Open Thread Update: What’s Your Third Place?

Last time we considered the joys of ‘third place” – those spots outside of work or home where we can meet others and socialize. One commenter seems to have it all together:

I have two “3rd places”—one face-to-face and the other virtual. The former is a line dance class that meets twice a week in a fitness center [and the class is taught by none other than Senior Planet’s, Joan Price!]. The virtual place is a high intellectual level book club that meets on Zoom three or four times per month to discuss prize-winning novels and outstanding short stories. Both of these help avoid loneliness for this 81 year old widower.

-Mac M. 

Houses of Worship

Churches and synagogues rated highly among our folks for spiritual and social nourishment according to Readers Deborah, Elly and Wendl:

My third place is my synagogue, where, like “Cheers”, everyone, or nearly everyone, knows my name. I feel seen and heard there, and often meet new people while mingling with old friends, as we share cultural, culinary, intellectual, and religious activities.

-Deborah

Bars, Cafes and Pets

Readers like Linda, and Tiff. S favor bars and diners – Tiff is a Karaoke fan! – and pet owners like Nan and Oliver have a leg up on socializing – literally.

Walking the neighborhood with our dog is our Third Place. Everyone here walks! We celebrated with a November potluck desserts and cocoa on the driveway affair. Add to that our church (where coffeehour is our fellowship) as well as our local, neighborhood library which is within dog-walking distance and territory, and we have a tight and caring community.

-Oliver

Thinking outside the box

Many readers mentioned book clubs, the gym and the library as their Third Place.  Senior Planet contributor Kate Walter offers a creative choice:

My third place is my weekly singing group, which meets every Friday. I’ve been a member for eight years. I love singing, and I’ve made new friends.
When we met on Valentine’s Day, we sang love songs from The Beatles to Bacharach and then after the workshop ended, we had cake and wine.

The bottom line is that there are lots of options for folks looking for a place where people know your name and share your interests – as long as you are willing to take a chance, dive in, and take part.  It will take more than once, but it’s worth it.

ORIGINAL COLUMN

Let’s have some love for the third place.

This has nothing to do with the Olympics.  Instead, it’s a prescription for avoiding social isolation, which affects one older person in four.   According to The Great Good Place, people have a place at home and a place at work….but they need a “Third Place,” neither home nor work, where they can mingle with others freely.  (For more details, look here.)

Missing Gerry’s

Gerry’s Place was an Irish pub near my apartment.  It had big screen TVs good for watching baseball or football, and a great deal on Taco Tuesdays.  Maeve and Anthony and Keith were friendly bartenders who always asked what was new, and locals often stopped by to pass the time of day. Gerry would make the rounds daily, checking in with the regulars and greeting the newcomers. It was the Third Place for my fella and me.

Sadly, between crazy high rent and crazy development in my neighborhood, Gerry’s closed, and was replaced by a chain that put a bouncer by the door. The old bartenders are gone. We’re on the hunt for a new Third Place – there are a few trivia bars that look pretty good – and it got me thinking.

Maybe I”m showing my age, but I gotta have a comfortable seat, and a manageable noise level.  There’s a spot near my apartment called Little Darling that has a nice bartender but the folks are a bit too young for us and the noise level sometimes makes my ears hurt.  I’ll keep looking but in the meantime…

YOUR TURN

What’s your Third Place  – and why?  Is it virtual or IRL? Is it the Senior Planet walk in center or licensee near you (click on this link and find dozens of Senior Planet licensees to gather and learn at – all over the country). A coffee shop?  A nearby park? Let us know in the comments!

 

Virge Randall is Senior Planet’s Managing Editor. She is also a freelance culture reporter who seeks out hidden gems and unsung (or undersung) treasures for Straus Newspapers; her blog “Don’t Get Me Started” puts a quirky new spin on Old School New York City. Send  Open Thread suggestions to editor@seniorplanet.org.