The Man Cave on…Digital Overload

It’s easy to go down the rabbit hole of too much reliance on technology.  You log onto YouTube to see one clip about growing tomatoes and an hour later you’re perusing an article about growing papayas even though you live in Michigan.  Or you’re on Facebook marketplace looking for a used bicycle and two hours later you find yourself reading the posts of a friend you haven’t seen since the 4^th grade.

The people who have designed these social media sites have done it again – lured you into more clicks than you intended.  Time to take back the precious commodity only you can control – how to spend your free hours of the day.

I limit my screen time to what is truly important, to allow for activities that are more healthy and satisfying.  And so my routine in the morning is to keep my phone and computer off until I’ve taken my morning bike ride or swim.  Then I’ll do a quick check of texts and the headline news, followed by a decision whether to engage with anyone, and if so do I want to do so by phone, by video chat, or text.

Dating and the Digital Life

One valuable lesson I recently learned while dating was that texting is fine for giving an ETA or an address or a quick hello, but anything more in depth is best done with a phone call.  If you text feelings or important decisions those can easily be misunderstood.  In these situations the older technology of a simple phone call does a better job because we can hear nuance and tone.

Once, in my own life, a woman I was dating texted me that she was not feeling well.  I texted back, asking if there was anything I could do to help her.  She replied, no, she would be fine.  But later she said “I can’t believe you at least didn’t stop over!”

I assumed, when she said she would be fine, is that she wanted her space and time to recover.  Had we talked on the phone I probably would have picked up that she wouldn’t mind some company or to pick up some medicine at the drug store.    Another time a date texted me saying she couldn’t make our planned outing the next day because she was “feeling blue”.  I texted back, no problem, I totally understand that an all day trip is difficult at certain times.  Five hours later she texted me “I can’t believe you didn’t ask WHY I was feeling down.”  Silly me, I thought because she cancelled and did so in a text she didn’t feel like talking.

Distracted Listening

Too much reliance on technology has made us distracted listeners.  Our attention spans seem to be shorter.  There are few things more rude than a person checking the texts on their phone while another person is talking to them.  An engaged listener is someone who makes eye contact, occasionally nods to convey understanding, asks a question, perhaps gives a reassuring pat on the hand or a hug if needed.  All of these are impossible to do via texting or emails, but easily done in person.

A psychologist gave a great example of how technology is causing us to be lonely.  The psychologist was on a college campus and went to the cafeteria, expecting it to be loud with chatter.  Instead the giant room was oddly quiet. Then he realized most of the people were looking down at their phones while eating! 

Make it a rule in your own house, that cell phones are not allowed at family meals: the gathering more fun and one where everyone feels included. In my house,  if someone brings out a cell phone during a meal I say something like “Unless you are expecting an important call why don’t we all silence our phones so we can enjoy our company.”   Most people have not been offended, at least as far as I can tell, and usually respond “good idea”.

Distracted Dangers!

I’m also finding technology also has its physical dangers besides the impact on our mental health.  A friend’s boat is equipped with all the latest electronics, displayed on a big screen.  Plenty of helpful information was displayed: GPS Map, water depth, even a fish finder!

But that screen sucked him in.

Once, as we were motoring along, I said “Do you know where you’re headed?”  He answered “that’s what I’m trying to figure out on the GPS.”  And I responded, “No, that’s not what I mean, you are headed right toward a rock jetty!”

The electronic screens on new cars can cause similar problems.  Heck, on my 2023 model, the touch screen radio is so sensitive I’ve caught myself staring and swearing at the screen instead of keeping my eyes on the road!

Avoid Digital Overload

Here are three warning signs of “technology dependence”:

• You feel anxious when not connected to the internet
• When the power goes out, you don’t enjoy the reprieve from screen time and find no happiness in reading a book, taking a walk, or whatever activities you formerly enjoyed outdoors.
• You’re so busy recording memories by shooting photos and videoing, you are not fully appreciating the experience.

A couple of my pushbacks against technology that I’ve employed:

• I often shut my cell phone off for extended periods. (I’ve never missed anything important.)
• I use a paper calendar “monthly planner” where under each day I can record, appointments, writing deadlines, and social engagements. (I simply like this better than a digital calendar)
• I still have paper maps in the car and often use them. These can be used for back up if my GPS goes out or I lose my phone. I love my Delorme Atlas Gazetteer of nearby states which has all sorts of wonderful detail that an outdoorsmen like me enjoy examining.
• And last but not least, in this article we are taking a break from including helpful links! You’ve got the message, now it’s time to get outdoors!

YOUR TURN

How have you experienced digital overload? What do you do to prevent or manage your digital reliance? Share your tips in the comments!

Michael Tougias has written several books on WWII, including So Close To Home: A True Story of an American Family’s Fight for Survival, and Abandon Ship: The Sinking of the Laconia.  www.michaeltougias.com