The Man Cave on…Goal Setting

After many years of chasing goals, mostly with successful outcomes, I’ve finally learned that it’s not just the attainment that should desired but also embracing the path, the journey. 

While writing 39 books, I’ve learned that discipline is important to attain goals – but the real lesson I’ve learned was to not tie the outcome to happiness.

For years I had the mindset of “I’ll be happy when (fill in the blank…get on the NY Times, buy a bigger home, etc.”)  Now I see that I was giving up the sure thing—today—for the uncertainty of tomorrow.  In other words I was delaying happiness.

Time to Review

I’m 69 as I write this column, and goals are still important to me because they help give me a sense of purpose and direction and I’m not alone in thinking that. And many of the best goals have nothing to do with material or monetary rewards.  Looking back, some of best moments of joy were not tied to the end result, but instead occurred during the process…like the friendship made during the interview process for one of my true survival books.  Two recent goals of mine are to help a young person achieve their writing aspirations; the other is ongoing – preparing myself physically to compete in a swimming race for seniors.  If I fail at either, the mission is still worthwhile.

Avoid the Obstacles

Learn to say No. Some people will ask for favors or suggest activities that suck up your time. Manage your time wisely because to reach a goal time must be put aside for the steps.

Shoot for Improvement, not Perfection,  Rather than ruminate on your short-comings throw yourself into your work as best you can. You can improve it later in the process.

Spread the word. There is no getting around the fact that some of the time invested to achieving goals is usually done alone.  To counter that, spread the word to trusted friends and family and give them updates.  Someone will likely have helpful tips – or at least encouragement.

Easy Does It. Avoid goals that are too difficult; be realistic about your time, energy and other commitments. I’m a believer in having multiple goals: be sure at least one is clearly achievable

Simplify Your Goals

As we age our goals are often not the lofty ones we had when younger but simpler ones focused on our well-being.  Several studies have shown that older people perform better when pursuing goals geared toward maintaining our current health and lifestyle.  We may not have the drive to excel or be at the “top”, but that’s ok.

Be Flexible

Having a fixed, well defined goal is an important first step in the process, but always remember the plan to reach the goal should be flexible. A fluid plan that changes as you learn is essential;  new information should prompt you to consider tweaking your strategy or adopting a new series of steps.

The same holds true for encountering a significant hurdle: you must either solve the problem, change direction or modify the plan.  People who stubbornly cling to their original process are often derailed completely from reaching the goal.

I have a goal to hike up a small mountain near my cabin in Vermont, but this goal involves my two grandkids.  I want to be able to do it with them when they are capable, which is in about ten years.  So this long term goal means the plan is incorporated into my weekly schedule, and for me that means an occasional long walk and lots of vigorous biking (save the knees for the little mountain!).

YOUR TURN

Take a moment to write down a two or three goals for the coming months, be as specific as possible, share the idea with a confidant, and enjoy the journey.  You might surprise yourself and achieve each and every goal – and be energized along the way.

Feel free to share your goals in the comments!

Michael J. Tougias is the author of  motivational book No Will Set You Free, The Waters Between Us and 28 other books including two on the NY Times Bestseller List. His latest book is Extreme Survival: Lessons From Those Who Have Triumphed Against All Odds. Tougias speaks to both business groups and at public libraries across the country; his website is www.michaeltougias.com.