Open Thread Update: Miss Manners?
Last time I described an incident on a flight with some treatment I considered highly disrespectful from a young man. According to some, I was a tad harsh in my assessment of him as a ‘creep.”
Others jumped on the bandwagon and added their own personal encounters with rudeness.
…the rude people that park their car at a gas pump and leave their vehicle to go inside the store to shop BEFORE and AFTER they pump gas. You are left waiting behind them until they come back to their vehicle with bags of food or other purchases for 10 minutes or more.-Cynthia
…and Reader Gary shared his disappointment after finding a lost wallet, walking it over to the address to return it and not a word of thanks. And don’t get Reader Celia started about grocery stores!
Thank you…Not!
If you can take the time to purchase gifts, certainly the ability to sit down for an hour and send out formal thank notes shouldn’t be a big deal.
-Sonja W.
If they don’t have time to reply and acknowledge, then I don’t have time to ever send a gift again.
-Linda R.
Reader Belinda described a much sunnier encounter…
In the food self -check out, making sure I get my receipt/card, off I go. Recently, a nice employee asked if I was alright, and came over. (Maybe an older person is a magnet for manners.) It’s a perk and I love it!
-Belinda
It says more about their state of mind, than their manners,. There could be all sorts of issues going on in their lives. I stopped judging and having expectations a while ago, my outlook is better, my interactions are better, and I am happier than I ever have been.
-Ann
We’ll keep the comments open for a while, so feel free o add your own experiences, good or bad, with manners in the public (or private) square. The column that started it all is below. See you next time!
Original column
Last time I was on a plane, I was settled in my customary seat on the aisle, and exchanged brief greetings with my seatmate in the middle seat. Flying is enough of a cattle car as it is; it’s only courtesy to acknowledge there is a person right next to you.
This young creep had the attitude that I was some sort of underling but not an actual human being.
I looked up at the crowd in the aisle looking for their seats, and I caught the eye of a youngish man in a baseball cap. Apparently he had the seat in my row near the window. I had to infer this because he only gave me a look and a nod at his seat.
No “Hi there, that’s my seat there.” No “Could you move for a minute?” I did not even rate the courtesy of a single word. This young creep had the attitude that I was some sort of underling but not an actual human being. I got up…slowly…and as he passed by I said, “Next time, use your words.”
Sadly, my comment probably went over his head and he spent the rest of the flight engrossed in something on his phone.
Don’t get me started about thank you notes!
I still fume when I think about it. Have we reached the Point of No Return in terms of manners? I’m not expecting protocols like we’re at the Court of St. James. But how about some simple, common courtesy – an acknowledgment that there are other humans who also count, even if it’s just a word?
And don’t get me started about thank you notes!
Your Turn
But that’s me. What about you? What was your bad manners ‘hot button’ event, trend or moment? Let us know in the comments!
Photo by Alexander Schimmeck on Unsplash
Virge Randall is Senior Planet’s Managing Editor. She is also a freelance culture reporter who seeks out hidden gems and unsung (or undersung) treasures for Straus Newspapers; her blog “Don’t Get Me Started” puts a quirky new spin on Old School New York City. Send Open Thread suggestions to editor@seniorplanet.org.
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Comments
Addressing a person who is considerably older (5+ yrs) than the addressee by his/her 1st name has always been a pet peeve of mind. I was taught that to do so was a sign of disrespect, yet, it seems to be the norm today.
I wholeheartedly agree with the comments regarding the “new normal” of not acknowledging gifts. My motive is the joy of giving. That said, the thank you note has morphed into the thank you text, I if I’m fortunate enough to receive one. While I no longer take their lack of response personally, I still struggle with feeling that it’s rude on the part of the recipient. It’s not like they don’t have their phones with them 24/7. So it comes down to what’s more important, giving or being thanked.
You will always be disappointed if you have unrealistic expectations. Stop judging, you will be happier.
That sounds like you have shopped at my local trader Joes’ in Brooklie,Ma.The “Clueless” capital of New England.It is really getting to be a proble,Also,as concerns dog owners leaving bags of poop all over the place.Beware folks,I’m taking screen shots and forwarding the to local PD/Health Dept.
Also,in my neighborhood of Brookline Ma there are quite a few who think they are not required to clean up their dog’s poop/let their dogs run free in park areas where there are kids/other pets that might be bothered by overly agressive dogs/also they don’t respond whenb you ask them(politely to please lease up your pet.So many liberties taken by the “Entitled Elite”.I’m sick of it.Tehey also whine/complain re: bike lanes,pro/con.Selfish/self absorbed/narssistic nincompoops,speaking of Poop lol!”