Open Thread Update: The Average Old Person

The last Open Thread on ‘The Average Old Person” really hit a chord for some people and for others, it hit a nerve.  What terrific observations and conversations in the comments!

What’s Average, Anyway?

Readers like Terrie and Kim  pointed out that ‘average’ is a very imprecise term, since we’re all individuals and what’s average to us may be exceptional to others.  Sandy lays it all out:

We’ve lived with labels all of our lives. It’s time to find inner peace and comfort with where you are. It’s time to find joy and spend more time doing what you love, with those you love. Not all of us are up for competition or to have a grand title or status…. ”Average” is what you are comfortable with… If it makes you happy, do it and enjoy this stage of life. You’ve earned it!

Average is awesome!

And many folks embraced the ‘average’ label, however it’s measured – and are having the time of their lives! Like Catherine, who enjoys the ‘genuine pleasure of a nightgown all day” or Sue…

I feel I finally reached the truly joyful years of my life. I don’t worry about my body type anymore… I’ve made it through two very serious, life-threatening surgeries, yet I’m still breathing. Just to wake up every morning, have a relaxing breakfast with my husband, and say “yes” and “no” to the things that come my way are precious. Average is simply wonderful!

Several readers like Bruce (who sounds like a guy totally down with the program, so enjoy those cookies, dude!), Laurie H. , ‘cookie and TV guy” Mike, gardener Adeline, Kim,   Jimmy and Mac, among others, shared their hobbies and routines and say “ Enjoy the Average!”

Most of us made sacrifices, worked to exhaustion raising families while working, put all others first. Now, after over fifty years of a high-stress career (and marriage) at 82 I consider these years my reward, a huge relief to have responsibility only to myself. I write a newspaper column, take zoom classes of Great Courses twice a week with great discussions among those of us in the class, garden in spite of a disability, and that’s enough. These are some of the best years of my life. -Meg

Great article! Not everyone wants to set the world on fire after busting butt in the working world for decades…-Nancy

Not all readers were happy with my take, though, like Reader Ce:

There’s no such thing as an average older person. Everyone is a complex individual with their unique journey that brought them to where they are now. Similarities exist along with our differences. I appreciate the need to create reader engagement, but I found the essay to be more annoying than engaging. Did you intend to include so many negative stereotypes? With so much more important things to discuss, I know you can do better.

Ouch.

On the Other Hand…

Thankfully most readers got the point, like Reader Cleta…

Well Virge, once again you’ve got us engaged and talking and I think that’s a good thing…

…and Vicky…

I totally get it, so glad there are people like me out there, thank you for the article Virge, couldn’t of said it myself.

..and Steven J. Berkowitz,  one of our Sponsored Athletes.

Virge: I really appreciate this perspective—and the honesty behind it. I strive to age with attitude, but for me that doesn’t always mean chasing the extraordinary or turning every year into a reinvention project….

Final word

I was surprised and touched by the bewildering (but gratifying!) number of readers who said things like this…

Virge, Have you read your brief bio that accompanies your Senior Planet column? Average my A..! (LOL) – MenaA

I’m touched and humbled by the comments from Jan, Kari, Susan and others who agreed (OMG, Kim, you made my year by saying ‘Virge is better than average”), but I promise you if you if you ever saw me  finishing a bag of Doritos and slacking on the vacuuming in favor of binge watching Fallout, you’d know I’m average, too.

I’m just lucky enough to be able to do what I love and be a spokesperson for my peeps –  older people with all our foibles, strengths, weaknesses, memories, occasional failures and moments of strength and courage. And when you look at it that way, there’s nothing average about any of us.

 

ORIGINAL COLUMN

I know we are all striving to live our best lives, but I must admit that I am getting inspiration fatigue.

All credit is due to the doers and creators, the folks who pick up Esperanto or start to compete in Ironman competitions at 60, learn to skydive at 70, who start businesses in their retirement and who become spokesmodels with huge Instagram followings.

It seems many general media articles about aging have a well-dressed, well-groomed, in-shape person who recently sold their company and now raises alpaca and sells the wool, or who crafts model ships in their garage workshop from reclaimed wood. All these folks look great at 70…and they probably looked great at 20, 30, 40, 50, and 60.

OTOH, I understand that the general media picks these folks in the same way location scouts for TV shows and movies select fabulous apartments or homes for their stories, regardless of income (unless being poor is a particular plot or character point).

Thing is, these older folks are real. And they drive me crazy sometimes.

HOW?

Don’t you wonder how they find the time…and the energy…and the money! for learning and doing these fantastic hobbies and stunts, the fitness and grooming routines? I do!

I’m an average old person. I’m 20 pounds overweight and the last of my muscle tone hit the road during Covid. Since then I’ve been losing and gaining the same four pounds every year. I fall off the wagon and eat a brownie – sue me. I miss a couple of days at the gym. Sometimes I don’t bother to work up a sweat. At the end of the day, sometimes I’m happy to sit down with the remote or the laptop and consume worthless, non-inspirational, non-informative junk TV, or videos of cats and dogs.

Most of the time I’m okay with that, but sometimes…with the fifth video about the 60 year old woman who started a skincare line or the 84 year old who completed an Ironman, I just want to say….

..let’s hear it for the average old people. We’re the meaty part of the bell curve. We’re the folks who binge watch trash TV, nap, sneak cookies, and hit the snooze button. We don’t read ‘improving’ books. We don’t start the day with a brisk walk.

And I’m perfectly OK with that. How about you?

YOUR TURN

What’s your Average Old Person story or claim to fame? Let us know in the comments!

 

Virge Randall is Senior Planet’s Managing Editor. She is also a freelance culture reporter who seeks out hidden gems and unsung (or undersung) treasures for Straus Newspapers; she writes frequently on Old School New York City and performs at open mic readings throughout New York City. Send Open Thread suggestions to editor@seniorplanet.org.