senior-women-friendship

Aging Alone Doesn’t Have to Mean Lonely

People confuse the word “alone” with lonely.

In a society where marriage has been held up as the ideal, they misunderstand how those who’ve never married, or who are widowed or divorced, experience living alone.

Will you still need me when I’m 84?

Loneliness is not tied to relationship status, and it’s a fallacy to assume that marriage or cohabitation is the solution. Ask anyone who’s been in an unhappy, non-communicative marriage. Eric Klinenberg, the author of “Going Solo,” a book about living alone, looks at the emergence of the one-person household as an increasingly preferred living choice.  “People who live alone do get lonely,” Klinenberg says, “but so do people in marriages.”

Younger people have made living alone a choice; in the under-65 demographic, 15 million live alone and many are actively choosing single lives, at the same time proving that the old equation between living alone and being unhappy no longer holds true. Younger singles are just as happy and healthy as younger people in committed relationships. But what about the 11 million seniors who are leading single lives? According to researchers, many older singles are not doing so well.

As we age, many of us start worrying what living alone will be like.  Who’ll help if I become ill? What if I feel lonely and isolated? We worry about maintaining social connections if we lose mobility. Those of us who sought a single life and chose not to remarry after a divorce or spouse’s death might find ourselves rethinking our priorities.

Should advancing age cause people like me who are single to rethink our status? Is it time to find a partner?

In an effort to quantify the feeling of loneliness – a sense of not having meaningful contact with others, accompanied by painful distress – geriatric specialists at the University of California, San Francisco, asked 1,604 adults age 60 and older how often they felt isolated or left out, or lacked companionship. Sixty-two percent of those who reported being lonely were married.  (Click here to read more about the study.)

Maybe what we need as we plan for old age is to expand our social connections and interactions – not look for a husband.

Words – and More – With Friends

We long for meaningful relationships and social connections. That may be why increasing numbers of older people are turning to online dating sites, which offer a way to connect with others and make new friends, even if they don’t deliver a life partner.

There are other ways to connect and grow our social circles, too. Facebook is a great place to chat, keep up with friends’ activities and even play games with them, like the popular game Word with Friends. Some websites offer forums and chat rooms that encourage users to interact with others. Online friendships can supplement real life relationships.

We need social interactions and people in our lives who care about us, but living alone doesn’t always lead to loneliness, just as living with others is no guarantee of happiness. We can maintain our independent lifestyles as we age and build strong social connections at the same time.

Senior Planet is an open forum and offers articles for information only. We welcome comments from readers, but can’t be a  go-between for readers who wish to contact each other via email for any reason.  Since it is impossible to vet every commenter, Senior Planet’s policy is not to publish or share commenters emails  for any reason, even if requested.   

Want to learn how to meet new people?  Try some of the suggestions in this article.  

 

1,057 comments
  • Lori
    REPLY

    I understand what you are all feeling and my heart goes out to you. I have no children, spouse or friends and, last year I lost my beloved cat of 14yrs. I struggle with anxiety and depression along with osteoarthritis. I need a double knee replacement but the surgeon won’t do it because he said I am too sad. This makes me even more isolated.
    I don’t have a car and live in senior housing where they bully so much that I stay to myself.
    Thankfully, I just found a wonderful therapist that is helping me. At least I have one kind person to talk to. He is encouraging me to work on my crafts, join a yoga class and maybe, someday, adopt another cat.
    Hugs to all of you. If you need an email friend, I’m here. <3

    • Linda Harrelson
      REPLY

      Lori..hi,my name is Linda.I’m now 66 and live with my 2pups. I’ve lived here in Va ,well,I’m native to this area,joined the military,retired and came back,telling myself I would never return to Va. Yet,I did. Funny thing,all my family have passed,it’s just my pups and me. Being older I have found the the good,bad and ugly. I’m old enough to know better,people do prey on seniors and most people believe that because we have age we’re simply crazy. When I divorced,my church was not kind…I couldn’t understand how they embraced excon yet a divorcee was an embarrassment to the church. My neighbors don’t offer any help or kindness yet they mind my business more than I do. As a veteran,I was always accustomed to being around people and I enjoy helping others . One of my late friends grieved himself to an early grave,his mom died. As we get older,in today’s society,respect and compassion seem to no longer fit the vernacular of younger people, millennials,but I do sense a climate of entitlement. Never have I seen a time when children,and adult children both threaten and literally kill parents&grandparents. The whole world has become a melting pot of insanity. Having lived alone even when married,I realized if someone doesn’t share your convictions on life,then learning to let go is healthier for you. You can’t force love. Bullies by the way are bullies because they focus on a person’s weakness. Instead of living life as though it is already over,ask God for strength,be thankful and start a daily journal of all the good that you do have. What we focus on becomes our reality.If we always believe we will never be happy we can.literally miss opportunities of goodness for focusing on the negativity. I almost died in Oct of 2018; I asked God for strength and wisdom that HE would guide me. Learning to forgive those who are unkind frees you from the prison of bitterness and allows you to have a different opinion about life. Each day you awaken this side of the dirt,is a good day and today if you have no idea how to begin..ask God to give you wisdom God has a plan for you otherwise you would not be here anymore. Don’t think you have to conquer the world,just change your attitude to one of thanksgiving for today.

    • Gary Ingerson
      REPLY

      Hi Lori ,

      I am sort of in the same sinking boat , although I did not have a cat !! 2 days ago and 4 years my dad died. The week before it was 14 years my mom passed. I was a caregiver / companion .
      Now I am 66 , alone running out of money and fearing for the worst because the US does not care , plain and simple.

      If you care to reach out to a lonely soul , I shall gladly reply.

      I am caucasian / alone / depress and scared , but I also have a side to me that is loving and respectful of others.
      Perhaps I am not my now best friend , but that does not mean I can not treat others wit h the respect and kindness they deserve.

      I am a christian , the Lord died for all our sins and I shall see my loved ones when my time has come.

      I suffer from autoimmune disease and associated aliments , I am currently battling not only the system that refuses to help , but arthritis and other complications.

      If you would care to have a friend , please reply

      Gary

      • Elaine Charlotte Campbell
        REPLY

        Hi Everyone
        I live on the Coast in North Carolina. I came here to retire and enjoy the beach. A month after I arrived, I got sicker than a dog and it turned out to be MS and Lupus. Now I can’t walk a straight line or be in the sun.
        I have three kids. They are healthy, independent, and drug and alcohol-free, thank God. They all live more than 1000 miles from me. None of them offered to come and help me when I was recovering. Four years ago I went to Colorado to visit my middle son. He absolutely ignored me almost the entire time I was there. I have four sisters that don’t speak to me. We were raised to ignore and dislike one another. My mother was a piece of work.
        I have one brother. He is no neurotic and depressed his name is in the Webster’s Dictionary as the definitions. He lives with me. It took me years to get used to him being here. He is also the biggest slob in NC. He can’t help it. He was so abused. Again, my mother was a piece of work.
        I have been alone to try to recover from MS and Lupus. I think I’ve done a good job. Since I wasn’t allowed to socialize when I lived at home, I have learned to live in solitude. Sometimes crowds get on my nerve so bad I have to go to Walmart in the middle of the night. I wish I had someone to really care about me. I never have. Should I be careful what I wish for? It’s backfired on me before. Thanks for listening.

        • Diane Tilley
          REPLY

          If you or anyone else that you know or are aware of is being bullied in an elderly facility, contact the Ombudsman Program, they will put an end to the situation at hand, they will put an end to Elder Abuse!

          • Lance Westernoff

            God does work in mysterious ways I truly belive in him because things or epasodes or gifts that could only happen inf he wanted it that way only happened because he is truly out there if you pray hard enough he will answer it might not be what u want but something is going to happen it does for me im not kidding !!!

          • marilyn

            I like your outlook and also believe in it. I lived solo and did not have any problems with it as I stayed active and did not expect any relationship to progress towards anything but a friendship basis. I love people and love activities that include them.

        • Ruby Reid
          REPLY

          I am Australian ,aged 70.years old. I I share my house with a couple not just to help pay the mortgage but for companionship.He is 40years old and she is 29 years old.
          Twice a week I attend the University of the Third Age (U 3a)where I study anthropology and classical history.
          My local U3a has over 1500 members all over 55 , and offers over 100 different courses.
          All the tutors are volunteers
          Since I joined two years ago I have mde many new friends and acquaintances .
          Isolation is a huge problem here in Autralia too.
          Organisations like U3a certainly address this issue.

      • Elaine Charlotte Campbell
        REPLY

        Gary
        I have multiple sclerosis and lupus. I’m thinking you have the same thing. I would like to hear from you. I am 65, alone, and I live on the coast of NC. Sounds nice but yesterday the heat index was 110. I can’t even get the mail before my skin begins to blister. I hope to hear from you.

      • Rose
        REPLY

        Hi Lori my name is Rose and I am exactly like you. So know that you are not alone. I was married for 20 years and 14 yrs ago he passed away. I was lonely so I called my one friend and we started going places. It was alot of fun. Then after some yrs later she decided to move
        She’s so far away and wanted me to move with her. I don’t want to live in a hot climate. So now here I am in depression and extreme lonliness. I never had kids and my parents died. I have brothers and a sister, but my stepmother doesn’t want me over anymore and has brain washed my siblings. They don’t call and I haven’t seen.them in 28 yrs. I’ve had one knee surgery and now I’m going to therapy again. I have osteoporosis and osteoarthritis in my knees, back and ankles and also depression. I was so glad to read your story and it’s sad what we’re going through. Maybe if you had an old friend of the past you could give her a call. Or if you play bingo, many women go alone. I only wish you the best. I’ll be praying for us.

      • JANE C.
        REPLY

        Hello everyone–I am 68 and live alone in a 55+ community. I love that there are activities and the people are so great. I was trying to think of a way for the singles here to let each other know that we are ok. Just this morning out of the blue, I had a scary dizzy spell and with 2 dogs, I worry that I could pass out or even die and nobody would know. Has anyone else ever thought about this. Maybe find someone to give an extra key to that you can trust, or an email chain. Any thoughts.

        • JM
          REPLY

          Jane,

          I am 62 and live alone with my dog. I wish I lived in a 55+ community. I know that if something happened to me no one would find me for days. I still work (for one more year) so I know if I didn’t show up for work someone would eventually come to my house. On the weekends my phone never rings, I have work acquaintances but no good friends. I fell not long ago, luckily wasn’t hurt but if I had not been able to get up I would have laid on the floor for days. I signed up for Life Alert after that. I have pretty bad arthritis in my back and weakness in my legs from two hip replacements so I do think about if something were to happen. I will probably move to a retirement community after I retire. I know I’ll be the youngest one there but at least there will be people around. I definitely know how you feel.

        • Alan
          REPLY

          Here’s the problem. Many seniors get depressed, understandably. Being alone and feeling worthless and lonely. But you have to realize these things are the very things that keep you from pulling yourselves out of these doldrums. It’s a viscous circle. But the only way to remedy these negative feelings is to become as interesting and engaged in life as much as possible. Don’t allow yourself to become boring. No one is attracted to boring, depressed and negative people. You have to become a jewel…one that shines and lights up the world her them. That is attractive and once you become that person who shines people will be attracted to you, like a light in the night beckons moths. Ask yourself this – would you like to hang around people that are constantly down, depressed and negative? Of course not! There is so much in life to be thankful for. You can take advantage of opportunities that will continually progress your mind and stimulate your well being. Resist letting negativity drag you down. Come alive again and stop planning for the end…but instead plan to live. Be a mover and a shaker. Volunteer to help others. Live a good life and thank your god for the beautiful opportunity he has laid before you. Look up, not at your feet. And you know you can do it. There is no great mystery to a fulfilling life. It is nothing more than a change of mind, positive thinking sparked by what is truly real – the glory of life and existence! Get yourself some!

    • Jean
      REPLY

      Hi, Lori
      I, too, have no children, husband, or friends (acquaintances only – those who when you run into them, give you the obligatory hug that means nothing, ask how you are and without waiting for a reply, launch into the latest about themselves & their families.) If I begin to tell them anything about myself that goes on for more than 30 seconds, they start to glaze-over, or look over my shoulder for someone else to acknowledge, or make an excuse to leave. It’s all so superficial it’s not worth the effort. Like you, my pet chiweenie (dachshund/chihuahua from the shelter ) is everything to me and I can’t begin to think on him passing away. I live in Bend, Oregon and have had both hips replaced so it gets hard to use my snowblower if needed in the winter and the lawn is slowly dying since it’s such a chore to maintain it and the lawn services are outrageously expensive to hire for it. If you care to email me, let me know (not sure how people post their contact info on here without it becoming public for all to see) ???

      Jean

      • JM
        REPLY

        Jean

        Our lives sound very similar, I tend to be the “therapist” to acquaintances, but if I have something I want to talk about, there is either no response or they change the subject back to them. My dog Bella is my saving grace! I have also had both of my hips replaced. Before my first hip was replaced (once I found the right doctor) I went four years in constant pain, leaving me with muscle degeneration in my legs. So, now, I’m thankful that the pain is gone, and I can walk, but I can’t walk for very long without having to sit for at least a few minutes. I’ve had to hire out for lawn care and snow removal. I can’t get on the ground so I now plant flowers in containers just to get my hands in the dirt! I’m still working but plan on retiring after this next year. I have put a deposit down at a retirement facility, I’ll probably move there sometime after retirement, just to have people around. I don’t have any children and very few family members that don’t live close.

      • Tricia
        REPLY

        Hi Lori,

        I would love to be your pen pal. I’m 55 and my 90 yr old father lives with me, so between working full time, taking care of a 5 bedroom house and my dad I’ve had to give up having a life of my own. I have two cat’s that I’m thankful for because I work in the yard every day after work and even though they’re inside cats I’ve trained them to stay in my yard while I’m doing yard work. They absolutely love being outside with me.

        I’m so glad that you had the courage to tell your story because it helped me and I’m sure many others to realize that they’re not the only ones out there that are lonely and just need a friend to care about them. Lori, I care about you and I would love to be your friend. :)

        ~Tricia

    • April
      REPLY

      Hi Lori, I am not a senior (47) but my story is of yours. Never married, no children, no friends and my (1) unconditional friend my cat, Joey was poisoned at the age of 14 by my Narcissistic ex-boyfriend, 3 years ago. I miss him everyday and just until recently have I been able to even look at his picture with out crying. As I have every reason to distrust humans now; I still choose to see that not all people are bad. You seem like a very kind and good person. I felt compelled to reach out to you and tell you that.

      • Clement ilango
        REPLY

        Hi I am 74 years young . Lost my wife to breast cancer long ago . I am living alone but I never feel lonely . I have magic recipes fr bearing loneliness and depression !! The mind can work miracles . I am a happy solo traveller . Been to 60 countries already and now getting ready fr the next one .

    • Cheryl Goodrich
      REPLY

      I’m not sure who I’m writing. I read your message and I really like what you wrote. So much like myself. I would like you to be my friend. If you reply I will tell you more about myself.
      Thank you Cheryl, Hope to here from you.It would be wonderful to have someone to write that understands my lonelyness. Bye for now.

    • Robert
      REPLY

      I am very sorry to hear all that you have gone through all by yourself. I pray the good Lord help and support you. My name is Robert and I will like to be friend with you if you dont mind..

    • Paula Hayes
      REPLY

      I’m sad to think what your going through . I honestly can not come too terms their are people with no one . Yes no fam , no kids , but not a sole to call a friend . I don’t know where you are but I’d be their for you . But saying that you may cast me aside , as I’m a transsexual old lady , but I’ve a heart & feelings . Yes I’m lonely but not a monster .

  • Susan Brown
    REPLY

    Hope everybody had a nice day My name is Susan I am 67 in NC I adopted 2 cats 4 years ago. My boy died less than a month ago, if not for my girl I do not know what i would do. I have one best friend who is now in Florida. I am from New York City originally. I just want a friend I was thinking of a room i turned into a computer room back to a bedroom and look for somebody to share it with. Golden Girls 2 where are you lol. I spend a lot of time on facebook. Just found this blog tonight

    Susan

    • Kristina
      REPLY

      Hello Susan,
      So, so sorry for your loss. Quite a void. Laid my 16y old chihuahua to rest 1/2018 and not completely over the loss. A family member he was and boy, do the years go by f-a-s-t!!!
      Was medical for years, like y-e-a-r-sss and how I enjoy the peace and quiet that retirement brings. Adopted a senior chihuahua, age 10y and have had him since 1/2019. A house is not a home unless a pet resides in it. My philosophy !.
      In short, may sound funny, but I was an only child and now age 69y. Grew up with older parents and their older circle. i am alone but not lonely, the day is so, so short. From early morning, preparing for the day, walking my darling pet, walking club, gardening club, reading-news of the world and so on. I have a small circle of friends, we gather X1 week, they are all seniors with their own situations and so it goes. How I see it……..One can be as alone OR lonely as one wants to be. All how one VIEWS their situation. By taking an active interest around me, I have no time for loneliness…Just my input and I wish you well…
      Whiterock, BC

      • Sue
        REPLY

        I live in Northeast Georgia. I have one female furry friend inside. And when were baby on the outside. It gets lonely I am 66 years old. And although I have a daughter and two grandchildren and a son-in-law that lives not very far away that you’re always busy. I would also like to chat.I think of so many things I would like to talk about two people but just have to hold it in.

      • Mac
        REPLY

        Oh my. I have been alone since 1987. zip for family and I am older than you are . Last thing I want is a man around!
        Best friends died a year apart.

    • Eileen
      REPLY

      Hi Susan! Sorry for your loss; it sounds like a good idea for revamping a spare room., but Id stick with local thru a church perhaps. Just be careful. I moved to Florida from Long Island NY years ago, just quit f/t job, have typical aches & pains., If you want to rsvp me, Im in same pattern as you but 69. Eileen

    • Kristina
      REPLY

      Hi Susan,
      I’m live near Charlotte. I am alone as well. I honestly don’t mind living alone. I just need to find some friends. I’m from Massachusetts. I have lived here for 3 years and I haven’t found any meaningful friendships. I can easily talk to people at the park and they sit and talk to me but nothing ever comes of it. I never run into them again. There are women my age where I live but they never seem to want to do anything but talk about others. I’m just not into that. I would love to meet a few friends I can get together with and becomes close friends to do things with. I’ve joined a few groups but they mostly go out at night and I don’t drive at night where I don’t know where I’m going. My eyes are just not what they use to be. I love to go out to eat lunch, go to the movies, go to festivals or just about anything. Everything is fun when you have someone to share things with. Please let me know where you are in NC. Perhaps we can meet and get to know each other. Good luck meeting others

      Kristina

      • Joyce Goodale
        REPLY

        Hi Susan…Where in MA are you. I’m in CT east of Hartford. Good movies coming up. Maybe we could meet halfway. I’m a retired social worker…78 1/2…single for 40 years .

        Joyce

      • Lori
        REPLY

        Dear Kristina,
        You sound SOOOO much like me! I am friendly and often chat with others but I seldom see them again. In senior housing they do nothing but complain about others in the building and, when I don’t take sides, I become the target of harassment. I feel like I am in grade school, lol. I hope to find friends outside my housing. I still want to see and try new things. I am a “daytime” person and prefer to be home after dark.
        It is definitely more fun with a friend. I went to see the Thunderbirds alone but to not have someone to share the excitement with, it wasn’t the same.
        I hope you find a friend, Kristina, and all others in search of friendships as well.

        Hugs from VT

      • marta margarita
        REPLY

        Hello I just found this group. I am 73, my husband died in December and although I have sons and grandchildren they hardly ever come to see me. I live in a studio apt. next to my sister who is younger than me and has her own life. I am OK during the day but at night I feel so lonely, miss my husband and my 2 very good friends are sick with cancer. I have other friends but they are younger, still working and married. I find myself feeling sick because I feel old and isolated and lack the motivation to go out by myself and do anything.
        I live in Miami Florida and I have not found a group near me to meet sometimes or go to lunch with, people are too busy or they have their family life and their own friends.
        Anyway, I wish you all a good night and if you want to write to me I will like that.
        I was told by a friend to join a dating app for seniors,but I do not feel ready to go on dates, I just want some company someone to share going to the beach or having dinner together, so hard to find people that share the same interests.

    • Robyn
      REPLY

      Hi Susan,
      I, too, live in North Carolina. I’m wondering if it’s Charlotte or Raleigh area. I am in the Charlotte area. I became an empty nester at the precise time as my long and painful and drawn out divorce ensued.

      And, yes, I’m very lonely. I lived alone for three years and the loneliness became in bearable. I recently moved back to my hometown and my two daughters live close by. It is better that I move back home and I’m not as lonely as I was. Before it was all crushing because I lived in Florida with absolutely no relatives in town. This is a better situation but I’m still very lonely. And not necessarily for a husband though that would be nice too.

      Feel free to contact me. I’d love some new friends.

      • Peony
        REPLY

        Hi I’m in Texas. Have one daughter and an older sister. I work but have literally no friends anymore. Used to in my younger days but I guess took the friendships for granted and lost them. By the time I woke up and tried to reconnect, it was too late. I long for the intimacy of a good friendship. Someone to talk to on a deep level. Someone to laugh spontaneously with. I’ve tried a few “dating” sites with no intention of really dating. Just looking for a real friend. Not a great experience

    • Ginger
      REPLY

      Hi Susan : just felt the need to respond as some one who truly relates to lonely. I have family and thank my god every day for the blessings that brings; nonetheless, they have busy lives and I don’t want to be a burden to them or make them feel they have to be concerned. Looking for a group to get together or establish similar likes to do things with (let’s face it everything is more fun with someone or s group!). Tho I’m in Maryland one of me daughters is in nc ( married a NC fella) so I get down there often. Maybe we can put our heads together and start a group of like people to just go to the movies or shopping or whatever? A list of folks you can turn to fir support to hang out or just talk to for some people. Today’s lifestyle of mobile has made past relationships be scattered and threadbare…not as in days past where people stayed more in one place. If you need someone to just chat or if interested in firming s group of some sort since I’m just now throwing this idea out there let me know. If anyone knows of groups such as this fill us in! Still work but that still leaves time to play if not too expensive lol! Cards and games and hikes are FREE! Ginger

      • Tina-Marie
        REPLY

        Elaine,
        I am in Texas also, and like everyone else here I am looking to make friends and alleviate some of the loneliness…where about in Texas are you? I am living and working in Arlington right now but looking for work in the North Dallas area so I can move back there because it is an hour away.

  • Dwight Ries
    REPLY

    I am a 70yr old man looking for a pen pal or someone to tex or talk to on the phone. I don’t drive sence a couple of mounted ago I todaled my car do to curcomstances I can’t get into know. I live with my daughter and. son-inlaw I can get around pretty good. My hobbies is working with wood tree ornaments, funeture and small things out of wood. . I like to travel but l don’t drive. I am religesous but not a fanatic. I love my grandchildren and great grandchildren. I hope I hear something it gets lonely around this house during the day by my self.

      • Gordon
        REPLY

        Hi I am 67 years of age and although married it is non communicative and deeply lonely, I crave for the friendship of a lady in a similar state, purely for friendship, and social .
        I enjoy cycling and walking and am very active,,

        • Barry Phelps
          REPLY

          Gordon,
          I am 65 years old and maybe in a similar situation. I am not deeply lonely or craving female friendship, but do have a non communicative and lonely marriage of over 20 years. Yesterday I biked 35 miles and today I am getting ready to run five miles.

          I wonder how you are doing with your search? I am interested in talking to men about working to improve our enjoyment of life. So, maybe we can help each other. I might have some decent feedback about your efforts. And you might suggest where I look to find all the old men who are still making the effort to do new things.

          My wife and I live like college room mates that are sick of each other and can’t get out of their one year lease.

        • Lexie
          REPLY

          Looking for a pen pal for my 65 year old grandma. She’s disabled, doesn’t drive, and is lonely. Ideally, she would love to speak to someone who is also Christian as religion is very important to her and maybe knows how to use FaceTime so you can chat face to face.

          • Chris Brooks.

            I am 67 years Old from Canada. Get your grandma to reach me via my email
            I need a lady pen pal to lessen the loneliness that aging brings.

          • Beverly Brown

            Ii am 66 years recovering from the loss of my 45 year old son 2 years ago. My only daughter lives out of state. I used to live with her and her children. I miss that. My life partner of 30 years also lives out of state. He is younger than me and no longer interested in a relationship because, due to serious health issues, I can no longer be physically intimate. I miss the closeness of someone special. I miss my fAmily. I have one friend who is married. We meet for coffee every morning, but after 2 years I don’t feel any closer to her than when we first met. I try to keep busy, I have many hobbies and interests, but I cannot travel far because of my health. I’m not very active and I am very lonely. I love my Chiweeny, but he’s not a male companion in the normal since. I hope I’m needed by someone out there.

        • Joyce
          REPLY

          Gordon I don’t mind talking. My husband died of cancer. Very fit women slim and look young for my age (as everyone says). I really need to talk

        • Susanne
          REPLY

          Hello Dianne. Just curious of what you decided to do as I myself am in similar situation, no family wanting to move. Not sure where to . Being alone and lonely are two different things, for sure. Take care

        • Susan
          REPLY

          Hello Dianne , And to all who are feeeling lonely as I. I have been on my own mostly all my life , only child, family died young. After Ex abused me I moved to the south, Georgia to be exact, I’m from Massachusetts, so the south is not my cup of tea as they say. Hard to make any friends most everyone married, and in their own world. I keep busy , right now trying to find a place to move to , as it’s so very hard on your own to live on one income, and I’d like to be north of here. There are no friends to be had in this town. I do work part time at home from computer, and work with animals but still I am lonely , no one to talk to although I do talk to God, hoping he will show me the way. Where to go , what my purpose is. It’s hard when you don’t have a soul to talk over things with.I am not feeling sorry for myself as others have it much worse I have 2 arms 2 legs am 62 and I feel lost. I try to find a way to help others everyday even though I may not have much, trying to follow God’s road, to lead me to mine. Anyway, if anyone wants to talk I am here . Take care everyone.

        • ANNA PATE
          REPLY

          I used to feel the same! Happily divorced for many years and love being single but did not like living alone per say so i opted for a roommate and love it!!!

        • Rosemary Huni
          REPLY

          I am a woman looking for a companion been widowed since 1982. I was left with four children who are grown up. Am very lonely need someone to talk and be with till death do us part. Am a church goer.

    • Di Morrow
      REPLY

      Hi my name is Di. I am severe arthritis and do not leave the house much. I carve in wood and make my own things also. Last thing I made was a sculptured dragon……wingspan 3 feet ….everyone says it looks like it came from the HBO show. I am good but super slow due to arthritis in my hands. I sell my work whenever I can. I live in Hawaii and do not travel due to back issues. I live alone, so always fixing broken things. I get lonely also….it is hard not having someone to discuss things with….as most people have no idea what it is like to be alone. My friends are all dead, died young….so I miss the support. Family and friend in the mainland are too busy to even talk. Get to see children and grandchildren but they are also so busy with sports and life….it is rare to see to them. My hobbies are all kinds of art, exotic garden design, pet cats…reading books….plus a few other things. I am 63.

      • Ann creel
        REPLY

        I am75 and really lonely I substitute in schools I tutor in the afternoon I have my grandson and a great great granddaughter close by my children but I’m still lonely and miss the communication of a man in my life I would like to find someone who just wants to talk and share things someone who is this lonely as I am for adult conversation and also to share daily things with I love to share things about my grandchildren and my great grandchildren and my children I’m as active as you can be but I still miss you so much this one on one communication with another adult I’m a normal human being a normal woman who just likes the simple things in life

        • Barry Soren
          REPLY

          I’m Barry, This 21st. of June I turn 75. As yourself, I am handicapped to the degree I can walk only short distances, and typing goes slowly for myself as well. I paint. Watercolor,pastel, ink etc. May we speak further?

      • Kathy Turner
        REPLY

        Di,
        Wow – I am 63, have severe arthritis; live alone with my 2 yr old Zoe. (Female puppy). My favorite thing in the world is to keep my hands in the dirt. I plant and maintain as many plants as I can take care of. I love to watch them bloom, see them grow. I love cactus and succulents as well. Gardening and being in the yard is the best medicine for me. I stay home most of the time because of the arthritis but, I would love to learn to sculpture, paint furniture , make jewelry – so many things that you could enjoy doing at home.
        I have never thought about carving. That is such a great way to display your artful abilities.
        With all of the things that I want to do and learn to do I am in pain quite often from my the arthritis in my knees. There are times when it does get bad, but I just try to take good care of myself and carry on.
        Well. Maybe we can become pen pals. I am very lonely and halved alone for 5 yrs now. I did not expect my Phase Iii life to be like it has been so far, but I really want to improve the quality of it.

        Kathy Turner

    • Chris
      REPLY

      Dwight Ries:

      Where do you live? My home is Charlotte, NC. I read your message with interest because I’m a man in 70’s who seeks a friend who would be a co-equal sort of person. I live alone and drive.

      Chris

    • Ginger
      REPLY

      It does for some. For many. I used to work with the elderly, and now I’m one. Never thought I’d be one who is so discounted for intelligence and wisdom merely because of my age. Now I’m like a ghost, a nice old lady that ceases to exist once out of sight….in businesses, by politicians, or in church. We are not all the same, and I find nothing stimulating or satisfying about being at a senior citizen gathering of people I have nothing in common with except that we are all old. I do not want to sit and talk about aches and pains and the past, cards and board games bore me. My only intellectual stimulation is online research about a lot of topics, and social media where I get into deep discussions on my Christian faith, politics, important world events. Of course, I don’t list my age, because then I’m more likely to be less sought after for discourse. If the president of the United States can be so productive, intelligent, energetic, at 72, why do people assume the rest of us aren’t?

      • Jim
        REPLY

        5;28 am. Yhats says a lot right there. I stay up late and i have to force myself to start winding down from whatever im into at abot 3 am. Usually cant though. I compose or arrange music and send it to an agency looking for background or film music. It keeps me busy, bur some days im just not into it.
        Ive got things to say too and im not amused at age descrimination ven though I have done it myself
        Getting sick of the lies and false politics and illogical thinking in politics. Seems like pople want to talk about the same irrelevant crap every day. Theres things going on in the world too that we just plain dont hear about anymore.
        Seems like only adversity makes people think outside themselves.
        Do i sound negative? I am and I mean it!
        .

      • Jean L Newey
        REPLY

        I understand. I am only 69 but find most my age whine about aches and pains and “what am I going to do” topics. It can be quite distressing. Been divorced for over 25 years and live alone and keep active by volunteering with people that are as active as I am.

    • Eric Dixon
      REPLY

      I’m 78 and live alone in Portugal. Originally I’m from the UK but moved to Portugal 12 years ago.
      I have two daughters, 5 grandchildren and 3 Great Grandchildren.
      Would you like to chat with me?

    • Mary Kennedy
      REPLY

      I am shocked at how many people on this site are lonely and sound like reasonable people. Maybe everyone should find some way to contribute to society and stop worrying about being “alone” and lonely. Volunteer at some task you are actually interested in and everything will work out. I was in the library recently and met a man who was shelving the books that had been returned that day. I started the conversation and he told me that he was a widower who had no intention of sitting around at home feeling sorry for himself. I asked what else he did with his spare time. He volunteered at the local school to help those whose language was not English. He helped kids learn and he told me he thought they were hopeful for their American futures. I started the conversation. If I had not I would never have found out what this man was doing. Maybe that’s the answer. Get out of yourself and see who is out there, what he/she is doing with this precious gift of life and try to connect with those who share your interests. If you have no interests, it’s time to discover some.
      I am a 79 year old woman who has been a widow for almost five years. The only time I have ever felt lonely was when I was in second grade and my father died in front of my sister and me of a ruptured brain aneurysm. I. have more interests than I can actively manage. If that is the key to not being lonely, it is also an answer for many. of you who feel so alone. It is so important to get out of yourself. Surely, someone can benefit from what you have experienced and learned in your long life.

    • Louise
      REPLY

      Oi am 75 and not needed. Spent life raising four on my own then dads ca then bro emphysema then mom passed. I have never not needed to do or be somewhere. I am lost. My adult kids ass ume a lot due to the n u m b e r of my age. I live alone, bus everywhere. Am an introvert which no one believes….I am today lost. Need to lose weight, exercise, walk….but my butt is glue and days fly by. Oh it’s Friday again. I live in a 62 plus community have been around it since 1998 when I moved muy mother in….everyday with 200 apts 62 plus someone else fails one way or another…I fear new close friends and the loss. I am very blessed to be capable and basically healthy and ashamed I just sit. Which is more weight. Need a life!

    • Linda Harrelson
      REPLY

      I just had a senior moment,I pushed the wrong button and wiped everything I had texted out. For those seasoned saints,age cannot be the variable to believing life is over. We love and we commit and we pray our future blossoms. When something changes,the commitment you entered didn’t stop and people fall out of bed,chairs and trucks not love. Marriage is sacred. If you have no idea why you have stopped being in love,check whether you ever really were committed.
      Each note I read was filled with much just living to know your value,if anyone cares,if you matter. We,at our age need to be the examples for the younger generation of those who think only about themselves. I’m certain none of us were born with a silver spoon,so life has no obligation to provide anything but the raw materials for us to decide we no longer will sit friendless,instead with the pain you’ve suffered,life experience you’ve lived…become someone’s hero. You do crafts,begin doing anything for a charity for children’s hospital,find a library read or mentor those who can’t read. Just because it seems as though the world could care less,shake off the lethargy and become someone’s hero. If you don’t think I speak truth ,take a look around. How many people do you see homeless,younger than you. There’s so much you can do besides focusing on what you don’t have…learn gratitude…learn whether you love or simply lust? Love commits lust leaves when the thrill is gone. We are filled with wonderful untapped potential to share,don’t withhold information from the younger generations that can’t seem to understand what it means to be consistent & considerate. If you are not an example,how will those who need to know learn? Living out your core values shows people that you truly are real,what you say is important and when your actions show what is in your heart words become unnecessary.

  • Claire Owens
    REPLY

    I am retired, in my 70’s, healthy and active but feeling very much alone in my senior years. Love to be around people but find lots of phoniness these days like older people, especially, seem unwilling or unable to just be who they are, warts and all. It took some work but I now like myself well enough (don’t think I’m flawless but like who I am). Got myself stranded out west (Ca.) having moved around some (my home town is Philly, Pa.), married and divorced in Ca., but am resigned to staying here now. My daughter is here so love to be nearby.

    I would love to hear from someone who also feels lonely and who has little or no family to enjoy holidays, etc. with. Holidays are the most painful for me as I love family stuff but have had very little of family closeness. My daughter is fine (we like each other) but she and I don’t have many interests in common. I don’t get to see my best friend anymore as she lives in Florida. The phone is my main source of communication with a few relatives and friends (east coast mostly) and though I do mix with people at church, Bible studies, and art “clubs” (H.B. Art Foundation), I have no local significant friend (to just go for coffee, lunch, shop, talk, encourage each other, for instance) so feel pretty unspecial to anyone in Ca.

    I love animals (especially horses – I am an equine artist), the out-of-doors (especially camping), just plain “hanging out”, games, Vegas, and people in general. If there is anyone who would like to do e-mail, write letters, or phone calls (maybe later), please answer this blog.

    • Molly
      REPLY

      Hi Claire, I am in my 70’s as well & have a horse ( had 2 for many years , had to put her down @ 35 yrs of age ). I have a small farm here in NC . I am very active as well, always a social person but since I have retired feeling lonely & you are so right in saying how hard it is to meet quality people. Accidentally stumbled across this website ( not lookin for such ) & saw your blog. My home state is NJ ( on the shore )… not having any success in sending you this message !

      • Claire
        REPLY

        Hi Molly – I hope I am doing this right and you are getting my reply to your message to me. I don’t get on the computer every day, sometimes 1 – 2 weeks, hence, this pokey answer. How fortunate that you have a horse – I am a lifetime horse-lover but being a city girl, never had one of my own. I did, happily, get to help train two thoroughbreds in Va. with my horsewoman friend (she taught ME along with the horses). Loved it.

        How do you spend your days? With a ranch, I assume you might have other animals besides your horse. I love all animals, have always had more than one pet (mostly cats) but put my last cat down last year (cried a lot for awhile and still miss her). Now it’s really quiet at home but likely won’t get any more. Do you have family nearby? Kids? I just hope this gets to you – I am not very proficient on the computer.

      • Claire Owens
        REPLY

        Hi Molly – thought I sent you an answer but will try again. (my capital letter button does not always work correctly) and I am not always sure my messages go through either. I’m retired, too, and have volunteered (helped out at three horse rescue stables and loved every minute). was glad to see you have a horse. sorry about your one horse being put down – I hate it when I lose an animal friend. they can be your best friends sometimes. (I just put down my last cat after years of cats (always more than one – up to four) I am from Philly and spent many weekends on the Jersey shore (barnegat Light for one). Love the Jersey shore.

        I am kind of stuck out here (Ca.) – long, boring story – been here since about ’68. was married here, divorced, with one child, a daughter who lives about 6 miles from me. she is lonely herself, sometimes, as she is also divorced with no kids. I do live alone and don’t mind so much but love to be around people, too. I make myself at least have some acquaintances but most don’t seem to have any interest in making new friends. a lot of people here (espec. older people) seem to have their support systems of family and friends set up and really don’t need or want to make an effort to include anyone else tho’ on the surface they are nice enough.

        I hope you don’t think I abandoned you and that you will write back. It’s a shame people don’t write letters anymore as it was always a good feeling to hear from people thru the mail. tell me about yourself – N.J., your farm, family, if any, what you like to do, etc., especially your horses. I am an equine artist and love to produce a beautiful horse on canvas. claire

        • Molly May
          REPLY

          Hi Claire ! I wrote you an informative blog but as I sent it my power went off & lost it . Crazy thing to happen …. this was today ( maybe did go thru, just don’t see it ) I’ll wait to see if indeed it went thru, if not I’ll sent you another one ! SORRY for the delay ( explained in my blog ) hope this finds you ! regards, Molly

        • Molly May
          REPLY

          Hello Claire ! I just saw my message on your blog ( they have gotten faster on getting messages thru ) ☺️ That’s a good thing ! Before it took several days. Oh well, I want to thank you for being so persistent in your efforts to get a message to me .. I had checked for a response several times then just got busy here on my property ( growing season started a little early this spring ) today checked & saw your messages to me. It’s a small world, I was married in philly ( many moons ago ) the good thing was my son from that marriage however the marriage didn’t go the distance. I love where I’m from just can’t afford property there ( prices & taxes ) crazy. My sister lives in cape May & loves it . Really enjoy the seaside towns ( great memories ). I have lived on this property close to 18 yrs. brought with me 2 horses a dog & a cat ( which 1 horse is still with me ) 32 year old Arabian ( still beautiful as ever & spunky ). While on this property I have adopted 3 dogs & 3 cats. Still with me my dog of 6yrs old & my cat of 17 yrs old. Precious are both ! I’m at peace with the passing of each one ( they had great lives here on the farm. You have a talent I always wish I had, your an artist ( has to be wonderful & fulfilling ). You had mentioned writing letters, yes it’s a lost art ( always nice to get the mail with a HANDWRITTEN letter waiting to be read ). I can’t complain I have a good life but does sometimes get lonely ( even tho I keep pretty busy ). My knowledge on the computer is not the best, my go to guy is my grandson almost 9 yrs old . My son & his family live minutes away ( but have such busy lives ) . Today life is more complicated for young families then when I was raising my son. I’m jumping around with my message, trying to answer your questions & tell you a little about myself. This morning I had written a message that was in order but it didn’t go thru. I apoligze if this message is hard to follow. I’m going to say goodnight now & hope to hear from you !

    • Karen
      REPLY

      Claire,

      I can relate to Holidays. I have no family. The friends I do have are all male, I worked in a male dominated industry. They are married, so I cannot call them up and ask them to a movie or to go somewhere for a long weekend.

      I have done all I can think of to move forward, although this is not positive,it is truth….” each day is simply a duplication fro the one before.” I remember joy, happiness, friends. For me it is not worth existing, all people need to live, have life. We all need a sense of community, purpose and feel we our loved, cared about. I have none of this. I go out everyday, I volunteer, but it is not fulfilling. I do wonder if I will be here tomorrow. I do not mind being alone, I mind the lonliness.

      Please write back if you feel like it. I wish you well.

      Karen

      • claire
        REPLY

        Hi Karen – It was good to hear from you. You and I seem to have a lot in common. I think of myself as very normal with normal human yearnings as in love and respect from others – family and friends, especially. without it (my capital letter button does not always work) life can be pretty dull even though you love some things about it (horses, for one for me). I was raised in a pretty normal family, a middle child – only girl of three kids and I understand my dad really wanted a girl when I was born (they had a family party for me at birth) but, for some reason, both parents (espec. my mom) never really “talked” to me (no interest in my grades at school, no compliments, encouragement, didn’t teach me how to do anything, for instance – they just didn’t talk to me other than rudimentary small talk). I won’t bore you with much else here, but emotionally, I was starving. Other relatives the same; it’s like I really didn’t have a family at all. some lady above said why do parents want and have children if they don’t want to nourish them and care for them. I asked that very question many times.

        I got kind of stuck out here; california (long boring story) – I do have one child – a daughter who lives six miles away. she is also somewhat alone (she has some friends having been raised here but is currently divorced with no kids. I love her but we have little to no interests in common.

        I’d love to hear more about your own life. I hope you will write back again. If you just wanna write for a while, that’s fine. I’m a little on the shy side, at least at first. I do understand your loneliness quite well, Karen, and I hope you will write back when you get a chance. i hope you will tell me more about yourself, your past, home town, interests. claire

      • Barry Phelps
        REPLY

        Dear Karen,

        I am 65 year old man interested in strengthening my mental health and helping others to find more interest in their lives. I am looking for groups on social media to participate in.

        I am married twenty plus years. We live together kind of like college room mates that are sick of each other and still have six months on our lease. I rode my bike 30 miles yesterday, and am getting ready after writing this to run five miles. In the Spring and Fall I have been section hiking alone on the Appalachian Trail. My hips and knees may not carry me to many more years at such activities.

        Where are older people on social media conversing about staying active, motivated, and helping each other with encouragement and understanding?

      • Elisabeth Bracey
        REPLY

        Hi Karen
        I m married to an American soldier im originally from Germany . We moved around a lot but I’m still very lonely and feel isolated . I don’t fit in no matter what I do . I don’t have the same interest like my husband it makes life more complicated . What im trying to say is married life can be very lonesome and boring . I wish many times I would be alone but can only imagine what it would be like . Elisabeth

      • Christine Hannah
        REPLY

        Hi Daniel I am a 67 year old widow from California. My husband passed away about a year ago. Its not fun and I do volunteer. Would love someone to talk to we just need to be honest with one another and no games. Does that sound good? I just found this today I don’t know how long your post has been up if you already have alot of friends I will understand. Thank you for your time. Chris

      • George
        REPLY

        New here. I’m so relating to many of these stories, saddens me. I’m a 70 year old male, from NY. I have been in a eight relationship with who I thought was my dream lady. Unfortunately, I was blinded by the light. She has left me, obviously didn’t want to deal with my blood cancer diagnosis. I’m now alone, and getting treatment, Very hard and depressing. Prognosis is very good for remission, but some side effects. Every day a bit of challenge. I’ve always been active, long time runner, amongst other sports. Even with treatment I do power walking and some yoga. But still a tremendous void, which is sort of downward spiral. I try church helps somewhat. Not looking for a relationship necessarily, but if one came my way, I’d be ok. But friendship is paramount. Thanks to anyone who reads this

  • Eli
    REPLY

    i am 60m and was born and live in Costa Rica. I have lots of friends, but, the more the merrier!!! I have twin grand-daughters and people often think they are my daughters!! Love working out and reading!

  • HateBeingSingle33
    REPLY

    Feminism has really destroyed many of us good single young men looking for a good woman to settle down with. And now unfortunately since so many of these women are very high maintenance, independent, very greedy, selfish, spoiled, picky, narcissists, feminists, and very money hungry, which certainly has a lot to do with it why so many of us men are still single today as i speak. The women today are really to blame for this mess since the great majority of the women back in the old days were certainly Real Ladies with very good manners and a good personality which they Don’t have today at all. And since i know friends that are having the very same problem today as well, which they really do feel as bad as me since we never ever expected to be single this long either. And now you have the women that have their Careers which they really think their God’s gift to men with their six figure salary which makes it even worse for many of us very serious men looking for love today. And i wish that i could have been born in the good old days which i definitely would have met a real very nice woman since even i myself would have been all settled down by now with my own good wife and family today as i speak, instead of still being single and all alone now which my friends that i know really agree with me as well. And being single and alone all the time can really be very unhealthy and depressing as well. Very obvious why married men live longer.

    • Patrica
      REPLY

      Hi, I’m a 64 year old woman and I completely agree with what you wrote here. Feminism has turned this country upside down! AND, it’s the MEN being blamed:/ There are those who want a genderless society, but both God and Science show male and female differences and it was supposed to be ‘good’! The sexes were supposed to compliment each other’s differences. Only women can bear children. Only women lactate and can nurse their babies. As a former teacher, I have seen what having no one at home to raise children has done to society. Other people are raising these children. No one will ever love another’s child like a parent . You didn’t ask for suggestions, but if you practice a religion, maybe a singles group? Although, religion doesn’t always guarantee a successful marriage there might be a chance for you to find a denomination where gender roles are encouraged and appreciated for what they were intended., to support and uphold one another and make strong family units. For those people who want to raise their children ‘gender free’ they obviously did NOT study Biology 101. Both women and men can bring their special and unique qualities to the marriage. My daughter is a stay at home mom and she frequently is met with hostility because of not having a ‘job’. The most important job on this planet is the raising of one’s children! I feel for you and hear your frustration. My prayers are with you. Persist and don’t give up hope!

      • Ann Smyth
        REPLY

        You are ill informed. My prayers are that you accept changes in the world and mind your own business about the choices of people different from you.

    • Laudemicia Almeida
      REPLY

      Hi dear, you are so young (just 33 years old), for such a pessimist vision. Look out there still many good girls, who’s isn’t money hungry, narcissist, spoiled, greedy, and many other adjectives you have pointed. Maybe you are looking on the wrong places. For sure if you open your heart and stop generalizing woman, will going to find a real nice girl, and you are going to see her as God send gift to you. Good luck!! Be happy no matter!!

      • Mailia Shabazz
        REPLY

        Being alone doesn’t mean a person is lonely, but I desperately am. I’m a senior over 65 no husband or friends. My children are grown and gone. I go days without speaking to people. When I wake up in the mornings sometimes this gloom hits me and I don’t think I can do another day like this. I do get out and go to the YMCA two or three times a week but it’s not enough. I so desperately need someone.

        • Claire
          REPLY

          Hi Mailia – I just typed a blog comment on this site and see that you are struggling with lonliness, too, in your senior years. This is Mar. 16 (2019) so if you want to contact me, there is a web site (e-mail address) for you to use. (foxrest7771@yahoo.com).

          Lonliness is a very painful place to be, especially as we age. Never thought it would be like this. Claire

        • Karen
          REPLY

          Mailia,

          You are free to contact me. I feel exactly as you feel. Often it is unbearable. I have never found myself where I am today.

          Take care,

          Karen

        • Rosalie Garrett
          REPLY

          Hi Maili . I recently lost my Mother. I stayed with her a lot, but had to travel back to be with my husband. I understand your loneliness. Text me and let me know how your doing. Rosalie

      • HateBeingSingle33
        REPLY

        Patrica, Quite a change today in the women compared to the old days unfortunately. Most women were real ladies back then, and the very complete opposite of today since most of their parents did raise them very well back then. Thank you very much for your support.

  • Melissa
    REPLY

    I’m 48 with 5 and 7 year old children. I’m lonely, have no friends, or husband. I’m simply waiting for my kids to get out of high school, then I’m checking out. I have no intention of living single, unwanted, and unloved.

    • DJ
      REPLY

      You know your name means honey in Greek. I think you’re minutes away from falling in love Mellisa. I really don’t think knocking off is a good idea. I mean, god granted life, and we shouldn’t give it away so easily. I think you’re blessed with children. I always wanted them, but was told I couldn’t make them when I was much younger. What ever poison the doctors and specialists put in my brain, I believed them until I didn’t. No one has allowed me the opportunity to prove them wrong. I’m 55 and if I met the right person, I would be happy to prove I am capable of children. But I don’t think the world is ready for the next christ (born of a man unable to produce). Wasn’t the first one from an immaculate mother. It would make sense to have one from the immaculate father.
      Anyways, don’t give up hope. Love is at your doorstep. Remember to hold onto it when it arrives.

  • Steve
    REPLY

    Hi, I am a 64 year old male. All my kids live in different states. I am working a state different than where I grew up. I do have friends back home. But really none here where I currently live. Which is a small community. So all I do is go to work and go home to an empty place. Day in and day out. It’s getting really old. All my family and friends want me to move back home. I can not afford to live there. As the housing is so expensive. I do have a plan to pay off my vehicles. Then after that I plan on taking the deep sleep. I am that lonely and depressed. Never talked to anyone before about this. Just keeping it to myself. Just wanted to get it off my chest. Not looking for sympathy, help or anything. Just wanted to get what’s bothering me out. Thanks for listening. I’m not posting my real name.

    • Beela Joseph
      REPLY

      Hi Steve
      I am from India. Are u shocked. I guess I know how u feel . Though I live surrounded by kids and grandkid’s I feel pretty lonely too. I was so busy taking care of my family , I forgot to make friends . Now I feel lonely and I too feel exactly like u . When it’s time to go , it’s time . Until then Steve live yr life to the best .

      • anne
        REPLY

        Hi I was widowed after 45 yrs of marriage . I met a guy 8 month after and fell in love with him . .We were together 4 yrs , he walked out on me and left me totally devastated. I also do not need sympathy . It feels better for me to post my feelings. I am trying to figure out how to cope.

    • Mara
      REPLY

      Hello, just want you to know that I read your post and also that I think I understand why you wrote it. While you make money to pay off your vehicles and before you plunge into the big sleep, is there someone you can help? Sometimes a smile or a kind word is enough and there are so many in desperate need of a friendly gesture. May your journey be eased and may you find what you need (even if it’s not what you want). M

    • Meenakshi Mallahan
      REPLY

      Hi Eric:
      I am 74+ and have been in U K for three months and now am off to USA…. to FL!!! I’d love to chat with you!!! Long distance friendships are always great…. just remember we will be 6hours apart time wise!!!! Your 6pm will be my 12 pm….I hate being lonely…. so glad got this site by accident!!!
      Regards
      Mea

    • Barb
      REPLY

      Hi Steve,

      Don’t know if you will see this since you posted a few months ago. Anyway, how fortunate are you that you have family who care enough about you to suggest you move back home. I only have a son and his wife. They found out that I gambled away most of my inheritance. I have never asked anyone for anything. They say I have been a burden. They want me to move out of state. My heart is broken. My son will help me, but things will never be the same. Please keep in touch with your family. You are blessed!

    • John T
      REPLY

      Hello Steve,

      I read your post and thought,”Gee, that sounds similar to me”. Then I read further about your “solution”. I hope you reconsider and I hope anyone reading this will also reconsider killing themselves.
      I have run up against those same thoughts several times in life. I could never have planned for the type of hurt that I have been subjected to living this life, things for sure have not turned out as planned. The one thing that has gotten me through the bad places is the thought that Tomorrow is always another day. Not the day I am living right now but another day.
      I am struck by how familiar most folks thoughts, feeling, experiences are to mine. We all stand here with an the understanding of our mortality and fragility of our situations. I will try to bear this in mind in the future and try not to be judgemental.
      Obviously I am lonely also but more so I feel foolish and at times regretful. All I ever wanted to be was a husband and a father. After early dissolution I got sober, got a good job, got a black belt, married a “good” woman and moved to another state to raise a family in a positive environment,(not the Bronx).
      Fast forward, I’m 65, divorced, (married the Devil), lost the house,{put her on deed, she repaid by forcing foreclosure,also stealing 150k}. Forced to move to keep my job. Youngest son just starting college. Move 7 times in 7 years. Retired. Now living in the country on 27a in the middle of nature but all by myself.
      You could say poor guy but I am still here. I am in charge of my life. As long as there is another day there is a new shot at life. During my divorce I thought about killing myself everyday for about 6mo. I’d wake up and look at my .45 and say “not today”. Why? Because it was a new day and God helps them that helps themselves. And as a Catholic I know suicide is a mortal sin. Of course I was good at sinning before I got sober but now I have something to uphold and that is who I have become.
      Life is for living and it is our responsibility to so that as best as we are able.

      0

    • Jack Kramer
      REPLY

      I know how you feel. I’m 55 and haven’t found a wife. I’m now resigned to the idea that I’ll never marry and may as well just swallow a bullet than to go any further alone. You, however, are still young yet. While you are young, there’s always hope. Hang in there. You may be pleasantly surprised at what your future holds for you.

      • Lynn
        REPLY

        Hi Jack I’m 53 and am very lonely and depressed! I feel like my life is over! I don’t even know how I got on this sight and I’m sure I won’t find it again. I just want to wish you the best and hope GOD Blesses you with a long healthy and happy life! I hope you find what you desire Lynn Nazami

        • Suzanne
          REPLY

          Hi everyone, I stumbled onto this blog tonight. I’m 58 and alone. Married 29 years divorced no kids and all my family has now passed. I have a lot of friends but as someone else mentioned it seems there are a lot of fake friends too today. It’s a different world today. Loyalty, honesty, trust, respect was a code many of us lived by. Not so much today. I’ve come up with a saying…. friends not friends. Meaning not real friends we used to have years ago. I do have 3 dogs and always had horses but my last one passed at 26 in November. No more horses for me but I’ve always had dogs and they keep me going. Maybe it’s the unconditional love which seems so rare to find in this world today. I am a peer specialist which is a form of a therapist but we have real life experience, often very hard experience ourselves. In other words we just don’t learn from a book. I see a few who have had hard losses. I have too and yes I do understand. Sometimes you have to walk in shoes to really understand many things in life. Hearing the phases you’ll get over it or time heals all pain are just nice things for people to say when they don’t know what else to say. Sympathy and empathy are two very different things. Few look for sympathy what they want is empathy which is understanding. As we all age I think many of us do feel lonely and it’s very difficult to cope sometimes. We have a lot of the same fears but no one to tell or we don’t want to appear weak. But it is straight up honesty, it’s hard to go thru life alone. Our generations here weren’t really built for a life alone and we struggle. The older we get the more losses we have and we carry the pain of those losses. Holidays are the worse aren’t they? So many happy memories but no one to share them with anymore. I’ve thought many times of the old show the golden girls and how much sense it seems to make today. Sharing a home of friendship of men and women, supporting one another, independent yet a sense of a family. Like minded individuals who share same values just wanting a sense of a family who cares. For those who see nothing but loneliness ahead, you are not alone in your thoughts. They are shared by many but what do we do about it? I’m on the jersey border and many here are from all around the country. What do you think about a shared living concept for those who are alone? Do you think we’d be healthier and happier if we lived with others instead of alone? I believe I would feel much better sharing life with others knowing I had support and help if needed.

          • Kyle

            I think that’s an excellent idea! I’ve been looking for senior communities with no luck. It is only we who really appreciate what we can do and who we are.

          • Claire Owens

            Hi suzzane (my capital button doesn’t work correctly sometimes). You are quite a bit younger than me (I am retired and could probably be your mother) but identified with much you said. I wrote above about how so many people lately are really so fake (or scared to death you may get to really know what they’re like) and just spout off a lot of meaningless small talk (which gets mighty old).

            I am quite alone, live alone tho’ that’s basically ok. what I mean is I was married out here (Ca.) , divorced with one child, a daughter. she’s about six miles from me and is herself divorced with no kids. we love each other dearly but have little to no interests in common, hence, I get lonely and so does she at times tho’ she has some friends having been raised here. I don’t mind aloneness sometimes but really most enjoy time with people (espec. “real” people).

            we have no other family here except each other. Holidays are depressing for both of us so we usually grit out teeth and tough it out. I watch “golden Girls” sometimes and think it is a good idea to find pals to live with to help support each other. Wonder if it’s really feasible, tho’. Maybe some people will write and tell us if it is. I even looked into it once out here. Not sure how you go about it. some people already have their family and friends support system set up and don’t seem to be interested in including (or making the effort to include) anyone else into their circle. a lot of people here spend holidays alone for that reason.

            feel free to reply to this message if you want. I am in ca. (not really by choice), from Philly, Pa. love animals (espec. horses, dogs and cats), love to laugh and let stupid little stuff go by the wayside. Hope you are doing well these days. claire Owens

          • Mara

            Hello, I’m just your age but have no friends nor close relatives left. There are many studies that show how loneliness and hopelessness decrease our physical health. Being so, we should all find ways to live together. The sense of community is really important for our social well being: we all want to be part of something good and joyful. That said, in my country one has to relay upon the biological family net and since I have none, I’m doomed to be alone and on the outskirts of life.

          • PATTY F A

            Sorry this is my first time and long.
            Hi Suzanne. I am 63 and live on the east coast. Your post brought tears to my eyes. Sorry for the loss of your horse. Right now i am dealing with my rescued Maltese of 13 years who has just been diagnosed with cancer and tumors. There is nothing that can be done. The other heartbreaking part of this is, I rescued a Yorkie within 3 months of each other. They have never been seperated. How do you explain where her sister went? It’s ripping my heart out.

            I too wake up so lonely every day. I cry for hours. I think of ways to take my life. It consumes me. The pain of lonIiness has become to much for me. It’s only going to get worse. I’VE done therapy, medication, activities. It’s not the same. It’s that connection that people care and you can call on them for help and vice versa. I cant believe my family who we have stuck together our whole life now see me as an out cast. How can your family do that??I have great friends but life has taken us in different ways. I have a daughter, brother and sister that live leass than 30 minutes away. My daughter got made at me for being honest with her and punished me by taking my grandkids away. We were so close our whole life and all of a sudden I am used for a scape goat for something my daughter did. My family talks behind everyones back, lies and my sister has been telling personal stuff to my family that was to be private for years. I never knew. I WAS SO DEVASTATED!! My flesh and blood. I raised my sister from the time I was 12 and then she had to move out at 28 as she was pregnant. There is so much more. I kept us out of foster homes. My sister is 4 years younger brother 19 months older. Of course there is more.

            Because I won’t let them tell me how to act, what to think, say, be like them, make fun of me and talk about me behind my back and then not be upset . I am now a trouble maker and there’s something wrong with me.

            All my extended family is gone and i would give anything to be with them. When i question my family about why they did or said that they ignore or threaten to block me. THEY ARE THE BIGGEST COWARDS I KNOW!! At least i know i still have integrity, honesty, morals, values, empathy, compassion and kindness in my heart. Having your only family turn against you is not normal part of life. No family holidays to share, hugs, words of love, phone calls to see if your ok, invitation to family events. THE BIGGEST HOLE IN MY HEART AND LOSS WAS MY DAUGHTER RIPPING MY GRANDCHILDREN FROM ME AFTER A LOVING 5 YEAR RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM. I wake up ill every day thinking about the.

            Suzanne, sorry so long. I think the Golden Girls and Boys are worth looking into. Family isn’t always blood related….

          • Paulette

            Suzanne,.
            I have been searching for the “family” you describe in your post. I am 63, living outside of Seattle, divorced for 8 years. I have only Social Security Disability as income as I recently had to leave my last job due to spinal issues. Because I can not find a home of lonely seniors, I live in a “sober” home with others having addictions but I am by far the oldest, have no affiliation with addiction and the tenants change monthly. I have no children and siblings are involved with their own families. I cannot live the rest of my God-given life just existing. I lost everything through an abusive marriage and more abusive divorce.
            I want to wake up with a purpose. I would like to be in contact with those that are looking to live with others like ourselves. Is it possible that this could be a reality? Although I am grateful to have a roof over my head, I have to believe there is more joy waiting for me.

          • Kristina

            Hi Suzanne,
            I think you have the correct insight. I also find when I try to make friends it seems that they are not interested because they already have their own family and circle of friends. Never in my life have I had such a hard time making friends. It all started after I got divorced. Even though my ex and I are still good friends. I moved to SC shortly after I divorced. I have tried to find a few meaningful friends. I don’t want friends that will back stab you or talk about others. I also don’t want to hear about all your health issues all the time. We all have our own health problems. I am a good listener and I would like someone that will also listen to me. I mostly like to be around positive people that like to laugh. I guess it’s hard to find good people these days.

            I too have watched the Golden Girls and have thought how fun that would be to live together with close friends that get along so good. Unfortunately that is not real life. I will say I am trying to sell my home and move to a 55 retirement community. I have heard so many good things about this community. Besides having so many things to do. The most important reason I want to live there is that they look out for each other. I have heard this from many residents.
            I hope my home sells so I can move. It is a huge community with neighborhoods. If I can’t find a few nice friends then I never will. At least I will be around people my age. BTW their is 3200 homes! No one can say to me that I don’t try to change my lonely life. I’m even willing to move. I have gone to meetups, tried to find nice friends in my own neighborhood. Gone to parks with my dog and festivals.

            I just hope my home sells so I can move to this wonderful community. If my house don’t sell I’m thinking of getting a tiny RV and take trips.

            I’m getting pretty desperate to change my life. Good luck to everyone and DON’T give up!

            Kristina

        • Shawn Hughes
          REPLY

          i just wanted to check on lynn ,knowing how she feels i thought i would try and talk to to help if i could brighten her day a little ,,living alone ,being alone highly depressed at times it seems you dont or you aint gonna go on ,15 years ago i was diagnosed with CIDP,same as MS, same as GUILLEUM BURAY SYNDRUM, all three life long diseases only treatmeants no cures …..before this i was depressed ,i was still dealing with being an abandon child i’ve never been able to completely dismiss it because my biological mother passed before i was able to forgive her so that throws another stick in the fire so i’ve dealing with a bunch issues with my father that just keep escalating ,,,sometimes i dont wanna be here for all the pain i feel from it all many years i ran from it i could be around it ,thought it was closing in on me had to keep moving ,,now with the diseases i cant run no more but i still cant face it all ,started me a small busneiuss and i’m putting 14 ,15 hours a day into it get about 3 to 4 hours sleep a day ,,i dont want to live like this ,,and i’m close to running again ..when i read what lynn had writen i just wanted to tell her i’ll be your freind ..everybody needs a freind ,,if she decideds to acept a freindship i’m gonna list how she may get in touch first of all my name is shawn hughes i am 58 years old i live in va ..

        • Debra s
          REPLY

          Hi I’m Deb
          I’m 54 and single my last child just graduated and will be on his own soon. I’m kind of lonely and looking for someone to go places with and enjoy my life now

          It seems that it’s hard to find that someone don t believe he’s out there. I hope he is.

    • Willis Haley
      REPLY

      I’m 70 years old been retired 10 ..Married twice 20 years all together..Just want a friendship..Don’t want to get married but they see you own your House and your Car your doing good they want to get Married..I say can we just be Friends and they say I want something more..I say I can’t do it and its Goodbye.I’m along but I don’t FEEL ALONG..My Sister tells me to get a DOG…

      .

      • Carolyn
        REPLY

        Some women of retirement age, have a lifetime of having their own homes, however modest. Things such as fine rolex watches mean nothing to us. Nice for you to have nice things, but that would never impress me. They are not mine, I did not work for them. Therefore I would never date any man who thought that was all that was important to me.
        Simple and basic, is all one really needs after all.

      • Diane Davis
        REPLY

        I feel the same way, I don’t want a dog, that is what my daughter tells me . Haha ! I just want a friend to travel with and go to events with, so hard to find someone that wants the same. I am in Georgia, what part of the country are you? I am a 67 year old divorced woman, I have lived here for 2 years , I should have stayed in my home state at least I New a few people., now I am here and just don’t want the expense of trying to sell here and move .

        • Claire Owens
          REPLY

          Hi Diane – I think you’re the same Diane who answered my earlier blog. I’m Claire from Philly living just south of L.A. (Love horses and you said you have a small ranch in N.C.) If this is not you, you can answer anyway if you like. =^..^=

        • Julie
          REPLY

          Hi , I hear you, J am 64 and go days without speaking to anyone , the silence is just awful especially at night… I took early retirement due to illness and now don’t seem to fit in anywhere. I guess my life was at work.. I raised 3 kids who are grown with their own families.. I am in MA and just wondering your location, I am remission of leukemia and now wish I had never retired..

      • Gwen
        REPLY

        I am just curious. Why do you not want to get married again?
        If you are lucky enough to find someone that you care for and who cares for you, why would you not want to share your life? I don’t understand this. Yeah, I’m set in my ways and like to do things a certain way but I figure anyone I would love would also have these traits and yeah, it might be tough adjusting to one another. Marriage can be work but I’d rather be happy than right. I’ve always thought the best way to spend your golden years was in a duplex, the hubby on one side and wife on the other. Just kidding, sort of.
        Are you looking just for a friend, or a friend with benefits? What is about being single that makes you want to stay that way?

      • DJ
        REPLY

        Hey Willis,
        My sympathies. You have been lying to yourself for some time now, because you like your space and freedom and don’t like being nagged. This is why you tell yourself the lies about why women want to marry you.
        If you have women to care enough about you at age 70, you have it better than most. Women at that age are not looking to scam you. What they want is for their old fashioned morals to be respected. 70 years ago, women who were not married, but were living with a man were considered less lady like. If a woman loves you, allowing her to marry you is not for what you own outside of your body, its for what you hold inside of you.
        Soon as you stop lieing to yourself, you will see I’m right. Maybe, you needed to lie all these times so the next woman that comes along and wants to become an honest woman for you, maybe you’ll say yes, because you will know its love and not money, that brings joy. Best of luck to you.

      • Kristina
        REPLY

        Hi Willis,
        I’m 68 yr old female. I own my home and car. I’m doing fine on my own. Not all women are wanting marriage. I’m looking for friendship. I seem to get along better with men for some reason. I live in SC near Charlotte, NC Where do you live? If you are interested in getting to know each other, I would like to make some friends.

        Kristina

    • Rosalie Garrett
      REPLY

      Hi Di. I am 64 and have arthritis in my hands. I live in Mississippi. We moved here 2 years ago. My Mom died this past September, she was my best friend. I have not found anyone here I feel I could be friends with. I have 4 fur babies. My cats. All rescues. I now live close to my son and grandchildren. They are always busy. I’m happy for them, but lonely. Take care.

  • Nash
    REPLY

    Hi
    I am Nash, 58, in Ohio, lost my spouse little over a year ago. This adjustment to a new life at this age is full of surprises to say the least. Dating at this age, is even more of a “challenge”. I am just looking for a like minded female to hang out with, do things with that like me, has their act together. Miss the companionship of someone to hang out with. I am very down to earth, no drama, no games, no BS. Exercise, look younger than my age. Like being outside, more of a summer person.
    Why is it so hard to find like minded people?

    • My name is Yolanda Rubio
      REPLY

      Hello Nash. How are you i happened . To be reading what every one IS writing. About there different sittituations. My name is Yolanda i am single but right now taking care of my aging parents. At a crossroads with my life missing someone in my life too

    • Claire
      REPLY

      Hi Nash – just writing to encourage you to just keep on searching. You sound like a great guy (I am a retired senior and am not suitable for you but still know how you feel – long, boring story). There are women out there who would likely love to meet you so don’t give up. Just know that your dilemma is pretty common (but still painful, sometimes). God bless and help you. Claire

    • Katie D. Bear
      REPLY

      To many of the comments, best thing to do is help save and rescue animals. Become lost pet detective. Work, volunteer at animal shelter. The worse you feel, helping one is worse off can bring you comfort and grace.
      Good luck and go with God.

      • Carolyn
        REPLY

        Very True! Helping others is certainly a good way to lift one’s spirits. Course we do have to make time for our own needs.
        Alone in this world after a lifetime of carring for others, i plan on being the best I can be. This year I’m going to make it a point to get out and talk to many more people, just one more dance and maybe a trip or two.

      • John George
        REPLY

        I agree, I am a 56 year old widowed male with no children, low income and not too many friends. I always feel better when I can help. Weather it’s an animal or human. Helping somebody working on a project. I would like to have more friends but, as we know it gets harder after 50 and being single and no kids. Can anybody point me in the right direction. I live in Smyrna GA. I have looked at a few website for volunteer work. But all they want is donations. I don’t make much money. But I would be gladly to volunteer my time and maybe meet new friends.
        John..

        • Claire
          REPLY

          Hi John – Read your blog and you sound like a great guy. My heart goes out to you as some of us somehow end up in some pretty lonely and isolated situations. I am too old for you (in my 70’s) but you sound like you could easily be of interest to some woman somewhere. God bless you. Claire

  • Dennis
    REPLY

    My name is Dennis, Im 49yrs old. Live in NY by myself and I lost my daughter to cancer. My wife divorced me months after the death of our daughter. I still can’t get over losing my daughter I have a great family but its just not the same I’m so lonely at the moment. I believe God does not cause our loved ones to die. Well, By choice I would love to get to know you become a real good friend whatever happens let happen.

    • Bee
      REPLY

      Hi Dennis…. Merry Christmas..
      I live in Las Vegas….yep, can even be lonely out here…but I seem to make the most out of what I have around me and I am not talking casinos because I never go to them.
      Had a beautiful Christmas program last night–lights are great and so is music.
      Write soon if you want.
      Bee

      • Elinor M Morene
        REPLY

        Dear Dennis I am so sorry for your heart breaking tradgey.my name is Elinor .I am a 54 year old widow from nc.my husband died of Alzheime’s three years ago. He was 64.

      • Rosa
        REPLY

        God bless you Dennis, I pray for the peace of God to be with you. My name is Rosa and I also live in New York. I also know how is feel to loose a family member who you truly love, it was my brother die in 2017. Take care I hope you feel better. Chao

    • Linda Davis
      REPLY

      Dennis,
      I am so sorry about your daughter and pray for you. I am sorry your wife left you as well. I lost my oldest son to murder 13 Oct. 1990. He was 20. I know how you feel. It has been 29 years for me and I still grieve each day that passes. Dont let anyone tell you its gets easier cause it doesn’t. Time does have a way of day that go by, I may not think of James, but most days he is with me.
      No writing you for anything, am 69, just letting you know prayers in my daily wake helps.
      God Speed
      Linda
      Ps my husband left me this past friday after 18 years.

      • Libby
        REPLY

        Linda
        My heart goes out to you. I lost my precious child in 2001 and thought I would never adjust . In many ways I have not. It was a tragedy, Life Guard talking to the girls and my son slipped away.
        No one understands . My stupid brother in law was surprised when I was still mourning after 3 months!!!!
        And others gave me a year to “get over it”.
        You do not get over the death of you child.
        If we returned back to our lives as if nothing happened, then something is very wrong.
        This experience can only change you. For better or worse, I hope for better.
        You see the world through different eyes. You walk through the chaff until you find someone that understands. The world is so phony. Even many that attend church or synagogue.
        Thankfully I have my husband of 40 years and my oldest son. And now a new grandson. I must say, that baby truly lifted my heart .
        Life is not about fancy homes and cars, etc. It is about relationships. Real relationships where you feel comfortable sitting quietly with some one, or weeping.
        There is so much sadness in this world. And what angers me are the spouses that walk out the door because it is too hard???? Paleeze!
        That is what marriage counseling is for.
        My faith saved me , even though I first cursed God. He was faithful and I pray you all feel His presence.
        Blessings!

      • KELSEY
        REPLY

        hi Linda,im in the uk. My girl(age 20) got killed +dumped +was left to
        rot for 6 weeks before police found her. that was 12 years ago.
        now my son wont talk to my terminally ill partner ,
        so im stuck in the middle of those 2,visiting my son in secret,
        pretending to partner im not in contact with son either to keep
        the peace. i left home at 16 cos of stepfather abuse +too many
        siblings at home. no privacy.lived with an abusive family friend.
        im now menopausal,suicidally depressed. ive met too many
        deceitful,manipulative so called friends,inc my ex employer
        who was secretly getting my girl involved in wrongful activities+he
        couldve prevented her death. I think about daughter every
        minute of every day +how iv failed as a parent. i should never
        have been born.At least Linda you understand some of my hell

        i go through.please do not any1 mention ANYTHING to do with
        religion. it dosent help. i have no beliefs.i just need empathy ,
        understanding which most people nowadays DO NOT have.

    • Lorri L Frank
      REPLY

      I just lost my husband . Would love to just have a buddy in my life. Been married more than once. But I am not looking for a relationship. I am looking for a friendship. I am 59. I know what loss is all about. My husband died with esphogael cancer. It was a tough journey

      • Bev Ulanow
        REPLY

        I do, so much agree. I want friends, platonic relationships. It seems everyone is desperate for a spouse At 65, I do look younger, but have 50 year old men intent on a relationship, which causes problems with female friendships. Would love just a glass of wine and good conversation. Being in a unique situation, not looking for relationship, can actually get lonely!

      • Bev Ulanow
        REPLY

        Hi, I’m 65, widowed to cancer also. Don’t even know where to begin, I really am seeking a platonic relationship, male or female. Everybody is looking for a date. Wish they had friend sites, for those of us not looking for more.

      • Sandy Santilli
        REPLY

        Hi Lorrie…i am looking for friendship. I live in Denver, Colorado, and I am pretty .uch on my own. I am a “youthful” 67 and ha e led a good life…but now i find myself all alone in my big house. Not sure where to turn or what to do. I would like to share my home with someone too. What a lonely girl to do??
        Sa dy

      • Cindy
        REPLY

        I lost my husband last year to a sudden heart attack. I know how hard it is to lose someone close. I know all about the loneliness. I am 54 years old. I am just looking for friends to write to, I’m not looking for a romantic partner on this site.

    • Joan
      REPLY

      Hi Dennis, I am so sorry about your daughter.
      I am 56 years old widow without kids and would like to meet you and share a friendship.
      It is good to have friends, to talk, to listen to you to go for a walk to relieve yourself of loss and grief

    • Lanie Durias
      REPLY

      Hi Dennis, there are many fish in the ocean, life is to short to be waisted.Your daughter is your guardian angel now,if your wife leave you, her love is not genuine. Pray and do the good thing to others and a good woman from God will be send to you,cheers! This is Lanie from the Philippines., 45 years old widow with 3 snart teen ager son.take care and God bless you.

    • Joan
      REPLY

      Hi, Dennis, I’m so sorry for everything that happened to you. I would like to be your friend, can you contact me. Joan

    • Sad eyes
      REPLY

      Dennis sorry for your loss. Its often hard to find the right words to say when confronted with a complete stranger sharing their loss. I’m not sure what to say, well I can say this never been on this page & god must of led me here for a reason.
      Keep your head up & know know another comllete stranger listened to your story & wants you happy! we all deserve that!

    • dave
      REPLY

      Hello Dorotthea

      Landed on this site via a search phrase ….

      It`s only 1;17 pm, and just sitting in my hotel room with not a soul
      nor family to speak with.
      Just staring out at the eastern Utah foothills now covered with snow.

      Holler if you would like…

      Dave

  • Janet McDonald
    REPLY

    I lost my second husband of 20 years this summer. He was a big man with a big heart . The last ten years were painful and lonely as he gave in to an eating disorder and depression. No different than any addiction. It takes a toll on loved ones. My first marriage was 27 years long, resulted in five children, and was filled with a combination of alternating affection and verbal abuse.

    I understand depression. It has been with me a long time. I have a bachelors in counseling, and just short of a masters in gerontology. But what has overtaken me in the past few months is nearly debilitating. It is not mental. I stay in my pajamas all day. Some days I get a burst of motivation and throw myself into continuing the job of clearing out all my husband’s clutter. I need help getting it all to the car and transfer station. The overwhelming job of cleaning out a garage full of guy stuff and clutter makes me angry. I like not having to answer to anyone about household matters, but the deafening silence is maddening.

    All my kids live downstate and work and are raising children. Before we moved to the north our house was always full of kids, grand kids and friends.

    I know about volunteering. For the past three years I have been a medical first responder on our volunteer fire department . I am also a writer but have trouble getting around to it now.

    Going to the store and roaming around helps. But my cortisol levels are off the roof from years of stress. During the time my husband was in the hospital and for three months after his death I was in an out of the hospital myself with serious intestinal problems, and then surgery. I lost a lot of weight. Now I have very little interest in food, and take frequent naps. What I miss most is affection and companionship.

    • Kristine Knowlton
      REPLY

      Dear Janet, I have struggled with an eating disorders and depression for over 30years. So I can relate to your situation. I lost 2 husbands because of my eating disorder/depression. Now I am alone. Very isolated, and find social situations very hard.

    • Dickson
      REPLY

      I am 50woman I am looking for companionship Perhaps a long term healthy relationship. I look very young for my age very attractive not to sound conceited. Educated masters. I must say in these days and times I do have trust issues expression Li with strange people meet and strange people but I know I have to come out of my confidence own and awarded to continue living my life I feel like I’m dying every day

      • Jackie Smith
        REPLY

        hello Dickson 50 yrs. old and probly look 30 i am 77 yrs.young could pass for 60 i have been told i don’t know where you live i live in Bentonville, AR. in the beautiful Ozark mounts.

        • Kathleen Gutmann
          REPLY

          Hi Jackie Smith.

          I am 71 yrs young. I live in Glendale Az. for the past 6 months. Long Story how I got here, but 6 months ago I lived in a small beach town in N.C. My husband and I of 52 yrs. owned a beautiful home, and our surroundings were to die for. We lived there for 20 yrs. Before that we lived on L.I. New York for 30 yrs. When we retired, we moved to this beach town and built a house, and put 20 yrs. of hard work and love to make it what it was. We came to Arizona sight unseen to move closer to family. Our daughter lived in Arizona for 10 yrs. During most of those 10 yrs. we were not in communication. It was only months after we opened channels of communication that she felt we needed to be close to family. She was living hand to mouth, pay check to paycheck. She moved here for the love of her life, which was a disaster. She became pregnant after just months of living with this guy she moved to Arizona to be with. That relationship lasted 2 years. She now has a ten yr old son, and has shared custody with the father. She cannot leave the state because of her son. The boy has many issues and problems. She knew we had money, ( of which we were giving her thousands of dollars while communicating on the phone) and we were convinced that we should be near family. We bought a house, that was viewed on line. Big Mistake!!!! She and her son live in this house with us. What my life was once, is the complete opposite. I was against this drastic life changing move, but my husband too felt the pressure and was convinced, this was the right thing to do. I am so lonely. I have no reason to get up in the morning. This move did not have to happen. We prepared so well, financially to be able to be independent, and we gave it all up. What is the sense of having money. I am a very good 71 yr. old, and I too do not look my age. I have a very young mind, which I wish I didn’t have. None of our friends would believe how we are living, and neither do I. I wake up every morning in disbelief of what we did. I feel so hopeless. alone and trapped. Our daughter is in complete control of our lives. I try to think of a way to get our lives back, but I have too much going against me. So much more to this sad, sad journey. I need to talk and see if someone out there has experienced what I am living.

    • Mason Peck
      REPLY

      Hello Janet
      I carefully read your posted info o. This site
      I’m 59 and live alone. My very unfortunate
      Is I was married to a female professional for two years.
      I do other her due to selfish angry behavior she was
      Never happy and the master manipulator I couldnt even take a phone cazll from my brother and or best friend at any time. Well I was silly enough to remain with her aunt FOUR months ago she tossed my aside nd no real cloture
      I could write for hours I know how you feel it’s no better for me. No motivation or care
      You are not alone. Mason

      ve slone

    • Claire
      REPLY

      Janet – so sorry for your losses. My life is stressful (or was), too, and I know how painful life can be. I am retired (in my 70’s) and if I can be of comfort to you, just let me know (I am very new to this site – one week – and am not sure how you contact people here) but I will leave my e-mail address – foxrest7771@yahoo.com. Do take care and may God bless you and help you. Claire

  • Olivia Bettinger
    REPLY

    Hi everyone. I am a 55 year old woman who is baffled by all these comments. I have no health issues of any kind and still attractive enough to turn heads from younger men. I believe that attitude is essential when it comes to aging. I had a business once in an area where all the women over 40 complained about the inevitability of the pitfalls of aging. I closed shop and got out of there super fast. This is a toxic mentality that sooner than later becomes contagious. I am so tired of hearing how some people are “just lucky” to age better than others. In my youth I overcame serious illnesses I learned to heal myself through research of many modalities such as Qigong and diet. Ladies, there are ways to keep yourself up physically and yes sometimes as the years pass you have to do things a little more extreme with diet, etc. As for the social aspect of aging, I would suggest to always engage outwardly for example taking classes,, etc. Also from a romantic perspective let me say that my aunt married her last husband, a multi millionaire, at the age of 72. So you see, aging is not the end of the world for women anymore than it is for men.

    • Tony
      REPLY

      Oh Olivia. I’m so sorry you have had these burdens to bear. This earth gig can be a bitch right? The good news is that you get these days ahead of you. Some good, some not so good BUT they are all days. I’ve been married for 39 years now and these past few years have felt somewhat lonely. At the end of the day I’m hopelessly in love with my wife and she with me. We just seem to soldier through it. I’m not sure what happiness means anymore or if it’s even something that can be pursued. So what to do? Well, for me, I do my best to find Joy in anything and everything I can. It might be quick smile from someone I see on the street, or a passing hello, or my sweet little 4 year old Visla dog Stella who makes even my darkest days full of light. Find these precious moments before they are gone each day.

      • Dee
        REPLY

        I turned 55 I have been married 37 years. My husband only needs me for a housekeeper and cook. I feel so alone. I have been force to sleep in a room down the hall because he says I snore and he likes a radio on to sleep. I work night shift part time as Registered Nurse I tried working other shifts during my life but I cannot take the overstimulation I suffer attention deficit disorder and do better in small focused environments such as the night shift work. This can get pretty demanding some nights itself. Lately I feel so sad it’s like I see my life slipping away.
        I have never been a person who liked running around on the road I basically stay home doing nothing most days well I wait on my husband cooking and cleaning.

        Death stares me in the face every day at work and at home as well but death by means of hopelessness. I cannot stand people like the above poster Olivia who thinks it so easy and judges those who cannot see life the way she does.

        • Bill Smith
          REPLY

          Dee, I’m in a lonely relationship also and wife has copd and colitis and sex is not her bag. We had the best sex life any person could want and now haven’t had any closeness or sex since 2011 and I’m 75 years old and just as sex minded as I was when I was 20. Think about it all the time and love my wife but need a FWB now in my life. People may say I’m a jerk or something but I can’t stop my feelings for being intermit with a woman. I would love to find a woman that is as lonely as I and I’m a true gentleman, will treat you with respect and dignaty. Just call me lonely. Live in southern Ohio. Bill

          • Marci

            Hi Bill I’m in the same situation God knows I really desire communication excitement whatever life brings. I took my ex back after he cheated and nothing has changed.
            Would to talk.

        • Susan Moore
          REPLY

          Dee I’m with Olivia on some of the things she is saying. Life is one Journey so begin by finding God, go shopping for a church that fits your needs spiritually, which is also part of your health , the rest falls into place because you let your focus be on number one your master. The Omega that fits all needs, great counselor, spiritual mentor, love, physical healer. Once you allow him to be your first priority then all the things you need begin to take place. You have to have focus off of you. Your husband, well there is nothing God can’t change. The duties at home should be something you enjoy because it makes your life easier keeping things in order. It should be split or hire housekeeper. Tell him the budget will have to be out of his activity extras.lol Find things you like to do at least every other week to give you life back You are a problem solver for goodness sake. Make your list of positives in your life and negatives. Then make a plan to pray for the negatives to change what ever that means. By the way I’m a Registered nurse and I am age 61 and a widow. My husband died after a long illness 18 years to be exact. You are in charge of your life and maybe this is a wake up call. Make a list and change the things you can that you don’t like. Prayers.

        • Claire
          REPLY

          Hi Dee – I am on this site for the first time and am amazed at all the sad stories, yours included. In a nutshell, I am a senior, divorced , no family support system, friends hard to come by as in Ca. (where I live) especially, people are quite phoney. I am living alone, love people of every kind but live a lonely life because the love of people in general is really quite cold and shallow in our world today.

          I am writing you today because you are so very distraught and hurting inside. I hurt, too, but one thing I find helps me fight on and press on is my deep belief that God dearly loves me and cares immensely about my pain (and it is daily pain). This world is a fallen world full of sin, pain, and suffering. But Dee, God so loves you and wants you for His daughter. He can help you bear this. Much of our suffering is our own fault but much of it is because of the sin and selfishness of other people.

          My heart goes out to you because, even though I cling to my faith in God , I too, suffer because of what others have done to me. I hope, and am praying for you, that you, too, will give your heart to your Savior (Jesus) and to your Father, who loves you dearly and wants to strengthen you as you face the selfishness of your husband. Giving your heart to Christ will not solve every difficulty in your life – Jesus, Himself, said it would not be easy down here on Earth – but you will have hope at last in One who will one day give you true life as it was always meant to be . Claire

    • jwaas
      REPLY

      This post seems callous and mean spirited. How’d you stumble across this site if you weren’t actively searching. No offense but get some help.

      • Mofreh Sarhan
        REPLY

        Hi Dee
        I understand very well what you are feeling and I am very sure that you are very love and affection given , and my heart goes to you , I am 68 year old man I am treated the very same after 39 years of marriage with it’s ups and downs with the results of flute growing up three men’s and final medical student daughter but back up to 15 years my wife discovered that she cannot sleep because I snore and I haves used every available device and sprays to stop , been asleep I don’t remember or wolkup or kicked by my wife but still complains she can’t sleep
        So I have to sleep in the box room for over 15 years on a single bed
        Now it has reached the state we do not compuncat at all and I suggest to seek family conuceling and was refused , I feel alone with my family and deep loneliness, missing the empathy, love , companionship and happiness even the family all taken mother side
        I only fee I am only a financial security that’s very heartbreaking and disappointment in human race
        I am returning pharmacist and I feel I am way into deep depressing state of mind, I feel I will be happy to get out of the house and live alone with the compliance large dogs

        • Linda Harrelson
          REPLY

          I found this site a few days ago,looking to find seasoned saints with whom I could enjoy a bit if camaraderie;instead I feel as though I’ve stumbled onto a senior citizens pity party,everyone playing a victim …but guess what? There’s only one victim chair,so with all of the intelligence that I believe is within the corporate group,I believe taking a moment to stop to focus on how lonely ,depressed and mentally disabled if for only a bit you would acknowledge that not every moment of your life has been
          heart rending but you have been happy and for some reason someone has passed around the Kool-Aid of believing life has no reason because you are older. I’m a product of dysfunctional parents(my mom a woman-child) who never said we kids mattered,she never told us we were loved,no hugs and kisses.If you fell down,there wasn’t a mom to kiss away the boo-boo. I watched my parents physically fight,weapons were discharged and we kids became the collateral damage. The hypothetical story of 2teens who had an alcoholic dad,one became a drunk the other became a successful business person. Just because life throws horrid things your way,is no reason to allow the negativity to be embraced. I’m sure some of you think I’m extremely horrible,however,I lived in hell growing up. I knew that I wasn’t going to have a chance to go to college as other kids in school and even when I wanted to get a job after school to learn how to be responsible my mom became incensed and she physically punished me and refused to speak for a week. I didn’t know then,she was mentally unstable,however,I chose to leave home after she almost killed me because I at 16 didn’t want to date a married soldier. When I joined the military,it was hard,however,I realized my life could become whatever I decided I wanted to pursue. Working diligently,I went to several military schools and
          ,found out I was capable of so much more than I had been told.–(growing up,the same phrases,you’ll never amount to anything,no one will want a stupid girl like you ) my S-dad couldn’t understand why I continued studies in college,he asked if I was that stupid I still had to go to school? I knew in my heart the day I stopped learning would be the day I’d die. Today,I’m retired and yes,I do live alone…most males have been raised not to be a husband but simply to find another mother. I was naive which cost me a lot of pain and heartache,however,I heard a tv preacher one Sunday I had come back from a woman’s shelter because my husband had attempted to take my life,(he was arrested for attempted murder.)…The preacher’s message “Forever a Victim,I Don’t think so”! I bought the tape series and listened and applied what was shared. I went back to the shelter,retrieved my belongings,came home and made a choice. Happiness is my responsibility,it’s not someone else’s place to keep me happy nor will everyday be sunny and trouble free. In the military a saying,YOU’RE EITHER PART OF THE PROBLEM-OR THE SOLUTION. yes,I could sit and feel sorry for myself or I could use the mess I’d lived through and make it my message. I decided to surrender my life to Jesus,not in mental assent but truly submit and surrender. I,too, believe that years ago young women were taught their place,social graces and men were men who had a job not simply looking for a woman to take care of him. When I began to see those I’d loved had all passed,I realized that it was difficult if not impossible to find a gentleman that didn’t expect payment of sex for a dinner and movie. I made a choice to be acquaintances because friendship is a commitment that few people today know how to honor. I don’t think because I’m 66 that I have no purpose. I believe God as my creator is the one who has given me abilities and it’s up to me to look within and find the untapped resource that is not being used. As long as God gives you breath,you wake up,HE has a purpose for you. Militarily,we filled slots,with God’s kingdom,we all have a gift that only you can do,because you have the gifts and talents. The lady who stated she was a peer specialist,knows what it means to walk in another person’s shoes because of first hand experience. Watching the world we live in today,it’s not the good old days,and I don’t expect to see those days again. I believe just as you can’t go forward in a car looking always in the rearview mirror,neither can you overcome the mental mindset that has convinced people that age has to be empty,loss of hope and being alone doesn’t mean you have to be lonely. I believe the choices we make today,the words we repeatedly say form our tomorrow’s. Recall,I was a kid from a whacked out dysfunctional family but I chose to change my words. I began to frame my world with positive words,I refused to accept negativity as a mindset even though many times my family would deliberately ignore me during holidays…and yes the holiday season can be very lonely however,if no one else toots their horn for you,give yourself a party. Happiness is born from within not without. If people aren’t the author of your happiness…they can’t take it from you. I really wish with as much love,respect and understanding to challenge each of you to think about your self-talk. Learn to be kind to yourself. Don’t wait when you see a need,be a hero to someone who you never would have thought was hurting. A famous psychiatrist was asked what was the best cure for depression.His answer,was to get dressed,go out into the street,find someone who was in far greater need than you,and be kind to them. Jesus says in the Holy Script ‘as we give to the poor,we lend to God ‘ ….I know pain and I despise it,however,if I succumb to allowing it to control me,I become a prisoner of my own making. Learning to forgive is the antidote for bitterness. You think if you forgive the person who was guilty of hurting you is without punishment,forgiveness allows you to become free and opens your future for what ever choices you decide. Choosing to focus on the negativity of what you’ve been through,robs you of the opportunity for freedom to welcome your tomorrow’s with a positive attitude. I,in no way intend offense,however today,it seems unless you tell people only what they want to hear,not what will help them,people carry xtra offenses in their pocket. I share my heart because I truly care about people.If you knew the road a person was going down was dangerous and could destroy a life,you’d readily do what you could to help others be safe,I have been down the road,I hope someone will heed the words I share because I truly care.

      • Marie Fallon
        REPLY

        Hello Claire, This is my first time on this site. Your post caught my eye as your are really the first one who mentioned God. As he is the reason we are here. Also I believe you mentioned about the holidays and being alone, I believe that was you . I can relate to that also as I have no family left, no children No one the holidays are hard , I am almost 62, was an only child. Was married to a man who … abused and took everything from me, so trusting is an issue for me. Therefore, I keep to myself pretty much . I am a person with a big heart who cares about this world that is not the same any more sadly. I volunteer, rescue dogs and cats from Asia, yet, I am still alone . I have a purpose,, why I was put here, but still , I am from the northeast, and stuck in the south, where there is not much in the way of chances to interact with others. No culture, lol or many people for that matter, I am looking to move, just not sure where a single 60yr old alone can go. Without knowing anyone. I’m basically shy . Anyway I know loneliness, and if one doesn’t interact with others, one can sink into depression. Well Thank you for bringing up God. We need him . If anyone wants to talk, I am here.

    • Bonnie
      REPLY

      Olivia, No offense intended, but just because you have not experienced the same thing as other seniors doesn’t mean they are not real. Due to forced retirement, loss of my home, a move to a different state and miscellaneous health crises I am experiencing a serious social disconnect and I don’t know how to reconnect. Perhaps with your successful life and your great knowledge you can tell me how to do that since you know so much about the individuals who post on here.

      • Diana
        REPLY

        Hi Bonnie, I’ve experienced the same serious, and it is serious, social isolation. I’ve never had this before and really struggling with depression. over the last year and has gotten to be a way of life and now it’s hard for me to even get out to go to the store. I miss my friends, everyone has moved way and I am retired with no way to meet anyone. I just wanted to say I know how you feel and if you need support, we could talk.

  • susan king
    REPLY

    I am 57 yrs old with an mind of an 18 yr old. Have been through a lot in the last 10 yrs. Am living with my 22 yr old son in an apt for the past yr and a half. He now wants to move on and get an apt with his gf. I am low income and have nowhere to go. I am so alone. My 2 kids are trying to look for a place to dump their mom. I have nothing left to live for. They are the only family I have and I feel like my life is over now. I do not like being alone,yet I will never live with strangers again. I was just starting to feel safe until my daughter got an apt with her guy.My son thought about it and now wants to live with his gf. Which leaves mom out. After all the yrs I raised my kids and sacrificed everything,I am now at a dead end. Literally. The feeling of dread is with me everyday. This became a thing the day after Thanksgiving when my daughter visited us and it seems both of them got to talking.All of a sudden there is my daughter on her phone looking for places to put me. Seriously? I love the outdoors hunting and fishing,animals, classic cars,camping, and traveling. I have so much to give, yet I feel like I am wasting air. It is sad that a person can feel worthless and who has to worry about where she fits in the world. Oh, I’m sure if I won the lottery or had money coming in continuously, it wouldn’t be so bad. But now, I feel I am done. It is a harsh world for people who are about to be left out.

    • Noelle
      REPLY

      I get it I’m 68 and have been here taking care of my now 94 yr old mother that was a harsh brutal mother to us 4 children I was the black sheep and the only reason I’m here is to take care of mother and I have no place to go but there is live in work which helped me in the past or at least til you get on your feet there are also a couple of places up north to live in a hippy commune and then there is Coolworks.com where you can get a job in a resort setting some have live in facilities and then you can get a small camper or learn to live in your car until something pans out but the live in job is what’s helped me and advertise ….. you get room and board 1-2 days off start socking the money in a bank good luck

      • Dickson
        REPLY

        App sleep Hi my name is Delors I suffer from I was wondering if anybody could give me any advice I’m 53 years old I live alone I don’t have any family I don’t have any friends. I have 3 children they are older and the stranged living their life do not see much of them. I took for granted raising my children I gave them all a vein I forgot to do anything for myself and clothing a social life noun I’m 53 and alone can somebody please tell me where to the lonely go?

      • Debra Kilgos
        REPLY

        Susan King , Hello ,,
        Wow , do I get it , I am 60 yrs young and have been preparing for the thing you face , I also face , how scary can life get !!!! Although I am not rich , I am planning on traveling , I am all alone even though I have a daughter and son , I love them so , but my addiction to them has been money motivated on their parts ,they are WELLL to do should something happen to me , in the meantime , I am going to try to hit the road and be a road Warrior , yuppers !! Time to site -see and wonder in a bit of style , I am a SWF , not looking for any sexual stuff !!!! I am looking for someone who may want to travel and be Thelma / Louise friend , without the running over the side of a Canyon , Lol !! I have the truck and the new travel trailer and the income , I would love to speak , should you think this is up your ally .. Ms. Sami

        • Jeff
          REPLY

          Hello. You have a wonderful attitude. I have to go to California for a few reasons and drive back east. Do not want to do it alone. Very good references, no smoking etc. I don’t think of myself as senior but a friend said I should check this out and I do admire your free spirit attitude.

          • C Brown

            I would love to do this, but don’t have a home base or a place to come back to that is home. lost everything in a recent divorce. have some $$$ put away but dont know where to go or what t do. the friend I was living with told me I have tore out by April when she and her husband return for their winter home… I am in a very isolated very cold climate.. I need someone to reach out to me and pull me out. my son is in Seattle with his family… but living their own lives. I can’t afford Seattle on my own… venting here.. sorry.. but Thelma and Louise… sounds great if only I could… I’m turning 60… look younger and am so lonely and afraid

        • Denise
          REPLY

          Hi, I am 65 years old. Divorced when my girls were 1 and 4. They were with me 95% of the time, so I never dated… my choice (I guess). I worked from home; they were my focus…along with earning enough to support us comfortably. My social life was wrapped around them, volunteering at school, hanging out with the moms of their friends. I have great memories. But now they don’t have time for me, I’m still working since I helped them out financially over the years.
          My job recently screeched to a halt. Much of my socializing was tied to my business. So that has stopped and I just feel too exhausted to make friends, join clubs, etc. also have had to have a couple of surgeries which has isolated me even more.
          I want a ‘new best friend,’ or a guy friend to just fall through the ceiling and appear on my bed next to me, laughing and watching a movie.
          I relate to feeling stuck geographically (in SW FL).
          I feel like I woke up at 65, alone, without a plan for the rest of my life…
          I’ve suffered from depression all of my life…luckily I can laugh at myself.
          I feel like there are so many opportunities, and yet there are none.
          I really didn’t expect my life to be like this! It’s so hard!!

      • Rick
        REPLY

        Im 61 yr old mannever married hunt fush still want to do things low income.have 3 weiner dogs which give me a reason to live!

        • Jean
          REPLY

          Hi. Rick
          I’m in l;ate 60’s, never-married, with a Chiweenie (dachshund+chihuahua) who is my angel dog that got me thru the loss of my beloved parents (there certainly were no humans around who gave a damn.) I rely on God and my little dog and at the moment it seems to be enough. I’m in Central Oregon. Do you want to email ? Three “weiner dogs” – cracks me up just thinking about that !

    • Sandy
      REPLY

      Hi Susan,
      When reading your story I felt a kind of kinship with you, although I have no children. I’m not sure which is worse, having children who make you feel unwanted and unloved or having no one who is supposed to love you.
      I too am 57 yrs old and low income. I have no siblings and my parents are in poor health and live 5 hrs away. I am living with a man whom I do not love as a husband or even a boyfriend. The past 11 years have been very rough for me, my “boyfriend” had a major heart attack and now is on Disability. It has been rough for him as well but I feel that I do not exist anymore. His needs have always come before mine and now more than ever.
      I work a full time low paying job and live in a 40 year old mobile home which used to be his mothers, so I too am struggling with depression and feel like I am stuck in my situation. I cannot abandon him because I would not want anyone to do that to me.
      So what do we do with ourselves?
      I’m not a very religious person but I do believe in God and am trying to leave it all in his hands and praying that my future will not be as bad as my present. I feel that’s all I can do.
      I will pray for you as well, hang in there! Hopefully everything will turn around for both of us real soon.

    • Richard
      REPLY

      Hi Susan,
      Saw your letter on Senior Planet. I’m feeling for you, believe me. I’ve just lost my wife Nov. 16th of this year and am still in disbelief but trying to return to my routine. Thankfully I have 2 wonderful daughters who are watching out for me continually. It’s hard for me to understand your children treating you that way.
      Feel free to write me if you’d like. I would like to know how you are doing.
      By the way I’m not young but I don’t feel 73 and I’m in good health and enjoy my life.
      Sincerely, Richard

    • Tony
      REPLY

      Pleaser remember this….emotions are like the ocean. They rise and fall but the waves keep coming. Your life keeps coming. What happens if you decide I won’t let life just happen to me here. I’m going to get proactive and find a way to start a new adventure in life. Maybe it’s a business of your own that starts from a little taco stand like Chipotle. Maybe it’s a diary that turns into a book. Purpose in life will find you if you’re only willing to seek it. Be like a dog to a bone on this one. Until the Almighty pulls the trigger to bring you home you’re not done! Pursue life and be relentless about it. The opera isn’t over till the fat lady sings and I don’t think you’re that gal K? GO FOR IT! You’ll find a new happiness will overcome you that you thought was never possible. Trust me, I know.

      • Sallie Gibson
        REPLY

        Hi Tony, thank you so much for your inspiring sensitive words. They resonate so much. At the moment I struggle with lack of confidence and turn to spiritual books for comfort and reflection. Thank you again

    • Dickson
      REPLY

      Hello Susan my name is Delores . I am in exactly the same place you are I am very lonely I live alone I don’t want to be alone looking for friend if you are interested in converse and I’m going to leave my email feel free to contact me I know what loneliness feels like it’s just another day of despair you have to look forward to it’s a horrible place to be alone.

    • Jackie Smith
      REPLY

      hello Susan King where do you live i have a big beautiful home i am a 77 yr. young widower i live in Bentonville, AR. if you are close i might could help.

    • Wayne goachet
      REPLY

      Shuttles in Lafayette right near category. Except I’m not homeless I lost my wife 5 years ago. I live in California and I just couldn’t afford expensive lifestyle in California. So I moved back east the Missouri was born and raised Perico to my son’s here and I have one son. And we’re close but the only problem is he has his life. And I understand I don’t feel comfortable moving into it. So I live by myself. I love fishing hunting classic cars that’s what I was into four years. I’m 73 I was married 51 years. I never 7 days. And we got married.Yes and it definitely gets very lonely for me I am 73. I said I don’t look at but that’s beside the point. Definitely don’t have a 73 mind. It all turns out to be a scam because they want me to send money..

    • Jeni
      REPLY

      I agree. Holidays can be difficult to get through. When you’re an empty nester and feeling all alone such as myself. It would be nice to have someone to talk to and possibly go places. I am 59 years old and still working a full-time job. I find it very challenging to meet others.

      I live in Illinois, outside of Chicago.

      Jeni

      • Nany
        REPLY

        Hi Jeni
        I am 72 also live in Illinois Trying to decide what I want to do with my life to. I have my Dads house which I am working on to sell Not sure what I want to do . Have a hard time meeting others also .
        You say you are outside of Chicago . Is that north or south I live
        Lake Summerset
        A lot of people from Chicago have second homes here or retired here.

      • Debbie Knaack
        REPLY

        Hi Jeni,

        I am 56 years ole with no children and also live south of Chicago, I know how you feel and the holidays make it even worse. If you’d like to meetup and make some plans, please reply. Deb

  • Mary
    REPLY

    Hello,
    I am 55 year old women and I have Hashimotoes knee arthritis and I tore my meniscus a few years ago, due to all of this I don’t leave my apt. much except for medical appointments.

    I am look for people who would like to talk on the phone, emails and messages take too much time.

    I have a daughter I’m estranged from and trapped in a horibly neglectful marriage.

    I live in a borough of NY and hoping to move upstate soon.

    Reach out if you would like friendly companionship.

    • Susan Mickel
      REPLY

      Hi Mary: I would love to be in contact with you. I am sorry about your marriage. I had one like that. My daughter is also estranged off and on. I have a son who I am in contact with several times a week. I am 65, single and live alone and get lonely, too.
      Susan

    • Andrea
      REPLY

      Hi, my name is Andrea. I live on Long Island in Nassau county. I too am in estranged relationships with 2 out of my 3 girls. However, I have an empty nest life and in a very estranged marriage. I am very lonely and looking for people to become friends with and just talk. I am so alone. I don’t know where you live but I hope you see this letter and just maybe we can become great friends. By the way I am 63 yrs. old. That might be too old for you but I can still relate. Hope to hear from you soon. From, Andrea Brown. I’m

        • Elizabeth J. De Luca
          REPLY

          Ok ladies. I’m 60 years young. My husband in a nursing home since 2009. I’m not interested in dating. I was in live but I’ve been grieving him ever since his diagnosis in 1988. We married in 1981. Had our son in 1984 had our daughter 1988. In 1992 my husband. Old no longer do his own adl’s , I was his sole caregiver and I was the financial provider to my now adult , married, successful children. In 2004 i I was found to have a rare cancerous disease( a genetic issue on the part of one of the biological donors my mother slept with turns out the other kids were fine. I’m estranged from my small family my mothers preference. Turns out 2004 had me in sloan for two surgeries my son then 20 in 2005 had his surgeries he has the same thing and then my daughter then 17 surgeries in 2006 . I
          2007 husband had a heart attack while stair skating and we kept taking care of him at home. He learned to do life all over again but now the dementia from chronic progressive Multiple Sclerosis was so controlling. I couldn’t ask my daughter for the help he needed n my son well too much. The ostrich left. Both kids incredibly married n both my children are extremely successful. They have their own friends, watch their health n keep all their appointments with the life long mists at sloan Kettering n.y c. Yes; we laugh, we’re grateful! I did several years with chemo it doesn’t help. So I have a central pic li e because I gave up the port after an infection with my port. It was an infection I could do nothing about . It came from my body disliking the Hubert needle. So life has been a tad rough. I worked until 2 years ago. That’s when Mayo in Rochester Minnesota accidentally perforated my only left small intestine. Yes my daughter was told I wasn’t going to survive yet I did. I can’t work I have an 8 hour hydration infusion 7 days a week to stay alive. My ileostomy from my mayo surgery requires the help of htdration. Talk about a drag. My kids successful married and happy with something I lost while a caregiver and mom: FRIENDS and get this mantra are their colleagues close to my age. However I’m told u need to find my own friends! I did parenting correct, they are independent, happy despite it all. All of our lives have been invaded by illness that came as unwanted visitors to over stay their visits to our bodies. We move forward. I’ve done it all. What I’ve been in sear h of is friendship. I’m not interested in inserting myself into any male persons life. I’m interested in friendships to last my lifetime, to laugh, have fun, shop, talk, just be real. I don’t dabble in social media as I found it to be more detrimental than positive for me. Either there is too much coupling, family happy together( I dont have) friends that out did me with success, timeshares, early retirement ( women look at me as a threat) really. I can’t believe it myself. The others I can’t keep up with their lifestyle so they left me. I’m funny as hell given a chance, creative and just want to live life not exist. So if you have room on your friendship list I live on the East End of Long Island. For Christmas I would live a friend or friends to talk . I feel like I’m on an isolated island. How could this happen ? There are so many people in this world and I’m friendly it’s just not enough. Also, I’m told I look younger than my years. My heart feels high spirited n happy when I dont feel so alone. Mt daughter doesn’t have time for me between marriage, her life, her friends her career, her home, her husband( not in that order) I’ve tried various meetups but the ones I’m interested in for friendship state on line their “meet ups ” are full. Their membership three people. Seriously? I’m not in favor of traveling to n.y.c. it’s just not me, I don’t want to hang out at fast food joints. Other than that I’m an open book. No mysteries. My only con tact now is a phone conversation weekly with a woman , 80 yrs. Old who won’t leave her home. She has no interest .she has a gaggle of grandchildren and growing numbers of great grandchildren. My children can’t have their own children. So no grandchildren for me. I wish for grown up friendships without it being my daughter who is too busy. So if you like keep me in mind

      • Faye
        REPLY

        Home alone sucks. My husband died my grandson was murdered.there’s no point I want to go there’s nobody I want to see and I don’t want anybody to see me. I’m just so tired of everything

        • Mailia
          REPLY

          Hey, Faye

          I hope your doing better. I just read your post and I feel somewhat the same as you. I could use a friend and it sounds like you could too

        • Tina-Marie
          REPLY

          Hi Richard, I am in Texas as well….where are you? I am currently in Arlington looking to move to North Dallas area about an hour away from here. I am 59, will be 60 in January. I was married for 30 years and have been divorced for 10 years now.

  • Suzanne M
    REPLY

    I am in a small town in NE Ohio. Would love to meet people my age. I am a 62 yr old woman who keeps myself up, church goer, love the outdoors, love animals especially my dogs, like fishing, camping, yard stuff. I have had a crappy adult life. Never have known what real love is like as I never had a good marriage or a good relationship with a good man. I was adopted too so I have never felt like I belonged anywhere. I moved here to be closer to my kids but rarely hear from them. I have no friends here except for my church family. Nothing here for people to socialize. There is a senior center but they are way older than me and all know each other.

    • Eva
      REPLY

      I read thousands and ten-thousands of comments from people who are very sad to be alone yet none of them has been trying to contact the others to form a group and move to another town together and live in the same building or neighbourhood. Lets discuss our needs and capabilities, find a place and a life style that will be suitable to everyone in the group and work towards to realize it. Living in another country can be a good option also.

      Okay, I go first and give you an email address that I can discard if I get replies from some sick people, its worth to try:
      hkcomeandgo@gmail.com

      I am a female senior, divorced and living alone. Absolutely no romantic connections.

      hk

    • Patti
      REPLY

      Hi, I’m a 55 yr old woman never married no kids and a medical professional. On paper probably look great. I make friends easily but through rhenyears treachery or something losing contact has. Lost them alll. I have no one to call when I need to talk. Prove a is huge part of,it. Fear is a huge Part or it. HwT to do ina few years a.one and a woman whose no real physically strong living in the middle of nowhere. Not to mention I’m an lonely and depressed and anxious as a person can be. Modern medicine has been a joke.

      Is this it ? I’m so scared and my 2orst nightmare actually happened. I’m your 20 and 30’s you know deep down you still,have a chance , I feel my chances are gone. Huge student loans. Renting so no paid off mortgGe as I should have.

      I’m so damn lost. To meet me you’d never know it..

      My dog of 8 years just died a long sad dec.ine with demetia.

      I Can’t seem to get interested or focused enough to really build some hobbies but flowers did help this summer but now it’s grey for the next 8.months in upstate ny.

      No baby (my dog). Nothing to hold my interest . Menopause brain.

      I’m no good for the online thing. These men see me coming a mile away plus I am in too bad of shape to even think about it.

      I feel us women who are mostly normal with major issues and over 50 are screwed.

      Thank you for listening. I am ,ost and da. Near ending it

      • Adrienne
        REPLY

        Patti, I’m certainly almost exactly in your shoes. I am retired medical professional. After leaving work and my babies (2 kitties) I have no family n or friends. Differently, I married nine years ago. Think I was looking not to be alone n have a partner later in life. To my surprise two years in I found out he’d fooled me and is adult Asperger’s autism. It’s horrible of horrible. He had health issues and of course I jumped in. That became my life, an extension of work, getting his health issues resolved. I was so busy even after autistic diagnosis, getting his health fixed I paid no attention to losing my life, friends, hobbies and activities I enjoyed. There’s too much of that except to say I was his primary caregiver and many said that’s why he married me…He never was a partner as I wanted in marriage and financially after retiring early, I need his income to stay in my house until I can sell it and then move n separate. He’s told me he’s going with me because he’s got nobody… well life has gone to nothing. For a while I went to a church I loved but he hated how close they were and we went to another place. There I never had friends n no resource info. I’ve settled into doing nothing almost daily except think how can I find myself again or should I. Depression n anxiety drive me further into isolation. A therapist had me join group at senior center but those folks aren’t me. I have nobody to call n talk for real. I used to love cooking but that became a burden cause he’s out of control n eats all in sight yet doesn’t cook or know how. I got hurt bringing n groceries last May cause too heavy fir him n him so so slow. Surgery to fix my quad tear started even more down spiral. He just went completely far out that I get nothing. He’s ruined my house I had 36 yrs before him immaculately. He complains about money cause no paychecks from work but refuses get part-time job. I did go back for a while but coming home to him ended that. There’s so much I don’t want to bore you. I just want you to know you’re not alone n spirit. To me having spiritual life is great yet I need contact n socialization I had easily before. Finally I tried a senior community n was told too expensive and I’m too young fir most….I’m lost now n dejected. Live on East coast near Washington DC. Don’t know how to connect if you’d want since this is public site. Perhaps if we reply again I’ll share email if you ok w that. Reading your info helps I still know need to do something as well as talk.

        Adrienne

      • Catherine
        REPLY

        Hi Patti. I can very much identify with your note. I am 63, have had some spine issues and very limited in my activities. Before this happened about 7 years ago I was traveling as a RN consultant in the medical field, I had a big circle of friends, children who loved and respected me, grandchildren, and a husband. Since my medical issues began I’ve not been able to do the things I used to, and my friends drifted away until there was no one left. They all loved me when I was entertaining, and when I was down – they lost interest in me as if I were bringing something negative to their lives because I had to spend so much time at home or in bed.

        My children used to think i was smart and contemporary, and I was always doing nice things for them like help them with money issues, babysitting, and making family dinners. Once I became unable to offer them anything, they began to treat me in a condescending manner, acting like my texts or calls were a bother and they just were gone as I had nothing to offer. Now they respond to anything I say like I am ridiculous, roll their eyes, tell me they do t have time for me, and say hateful things as if they are annoyed that I bother them. I’m amgry about that. They have take been happy to take all my money, but now that I have no money and can’t stand up long enough to make a meal. For thanksgiving coming up they are al coming to my house. I’ve told them it’s very hard for me to make a meal and that I can’t stand up for long, and not one of them offered to bring a dish, but they are bringing their families. I feel used. They talk about me like I’m a fool, often to my face, and they call only when they need something. They ask me to babysit even though, even though I can’t handle it for any length of time. They are very rude and condescending and disrespecful. If i say anything about their behavior I just get hateful responses.

        I have a husband, but he barely speaks to me and when he does, he says the same three sentences every day, has began making all the decisions without my input. He travels every week and takes female coworker out for meals and flirts, but of course lies to me, and for some reason I’m always made to feel like the jerk if I say anything about his lack of interest in me.

        Overall, it’s been very hurtful to discover I don’t have anyone who loves me enough to Include me in their lives when I have nothing to offer. Like you, I sometimes just want to end it. Am falling asleep but would love to know if you could use a pen pal. Maybe we could be that and help each other out. I’m going to send this before I fall asleep, but let me know if you’d like to write. Take care. Hope we can communicate and give each other someone to talk to. Take care, hope to talk soon.

      • Ann Bellwood
        REPLY

        I read your letter. I understand how you feel. I have lost so much lately as well. My once in a lifetime dog Buddy died 3 years ago and I miss him every day. Losing him was harder than the death of my parents and brother. I just got a rescue senior dog whose owner had died. She was in a shelter for 9 months. She is so happy now and so happy when I come home. It has helped me immensely. Adopting a kitten if you like cats could help you as well. It was just my first thought for you.

        • PATTI KICKLIGHTER
          REPLY

          Hi friend,
          I, too, am 63 and in a loveless 34 yr old marriage. My husband is married to screens, and spends all his time away from work in front of them. Together, we have three grown sons who have gone on to make lives for themselves. Whilst the boys were young I spent all my energy and time focusing on being the best mom I could. My spouse was not a co-parent but enjoyed his solitude as he appears to do now. He earned the money and I did everything else, cook, clean, child rearing, yard work, etc. Now that my sons are grown and on their own I feel as if there is a huge void in my life. The spouse and I live in the same house but never communicate, ever. Everyday, I feel like I am going crazy from isolation, loneliness, despair and depression. There aren’t many options for me to try and bring joy into my life. Being able to chat with ppl my age in similar situations is a comfort, though.

        • Beck Frnka
          REPLY

          I am a 67 yr old woman. My husband of 30 yrs took his life16 yrs ago. He had severe bipolar disorder and in as much as he was the love of my life it was exhausting. I have no interest in going down that road again. I got a dog and 2 cats after he died and they saved me. I literally don’t know what I would have down without them. Of course they became my babies but that’s ok. I’ve now lost the dog and one of the cats but my last cat and I are hanging in there. Pets can be a blessing.

          I am recently retired and have moved from a city to a small town. I am living in my step-daughters remodeled garage. It has been a challenge with the move and settling in. The problem is there are no senior centers/ activities in this area and I’m talking about within 45 minute drive except those that are religious oriented which I am not intersted in. Its hard to develope friendships without some social outlet.

          I do alone fine. My life was so crazy with my husband that the peace and quiet are great. I can easily hermit down into my little apartment and let the world go by. But I don’t think that a great thing for me.

          I just found this website and feel for so many that write here. I know about depression and feeling as if everything is always focused on what “they” (husbands, boyfriends, kids etc, take your pick) need and want over yourself. The problem is there are no easy answers. Than God for the cat.

      • Ann Lee
        REPLY

        Hey there middle aged healthcare worker. Sounds like some menopause…dont be dismayed im 64 & went thru what you are at this point.

    • Rodney
      REPLY

      I’m a recent widower myself – Lost her to Alzheimer 2 years ago and I feel strong enough to make one or two contacts out there.
      I’m Rodney Sulch, from Chiswick Illinois (born and raised) but moved to Canada for work (with the NATO organization). I’m flexible and won’t mind relocating for the right One.
      I’m just a traditional laid-back guy seeking He’s Other Half. A great Companion can sure be priceless.

      • lonnie
        REPLY

        I k now how you feel I lost my husband in a terrible accident in april of 17 im so thankful my dogs lived I at least have them but it is not the same as having human companionship I feel soo lonely my family thinks I should spend my life alone live for me they say but they never come around or invite me to any activities I do not know what there reason is for that thinking

      • Claire
        REPLY

        If you would just like a friend for now, I think men in general, are more fun to be with than women although there are some good women friends out there (My best friend and I have been friends for decades and I love keeping in touch with her tho’ she’ s far away).

        Just a thought.

    • Karen
      REPLY

      I am a female and turning 62 in a few months. I have no family/friends anymore and feeling more alone than I have ever felt before. I wouldn’t mind finding some penpals/phone/text buddies. If interested in becoming friends please let me know!!!

      • Susan Mickel
        REPLY

        Hi. I am a 65 year old woman and live alone. I feel lonely although I do have weekly conversations with my son. It would be nice to be in touch with you.
        Susan

      • ROBERT CIAFRE
        REPLY

        I am a young 70 year old man who stays active and busy. My girlfriend just died a few weeks ago and my greyhound just died on Sept 19, 2018. I have a servant’s heart but I am really lonely, a need some companionship and refuse to go on a dating site

        Alone in Ellenton, Fl My name is Chey

      • Angela
        REPLY

        Hello Karen, i have been thinking about penfriends for a while now, i was thinking of the old fashioned pen to paper sort.
        I live in England Uk, am 61 too.
        I have four adult children who have their own lives and so empty home as i am many years separated, oh and i have a dog that i adore.
        Karen, I won’t make a big thing of it, it would be just nice to get a letter like the old days, nan or grandad or penfriend, never get these anymore. Electronic has taken it.

        • Charlotte
          REPLY

          Hi Robert: so sorry to hear of your recent loses. Just thought I’d respond. I know how it is to feel alone. My name is Charlotte I live in New York.

      • Mason Peck
        REPLY

        Greetings Pam writing to you from west central Indiana the Terre Haute area. My mother took het life at the age of 37. I was 7 then now 59 trust me when I state you feel like doing the same. Life is too short and it an or s9lve anything. My mother was a concerpianist. Drop me a line if you care to?

        • christine Nelson
          REPLY

          I just turned 60 i wasnt blessed with a decent family of origin i divorced two abusive men.i raised classically selfish daughters of the its all about me generation Theyve been to jail addictions and one dropped her adhd fetal alcohol effected child on me with severe behavior problems and diappeared to do more drugs.Ive tried church and been to sereval i dont belong and frankly its the man show all over again .churches largely ignore older women.i have a number of serious health issues.I am introvert by nature but even introverts get lonely.I think aging in this day and age is for the birds .men around my age are jackasses who dont want an older women these old geezers want a 40 yr old.they had a shitty entitled attitude.and dont respect women only young and pretty need appy so i wait …i dont care about living anymore existing is more like it

        • Susan
          REPLY

          Susan, I too will be 62 in July, am married and also find it hard for to make new friends and get this….my name is Susan as well. I live in OH so not sure where your from but would love a pen pal.

      • Moody
        REPLY

        Karen, I turn 59 in two months and never had a pen pal.I live in Indiana, I ran across this site early this morning, sounds kinda fun&interesting!

      • Claire
        REPLY

        Karen – I just typed a whole reply to you but it disappeared so I’ll try again (tried to leave name, etc. but clicked myself away from my message.) I know how lonely you can feel when few if any, family and friends are not around. It seems to be harder to make good friends when you get older and I, for one, though I have many interests, don’t like doing things by myself only.

        Most people thrive best with a strong support system of caring family and friends, women especially need this. We are wired to be with men and family and to have some girlfriends and men friends in our lives. I know I miss my ex-family and the few family members I have are 3000 mi. away across the country. My only family is my daughter – we love each other dearly but truly do not have many interests in common. Thus, I do without.

    • Beth
      REPLY

      Hi
      I live in Ontario, Canada and oh my I can so relate..I live in a very neglected marriage..in fact I have been living like this for years.
      I have two beautiful little grandchildren..
      I would very much like to meet people who also can relate and perhaps live close enough to meet for coffee.
      I’m 72..and so much lack attention..some compassion and just pure friendship.
      If you wish to contact me
      My name is Beth

      • Linda
        REPLY

        So sorry for your loss. It surely magnifies the holiday blues. It makes me sad to see so many of us as we get older feel so alone. We all have a story but yet so many are similar. Holidays are very tough for me. As our children grow up they live in a me world. I hope my grand children do not hurt my own daughter as much as she has hurt me by shutting me out of her life. It would help to know what she shut me out for but I believe she is just unhappy her self and takes it out on me. I seem to have a good life on the outside but it is very lonely on the inside. Come on January help me get through this. Living in Florida should be wonderful but yet it’s so lonely.

    • Randy
      REPLY

      I no the feeling im 62. Looken too meet a nice lady.im from ohio also i enjoy being.with. my.grandkids and my daughter and i also.enjoy the things u do i been divorce from my ex wife 2 year’s. Now. I know the feeling of being alone if it wasn’t for my grandkids i dont know what i would.do.im on.facebook if.u.would like too talk.

    • Trina
      REPLY

      Hi, I read your profile. I’m a lonely married for 23 years female seeking friendship. I just want a friend whom I can vent to from time to time and will not use my kindheart. I’m from Charlotte, NC and just seeking a honest loyal friendship.

    • MARY BRIGGS
      REPLY

      HELLO WHERE IN OHIO DO YOU LIVE? I AM IN HEARTVILLE OH> I ALSO LIVE ALONE. I TRY TO STAY BUSY BUT I STILL FEEL ISOLATED IF I DO NOT GO OUT MOST EVERY DAY. I LIKE TO HAVE SOMETHING DO TO KEEP ME BUSY. NOT UNHAPPY BUT WISH MY LIFE HAD MORE MEANING.

    • Anne B Baxter
      REPLY

      Hi, Anne I live in NW Arkansas–moved here alone sight unseen–lovely place to live but I find it hard to meet people. I am single, never married and no kids and I live alone. I have long term issues from a serious car accident and I am not as mobile as a lot of people my age. Basically estranged from all my brothers and sisters except for one brother and all my life long friends fell away due to moving, alcoholism ,whatever. Sometimes I feel I am drifting in outer space with no gravity. I have lots of hobbies and I can spend lots of time alone happily but do long for deep connections. I do have two friends here that I feel good about but want a wider network and it seems many come for a while and then don’t work out

    • Bill Smith
      REPLY

      Hi Suzanne, also live in southern Ohio and just love to be friends. You may be wanting a younger person to be friends with but I’m 75 and still feel like I’m 25 but you know how that is, that only a mind thing but keeps me young at heart. Still married for 52 years but wife is not interested in me sexually anymore because of copd and colitis but just looking to chat and maybe lift someone up and become friends. If interested I have email and phone or FB. Bill

    • Lorraine L Ekholm
      REPLY

      I am going to be 65 in a few weeks. I have been disabled since I was 52 I am alone. a widow who had no children. I am alone, lonely , broken, sad and broke. I live pay check to pay check. I long to live some where a lot warmer than Michigan. I have been around death a lot in my life and taken care of four of my own family. Now I am afraid that I will die alone. What do I do?
      ..

      • Jesse cox
        REPLY

        Sorry about all your pain and losses I lost my first wife and went back home to take care of my mother for 18 years just lost her thus year 91 years old got married again last year lasted one year she left me .I’m in tenn trying to get back to Florida I’m 72 years old,would love to chat with you do you have a Facebook or e mail

      • Claire
        REPLY

        Hi Lorraine Was saddened by your story but after reading many of these notices, it seems our culture here in the U. S. is proned to abandon their own (family and friends). The Bible says it’s not good for a man to be alone (including women of course) but many people, including family especially, seem to grow colder and colder regarding their concern for others. I am quite alone now. My family support system is very weak (two bros’ and best friend are 3000 miles across the country) . People here are nice enough on the surface but stick to their own support systems like glue – older people don’t seem to be willing to “let you in” to their tight knit family and espec. friend “circles”.

  • Rachel McAlpine
    REPLY

    You may be interested in the results of an Older Bloggers Survey—I was. The friendships and social life in the world of older bloggers was their second most important reason for blogging, and was mentioned again and again in their comments. They may be virtual friendships but they are powerful and positive. Older people (like myself) seem to find blogging far more comfortable than other social media networks such as those on Facebook or Twitter or Pinterest. Lots of discussion here, if I’m permitted to include a link: https://writeintolife.com/the-older-bloggers-survey-2018/

  • Buck Eyecreek
    REPLY

    All the lonely people. I need a new city or town to live out my senior years. Los Angeles and all California are too expensive for me now, even though I was born and raised here. I will have to leave all the past I know and start over. Are you living somewhere you love that is welcoming to new comers who are no longer young? Any suggestions for me? Thank you friends.

      • Sherry KNEPPER
        REPLY

        Gena….btw, I spent a few months in a mobile home park on the main road in Alamogordo in the 1970’s. As you said, it was low cost and low crime and didn’t see any snakes or scorpions as I was warned about. :)

    • Sherry KNEPPER
      REPLY

      Buck Eyecreek, , I’ve actually been considering CA as I’m in need of cosmetic procedures and the best doctors for me all seem to be there. However, for now exploring the DE shore areas and want to meet fellow unlimited life extensionists there or considering spending any future time there.

    • Jackie Smith
      REPLY

      hello lonely lady i am a lonely widower living in a wonderful town in Arkansas in the beautiful Ozark mounts i am a very nice looking 77 yrs. young man i have a beautiful home big. you will love it hear i think i plan to be married in January but you will be welcome in my home until we can find you a place to live that you will like Jackie Smith Bentonville, Arkansas home of wall mart.

    • Su
      REPLY

      Hello, when I sell my house in rural Michigan I will move to Greensboro NC and have an apartment. It is not particularly expensive and there is a lot to do there. i am passing along my plan in case it suggests something to you as well.

    • martha
      REPLY

      Hello Yvonne where do you live? I am 62 years old, living in Miami. I don’t know but lately I am feeling so lonely and alone.
      very worry. sometimes I need someone to talk.

      I would like to hear from you again.

      Martha T

      Hi Buck: Check Miami area, you may love this city if you love the sunshine and the ocean.
      If you look on Collins avenue or Ocean Drive in Miami is very expensive but you can find Comdominiuns in the same
      area one block distance to the beach with very good prices.
      I love Miami, I live nearby. I am 62 years old and still working. By the way, I am not a realtor.

      MT

    • Laurie
      REPLY

      Hi This is for Buck I’m 63 and presently live in So Ca. I Am also lonely and would like to find a new place to live. I just don’t know where! If youde like a friend please

      contact me. Laurie

  • yvonne wuamett
    REPLY

    Hi
    I live alone in Portland , I moved here a year ago to be close to my son who promptly moved away.
    I have no one and I do get very lonely. My dog died 4 months ago, I keep busy but there are times when I just long for company. Im 73 and being old happened so fast
    Yvonne

      • Ursula Fiedler
        REPLY

        Hi Yvonne;
        Since I feel the same way you do, there might be some merit in exchanging emails?
        I live in So. California (Ventura), very lonely, but full of life. Would like to exchange ideas, maybe visit each other?
        I usually spend the month of May and October in the Olympic Peninsula, renting a lake house.
        I am in my seventies. Ursula

    • Bill Smith
      REPLY

      Yvonne, my name is Bill and I will chat with you anytime. I’m married but need a womans friendship. I’m on most medias, email Phone messinger and Fb. Would love to hear from you sometime , I’m a young 75 yo. I live in southern Ohio.

  • Margaret
    REPLY

    Hi, I’m 60 years old with a 16 yr old only child! Moved out of NYC after retiring 5 yrs ago. I live in Fayetteville NC now. Worked as a teacher for 31 years and I am a single Mom. Obviously my child is now at an age of impending independence, so I have been on the lonely side of things. I don’t know if I’m looking for a relationship so much as friendship with a guy. Definitely not looking for marriage! Dating sites are awkward as you don’t write in your profile “ love long walks , but oh yeah, can’t really do it anymore.” Physical limitations catch up with us all, some sooner than others. But I still like to vacation, go out, etc. Just “with who? ” is the issue.
    If you’re close by and want to meet for coffee, let me know.

  • Debbie
    REPLY

    I’m 64. I have health issues so that I’m not always able to be out and about. If I go grocery shopping once a week it’s a big deal. Sometimes I can manage to go to the movies but it’s just not the same going alone. I try to keep my mind sharp; I’m an avid reader, a writer and a beta reader. I have online friends, but nothing replaces being able to actually be with someone and hear their voice and look into their eyes, and have a good laugh together.

    I feel pathetic at times because loneliness strikes randomly. I’m not sure where to go from here. I can’t do more than what I’m doing now, physically. So how do I meet people?

    • Ann Garrard
      REPLY

      Hi Debbie
      I’m almost 68 years old I’ve lost my husband recently. We had been married for 46 years. I have two children and three grandchildren but they don’t bother very much( I’ve only seen my son once this year.
      Everything I need to do is overwhelmingly difficult because I too struggle with a chronic back problem.
      Iwould love to be able to talk to y more if that’s what you want. Not sure who can see this so don’t knohow to go about this.
      Anyway it’s even nice to share a little bit.
      Hope you will maybe talk to me again.
      I enjoy reading and talking on phone to friends and going out as much as I am able.
      I hope we can speak again
      Ann

      • Shirley Fogge Piazza
        REPLY

        Ann,
        I currently, perhaps temporarily, live in West Palm Beach, FL. My husband left and lives with another woman .

        I seem to have so much in common with Debbie and you.
        It would be nice to speak.
        Shirley Piazza

        • Donna
          REPLY

          I’m 62 and live in Port St. Lucie Florida. My grown children moved out of state. My husband works very long hours and I’m so lonely too. Can’t afford to retire yet. We moved to a new neighborhood months ago and everyone keeps to themselves and it’s so quiet. I’m going out of my mind daily trying to figure out how to get out of here.

          • Alice Rey

            Please list places to live that are great to live for seniors. I need to be in a place where people are friendly, good medical care, public transpoetation

      • Sherry
        REPLY

        Hi Ann Garrard and everyone! Hope you all are hanging in there. I too am very disabled from a orthopedic spine problem. but am able to exercise, sit a little, stand a little if I don’t stand still and can sometimes walk over 30 minutes, IF I haven’t strained my back lately. Looking forward to the anti-aging stuff that’s now in the experimental stages. It may be able to help with our back and many other problems with aging. You know what they’re saying?! — that almost all diseases and conditions are caused by aging — some even before we’re born! I’m sure a lot of you guys have heard of telomeres, an aging marker. They say we all lose 1/3 of them when we’re born! So the anti aging may help children and the unborn.

      • Gina
        REPLY

        Hi Debbie,

        I am 64 and struggle with back problems and a scoliosis also. I would like to meet someone and get married again but I find men do not want to marry again.
        Anyone have any ideas I live in WI…

        Gina

    • Gracie
      REPLY

      Hi, I am 73 years old and am divorced after 28 years being marriage. I lost a lot due to divorce and getting ripped off by contractors who were supposed to fix a home I purchased. I don’t have much money. He got most of our things. I am now living in the state I was divorced in, which is the same state we were married in. I left him and filed for divorce five years ago. I am now regretting the divorce. We still talk, but he says he doesn’t want us to be a couple again. I have no family for friends here, I have only been back here for one month. I am so lonely I can hardly stand it. I can’t get pass leaving him and filing for divorce. I want him back, but don’t think that will happen. I live in Henderson Nevada and need to find some sort of help. Maybe a good friend also. Anyone have any ideas?

      • Sherry
        REPLY

        Gracie, I’m not anywhere near Nevada, but if you can get to the point where you don’t want to be with a guy who doesn’t want to be with you, it may help but I don’t know why he doesn’t want to be with you so I’m kind of lost when it comes to helping with this issue. As for just being alone, if you’ve seen my other posts on here, you know I hate the idea of being alone, especially living alone.

      • susan
        REPLY

        Gracie don’t regret the divorce. I am sure you had good reasons at the time. Being alone at an older age is hard well after a divorce it is hard at any age. I think sometimes it is easier to look back at the relationship and try to gleam something good in it than to hope for the possibility of a good relationship in the future.

        Being an older women is not for the weak. With the ratio of women to men being uneven as we age I think we have the right to be concerned but not necessarily hopeless. There is a site called Meetup. It is not a singles site but an interest site where people can get together and do things like movies, crafting whatever. There is not cost to sign up other than what the event might cost. They have groups all over the world. I go to a couple different groups.

    • Jamie lee
      REPLY

      That’s how my children treat me to after my husband passed away in2013! I have no one plus I never learned to drive so I go out once a month to get meds and food! I am looking for friends to talk to and smile with I have not smiled in years

      • Pat Gabel
        REPLY

        I am 78. And alone. Ex with another woman. 54 yr old daughter living w me now. But with her work I get left far behind. I have serious back pain and frontal lobe brain atrophy. I am purely miserable. Hardly can go out much. Discouraged. Guess all I have is God. /Pat

      • Carolyn
        REPLY

        Hi, I am sorry for the loss of your husband. My mama never got a license until her hubby passed, she got car and licenses after 50

        • Jamie lee
          REPLY

          I’m not sure if we’re replying to me or not! I was in a car accident when I was 16 when I get in the driver’s seat of a car all I see is the red 18 wheeler coming at us, I wasn’t the driver! And I see the jaws of life cutting me out of the car. At 55 I have never forgot those images I don’t like to ride sometimes and with new drivers and people it’s not a safe feeling at all!?

      • Rebecca Litton
        REPLY

        I am also in need of people to have conservations with – I’m widowed and elderly – in good health, active – still drive but just live alone and only have TV for companion – not interested in dating – just a friend

        • Jamie lee
          REPLY

          I need someone like you in my life! I’m 55 widow and can’t do much after having 2 back surgeries and 2 neck surgeries! I need a friend! I’m miserable liveing with my sister how verbally abused me all the time.

      • Bill Smith
        REPLY

        Hi Jamie Lee. Would love to chat with you. I’m married but you can never have too many friends. I love to listen and sometimes give a little advice. I’ve been married 52 years but very lonely with wife being sickly. I’m a young 75 yo. Don’t know how old you are but if you need a smile or someone to console you then I’m your man. Have email, phone or messinger. Bill

    • Debi
      REPLY

      Hi all,
      I’m a 58 year old woman who lives alone in N.Y. I have been divorced for many years. I have tried different dating sites, but nothing has worked out for me. I’m wondering if there are men and women who live close by who would like to get together for coffee, lunch, whatever. Thanks

      • Lisa
        REPLY

        Hi Debi – I’m in my 60’s and recently retired. I have 2 children, but do not see them often – though they live in the state. I live on Long Island. Where in NY are you? If fairly local, I’d like to meet for cup of coffee or lunch. What do you say? I am looking to make new friends – it’s very hard to make friends at this age – btw I have been divorced for over 10 yrs so I am single.

        • Carrie A. Necas
          REPLY

          Hi Lisa…….Im on Long Island also, Im 63 and divorced now for 12 years. I hate living alone. I have 2 daughters and thats about it. Im at a point in my life where I feel stuck and dont know what to do . Im feeling depressed about everything in my life. If you want to meet up for lunch etc …. let me know. Im in Suffolk co. :) Carrie

      • Maureen
        REPLY

        Hi I’m in NYC and NJ but stuck up in the boonies near Cornell U in Ithaca. I’m trying to sell my house to get back to civilization down the shore. I haven’t had good pizza in 10 years. My husband left me and my mother was buried yesterday. I have never been so scared. My rescue dogs, cat & turtle keep me alive.

        • Just Sue
          REPLY

          Hello Maureen, I am 54 in phx az. My 1st time on this site or any site announcing the emptiness inside. I didn’t say how old you were but all the same I’m sorry you lost your mom. Has been over 18 years and I still wake myself up at night shouting for her. But what really caught me about your comments but the fact that the dogs cat Turtle keep you going ever me also is my dog three cats that adopted me and my hundred fifty pound tortoise who has is on the fork to eat with yes I said Fork then he doesn’t pick it up he expect you to hand it to him. As I sit here right now my little dog he’s been having a hard time breathing for 3 days now the vet on Friday take him some antibiotics it’s only come back in a week but I couldn’t wait a week cuz he’s breathing like 90 breath in a minute. It took him back in today we did blood work some of the test will be back tomorrow. The vet thinking valley fever I’m thinking congestive heart failure but I’m hoping not these tests were mainly roll out valley fever and tick fever. But I just had to get back with you but I was reading and saw that the cats and the dogs and turtle keep you going. But hey you’re from New York-New Jersey area you’re tough a bit and you’ll be okay

          • Jean

            Sue – Is your dog okay ? I so hope so as I know I panic every time my little angel coughs or throws up or something. I pray your little friend is all right.
            So funny about your huge tortoise !! And I thought I was weird having guinea pigs – I love the way they “Wheeek, wheeek,” at me ( but only if I wait too long to feed them.)

        • Jean
          REPLY

          I’m sorry for the loss of your Mom – it is like no other loss. I, too, have just my sweet dog and two funny guinea pigs for company and find they are more attentive to me than most people have ever been – unfortunate state of the world today !

        • Sherry Von
          REPLY

          This I think is for Maureen. Don’t understand my computer. Writing to say I fear losing my husband and mother every day. We are all disabled to some extent, all in different ways. None of us are able to do much physical work. I’m probably the healthiest of the 3 of us. Mom and my husband are not actually ill but husband says he has no energy due to fatty liver and he’s hunched over and won’t go to a doctor to find out why. He does need a shoulder replacement, which he doesn’t want to get and I doubt it’s a matter of life and death. Mom is in good shape for her age, as she looks very young for her age (she had a little cosmetic surgery many years ago), and drives a Ford Expedition, which takes some strength to get in and out of. But any time, there could be bad news and I worry. We are all life-extensionists but we are not all that disciplined with the lifestyle. (Look up “longevity escape velocity” for more about life extension.) AND do far there is NO real anti-aging available! I have no children, no siblings, no local family, no local friends, just a small family in South Carolina, who I see yearly, and just a clan on father’s side who I talk with but haven’t seen since the 1980’s. I do not drive and don’t want to. Maybe I will never need to because self driving vehicles may be available in a few years. Again, scared every day. My goal is to have a community home for life extensionists, which of course would be a very positive environment, or at least have extra positivism because everyone believes anything is possible nowadays with life extension. Right now I’m in Pennsylvania but hoping to move to either Myrtle Beach or Charleston, SC asap. I do not want to live alone because all my loved ones died off!

          • Nicole

            Hi Sherry,

            My name is Nicole I live in Greenville S.C.I am 38 year old woman with a beautiful 3 year old daughter. I realize I am not a senior obviously but I too am very lonely. I am an only child with no real family or support system either only a young child who depends on me. I am in a very bad marriage of 6 years. I have been a stay at home mom since she was born and I just recently went back to work part time. I was forced to leave home young and made my living in the restaurant industry so that is what I went back to. I am very scared because I don’t have the means to support my child on my own and leave my husband unless I work 2 jobs to keep afloat which obviously leaves my young daughter in the lurch. I had planned on just sucking it up and staying with my husband despite his sexual dysfunction and emotional abuse. So that I could home school my child and educate with good Christian values and the idea of throwing her in public schools these days terrifies me I am sure being from your generation you can understand why. Unfortunately I now realize that to be impossible as I am married to a man who does not behave in a Christian way at all which I imagine will make it very hard to achieve that.
            A few months ago I suffered a violent miscarriage that lasted for about 3 months. During that time my husband began cheating, drinking excessively, all while continuing to verbally and emotionally abuse me. Now he threatens me every day with leaving me and my child homeless and says he doesn’t care what happens to either of us. Last night was the worst he tried to find his gun which I hid threating to kill himself while my child was scared and crying. At a minimum I could use someone to talk to. But my ultimate goal here is to find someone who needs companionship, help around the house, and someone to ultimately take care of them in the twilight of their life so they won’t have to face being alone sick and forgotten with no one to care for them. In exchange I am looking for companionship, hopefully blooming into a surrogate mother daughter type of situation, and a home that is safe, calm, and godly to allow me and my daughter a safe haven while I find a way to support us without working 80 hours a week. I am saving up the money to get my real estate license but even after I get it will take me a year or two to become financially solvent enough for us to live alone. I am not looking for a sitter for her I have that worked out. I just need a safe, secure, home environment for us both. Also I am not interested in dating or anything of the kind just raising my daughter so no worries of strange people coming around etc. I don’t drink, I am clean, responsible, and kind. My mother is still living but doesn’t offer much in the way of emotional support and won’t allow us to stay with her even for a little while so I can get on my feet financially I have begged and the answer is still no.
            Maybe we could chat and learn more about each other. Perhaps if we found we would be good companions we could help one another of a bad situation.

      • Grace
        REPLY

        Hi Debi,

        Like you and many others, I’ve realized that I should develop new relationships with other mature singles, who live within, at least, driving distance of where I am located (NYC) and have some common interests. I’m single, live in and work in NYC, don’t smoke nor drink alcohol [just my personal preference], and prefer being outdoors. After reading your post and those of others women on this site, who live in/near NYC, I thought to propose a casual meetup. You and anyone other woman, who is looking to meet new potential friends in the NYC area – let’s meet me at Central Park this Saturday (July 14th) at Noon. For our first ‘new friend’ meetup, let’s keep it to women only then we can decide way-forward after we meet. Right now, you can’t miss me as I have a boot cast and crutches – these are temporary due to an accident. Normally, I’m very active and enjoy the outdoors (biking, hiking, walking, volleyball, exploring, etc.); however, for the next few months, I’ll have to settle for shorter walks and/or relaxing on a blanket in Central Park – hopefully, with some new friends. So, if meeting in Central Park this Saturday (July 14th) at Noon appeals to you or anyone else reading this, let’s meet at the Fifth Avenue & 86th Street entrance to Central Park. We can then find a spot in the Park. If you decide to come, bring something to sit on, a beverage, and snack for yourself. We can relax and just talk. Should it get too hot or rain, we can find a nearby alternate (e.g. go into the Metropolitan Museum of Art or other). The more the merrier. For those of you not near NYC, may I suggest that one of you take the lead in your area and post details for a very casual ‘getting to know you new friends’ meetup in your area. First steps are always hard but they usually lead to great things! All my best, Grace

        • Janet A Seline
          REPLY

          Hi Grace,
          I was wondering if your “meetup” on July 14th, 2018, in Central Park, was a success. If you get this, please let me know. I live in Hackettstown, NJ, about an hour from NYC. If you have a group I would love to join!!
          Janet

        • Janet A Seline
          REPLY

          Hi Grace,
          I am so happy to have found this website. I hope your “get together” yesterday went well. I live about an hour from NYC, in Hackettstown, NJ. If you have a group I would love to be a part of it. If you can, please let me know.
          Thanks,
          Janet

        • vivian
          REPLY

          i was in the same situation when i was in my twenties. im in my sixties right now . the best thing i ever did was to get out. dont ever allow anyone to abuse you and your child .

    • Lisa
      REPLY

      Hello all. Senior centers. Friendly visitors. Social workers. Volunteer. You have to leave the house. Or else find someone to invite in. Do something. You really can make a small effort every day. It requires you do something. Different.

    • NWlady
      REPLY

      I am also a widow — with no family, not a single cent to spend after paying the monthly bills (gas is rationed here!), a free-and-clear thankfully home in a town of 400 that has not one single business (not even a bar or grocery store), and no work/friend support system. I’ve gotten over my disappointment that a lifetime of monthly savings was spent on cancer treatments for my husband, who was a contractor and who during the 2008 meltdown, had to cancel his privately held company’s life and health insurance. My company was separate and I had those insurances through it. He didn’t want to worry me and we’d both been so healthy, he figured..he’d get it back soon. After all, he had paid for those items also for a lifetime.

      We moved to a small town to rehab this home — cosmetic needs and now, rats, a roof — and months later, he was diagnosed. I shut down my business to take care of him at home.

      Whenhe died, I was left standing there alone and broke. And then I discovered that neighbor wives don’t appreciate the widow asking their husbands for help. I understand. And I discovered that socializing costs money. I scrounge for groceries. I quit playing tennis. I quit a church bible study group. Why? I could not afford them. I was asked to lunch/dinner but when I cannot afford restaurant food, people start to pay and I do not want them to do so. I lived a life previously where I had plenty of money.. this is a new experience. I have a great resume but now I’m 66. I keep sending it out. Not one bite …and I have to keep in mind the distance to drive as my vehicle is now aged.

      But those things I can handle. What I’m having trouble with is planning for health problems. I do not know the prices of ambulances or hospitals but I know I cannot afford them at all. Safety is on my mind. What if someting happens here at home and I need help? What if I need the care my husband needed? What if I’m driving rural and I don’t make it home? Who will notice?

      I had a flat tire not long ago. I couldn’t get the lug nuts off the SUV. I ended up walking 6 miles to town. I’m glad I have my health to do that. But…it was a wake-up call. Another time I had a problem with one eye and had to get to town (20 miles) to get something for it. I could not close it. My other eye had bad sight; I used contact lense only on the other eye. No glasses. I drove very slowly to town on gravel road, after calling two people to see if I could get help. They were out of town. Two others…well, I was watering their plants as they were with family out of town. I was proud that I did it but again… a wake up call.

      I want very much to refuse ambulance/medical service if something happens as I don’t want to live alone afterward and worry about bankruptcy or creditors. Good grief. I have only hospitalization for Medicare. I really wish I knew of safety solutions….and I’m perfectly content dying .. I truly do not get bummed out at that. I just want it to be painfless and fast. I sometimes wish I was able to know of an off-button so in the case of a health issue, no medical…just push off button I’d actually find comfort in that!

      I go weeks and months without using my voice or being with another human. It’s funny how I’ve moved from totally weirded out by the silence of this new world — after a life filled with way too much busy and people — to accepting it. It’s not the best, I know. I do miss the fun things we did…camping, backpacking, ATV’s, hunting in the back country. I dream about it!

      But it is what it is. LIfe is now a matter of acceptance. What would really comfort me though is knowing how to deal with safety issues — with no money to pay for the support others usually get to deal with such topics. That’s what I want to know. Anyone able to help with ideas? Safety when away from home and when I don’t return… Safety if something happens to me at home and no one is around to provide help. Safety if I have an illness and want to die rather than have treatment — and no rolling eyes. or pressure to change my mind. Safety. That’s what I fret about.

      • Mary
        REPLY

        Hi – I just want to say how much I relate to you. I’m 63, but started realizing how alone I am in my early 50s. At that time I was having a lot of cluster “headache” (clusters are tortuous pain, much worse than what tend to be called headaches or even migraines). I was far from any hospital. I don’t know if there’s anything lonelier than being alone for hours & days in pain, or the fear of it, & feeling like no one really gets that, or cares. At the time I was in a relationship with a guy in Wa. State but caring for me beyond a point was beyond his emotional range.

        Now it’s over a decade later. My parents are gone & my brother has pretty much abandoned me. I had moved to the West coast from the East in 1990, so have lost ties with older friends, other than sort of superficial contact on Facebook. The chosen family that replaced my family of origin has all died or left this area in the last ten years. I have a couple of friends left & try not to lean on them too much. But whenever anything happens for which I need help, I sort of sigh & steel myself to walk next door & ask for help, apologizing all the time.

        One of things I want to say, & that occurred to me when I read your message was, “What has happened to this world?” Why are people so cold & uncaring toward others? I had a sort of spiritual awakening around mid-life & realized how much richer life is when I am awake to where I can be of use & service. But I feel surrounded by people who are all about their own little family units, who don’t seem to think of the world as a community.

        I live in the middle of a big city (San Diego) that is overrun by younger people who come here for school, partying, the social scene. I used to be a sort of big deal on the local poetry scene but my collaborators & supporters have died or left. Young people tend to be disinterested in what an older woman who has lost her looks has to say. I get out there & attempt to meet people. I volunteer at a place that helps sick people get their laundry done & get food a few times a week. When CL still had “platonic” personal ads I met a woman through that but she has faded as my life became so difficult in the last year or so & I had to keep saying I couldn’t do stuff with her. I don’t know what the answer is, other than continuing to try & meet people. I think of all the opportunities I had when I was younger – stuff that just seemed to fall into my lap. Now yers pass & nothing happens. It’s so hard to re-establish a social life when you are older. I wish there were communities for people with similar interests (political, social, creative) to support each other – more than just online. Anyway, a sincere best to all.

    • kath Lawton
      REPLY

      I am also very lonely, I am a young 73 and before I had my illness, M.E/CFS I was out and about socializing with people who I believed were friends, I soon found out that they nor my family were in the least bit interested about my illness.
      I have bought myself a mobility scooter so that I can get out and about on good days. As I write I am stopping myself from crying because I am lonely.
      They say, join a group! there are no groups where I live.
      I would do anything to have a genuine friend who I could visit and vice versa.

      • Claire
        REPLY

        I too am 65 and am blessed to have some clients (I now only consult). I no longer worry about the ambulance, I simply don’t go because they cost 650 dollars. My situation is that since i’ve moved to the southwest to escape the cold, I have no friends, and believe me, I’ve tried I am planning to move to southern cal in a hud senior home within 2 years and that seems like an eternity living around people that don’t get me I haven’t had any neighbors invite me to their apartments since November, even for a cup of coffee. My lease is up in November and I’m considering moving back East to be near my friends until California has a placement for me

        My mom told me as she was waiting to die in rehab to not go that route. She fell and had temporary paralysis and had that alarm around her neck and called for help Her life became a nightmare in rehab ( a very expensive one with a great reputation) and she made me promise that if I fall as a senior, get up if i can and if not wait for god because it’s a short wait (she was a nurse and lived til 93). I think she gave me good advice because I am tired of reaching out to people who are to scared to have me over because they think I want their husbands Never did that in high school or any part of my life. My sig other and I were getting ready to get back together in May – he was very healthy and died suddenly. He was my rock through all of life’s happenings and was there for me emotionally w.hen my parents died. I miss his emails and the loss of reuniting with him is huge.
        So I guess my question is due I “cowboy up” and go back to freezing cold where my friends are, or stay here in isolation

      • maryanne butler
        REPLY

        kath Lawton:
        wish you lived close by I’m in magnum ok and 62 and alone no kids, own home quiet life would love to meet and chat for lunch with someone…in great health no problems …take care maryanne

    • Kellt
      REPLY

      Hi, where are you located?

      My mother is around the same age as you and would love to meet new people and make new friendships. She Too has some health issues but would love to meet someone she can speak to and meet up with etc

    • Vicki
      REPLY

      Debbie I am in your shoes and 61 with Chronic Immune Disorder and several other medical issues that complicate it. Like you shopping is a big deal or just doing laundry. I try not to mess my house because I know I will have a cluttered one or dirty one to live in because I just can’t clean it. Getting to the shower some days is a big deal. Today I got up at 5pm after taking meds twice in bed, I finally was driven to get up because of pelvic pain from laying down. All this because I went out to do laundry yesterday, thats it. I am now facing being alone and living alone for the rest of my life with a progressing medical issues situation. What do we do Sis? I feel your pain, I really do, but I just don’t know what we can do about it. Sometimes I think there isn’t enough ‘goodness’ left in me to offer anyone. Who would want to have someone that can’t be counted on FOR ANYTHING. I never know what I am going to be able to make a show I have prepaid for or even shower some days until afternoon or later. God help us girl, God help us. (((hugs)))

    • maryanne butler
      REPLY

      Debbie:

      I live in magnum ok are you near me at all…I’m 62, alone and healthy great shape but no one no kids, parents in Biloxi have a good time… I own a house and would love to either get a roommate or work babysitting to make a few extra bucks to go see some of the cities around me…Amarillo, tulsa, dallas great cities…

  • Charlene
    REPLY

    I too am feeling very lonely and disconnected from everyone. I would like to have someone that I can talk with, laugh with and be supportive in the time of need. I feel like I’m stuck!!!!

    • Andrea brown
      REPLY

      Charlene, I feel the exact same way. It hurts, it really does. So much more. Have no way of knowing what to do. If you have found a solution please let me know. 64 yes old and never, ever did I think I would be this lonely. Andrea

        • Jean woodford
          REPLY

          Hello Bonnie
          I am 71 , married, but we are now on different paths ,I never ever felt I would feel lonely, but I do , my son and daughter ,are very good but have their own lives to lead, and the last thing they need is a”needy” mum.
          I love to have fun, laugh .in good company, share meals out, and theatre trips.
          I realised that if I don’t get a grip and reach out, I am going to become a shrivelled prune.and perhaps a recluse”!!!!!oh shudder!!!!!
          So perhaps as you Bonny and I all feel the same , perhaps we could all become friends. and who knows , we will never feel lonely again .
          What do you think girls ??

        • Adrienne
          REPLY

          It’s all consuming. 69 years old, wanted a happy marriage to one person, but he had other plans. That lasted 25 years. Have three beautiful kids and four amazing grandchildren. Remarried someone I respected and trusted, He turned out to be a narcissist. That lasted 17 years. He left me on the day my son in law died from a brain tumor. He was having an affair with an old flame whose husband was in hospice dying from ALS. Ya can’t make this stuff up.
          Two years after that divorce I started seeing someone I graduated high school with. Turns out his married female best friend, 18 years younger, is more important than the loving, meaningful relationship I thought we had. I had a difficult time with him taking her to the movies, lunch and just hanging out. So he left me after 2 years. He thought I was unreasonable. This happened today, so I’m hurting once again and venting! Thank you to anyone who reads this and can relate.

        • Trish
          REPLY

          How do I join this group? I’m almost 70, in great health, but more or less a recluse. I’m an artist and a Pomeranian small dog breeder. I need a lady around my age to live with me, do arts and crafts with, and someone who loves lots of tiny dogs to play with. I live in FL.

        • Maddy
          REPLY

          And I thought I was the only one. I am 71, with severe chronic pain, so I don’t get out much. If I could I would certainly do volunteer work but, alas, not to be. I am married, have 2 sons, who make courtesy phone calls. In fact, one lives 2 blocks from me with 4 little grandchildren I would dearly love to see. Not to be – his wife wants no part of me and my son visits with the little ones every 2 weeks for 2 hours max and now he is moving away. I doubt I will ever see either of my sons again in this lifetime. My husband who is in great shape with my encouragement has made friends and visits them often, passing at least 2 full days a week with them and when he is with me he spends entire days, from sun-up to sundown outside tinkering with all his toys. I feel discouraged, abandoned, lonely. I would volunteer or at least try but he demands that when he is here or is outside ignoring me that I be in the house. I had a good career, I was busy, spent a lot of time with my elderly mother. I have no brothers or sisters and have lost all my friends along the way, partly because of the agonizing pain no one seems to even want to talk about – family, doctors…. no one.

          And so I know how it feels. I have a lot more the say but no one to share it with. Maybe we could start chatting, learning about each other, and progress to a genuine friendship leading to more positive outlooks knowing their is 1 friend out there willing to talk of whatever and we could start putting some kind of positives in our lives, each leaning our each other to make us see out others or start doing things… who knows… maybe some day even meeting…. I reach out to you as you reach out

          Who knows maybe there is some light out there. I wanted to kill myself yesterday but when I read your post I thought – there is someone out there in my very shows. We could try in each our own way to find happiness and rid ourselves of this loliness….. just maybe

          • Sherry

            Maddy and all, I am glad you did not kill yourself, Maddy. People don’t know that a better existence is coming. Those who don’t about me think I’m speaking of God, but not really, although this could come purely from God and through technology. If enough research is done, you’ll find the experts are saying what I am, and in fact it’s through research on life extension and futurism that I know this. Most experts are saying within 10 years, we will have greatly expanded life extension through medical control, so vast that it will seem as though we have no maximum lifespan! So it will not be just a continuation of what we’ve always had but so much more. And if we avoid accidents and don’t have an “existential” type of event to end humanity, we may be able to live who knows how long.

        • debra
          REPLY

          Clara I’m in same boat… 4 children who don’t ever bother calling. I’m 61 and just recently became disabled… I don’t even have transportation… So lonely don’t know why I’m still around

        • James Moore
          REPLY

          you know I know what you mean I have the same situation for my kids but however we could get together and we could be happy and the feeling of love that we will have between us flowing in each other’s bodies I would love you care for you and be there and never leaves you I’m 69 but I look 45

        • James D R*****
          REPLY

          Being ignored by ur children sux, I know I am a divorced 61 year old man, Still active as a 30 year old,And I can’t seem to get close to my three kids, My twin girls are 30 and my son is 24. My two girls have found their place in life,And my son,Who knows ? Maybe he’s jealous because his mother and I divorced six years ago.
          All she did was go out on weekends and party until the wee hours of the am,W/guys and my niece (she created
          all of my hard feelings toward my ex-wife) Anyway I know what it feels like to be alone ! That’s y I am looking for a new home back in Fla. That’s where I belong, I never had any problems there,I was there for approximatly 25 years on and off,W/never any problems w/anyone
          years I hope soon to get back to Fla. and start over again Thanx for reading this, I will survive ! JDR from NY Burbs

          • June S. Keller

            James,

            I am a 63 year old widow. I have family (a son) but only hear from them if they need anything. They, are always on the go and my son is not allowed to contact me, unless they need something.

            I have helped them alot financially and have done alot of baby sitting. I have lived in Florida (Coral Springs) for over 25 years, it gets very lonely and the few friends I have don’t ever want to do anything.

            Basically, my family would like me to die so they could sell my house and travel.

            Contact me if you would like to.

        • Suzanne
          REPLY

          Me too Clara. My entire adult life has been terribly difficult. I moved closer to my one son and his kids but never hear from them unless I initiate contact. In a bad relationship with a man who does not live with me, but have been together for years. We are not intimate any longer and he blames me. I want a commitment and am trying to follow what the Lord wants. I am tired of being emotionally neglected and starved for affection. I blame him. So tired of being alone. I moved to a small town from the city also so socializing isn’t an option. Love to all the ladies on here. We all deserve so much more than poverty, loneliness and disrespect.

          • Joan

            Hello you are still young and it is good to enjoy the good things in life, just like walking next to the beach, massage talk and laugh. I am a 56 year old widow without kids and would like to meet you, I can talk, listen to and share a friendship.

    • Andrea Brown
      REPLY

      Hi, my name is Andrea and I am in the same situation as many as you are. I’m 64 yrs old in a a loveless and unhappy Matt. I tried meet ups but that did not help me. I would just like to meet a friend that I can talk to, listen to and share a friendship.

      • Paul Delima
        REPLY

        Hi Andrea
        My name is Paul . I am 60 yrs old . I have 3 children. I was a single parent. My ex wife l eft then when my youngest daugher was 3 yrs old. Now they are full grown and married. Now I live all alone and I’m trying to look for friendship . Or someone to chat with everyday. I’m a retired Chef for 40 yrs. Sometimes it gets frustrating being all alone.

      • Judy
        REPLY

        Hi Mariana-
        I joined a few meet-ups, but they don’t seem to have enough events. I live in Manteca, CA sbout an hour or so from you.
        I am 67 years old. My 65 year old husband left me on May 9th to live with a 75-year old woman he met on a dating site at the end of March. I am going through separation and will be filing for divorce hopefully soon so I can go on with my life. I love dancing of all types. I am looking for women to go out karaoeking & dancing with, movies, musicals, traveling, dining, etc.

      • nan k
        REPLY

        Yes, there are meetup groups in the twin cities are full of women. We all may need to look at men and women once again sharing rental homes together. (we did in college)
        The meetup groups in the twin cities are boring. I want , specifically, now that I cannot find what I want, a person or person to relocate with me to a retirement community ON A COLLEGE CMAPUS. There are 5 in the usa, where residents mingle intergenerationally and take classes on campus, use facilities…and I do not mean THE LIFELONG LEARNING PROGRAM that is in most cities where you drive in to universities for , once again ,boring presentaitons
        When we had ballrooms and many dance halls in the twin cities with thems, it was real nice.
        My retirement as a professional ed. is boring but it does not seem to be boring overseas?.

        Good Luck and stay in touch. Nan

        • Bee
          REPLY

          Wow, I go to OLLI in my areas also.
          I thought that it would be more interaction with seniors and making friends more easily. Most are interesting enough to share current topics. Can be fearful of themselves or afraid of making new friends.
          The topics have been good though. wish there was a better dynamic for us seniors that are still vibrant , young and wishing to share conversations without any walls or barriers.

    • Gina Savietto
      REPLY

      Hello Anne, my story is very similar to yours, lost my dear hubby 5 years ago, 46 years married when he passed… i’m like you … i’d like to do more but have sore feet and cant walk that much .. cant do a great deal, you can talk to me whenever you like, it would be nice if you lived in Perth, i do have “friends,”but not always interested in me and i have 3 children and 7 beautiful grandies… they are very good to me and i baby sit one or the other during the week.
      I’d love to chat with you sometimes , need more adult interaction, not looking for a man, at this stage of my life i nearly need to be looked after never mind having an old man to pick up after or cook for etc…. anyway, keep well and hope to hear from you
      Regards

      Gina

    • Clay
      REPLY

      I in some way feel your pain. I absolutely hate this article with a strong passion. The author tried making a standpoint that “15 million people under 65 years old” made the choice of living alone. Either you’re ignorant or it is 5x in me for not reading the rest, because that’s only natural. You are trying to justify a shocking number of 15m people not wanting to be married (again) as a statistic? You have no underlying results, and the quantifiable analysis on the wide margin of an age group is bogus. You are rallying people without relationships, with short term relationships, mid term relationships, long term relationships, people with loved ones who passed away, and everything inbetween. You are a joke and you’r publication is not researched. End results to all who read this, be happy, find what makes you happy, and pursue it (as long as it is violent) and make sure you treat everyone as you want to be treated, in a friendly manner. At the end of the day, you’ll never know what nice comment you gave someone that they’ve thought about until they went to bed.

      • Jackie Smith
        REPLY

        hello Jamie would you like to be happy living in the beautiful Ozark mounts of Arkansas i am a 77 yr young male white. widowed very lonely have a beautiful home.

        • Jamie lee
          REPLY

          Wow are you serious? That would be my dream come true! I would love to leave Georgia! I would not be able to get there because I have never driven a car at all and I will not get on a plane! I’ll check back to see if you answer back! My God bless you every day. Faith, belief, love of God my have answered my prayers! What do you enjoy doing! Are you a Christian?

  • Rachel
    REPLY

    My name is Rachel.Im 63 years young and refused to let a number to determine my feelings. I’m a happy-go-lucky girl and I love to travel and I love to eat different kinds of foods I’m looking forward to a 15 day road trip with a sweet little friend of mine who was my neighbor 35 years ago I’m reaching out and I’m trying to do things I’ve never done before and now that I’m no longer married after many years I’m ready to go and have a good time. Come on girls and boys let’s begin to live let’s don’t sit here and wait to die alone get out have a good time get a job.
    I hope I have said something to encourage you to get up and To Live and Let Live have a ball.

    • Rachel Cozart
      REPLY

      Thanks for these open, honest comments. I’m 62 and don’t have any real family or friends to speak off. No children, lots of moving and unexpected traumatic events. I’ve put a small little life together but can’t imagine how to make new friends & connections. I don’t seem to have much in common. Lived a very different kind of life. But the loneliness gets to me after too many days & weeks by myself.

        • Denis
          REPLY

          I am in the exact same boat. I have learned that a domestic partner was the way to go for me. No kids. Then, she passed almost 2 years ago. I think that my reason why no legal marriage had to do with my upbringing. Our attachment style is formed early in our lives, between us and influential caregivers. I have no regrets exept the cancer part. Best.

        • NANCY MCCARTNEY
          REPLY

          Hi Sherry
          I am just the opposite have to many kids and would like to get away from them all .. So count yourself lucky.
          I to am lonely and looking for some friends my age to hang out with . I raised 3 of my own children and adopted 6 more so I have been busy raising them now they are grown and expect me to keep raising them the youngest is now 23 my oldest is 51 . Time for me to live my life. My dear friend since high school always said we would
          travel when everyone grew up we are now 71 and she is still working. Plus she is in pain and can’t even manage
          to go out to dinner after working at the office . I live in northern Illinois and seriously thinking of selling my house
          and leaving the country.. I have my heart set on Nova Scotia I have not been there yet. But keep studying everything about it . I plan to go in June and check it out.

          • Terry Crane

            My name is Terry hi Sherri I’m with you had 1 child but ended up raising many. I’ve been a caregiver my whole life. Just want to talk go places but I have no money. I would just be glad to have someone to go to movies or out to eat. I’m way back in country .Gets so lonely

          • Sherry

            I’m looking for a warm climate not a cold one but I hope you like Nova Scotia if you move there. I have never wanted children, yet envied the Duggar family’s large support system and all the positive excitement that goes with it. Wondering how your family compared to that family. When you say she is in pain, I’m not sure who you’re referring to. I too have issues with pain due to a lower spine problem but I’m not bad as long as I’m not on my feet or sitting for long. :) We too are trying to sell our house and move South. I’m looking for people who are interested in indefinite life extension through medical intervention and accident reduction/eradication. guessmyneeds@yahoo.com

          • Barbara Idzerda

            Hi Sherry,
            I have always dreamed of going to Nova Scotia too. Tell me if you went on your trip & how it was. I’m a big traveler and can’t believe I’ve never been there. I live in NYC right now:)

        • Andrea
          REPLY

          Sherry, I see your name a lot. Is this just a sounding board or how do you meet the people you are talking to and have so much in common to talk about?

          • Sherry

            Andrea, I have lots of posts here because I really feel there is potential to make connections here, although it may be a sounding board for some. Anyway it seems like a successful thread because it’s lasted so long. So far I’ve been emailed a few times asking for more about the community home I’d like to start in the future. I’m a relentless person so I keep trying. Also I think it helps all of us because through this thread we see we have a lot of company when it comes to loneliness. Not easy to find real connections though.

          • Gayle

            Not certain how this site works but can relate to most of you. Also not sure how safe this is as I googled “retired single women who want to relocate” & this appeared for all the world to see. If anyone can advise I would appreciate it.

      • Sherry
        REPLY

        and I don’t know why people without children by choice, like myself are not sticking together. Even the online sites for those without children have closed down. Seems crazy!

          • Sherry

            I didn’t know there was even one dating site solely for those without children. I was on one forum just for people to connect online, friendship or not. (I think it was mostly ladies — talking about how to cope in a world where it seems you’re alone. and whether or not the holidays are a special type of problem, for example. That one closed down soon after I joined and the other similar sites were also closed.

        • Sherry
          REPLY

          Terry I don’t know where you are but I’m looking for people who are excited about the anti-aging research going on now and who are interested in how all diseases and accidents can be gradually eliminated. If interested in this and other things, you can email me: guessmyneeds@yahoo.com

        • Jamie lee
          REPLY

          I’m new at this too! Maybe we can help each other out with this new adventure! I’m Jamie and my husband passed away in 2013 with lung cancer at age 53 I am 55 now and I am disabled and can’t work but I have a check that goes into my account it’s just not enough to keep up with morgage and other bills and I never learned to drive so I am alone 99 percent of the time! That’s what lonely really is! I have know one in my life and my children and grandchildren don’t care enough to check on me! I live in Gainesville ga

      • R
        REPLY

        I am exactly in the same boat. Don’t seem to make friends and no relatives. 54 now and I often think how I am going to manage in my sixties and beyond

          • Denis

            Yep. People can say to each their own meaning that no one person would never be correct to direct any other adults actions. I have personally found that if one lives in a metropolitan area that it has more clubs more resources. At the same time, it is all about companies spending their advertising to get the word out there. I have seen people in hospitals never having any visitors. Still, some people that become patients prefer it this way. No for me. And, am working on being pro active to improve my life in a relationship.

          • Mike stephen

            Hello Katherine
            I’m kinda like lonely too My name is Mike I’ve worked ever since I was fifteen I don’t trust to many people but I’m looking for someone that I can trust and share the things that I’m sososo Lonley about What I really want is a friend to talk to about problems I have and I love hearing a friends problems maybe take short walks in a park or walks around campground or by a peaceful lake or a pond maybe we could get together and be friends

            Thank you
            Mike

        • Kathy
          REPLY

          Im 52 feeling the same way. Last man I was with was my husband 12 years ago. I want to share with someone. Male female just companionship

          • Alan

            Hello Kathy, I’m 55 and I’ve been divorced for a long time too. It would be nice to have a conversation with you.

          • Sara

            Hi Andrea, I have no family either, but I am lucky to have my son and husband even though I’m not really happy, we don’t have any other family, well I have 4 siblings but they are so toxic I had to write them off, 1 brother I like but he doesn’t call or anything and is going through a divorce and I think he’s on crack and drinks, I don’t even talk to my parents. They treated me like crap my whole life, all us siblings, no one talks to anyone. My mother is selfish bit– who shouldn’t of had kids, she favored 2 and was nasty to the rest, now no one gets along, she is the cause of everything and had the nerve to say on mothers day a few years back “I’d have money if I didn’t have kids” I told her you shouldn’t of had kids – I don’t know what it’s like to have a caring mother. I thinks it’s worse when you do have siblings but their abusive so I had to get rid of them. I got married at 36, I used to get abused at jobs then come home and get abused by my parents and siblings. But I truly believe what goes around comes around. I’m so worried about my son he’s any only child when he gets older he doesn’t have family, I couldn’t have any more children, got married so late. My husband is a loner, he has gotten screwed over by people so much, doesn’t trust anyone, doesn’t want friends or be social so I am lonely too. My son and 5 cats and dog keep me going.

        • M.
          REPLY

          “R” – I stumbled across this site and I share a lot if the feelings described, but I didn’t see anyone near my age until I read your post. I’m 53, no children, nor close family and now dealing with the end of a bad marriage. No idea what I’ll do if something serious happens… I truly have no one to count on.
          I related to another person here who said they had no children due to “a lot of moving and unexpected traumatic events… ” I would love to have had children, but it just didn’t work out that way for me. I’ve always tried to maintain a positive attitude, but I’m just so tired of starting over in life. I finally got married at 42 and that was just a waste of 10 years and a self-esteem killer in the end…

      • Linda
        REPLY

        Some of us don’t have a choice. I don’t have the money to go traveling; in fact, I don’t even have a car now. Friends? I moved to this little town because I could afford to buy here, at the time. And never fit in. Everyone is related. Church, too. My family is far away and I’m forgotten. I have some health issues but can still be active, usually. Doesn’t matter, I’m stuck. So don’t tell me it’s a matter of attitude and just getting out there. I’m sorry I sound so bleak. I used to be so bouncy and busy and productive. Now I’m just a nice old lady that walks to the grocery store, bank, post office. Everyone treats me like how they see me….a sweet old lady. My friends are online now. I love good, deep conversation, keeping informed in politics, world events, Christian beliefs. Better than nothing, keeps my mind busy…..but pretty lonely. I’d like to sell my small house for what little I can get out of it, get a vehicle, move to a place with more access to shopping and things to see. But it’s all overwhelming.

        • Janet
          REPLY

          Hi Linda. I feel like I am stuck also Linda. The town I live in has no activities for seniors. My husband has been gone for 7 years now and I have been lonely that whole time. I don’t have any family here but one daughter and they are too busy for me. They have a huge camper but they never invite me to go camping with them. I would be so excited if I could just go with them one time. I do have a car thankfully because I need a car to get to the grocery store and to run other errands. But that is about all I do in my life is running errands and get groceries. I have been on depression pills and they helped a little but there are days that I am just really sad and wish I had someone in my life. I do not want to get married again have been there a couple of times and do not wish to do that again. I just wish there was some way we could all get together and be friends.

      • Carol Gevlin
        REPLY

        Just read your post and I know exactly how you feel. Moved to a new location approximately 10 years ago. Am single & do not have many friends here. Had to retire a few years ago & suffer from severe loneliness most of the time now. Hope your situation has improved since your post!

      • Chrissy
        REPLY

        A Widow
        I lost my husband who was my best friend and now I’m alond because my “children” abandoned me. It’s very sad especially on Holidays when you pretend it’s going to be Ok but it never is
        Selfish daughters know I’m a heart patient and cancer survivor but said I’m dead to them does anyone know if there are Familes who need a Grandmom or just a Friend
        It’s scary being alone

        • Jamie lee
          REPLY

          Oh my!! My heart broke hearing your words! My husband passed away 5 years ago and my children and grandchildren abandoned me to! You have a friend now me

      • Janet
        REPLY

        I am in exactly the same boat–no kids, no husband, moved around a lot so I don’t feel grounded and am having trouble making friends. I am 60. I would like to connect with you.

      • Janet
        REPLY

        I am in the same boat. Have one daughter and son-in-law that lives near me but both are so busy that they really do not have time for me. I only have one good friend and we used to do things together but she has been ill and her husband has been ill so that has kept us from getting together. I don’t think I have seen her in the last 2 years almost. So I am very lonely too. I have three cats which give me some companionship but not having any friends to do things with is really hard. I have gone to church before but have neverfelt a part of anything there .It would be so nice if some of these letters that we read here where we could find out who they are and how far away they live from us so that we might be able to make friends with each other so that we would not feel so alone and lonely.

      • Zachie Hughes
        REPLY

        Hi
        I’ve been trying to find a site where older women like me feel dating men is not for them!
        I just turned 60 , I’ve had medical problems most of my life
        I divorced an abusive man 20 years ago.
        I tried internet dating several times and it is not for me
        A year ago I met a chronic liar who had a substance abuse record. I had a cat for a long time who died and I don’t want another
        I wish to find other women who think dating sucks
        Zachie

        • Sherry
          REPLY

          Zachie, even if you’re NOT asexual, you may be accepted on one of the asexual sites. Some are paid, at least one is free and there are a few facebook pages, although they may not be active enough. If you explain yourself, as you did in your post, you have a chance to get some good responses.

        • Judy
          REPLY

          Hi Zachie-
          At present I am having trust issues with men in general. I do love dancing though and I am trying to grt the courage to go to older dance clubs alone, and line dancing.

      • Andres
        REPLY

        Being lonely hurts. I know exactly how you feel. Just longing to say “hi, how are you doing? Wanna get together?” Just to have someone to talk to, go out and have some fun. It really does hurt.

    • Denis
      REPLY

      I have learned that there is a grieving process after a separation, divorce, leaving a long term friendship, partnership and a persons demise. Some move easily forward and some do not. The people who wish to be alone til their demise with no companionship whatsoever, etc. should be pleased with their decision to do so. They find peace their own way. I do not want that way for myself.

      • Kathleen
        REPLY

        I am not sure who is getting this message but after being only not lonely for 6 years my feelings have changed.
        I have lots of female friends I luv their company but I now feel I would like some male Chatter

        • Janet
          REPLY

          Kathleen, I was fine also for the first 7 years after my husband’s death and then I decided that I really need to have a man in my life. So I went online and met a very nice man so quickly that I just could not believe it. We spoke for three months online and never met because he lives out of the country and worked out of the country. He was very very pleasant and I had really started to fall in love with him. To make a long story short I found out just this last week that I was being scammed they call it romance scammed. It has broken my heart but I do not talk to him anymore because he really is not who he said he is. Be careful if you go online there are so many scammers out there today and they will take advantage of you and not blink an eye doing it. After this bad experience I decided I don’t want a man in my life. Not for me. So be careful

        • frank
          REPLY

          i am 72 years old have been told i don’t look it.i am in great shape my wife died very sudden 12 years ago while i was at work.my son was home called me and when i got home they had went to the hospital.she died three days later.the only thing that has kept me sane is i still work.my son is getting married soon and i didn’t realize how much i would miss his company.i don’t want to get married again opening your heart again and then losing someone can be very painful.i just want someone to enjoy the rest of my life with someone without marriage.i know to some people that sounds wrong but that what i want.

          • Sally

            Hi Frank
            My name is Sally and I’m 60. I lost my husband of 33 years suddenly. I have 2 grown daughters that try and include me in things , I am grateful for that. I went back to work but it’s not very fulfilling and I live in the suburbs where everyone is married. I know there are many of us out there…it used to be so easy to meet people now I feel like I don’t know how anymore. It’s a hard feeling to describe. Even people I worked with for over a decade just disappeared. Sometimes I really believe people are afraid to talk to widows. I am or was very active loneliness is worse than death.

      • Helen
        REPLY

        I have not moved forward easily. I’ve been alone 5 years now after a 23-year marriage and a 3 year relationship. Both ended in quite shocking ways and I feel that despite all my efforts I can’t move on from it somehow. I am also very lonely. I have a busy job, which more than anything I want to get out of, in an unfriendly city where nothing really good has ever happened for me. I have a few friends here, more abroad. My family is all overseas. I don’t want to be alone forever either, and every now and then I forget that I am alone, as if I was so used to having a partner and a good social life that my brain occasionally forgets that it hasn’t been that way for so many years. I did a bit of dating but it gave me panic attacks – ridiculous, I know. The grieving process is easier now (it was hell for the first three years alone), but my life has not become ‘normal’ again. I am afraid that I will be alone forever, stuck. I do a lot of stuff by myself – going out, trying new things, meeting people, travelling – but I never feel really relaxed anymore. I am also afraid to quit my job and strike out alone – being old and poor – and alone! – is really terrifying. But being here is a living purgatory. I’m glad to find this site, with people feeling similarly – but also not glad to see so many people going through this situation. I would also like to meet up, but you all seem to live a long way from where I am.

        • Barbara Idzerda
          REPLY

          Hi Helen,
          My story is similar to yours. I lost my husband on Christmas Day, 2011 & my loneliness gets worse & worse. I never thought I would be lonely & from the outside you would never know I am. You didn’t say where you live but I’m in NYC & CA in case you are close to either of those.

    • womanovereasy
      REPLY

      This is the worst part of my life and an off button would be helpful. I lost my husband to cancer. i lost a lifetime of retirement savings to the medical community that treated his cancer. I had health insurance. He did not… his business fell into trouble when the 2008-9 collapse stopped all lending to contractors..a fact many do not know occurred. My biz was doing great and he did not want me to worry about his biz struggles. Ah well.. that did not work too well. I paid cash for his medical.. wiped me out. My/ our love is outdoor activities…our home is rural. My loves are fishing, hiking, hunting, camping. Try finding a woman to do those things. And men… no go… I do not want to date anyone and male friends for outdoor companions do not exist. I am college-educated and have built 3 businesses. suddenly my great resume gets me zero jobs.. age is a real barrierOur son lives acriss the country. There is no senior center here… there is no grocery store within 25 miles. Soo I struggle to pay bill. I go fishing alone. I camp alone. I go months during winter alone .. spring is better but better means 3 hours a week of human contact. I had a busy, full life with too many people, plenty of money, 40 years of marriage , travel, faculty friends.. and now.. the goal reached is not what i would widh on anyone. I am truly not depressed but i really have little desire to keep on going. This, quite frankly, sucks!

      • Glenda
        REPLY

        Hello Frank! I’m so glad I found this site. I didn’t know there were so many people in the same boat I am in. Lonely people! I am 73 and still work in my business. Scared to retire. It’s the only thing that help me with my loneliness. I too would love to have a relationship with a man but don’t want to get married. Someone i can share my inter most thoughts with. A companion. Someone to go on trips with. Go out to eat. Just someone who enjoys my company. I live in Alabama.

      • Helen W.
        REPLY

        Where are you, “womanovereasy”??? I’d love to go fishing and camping!!! I’m in Texas, but sounds like you’re probably not. I’m 73, my husband passed in 2014, my mother, baby sister and my dog passed in 2015, in 2016 was my middle sister. I have a sister and a brother left and neither are anywhere near me. But that’s ok, we never got along anyway. I just went to the store today and fell in their bakery area……surprised me, really did. I think I turned too quickly and bumped into a post. I’m ok though, but it’s something to worry about. I think a lot about no one checking on me, I could probably lie on the floor for several days before a neighbor might decide to check…….it’s not a neighborhood where neighbors hang out together. I have dogs and thought maybe I should be teaching them to dig a hole and roll me over into it, but they’re mostly old too so that wouldn’t work out. I went up to the fire station yesterday and got a “file of life” form, filled it out and put it on my fridge…..it states all medical stuff, whatever “handicaps” a person has, etc., but someone has to call 911 so it’s just hanging on the fridge because no one checks on each other here. The only thing I really do outside the house is go to church and bible study class. Anyway, I’m rambling…….it would be great if you were in this area!

    • Debbie
      REPLY

      That’s great, Rachel that you’re able to be so active. Speaking for myself, I have some health issues that prevent me from traveling or otherwise getting out on a regular basis so that I can meet other people. If you have the health to enjoy these years you are truly blessed.

      I’m not sure what the rest of us are supposed to do, however. You can only rely on the internet so much for friendships.

    • B
      REPLY

      Hi Rachel…I can relate.. right back at you! Love to keep it moving whenever the bod lets me.
      Love to converse with you.
      B

        • Easter
          REPLY

          Hi Steve,

          I like your short but sweet outlook. Yes, we come into this life alone and depart alone.

          I am 87 years old this month and have never felt alone. Always learning something new. Began learning the saxophone six months ago and having a ball. Played clarinet and oboe as a child. Going from classical to jazz.

          I have many blessings and am grateful for each day. Do have to deal with scoliosis and macular degeneration which is annoying but in the context of things, I am a lucky lady. Have had a very full life.

          There is always something to feel good about if I look for it.

          • Michael Micalizzi

            Hi Easter it is wonderful that you continue to learn, I will be 86 in 8 days, and I learn something new every day, I am alone but I am not lonely at all.
            There are ways not to feel lonely just have a hobby that you really enjoy and are good at it, something that you can do every day and look forward to all tomorrows.
            In 2002 when I retired I was 70 years old, I was very fortunate that I could afford to travel, and travel I did for 13 consecutive years: all of the States of the Union, South America, Central America, most islands of the Caribbean and most islands of Hawaii , Italy, France, Switzerland and even East Africa, I never even bothered to think about my age, I felt that by the time I reached 82 I would be dead like my father, I did not die but money was becoming a problem, I had homes in the Florida Keys, in Lakeland Fl, in Naples Fl, an apartment in Aventura Fl, a home in Spring Valley Ca. and now in Hemet Ca. After selling my home in Naples Fl I decide to return to California and chose Hemet because was 100 miles north of Spring Valley and a cheeper place to live, bought a mobil home there and all that I needed for security and comfort, I have my car and still enjoy exploring places near me. I was born in Italy, in 1956 I moved to the United States,for more than 44 years I lived in Florida, Florida is a wonderful place to be, especially the Florida Keys were I had a home for 36 years, but Florida is flat and for natural beautiful landscapes you needed to travel north or west, In my travel I took over 13.000 photographs.
            When I moved to Hemet I found myself to be afflicted by low energy, not much money and faced with the problem of what to do with whatever time I had left, when I was young I wanted to be a painter, my parents won’t have none of that so I became a researcher first in plastic later in pharmaceuticals, I decide to start painting, as it turned out I was very good from the very beginning, at the moment 10 of my latest paintings are on exhibition for the next 6 months at the very modern government building in Riverside Ca, I also was featured on the spotlight of the Press Enterprise news paper by the Riverside Arts Council, all my paintings are from my travel photographs, I am in fairly good health and live alone, I have been alone since my divorce in 1990, of course I was in several nice relationships but because of my preference of traveling alone after few bad experiences and also because of my moving to so many different places, I was not in a place long enough to form lasting friendships and relationships, now that I spend most of my time at home painting it would be nice to correspond and meet a healthy older lady that loves art or is an artist herself, I would love to correspond and ultimately meet at a place agreeable to both of us. If you want to see my paintings go to Michael Micalizzi of Hemet on Facebook and let me know if you like my style.The problems I have been facing is that galleries and art judging exhibitions are not interested on promoting a person of my age because I would not be around for very long to produce more paintings, a classical case of discrimination for an old person, that is the way it is. Have a great Christmas Holiday. Michael

        • Sadiees
          REPLY

          Iam 56 yr old woman single one son 25 lives on his own and Iam very lonely would love to find friends both male and female and Iam not sure if there even is a place to do that ?! Soes anyone know of a place to make friends after 55 ???

          • Sherry

            Sadiees, Try meetup.com I’ve never been to one of the local groups through this but many have said they have.

          • Barb

            iam looking also for friends in my area
            i need support & in turn i can support others . i live in south orange county . barb

          • Denis

            Meetup.com does exist unlike what a contributor wrote. In the Miami area, this .com is so necessary since many keep to themselves. It is why it exists. So, you are in the same boat as so many others. Go to your nearest local community center and get their monthly list of activities and then just pass by when an activity you like is on. If you like the crowd, then sign up to be a member. If computer savvy and have the money go to the most popular singles sites that have your info secured (emphasis added). beat of luck.

          • Cressie

            I am 69 and alone as well. I found a small church that I am happy with. Everyone is very friendly. I also have a Shih Tzu. I believe having a pet and church family helps. Senior Centers are good also. I still miss having a steady person to go to dinner with and just be around the house. My husband died from cancer 11 years ago.

        • alberta
          REPLY

          Being alone isn’t bad. It would be nice to share with another the wonders of life at our age. I still work part-time and met a lot of older and younger people. They never look down on us seniors working for reasons. I enjoy senior activities , being with the grand-kids, art work, and more of a country person. I am looking for companionship with someone that I may have something in common with. I enjoy going to murder-mysteries on stage production and so on…..Berta

          • Denis

            This site is for the general public in the features section and is not secured. Best not to type in any personal information.

        • Kathy
          REPLY

          Steve,
          The point pf what ppl are saying here i believe is
          We are looking to make connections. When we age some looe family or never had any.. some empty nesters or never had any.if it where as easy to just enjoy and deal with it we wouldnt be searching here

      • Toney
        REPLY

        Hello Sharyn
        How are you doing today? my name toney and I came across your profile on here and I will like to know more about you if you don’t mind.. kindly write me a mail on (twilliams44672@gmail.com ) I will be looking forward to read back from you soonest

        Toney

        • Jean
          REPLY

          https://www.meetup.com/ Then choose your state then city. I’ve attended a Bible Study group, a Small Dogs Hiking group, a Single Senior Friends group, Wednesday Hump Day hiking group, all at one time or another and though it was difficult at first to enter into something alone where most of the others already knew each other since I don’t have great group skills and am really only comfortable talking one-on-one and am not a smiley person but rather serious – there was never a time when I felt uncomfortable or ignored and I learned to get better at being with strangers who quickly became, not friends, but congenial participants in whatever it was the group was aimed at doing. I can recommend it if your city has a chapter as most mid to large sized cities do.

          • Patricia

            Hi Jean,
            You just touched on several of the reasons I don’t go to meet ups. I’ve tried different things and found most people bring a friend with them which often makes it hard to connect with them. Maybe I’ll get the courage up now to go to a meetup after reading your post. Thanks for sharing.
            Patty

        • Patti
          REPLY

          Toney:

          Do not reply to this person. You can tell by their poor use of English grammar that this is probably a Nigerian scammer.

      • Toney
        REPLY

        Hello Sharyn
        How are you doing today? my name toney and I came across your profile on here and I will like to know more about you if you don’t mind.. kindly write back ur email address I will be looking forward to read back from you soonest

        Toney

        • Helene
          REPLY

          hi Jean,
          I feel exactly how you do! I have tried Meet Up a few times but since people come with other friends, it is hard to connect with that one person

          I live in Northern Ca. in Berkeley, where about do you live? if we live not too far from each other, it would be lovely to meet.

          I would enjoy hearing back from you!
          Helene

          • Jean

            Hi, Helene

            I live in Bend, Oregon (which isn’t really near anything but Bend, Oregon !). I lived in N. California near San Jose for the first 30 years of my life and here for the last 37 – very nice here in the mountains and still having a town with great medical care, Costco, Walmart, Target, you name it – we’ve got it. We’ve been discovered and home prices and rentals are sky high now. I was in Berkeley just once when someone dragged me to a protest about something. Hope your Easter was nice – my pastor and his wife invited me to join their family for a big feast which was very sweet of them – but then I always wonder if they just feel it’s their duty to invite those they know have no one to spend holidays with
            ( I probably shouldn’t be so suspicious of peoples’ motives but I just hate when people feel “sorry” for me since I have no one when for the most part it’s been my choice. ) At this point, I’m pretty content with my sweet dog and two funny guinea pigs and, to tell the truth, so many times when I am out somewhere with people at the Senior Center for movies, or exercise classes, or after church when you’re expected to socialize in the lobby, I find myself wishing I was home with Joey, Ruthie, and Gracie – my fur buddies who never bend my ear about their incredible grandchildren and want to show me 35 photos to prove it and seldom bother to ask my about myself – it’s rarely a conversation but a monologue on their part. What is your story ?

          • Sherry

            That’s right about the 35 grandchildren. I’m happy that people have so many family members but they do not put themselves in the place of others who can’t get in a word edgewise about themselves. There should be etiquette regarding talking too much about your relatives, especially oohing and aahing to others about their kids and grandkids.

      • Janice
        REPLY

        I am 64 years old and live in Florida. I am a retired nurse. I am currently in a loveless relationship and have been for 10 years. I have two good friends who come to visit me every year from up north. I miss having a connection with a friend. My partner does not have any friends and never wants to leave the house. I would love to have a companion for walking, going to lunch, exploring places laughing,, etc. Even living with someone can be more lonely than living alone.

        • Sherry
          REPLY

          Janice, I imagine it could be lonelier to live with someone like that. Why can’t you get any friends? Do you have close family nearby?

          • Janice

            Hi Sherry,

            I am fortunate that I have two married daughters that live in Florida. I am very close with my grandchildren also. I had a very rough time with my youngest daughter a couple of years ago. We were estranged and I sometmes thought we would never have a mother/daughter relationship again. At that time, I began to focus on me. I joined a gym, got involved with my other daughter and grandkids, and realized I needed to focus me. Fortunately, My youngest daughter and I have reconciled. She has grown up a lot and I am now enjoying a relationship with her, my son-in-law, and 18 mo grandson.

            I have met some people, however, I am a “giver” and not a “taker”. I guess I have just met the wrong type of people…no connection.

          • Sherry

            Janice. glad you reconciled with your daughter. I have to focus a lot on myself also but it’s because of my compelling reason to continue living, with the goal of to physically live forever mostly via upcoming technology. As long as I can be healthy and comfortable enough, I think I can make it.

          • Judy

            Hi i want to move to fla but have no family or friends there iam 76 but very healthy love to walk were are you in fla iam coming for vacation soon

        • Patricia
          REPLY

          Hi Janice,
          I’m 64 as well. I wish you lived near me, I am in the same situation and would love to make some new friends, I just never know where to go to meet them.. I find most people are settled with their group of friends and aren’t really interested in making new friends.
          Unfortunately you live in Florida, I’m in Virginia. Funny because I thought maybe it would be good to move to Florida to retire since it’s where so many retirees move that it would make it easier to make new friends. I guess it’s the same everywhere.
          All the best,
          Patty

          P.S. I’ve often said “being lonely living with someone is the loneliest kind of lonely.”
          Just know you’re not alone with these feelings.

          • Janice

            Hi Patty

            I definitely agree with you. I have found that people are settled in their own cliques and very difficult to break the ice. I really appreciate your response. It is kind of nice to know there is someone out there that feels as I do.

            Yes, I wish you lived near me. It would be nice to meet a good friend. Thank you!

            Januce

          • Jean

            Hi, Patty

            Yes, about “being loneliest with someone,” is so true. I’ve always said, “Be careful what you wish for.” Personally, I think God gave us dogs to make up for people. I try to interact some with people via the Meetup groups (as noted earlier) and thru church and am thinking of volunteering with a Veteran’s organization here as I have a soft spot for those who served but at the end of the day there is nothing (for me) that takes the place of my little darling dog going nuts when I get home be it after 1 hr or 10 hrs. He actually attempts to talk to me and sticks to me like glue, in bed he burrows beneath the blanket and conforms his body to mine so I have a natural hot water bottle. It sort of scares me how much I love him and how I can’t even begin to think about ever losing him. So I would recommend getting a dog if a person is allowed to where they live and can afford one. Doggies also love being walked so it gets you out to parks and areas set aside for dogs where people with their dogs seem to more easily strike up conversations that, of course, revolve around their dogs.

            Jean

          • Sherry

            Pets can be very important. I have an online friend who has no family to speak of and no local friends. Her rabbit gives her company and happiness. Walking pets out in public is one of the best ways to make friends. I am living proof because when I was 18 and in a new area, I had a family of 4 kids and 4 dogs befiend me — I hardly had to say a word and it got me a babysitting job for the 4 kids,

          • Janice

            Hi Judy, I am on Wesr coast Tampa Bay area. Originally, from New England. Have lived here 10 years. JANICE

          • Sherry

            Judy? I too would love to move to FL but I too have no family or friends there. I’m interested to not be right on the water because of hurricanes. Do you have an area in mind? I have my husband and mother with me and I’ve been looking for a caravan of sorts (not literally but to meet up down there) or it can be where we follow each other or go down together.

        • Patti
          REPLY

          Janice: what part of Florida? I moved here last July and would love to find someone to do things with… flea markets, trips, bingo, whatever. I’m 62 and live in Cape Coral.

        • joan c carucci
          REPLY

          Hello Janice my name is Joan I also live in Florida, lake county..I am 70 a ypung 70 my children and grandchildren live in Florida but you know how it is everyone is busy..visits come down to Holidays,birthdays,mother’s…and once a month… my boyfriend passed away 3 years ago…it would be nice to have a good friend to talk with,go to lunch,play bingo,shop…my dearest friends have passed on and yes life gets a little lonely at times….

        • Susan
          REPLY

          Hi Janice – We are the same age. I am a still-working professional and live in S. Miami. What part of Florida are you in? My family is not nearby and I am a widow. I am thankful for my pets. I think the long weekends and holidays are the most difficult. I enjoy my home but would like to have more social things to look forward to with a good local friend similarly situated to break the monotony. Plays, concerts, museums, etc. I also recommend checking out Women’s Prosperty Network. You do not have to be a member to have access to inspiring talks on Wednesday’s via web or phone. Take care & s if in my area, feel free to reach out.

          • Sherry

            I would like to live in FL. Afraid of irreparable hurricane problems and gators so I’d need to avoid those. Wonder if there’s a way. I’d like to live near the Church of Perpetual Life which is mostly a gathering for hope of physical immortal;ity.

      • Paula
        REPLY

        I’m 61 and my husband of 27 years passed away 2 years ago all I have is my dog no friends my husband was my friend we did everything together we were perfect together. It still feels like yesterday I can’t believe it’s 2 years I feel more lonely as time goes on. It’s getting harder not easier. I can’t believe I’m totally alone in this world. I have nothing to look forward to except my faith when I die we’ll be together again. I would never want anyone else just him.

        • Sherry
          REPLY

          I hope depressed people are not looking forward to death because everyone they’ve ever loved has died. I think fortunately this isn’t common but I hate to see even one person waiting for death. We’re now in a transhumanist world, which simply means tech is increasing exponentially to the point where it’s improving or at least changing our lives to something sort of “futuristic”. With the anti aging medical control that we’re told will be available within 20 years, we may actually live so much longer that THAt age will actually be small compared to what we may have once accidents are under control. Bottom line is we will either be with our loved ones in an afterlife, either in heaven or here on earth by Godly intervention or we will live long enough to see people actually brought back to live via tech, but of course that will take hundreds, thousands, maybe millions of years. Search Aubrey de Grey, ira Pastor, Gennady Stolyarov, transhumanist political parties.

        • joan c carucci
          REPLY

          Hello Paula. Yes I know how you feel I lost the love of my life 3 years ago..its still hard to believe he is gone…we reconnected again on facebook after 37 years.we found that we still loved each other….but God had other plans . It seems good friends are hard to make everyone has their own group..yes having a pet is comforting but something is still lacking that human connection..someone to talk too,relate too,have a good laugh and time with,,,,

      • Carol
        REPLY

        I thought years ago that when my children grown and I’m retired
        I would move to be around them. Now at 65, retired, widowed …
        One daughter, family and child out of state. The other lives away.
        For 36 years I loved being a wife, mother, and career. Now I live alone in small town.
        How do I find a NEW self worth ?

      • frank
        REPLY

        i thought the same way my wife died suddenly while i was at work with my son at home.that was 12 years ago he is getting married now and i feel so lonely.i would never tell this but i have really missed.i always thought we would grow old together.i am going to be 72 but never get taken for that people think i am 50 i stay in good shape but i don’t know why.

  • Karen
    REPLY

    Hi, I just turned 61 and I am retired. I suffer with depression and anxiety which confines me to be honest. I have no children and family is not an option for me to have much of a social network. I just moved back to my home state and I feel terribly alone, it is just me and my cat here.
    I find myself overridden with anxiety about my will, beneficiarys, and especially an emergency contact. Plus I started worrying about being found here alone when I either get an attack or am dying/dead. Recently I fear driving which I never had problems with.
    Just to have someone check on me is a Godsend, and I am blessed to have an acquaintance that worries about me, and contacts me once in a while to touch bases. Church attendance is iffy at the most, and even that makes me anxious. I know if I was more social some of these problems would be fixed but with depression and anxiety issues it is easier said than done.
    Thank you for letting me vent a little.

    • Sherry
      REPLY

      Hi Karen, I have anxiety and depression too. I’m lucky still, to have my mom and husband with me. I hope I don’t lose them, as I have no kids, no local friends or other local family, just an extended family 150 miles away who I speak with occasionally by phone. You’re lucky you have someone to take care of your affairs if you need it and to check on you. I do not know if I would have this if my mom or husband were not here. I guess I’d try to have a doctor or lawyer take care of my affairs, if they even do that. It’s scary right now. I’ll soon be moving out of state so I’ll find out more then. I’m a transhumanist and unlimited life extensionist, so I’m positive about the future and still healthy as far as I know, maybe due to my belief in the possibility of living indefinitely.

      • Tina
        REPLY

        I’m 62 and have been single almost all my life. I had a relationship early on that was somewhat abusive and just never got over it. Time has flown by and I got sad when I realized I will most likely always be this way and got really anxious as well. But luckily I had super supportive co-workers who were right there listening, and reassuring me when I was about to retire and we stay in contact and go out to eat and movies, baseball games, casinos, whatever. I just retired and I don’t have them to laugh with everyday now so it’s hard sometimes. They are my second family. I could reach out much more than I do now and I know they’d be there for me thank God! We all need each other. I have a younger friend who is 40 who calls me about 6 times a week and we could talk for hours. Still there are certain days that are so lonely but I just try to get out into nature and/or go people watch and I feel better. I know God loves me and watches over me, so I count my blessings. I have a cat and birds and want a dog but can’t decide which kind! I talk to my animals a lot but I’m a communicator! My son will be thirty and lives 5 hours away but he’s been calling once a week which I appreciate. My feet hurt which is my main concern because I gained 60 pounds! Otherwise I would be way more active. I do need a dog to walk!

    • Sue
      REPLY

      Hello Karen,

      I feel the exact same way that you do, I’m 57 and facing divorce, which my husband just recently told me he wanted and doesn’t
      love me anymore…and is never home anymore. My world revolved around him and the things we did together. I have children that are loving but very far away. I have been mostly a homemaker with part time jobs. I try and practice breathing every day..I never
      thought I’d be alone like this. I’m sorry we’re both going thru this terrible ordeal with our health issues. Take Care

    • Toney
      REPLY

      Hello Karen
      How are you doing today? my name toney and I came across your profile on here and I will like to know more about you if you don’t mind.. kindly write me a mail on (twilliams44672@gmail.com ) I will be looking forward to read back from you soonest

      Toney

    • John Shay
      REPLY

      Hi Karen,
      My name is Jon and I am from Massachusetts and would love to have a cup of coffee with you some morning. I’m very lonely but not alone. My wife is on oxygen 24/7 and has been for 4 years and now the doc. tells me that Dementure is settling in so she does not go out at all. i’m not complaining , it’s just that after 4 yrs. I am going crazy . I need to talk to another and relax a little. If your in my local I would to see you. Keep each other company. Jon, ps thanks for listening.

      • Sherry
        REPLY

        John shay and all, anyone with a problem as severe as being on oxygen or getting dementure should consider a clinical trial. I’m not sure but I think the first phase is always for safety — to try to determine if the treatment will harm the patients and second or third phase is for efficacy, to determine how well it works as a treatment. I know about these things because health is a secular thing and I’m a secular person and in fact an unlimited life extensionist/amateur futurist.

    • Jenny
      REPLY

      Ahhhh ❤️ I wish I lived close to you , I would help you. we are totally different, I have family but they don’t care. I too suffer from anxiety, depression. PTSD, and bipolar disorder. If you ever need to talk . I will check back on here. This is the first time I’ve been on here. Your comment really touched my

  • Joli
    REPLY

    I am an early retired 58 years old single female, and currently find myself estranged by my (only) adult son. I always thought of myself enjoying my retirement with grandchildren. That has not been the case. I’ve had been too busy enabling my son on all levels. I know finally put my foot down and he has decided to “estrange himself” as a form of manipulation. My siblings have never been exemplary and were always quick to criticize and gloat. Now, that I do not have my son around I feel lonely and isolated from the world. I do not like self-pity but unfortunately I do feel this way. Not cool.

    • Katherine Brousseau
      REPLY

      I feel the same as you do. All of my children are grown and don’t have time for me. I am so lonely. I don’t like self pity either but I am desperately tired of coming home to staring at the walls.

      • Renda Cain
        REPLY

        I understand bout the kids. Sometimes, they are so busy that they honestly do not understand. My only son, who is married and wonderful, thinks I am his age. I am 7l, work full time, take care of many cats, my own and ferals, and on top of it, my job is stressful and I have a chronic very painful disease. He wants to understand but unless people have gone through things, they really cannot comprehend. If I was not sick and did not have to work, I would never be lonely as I am not looking for a man but would just join walking clubs, reading clubs, and the list goes on. You just have to volunteer or join groups or maybe even work part time. That always helps. I wish you the bes.

        • susie
          REPLY

          l am so sorry to any one feeling along,it is not a good feeling,my husband died five years ago,and we have two grown sons,they don,t live close by,in the last five years l have lost my mom to cancer,my husband died the next year of lung cancer,then two years ago my sister died of massive heart attack,then my brother died this pass June of massive heat attack,l have been feeling lonely,this year my goal is to get out more and make friends,and who knows maybe a new man in my life,l am 58,active ,l made the mistake of taking early retirement , but now l am thinking now is my time to travel,do any thing l want to do,so today l can say ‘Life is Good’and every day will be a new adventure ,I hope each and everyone can reach out and grab life by the shirt tails and swing like a child and keep a going

        • John
          REPLY

          I’m John and my 2 adult kids have moved 2 hrs away and see them maybe 4x a year I no that I’m lonely since I have lost my partner 5 yrs ago and tried social dating sites for a few years but could never get past a year with whoever I was with so I’m trying church and library but not easy to make friends do u have any ideas good luck I could use a nice person to communicate with I’m on Facebook John Bruno in Long Island look me up if you’re interested xo

          • Marie Vogus

            Hi John,
            I lost my husband 3yrs ago. Than my health went down hill. I have spinal stenosis and ended up in a wheel chair only till I can get strong again. I was the most out going person. Love being around people .came from a LG family. But i originally was born and raised in calif. My husband and I. Moved to N.W. AR. HERE 14yrs. Wasn’t expecting him to die! Most my dear. Friends all live in Calif. And stay in touch. My 3 daughters moved here 1 at a time. 2 married
            One lives down the street, with my 12 granddaughter. They come around the most. What caught my eye was your name Bruno. That was my favorite uncle Bruno. I’m 68. If you need to talk or text. Its in your court? If not thats fine too.
            Sincerely, marie

          • Joyce Kane

            Hi John, I, too, find myself lonely, but I am always up for going and doing things. I live in CT and would possibly chat with you.

      • Barbra
        REPLY

        I need to get a life, I feel I’m dying inside, no friends, lost my husband to cancer and now I’ve lost my only sister. I feel doomed.

        • Barbra
          REPLY

          I need to get a life, I feel I’m dying inside, no friends, lost my husband to cancer and now I’ve lost my only sister. I feel doomed.
          I’ve been widowed for a little over 41/2years, tried the dating thing , hasn’t worked out..??
          I’m 57 and live in Oregon . have a dog, tried the getting back in shape in 2016, now all I do is watch TV alone every night and don’t seem to have very many interests anymore. I would like a friend that I could do things with..??

          • Toney

            Hello Barbara
            How are you doing today? my name toney and I came across your profile on here and I will like to know more about you if you don’t mind.. kindly write me a mail on (twilliams44672@gmail.com ) I will be looking forward to read back from you soonest

            Toney

          • Diane Davis

            Your life seems about the same as mine, except I lost my husband to another woman, 6 years ago. I wish I could get a life also. The people I meet I don’t seem to have anything in common. I really would like to find someone to just go places with, I am so tired of going everywhere alone. I just stay home and sit in front of tv! I am in Augusta Ga sure would like to meet friends

          • Sue

            Hello Barbara, You sound just like me. I have such anxiety and fear..mainly because my husband of 29 years wants a divorce and doesn’t love me anymore. My life has been turned upside down, Like you I don’t have close friends and my children and sis live far away. I’m from California, most all of my mom’s sister and brother’s who are left are from Oregon. I miss the west so much. But being just a homemaker most of my life, and only part time jobs, I don’t know how I’m going to make it on my own..and the loneliness is killing me…I’m trying to breathe everyday. I hope you can find some comfort as I search too..

          • Jean

            HI, Barbra Though I am 10 years older than you, I could have written than same scenario (minus the husband- never had one- thank God for dogs). I live in Bend, Oregon, where do you live ? Would be too fortunate if you lived in Bend ! We could take our dogs walking the many trails around here, something I try to push myself outside to do and am getting a bit better at it. Had to fill out a form recently that asked for an Emergency Contact and realized there is no one so I put “911.” If you do happen to be in my part of the state, my email is: italia9@q.com All the best, Jean

        • Carol
          REPLY

          Barbara Hang in there be strong and don’t give up. You can message me when you are feeling down or lonely! You have friend in me. Praying for you. ☀️

        • CJ
          REPLY

          I need to get a life also. I have no friends, my adult children say they are too busy for anything to do with me. So their choice we are estranged to say the least. I have 1 sister that lives in another state that keeps pouring oil on an already toxic relationship. Days I just can’t think of a reason to get up. No where to turn.

        • Katherine P Brousseau
          REPLY

          I feel the same way you do. I am 62, widowed and all kids gone and married. I feel so alone and isolated. Wish I could find some friends and possible a soul mate, but I don’t get out much as I am depressed and the thought of fixing myself up to go out alone is something I am tired of doing.

        • lorraine drake
          REPLY

          hi John facebook is a lot of fun or barbara everyone is lonely in a different way I am stuck home with a 46 year old handi-capped son who is wonderful but I cant get out much because of that . so I have taken up sculpting and am learning an instrument by skype. some days are better then others but I find that getting out of the house whenever I feel lonely really helps a lot

      • Heidi
        REPLY

        They’ll be back when they age a bit. Did the divorce cause ripple effect of cooling off the mother child relationship? Give it time to heal. Were there problems in the home that caused them to become very independent and they are afloat but distant? That will heal with time, too. Best I can say. Be hopeful.

    • Sherry
      REPLY

      Joli, it’s really terrible, I know. I still have two household members and an extended family 150 miles away who I was never close with. The side of the family locally has never been very good, and without the older generation to hold us together, they have estranged mom and me. My husband has a similar situation with his family and he has no contact with any of them. It’s good you took a stand with your son. I did the same with my father, but he had abandoned me years before that. I had tried to reconnect with him, which was a mistake. I could easily end up alone as also I have no siblings. What is wrong with the families in the USA?????? I wonder if the same is happening elsewhere. It seems almost perfect in Asia in terms of families helping each other. Sherry in PA, soon moving South

      • Betty Piscitello
        REPLY

        I find every family has a story to tell and families are so broken today. So many kids think parties & drinking with their friends are more important then spending time with their parents. It’s today’s society. So sad, your not alone.

      • Susan
        REPLY

        Yep, but the kids want everything you worked really hard for the very second you die. These, children have a sense of entitlement.

        • Sherry
          REPLY

          susan, although I have no chldren, I like children but i like adults much less than children. Many change for the worse when they’re no longer children. I have heard of many cases you’re describing. The kids treat the parents like garbage but come around for the inheritance like vultures on a dead animal.

    • John
      REPLY

      I’m John and my 2 adult kids have moved 2 hrs away and see them maybe 4x a year I no that I’m lonely since I have lost my partner 5 yrs ago and tried social dating sites for a few years but could never get past a year with whoever I was with so I’m trying church and library but not easy to make friends do u have any ideas good luck I could use a nice person to communicate with I’m on Facebook John Bruno in Long Island look me up if you’re interested xo

      • Sherry
        REPLY

        Hi John, I’m now not totally alone but the pattern has been all my life to lose more people in my life than I gain. What so far has helped me is that I’m a transhumanist and unlimited life-extensionist. Actually it’s possible to live for an indefinite period, maybe even forever. To be true to this belief however, you need to mainly live for yourself — not that we don’t need people as we do but this secular value may help during the times we’re lonely. If you’re already into the life extension mindset or haven’t but it sounds appealing, please reply. People put down immortalists but very rarely are any suicidal. abuse substances, attempt to harm an innocent person or pet, become obese, etc.

    • Joe Hargadon
      REPLY

      Hi I’m a sixty-year-old combat wounded veteran and wheelchair-bound. I spend most of my time alone because my I desire to be somewhere convenient and adapted to my disability. It’s not fun I’ve been this way for a long. Of time. You have to reach out to people. I think the best thing that happened to me was I found a power greater than myself many years ago. But not many people want to be with a sixty-year-old butchered in a wheelchair.

    • Adela
      REPLY

      Oh sue, I’m so sorry for you. But let this experience be a teacher for you in the future – NOT to rely so strongly and exclusively on someone else for your happiness!!! Even if your husband didn’t divorce you….he could have had an accident and die, or worse, he’d get some long time illness and YOU would have to spend the entire rest of HIS life attending him!!! He wants a divorce? GREAT!!! Put on your beautiful smiling face, your nice sexy clothes and nice makeup and go out and enjoy yourself!!!

      Of course, you want to join many good groups according to age range, location, etc. i.e.: meetup.com among them. Then you’ll always have people to go out with and even find a close friend among them! :o)

      As to many of the comments here who said to be afraid not to have someone to check up on them in case of accident, illness or death….I have the very same fears as I have no family and from all the friends I always had….some moved out of the country and some have died. AND….I’m probably the veyr oldest of all here!!! So, here’s what I did besides joining as many groups as I can and going out with them to the places I choose:

      I sought for a long time and found a reasonable fee estates and trust attorney who, while she won’t be checking up on me to see that I’m ok, she has made all the necessary documents so that I may die in peace knowing things will be done as I wrote them on these documents. In addition to writing my will and my trust (the latter to avoid probation), she also will be my executor, health care proxy, and living will. You can get a lot of info from the good ol’ internet. :)

      GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF US!!! :o)

      • Adela
        REPLY

        (I hope I clicked on the proper “Reply” for this to go to Sue but I hope more see this info too. But I forgot to add an important item:

        I made myself a purse size of my living will with the direct contact of my estates and trust attorney which I carry in all my purses and bags, suitcases, all over my apartment, etc. so that if I die or become incompetent in a pubic place, my attorney will be notified instantly. The problem is if this happens in my apartment…..for this one needs a close friend. OR, maybe paying a neighbor a token fee to be checked up say, every other day or something? I haven’t yet figured this out but I’d love to do it soon. :-)

    • Patti
      REPLY

      Joli: I too am retired….62… and moved to Florida to start a new life. I didn’t think Being alone could feel so lonely when all your family (what’s left of it) is 1,000 miles away.

  • Immy
    REPLY

    I am 71, an introvert and don’t mind being at home. I don’t have friends, i was never close to my coworkers ( too much constant gossip and small talk). I lived here over 50 years, originally from germany, but always had different opinions and ideas than people I knew.
    I had to quit my job in may to take care of my husband, but then he passed away in September. Now I am told that I need to socialize but never was good at it to begin with. I am concerned tho that i cognitively decline if I don’t. I would like to meet someone for coffee ever now and then. I live in NW Arkansas.
    Immy

    • Sherry
      REPLY

      I’m having trouble finding the new comments on this thread and at least one other stated the same problem. I just hit the first “reply” at the top of the entire thread, not knowing what would be better. This is a wonderful thread and I hope we can all somehow use it more easily.

    • Betty Piscitello
      REPLY

      sorry to hear you live so far away, I just turned 75. I would love to meet a friend like you. My 2 best friends dies last year, i’m so lost. I find its so hard to meet some one new you can do things with. I live in ca. would love to find a lady to travel with. Good Luck. bttypsctll@aol.com

      • Sherry
        REPLY

        Betty, I don’t reply to many posts on this thread but when you said both of your friends died last year it reminded me of my own fear of losing both my household members, the only people I have in the area and the only people I’ve been very close with recently. I fear his because although I’m disabled I seem to be the healthiest of the 3 of us here. But it’s good I’m reminded sometimes because it keeps me aware of what can happen and therefore keeps me mentally as prepared as I can be. Hope you make more friends, both online and offline.

    • Teresa
      REPLY

      You sound so much the way I feel. The only difference is I didn’t come from Germany.lol TeresaI to quit my job so I could take care of my dying husband.

    • Hiltrud Wolf
      REPLY

      Hallo Immy, sorry that your husmand passed away. – I am Hiltrud from Germany and like to read in this page, it inspires me. What you write sounds familia to me. I am 65 and life alone.- To have a coffee with you is not possible, but if you like an e-mail contact you can write to me.- (haritawolf@arcor.de)

      • Dave Fischer
        REPLY

        Hello Hiltrud, I just read your thread and thought you interesting. I’m 62 year old single man, recently had to take early retirement. I’ve worked all my life in German owned/run tool & die shops. Where do you live? I have Spinal Stenosis, and don’t get out much at all. Wonder if you like to e-mail back and forth. Dave at: sammydudleylancelot@yahoo.com

    • Helen
      REPLY

      I hope you find someone to have coffee with, Immy, I wish we were closer! I’m same age and also an introvert. I manage to keep busy, mainly because I have pets to care for, I go to the gym sporadically, to church regularly though I’m a late-blooming Christian, so it’s still all new to me. I have no family here, my neighbors have their own families and lives to live so there’s really no one. I’ve recently found out that I have a spot on my lung and my internist will check me again in two months to see if it’s growing. I have another appointment with him this week to tell him I don’t want to wait 2 months, I’d like some action now. I’ve lost two sisters and a father to cancer. I don’t want to wait. Up to this I thought I was doing pretty good health wise, but apparently not. Meanwhile, I’ve been trying to figure out how to meet other people, I’d love to have someone to “hang out” with. It’s really difficult. It seems everyone has their quota of friends and don’t want any more. Anyway, hope you find someone nearby for coffee. Best wishes, Helen

    • Earl
      REPLY

      Dear Immy,

      I have found that sometimes you just have to be your own best friend. In today’s society loneliness will be part of almost everybody’s life because of technology. I am retired military and a friend of mine married a lady from Germany. She is a beautiful soul and he is a happy man at least the last time I saw him he was. This is all the way from Georgia. Just wait until tomorrow everything will be OK.

  • Sally Lujan
    REPLY

    I am a 60 year old lady working full time. I would like to meet a Christian man with whom we can have a wonderful friendship. If it is supposed to be maybe love. I live in L.A California. I love moderate hiking in the beautiful outdoors. My first commitment is To Christ, and giving back to others. I have very few relatives which makes the holidays lonely. If nothing else chatting friends.

    • Sherry
      REPLY

      Cindy, Not sure you’re the one replying about the Golden Girls, but whoever it is, anyone with an empty bedroom or a friend who is also lonely and doesn’t want to live alone can start house-sharing. Everyone says NOT CRAIGSLIST! but if you can find someone to get to know for a long time, someone who does not have a lease ending next month or who needs to escape NOW from a bad situation, you can make a friend, if not a future roommate. I will be putting up local (physical) notices, trying to find people on Craigslist and networking…anything safe and socially acceptable, right? :) It may take time, even many years but if nothing is done, nothing will happen. :) To chat about house-sharing or anything to do with technology, another favorite topic of mine, please email: guessmyneeds@yahoo.com

        • Kathy
          REPLY

          To Effie: I live in Virginia Beach near Town Center. My husband and I moved here from NJ. Have you heard of meet up groups? I am a member of one for female baby boomers. Great group of women from all backgrounds. We get together for lunch, HAPPY hours,walks. I have made some friends through this website.

      • Trish
        REPLY

        Hi Sherry, great networking idea. Looking to move and share house, but dont want to go thru craigs list, little bit scary. I am living alone now, and have been for a few years, and I hate it. Kids grown and are very busy with their own lives. Any suggestions on how to find a roommate and a safe place.

        • Sherry
          REPLY

          /Trish, I will also try to meet a lot of people in person and get to know them. Living with friends is a safe way to get good housemates but you need to know the people are really good enough and compatible. I think this simply takes time. I hope to become a social butterfly after I move. You need to know the people a long time and do background checks early on so you don’t waste too much time and energy. let me know how you do. guessmyneeds@yahoo.com

        • Sherry
          REPLY

          Trish, also curious where you’re living and if you would ever consider relocating to another area and live in someone else’s home or be a co-owner of a home with a person, family, etc. ? I want to have an “immortality” community home for people like myself who are life-extensionists with the goal to live forever, even though it seems unrealistic. (We may never get world peace either but there have been scads of organizations working on it.)

    • Barbara
      REPLY

      I just moved back to Michigan my husband passed away in Tennessee I live there for 5 years I felt so lonely I thought it would be better if I move back to Michigan near my children and my grandchildren but that isn’t working out too well because they all work most of the time I very seldom see them I’m get snowed in and I have to hire somebody to shovel me out I think I’m going to move back to Tennessee maybe not where I was at but I like Tennessee but no I don’t have any friends here and no one to talk to and yes it gets very long. What’s the living conditions in Michigan are very high if you’re living on a fixed income they are a lot cheaper in Tennessee the weather is a lot nicer in Tennessee if you live near Knoxville Tennessee there’s a lot to do so I’m thinking in March I’ll put the house on the market and move back down to Tennessee.

  • patty
    REPLY

    is this really working? if so i am lonely here in philly and need someone to cheer me up and possibly a man and hope i will get one.. my addy is principledprincess@yahoo

  • Otilia
    REPLY

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    skill and experience. There are numerous internet poker books available
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  • Karmen Franco
    REPLY

    HI, I am 66 years old, so far in good health raised 2 daughters by myself. My husband passed away when he was 40 years old. I never re-married nor lived with a man. As a Social Worker I dealt with a lot of physical and sexual abusive males.
    My girls are 33 and 36 years old, they have their own lives and I find myself alone every day. I do volunteer a lot, but I go home to an empty home. It’s so hard to find a companion since all the males I have met are looking for younger woman. I look younger then my age, but as soon as they find out I am 66 years old they disappear. Loneliness is hard sometimes more then others. I believe in God and I pray a lot, but I guess some are not fortunate to find a companion. I will keep the faith that I will find someone until the time comes to meet my maker. I want to thank every one that wrote on this website because I realized I am not alone feeling lonely.

    • malcolm
      REPLY

      I am a 66year old man and live alone i have a son 36 but have not seen him for 10 years. I know what loneliness is like i am average health and look more like in my 50s but i don’t go out and socialise and feel lonely all the time.

      • Judy bell
        REPLY

        I am 78 years old and would love a friend to talk to.I have 4 children , all grown and busy with their own lives.and the older I get it only gets harder.

        • Candy
          REPLY

          Judy,

          Where do you live? My mother is 76 years old and We lost Dad about 2 years ago. My Mom is the Sweetest person, but lately seems she has been stating how lonely she is. I would love for her to have a friend to go to movies, dinner, etc with but not sure how to find other healthy 70+ individuals that would enjoy the same. She is in Thornton Colorado. If you have any suggestions I would appreciate hearing them. Thank you.

          • TRISH Rakow

            Hi Judy,

            I am a 63 year old divorcee, When I first got divorced and moved from our home to another town, I went online to sites called Meetups, to meet people that liked to do the things I liked to do, listening to cover bands, and dancing, or going to the movies. I ended up meeting a nice group of men and women who lived near me. We have been friend for 6 years now. We do many more than just dinner and dancing. We have traveled together as well. Just a thought. Good luck with your mom.

            Trish

        • Victoria Taylor
          REPLY

          HI Judy my name is Victoria and I’m 57 years old. I have 3 sons but they’re all grown and gone. My husband works constantly and it gets so lonely for me at times. To make it worse, my little dog passed away a month ago. She was 14 years old. I sometimes feel like life is just passing me by. Anyway, I would enjoy a friend to talk to as well.

        • Cheryl
          REPLY

          Hi Judy, I just found this page this evening as I researched wondering if I am losing whats left of my little mind. :)
          My daughter and 3 grandaughters came to stay with me a couple of months ago due to marital issues. I had just moved from my house into a 2 bedroom mobil, and was not quite settled as it took a lot for me, to make this move. then they all went home, which is a great thing, I do hope and pray they can work thru it. But it has been hard for me to adjust yet again to moving, and trying to feel settled, and now totally alone again except for my issabella my dog…. she is good therapy and I try to walk her everyday for her and for me.. it does help.. funny how all our relationships with our kids and grandkids change over time as we get older and they are getting older but they are still our kids. sometimes its hard to reach out as they are all so busy with their own lives, that is why this may be a nice way to chat and connect with others regarding all lifes on going change… Send me a note some time… :) keep smiling and when you get stressed we get busy :)

        • Gloria
          REPLY

          I m kind of in the same boat. I m a 62 yr old female living alone and haven t spoken to my daughter in years. I like playing cards with some female friends but don t go out much other than church on Sunday. There just aren’t t many men in this age group who aren t married. It is what it is! I didn t choose to be alone but here I am! Granted, it would be much better to share everyday life with somebody, but what are we to do?

          • Pat

            My husband has been in a nursing home for a year. My whole life changed. I had friends that use to get together with me and craft. I had to stop doing that but I thought they would still be my friends. But I don’t hear from them anymore. At first I was still cheerful and hopeful that I would make new friends and have things to do. But now it seems like an awful cycle. The more alone I am, the more depressed I get and less confident I am getting. I wish my phone would ring or I had future plans.

            The friends I thought I had, the ones that knew my husband never even call to see how he is doing. It breaks my heart.

            I was,wondering if anyone has or is going thru this and how they are handling it.

            Thanks
            Pat

          • Trish

            I am in my early 60’s. I am very active and love to do just about anything, but it is a little hard when you dont have a partner. I really dont go anywhere to meet people and am brand new to this site. Just kinda stumbled onto it by accident, or maybe not. I live alone except for my two little dogs, who are great company. I was married way longer then I should of been, and finally realized as much as I prayed the nasty, selfish, dishonest, unloving to everyone except himself was never going to change.( And the list goes on ) So I had to. I loved being married, I love the family life. And envied couples that had a loving caring relationship. Age is just a number to me, kindness is what is important. I am glad I found this site. Smile and be happy. If anyone would like to chat, my e mail is neeewh@gmail. Would love to hear from you.

          • Joyce

            How do you know you are older than anyone you speak to I am almost 83 and lost my son and my daughter many years ago then my husband died 13yrs ago I live on my own with my dog and two cats they keep me company I couldn’t live without them do you have any pets I live in Norfolk in England but I was born in London where do you live

        • Barbara
          REPLY

          Hi Judy, I am 69 yrs old and live in ca,I am retired. my husband passed 15 yrs ago.I was the type that never had time to sit and have coffee with friends.all ways busy. I’m paying for it dearly now . kids are all grown the only one i am close to is my granddaughter. I am in good health but so lonely and bored. Some days i think I will go out of my mind. My dog and I go to the river every morning where at least I can say Hi to people but of course they have their on lives. I would love to find someone to do things with.would love for you to email me at barbarahatton1948@gmail.com would love to talk.

      • Maria
        REPLY

        Hi Malcom,
        I know how you feel. I too have a very adult son, and have spoken once since 2007.
        This life is lonely but I do put on my makeup, dress up and go out, even if it’s to the shopping centre.
        I have a dog that makes sure he is walked, if not he will follow me around the house making me feel guilty until he gets his walk.
        I am searching the Internet for active adult clubs.
        I’m not looking for a man, just friends.
        You can send me an email if you like.
        Regards,
        Maria

        • Renda Cain
          REPLY

          i am 7l and live alone and work 50 hours a week. I would love a female friend to talk to and go out to dinner and movies with. I love animals and am fairly conservtive.

          • Susan

            You sound like me. I am thesame age and live alone, which is something I never thought would happen. My children both live in the next town, but they both have children and full time jobs I love the animals too, they are the best company, do you have pets now? I live in a co op building, no dogs allowed, it would be nice to have one. Id like to hear from you..

          • Rita Hanson

            Renda,

            Where do you live? I live in Tyler, Texas. I am retired and live alone. I would love to have someone with whom to go to dinner, a movie, or just to talk. If you live close to me, get in touch.

            Rita

          • Char

            Hi My name is Char. & happy to be here. I’m 68, widowed & I do get lonely too. I never thought I would as I was always surrounded by family. Like some of you, my kids are grown & I miss the days when the grandkids were little & I was a big part of their world. I have some friends, all married so it’s not the same since my husband passed away. Be fun to chat with some new friends

        • Judy Bell
          REPLY

          Dear Maria, I live in Columbia ConnecticutI would love to be your Moms friend. Too bad we live so far away, but I will be thinking of her. I know the loneliness! My heart goes out to her and I hope a ice lady reaches out to her! Always Judy

        • Gail
          REPLY

          Looks like alot of us are all in same boat. I have 2 grown children that quit coming to see or call me when i stopped giving them financial help . Im 66 live alone in orlando but tired of heat . I wanna move to nc or tn and see snow would love to have a roommate female thats active

          • Rita Hanson

            Do any of the women live near Tyler, Texas? I am 69 yrs old and my husband of 48 yrs passed away 2 yrs ago. We had a great marriage for 48 yrs and now, I am extremely lonely. I do have friends but most are married. My email is ritahanson30@gmail.com If you are interested in getting to know one another, email me.

            Thanks,
            Rita

      • Vivian La Ferla
        REPLY

        I also live alone and have children 33 and 26. I’m still working but evenings and dinners areally lonely. I tried the dating site and it was awful.
        I feel your pain.

        • sall Bergin
          REPLY

          Hi Vivian,

          Husband left for another 8 years ago and at first I worked, worked, worked to keep busy and deal with it. After a year, I was so glad he left. He was dishonest and had taken most of our money to give her.
          I have always enjoyed people.
          I retired early as he said we were moving to another state and that was a lie and now I cannot work in the public school system.
          I have substituted for five years and a couple of weeks ago I will not do it anymore. It is a thankless job but all I can get. There are no jobs in this farm town and the people gear to their families and friends they have known for their lifetime.
          I moved here two years ago to be near my daughter and several months ago she has decided not see me.
          This has put me in a crisis mode but there is nothing I can do.
          I find I am facing such isolation and with moving to an economically deprived area there is not much to do.
          I have not gone out to dinner, had a cup of coffee or a conversation with a body in years. I exercise an hour each day for 30 years, am 71 outgoing, interested in so much.

          I have come to terms that I must begin putting me first and not to sure what to do with this realization. Also, I have begun to know how much isolation I am involved in and how it is impacting me. I go to the library just to use the computer as I have no internet ( money) and to be with people. I have done tremendous amount of volunteer work for the last ten years. Need a job as I do not have funds but hiring my age is unheard of. Have tried for 3 years here.

          We all have such harsh situations but I recently decided I want to enjoy the rest of my life. Perhaps I need to move but I do not know where. I wish the people I am reading about lived closer. I guess I am putting me first now and know I have to love me. I do not want to die and know I stayed in this town that is so limited and the people here do not gravitate to new people.

          It is my realization that most likely there are lonely people here I do not know with circumstances and there are so many as described by the people on this site. The media and the life steam is all abut the young and the consumerism so even as a Senior much is focused on the young.

          The isolation in our society is so prevailing and it is hidden.
          As a Dr. of education I am a researcher. And we are not the priority of our society. This is the hidden population.
          sbergin 473@gmail.com

          • Trish

            Hi Sall bergin, how are you doing? I feel your pain, I am also alone, and hate it. I loved being married, and hung in there way longer then I should of. Hoping and praying everyday things would change. And a very nasty person would suddenly wake up and change. I have alot of regrets that I didnt leave sooner. Was married to an extremly selfish, unsenitive, vulgar nasty man. Who on the outside hid it very well. Where do you live. I am in a nice state where there is alot to do, but looking to move, only for the fact is, I dont have piece of mind with him so close. Dont let your daughter upset you, kids can be very cold hearted and selfish at times, it is really sad, but kids now a days seem like they dont have the same values. I am glad to hear that you are putting yourself first. That is something I had never done, and because of it was in a unhappy place. But am working on that now. I would love to chat with you, if you want, e mail me my e mail is neeewh@gmail.com. Smile and hang in there.

        • Adela
          REPLY

          Where do you live Vivian? I live in NYC and hope to hear from anyone from that city. For those of us who seek friends from this thread it would be nice and important to indicate the city where they live don’t you think?

          CYNTHIA of the Bronx in NYC, if you can read this, please contact me here: Adela at: pisardela@gmail.com.

          ANYONE ELSE WHO LIVES IN NYC PLEASE CONTACT ME so we can exchange likes and dislikes, etc? As a preview:

          I’m a female in the 80s and with no health problems. Very active taking aerobics 3 times a week, dance international folk dancing, I’m a lousy bowler but love it, like Karaoke, ADORE ALL animals, love the water, swimming, etc. Not fond of loud, violent and pornographic movies, plays, etc. I adore classical music, the 40s musicals and grand opera and classical ballet….If you respond I’d like to know what things you enjoy so that I may also try them?

          Adela

      • Peggy
        REPLY

        I kno how you feel. I am 72, widowed since I was 65, and worked until I was 70. I feel pretty good overall, can do most anything I want to and everyone says I look good (but I wouldn’t expect them to say I look bad) . I am reticent by nature and that has not helped me at all. My 4 kids don’t have any time for me , honestly. They are so “busy” it has hurt my self esteem unbelievably. They never even offer me a plate of food.. I found myself groveling for attention from them but have just about got that under control. I tried a dating site once and it is so true men that are my age don’t want women that are my age. The whole thing kind of humiliated me. I talk to my cats or my chickens. My first husband was in the army and we never stayed anywhere long enough for me to forge a lasting friendship. My 2nd husband was very possessive and I worked full time I just didn’t fight him over it. Now he is gone, the work friends that I was close to are still working and don’t have time for a friend who can’t talk shop with them. And you cannot make an old friend. The more I am at home the less I want to go anywhere. This is not as big a problem in the summertime as it is in the winter when the days are so dreary and the nights are so long and you can’t go outside. So I just go from day today doing the best I can and trying to make the best of it. I am so lonely though

        • Rita Hanson
          REPLY

          Hi Peggy,

          I know how you feel. I have been widowed 2 yrs and I retired to take care of my husband in his final year. Now, I have moved from Houston to Tyler, Tx to be near my Sister. My 2 Sons are grown and are married with lives of their own. They rarely come to see me. They are busy with their careers and their children. I hate being alone. I stay busy with quilting and going out with some of my friends but nothing seems to cure this lonlyness. I just feel a deep sadness. Email me or call. Would love to talk.

          Rita

        • Karen L. McCutcheon
          REPLY

          Peggy, I truly enjoyed your message. Now I say enjoy but felt so close
          To all you had said. First of all I hold a lot of love in my heart. You didn’t
          Give your age and you know something it doesn’t matter. We feel as we
          Feel, regardless of age. I won’t accept you can’t love someone if you are
          A certain age. Elders are here and they have every right to a happy, loving
          Life as much as anyone else. Peggy I believe that not one senior should be
          Shoved in a corner on Thanksgiving or Christmas like a baby in a high chair.
          I have seen this over and over and my heart goes out to the,. They can’t be
          Included in the conversation and I believe they would have so much to say
          And people would be In awe of how much they know. My daughter has said
          Many times Mom now we c.an go out to lunch and do so much together. Yes
          She works but does have spare time. The promise of going out to lunch never
          Happens. People see to think it won’t matter to them as they are probably
          Tired. I feel livid with anger over this. Tired, no totally bored over doing
          Nothing. I am a Christian and pray so much to God for someone to love
          And bring them happiness in turn. Peggy we can’t let people know our own
          Feelings better then we do. I am in Oregon. I truly wish I knew where more
          People lived. I hope you will give me your thoughts on my message. Peggy
          We are here for a reason. Never let anyone tell you different. Ok

          Karen L McCutcheon. Write me please. Ok. GOD loves us ,
          Love to

      • frank
        REPLY

        i lost my wife when i just turned sixty.i have a son 33 he just got engaged i work 5 days a week i am going to be 71 but don’t look it i am lonely without my wife my brother tells me never retire i would go crazy but he doesn’t understand he has a wife i would like friends to go to dinner with all my friends are dead now i miss a female to talk to about anything. frank

        • Shirley
          REPLY

          Hi Frank, I am 63 going on about 16 lol. I dont look my age and hard to find anyone that likes to have fun.. Cruising in my yellow Camaro convertible keeps me sane! I lost my husband 2 years ago.. ✌️

          • Gloria

            hi frank, senior planet emailed me. I like your age. However, I live in Virginia Beach. You live in Michigan. Sorry too far

          • Erika Hanson

            Hi Frank,
            Where do you live? I am in Eugene Oregon .
            Maybe by now you have met someone to go and do things with??
            As the post was a few months ago.
            It’s hard to tell who is getting a response on here, but I am working on it. Lol
            Smiles
            Erika

          • Helen

            This is for Gloria, I can’t tell whose “reply” button I’ve hit! I’m in Live Oak, Texas, right outside SA. Maybe we could chat once in awhile? I never considered myself a lonely person, but since at 71, I now have health issues which make me feel that I’m very alone. No one to talk to about worries, etc. I’d just like someone to “visit” with sometimes. I have pets to take care of, I try to go to the gym but still haven’t made it on a regular basis. I’m interested in a lot of different things but having money to do and go is always an issue. Anyway, if you’d like to chat my email is gertrude712@gmail.com. Best wishes, Helen W……I noticed there’s another Helen so I’m Helen W.

        • H Anthony Fabiano
          REPLY

          i am 72 lost my wife 6 years ago after being married from 1963 to 2012,i have done well in life i will share my life with a nice woman. I love travel
          going out for dinner and you never know what might happen love might happen 1 more time,,,plus i would be able to help a woman that m9ght a hand with bills or grand kids lol to make a happy family i hope i might find a woman that between the both we might finish our lives with being someone she can hold on to and not worry, i know this might sound strange but if everyone was like me and maybe her see how all would be different in life..

          • Shirley Barbre

            Hi Anthony, my name is Shirley. I lost my husband 2.5 years ago.. I still work so that keeps me occupied. I like to have fun and would like to meet someone with a sense of humor and similar interests.. I am a young 64 year old lady. I live in Illinois. Where do you live?

          • Martha brown

            Hi
            I’m a 66 year old small women
            I love everyone that seemed to be my downfall
            I.was married 32 years to a narsist
            I just want to be happy no money required
            I live make8ng do with what I have
            I gave him everything I the divoice I just wanted out of a loveless violent marriage
            Money to me is evil but necessary for bills
            I don’t need fancy things
            I live buying second hand
            I’m just tired of being used
            I just want someone who loves me to hold me at nite and kiss me for no reason
            I’m a person who’s always trying to help others instead of myself I know I need to stop it because I always get taken advantage of but I also know it’s not going to stop because that’s who I am
            I would live to talk when you have the time
            Love
            Martha
            Nickname
            Marley

        • hhh
          REPLY

          why are you folks so darn needy? Why must you be around people to feel good? Nowadays real friends dont exist. Their company is shallow. Focus instead on your self worth, learning, traveling, eating, music etc. If you have good healthcare, you already have a luxury many dont have. If you really need sex, just offer sex directly. Believe me men will hump anyone. He may not want to go out with you (bc men are immature and want to put out a certain image) but in private yes he will sex you. Im glad at 33 i am already self sufficient. being alone older will not bother me in the least.

          • Erika Hanson

            Hi HHH,
            In all due respect, needy does not equal lonely or visa vetsa.
            It is great at “”33” you have things so worked out.
            I’m not saying it in a rude context, but come you age 63 as myself. Then you can review where you are at in comparison.
            At 33, I had everything figured out as well as thought things would not change.
            Smiles
            Erika

          • Sherry

            hhh, looks like you’ve left a couple of posts. It’s harder to have kids and lose then, especially by death or being disowned for no good reason. You’re smart if you can be happy by yourself. If you’re happy living alone or sharing expenses with a roommate, those can be god too. I don’t want to live alone, as I’ve been born with a depression gene. My mom’s side is riddled with depression, thus the community home I am planning. Just hope I can find people for it when I soon relocate.

          • hhh

            erica im 33 and I grown accustomed to having no relationship or friends. at all. by choice, because Im a misanthrope. I can understand how PHYSICAL limitations may come up in the future, which is why taking care of yourself and having health insurance is important. But most of the older people here arent talking about serious physical limitations that make it impossible to live. nor excruciating physical pain. nor being homeless. See those are REAL problems and I would only worry in older age if I didnt have those basic needs met. What most of you guys are whinging about is being “lonely” because nobodys around. I say who cares? if you eat, have a roof, healthcare and still get around, then why does it matter ic others are around or not? getting to enjoy your own company and entertaining yourself is important. I dont think i will have any problem aging alone as long as my physical needs are met. Ive already lived without partnern kids or friends for 8 years. I even work on my own too.

        • Erika Hanson
          REPLY

          Hi Frank,
          Where do you live?
          There is not much rhyme or reason to the responses.
          I can’t tell who is responding to what.
          I’m in Eugene Oregon
          Erika

          • Sherry

            hhh, you do have a point. Seems most on here have enough money for necessities but many have been disowned or simply cast aside in every way by their families, even their own children and some don’t even know why they’ve seemingly been disowned. I don’t know why they have no friends. I DO have a severe physical disability: an “invisible” but very real spine problem which limits my sitting time to 1/5 hours a day and standing is even worse. I go shopping with a lot of pain, strain….after 30 minutes leaning over a shopping cart, I feel like I’d give anything to get off my feet if I had to! Also the “car culture”, the need to go almost everywhere by car…I hate it! I like public transportation, but with the extreme cold most of the year here in PA and some extreme heat, the only good public transportation is taxi service! So I think here I’ve defended both you and some of the older people on here. And btw, i’m 64, and have had sitting disability with mild standing disability starting at age 51.

        • Rita Hanson
          REPLY

          Hi Frank,
          I feel your pain. It isn’t easy to live alone after a spouse dies. Get involved with your church and check out some of the over 60 groups in your town. By all means, get out of the house. Good luck to you.

          Rita

        • Jolie
          REPLY

          Hi Fran

          How are you

          What State do you live in ? I live inUpland,Ca
          Calif … I am looking for long term relationship
          I work in the medical field long hours but that all
          I do ..
          Please feel free to contact me …

        • Karin
          REPLY

          Good morning Frank. I’m a widow living in Florida. Working and happy go lucky lady. But, I would like to meet a good man that really needs a good friend. I don’t have a problem being single, but I miss sharing my life, with somebody that has the same needs. Today I turned 63, still good looking, abd healthy. I hope everything is Ok with you. Karin

      • T
        REPLY

        Hi Malcom
        Your comment made me sad. I do understand. I have no obligations with my 4 adult children and I do not see them. They are busy with their own lives. I recently moved in a 55 year old community which has it’s ups and downs. I come from the health care industry, later law enforcement so I can be a loner although the park has lots to offer plus I’m in the hub of a great city. Maybe I’m still getting use to being alone. I thought I was way past that. I feel like time is flying and my money is not. Would that help? Yes I think so. I just do not like feeling depressed.

        • Erika Hanson
          REPLY

          Hi T,
          Erika here. I am really sorry to hear about your back spasms be problem. That must be really hard.
          The people who have had children who just go about their own business with not a thought of alone be mom or dad, well
          I would hope that they change. I just lost my mom in June. She was 95. I’m the baby of 4, and I think the most devestated.
          Fortunately for her she was still about her own mind and mostly independent. She had a major stroke and passed in a few hours.
          I totally love people, but just woyld like a guy to be married to this last 3rd of my life.
          The -I guess guy HHH, it’s sad that some people don’t need others. I think that we were created to look be people but the world is looking dim.
          I have taken notice-finally to the local parks and recreation that have many coffee l trips and events. I am signing up for those!!
          Anyone live in Eugene Oregon? I’m always happy to walk or if you are bound to your home- let me visit you!
          Smiles
          Erika

      • SherryM
        REPLY

        Hello Malcolm, I am new to this forum and I wrote you a very very lengthy message and somehow or other I clicked something and lost it…. so basically I wanted to thank you for sharing your thoughts and your feelings. I too 66 and I live alone and I have no children. I Went through a divorce a few years ago that I did not want and I am recovering from betrayal and trying to start over.
        I hope I can figure out how we can possibly communicate again and bless your heart and I wish you the best.
        SherryM

        • Sherry
          REPLY

          To Sherry, Sue or anyone in or near Myrtle Beach, SC, or who would considering living there, I’m in PA near Philly but I hate it here and love the South and beachy areas. No kids, very little family left, feel very vulnerable and I’m disabled, living on pension and SS. Landlord wannabe.

          • Connie

            I am a 66 year old widow in good health. Moved back to California from Arizona after husband was called to heaven. Very interested in communicating with other seniors. Life is too short.

          • Sherry

            This is to Sued, Since I’m physically disabled, I’d need someone to do most of the physical work to run a bnb. It’s not a bad idea once I have people to help. These people will be relied on 100% so they must live in. Also I need general helpers around the home almost full time. It’s actually for my mom and husband also since we’re all physically disabled. I would need to learn how to screen overnight guests. Not sure even how to screen the live-in workers. I would like to have a community home more than any other type because I need people to count on to be around. Bnb I guess is what people used to call a boarding house. Open to this in the future.

          • Diane

            Have you moved to Myrtle beach or Charleston yet? I am in Augusta Ga not to far . Hope you have found friends

          • Jan

            I agree, the common thread is everyone is looking for someone to communicate with. Simple friendship. It should be easier than it seems to be.
            I’m a 74 year old widow in Charlotte,NC. I have family here & friendships but everyone has lonely times. Things change unexpectantly when you become a widow.
            I’m happy to email anyone who wants a pen pal. Or have coffee with anyone in my area.

        • Nikki
          REPLY

          Hi Connie,

          63 living in So. Ca also. Looking for companion for movies, dinner, theater and maybe some travel adventures. Single mother divorced since 86, never remarried. 2 boys one I lost in 2007, although my youngest is still very attentive I’m looking for someone whose my age and still wants to enjoy life.
          coolkizzy1@gmail.com

        • Dee
          REPLY

          Me Too! I just wish I had someone to talk with – anyone! My family members are gone , hubby passed on a few years ago. I have only one really good friend and she moved years ago with her family. I’m 70, still working (thank God), and healthy but feel very lonely.

      • HEIDEMARIE COMPTON
        REPLY

        Hi,Malcom I m with you on this ,loneliness and grown Children. I’m financially ok but I need a friend not a lover.I’m 65 live by myself with 3 dogs and one cat. I still like to have fun but all my friends are soo much younger.I hope we both find a companion.

      • Erika Hanson
        REPLY

        Hi Malcolm,
        I am age 63, 64 this November. Been alone 3 years now.
        Seems like all the men my age want younger women.
        I am active, and told that I look younger than my age.
        Does not seem to make a difference.
        You can certainly send me a note. I live in Oregon.
        Where do you reside?
        Smiles
        Erika

        • Patsi Robison
          REPLY

          Hi Erika,
          I live in the Seattle area but my son is the conductor for the Eugene women’s chorus. I am 66 and many of his singers are close to my age. They have a wonderful time! I’m sure if you google Eugene Women’s chorus that info will come up! Good luck!
          Patsi

          • Erika Hanson

            Hi Parsi,
            Thank you for the info on the Woman’s Choir. I did look it up, I’m not sure of you were indicating to contact to join them? That would be nice if I could only sing. LOL. Well not totally off key, I can sing in church, but I think in a choir they would not want me and that is ok though. Or maybe hookup for friendship?
            Thank you
            Smiles
            Erika

      • Gail
        REPLY

        I know about sadness ive not seen my daughter in 10 yrs also . Kids are cruel and selfish. I live in orlando but selling my home i wAnna move out of fl . Im a retired female used car dealer for over 30 yrs.

        • Sue
          REPLY

          Gail, I live in Weeki Wachee, also in California, Vallejo City, retired Registered Nurse for 50 years., I am 71 and looking for a friend. I am very alone , no family member.
          At this time of my life I am just too late for anything.
          Take care.

        • Sherry
          REPLY

          Gail, are you leaving Florida? I’m planning to soon go from PA to SC,, but the plan is to eventually go to Florida, possibly Orlando, maybe Lake Mary.

      • Doug
        REPLY

        I am 61 nut the rest of your comment applies to me. You woulkd think, in this technological age, there would be things like Skypew Communities, where people could discover others who share their interests and with whom they could at least have vodeo chats, no matter what their geographical location.

      • Mary
        REPLY

        Hi I am a irish lady who was married for 45yrs to a violent alcholic who eventually left me for a lady older than me I thought been alone would be wonderful but alas I find the loneliness crippling my 2 grown up children are married and live in another country and been isolated for so long in my marriage have no friends afraid they might know i was battered please know that the world is full of loneliness M

      • Grace Barr
        REPLY

        Hi Malcolm,

        You must have gotten lots of replies. I look for a male friend to chat to have some company, even though it may be remote. It could be a start. I know loneliness very well too. I’m just like you, pretty good health, don’t socialize much and cannot meet people since I work from home. My email is gb7402@hotmail.com. Maybe we can start chatting on whatssap or something. Reply to me if you’d like a friend/company. I am about to turn 55 years old. My name is Graciela.

      • Helen
        REPLY

        I am going to be 70 in July and I don’t go out, I don’t have no one to go out with , I would like to meet some people around my age at time I feel so lonely

      • Nita
        REPLY

        Im around your age and most people also think im younger! I have been moving from state to state in hope to just to connect with the someone! I thinking about selling my house and move to a smaller town where people might be more open and friendly!! I would like to enjot my life again!! This loneliness is not for me!! Nita

      • Jean
        REPLY

        Hello, I’m recently turned 59 years young 2 weeks ago, and praying to meet a nice deceit man for companionship, and just simply Christian fun. Im AA and live in the carolinas.

      • Darlene pigott
        REPLY

        I am 66 to I don’t look it I’m still very active and doing well my husband passed away almost 2 years ago I still work I still work not that I have to I volunteer my time I get up with a purpose every day to do something nice for somebody

      • Lonnie
        REPLY

        Hi Malcom, where are you from? I am also in my early 60’s, it is very hard at times meeting people when you are older. Although I am very active and outgoing it still can be difficult. If you would like to chat e mail me, lcrem51@gmail.com

      • Trish
        REPLY

        Hi Malcolm, I dont know if you received my previous comment, I am brand new to this site. I am also in my early 60’s, and know it can be extremely hard at times meeting new people, although I am very active and outgoing it can still be hard. If you would like to chat please e mail me at lcrem51@ gmail.com

    • Gordon
      REPLY

      Email me if you’re still alone. I just lost my wife in January,2017. I miss having a person to live with and share with. At 87 I may sound old but I have a dear friend aged 55 who finds me attractive but is married and not about to disrupt her family by leaving him. Any interest? I am a sincere devout Christian and that is totally important to me

      • Gordon
        REPLY

        Vivian: if you look me up on Facebook you will see who I am and what my Christian philosophy is as well as a lot of photos of my precious recently departed Beautiful wife of 68 years. We started keeping company at age 16 and never quit till she died five months ago. But she is gone, and in not coming back, and I miss her like a part of my being is gone with her. If you trace my Facebook page back to January of this year, you’ll see the whole sad story and also the kind of friends that I have. Thanks for sending me your message

      • Unice
        REPLY

        I’m 65 year old divorcee, still working. My children are grown with their families. We talk, but it is no comparison to someone who’s interests are shared. I love dressing up so I attend church regularly and sing in a few choirs. I too wish I just had one to talk to. Maybe I will email someone.

      • Claire
        REPLY

        Where are you living? I am in Orange County, Ca. and am 76 though I am in good health and people say I am still attractive (slim and active). I, too, am a Christian and would love a man to talk to and possibly visit (meet up). I am divorced, have one daughter, and have never truly adjusted to being alone. God has been good to me as I have a regular income and all I need but loneliness keeps me from wanting to go out much though I have many interests. E-mail me if you care to chat further.

      • Claire
        REPLY

        Gordon – Where are you living? I am in Orange County, Ca. and am 76 though I am in good health and people say I am still attractive (slim and active). I, too, am a Christian and would love a man to talk to and possibly visit (meet up). I am divorced, have one daughter, and have never truly adjusted to being alone. God has been good to me as I have a regular income and all I need but loneliness keeps me from wanting to go out much though I have many interests. E-mail me if you care to chat further.

    • Jackie Smith
      REPLY

      hello Karman being lonely and lonesome is a terriable feeling i know i am a 76 yr. young white male could pass for 60 so i have been told. i lost my lovely and beautiful wife of 51 yrs. to cancer. two yrs. ago and i am a very lonesome man. i have a condition that keeps me from going out much where i might meet a beautiful lady,so i don’t get out much.oh i go fishing quite a bit and ride my motorcycle a lot i love to ride,but i don’t like crowds. i would love to talk to you about your being so lonesome. if you would like to talk my name is Jackie Smith i live in the beautiful Ozark mount. of Arkansas Bentonville,AR. the home of wall mart i love it hear so much to do and see,if you want to email me my address is motorcycleman@gmail.com love to hear from you Jackie.

    • Linda
      REPLY

      You are not alone. I’m sorry. I have an old broken heart too. Sometimes I don’t know how to go on. So sad isn’t it?

      • lillian
        REPLY

        I can feel your pain as I type. I have lost all hope also. Perhaps we won’t be able to help each other ..I am early 70 ish. Had 3 children 2 boys and a girl. My sons have disowned me. I don’t know why. I am heart-broken. I recently move, a month ago. It is very hard to live for me. I have no incentive to go ine and would like the floor to open up and swallow me. I will wish you hope and courage. Lillian

        • Sue
          REPLY

          Hi Lillian,
          I feel your pain, I am alone too, I have two sons but they disowned me 10 year now. And I don’t know why. Just heart broken. I were a nurse and retired 10 years ago. I am 72 year old. I have no relative or family or friend , just me and myself.
          About a year now, I don’t want to go out of the house. I am not feeling good. I am so glad to find this site and find someone has the same situation like me. I live in Vallejo, Ca.
          Take care.

        • Susan
          REPLY

          Hi Lillian,
          I feel your pain, I am alone too, I have two sons but they disowned me 10 year now. And I don’t know why. Just heart broken. I were a nurse and retired 10 years ago. I am 72 year old. I have no relative or family or friend , just me and myself.
          About a year now, I don’t want to go out of the house. I am not feeling good. I am so glad to find this site and find someone has the same situation like me. I live in Vallejo, Ca.
          Take care.

          • Mary

            I am so sorry . Can you try to reach out to your children? I am a Nurse also. I know how hard the job is while bringing up kids. You should not be treated this way and deserve good people in your life.

          • Susan

            I live in So Cal… and find myself alone too much. I have a good sense of humor and like to do things – however I do not have friends anymore – they have moved away etc… I would like to make friends………but nor sure how to at this stage. I have joined groups but still have not made individual friendships… having spent most of my life in relationship it’s now hard to pick up the pieces of being single…

        • Bertha Jones
          REPLY

          I frank I’m at that age also. I don’t know what state you live in I’m in Illinois. I feel the same way. my girlfriend live on the south side of the city. I would like someone my age to have dinner with also. let me know if you want to talk. Maybe exchange numbers. hope that your family don’t judge a book by its color.

          • Sherry

            My mom and I have been disowned by all of her side of the family. Am not close with anyone on dad’s side either.

          • Sue

            Hi Mary, thanks so much for your concerns. Yes I did try to reach out, by messages and mails, but no returns so I gave up.
            They disowned me after they finished college, they are well educated. Now they had moved and I don’t know where they are.
            I were the best mother , in millions years I would never thought my sons treat me this way. It hurt so much.
            At my age, I consider my life is over, and I accept what will happen at the end of my life.
            Thank so much and I am very greafull to all of you.
            Take care and God bless.

        • Sue
          REPLY

          To Lillian ,
          This is Sue, I am very interested to corresponding with you. We have something in common, we both had been disowned by our sons and both in very deep depression. I just hope and pray that you find peace with yourself.
          Take care.

          • Gretchen

            I’m in Orlando and would love to have friends to talk with and go out. My only son does not bother with me but I’m sure he is very busy. I am 61 y/o female and love to do things…anything.

        • Susan Hellander
          REPLY

          I feel the same. I’m 60 years old, divorced for 13 years. Used to drink heavily so had lots of so called friends. I no longer drink, and now have no one. I just want a friend. I have 4 kids, 3 girls and a son. My one daughter has disowned me, and is pregnant with my granddaughter I’ll never see. I do not get along with my oldest daughters 8 year boyfriend, and so I’m no longer invited to family functions. I’m imcredibly alone. Am presently on a leave of absence from my job due to extreme depression. Men my age want younger woman, and I really just want friendship

        • Arnold
          REPLY

          Hello. My name is Arnold. I am 77 years old. My wife died over a year ago and I am totally alone. My three sons do not talk to me. They want money. I have a home but hate to be alone. I really need a companion. I live near Austin, Texas.

      • Connie
        REPLY

        I couldnt agree with you more. Its a tough world for seniors. I would really enjoy being more connected to women and men socially. Just sharing thoughts or helping one another.

      • Diane Hummel
        REPLY

        I feel your pain. I am 65 and just lost my one true love Dec. 31 of last year and my children have disowned me too and i dont know why. I am so very lonely. Some days are just unbearable. I would love to be able to travel but i am very limited on my funds and i cant work because of back problems so i feel there is no purpose for me any more. I live in Utah. Diane

        • Joe
          REPLY

          Diane, I don’t know you from a hole in the wall but I can tell you this. You have a purpose in this life. Everyone does. Of course, living in Utah does not help. Only kidding. I heard twenty people who live there, love it. I am a 73 year old married man with a disabled wife who I look after now as I have become her “caregiver”. Therein lies my purpose in life. We are basically roommates now, but like they said, “in sickness and in health”. Feel free to write to me if you wish. I live in Florida.

          • Tracy

            Joe, hi there. This is a new blog to me, and as I’ve read down through all the experiences we “older” folks have, I’m most struck and happily by your sense of humor!! Thanks so much for this. I believe loneliness is a temporary cloud that visits, but the isolation is what can be so unraveling! At 67, I’m just so thankful to be here at all, but I’ve always felt that way. Earlier this year I was diagnosed with bladder cancer and so i have a new goal to beat this, but I try to focus on living. I am an artist still in some ways searching for my muse, but it makes life interesting and joyful.
            I wish you well from my heart. I have an acquaintance whose wife has deteriorated for a decade with Alzheimer’s and he too carries the weight of love tested beyond what most may face. I would be a friend if you would like to communicate. I’m in Houston but hope to return one day to the west coast, maybe back to Puget sound. The beauty is astounding, a walk through a forest can bring everyone a renewed sense of wonder and peace. Best to you and everyone here.

          • db

            A landlord? Rent the movie Pacific Heights to find out the downside to renting, being the landlord.

    • Kendrick Klass
      REPLY

      Hi Karmen Franco. I am 55 and we have almost the same thing in common that we’re dealing with. I just came about this site on google when I wasn’t even looking for it. Here I am. My name is Kendrick. I lost my wife 5 years back. Age is just a number as I am not letting age factor hinder me from my happiness. If you feel we can get to know each other and see where it will lead to then you can write me shazzy4455@gmail.com. Good night.

      • Sherry
        REPLY

        I will try to check out Pacific Heights, but if anyone can tolerate the headaches and do it right, being a landlord is almost a money machine. Most can’t afford to live off the rental income 100% but it’s surely a business where you can have regrets if you don’t know how to be a proper landlord. Many people are doing it so it can’t be all bad. I think the biggest failure is not getting good tenants. Renters usually don’t have much money and there is a high proportion of mentally ill renters, so these need to be avoided. I would think anyone doing Section 8, group homes, sober houses or anything along those lines needs to have extra experience and maybe extra money or extra risk tolerance.

      • Sherry
        REPLY

        I will try to check out Pacific Heights, but if anyone can tolerate the headaches and do it right, being a landlord is almost a money machine. Most can’t afford to live off the rental income 100% but it’s surely a business where you can have regrets if you don’t know how to be a proper landlord. Many people are doing it so it can’t be all bad. I think the biggest failure is not getting good tenants. Renters usually don’t have much money and there is a high proportion of mentally ill renters, so these need to be avoided. I would think anyone doing Section 8, group homes, sober houses or anything along those lines needs to have extra experience and maybe extra money or extra risk tolerance. Plus I have no choice, due to a physical disability that greatly limits my sitting and standing time. Meanwhile I must be supported by my husband.

    • Carol Gevlin
      REPLY

      I am also a woman your age who never married but was very involved with my siblings and their children. Nieces & nephews are now grown and living around te country. So I am experiencing incredible loneliness. Do you have any ideas how to cope with this feeling at this stage of life?

    • Manny
      REPLY

      Send me more info about yourself I may enjoy your company.
      I am a working musician, never married, 60 somthing- I don’t count,
      have goals.

    • SherryM
      REPLY

      Hi Karman.
      I am brand new to the site and wondered what area of the country you live in ?
      I am in central Arkansas.
      I am glad I found this site and hope that by supporting each other in a nonjudgmental way we can find Positive solutions to each of our unique situations.
      My frustrations with using a dating site is that most of the men that I have met are extremely conservative and I am somewhat more liberal in my political thinking.
      It would be nice to find a companion that I could share my political views and enjoy that kind of company.

    • Laurel Burnett
      REPLY

      No you are not alone…..I am in my upper 70s, extremely active and very healthy…..I feel just exactly as you do. All men are looking for is younger women, so I have given up on them.

      I have a daughter in another state, I am in tx, another daughter 35 miles away from me , 2 grand sons – they are all too busy for me and I have a son in south tx who is a workaholic ….. so what does a mom do. I love to travel but do not want to travel alone. My friends have become my family, but I would still love to have my children visit me now and then or ask me to come and see them. I do not expect a formal invitation, but when I mention going to see them it’s always “will let you know”. Loneliness is a terrible feeling.

    • Cheryl
      REPLY

      Hi Karmen, I am Cheryl…65 I just found this page as I again try to adjust to living totally alone, except for my big dog and best friend Isabella. Sorry to hear of the passing of your husband, that is never easy. I was married for close to 25 years when my husband decided to run off and leave me and our teenagers after moving us to another state and then try to try understand what happened to him???? some things in Life take us on some crazy trails… and learning to live again alone is very challenging to say the least… it is trully a learning and growing experience, sometimes very peaceful and nice and then all at once its so quiet and lonesome. I finished a medical treatment in 2016, am better now but sill feel the fatigue, but when I start with stinking thinkin I try to remind myself to get busy attacking a project of which there are always way to many. I was finally able to get a ymca membership to try and do water aerobics and take better care of me, which is not alwa