Open Thread: Unsolved Mysteries of Aging

Last time we opened with thoughts on the seemingly mysterious changes we experience as we age, especially physically. Readers Martha, R, Mary (“I thought I was the only one with unexplained aches”) Joanne, Vision and others all shared mysterious aches, pains and broken bones that come out of nowhere.

Reader Kim seems to have found the right balance:

Yes! Things start hurting for no reason. What’s with that? Luckily it doesn’t happen often and seems to go away as quickly as it came on. Most times anyways. At almost 70, I have found I need to be much more mindful of stretching and doing light exercise everyday rather than just jumping up and being active. Even my 15-30 minutes a day seems to be helping me. I have a lot more traveling I want to do so that keeps me going.

Me, too!

Seems like a lot of Senior Planet readers can relate, including Reader Claudia…:

I throughly enjoy your writings. I am turning 70 in Oct and am absolutely flummoxed by the changes in my body from just a couple of years ago!!! I am always looking for books, articles, etc on aging. We, collectively, are living longer and it seems different than what I remember of my mom. Or maybe I wasn’t paying attention.

Reader R adds “My mind will lie and tell me I am still 30, but my body will show up and hurt my feelings lol!!”

Reader Remedies

Reader Grace offers helpful tips…

The mystery of aging for me is: I never imagined I would be this ‘alive’ at 60. It’s not as bad as I thought it would be. I do stretch daily, read more than ever before, call or write friends more, love more because retirement and death seem to hold hands. I really want my life to count!

And Reader Carol shared her challenges with socialization, which many of us also have.  Besides Reader Grace’s suggestion (“the Loneliness Doctor on Instagram’), Reader Martha offers this:

You are not alone, I think a lot of us feel that way. I call my dearest, oldest friend or sometimes just attending some of the stretch classes offered by Senior Planet give me a bit of a sense of community. Hang in there!

Senior Planet Community has many interest groups you can join, and there’s Senior Planet’s Lunch and Learn Zoom sessions. Try them!

Ageism

No column about getting older would be complete without addressing the elephant in the room.  We’ve all encountered it, even in our safe spaces. 

I have been going to the same church for about 10 years. It is a very small church. I serve on the board for my second, 3 year term. This time all female board & all except me (72) are 40’s – 50’s. I was made to feel old for the first time. I am of the generation that was not born with a computer in my hands. It was inferred that I am not computer savvy, and retired. I am insulted, pissed, & miffed. I can’t vent anywhere. I’ll get over, I do think its funny. But not from one of my safe places.

-Nancy

Reader Di adds “Narrow-minded people who “other” us are definitely missing out on the possibility of delightful working relationships & friendships.”

Sadly,  ageism is becoming more and more mainstream…even in the editorial page of the New York Times with its Op-Ed titled “Older Americans are Hoarding American’s Potential.”  The author, a tenured professor in his 50’s, suggested compulsory retirement ages and taxing older homeowners extra so they’ll be forced to move from their paid off homes, among other repugnant schemes. He did not, in his writing, offer to live his truth by yielding his tenured status to a younger person. He might learn something by reading this book – but I doubt it.

Closing Thoughts

There’s much more to say and share on the mysteries of aging – I wish I had the answers for you but this is one of those things where we each need to find our own paths.  At least, unlike earlier generations and times, we have trusted friends, defenders and community with Senior Planet.

A note to reader Pat H. and others with hearing challenges – the Open thread for 5/17 deals with my own hearing challenges and includes a youtube video you may find helpful.

 

ORIGINAL COLUMN

Just because we’re not kids anymore doesn’t mean our lives aren’t full of wonder and mystery…of a different kind..

A gal I’ve known since high school (who moved to Georgia) had to bail, at the last minute, on a planned reunion lunch.  Why?  “I broke my foot,” she explained.   Linda is a gal with an active lifestyle and she’s a retired Full Commander in the US Navy Nurse Corps, so she knows a thing or two about staying healthy.

“How did that happen?” I asked, envisioning maybe her motorcycle falling on her during dismount.

“I was putting on a shoe” she said. ‘I stood up and twisted my ankle and it broke. It wasn’t a platform shoe or even heels.”

Ordinary life ain’t so ordinary anymore!

Like with my pal Linda, ordinary tasks and activities now carry consequences. Five years ago I bent over to put something in the dishwasher and POW, I was laid up for two weeks.  Two years ago, simply standing up and twisting to turn on a light in my kitchen gave me a stabbing pain so severe I screamed…and wet my pants. The first doctor wanted to get me in for back surgery, stat…but thank goodness I got a second opinion.  That doctor (I love you Dr. Beatty) took x-rays, told me I had a herniated disc and after some PT (which I still do) I’m sort of okay.  Until the next thing, anyway.

Furniture follies

When I was younger and went to a party the first thing I would look for would be the bar and the food.  Now I look for the cushiest seat.  It seems like every seat I sit in now is made with some material with extra density and gravity – because after two or three hours – even with a cushion, I’m done.  This makes hanging out anywhere without a sofa unappealing.

The Mysteries of Aging

Our childhoods were full of wonder and mystery. Was there really a Santa Claus?  How did Mommy know we were in the kitchen reaching for the plate of cookies? (I sincerely thought my mother had actual eyes in the back of her head.) Now as we get older, our lives are still full of mystery, of a different kind.

Why am I always colder than everyone else?

How did the exercise and diet routine I’ve followed for years stop working?

Why does sitting for too long in a certain way make my body hurt the next day?

Why does a move I’ve made about a zillion times suddenly cause an injury?

Why is everyone mumbling?

YOUR TURN

But that’s me.  What are the mysteries of aging for you? Share your thoughts in the comments!

 

Virge Randall is Senior Planet’s Managing Editor. She is also a freelance culture reporter who seeks out hidden gems and unsung (or undersung) treasures for Straus Newspapers; she writes frequently on Old School New York City and performs at open mic readings throughout New York City.  Send  Open Thread suggestions to editor@seniorplanet.org.