Sleeves for Older Women: Must We Really?
Jane Fonda recently bemoaned her supposed batwings on “Grace and Frankie” by wiggling her underarms back and forth, pretending they actually had fat on them. She’s in her 70s, and they barely moved. I’ll bet that if she actually did have underarm flab, she wouldn’t have been showing it off.
Like gray hair, flabby or wrinkled upper arms are one of the signs of age that women think they have to cover up — but plenty of women who’ve chosen to reveal the gray still hide those arms.
The question is, should we? By covering up, aren’t we buying into someone else’s definition of what’s unattractive — or trying to “pass”?
Some bold older women are all for covering up. Take Iris Apfel, the famous “geriatric” style icon who in 2015 told the Guardian:
“I think when you’re paying $15,000 for a dress you’re entitled to a pair of sleeves. It makes me crazy. Because everybody knows that older women, no matter how much of a jock you are, you look like a horse’s arse in a strappy dress. And that is not appropriate.”
I have never had slim, toned upper arms. Or actually slim, toned anything. As a young woman I made sure to wear at least elbow length sleeves to cover up my marbled biceps. When I hit menopause I got hotter and sweatier, and long sleeves just didn’t cut it on hot days. So I compromised and started wearing short sleeves. Bowing to comfort before modesty, I’ve stuck to short sleeves into my 70s. Not sleeveless, mind you.
The truth is, I am ambivalent about showing any part of my upper arms. I find myself paying close attention to the sleeves of the aging stars on the red carpet. The View’s sleek and fashionable Joy Behar, 73, always wears sleeves. Helen Mirren, 70, finds glamorous low cut gowns that cover her upper arms. Judy Dench, 81, is known for her flowing long-sleeved red carpet gowns. Susan Sarandon, 69, just scandalized the fashion press by wearing a low cut bra with a plunging-necking suit jacket to the SAG awards. She got to be sexy and trendy without baring her arms. Go Susan!!
But what about the rest of us? I admire a Florida friend who is pushing 70, has chubby arms and always goes sleeveless in her fashionable flowing outfits. She has a flamboyant personality, and her bare arms are part of her persona.
And then there’s Aretha!
I wish I were as brave. How about you? Are you brave enough to show your upper arms? Or do you just not agree with the whole bare-it idea?
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Comments
I always used to wear sleeves, but in 2016 at age 62, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I had a bilateral mastectomy and no reconstruction. Since then, I prefer sleeveless. My arms, although imperfect, look better bare and sleeveless gives the illusion of longer and slender. I also prefer v necks, these days. I have decided that I like myself and I don’t think most people you meet actually see you anyway. No more tan line is a good thing!
I’m 81 and just in the past couple of years don’t like my arms in short sleeves. I’ve always used weights and worked out but haven’t in the last few years. I don’t like me in short sleeves but my twin is worst and wears them. She says she doesn’t care. I feel better with 3/4 or long sleeves. That’s my choice.
I like tulip sleeves but they are hard to find
Speaking as a man, I love womens’ arms, all ages and sizes. To me, the reason for elbow sleeves or short sleeves is not to cover up, it is to accentuate. Just as a short dress or lingerie may be sexier than plain nudity. Arms and especially the elbows are a critical but oft-overlooked aspect of “erotic capital”. Regardless of your flab or plumpness, believe me, some men are finding you extremely desirable. Public service message.
Women who are 60 (or plus) and dress like they are 30 look ridiculous– let’s face it: we’re NOT that age any longer!! I see other females my age (67) or younger wearing shorts that are too short, tights (when it’s clear they are not exercisers!!) , sleeveless tops & dresses and most of these women are not even FIT!! Not bragging but although I’m petite and slim (at 109 lbs. I watch my eating habits, exercise and wear a size 4P) I don’t like to expose all the body parts and that includes low cut tops. Even if you are in shape the skin texture really deteriorates after a certain age.
A lot of women think men love, love, love seeing women with their breasts practically spilling out or pants so tight they can hardly walk but, quite frankly, if that’s all a guy is interested in then why would you even want to bother with him?? Thank goodness my husband is handsome, funny, articulate and smart as well as savvy. I dress for me and am stylish but he always appreciates how I look. Ladies, start dressing “age appropriate”– your kids don’t think you’re cool dressing like them, they think you’re silly!
I’ll never dress old. When I turned 60, I reinvented myself, lost 50 lbs and have a beautiful, fun, classy wardrobe. Lots of women our age do. Check out youtube street fashion and Pinterest fashion. You’ll see women our age can wear almost anything a 30 yr old can wear, just tweak it to what looks great on you! ♡☆♡
Having fun with fashion isn’t just for the young. Most fashion trends are fine for any age. Pinterest is my go-to for fashion inspiration and style choices of celebrity women my age I admire.
So wearing a sleeveless top or dress is not age appropriate?? I envy women who do. I am always ‘hiding’ my wrinkly upper arms, and am so annoyed at myself for giving a sh*t.
age appropiate i am shocked that this is still so common in australia now in 2023 this age appropoate thing. It sounds like school we are young girls back at school sorry but the kind of styles here directed to women over 65 are frumpy floppy tops to elbows
is pregnant women are now ‘permitted’ to wear tight over babe to be and larger women in their twenties and thirties do likewise it seems to me that older women should have that privilegewhat happened to simple elegance
Believe it or not, some women (increasing in numbers all the time) do not dress for the male gaze. You say you “dress for yourself’, but you actually look at yourself through the male gaze, it’s a filter so embedded in you that you aren’t even aware of it.
Some of us do not identify ourself in such a base, reductive way, to hide or display our bodies depending on what “men” think. I for one don’t care at all if you’re petite and dress “appropriately” and have sexy husband, or if you are fat and single.
A husband, or any man, cannot add or detract from a woman, nor can her physical body, she is whole and complete and wonderful, no matter what size or fitness level or if her skin has age spots or wrinkles, or who she is romantically attached to.
To believe otherwise is to reduce yourself to a level no woman should ever desire, even if other people would rather you look at yourself so reductively, if only because they feel so much more comfortable when you realize your place.
My god, if 67 is not an age to put that nonsense down, when is it??? I’m far younger than you and I put it down years ago, it’s fantastic!!!
You can only speak for yourself. If an older woman likes to wear sleeveless tops and tight pants etc, that’s her prerogative. It’s what she thinks about her looks, not what you or others try to make her feel. If you feel that you have a monopoly on how women should dress, keep it to yourself, we don’t care to hear about it.
I very thin built! I either wear long or 3/4 sleeves! Never the caps sleeves! I wish these company who make all the summers flowers and lace shirts, would at least 3/4 sleeves like the regular ones! There are several brand names at Wal-mart that make these pretty shirts, but no 3/4 ones! Anyway, summer shirts are light laterite long sleeves shirts!
You know what’s funny? Thinking other people don’t want to see our crinkly upper arms! I never minded seeing them on other people, did you? Ever, in your whole life? I still don’t. I have always NOTICED wrinkles and sags etc. on people but I guess I just don’t mind. It is just a part of life.
I am 73 and my age is obvious even if I have long sleeves on. When hot weather comes, I go sleeveless and I go swimming. Thank God I still can. I can’t cover up ALL the signs of old age….why make jiggly upper arms such a big deal?
I bet not one single woman on her deathbed ever said “Well at least I never exposed my crinkly upper arms to anyone.”
Yes! So true! I remember loving how older women dressed up in pretty dresses at church in summer when I was young. I thought their exposed arms and legs just went with their beautiful older faces. Fact is, fashion is for everyone, and even some 90 year old women can have better fashion sense, trends and all, than some 20, 30 and 40 year olds.
Right on Sista!!!!