Fearless online dating for older women

Online dating is fun at any age. But if you are a woman in your sixties or seventies, it can be a bit of a challenge. You need to be armed with the right tools to be successful. It takes time and tenacity. (How about these senior men who are looking to date women who are ten or even 20 years younger than themselves. Do they want children at sixty?  Good luck with that college fund….!)

Just for fun, here is a possible online profile of a 70-year-old man with a search age for a 45-60-year-old women:

“I’m a young 69 year old man.  My family says I look 60 and I feel sixty most of the time. I’m in pretty good shape for my age.  I am balding with a paunch, shorter then I use to be, retired and on a limited income.  But hey, I use to be a pilot with my own plane!  Until night vision problems set in.  Anyhow, I have a nice condo with a pool and I drive a red convertible.

I’m looking for a young woman who is extremely amorous with a nice income. It would be great if you were also a nurse.”

Get Real

OK, are you smiling yet?  All too often we see men’s profiles online that make us shake our head or even feel intimated by the search age they are looking for. We don’t bother to say hello because of their listed age range for woman.  Many older men (with money, or good looks) feel they can and should date 10-15 years down from their own age. I have spoken with a few older men who tell me they don’t “want to date their mother.” Yet they are looking to date a woman the age of their daughters!  As you might guess, their conversation with these younger women would likely be limited and these guys will all need chiropractors from dancing all night!

So, how does a woman in her sixties or seventies compete with the man who says he is searching for a younger woman?  Well, for one thing, men really don’t know what they want…other than sex:)   So what’s a woman to do when you’re not in the age range they have listed?

 Action Steps

• Write them anyway. Don’t be intimated. The worst thing that would happen is they don’t write you back.  But just think…If a guy sent you an email with the headline: “You’re so hot you melted my computer” you’d reply…and so would any man you sent that to.  Even if they weren’t normally interested, their ego would get the best of them.  Sometimes, you just have to be a little more creative and gutsy online.

• Which brings me to a point regarding the photos older women put online; A man has to be attracted, no matter what his age!   Be sure it’s just you in the photo; no grandkids, girlfriends, cat or dog. The best photos show a carefree you. A photo with the wind blowing your hair around, you laying on the grass reading a book, you cooking in the kitchen with just an apron, chef’s hat and wooden spoon (and maybe nothing else, if you’re daring).

• Accept that online dating is here to stay and it takes work.  If you really want to find romance or that special someone, online is the only way to go in today’s world and you need to step up. An hour a day is not too much to find the love of your life. Work at it daily and send as many flirts and emails as you can to as many men that you even think have potential.  You also have to go and meet as many men as possible whether it’s for coffee or a glass of wine.  This way you won’t build up just one person in your mind and then feel let down, you can just say: “next” and move on to another.  Knowing what to do and how to do it is half the battle of successful online dating.

Don’t give up or get disgusted.  Go get’m!

Gail Karpus is the author of Fast Track to Romance, a complete online dating guide for today’s mature woman, especially those who have never dated online or has been unsuccessful at online dating.