Open Thread Update: Advice to Your Younger Selves
Last time we asked for the advice we’d give to our younger selves – and got some powerful, poignant and uplifting replies.
As a recovering people pleaser myself, I found some comments very impactful.
Stop trying to make others happy.
C. Marie
Be true to yourself
-Deb
Others muse about being more open to possibilities…
I’d say look beyond what you are familiar with to other possibilities outside of what you know. Don’t let others tell you, you can’t do it….
Karen Bridger
Many comments were simply ‘be true to yourself.” And who among us wouldn’t agree with this advice from Reader Vivian?
…and finally Reader Nancy offers some uplifting words that put it all in perspective.
But then, I wouldn’t have the son that I treasure, this little house that’s all mine in a community I adore, the friends that I enjoy being with, the church that has deepened my understanding of the Bible & helped me to see the thousands of blessings I’ve received.
Where does the time go? Somehow I’m still stuck thinking that 10 years ago is the 90’s —- 30 years ago.
I guess it’s some kind of weird hope that I can magically go into a Wayback Machine and get a do over for some decisions and actions of mine. (Yeah, yeah, I know it’s all valuable and made me what I am, yada yada, but this is pretend.)
Besides, it’s interesting to consider what might have been, the roads taken (or not) and how my life would have been different today. When I look back there are some decisions and habits that cast a long shadow. Here’s what I’d tell my younger, 90’s self about them:
- Don’t sell the McDonald’s stock. (High trading fees and the stock’s lack of movement did it. If I held on I’d be writing from my yacht in Monaco now.)
- Hold on to the house, no matter what Michael said. (Not once, but twice! OW!!)
- Get over your fear of driving! (I was so bad people stopped to watch, openmouthed, while I tried to park. Now I’m aware how it limits my choices of places and activities.)
- Don’t postpone joy. (I don’t have to ‘earn it’ or wait for the perfect time. Be happy now!)
- Seek out and pay attention to the advice of medical, legal and financial professionals. (Take the damn vitamins, read the damned directions, and make the time!)
- Work actively to maintain relationships with people who prove they value you and not just because they are “faaaamily.”
- Stop worrying about things you can’t control.
- Ease up on the stilettos. I can only wear sneakers now.
Your Turn
But that’s me. How about you? What would tell your younger self? Share your thoughts in the comments!
Virge Randall is Senior Planet’s Managing Editor. She is also a freelance culture reporter who seeks out hidden gems and unsung (or undersung) treasures for Straus Newspapers; her blog “Don’t Get Me Started” puts a quirky new spin on Old School New York City. Send your suggestions for Open Threads to her at editor@seniorplanet.org.
Interested in personalized content? Sign up for free
Create an account and join our vibrant community to get reminders on classes and unlock a more personalized experience.
Comments
Show people that you love and care about them. However, if they don’ t reciprocate, move on. Don’t waste time with people who don’t care enough about you.
I’d stand up to my parents, make them know that I’m intelligent and capable. I’m much more than they believe. I’ve told people in trailers to get off our land . My parents didn’t know that.. I was on horseback, Tonto. I said something to the trailer and I said I would call the sheriff if they didn’t leave.
I’d say look beyond what you are familiar with to other possibilities outside of what you know. It is a big world and you don’t have to stay in your current location. Don’t let others tell you, you can’t do it. Get a good education even if it isn’t easy. The education is it’s own reward. Don’t miss any weddings, funerals or birthdays. Those are important events in the lives of your friends and family and you need to be there to share it.
I’d tell my younger self, don’t let anxiety win. Try new things, meet new people, go out of your comfort zone. Don’t let the criticism of others decide what you’re going to do or not do. Be true to yourself.
Love this, good for any age right? Speaks to my 75 year old self.
I’d recognize love more often. Many times I ended relationships because of things I didn’t like. However love was still present.
I’d be less curious about things I knew were not for me like drugs and gambling.
Never saved money like I should have. Although I’ve always had what I needed I could’ve done better.