The Man Cave on…Your Family History

Before you think “no way, too much work”, hear me out.  You will not be writing War & Peace.  You will not be performing excruciating genealogy.  Your prose won’t be  perfect and flowery.

I’m proposing a straightforward chronological story of people past and present in your family.  Your readers are going to be family members – a forgiving and interested lot!

Your goal is simple: you are writing for the enjoyment of the current generation but your real audience will be your grandchildren and great grandchildren.  They will appreciate your effort to capture stories that could be lost forever.

Family History Benefits 

• Learning about your family’s past might help you understand current family dynamics
• You might learn of a hereditary health issue that you can address before trouble starts.
• Memories become unreliable over time, so get those facts in writing.
• Writing is therapeutic, particularly about personal experiences. Studies have shown writing reduces stress and can improve happiness.
• The NY Public Library wrote about 25 reasons to write your family history, and cited a study that showed that writing your family history made 67% of participants feel wiser and 72% said it helped them be closer to older relatives
• You are leaving a legacy for those who follow you.

Getting Started on Your Family History

Here are some steps to help you get started, based on my experience writing more than 30 true character-driven books and three memoirs:

• Don’t rely only on pen and paper. When interviewing family members be sure to use an audio recorder and pen and paper as backup. There are also free electronic tools online, such as Otter, if you want to have the software record the person talking and convert it into text.
• Do a warm up first. If you freeze up at the beginning and think “this is no good”, start with writing about yourself first to get you loosened up.
• Manage your time. If you’re having trouble making time, try shortening or dropping distractions like silly TV or streaming shows (especially reruns!) or social media that doesn’t enrich you.
• Be curious beyond ‘just the facts.” Readers will be especially interested to learn about a person’s hardships, challenges, hobbies, work life and passions.
• Seek out support. If you are stuck or if the process feels lonely, join a writers’ support group. Many libraries host these groups or know how to find local groups; you can check Senior Planet’s schedule of online events or Senior Planet Community to find kindred souls.

Delving Deeper into Family History

Should you be interested in going further back in your family tree than the memories of living family members, there are many resources.  This article offers an overview. You can also try the National Archives for an array of databases and sources.

It’s also smart to think about how to organize and present your research, using photos or other media.  When your work is done, your next move is to decide what format your work appear in.    A local print shop can produce a basic bound product, or you can go the self publishing route, described here.  If you really want to go all out, you can even commission a documentary.

Give your finished product as a gift to all the family members who helped you or encouraged you.  You never know who among your descendants will be grateful you did your best to write the story of your family.

My experience

Years ago I decided to tell a small part of my family history in a book for which a publisher would pay me an advance. To interest the publisher there had to be a theme that carried throughout the book.  In my case it was how my wild youth caused friction with my Dad until a family tragedy helped me mature. There may be a similar episode or epiphany in you and your family’s experience.  And who knows what it will lead to – from a cross country trip in search of your roots to a highly unusual bit of family history that interests a book publisher…or even a screenwriter!

YOUR TURN

Have you tried to write a family history?  Do you have a favorite family history book or film? Let us know in the comments!

Michael J. Tougias is the author  three memoirs The Waters Between Us, The Power of Positive Fishing and There’s A Porcupine In My Outhouse (winner of the Best Nature Book of the Year by the Independent Publishers Association. www.michaeltougias.com)