience, more satisfying!
I am a 63 year old widow, but I look much younger.
Unfortunately lost my husband 25 years ago.
I dated him 9 yrs and was married 8 years, total 17 yrs.
A few years after his passing, met a man at my company. We dated, evrntually cohabitated.
Were together 11 years total, left him after he cheated.
For the past 11 years, have tried online dating.
It is really disgusting. I agree 1000 percent.
95% of men bring up sex or sexual referemces right away. Literally feels like men treated me like I was a prostitute. Always about sex, wanted intimate pictures before meetimg in person. Disgusting.
I have had scammers, liars, married men, perverts, men only want hookups.
Relationship, commitment, long term last thing these men want. They use dating sites as free porn sites.
Women trying to compete, spoil men by posting provilocative pictures.
Very few genuine people on dating sites.
i deleted my account, so tired of it all.
I am 66 years old. I have been in a few relationships since my divorce, and I consider myself fairly expert when it comes to on-line dating. I limit my search to the 58 to 70 age range. I have a number of things I call “tells” when it comes to a woman’s on-line dating profile. I am not saying they indicate character issues. Just “something”. My profile is very honest and straight forward. I make it clear that I am looking for a mate who enjoys travel, art, nature, and all sorts of social and educational activities. I am also clear that I am interested in a long term relationship with a woman who enjoys sex, and has a healthy, and adventurous sexual appetite. Someone who will be a giver as well as a taker. Someone who is comfortable with her own body, and enjoys being naked. From experience, a sexual relationship can easily turn into a romantic relationship. And that’s wonderful. But a romantic relationship that turns out to be a sexless one, is a tragic, hopeless heartache. Something to be avoided at all costs.
You might think that is disgusting. But at our age there is so much going on with our bodies, I think it is important that we are honest with our partner, and with ourselves. We can’t always hide things behind makeup. We can’t hide the little crust spots, or moles, or our toenails. We can’t ignore our cramps, or aches and pains. We need to be prepared to invite a helping hand. We might need someone to put some cream on our back. We might want someone to take a pumice stone to our feet before we go for a walk in the city, or to a museum, or before we board a plane to Europe. We might all need a lot of things. Very natural things that some women might call disgusting. Maybe those same women who find a man’s preoccupation with sex disgusting. So I look for the “tells”.
The “tells” I was referring to are the things that indicate to me that a woman places little importance on sexual desire. Someone who has left that part of her life behind. One of those “tells” is when a woman says she enjoys a glass of wine at the end of the day. And that’s okay. But why would a woman tell you she enjoys drinking. A glass of wine is the same as a shot of vodka. And two glasses of wine (which is almost a sure thing) is like two shots of vodka. I stand 5-11 and 194 lbs. If I have two shots of vodka I am impaired. Who wants to be with a woman who is impaired every night. How attentive is a woman going to be when she is impaired. I’ve been there before. I find that truly disgusting.
I don’t have any doubt my profile statements will limit the number of women who contact me. I never contact a woman first, so it will probably be a long time before I have an on-line generated date. But I think the men who are out there offending women with their impatience have the same feelings I do. They have just decided not to tie their fate to time and tide. My advice is, have a little understanding and to just say no thank you. Or go for it. What do you have to loose. You won’t be giving anything away that you don’t have an unlimited supply of. And try thinking about this. When the time comes, which one of the guys you meet is going to be the one you ask to put cream on the rash you got from your depends. I am prepared. Are you?
Hi, Albert! What an interesting conversation you just put on this website. I think that the men that the above ladies were speaking about were definitely creeps and went to a lot of trouble to make sure that their conversation was creepy. You talk about the need for sex where they are looking for something more deeply than what you talk about . What do you think we should understand about what you said is you think some of the women just because they ask for a glass of wine or appreciate a glass of wine at the end of the day makes them impaired? I don’t think so. So to what you have stated above I think you’re way off when it comes to women and what they’re looking for. Although we do you know now that what you were looking for is clearly stated in your comment. I say you can find a gentleman online who is looking for more than “putting cream on your rash you just got from your Depends.” Lol! Best wishes and “No thank you.”
I wish I’d read all these comments before going online. It makes one lost trust of all men, but I’m sure there are genuine men out there waiting for us. I just don’t know where.
To the original poster:
I cannot speak for all men, but most men under 50 (like me) probably share my opinion on the matter, which is this: do not “seriously date” any woman over 35, but if she is hot regardless of age, sex is definitely “on the table”. As far as I am concerned, your “male friend” was telling you the truth (so maybe you should get out there and “get it on” instead of worrying about being in a relationship).
I think this is happening at all ages. I’m 43 and found this site via Google when trying to see if my experience of dating apps was normal……full of men looking for free prostitute replacements even if they say they are looking for a “serious relationship”. No conversation skills, no apparent interest in meeting up unless its for sex, no questions to find out who I am and no shame at asking detailed questions right off the bat. I asked someone once whether he would walk up to someone in a bar, say hello and then straight away ask if they liked doggy style and drop their trousers to show them their crotch. He admitted probably not but didn’t see why the same thing by writing wasn’t actually any better. One person that I actually met, liked and did sleep with then told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship…..doesn’t stop him getting in touch every once in a while to see if he can “drop round”. I told him after the 1st encounter like this, when it became blatantly obvious it was purely a booty call, that I felt like a free hooker. He was embarrassed and apologized. A few weeks later he asked me for dinner to make up for it. He pretty much jumped me after the first sip of the pre- dinner drink so once again only looking for sex and now lying to get it. Told him I wasn’t interested and just yesterday (after a couple of months) he’s back asking if I’m around. Really??!! This type of thing has happened with a couple of people now and I’ve pretty much lost faith in the male species (or at least the ones online). :( A couple of friends have had similar experiences so I’m not the problem….. totally fed up too!
Was a good read. Appreciate how you brought in the insights and all that. Also appreciate the fact that you reply to your readers so efficiently. However there are other sites you can use for these purposes.
I used online dating in a way to break out of my loneliness. I am/was mid sixties and I met many women online. I am intelligent and capable of realising that a woman needs to be seduced. Sex comes later and for me only once a bond of trust, friendship and respect has been developed. But too many of the women I dated thought too much of themselves. Don’t publish 20 year old photos, be realistic, if you are fat and wrinkly don’t expect Brad Pitt or George Clooney to turn up.
Well I met one beautiful woman and after a few dates we had sex and it was very good and I fell in love and proposed – big mistake – after we married sex and pleasantness stopped completely. I was utterly conned by her seeming normal and loving and it cost a lot emotionally and financially to escape from the horror of abuse and physical assaults.
A few months after that disaster with a decree nisi I started again slightly wiser.
After a few dates I realised that most middle aged and older but still sexually attractive women live in a fantasy world about their own attractiveness. They had gym memberships but never used them talked about themselves as if they were 30 something, drank too much, and thought they were God’s gift to the world rather than being like the men the same age – old has beens or never weres.
So get some realism. get fit, sex comes easily to fit people. Lose a few kilos, pump some iron, burn calories, wear tight pants and flaunt your body. Many men on dating sites are fat bald losers too cheap to hire a professional, ignore them.
As it happened after a couple of months I found a wonderful woman through eHarmony, a widow with grief she needed to work through. So listening, was my seduction technique, helping with legal crap and lying lawyers. After several dates and three months of online messaging we finally took a holiday together in the same hotel but separate rooms. We had the most amazing sexual encounter and now a year later and great sex we are steadily getting together, helping each other with blind spots in life skills. Today she asked me to move in.
So my advice is try seeing yourself as others may see you, look for the character beneath the words and images. Hang in for the right person and it will happen. No part of life is easy, so work at dating as you would at any other skill.
Life is good…..
I used Ok cupid also. It’s truly full of men who are just looking for sex and lack moral principle. I met a guy online that seemed descent at first! We chatted for a while, then text. I should have paid attention when he said we can meet over each other’s houses on the first phone call. I said it’s not gonna happen. He seemed a little upset, but we continued talking. We met for smoothies, then afterward, he invited me over his place again. I refused and he was clearly upset. He then started texting and calling less frequently. Finally he admitted he is just looking for sex. Not love, marriage, or family. He even said, he doesn’t see how going to a strangers home is odd..He apparently sleeps around a lot because it makes him feel “liberated” That’s his life and choice. I want love not lust. I am so glad he is gone.He was strange.
I have been online dating for a few years and it don’t seem to be the same anymore the men was a little bit more patients and understanding now idont know or understand what had happen between back than and now the men now are so inpatient and all is what on their mind is sex like teenage school boys and they lie in their profile about what they are looking for in a relationship and they are not serious about anything and they can’t hold a decent conversation in their texting or online date sites emails its always about sex like the world is coming to an end they don’t even ask you out on a date anymore either its such a sad situation all away around the internet date sites they treat women online like bookers and one night stands the men need to grow up and start treating the women more respectful and they need to start being more responsible for their actions
Very informative and like it really is today. Thanks for the encouraging words.
I have been a widower for twelve years, I concur with Joyce. As she has those experiences with men, I have this with women. I am conservative, value family life, morals, decency and manners. I have tried several dating sites to no avail, either the women are non existent or they disappear into thin air.
I am educated and own my own house, are debt free and are in exceptionally good health, I don’t drink, smoke or do drugs. I have no tattoos or rings on my body. I have come to the conclusion that many dating agencies need to vigorously check or vet the people they let onto their site/s. Some profiles seem dubious to me.
I too have given up on finding a decent female partner and are not holding my breath in ever finding someone decent, to have a coffee with, meal or a reasonable conversation.
I wish you well Joyce in finding a decent partner who likes you for whom you are and not see you as a sex toy.
Best wishes,
Peter
The women who write you off must be shallow or prefer “bad boys,” but to me, you sound ideal. I wish you well, Peter.
EXACTLY! No one seeks to be viewed as a sex toy!
You’re rare!!
My comment. I don’t need sites. I go with a LADY and I’m just happy with her friendship. We met through another friend and we’ve gone together almost 3 years.
Physical doesn’t enter the picture.
Over a four year period after the second marriage ended I opted for answering great descriptions of men wanting women in the newspaper.
After four years of miserable experiences I quit that route. Though each prospect took me out to lunch, (I was pretty, dressed well),
the male never once commented on my person, my looks, my anything! Talked all about themselves. One wanted sex with me 3x before taking me on a cruise for a month. Scratched that. Wanted to see if we were compatible, in 3 tries? Others were just not right. One I went for another date at night. When I asked to bring me to my car after dinner, he drove in opposite direction. He wanted me at his home for a drink. I had told him I needed time and other meetings to determine something serious. He called again. Could we take a walk in a park? Fine. Sat down to enjoy the view. Next thing I knew his tongue was in my ear!! That ended that! Sadly, all said wives died of cancer. Perhaps they just never decided to grow themselves and leave their selfish, self-centered men?
Other dates sex was to be the end result after dinner. When I said I liked him, wanted to get to know him, wanted a little time before being intimate well, never heard from those 5 again. Gave up. Several years later tried online. Each time man apologized…looking for someone 30 years younger,,slim, etc. I described myself as intelligent, honest, very attractive, avid reader, great conversationalist, loved nature, a good listener. No, they want youth and sex. pretty sad.
Gave up. Its been many years. No opportunities. Am told to color my hair. Fine, would he like to pay for it and constant upkeep?
Figured since I believe in Destiny, if its meant to be I have warmth, friendship, communication with a man at my age then it will occur.
Meanwhile, I don’t hold my breath.
The beauty of friendship between a man and woman is that it could lead anywhere, or it could just remain a beautiful friendship. Who doesn’t need friends? But if friends become lovers and it doesn’t destroy what they had, what could be better? That’s the best of both worlds!
I find her male friend’s ideas a bit outdated and maybe a bit unaware of what is going on out there. There are men out there who still will give women of a mature age some attention but she might need to widen her pool of men. Younger men or men who wouldn’t normally be her type or whatever it takes to widen her pool. At 62 a younger man would most likely be a man in his 50s. Men want women who are still interested in sex too. It a plus.
Not everyone has to accept or be in step with current trends. We don’t all have the same values. Some people even still HAVE values, despite ‘what’s going on out there,’ much of which I want nothing to do with. As we don’t “live by bread alone,” neither do humans live by sex alone, which separates us from animals.
I hear you, Joyce. I also find, sadly, that men are more superficial and shallow than we are. We are more likely than they are as women to accept a belly that hangs over a belt, jowls, a receding hairline, weakness, a slow gait, you name it. But we must look forever 21.
They really don’t care if we are intelligent; just that we’re open to sex. That sounds terrible and isn’t true of all men. But unfortunately, those who aren’t that way aren’t the ones out there looking, it seems. They aren’t the ones who won’t give a woman who has a mind and is a great conversationalist the time of day. The men who have depth, values, patience, and are willing to give friendship a try before intimacy, are taken.
Many people are of the view that because we’re of a certain age that we don’t have the luxury of time, that we’re supposed to live our golden years for pleasure. Spiritually speaking, I believe that’s a mistake. There are principles I held to in my youth that I don’t believe now is the time to let go. Speaking personally, at my age (though one can die at any time regardless of age), I wouldn’t want to meet my Maker (depending on whether one believes, as I do, in a God that demand that we comport ourselves in certain ways) when I’ve been behaving like a 14-year-old in heat. I’d rather just age gracefully, alone if need be, than submit to the desires of men who are out for immediate pleasure, not something substantive and durable.
I totally agree with you and have had men only flat out ask me for sex or describe what they’d like to do to me in bed. I’ve also been ghosted three times after barely getting two sentences in when texting with those men. I guess someone else’s photo must have suddenly appealed to them more. I’ve also had three scammers try to get money out of me after lying about themselves, I cringe when thinking about these experiences and wish it was like it was back in the early 80’s when men didn’t mind going out and buying you a drink. I can’t stand being treated like an online hooker!
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0 events,
13 events,
Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Cloud Storage
Cloud Storage
Learn the basics of cloud storage — a technology that lets you store documents, images, and other media files remotely.
Fit Fusion Workout
Fit Fusion Workout
Get your heart pumping during this fun, high-energy workout!
Mobile Health Apps
Mobile Health Apps
This lecture introduces common health apps, like the iPhone's built-in app and the Google Fit app.
Open Discussion – Lunch & Learn
Open Discussion – Lunch & Learn
Join this discussion group to connect with Senior Planet participants from all over the country!
16 events,
28
Stronger Bones
Stronger Bones
Activate the joints and muscles and increase mental focus during this exercise class.
Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Gardening Tech At a Glance
Gardening Tech At a Glance
Can tech give you a green thumb? Come to this lecture to find out!
Chair Yoga
Chair Yoga
Follow various cues to develop body alignment and breath awareness.
MyChart
MyChart
Learn how MyChart can help you keep all your health information in one place, communicate with your providers, and have a virtual visit.
12 events,
29
Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Discover Live: Holiday Tour in Paris, France
Discover Live: Holiday Tour in Paris, France
Join Senior Planet and our tour guides from Discover Live for a special holiday tour in Paris, France!
Fit Fusion Workout
Fit Fusion Workout
Get your heart pumping during this fun, high-energy workout!
虛擬博物館導覽
虛擬博物館導覽
在家中舒適地參觀世界著名的博物館!
Messaging Apps
Messaging Apps
This lecture will go over the features of three widely-used apps: iMessages, Hangouts, and WhatsApp.
16 events,
30
Balance/Strength
Balance/Strength
Activate the joints and muscles to become limber and increase balance during this exercise class.
Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Smartphone Camera Uses Beyond Photography
Smartphone Camera Uses Beyond Photography
Come learn about QR codes, augmented reality apps, and more!
Money Matters
Money Matters
This lecture introduces online banking and goes over how to keep your financial information safe.
Mandarin Multilingual Technology Program: 行動健康應用程式 (Mobile Health Apps)
Mandarin Multilingual Technology Program: 行動健康應用程式 (Mobile Health Apps)
來聽聽看市面上一些受歡迎的健康應用程式的簡介。
9 events,
1
Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Introduction to Estate Planning Resources & Tools
Introduction to Estate Planning Resources & Tools
A simple plan is better than no plan! Get to know a few free and low-cost resources that make it simple to plan your estate.
Taijiquan (Tai Chi)
Taijiquan (Tai Chi)
Relax your mind and strengthen your body with this gentle exercise class.
Internet of Things: Healthcare
Internet of Things: Healthcare
Come learn how the medical industry is embracing the Internet of Things (IoT) technology to treat patients remotely.
Aging Discussion Group – Lunch & Learn
Aging Discussion Group – Lunch & Learn
Join this Aging Discussion Group to have open conversations about aging.
0 events,
2
0 events,
3
12 events,
4
Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Intro to Translation Tools
Intro to Translation Tools
This lecture will introduce digital translation tools and apps, such as Google Translate.
Fit Fusion Workout
Fit Fusion Workout
Get your heart pumping during this fun, high-energy workout!
Affordable Home Internet
Affordable Home Internet
This lecture goes over basic information you need to know when signing up for home internet service.
Open Discussion – Lunch & Learn
Open Discussion – Lunch & Learn
Join this discussion group to connect with Senior Planet participants from all over the country!
15 events,
5
Stronger Bones
Stronger Bones
Activate the joints and muscles and increase mental focus during this exercise class.
Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Protecting Your Personal Info Online
Protecting Your Personal Info Online
Learn how to stay safe while you surf the web!
Chair Yoga
Chair Yoga
Follow various cues to develop body alignment and breath awareness.
Introduction to A.I.
Introduction to A.I.
Come chat with ChatGPT and learn about A.I.!
13 events,
6
Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Discover Live: Cusco, Peru
Discover Live: Cusco, Peru
Join Senior Planet and our tour guides from Discover Live for a virtual visit to Cusco, Peru!
Fit Fusion Workout
Fit Fusion Workout
Get your heart pumping during this fun, high-energy workout!
關於 Zoom 的一切
關於 Zoom 的一切
了解如何使用 Zoom 與家人朋友聊天以及參與 Senior Planet 線上學習!
Digital Coupon Tools
Digital Coupon Tools
Learn how digital coupon tools can help you save money!
15 events,
7
Balance/Strength
Balance/Strength
Activate the joints and muscles to become limber and increase balance during this exercise class.
Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Intro to X (formerly Twitter)
Intro to X (formerly Twitter)
Like to know what's happening? Come learn about X (formerly Twitter)!
Fitness Apps
Fitness Apps
Learn how fitness apps can help you track and conquer your goals!
Chair Yoga
Chair Yoga
Follow various cues to develop body alignment and breath awareness.
9 events,
8
Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Introduction to Booking Vacation Stays Online
Introduction to Booking Vacation Stays Online
Need a vacation? Learn about popular websites and apps for booking vacation rentals.
Taijiquan (Tai Chi)
Taijiquan (Tai Chi)
Relax your mind and strengthen your body with this gentle exercise class.
Introduction to Digital Wallets
Introduction to Digital Wallets
You CAN leave home without your wallet! Learn about popular digital wallets and their many uses.
Aging Discussion Group – Lunch & Learn
Aging Discussion Group – Lunch & Learn
Join this Aging Discussion Group to have open conversations about aging.
0 events,
9
0 events,
10
12 events,
11
Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Mobile Health Apps
Mobile Health Apps
This lecture introduces common health apps, like the iPhone's built-in app and the Google Fit app.
Fit Fusion Workout
Fit Fusion Workout
Get your heart pumping during this fun, high-energy workout!
Intro to Managing Your Privacy
Intro to Managing Your Privacy
Concerned about privacy? Unsure about accepting cookies? Come learn about some essential privacy tips!
Open Discussion – Lunch & Learn
Open Discussion – Lunch & Learn
Join this discussion group to connect with Senior Planet participants from all over the country!
15 events,
12
Stronger Bones
Stronger Bones
Activate the joints and muscles and increase mental focus during this exercise class.
Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Smartphones at a Glance
Smartphones at a Glance
How smart are they? We'll tell you all about smartphones.
Chair Yoga
Chair Yoga
Follow various cues to develop body alignment and breath awareness.
Instagram Basics
Instagram Basics
This lecture offers an overview of some of Instagram's more popular features and will give you a taste for what all the fuss is about.
11 events,
13
Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Online Shopping
Online Shopping
This lecture will provide a general introduction to shopping online using the popular website Amazon.com.
介紹: 擔任 Zoom 視訊會議主持人
介紹: 擔任 Zoom 視訊會議主持人
我們將討論如何準備首次會議,以及成功舉辦會議的技巧。
Fit Fusion Workout
Fit Fusion Workout
Get your heart pumping during this fun, high-energy workout!
Food Delivery Apps
Food Delivery Apps
Learn about the pros and cons, how to search for new restaurants, and how to leave a tip and rating.
16 events,
14
Balance/Strength
Balance/Strength
Activate the joints and muscles to become limber and increase balance during this exercise class.
Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Tips for Being News Savvy Online
Tips for Being News Savvy Online
Sharing the news? Learn to read and check sources before sharing!
Chair Yoga
Chair Yoga
Follow various cues to develop body alignment and breath awareness.
Intro to Gaming
Intro to Gaming
Game on! Come discover the world of gaming and start playing!
7 events,
15
Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Taijiquan (Tai Chi)
Taijiquan (Tai Chi)
Relax your mind and strengthen your body with this gentle exercise class.
eBay & PayPal
eBay & PayPal
This lecture provides an overview of the popular auction website eBay and the pioneer online payment service PayPal.
Aging Discussion Group – Lunch & Learn
Aging Discussion Group – Lunch & Learn
Join this Aging Discussion Group to have open conversations about aging.
Tech Talk: Android Smartphones
Tech Talk: Android Smartphones
Have questions about your Android smartphone?
0 events,
16
0 events,
17
12 events,
18
Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Telemedicine
Telemedicine
This lecture provides an overview of telemedicine options and focuses on exploring virtual medical appointments with your doctor in real-time.
Fit Fusion Workout
Fit Fusion Workout
Get your heart pumping during this fun, high-energy workout!
Intro to Translation Tools
Intro to Translation Tools
This lecture will introduce digital translation tools and apps, such as Google Translate.
Open Discussion – Lunch & Learn
Open Discussion – Lunch & Learn
Join this discussion group to connect with Senior Planet participants from all over the country!
15 events,
19
Stronger Bones
Stronger Bones
Activate the joints and muscles and increase mental focus during this exercise class.
Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
All Things Zoom
All Things Zoom
This lecture will go over how to use Zoom to chat with friends & family, and take virtual classes with Senior Planet!
Chair Yoga
Chair Yoga
Follow various cues to develop body alignment and breath awareness.
Facebook
Facebook
Facebook can be a great way to connect with old friends, share life updates, and join social groups. Learn more about the popular platform.
11 events,
20
Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
物聯網 : 生活方式和娛樂
物聯網 : 生活方式和娛樂
本講座將探討我們日常與物聯網交互的多種方式,並了解它如何徹底改變整個行業。
Fit Fusion Workout
Fit Fusion Workout
Get your heart pumping during this fun, high-energy workout!
Digital Legacy at a Glance
Digital Legacy at a Glance
Will your digital content and social media pages live on forever? Come learn about your digital legacy options!
Easy-to-Follow Tai Chi
Easy-to-Follow Tai Chi
Move, breathe and flow during this gentle, slow, flowing form of exercise
15 events,
21
Balance/Strength
Balance/Strength
Activate the joints and muscles to become limber and increase balance during this exercise class.
Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Crowdfunding for a Cause
Crowdfunding for a Cause
This lecture will give an overview of donation-based crowdfunding and explore two popular platforms used by individuals and nonprofits to raise money: GoFundMe and Facebook Fundraisers.
Understanding Bluetooth
Understanding Bluetooth
We’ll explain Bluetooth technology, how it works, and the way it impacts everyday life.
Mandarin Multilingual Technology Program: 「如何選取一台新電腦」開放問答室 (How to Choose a New Computer Open Lab)
Mandarin Multilingual Technology Program: 「如何選取一台新電腦」開放問答室 (How to Choose a New Computer Open Lab)
這堂開放討論活動適於解答您聆聽過關於「如何選取一台新電腦」 講座中的疑惑。
8 events,
22
Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Using Google Docs Templates for Resumes
Using Google Docs Templates for Resumes
Don't worry about formatting your resume. Let the templates do the work for you!
Taijiquan (Tai Chi)
Taijiquan (Tai Chi)
Relax your mind and strengthen your body with this gentle exercise class.
Drones
Drones
Learn why more and more drones are taking to the skies!
Aging Discussion Group – Lunch & Learn
Aging Discussion Group – Lunch & Learn
Join this Aging Discussion Group to have open conversations about aging.
0 events,
23
0 events,
24
0 events,
25
14 events,
26
Stronger Bones
Stronger Bones
Activate the joints and muscles and increase mental focus during this exercise class.
Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Online Health Resources
Online Health Resources
Learn how to evaluate health-related information online.
Chair Yoga
Chair Yoga
Follow various cues to develop body alignment and breath awareness.
Smartphones at a Glance
Smartphones at a Glance
How smart are they? We'll tell you all about smartphones.
12 events,
27
Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
MyChart
MyChart
Learn how MyChart can help you keep all your health information in one place, communicate with your providers, and have a virtual visit.
Fit Fusion Workout
Fit Fusion Workout
Get your heart pumping during this fun, high-energy workout!
實惠家用網路
實惠家用網路
了解負擔得起的家用網路的選擇
#AgeFriendly
#AgeFriendly
In this lecture, you’ll learn about the World Health Organization's eight elements of an age-friendly city and what makes a business age friendly.
14 events,
28
Balance/Strength
Balance/Strength
Activate the joints and muscles to become limber and increase balance during this exercise class.
Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Intro to Managing Your Privacy
Intro to Managing Your Privacy
Concerned about privacy? Unsure about accepting cookies? Come learn about some essential privacy tips!
Voice Assistants
Voice Assistants
Learn about the many devices, current uses, and future implications of this exciting technology.
Chair Yoga
Chair Yoga
Follow various cues to develop body alignment and breath awareness.
8 events,
29
Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Virtual Activism Against Racism and Police Brutality
Virtual Activism Against Racism and Police Brutality
Learn about tools to help you be a part of the movement and support racial justice!
Taijiquan (Tai Chi)
Taijiquan (Tai Chi)
Relax your mind and strengthen your body with this gentle exercise class.
Internet of Things: Entertainment
Internet of Things: Entertainment
This lecture will explore the many ways we interact with IoT on a day-to-day basis and take a look at how it’s revolutionizing entire industries.
Aging Discussion Group – Lunch & Learn
Aging Discussion Group – Lunch & Learn
Join this Aging Discussion Group to have open conversations about aging.
0 events,
30
0 events,
31
0 events,
1
0 events,
2
0 events,
3
0 events,
4
0 events,
5
0 events,
6
Morning Stretch
Cloud Storage
Fit Fusion Workout
Mobile Health Apps
Open Discussion – Lunch & Learn
Stronger Bones
Morning Stretch
Gardening Tech At a Glance
Chair Yoga
MyChart
Morning Stretch
Discover Live: Holiday Tour in Paris, France
Fit Fusion Workout
虛擬博物館導覽
Messaging Apps
Balance/Strength
Morning Stretch
Smartphone Camera Uses Beyond Photography
Money Matters
Mandarin Multilingual Technology Program: 行動健康應用程式 (Mobile Health Apps)
Morning Stretch
Introduction to Estate Planning Resources & Tools
Taijiquan (Tai Chi)
Internet of Things: Healthcare
Aging Discussion Group – Lunch & Learn
Morning Stretch
Intro to Translation Tools
Fit Fusion Workout
Affordable Home Internet
Open Discussion – Lunch & Learn
Stronger Bones
Morning Stretch
Protecting Your Personal Info Online
Chair Yoga
Introduction to A.I.
Morning Stretch
Discover Live: Cusco, Peru
Fit Fusion Workout
關於 Zoom 的一切
Digital Coupon Tools
Balance/Strength
Morning Stretch
Intro to X (formerly Twitter)
Fitness Apps
Chair Yoga
Morning Stretch
Introduction to Booking Vacation Stays Online
Taijiquan (Tai Chi)
Introduction to Digital Wallets
Aging Discussion Group – Lunch & Learn
Morning Stretch
Mobile Health Apps
Fit Fusion Workout
Intro to Managing Your Privacy
Open Discussion – Lunch & Learn
Stronger Bones
Morning Stretch
Smartphones at a Glance
Chair Yoga
Instagram Basics
Morning Stretch
Online Shopping
介紹: 擔任 Zoom 視訊會議主持人
Fit Fusion Workout
Food Delivery Apps
Balance/Strength
Morning Stretch
Tips for Being News Savvy Online
Chair Yoga
Intro to Gaming
Morning Stretch
Taijiquan (Tai Chi)
eBay & PayPal
Aging Discussion Group – Lunch & Learn
Tech Talk: Android Smartphones
Morning Stretch
Telemedicine
Fit Fusion Workout
Intro to Translation Tools
Open Discussion – Lunch & Learn
Stronger Bones
Morning Stretch
All Things Zoom
Chair Yoga
Facebook
Morning Stretch
物聯網 : 生活方式和娛樂
Fit Fusion Workout
Digital Legacy at a Glance
Easy-to-Follow Tai Chi
Balance/Strength
Morning Stretch
Crowdfunding for a Cause
Understanding Bluetooth
Mandarin Multilingual Technology Program: 「如何選取一台新電腦」開放問答室 (How to Choose a New Computer Open Lab)
Morning Stretch
Using Google Docs Templates for Resumes
Taijiquan (Tai Chi)
Drones
Aging Discussion Group – Lunch & Learn
Stronger Bones
Morning Stretch
Online Health Resources
Chair Yoga
Smartphones at a Glance
Morning Stretch
MyChart
Fit Fusion Workout
實惠家用網路
#AgeFriendly
Balance/Strength
Morning Stretch
Intro to Managing Your Privacy
Voice Assistants
Chair Yoga
Morning Stretch
Virtual Activism Against Racism and Police Brutality
Taijiquan (Tai Chi)
Internet of Things: Entertainment
Aging Discussion Group – Lunch & Learn
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