The Man Cave on….Kindness

Kindness is contagious – and wonderful for giver and receiver. Try it and see. 

I take compliments wherever I can get them, so when the young woman at the convenience store said “You are rocking that bathing suit”  it first gave me a smile and then led to a quick chat.*  She made my day with her comment, so when I went to my car I grabbed one of the books I’ve written, signed it, and re-entered the store and gave it to my new friend.  She surprised me again. This time by breaking into tears and saying, “I’ve been working here 2 years and no one has ever given me a gift.” 

Kindness Counts

Two strangers, two acts of kindness, two people feeling better about themselves. Both initiating acts of thoughtfulness without ulterior motivation, except perhaps to brighten up our days.  It’s no surprise that research studies show a clear link in initiating acts of kindness to improved feelings of well-being and self esteem. 

So why aren’t there more acts of kindness?  Often, it is because people underestimate the beneficial impact of even the smallest gesture.  If you are one of those people, I challenge you to give compliments and praise to strangers who you interact with.  Then watch them smile. 

I’ve seen even the grumpiest, saddest looking people brighten up from the most simple of gestures on my part.  (And yes, I’ve had a couple people where no amount of engagement could get them to smile or even nod.  But I’m glad I tried because you never know what another person is going through.) 

If you think you are too busy on a certain day to think of others, consider what the Dalai Lama has observed.  “Be kind whenever possible.  And it is always possible.” 

Go Big on Kindness

How about larger acts of kindness?  Number one would be helping others in need.  That might include someone with a disability.  Assisting them with grocery shopping, yard work, and transportation are just a few examples.  Other areas to channel your time where you can really make a difference include: 

• Volunteering at a homeless shelter, a food bank, or delivering meals on wheels. You can even support a virtual food bank. 

• Volunteering at an animal shelter near you. 

• Giving your time to children in need of mentorship and companionship such as Big Brothers/Sisters, Boys and Girls Clubs, etc. 

• Spending a couple hours with those in turmoil: it could be a friend who is depressed or a neighbor who has gone through a divorce or lost a loved one. 

A Kindness Story 

Years ago I offered my service to an organization that assisted blind individuals to spend more time in the outdoors.  I took groups hiking to different locations and assisted in the transportation.  Looking back it not only gave me a sense that I was making a difference in their lives and that they were enjoying the excursions, but I also brought my children along. I like to think that early exposure to sharing a strength (for me it was knowledge of the best hiking and cross country skiing trails) is a simple way to channel your energy and help others and have a good time while you are doing it.  I like to think that my kids learned a valuable lesson.

Kindness in Action

Want more reasons to add acts of kindness into your daily lives?  Here are a few: 

• Research shows kindness is contagious.  In a sense, the good feeling you get when you are the receiver, is one you want to share. 

• Helping another person gives one a sense of purpose 

• When giving kindness you break the cycle of focusing too much on yourself. 

• Strengthens relationships 

*Now I’m sure the young woman who commented on my bathing suit meant to make a 70-year-old man feel good rather than being 100% sincere, but I’ll take it! 

YOUR TURN

What random act of kindness made your day – and someone else’s?  Share your story in the comments!

 

(Michael Tougias is a NY Times Bestselling Author of 30 books for adults and 9 for middle readers.  His latest adult book is In Deep Water: A True Story of Sharks, Survival and Courage www.michaeltougias.com)