Senior House Sharing Is on the Rise
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Blanche, Rose, Dorothy and Sophia. Do these names sound familiar? They’re the characters from the hit TV comedy The Golden Girls whose adventures we enjoyed 30 years ago. Well, the time for older women (and men) to share a house with roommates has come again, but this time in real life.
According to projections by the Joint Center for Housing Studies, the number of people over the age of 75 living alone is set to nearly double—from 6.9 million in 2015 to 13.4 million in 2035. Many seniors will have limited financial resources for housing, and women will make up nearly 75 percent of this group.
That’s just one reason why house sharing among older people is on the rise.
The Upside to Having a Housemate
The biggest advantage to house sharing is cost-sharing. If you have one housemate paying half of your rent or 50 percent of the costs of home ownership, your Social Security check will go that much further. Likewise, if your rent is getting too high, you can opt to move into someone else’s house. But besides cost sharing, there are other benefits, too.
Help. If you need help at home as well as extra income, you can opt for a bartering arrangement— reduced rent for services provided by a roommate, such as yard work, shopping or transportation. If you’re healthy and fit, you can take advantage of this type of low-rent arrangement.
Companionship. Whether you’re sharing your own house or moving into someone else’s, house sharing can decrease your cost of living; it can also help you guard against loneliness. It’s nice to come home, open the door and have someone say, ‘How was your day?’ Even if roommates are off in their rooms, you know that someone else is in the house or will be walking in the door soon. Each living situation is different, and sharing runs the gamut from housemates who become friends and socialize to others who have more of a landlord-tenant relationship. It depends on personal preferences, daily schedules and personalities. But even more distant roomies usually tend to get together for a potluck meal on a fairly regular basis.
Health & Safety. We laugh at the TV commercial, but living with a roommate can mitigate the “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” scenario. Roommates not only help each other through medical crises, they also notice smaller physical changes in each other and can step up. Debra DeWitz, a retired social worker who has several roommates, calls it “sharegiving,” that extra support that roommates naturally give each other, often in ways they couldn’t anticipate when they first met.
How to Find a Housemate
It can take anywhere from a month to two or three to find a housemate, depending on how flexible you’re willing to be with your personal criteria and geographic radii.
Here are two sites that match older people who want to share.
Senior HomeShares
This is a national, free online matching database. Founder and CEO Stephanie Heacox realized the need for her service several years ago when she and her sisters were long-distance caregivers for their mother who could no longer live alone.
Launched in 2015, the site currently has more than 600 members ranging in age from their 50s through early 90s, with the majority in their mid to late 60s. The site’s users are 60 percent women and 40 percent men.
The business uses a matching system modeled on online dating sites. Plus, it offers some user-friendly features to help those who are not experienced or comfortable searching for a roommate online, including the option to add a “helper” for your account—a family member or friend who becomes a co-user and can assist in filling out the profile, and who you can designate to receive copies of all “match” emails. Customer service is by phone, email and/or live chat, and is staffed by people 55 and older.
Silvernest
This newcomer charges a fee to homeowners (renters can use the service too), but your search is free if you’re looking to move into someone’s house. Like Senior HomeShares, the site uses a matching tool to find compatible housemates. The service verifies users by checking ID and for homeowners, it will provide background checks of potential housemates (people looking to rent a room pay a fee for a background check if the homeowner requests one). Silvernest can also draw up leases and collect rents. Because the service is fairly new, it hasn’t expanded across the country yet. Top locations are in Colorado, California and Florida.
Regional Homeshare Programs
Some local programs exist that do all the heavy-lifting for you. An example is HomeShareVermont that’s been in business since 1982. The nonprofit charges a one-time match fee ranging from $60 to $500, based on income. After you submit your application, the program’s staff interview you in person, do five background checks, find potential matches and help both parties with a Match Agreement. The program offers continuing support if issues arise.
What Makes for a Good Match?
Successful roommates are flexible and willing to compromise. Being able to discuss issues, large or small, is key. Keeping a positive attitude and starting from the mindset that “this is going to work” encourages smooth living arrangements.
On the flip side, not everybody is fun to live with, Heacox says. You might run into a few interpersonal issues with roommates and ask a roommate who isn’t working out to move…like a roommate who decides to rearrange the kitchen and clean out the drawers.
And while companionship is often a big plus of house sharing, friendship with roommates can become a bit murky.
Explore More Resources
The National Shared Housing Resource Center is a clearinghouse that provides information, referrals to local agencies, programs and guidelines on finding a housemate. The site offers a book, “Consumer’s Guide to Home Sharing” ($10). A written manual and guide for house sharers are also available for purchase.
This AARP article has two helpful sidebars: “What to Look for in a Housemate” and “Home Sharing Do’s and Dont’s.”
Nolo, a DIY legal site, has an article with an overview about how homeshare programs work, the benefits and how to find them.
Common sense procedures for online safety during a roommate search are available via Senior HomeShares here.
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Comments
Is anyone here or know by anyone in search of or looking for home shares in central or south central Indiana? There seems to be no organized for-or-not-for-profit organizations. Best, Jim M.
Hi im Dave, 66 yr old, in beautiful Minnesota looking for a houseshare , roommate, etc. lover of outdoors, simple things, walks, exploring.
AARP/SP please update 2017 article! I hope everyone for 2021 goes online, find current blogs/info. I found huge local district/city libraries resources/links online. Youtube info videos for multigenerational groups. Cool.
Hi I am 61years old have lost my partner. I have a huge clean home and would love to find a senior lady to share my home with, maybe even room and board for very lite house work. I really just hate living alone I live in north central kansas in a country setting. Peaceful and safe, you would have your own every thing, let’s talk.
Hello, Im Beth, just started checking out
“home shares”, and saw your add.
I’m a senior, same as you. Omen grown daughter,works for large corp, my son in law as well. I’m divorced,” never going there” againe.
I come from medical field, I’m basically retired,I’m probably work part time, to keep my sanity .I’m in an apartment lease till Aug/1’st, so looking to share a house.
I’m a gormet cook ” in my head”, I’m a neat freak, love animals,plants, I’m an advet walker.
Iv to never smoked, still don’t, I like having a conversation bought what’s going on in the world, but not a TV magnet. So if your still looking for someone to share your residence
let me know.
Hi John, I have never been to Kansas. How cold is it in the winter and how warm is it the in the summer? What is the ethnicity population in your town?
Hi, my name is Barb/Barbara. I answer to both. I’m just learning about senior homesharing, and the more i read, the more i think this is for me. I’m 66, still way more active than most people 10 years younger than me. I live in Texas. My husband died 10 years ago, and at first i enjoyed my personal freedom. Lately, I have been liking it less and less every day. I was telling my daughter a few days ago that i would love to find some of the many relatives i have, but never met, and Kansas is where many are. Some things about me: i am a cancer survivor, a scuba diver, i love the outdoors, like to be barefoot, non-smoker, non-drinker, and i have a dog named Luna. I still mow my own yard, trim trees, rake leaves, and I’m almost finished painting the outside of my house so i can put it on the market. I moved to a small town 5 years ago and so many people have moved here, its getting too crowded too quickly.
I am looking for a housemate. I am a 84 year old widowed male. Live on a lake in upstate New York State. Been living alone for 6 years and don’t like it. Have an upstairs that has a small room that could be your bedroom and a larger room that could be your living room. Also has a bathroom. The house would be totally available to you. Help would be needed to keep the house. Rent could be worked out.