Sex & Relationships

Aging Alone Doesn’t Have to Mean Lonely

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People confuse the word “alone” with lonely.

In a society where marriage has been held up as the ideal, they misunderstand how those who’ve never married, or who are widowed or divorced, experience living alone.

Will you still need me when I’m 84?

Loneliness is not tied to relationship status, and it’s a fallacy to assume that marriage or cohabitation is the solution. Ask anyone who’s been in an unhappy, non-communicative marriage. Eric Klinenberg, the author of “Going Solo,” a book about living alone, looks at the emergence of the one-person household as an increasingly preferred living choice.  “People who live alone do get lonely,” Klinenberg says, “but so do people in marriages.”

Younger people have made living alone a choice; in the under-65 demographic, 15 million live alone and many are actively choosing single lives, at the same time proving that the old equation between living alone and being unhappy no longer holds true. Younger singles are just as happy and healthy as younger people in committed relationships. But what about the 11 million seniors who are leading single lives? According to researchers, many older singles are not doing so well.

As we age, many of us start worrying what living alone will be like.  Who’ll help if I become ill? What if I feel lonely and isolated? We worry about maintaining social connections if we lose mobility. Those of us who sought a single life and chose not to remarry after a divorce or spouse’s death might find ourselves rethinking our priorities.

Should advancing age cause people like me who are single to rethink our status? Is it time to find a partner?

In an effort to quantify the feeling of loneliness – a sense of not having meaningful contact with others, accompanied by painful distress – geriatric specialists at the University of California, San Francisco, asked 1,604 adults age 60 and older how often they felt isolated or left out, or lacked companionship. Sixty-two percent of those who reported being lonely were married.  (Click here to read more about the study.)

Maybe what we need as we plan for old age is to expand our social connections and interactions – not look for a husband.

Words – and More – With Friends

We long for meaningful relationships and social connections. That may be why increasing numbers of older people are turning to online dating sites, which offer a way to connect with others and make new friends, even if they don’t deliver a life partner.

There are other ways to connect and grow our social circles, too. Facebook is a great place to chat, keep up with friends’ activities and even play games with them, like the popular game Word with Friends. Some websites offer forums and chat rooms that encourage users to interact with others. Online friendships can supplement real life relationships.

We need social interactions and people in our lives who care about us, but living alone doesn’t always lead to loneliness, just as living with others is no guarantee of happiness. We can maintain our independent lifestyles as we age and build strong social connections at the same time.

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Want to learn how to meet new people?  Try some of the suggestions in this article.  

 

COMMENTS

1,451 responses to “Aging Alone Doesn’t Have to Mean Lonely”

    1. I like that you stood up for everyone with out planning to do so. I my self am divorced for seven years. i am a military vet but can’t go long with men and women who love to play games with electronics and stay up all night and Sleep in every week end. I like nature I’am m moving North to a cold area for trips out ,with hiking groups and yes bonfires and happy times out in cabins while fishing and even padel boarding. I am not a cook & stay at home with tv though . I have allergies and cook \.

      Reply to Ellen Marie

  5. Allow your brain to begin an excursion through an unusual new world. Leave all considerations of the world you knew previously. Allow your spirit to take you where you long to be… Shut your eyes let your soul begin to take off, and you’ll reside as you’ve never resided.

    Reply to Eleanor

    1. I love this you are amazing to share your information of life with us thank you Jason and Belenda of Tennessee we are a family of 4 all with lupus and longing for peace with this disease and looking forward to life begining

      Reply to Belenda C

  6. My heart was crushed in early February this year 2022 and my marriage and Love life was completely muddled and broken down. I was so heart broken and i needed to put an end to the imbroglio that has affected my marriage for the past nine months because i and my kids needed my husband to be back home. I knew fully well that I must learn to love myself before anything else and i knew he was meant for me with no doubt, because when we first met till after 14 years of our marriage, he was th

    Reply to Erica

  9. I am a 63 year old woman educated professional and desperately lonely. I MUST find a place to live; where I belong, enjoy daily life, feel safe, afford a home, keep active and make friends. For 30 years,I dedicated my entire life to my family and now left completely alone.I don’t have a “hometown” to go back to and very few family members that do NOT keep in touch.I don’t take drugs, smoke, or drink too much. I want to love, be loved,and share this precious life with a partner and loyal friends.

    Reply to Sarah

    1. I am deaf 75 yro lonely twice married male. Wife’s family meddled and took my 25 year caretaken deaf-blind spouse against her will to gain control of her inheritance and force her to live their in a “hearing world” nursing home life. After 7 months with family, she’s a Hospice patient shutting down. Her family prohibits meets and communications.
      Am trying to move on finding a new retirement companion. I hate living alone unloved and unable to share my heart, fun loving and meager assets with.

      Reply to Harvey A Ward Jr

      2. Sarah I’m by myself now for one year since my wife passed away November 3rd married but 30 years been very lonely on oxygen 70% of time and I have no one to talk to are be with . Love Curtis

    3. I am a female 58 yr old with a Masters Degree and 12 hours towards a doctorate’s degree. I raised three successful children who are scattered around the world. My two grandsons live overseas. I retired after 27 years in the education field from teaching, to coordinating to serving as a principal and an assistant principal.

      This past year I started a part time job. I live in a rural area. I have a couple of friends and no ideas on how to make new ones. I am lonely. I am depressed.

      Reply to Karen Whatley

      1. Google Meetup.com and find a chapter near you. They’re not dating venues but social gatherings of numerous disciplines where people gather for dinner outings, movies, dancing etc. Too many to mention. You’ll get to meet new people and develop a meaningful social life.

      3. Hello karen,
        I understand you very well, even with someone by your side you can fell alone, that’s my case, sometimes I can’t breath, specialy during the night, i fell lost and so disapointed. I did so much for the others, is that my propose in Life? I’m tired of living.
        So sorry to write allez these deep feelings to a stranger, sorry!

      4. Am John age 77 -retired on FB am titled as loco concito! Am in Rochester- N.Y Am a sincere Roman Catholic. I live alone! I deal with loneliness also though am blessed with a one bedroom apt. Say hello!

    4. Hello I too am looking for someone to be with my wife died over 14 years ago and I have not been with a woman for years now and I am very lonely for a long time now and am looking for a person who will take the time to get to know me better and spend some time with me there is more to say about you and me if we can get together and talk.

      Reply to Fred Breeden

      1. Hi Fred ,I understand the loneliness.I’m still active.still do a lot of little things .but no partner .would like to meet you .for friendship. I like cooking movies bingo going for walks .I’m 70 still a lot of living to do .

    5. sarah if i lived in the u.s.a and not the u.k i would be honoured to love you and take care of you i am 65 took care of my 90 yr old mum untill she died in may so i do know how to look after someone lol i realyly hope you find someone that deserve you
      paul xxx

      Reply to paul

      1. Hi Paul, Very nice to meet you and thank you for your kindness. Where is the UK are you? My heritage is from England and Ireland. My ancestors immigrated through Nova Scotia to New England, but, I grew up in southern US and then the West. Now, I have no connections to anywhere in particular. I would really enjoy communicating with you, just not sure how unless by email, You can respond back to my original post. Take care, Sarah

    7. Hi Sarah, I’m in a very similar position. I have been divorced for 10 years, I’ve dated some but currently an not. My son used to live with me but now he’s married and has a family I have two teenage stepgrandsons, Who I am still close to but as typical teenagers I don’t see them as much as I used to. I have a good job I have my own home but just at times feel lonely and empty. I’m in shape and active I just cannot seem to find somebody that I click with…. Chuck

      Reply to Charles Brewer

      1. Did you two connect? It is the following year and I am far away in South Africa and lonely. I still have much life in me but have not found one single middle aged man. I am not fussy, I am just looking for a companion, think I understand many men’s needs and would just like a little consideration and for somebody to share my home with me. It is awful being alone all the time. Sally
        You can contact me or if you have a friend… please I would love to become friends with a male again.

  10. I’m an older widow. I taught for 50 years, raised a son, was married for 45 years, cared for ailing parents for 10 years, and throughout it all have volunteered with more than three dozen local and international organizations. Aging alone doesn’t HAVE to mean lonely, but I think that’s a disingenuous assertion. There are people who don’t mind being alone. But there are those of us who do. What irks me is being told I don’t HAVE to feel lonely when I DO feel lonely. Different strokes…

    Reply to Ingrid Ishworth

    1. Feeling the heartache on here.
      Getting close to 60. Shitty relationships, choosing the wrong ones. My son hates me. My daughter is happy, but far away. So unhappy where I live( who I live with). Scared to start over again. So many times.
      My parents were great. Life is hard for me, but I still have moments of happiness. I don’t want to be alone, but don’t particularly want to socialize. Would love to be in love, but that seems unlikely . Commune for seniors? Any takers?

      Reply to Lynn

      2. Senior commune? Absolutely!
        I have often thought of having what used to be called a “boarding house” where solo individuals (women and men) live together in ONE LARGE HOUSEHOLD to share meals, household duties, groceries,also common areas for human interaction,projects, land for gardening, vegetables, goats and chickens for fresh milk and eggs; and to watch out for each other. Senior communities with separate homes allow to a certain extent, but, too easy to be isolated behind each closed door.

      3. Hi Lynn’ I’m Steve from Rock Hill SC. How do you feel about a partially bald 69 year old man that feels EXACTLY the way you do? I enjoy living alone but it would be very nice to have a friend to spend time with sometime. I have been all alone for 18 years and I mean ALL alone if you understand what I mean. Heck’ I would even enjoy just having someone to talk with. Would love to hear from you.

      4. Hi Lynn, I have just turned 62 and I’m working on getting my retiremt check, I am an Ordained Minister and I do drink alcohol often because that is NOT a sin when you do it moderately and in good company at dinner and other SPECIAL occasions, I am also a “singer/songwriter” and I love to paint as well. I’m also a published Author and I am currently very sad and devastated misserably stuck here in Ecuador living with my stepmom who simply hates my guts and the fact that I’m a “God fearing” man!

      5. I’m 58feel thesame my kids are al living there own lives I live in central California can’t meet anyone with substance eat ali with my dog worried when he gets old

  12. I think when we age, well, we only age. Our identity as humans, our need to socialise does not change much. I’m an audiologist based in South London, UK. I come across patients with dementia, perhaps the worse form of ageing in my experience is not loss of mobility, is loss of memory and loss of identity. So, I would like to remind everyone that if you are 55+ make sure you do a hearing test to make a baseline for your hearing and to avoid slipping into dementia. All the best and thanks again fo

    Reply to Koorosh Nejad

  13. Hi everyone.
    I was born and bread in the UK so I may seem a bit different.
    I am 81 years old and lost my wife to cancer 12 years ago, and have been on my own ever since. I was diagnosed with Dementia with a prognosis of 4 to 7 years 2 years ago.
    Allowing for the period when I will have lost my abilities, I haven’t time left to get close to to a lady, it wouldn’t be fair, but at the same time, I would love to spend intemat time with a lady.
    Am I being unfair wanting someone?

    Reply to Keith

    1. Keith.
      I don’t think it would be unfair of you to want to spend intimate time with a lady as long as you were honest with her about your condition. With all the online dating options that may be a good place to start, but please be very careful, some gals may see you as an easy target and try to take advantage of you. If you have a family member or friend to talk with about this, and how to go about meeting someone that might be a good idea. I wish you well.

      Reply to Deborah W Kennedy

    2. I’m in my 70s.from the Bx. Went to CCNY. Wife of 30yrs passed from cancer. Vietnam vet. I have MS . have many intrerests… Philosophy, rocks minerals/geology, survival/bush craft /did some mountain climbing/cave exploration/white water rafting/and then some… I live in Washington state with my lady friend of 10 years… not into druggies /alcoholics/or nut jobs who think the world owes them a living… I love life and stay clear of religious fanatics/and people who want to destroy the environment,

      Reply to Steven

  14. 67 year old lesbian here. Never had a relationship, never been a girlfriend. Being alone all my adult life is tough. I love sex, I want intimacy. But it takes two; and no one has been interested in me. It is not helpful to exalt the alone life saying one does not need anyone else; yes we do. And the one huge gap in my otherwise engaging life is the partner sphere. Ironically I’m told women are intimidated by me being so engaged with the world. So much for my authenticity attracting someone.

    Reply to R.K.

    1. Don’t worry my friend. It’s never too late and don’t lose the faith. Someone is out there for you if you keep open and just let it happen. I am heterosexual male 68 and never married. But I joined a bowling league now and trying to meet people. I have my eye on one younger 58 year old Hotty so I am always looking for that special person and it happens when you least expect it. So please don’t give up because someone is looking for you too, just have not found each other yet!

      Reply to Bob

    2. I’m a 57 year old lesbian from the U.S. I lost my wife in March 2020, right when everything was shutting down. We met in school at 12, and left home at 16 & together since. So these last couple of years are the first time I’ve ever lived alone, and because of COVID, really alone. No family, not many friends, just me and my pup Timmy. Its been challenging at times but it’s ok. I hope to at least find a good friend or two, but it’s in God’s hands. Be strong, we’ll be ok.

      Reply to Lisa Gibbs

      1. Hey Lisa, i am so sorry for your loss. I can relate, i will be 57 next month and May 28 will be 1 yr since my wife Kym unexpectedly passed away. We were together 35yrs and i have never lived on my own all family but 1 Aunt long distance a few friends but Wow many days im still in a fog and feel like im going to wake up and the nightmare will be over. I wish i had some advice or comforting words all i can say is hang in there and there is nothing like the love from a dog,Timmy will get u thru

    3. I’m with you sarah. I feel the same way, was with a women 30 plus years, got sick and she bailed. My family is gone, she was just to wrapped up in herself and did not give a damn about me. You see alot when you are out of the picture. I also don’t smoke , drink or do drugs, I’d say that’s a plus. Maybe when you have a chance we could text, by the way I’m 65 and live in so. California

      Reply to Lisa Mohr

    4. R.K. I was in a 30 yr. Relationship that went to hell when I got sick. So I’m not sure being a girlfriend or in a relationship is better. Now at 67 I have to figure something out, and my end years of life were mapped out. So now I am trying to get my happy back. I don’t have a partner now. I have a couple of good friends and a step daughter who have stuck by me. They are worth more than everything.7

      Reply to Lisa mohr

      2. I live in East Hartford. I have my home but I am widowed and would love a women to talk to. I am 77 and looking for a women to be a friend. I miss that.
        Rick

    1. To have a friend first you have to be one so you know what it is to have one. Its same as everything you do sometimes you succeed other times you don’t. Its like when your looking for something and you stop when you find it keep looking now your in the right mood no telling what you will find. Those who give up are the same who never know whats behind the door because afraid of what ever. We are at the time when we need more of whatever there is out there for us and its not going to come looking for you unless you win the lotto. What have you got to lose compared to what you gain. I am your friend everyone who wrote in is your friend and those around you are waiting for you to be welcomed into their friendship. The more you have the merry you are never have too many. Watch out xmas cards are not cheap.

      Reply to Lester

    2. I just saw this site as I was browsing. I thought it would be uplifting as seniors try and help and encourage each other. It makes me sad to see how unhappy so many people are. At 69 I went back to work part time and I love it! I think, no matter the age, we all need a purpose and a reason to get up in the morning. If we wait for someone else to make us happy, there’s a good chance we’ll just remain unhappy and lonely. My children live far from me but via phones and the internet we stay very close. We zoom and watch sporting events together. Perhaps we need to be the ones reaching out to others to be a help to them. Helping others gives us purpose. I do wish that time would slow down. There is so much I still want to do!

      Reply to Terry Knopke

      2. Hey Terry! I am too old for you BUT if I was your I’d reach out. I am not lonely at 76. My daily is my hubby 54-1/2 years is in a memory care facility in our state of Michigan. Not “lookin’ for love in all the wrong places” but a male person for friendship and FUN. So I’m in an awkward position yet I am still vertical (not dead yet). 3 terrific daughters I have zero dependence as they need to tend to their family circle. Have a super duper day & May God’s peace be with you. Suzyq

      1. Hi Alan

        I brought my children alone and gave them my all. I’m now in my mid 60s and living alone. They are all too busy with their lives to bother about me. They love me and send cards and presents on my birthday, but spend all their time with their partners families. I’m beyond heartbroken. There’s nothing I can do. I thought only bad mother’s got deserted by their children. Not true. It’s society today. We are just a burden. Especially if you are a lone parent

    2. I wonder if you are in a relationship now? I am turning 54, was married to a wonderful man who hit midlife and left after many years. I am now alone, too young to battle this way, living in South Africa, struggling to find work and just soldiering on each day on my own.
      I would love to find a partner to share life with.
      I am not that fussy, just a little consideration and kindness…. and then space to be ourselves.
      Let me know please anybody. The loneliness is hell for me.

      Reply to Sally

    1. Jack…
      How did you manage to post a comment?

      The article is interesting but like all articles solving the problem is much harder – I think.

      Developing ‘close’ friends or a friend is not easy as you get older…good acquaintances yes…

      Reply to Susanc

  19. Hi everybody,

    I want to say “ditto” to the fact that a man or woman can be married and also be lonely, painfully lonely. I want to also add, that no matter how long you date or go with someone, you really don’t know that person until you start living with them every day. I get so depressed and feel so utterly, completely all alone, I don’t think I would feel lonelier if I was on some distant planet with no other living thing on it than myself.

    When I got married almost 23 years ago, I couldn’t wait to begin all of the exciting times and intimate moments I would have with my wife. She has a son; a teenager at the time we got married, and an older sister. In no time, I could see that those exciting times and intimate moments were not going to happen. She was on the phone almost constantly with her son or sister, day and night. I had to wait my turn to get to talk to my own wife. She had her phone on 24/7, everywhere we went her sister or son called all hours of the day and night. When we went for a drive out into the country to “get away from it all,” her sister and son were always with us via cell phone. And to top it all off – she would leave her phone on even during what were supposed to be the most intimate of moments. She didn’t answer it, but almost every time, those most private times were shattered by her phone ringing.

    I tried to talk to her about it but she just got mad at me. And the more I tried to talk to her, the angrier she got. She grew to resent me so deeply, there was not an ounce of affection left in her heart for me and never has been since early in our “marriage.” I knew then that she had never intended to make me the most important person in her life, but rather to just add me to her already existing life.

    I’m almost 73 now, bald, and have only a social security check each month to my name (too many health problems make me unable to hold down a job.) Even if I divorced my wife, no woman would want to cozy up to someone like me. I sink into numbing, incapacitating depression, and I weep. I would much rather that I had never been born than for my life to end up this way… Job chapter 3 summarizes my life and myself. I’m sorry this was so long.

    Reply to Chris

      1. I am 63. Ssdi. Bipolar diagnosis in 2009. I am on meds and doing ok. My daughter I raised since I was 17yrs old threatened to kill her in front of me. I fled to another state where have stayed to be near her and my 2 grandchildren. She stopped talking to me respectfully 2yrs ago. Nothing to do with me and grandchildren who since birth bonded feel like they are betraying mom. I don’t really know. This will be 3rd mother’s day alone. I live alone 3 minutes from her. I’m live alone . Most days I am fine. She was my world. I protected her. She turned on me. I still don’t know why. Old boyfriend moved in with her around this time. She lets my 11yr old grandson disrespect me. All through text. I was close to my granddaughter who will be 20 soon. I saw her in January. I’m lost

      2. I have been alone for just a few months Its hard had to move inwith hime and his girl friend because i lived in an appartment I COULD NOT AFFORD so now its hard living with your son and girl friend He is very good to me but its still hard would better find a comption to be with at least if its just to watch tv only you can see its realy bad I am very sad we were maried for 55 years ever since I got out of high school. Please advise what I should do thanks Jeannette

      3. My name is Virginia I live alone no family friends do not want to be bothered I have been sick over a year I’m 71. No coronavirus but I just can’t listen to the news any longer, bills paid, no money for food or gas I’m very depressed would appreciate a friend to confide in

      4. I wish I had your faith. I try but my husband of 59 years has walked away and will not even speak to me now. We were together for over 60 years in total and I don’t want to live any more.
        Avril

      6. Leave God out of it. With all the children on this planet who don’t have enough food to survive and all the Sierian people we murdered with our endless wars, there is no God looking after humans or animals.

    2. Chris
      My total sympathy. Just found this site. I am alone in a house i bought 2 yrs ago to get close to family.
      Big mistake. Get no calls . Have seen 8 yr old grand daughter. 2 x in 2 yrs. Miss my 40 acre farm so much. Was never lonely there. To find so meone like you would be beautiful. I am 76 , divorced a d oh so lonely. To be honest . I really see little reason to go on. Maybe we can talk.
      Linda

      Reply to Linda

      1. A heavenly moment! When God touches souls. Thank you Chris for expressing what I am sure many of us out here are experiencing. And Linda! Oh thank you so much for reminding me about faith. Chris, Helene and Linda will be mentioned in my prayers today. Oh! And so toonwill Senior Planet. Thanks for this moment.

      2. My goodness Linda
        I’ve heard similar stories, you reach out and risk leaving your comfort zone to share that social and physical contact with those close to you. When in fact you become more alone, for you no longer have those common contacts that are so necessary
        So saying Hello
        Happy Mother’s Day
        Look forward to hearing from you
        Brian

      3. Linda, I’m A 69 Yr. Old , Who Use To Be With Thoroughbred Race Horses. I Broke Them, I Was A Jockey, Exercise Rider, Owner, Trainer, Then I Was Riding One Day, And Had A Horse Fall On Top Of Me, And Broke My Back, Which Ruined My Life As I New It. I Went Through Years Of Depression . That Happened Back In 2004, But I’m Pretty Good. But It Was Hard

      4. Hi Linda I understand your situation I’ve had very similar lonely situation I’m a 73-year-old woman I’m looking for help from my children who are nowhere to be found so it seems like a major rejection I would like to be your friend:

        Hi Linda I understand your situation I’ve had very similar lonely situation I’m a 73-year-old woman I’m looking for help from my children who are nowhere to be found so it seems like a major rejection I would like to be your friend

      5. Hi Linda, I fully realize your situation. My name is Bob and my circumstances are different as zi lost my wife 4 years ago and I am so lonely without any friends. I would like to chat with you do that we can bring each other out of our doldrums. I you are interested, drop me a line. Thank you.

      6. I read your post about moving to be closer to your family, and you haven’t seen grand child in years sad to hear that. My name is because b I’m a good listener and better talker feel free to reach out to me if you d like to talk

      7. Hi Linda where do you live.I am eighty one but still very mobile .I am Scottish and had my own forty five acre farm and worked at my job full time.been in Canada twenty one years .John.

      8. im Pat,got divorced 21 yrs ago no relationships since.a few hookups now bury myself in work no light ahead kids on there own not looking forward to 20 more years of this

      9. Linda< I grew up in NY and was married. Now I am living with my dad for over 20+ years. Things are very nice being I went from the cold temps to sun with some rain at times. Not so bad I feel. Life has been very respectful most of the time. I feel being I have lived with my dad since I began here, which has still been ok but I feel a woman would bring very sweet things into my life. that I if that appears to be kind of what you may hope for? We never know what gift we could get?

      11. I am a 80 year woman who was in a relation with a man for 35 years, he suddenly just walk away without any explanation. He is 89. It is very heartbreaking. All the friends we had we went out as couples. My children are all busy with their on lives. I would just love to have a friend just to talk to and share my feelings. Other people do not understand how lonely life can get. Adolly

    3. Your letter saddens me so much but rest assured there are plenty of people who would want your company. Go to church, meet with friends, make new friends and never wish you had not been born. Your life has been a great gift from God.

      Reply to Londyn

    4. Hello Cris, im Kevin. I found this site and read your story, i can relate very much so, ive alwaus had a hard time with relationships, just when you think you know someone think agian, I was never married but was engaged, the i thought she was the one, as soon as i moved in with her she was a compleley different person. My son was young i have him full time, she treated him pretty bad, i left no choice, she wasnt my sons mother eaither, so agian ive pretty much lost all hope for any true love in my life, by the way, i know this is for seniors, im 44 yeats old, if im not welcome i completely underdtand, i hope you all are doing well take care.

      Kevin

      Reply to Kevin locke

      1. It sounds like you got involved with a narcissist. They are really nice to pull you in, and then once they have you, they treat you badly. I’ve had the same kind of experience in 4 major relationships in my life. Please learn all the you can about narcissism or NPD. Dr Ramini on Youtube has great videos on all aspects of NPD. Some talk therapy with someone well versed in NPD could be helpful for you too. There are many red flags to look for that will help you decide upfront if you’re with a narc

    5. That is how it is for me, I don’t have any meaningful contact with people, all lies of truth that it would make my family happy of the people who still like me , and who ever did love me, my family says I only bring them bad memories, and not even if they know needs are subtle and easy if it cost something to fix it would be just as the song “love is like oxygen” The End .

      Reply to Jarbo Sunset

    7. Hi Chris, your wife is an extrovert and you are an introvert, you both have different needs. Your wife has a need to talk and be around people and that’s how she energizes herself, you have a need to be alone and quiet and that’s how you energize yourself. Knowledge is powerful and it’s important to understand what you both need. I am an extrovert, I am 73 years of age and I Live alone. Over the many years, I have been in relationships obviously with introverts (opposites attract ) and they are attracted to a woman like myself who is outgoing, talkative and bubbly, they expect or want me to entertain them and this becomes hard on me. Every individual has to be happy and find happiness on their own because depending on another person for your happiness is not something that should be put on another persons shoulders. You sound like a wonderful person and you need to know what makes you happy apart from your wife. When you learn to make yourself happy first, I believe your wife will come around. I wish you all the best and God bless.

      Reply to Belle

      1. Thank you Belle, that’s nice advice. I need to like myself again. My husband died 4 months ago and I am so sad. I’ve gone back to work but my heart just isn’t into it. My vivacious, giving husband was the only man that ever loved me and he was the love of my life. I am 55 and just wondering what the point of it all is. I’ve no children and not much family, one friend 1000 miles away. I am that introvert. I can’t just “meet” people. I need to find something around here to preoccupy myself because driving home in my car day after day, crying, just ain’t working.

    8. I would say do whatever you can to brighten your day. Go out for coffee, going out alone gives you an opportunity to meet people you wouldn’t other wise meet if you were with your wife. I have been in a dead marriage for 50 years but I live alone, have lots of hobbies, am 76 soon to be 77. It isn’t the life or marriage I hoped for but it’s what I have. My husband was verbally abusive and long ago killed my affection. You are still alive and can find joy. I don’t know about your health but fitness us a big part of my life so I joined a health club, Planet Fitness. Just being around people cheers me up.

      Reply to Maryjo

      1. you don’t deserve to be treated that way..as it is life is so short..if I was your husband I wouldn’t treat you like that..you would be overwhelmed with affection and love

    9. Hi Chris: I’m so sorry for the degree of loneliness you are experiencing. It must be horrible. I’ve been married 50 years to a man who became less and less communicative and now only talks when he can give me a speech on the latest he has read on the internet (which, of course, is all true). He meets every attempt to deal with this by becoming extremely defensive, shifts the blame to me, minimizes how I feel to where I feel diminished and almost invisible. I’ve learned he had others (woman) in his life that he collected, for lack of a better word. When I was 2 months away from a divorce, I lost 2/3 of my vision from cataract surgery gone bad. So I continued in this empty relationship due to the question of who would help me if I lost the rest of my vision. I wish I had completed the divorce b/c that life couldn’t be any worse than this one. The covid pandemic enhanced my loneliness. Thank God for our dog. Facebook and internet groups do not feel personal enough for me, too many people that you don’t truly know, just what they make themselves out to be. My health isn’t the greatest so I , too, know there is no one who would want to build a relationship with me. Loneliness is a beast. I’m sitting here alone today as spouse had an appointment and he took my cell phone without telling me. He has his own with him, too, which makes sense if he is going somewhere other than where he said and doesn’t want me to know. We have the Friends app on our phones supposedly for in case I have a health emergency. Lonely, hurt, angry, frustrated. I’m 67.

      Reply to Sue

      1. Hello Sue. I have been alone for over a year now. My wife of 54 years died of diabetic complications over a year ago. As I read what you and others say,I know I have little reason to feel sorry for myself.I shared a life with a wonderful woman. It saddens me to think a husband would treat his wife with such disrespect. Being unfaithful is a deal breaker to a marriage. One last thing. There are men out there who would value your company and friendship. You have much to offer.

    10. I am 52,female from india. Have 2 beautiful daughters n a grand daughter. Have been separated for de past 7 yrs. I live with my younger
      unmarried daughter . after i separated i met my high school crush who is married and who professed his love for me still. The first 2 or 3 years were wonderful.though the urge was more physical. Though our relationship deepened emotionally too, i find that some small mistakes from my side take more than a month to be resolved while he messages me like i am a casual friend. I apologise ,things are good for a few months and again something happens to go back to square a. I have seen this happening always. I meet him only with friends and never alone. I cannot call him up too. He either overwhelms me with messages or ignores me. I have tried moving on but have not been able to get over him. I feel nauseous thinking of being with anyone else. I want to wake up next to my love, want to take trips etc. I am so lonely i don’t no wat to do. I am unable to focus on anything else. He says he loves me and asks me to cheer up.

      Reply to Sarita rao

    11. Hmmm I feel your pain. Being in a situation you described can be damn painful. But it is not the end. So many people are out there looking for someone like you to talk and chat with. Reach out there and chat with people of like minds. God has not giving you long life to be depressed, reach out and enjoy the remaining days of your life. Cheers

      Reply to Romola Funsho

    12. Hi Chris, I do have to say life is hard at times. I lost my husband last year of 50 yrs of marriage. My life has forever changed. I’ve done alot of crying this past yr an it’s tough because he was a disabled vet so for many of those years I felt like I had another child to care for. It was tough but I really miss taking care of him. This world is a mess anymore which makes things even more depressing
      I guess what I’m trying to say is keep your chin up an try an think good thoughts. I admit it’s tough because I have more bad days than good. We got this.

      Reply to Judy

      1. Judy
        I lost my wife of 53 years last year and I am lost. I haven’t much family and would love to have friend to talk to and maybe have a coffee or occasional lunch with. I’m 77 so if that’s too old l understand.
        Rick

    13. I’ m sorry you feel in that way. I would like to know good english for try to help you in a better way. Life is not easy sometimes but always remember friendship sometimes is the best for cases like yours. . I offer my friendship, Im married but feeling alone because my husband need to works and Im always alone waiting him come back home. I dont have friends here ( my english is not very fluent) and I have some health issues keep me at home .. if I can help you in something, just let me know..

      Reply to Betty

    14. I know it’s no consolation to say you’re not alone Chris, but it is true. You don’t know me so I can be honest here. Looks are nothing to do with it. I am 65 and still considered very beautiful, all through my youth men only wanted me as a showpiece on their arm. I have a brain, but they didn’t want that. I longed all my life for a big family and my soon to be ex husband put his family and friends before me. Similar situation to you. I’m sitting alone every single day when I know I could meet another, but the enthusiasm and spirit has been taken out of me over the years with being lied to and cheated on. My husband said I was the perfect wife in every way, but that still wasn’t enough. I feel the same that I wish I hadn’t been born rather than go through this lonliness. Friends have families and husband’s. I just feel like an outsider. It’s no consolation I know. But there are billions in this situation, your not alone. Being bald is not not an issue. It’s our age and the damage been done to us by others, that make us feel so worthless. Some people are more sensitive than others and suffer more. Unfortunately we are those

      Reply to Michaela

    15. I am Joani. I keep throwing myself out of commenting…just want to say you sound young at ❤.. A weeper….is woman’s dream boat…wow.. a man with real emotion. It took me 60 years to see I was walked on being so nice. It’s hard to find respectful people. I hate to say that.

      Reply to Joani

    16. Hello, I’m 65, veteran, retired and my wife is 46 years old. We’ve been married 22 years fighting/arguing pretty much the whole time. My daughter and 2 sons are in college, and 1 son will be 18 this December. My wife hasn’t been working for 6 years claiming that she has to take kids to school. She’s an accountant but very lazy. Our home has a hefty equity and thinking of giving it to her or selling it and give money to the kids with the expensives furniture. I just want to be happy at last.

      Reply to Robert

  20. The real problem is that so many women at my age many years ago at the age of 21 never really wanted a relationship, and they just wanted to date so many guys at the same time instead settling down with only one. And when i first started going out, i really hated it since i knew that i was going to have a very difficult time meeting a good woman that would had feel the very same way that i did. In other words, most women just wanted to go out and party all the time since they were only 21. And i was the exception to the rule, and i was really hoping to meet a good woman to just be my steady girlfriend which unfortunately never happened. I was a good looking man at that time that kept in shape, worked a regular steady job, had a pay check every single week, and still i had trouble meeting a good woman. And yet so many cousins in my family really lucked out when they found love. It is like God really punished me by putting a real Curse on me for no reason when i was really hoping to meet a good woman to fall in love with me. And then when i had finally moved to another state, my luck started to change and i started dating quite a few women which i was hoping that i would finally meet that special woman, and i really did. Then we did get married after dating for three years, and that was in 1987. We were married for 15 years before she cheated on me, and she just turned out to be a low life loser unfortunately. And at that time, i had really thought that i had finally met the love of my life which wasn’t the case. Now single and alone again really sucks, especially when everyone else that i know are all settled down with their families. It is like many other people were just very lucky and blessed when they found love, and many others like us just weren’t.

    Reply to Mike

    1. Hello Mike, I understand where you’re coming from, I had 2 failed marriages and I too thought both times that I had found “the one” but unfortunately that wasn’t the case. Now I’m in my 60’s and single, not lonely. I do sometimes tend to envy those around me in happy and long standing relationship and I tend to feel somewhat isolated and out of place at times. But I just try to be happy for them.

      Reply to Rosa

    2. Hi Mike.
      Some of us may have found that one true love, but still end up at the same place you are. Lonely, feeling out of place….like you’re just sitting back watching everyone else live THEIR lives.
      My name is Lisa. I’m about to turn 52, and for the first time in my life, I feel lost, alone and alone of times scared.
      I was married to the love of my life for 24 yr. Literally half of my life. Three yrs ago, without warning, my best friend, the person i was going to grow old with, walked in the house and told me he was leaving. And he left. He was re-married in 6 months. I was devastated. I didn’t know what to do or how to live without him. For 25 yrs, I didnt make a single decision, no matter how big or how small, without discussing it with him first. That same year, 7 months later, my mom passed. She was my rock, and was my person to go to for everything. We talked EVERY NIGHT. :)
      Within 7 months, I lost my husband and my momma. I have children and siblings, but my kids are grown with families of their own and my siblings are both happily married and have wonderful lives. Of course, I’m happy for them all, but it sure gets gut wrenching, lonely watching them all be happy together, a d sharing their lives with each other. I smile, and pretend to be ok. But I cant remember not a single night in the last 3 yrs, I haven’t gone to bed and cried. People say time heals everything. For me….not so much. I’m just as sad and lonely today that I was the day he walked out of my life, and the day I held my mommas hand as she exhaled her last breath.
      I mentioned my age, and I often get angry and wonder ” why couldnt he have left me when I was still young, and had it going on??” Lol ya know..would be easy to have found someone else. But now, I’m old, fat and sad… who wants that?? :) i would LOVE to have that kind of love again…I ache for it. But the reality of it all is I’ll most likely never have it again. I guess I should be grateful that at least I DID have that kind of love, right?
      I’m just lonely. IM scared of getting older alone and having no one there to help me. I often feel forgotten.
      You sound like a man with a huge heart Mike. I pray God sends a wonderful woman to you. :)
      …..if ya have a minute, ya think you might could pray that same prayer for me? Thatd be great.
      Take care of yourself.

      Reply to Lisa R Jefferis

      1. Dear Lisa

        I shall pray for you tonight and in the future.
        I am so sorry for your sadness. Please find some kind of club locally or volunteer to help somewhere. Do anything to get out of the house. You will find someone to spend time with and with whom you can share special moments. I know you will. Have faith…
        Love,
        Michael

      3. I’m sorry for how your feel. I’m 70 and have no children – always depended on my nieces and nephew because I did so so much for them but they have their own lives. I just have no one to share my life with – I regret so many things. I find myself being envious of people who have children, grandchildren, spouses, a ton of friends – I don’t have that. I’m trying so hard to live my lonely life – but it is tough!

      5. I am praying for you Lisa. I know that has to hurt. Your still young. 59 is not old. Beauty does come from within shining out. Nothing can take your beauty away. With the love you’re wanting to share your a beautiful person no doubt. I ask the great almighty right now to let you feel and know how very much u r LOVED.

      6. Lisa,
        It was wrong the way he left you and I’m sorry about your mother. Yet though you feel you don’t have it going on (smile) I think you do. Being afraid of being hurt again is everyone’s nightmare. When you give it your all only to be deceive it’s hard to bounce back…but you have too. You are young and I’m sure have wonderful qualities. But first you need to believe in you. Go get your hair done look in the mirror and say I’m a good person because I believe you are. Don’t give up.

    3. Hi! I’ve been reading a lot of these, stories, lives,
      I just want to say, God does not punish! He loves you, He is love! God our father in heaven. He is everywhere! died for our sins. But had to be of flesh to go through with the plan for us.

      Anyway! He doesn’t punish , we have choices,
      We need to understand his love letter to us. The King James Bible would be the best. He has a plan and we need to know it. It’s beautiful.
      I am also single at 60, a young 60. I have one of mine living with me. He’s 26 moving soon!
      So I have to get into some things and meet some people! I would love to have a companion. I don’t know how to go about it. Anyway. I hope all of you find what your looking for. Be happy! Enjoy life.
      Gwen

      Reply to Gwen

      2. Oh I know I don’t have no glue and my name is Dan, I feel the same way I’m lonely in 58 and is not fun being alone it’s really depressing why I try to get on here and see who’s on here and meet new people if you’d like to talk sometime give me an email back thanks take care of my prayers are with you.

    4. Good morning my dear thank God we are still here in the land of the living enjoying the fresh breeze im thankful..its so hard to meet gunine freind to reason with but lots of good person still out there..scammers taking over im looking for God fearing friends so we can talk about the facts of life ..lots of go0od people still out there just looking for some one to share a kind words especially when the children are big an on there own..was married for 32 yrs but unfaithfulness take over so that

      Reply to Blessed

      1. Hi Fred ,I understand the loneliness.I’m still active.still do a lot of little things .but no partner .would like to meet you .for friendship. I like cooking movies bingo going for walks .I’m 70 still a lot of living to do .

  21. Hello. I found this website because my husband was a senior too, he had many illnesses but it was not a problem for us for being happy. He really loved life, we were very happy together, in our world I learned to took care of him in every single detail, He was the most lovable and wonderful husband I could ever had. I felt me so lonely since he pass away. I am 48 years old, I live in Lima Peru, he was Canadian, we were not rich but we were happy having a dinner, going to the pool, watching tv. I dont want to be alone, depressed. This covid destroyed my life. Maybe one day I will find someone to share my life with, someone who needs me , who needs a hug, who can offer me his shoulder to rely on and live in peace being happy in our world.

    Reply to ROSA

      1. Through journies of life we disembark at a station of unknowns; unlike times before when we were without fear& full of confidence. Not only have our biological abilities become challenged beyond what our heart n soul finds their way to conquer; but also, the world is ever changing beyond wisdom’s discernment for safe & stable direction.
        What is lacking most is truth. Truth holds all hope. Without hope, there’s no positive promise (aka trust).
        Without trust all else crumbles & therein is the deceitful cycle destroying any motivation in pursuing anything real.
        Therefore building foundations from fear. At every angle there are hidden agendas giving way to no reality.
        Without truth there’s only the alternative new world intentional “less than” full disclosure thinking and acceptable collateral death ro one’s soul.
        If you monitor hope leaving one’s soul, it’s a slow process as the last flicker of light burns out.
        Reaching out has stopped because HOPE was seared from living out the lies that had to be choked down.
        Only foundations of truth can restore the hope that births new life.
        Love love love

      2. Every age has its charm. You just need to know how to live. There are miserable people who are 30 and happy people who are 80. It’s all about knowing how to live your proper age.
        And properly living is how YOU want to live, not how society wants you to live your age (not trying to be pragmatic).

      1. Hi Mike. My name is Elizabeth. I read your comment and I’m sorry you’ve been unlucky at love. I have been, too, as have many people.
        I took care of my parents for over 17 years after having been married and divorced.
        Then when my Mom passed, I found myself alone. No friends living in my state (Texas) either.
        I have my dogs though, so they’ve made it much more bearable.
        I would like to communicate with a man who’s kind and wants to have a lady friend.
        I’m a conservative woman in her 60s who prays. I also read a lot. I love nature and animals.
        I’m a basically happy person but lonely for companionship and friendship.
        It’s just not right that we should be alone in our Senior years.
        We all deserve friendship and companionship.

    3. Rosa I can feel your pain and truely wish you NUMBERS CHAPTER 6 VERSE 24 THRU 26…
      AND ISAIAH 41 VS 10 & ISAIAH 48 VS 17….
      Iam 70 FAT not to good looking BUT WANT LOVE AND AFFECTION. A wee place in the country a fire place FIRE in doors and out and the love of a good woman.
      Are you the least bit interested ? if so please EMAIL ME…vicgogan7gmail.com… wishing YOU….NUMBERS CHAPTER 6 VERSES 24 THRU 26….AND ISAIAH CHAPTER 41 VERSE 10 & ISAIAH 48 VS 17…Take care my friend and may GOD give you the morning Hug over coffee and the tenderness you seek DAY & NIGHT with some one who TRULY CARES…GOD BLESS…

      Reply to Vic Gogan

  22. I’m an 81 year old new widower. My dear wife of an only 6-1/2 year marriage died from complications of dementia on her 81st birthday, 10/23/20. I have a small 2 acre farm in northern Nevada, where now, I raise poultry – chickens, ducks and turkeys, and sell their eggs, when available. I live on Social Security, but manage carefully. I’m not looking for another wife, just a nice lady with whom I can communicate, and perhaps have dinner or lunch. I lost my former wife of 49 years on July 3, 2011, and met my current wife in 2013. The quiet is almost unbearable, but I have my dogs and cats to help me keep my sanity. I’m a retired communications supervisor and union president. I’m also a farmer and former ranch hand.

    Reply to John

      1. Sounds Teresa, It is so good to hear from others that can support each other in many ways.. This gives me big hope for the last of my days, but sounds like you have it. Good luck and let me hear about anything new…

      2. Hi Teresa,
        I’m suffering from cabin fever. You may not believe this, but I had bad feelings about 2020 last year.
        I know how to be respectable online.

    2. Hi John. I am just saying hello and hoping you are safe and healthy. it’s really tough to loose our loved ones, like you said pain can be unbearable.
      i am glad you left a comment here and looks like a lot of people are responding .
      I am wishing you and everyone happy holiday and health.

      Reply to iryna

      1. I think, I need not hide my age here. I am 83. And telling 58/63 on sites. I strongly feel to join here but the truth is I have my caring and loving wife. But still I need sex chat .

    4. Hi John
      I am all alone too and in the pandemic I’m scared too but the loneliness is unbearable. I cry all the time. I have no close friends and no one to even talk to. I hope you are doing better and find happiness. This is Hell on me. Stay safe.

      Reply to Dana Price

      1. Me too. I had a breakup with my fiance a few months before covid. My only children, twins, live on the opposite coast. I cry all the time. I can not believe someone else is living in this hell I am in. I guess we will survive but honestly this is the loneliest time of my life.

      2. I’m in the same position you are exactly. If you can make yourself go outside for a walk every day it does help. I haven’t been doing that but yesterday I felt like I was about to explode so I was literally forced outside in the walk did help me. Having no friends because they all have children and grandchildren in spouses and I don’t. And having no family left and nobody to talk to at all it’s just unbearableI’m in the same position you are exactly. If you can make yourself go outside for a walk every day it does help. I haven’t been doing that but yesterday I felt like I was about to explode so I was literally forced outside in the walk did help me. Having no friends because they all have children and grandchildren in spouses and I don’t. And having no family left and nobody to talk to at all it’s just unbearable. It’s also scary not having any children or anyone to help if I become ill or die there’s no one to bury me.

      4. Hi Dana: I am so sorry you are feeling so bad. I too am feeling the sadness of not having people to talk to and visit and play games etc. I was thinking there must be a way we can communicate with others and not live in this daily sadness not to mention loneliness. I came here to take care of my brother with Parkinson’s and he died shortly after I got here. I have no other family. Would you care to visit?

    6. Hi John, I live in Ontario Canada. I am divorced,71 years old. I owned and operated a beauty salon,for many years. I do get lonely,I have a little dog,that is wonderful company. I have a younger sister,who is an Anglican Priest married,but she really does not have time for me. I have three grown children,grandchildren,but they have their own lives,and sometimes I feel so sad. Well enough about that. I understand how you feel,life it tough. Colleen

      Reply to colleen Smith

    7. John, I am terribly sorry for your loss. My husband of 38 years died in 2014. Please forgive me that I don’t like to text. I’m 70 and will be moving to Colorado in April of this year. You can contact me here

      Reply to Honey

  23. Hello i am in my early 50s i am looking for either a couple or a single man. Who have a ranch. That need help and that they have a small house so i can live in.and i would be glad to be of. Company to them and help. I would love to live on a ranch or farm i am tired of the city life. But really i never wanted to live in the city but i did. for my parents and im getting to that age that i just want to cherish the nature and lands and be in peace and quiet

    Reply to Deborah

    1. Hi Deborah…My name is Vince I live in Florida not far from the beach. I just turned 61 on April 4th. I second wife died over 8 years ago I was in my fifties. I just recently got approved for a disability for diabetes and neuropathy. I moved further up the coast with my older mother who is now 85 and really needs help as life expectancy is coming to an end.

      When she passes I will be alone in this house and so very beautiful house and I sure would like some company someone to share it with. I just don’t know what to do everyday all I do is watch TV I go back outside have a cigarette go back and watch TV all my friends have passed away or just have their own lives. I still believe I am attractive man I can’t believe I’m alone. And I would say I have an open invitation tell anyone who was normal and is in the same situation and I would like to share company.
      Vince

      Reply to VINCE

      1. I would be interested in meeting you. I live in Bartow Florida in the house by myself I am a widow 73 years old I love the beach

      2. Hi Fred ,I understand the loneliness.I’m still active.still do a lot of little things .but no partner .would like to meet you .for friendship. I like cooking movies bingo going for walks .I’m 70 still a lot of living to do .life has to go on . I always say life can be short .but long if you learn to live in the here and now . My kids are all home owners so I do travel to see them just to get away from things where I live at .I do live the summers because winters can be brutal. Nice to meet you

    2. Hi……I read your remarks and let me say ‘ I know thefeelin’…however, girl I’ve also gotta Feelin’ o.k.. What I know is you have to look at ‘hand across sky as well as ‘hand across (t”,b#, r+,r$, s*) worked waters. Remember being above!..not so earthy or b’neath all hell till cross proposals….is BesT!! I should be ..a Can-doer myself and KnoW lonely like rock none can reach!..I’m the single legend pushin’ 60. You kinda young but not naive so try being close to all nature!..penned or not and like seagull & bluebird , social good is all around you—just remember to make time for possibles while exploring the vertuals -among sacred angel-freebirds ! They can help you though if marriage is abeastiepie that don’t add up…don’t tie yourself down to farm just be woodsie and descrete towards your dominions…a saviour’s windtalker will do the rest. Let go!..it’s o.k. & theirs time..Why be so superskilled before guy makes princess’s entrance & day?… dream a little/care lots hope this helps. Think young not stung!end.[T.’teen-ager’ ..my best always]

      Reply to Tino brow#

  24. Okay, it’s August, 2020 now and there is a “PANDEMIC”!!!!!………I can’t go out to volunteer!!! I live in NYC and try to meet an attractive older gentleman in this City is like looking for a “diamond in the rough”!!!!!………..I wish I didn’t live here even when I was younger because this is the WORST CITY to be older in and even when I was younger it was BAD!!!!…Now this City has completely fallen apart as this Mayor has pretty much destroyed it!!!!…………Due to the pandemic everything has disappeared and who knows what YEAR it will come back…It will NEVER be the same again!!!!….So where can someone who is older and very attractive meet a “gentleman” that is “normal” in this City or anywhere for that matter????…………………Would love to know if there is anyone out there in this USA looking for the same thing???……………….

    Reply to Gayle

    1. Hi, healthy but not wealthy single male 69 in Webster TX, 77598 Looking for a healthy, positive, civil woman, who enjoys the outdoors, good food, thoughtful conversation, dancing and yes intimacy, I am a loving romantic man, verbal and physical.

      Reply to Roberto Maillard

      1. Roberto,

        I hear you. I would love to meet you for conversation. You are at my age. but I live St. Louis, MO. and it is too far to make that happen.

        So, I just drop you a note to let you know that we are all connected each other whether we are totally alone or not.

        Eat good food and have a glass of wine with it. That is as good as…..

      2. Hello
        I’m Tammy from waxahachie Texas
        I’m looking for someone like you
        I’m 55 with a heart and soul of a 30 year old
        I’m a very real person who believes in treating everyone just as I want to be treated
        I enjoy the outdoors living life to the best of all I got
        If you are looking fir someone like I’m am that is respectful honest loyal and really believes in the golden rule of treat others as you want to be treated them I think we could get along great

      4. Hi, my name is Mariana,I’m a retired airline employee,single (widow) I’m into weight training and outdoor activities 71 yrs, do you have a picture of yourself

      5. Hi, Deborah, I too am alone, but I really like myself, and not really looking for another in my life, I really have the best times alone.. but I know that it is not healthy to be alone, so I back you all the way.. Hope that you are well and that you have family that cares about you, that is a big thing.. forever and ever.. anyway call me if you want to talk and lets get life going on.. Love Carolyn

    3. Hi from Texas. Hang in there gayle we are all in the same boat. Soon we can go shopping and lunch or maybe a cruise. I went on a cruise to Alaska by myself last year. It was great. Good girlfriends are very good for the soul. Have a nice week and plan that next adventure soon!

      Reply to Susie

      1. Hello Carlo
        I too am here in California born and raised. The fires, the pandemic all of it has my nervous system a wreck. I’m just so lonely and alone.
        I hope we can at least write each other. Have a wonderful evening.
        Dana

    5. Gale, I too am a senior citizen living in an assisted living home. I do not need assisted living, as such, since I can take good care of myself. It is very lonely here in Salisbury N.C. but I can make it. I wish you were closer and after this Covi d-19 is over, we could visit one another. After this virus thing is over, I plan to rent an apartment and then I will be able to get out and meet other seniors. Gale, hang in there and I am sure that you will find that guy. New York is no place for you, it seems. Try some other place or come to North Carolina. We southerners know how to treat our beautiful women. Arnold

      Reply to Arnold Grqaham

      2. Hi Arnold, It’s funny how God works and I don’t know if you will even see this reply as I didn’t check my replies after I had posted my comment so it has been over a year ago. Are you still reading your posts? I am the “lady” from NYC…I really want to relocate from here, but am on a fixed income and the rents are so high everywhere!….Perhaps, you can communicate with me again?………..I “never” would give out my e-mail address, but my curiosity got the better of me…..I am a “very normal” female with integrity so don’t worry about that!

    6. I am a 57 year old female and I’ve been single for 16 years. I’ve dated here and there but it’s been difficult finding my forever love. I currently live in Arizona and I sometimes live in the Bay Area, and no matter where I live there seems to be a lack of decent mature men. Men my age want to date 30 year olds. I’m so over it. At this stage in my life it’s more important to establish meaningful relationships with people my age, even if it’s not sexual.

      Reply to Diane

      1. Hi Diane,
        I’m 71. (Not dead yet!) my wife died two years ago from cancer and I’m having such a hard time living without her. I miss her laughs, her smiles, her hugs, her kisses and her never-ending support. She was only 57 and was such a dynamic person. We have 3 boys (19, 20, & 24) who also miss their mother terribly. I feel like I’m losing out if I’ll don’t find someone to share my life and live with. She wanted that.

      2. Hello , I lost my wife of 62 years in 2018. I’m taking care of myself fine, but over the years of being alone and not going out, it would be nice to chat with someone. I exercise daily, finances are in order, but lack communications with ladies in my age group. E mails would do the trick for me and hopefully for another adult.

    7. Hello my name is Bill,I’m 61 and I have been married for 40 years now. My wife passed away in 2018. Well I’m like you some what, here where I live at in ( Louisville Kentucky ) it’s very hard to find an older person your age group. So I thought I could at the least try to contact you, we could exchange pictures talk some and see where things go from there. No harm done trying. But it could be very bad just living out the rest of our lives alone when there are others like us not wanting to be alone. It might seem silly but the worst time is her time. My wife always slept my shoulder. She slept very well as I did. Sence her passing I have not had 1 night of full sleep. I read what you had wrote. It sounded like we should at least talk.

      Reply to Bill Florence

      1. Hi Bill, I’m 69 and lost my husband in Feb, 2018. I loved him dearly and am finding living alone is so hard. I have some great friends but miss the comfort and intimacy of a caring partner. I live in Washington state, have no living children, appreciate good conversation, good food and the great outdoors. If you want, maybe we could talk.

    8. Gayle I can’t imagine what NY is like. Florida gal here and feel your pain.
      However, I came across all these comments upon looking for a book.
      Thought I’d chime in a just say, ” Hello!”
      Still a little unsure of what I’ve stumbled upon here, lol.

      Reply to Mellibelle

    9. You sound just like me gayle, pandemic = no volunteering. There are plenty of other things to keep me busy, but they’re usually solo pursuits. There must be heaps of people like us! What a shame l live on the other side of the world

      Reply to Phil

    10. It isn’t just in NYC , it’s a problem worldwide. People are just not as sociable anymore. Men don’t want to commit because they don’t like to share their finances and expect women to pay for them…not all, but most nowadays. The pandemic has made it impossible to go out and meet anyone. Life is the same anywhere, not just where you live. I hope that makes you feel a bit better. It’s the truth.

      Reply to Sharonb

  25. I am turning 55 next month, I have been single (dated but not married for 26 years) My parents and sibling all passed by the time I was 21. I made my career my life. Now here I am. Alone. As an only child growing up I learned to enjoy being alone.I used to do everything alone with no issues but I’ve now realized choosing to do things alone when you have an option to do it with others is very different than where I am now, having no option but to do everything alone. I’ve worked from home the past 8+ years, moved to multiple states, and now here I am, alone. I feel so disconnected from the world.

    Reply to Kim

    1. I get you I’m your age 55 and chose to live in the arctic as an adventure from the ages of 37 to 47..I came back a different person and 8 years later I’m single and have little hope of finding love and companionship..its very lonely. I am considered attractive apparently not I’m lesbian and dont really have a circle of lesbian friends it’s hard to acquire as you age. Also my priorities now are dealing with my ailing parents so my life is put on hold and I keep aging and getting lonely not fun

      Reply to Sue

      1. I find myself alone at 62 from a divorce I was only married a year and a half I waited till I was sixty to get married and she turned around and and left me alone I feel like a piece of garbage

      2. Hi, healthy but not wealthy single male 69 in Webster TX, 77598 Looking for a healthy, positive, civil woman, who enjoys the outdoors, good food, thoughtful conversation, dancing and yes intimacy, I am a loving romantic man, verbal and physical.

      3. Hiya Sue:
        Just started to look at this doggone site and found your note interesting. Hetro guy, 60 just writing to say hello. 35-30 years ago lived in Denver with a lesbian and two other guys, housemates as it were. Then in my first house had a lesbian couple next door with two fierce looking pit bulls who were angels, the dogs and the ladies. Heck just writing as I read that maybe you’re a bit lonely as am I. My old man passed away in ’16 after quite a time, it is something else. If this note is awkward my apologies just saying you know, What’s up? & hoping you have had a fine day. It was always interesting the relationship I had with Cindy and the neighbors. We were never running a social gig just people we were without all of that silly sexual tension stuff. Heck maybe that is what caused me to respond. Anyway going on for a bit too long. Have a pleasant evening.

    2. hold your spirit up Kim Kim,
      if you have sugar in the kitchen go in there and make you a Sugar Man, and you remember laughter is good for the soul.
      now get up and break a leg kid.
      Earth is a big planet and there are men all over the cookie jar ( Beijing baby).
      put your fingers Boogie Shoes on and start typing. from me to you a whopping slobbery kiss… Almeria. Texas

      Reply to almetia Spriggs

      1. Wish I could have your sense of humour. I am so alone, no one to talk to. My phone doesn’t ring. Before the virus I would hop on a train, just to get out, but now, with this virus….

    4. I’m a 71 year old vibrant and active female now divorced 6 years. I met a 57 year old man who has fallen in Love with me but is married. He’s a wonderful person but financially it’s going to be difficult for him to get a divorce. It’s bern 3 years and he JUST made an appointment for a FREE consultation with an attorney. He waffles. There is a 19 year old still at home by his current wife whom he claims he doesn’t sleep with. I believe him because she is diabetic, drinks and passes out every night and us 100 lbs. Overweight. However, she’s 46 and still manages to work as a nurse. He also is a very dependable worker in the independent living business. I’m tired if waiting…
      He adores me it’s quite obvious but I can’t afford to waste what years I have left….please advise. The chemistry between us is strong but that ‘Loving Feelings’ is being stretched. I don’t need him financially either.

      Reply to Star

      1. Hi Star,
        Sounds like he’s getting something from his continued union with his wife. If he truly loves you, wants a future with you, tell him it’s time to “*hit or get off the pot”. I’m 65, finally extracted myself from a long, lonely, controlling, marriage with a control freak. Also a compulsive liar, sex addict, who controlled me by withholding monies, making me go bankrupt early in the marriage after leaving my profession (his suggest) for the kids sake. Require refresher course to return and he refused the money. After years of saving, I gave him the same option I suggested to you. He refused counseling or help so he split, with a push and ultimatum!. We don’t have the time to waste anymore like we did when we were younger. As my first doctor told me after my first break up, ‘there are more lids to fit the pots than you know”. Lead with your smarts, not your heart. If he makes the move then wonderful, but divorce can take a long time especially with $$, property and if contested. You’re looking at 2 more years at least and that’s if it’s a fast, well handled divorce. If he just makes excuses, strings you along with the “soon” word, give him the boot. He’s had it too good with the both of you at your expense for too long. I have a girlfriend in a similar “holding pattern” situation. You’ll find someone new and he might be a better “lid for your pot”. Good luck and stay tough!

      2. Just because she is diabetic does not mean she cant enjoy sex, I’ve been diabetic for about 15 years and my sex life with my husband is awesome. Better by the day. I think this guy is only looking for excuses to use you. If I were you I would open my eyes. No child holds a marriage, there must be something in his wife that he does not want to let go. And it could be called love. open your eyes

      3. Star,

        I am sure u r beautiful. But be realistic. At ur age u think u look sexier to him than women his own age or younger? Really?
        I am not trying to be cruel.

        He is cheating on his wife. (Thank u on behalf of women everywhere for holding true to the sisterhood here btw).

        Not a trustworthy guy. Once a cheater always a cheater anyway. Look up stats on this. He will and probably is” hooking up” with other female out there besides u and her, or, is at the very least banging u and his wife both.

        I have just witnessed a similar situation. One of the guys friends told me the older woman was the escape plan if he got caught cheating and his wife put him out.
        AND the cheating fellow has high hopes to, even though the older woman doesn’t have a lot, she will “take care of him when she dies”.

        Don t think this sounds good for the woman. If anything happens to her, the affair was secret. Right? Just some nice woman his moms age left him a car and her money.

        i think he would absolutely kill her to get it too. Like what meds are u on Star? What if u “accidentally took too much”. Hows ur balance? Have u fallen down stairs before?

        Run. Run. Run!

      1. Hi Janice i live in S Fl and I just lost my BFF and love of my life, an almost 12 year old Golden that I had since he was 8 weeks old. My husband who is 68 today has suffered from dementia the past 15 years so I am totally alone now and just want to die now that I lost my beloved dog.

    6. I can’t believe people on here are still trying to find romance at 65 and over. Surely by then you have had enough of looking, trying, being let down etc. All you will be is someone’s carer. Who truly wants to be intimate with another person when your body or theirs are not what they once were. I have just broken up with my husband of 20 years, and as heartbreaking as it is, I couldn’t face the thought of starting all that getting to know you again. Who could be bothered. After building up a history with a partner to go through it all again. I’m an attractive 60 year old and although I get plenty of offers, I just could not hear the thought of having to kiss some old guy with a beer belly and bad habits. One was enough. Ladies. We do not need them. All men want in their later years are someone to cook and clean for them.

      Reply to Jane Andrews

      1. Hi Jane..I’m sorry you have had such bad experiences with men. I’m 69 and my husband died almost 2 yrs ago. I miss him and I miss his companionship. He was a great guy. I’m not looking for marriage either, but it would so wonderful to have a caring partner to enjoy life with. Maybe it’s possible for you to find someone, too. I can’t believe that all that is out there are men with bad habits and beer bellies..lol.

      2. Amen to that Jane. I’ll be 64 next month and I’ve been single for 23 years. I was married twice, have two grown sons from my marriages. I also have a 19 year-old adopted son. I’ve had a few relationships through the years and have been engaged once. He turned out to be a user and a liar and left a very bad taste in my mouth for relationships. I have worked from home the last year due to the pandemic And I enjoy that except I do feel Like I Lack connections with other people. I absolutely do not want a relationship and I have not had Any interest in finding a sexual partner. I’m with you it’s more trouble than it’s worth and going through that getting to know you and all that crap holds no appeal for me. Thankfully my oldest son and 3 grandsons live close by so they’re my world. I’m just happy to read there other people out there like me who don’t need a relationship.

      4. I have been reading this site and wanted to say,I,m a 57 year old guy that’s still in good shape,It break’s my ❤️ to read some of these,I was married 12years,Then cought her cheating got a divorce and took full custody of my son untill he turned 18,I live alone, don’t drink or smoke,I wanted to say,Not all guy’s are pot belly,Lazy men,I have been the one who ended up bringing home the bacon,cooking and cleaning,There are good men out here,I,m alone not desperate.I do hope everyone finds what there looking for,belly or not.Thank you all for your time.Bert

      5. Really I don’t want that and you shouldn’t even think that way one mans problem for you shouldn’t destroy or mess up any other man who is not beer belly and just want you to cook and take care of them. Life is too damn short for that and sorry for the language. We at our age still need love. So take care

      1. Good day Lyme,,Writing from Maine. USA, I understand your loneliness,especially with this COVID thing . I’ve been to England and Scotland several times, love the nature of the people, not as brass as us Americans can be .I’m married but very lonely, unfortunate my husband has some cognitive issues.This also prevents me from traveling.. plus COVID . Oh well just found this site and would love some new friends. Take care

      2. Hi Lynne
        I don’t think we can leave e mails here or numbers for people to contact each other. If only! Would be great to make friends and just support each other. If anyone knows how we can do this, please leave. Reply

      3. Hi,
        I live alone in Derbyshire in the UK.
        I would love to make new friends either across the pond or in the UK.
        I am 64 years of age and recently retired, I find it lonely at times and it would be nice to have someone to talk too.
        I have no family around and this pandemic is making life miserable.

      4. My ancestors are from England and I was fortunate enough to visit. I would live to be a pen pal and feel as a very long divorcee we have a lot in common.

    9. Hi Kim.
      Always liked that name. It was Kim (who can remember her last name) from Broad Ripple High School. Anyway your message was interesting for reason(s) I cannot explain right off. Just how it was written I guess. You ever tried to mess around with Facebook or the like? I have not it just seems , I dunno, intrusive somehow. Maybe that’s not the right attitude in the 21st century. Super!, they do have a spellcheck on this doggone thing. Feel free to respond at your leisure. Just a friendly note Kim, hope you are doing well. BTW 60 years of age :o).
      Roy

      Reply to Roy

    10. Good evening Kim! Your aloneness due to no living relatives is my story, too. Born and raised in CA. Worked in Silicon Valley marrying my dear husband. We took in each of our mothers until passing, then when my husband had his stroke, he moved us cross country for work. He passed leaving me here in Alabama where I have felt a stranger in a strange land. Looking to sell and move to a 55+ Community in Fl. Miss common interest and interaction . Hate the thought of selling, packing up a lifetime and downsizing, all alone. Anyone also in this thought?

      Reply to Barbara S.

      1. I am 62 and have lived for ten years in south Florida. It is not easier to meet a good man in Florida than it was in NYC! Lots of people move to Florida thinking the sun will change everything – it doesn’t. And the men want women who are 20 years younger!

    11. At 60 I find myself in a similar spot, yet I feel reluctant to seek out another emotional relationship after my 30 year marriage ended. I am embracing my celibate life, but I do miss interacting with the opposite sex, the conversations, the way females are able to talk without putting up fronts or acting up with bravado. I have one close male friend who is 10 years older than me, but in great physical shape as a retired Navy Seal, so he is my activities buddy and mentor…a connection that has kept me sane at times of turmoil.

      My female friends are all married, so that gets in the way, particularly if their husbands perceive you as a threat to their marriage…because we connect in conversations…

      So…those of us who are not interested in physical/emotional relationships find it difficult, if not impossible, to find opposite sex partner/partners to get out and live active lives without the element of dating in mind. That’s what makes myself stay away from Eve. I live in a remote location within what’s known as the Radio Quiet Zone, so that makes me basically untouchable in the mind of many females….unless you are a wildlife biologist or a wildlife artist like me. If you are near this part of the World, enjoy the outdoors, aren’t afraid of the forest and the critters within…head this way and I’ll be happy to show you around…you can camp out, sleep in your car/truck, hotel, or a cot in my timber frame art studio.

      Everyone , included myself, gets down and depressed at times…some movie scene, a song will bring tears to our eyes…those moments are teaching moments…embrace them and put them in perspective. We are lonely…sometimes…many times because we are naturally loners who enjoy the company of others under our own terms. Relationships are always prone to conflict because one or the other play a willing subservient part to make it all work…that sort of game worked in our younger years. We are all grown ups and we aren’t so willfully going to give away our freedom for anything or anyone who happens to come along our pathway. Don’t expect to change anyone to your own ideal of a human…not at this point in time.

      Reply to Jayishere

  26. This is an old thread, but I’m lonely even though I have friends, I’m single + now a widow with 4 years. Two teenagers living at home, I feel as though I have no one. I’m happy on my own but being lonely is hard. I don’t want to be bothering people with my problems.

    My mum died 6 years ago, my partner 4 years ago then I lost my job, diagnosed now with ptsd!
    It’s been a rough time, my son is 18 later this year he has special needs, he is visually impaired due to an inoperable optic nerve glioma. My daughter 15, they’re both my world. It would be nice just to meet someone who’s not just interested in sex!!

    Reply to Karen

    1. Am a aged lady and lonely like you. Have a son 19yrs.i live alone in house for 15yrs and currently l losed my job due to Covid-19. Most of my time l spend in house.
      Am looking for someone to share life online. Am very much caring person who loves and trust honesty people.
      Welcome to my world if possible.
      Thanks
      Margaret

      Reply to Margaret

      1. I understand where you are. If you would like to correspond with a 62 year old gentleman in the Kansas City Missouri area, I would love to hear back from you.
        d

      2. Hello Margaret. The Lord stopped on on this link. I’m 84 and a widower this year after 59 yrs of marriage. I’m a brn-again Christain and very active in our church. I’m retired military, still active and looking for a relationship. I live in Hawaii and have my own home. Is there a call for us?

      3. Hi Tom, Sorry, but Senior Planet can’t vet or police the comment boards and who responds to them. It is our policy to remove identifying information in our comments, since Senior Planet is not qualified as a dating/meetup service.

      4. I am married. But so alone. Wish I could just talk with someone. just to chat. My son was here for a few days, he says I’m in a bad mood, that I never smile. He’s even leaving earlier than planned. But there’s a widow that likes my company, she says I’m an intelligent person. Feeling so alone and lonely, looking at myself in the mirror, smiling at myself, to encourage myself….does someone out there understand me ?

      5. Hello Margaret my name Sybil Mcnamara and i live in England my partners name is John and he is from Wales i love the Country side and Gardening and i love Reading if you would like a freind to Email tell me about yourself all the best Sybil

    4. Hi Kim… I feel for you even though my story is a bit different. I’m now a very young 72 .. have been told by different people that I don’t even look 55. But lately I have felt the age in my joints and in my moral stamina. Married for 38 yrs with two very nice sons. Hard to believe that when husband became very ill he opted to go solo .. shocked and heartbroken I did ok for first 6 mo. somehow thinking he would gain his senses. It’s been 10 yrs and one son is 3000 mi away.. the other only a few blocks but much too busy for getting together once a mo if I’m lucky. I live in suburbia and have never been so lonely.

      Reply to Louise

      1. My husband did the same when he became ill. Suddenly wanted to be single. Months later he looks a wreck and knows he’s made a big mistake, but he did me a favour as now I won’t have to be his carer. It was terrible at first after years together. But now I realise how many better off without him I am. It is lonely, but I’d rather that than put up with all his nonsense

      2. I share your pain, Louise. I am your age and never felt so alone in my life. Have no siblings and moved around too much, never putting roots down, it’s downright scary. Spent my life in management. Would love to hear from you.

      2. Bill don’t get bitter, get better! I was in a 27 year marriage with 5 children. We were multi-millionaires. He was a cheater, an abuser, tried to murder me, and involved with some very unsavory souls. He paid off the judge and 13 attorneys! I finally gave up and moved out of state to save my skin.
        Time will heal your wounds. If you let it. But I would advise to go to a cognitive behavioral therapist. I just started, and I am 67. Trust me. I repeated the pattern, got married two more times. When I saw the pattern, and of course the end result of my choices, I realized I badly need help.
        So go get help NOW for your future! It will be bright! Don’t give up on you! You were meant to be happy! Praying for you!

      3. Bill I feel you and I am a women with a dead beat husband that I despise and I dont want to leave my home because the court may make me give him money that i worked hard for to keep this house and pay the Bill’s. The maryland laws suck but I am not going to give up.

    6. Hi I sitting alone in Iowa. I am married. It is just exactly like being alone. It is a very strange thing. I thought I married the right man. For twenty five years bliss. I don’t know if he feel on his head during our move seven years ago. This man does not talk to me. He walks right by me like I am invisible. ( I am almost six feet tall) . He goes directly to his man cave. My dog sits on his lap. I guess that’s all the affection he requires. Last December I had not been feel to swell I asked him for a hug . He told me to go hug the dog. Well that was quite degrading. I have to stay because I need health insurance. I should just go sit in the ditch behind my house!

      Reply to Patricia

      1. Patricia, get another dog who sits in Your lap. Or a cat who prefers You. Ignore your roommate ( he’s no longer a husband). Do your own thing Without him. You need his medical insurance coverage which is sad, but it is what it is.
        Do you work? Are you on Medicare? If you are, apparently your Roommate’s policy covers the Supplemental portion.
        Try and go to Any Senior Meetup you have available in your area, if one’s available. Or try snd get a job which isn’t easy for Seniors, but Not impossible.
        Consider yourself Divorced. If you own your home, & it’s paid for, and got an actual divorce, you’d have half of your home’s value
        ( or equity) to start over.
        The way you’re being treated by your “legal hubby” constitutes Abuse.
        He’s either going senile or he’s just a real b*stard.
        If you decide to stay, just IGNORE him. He’s nothing but a Roommate.
        Go to the Senior Center to meet other seniors in your area. And watch your Heart. You’re feeling Rejected and Unloved, and that makes you Vulnerable to Predators, both male and female. You’ll probably outlive your ahole husband, as women tend to do, so live your life as though he’s already gone.
        Take walks with your dog, or New dog, and let your Roommate cook his Own meals and do his Own laundry.
        Take a class in pottery or painting,
        or Whatever you may enjoy, like cooking & see a Counselor for the emotional Damage that’s been done to you by the cold-hearted creature your Ex-husband has turned into. And don’t forget to Pray to God to give you the Strength you need to Survive.

      2. Hello Patricia in Iowa from Bootstrap Dove in Kansas City! Please don’t go sit in a ditch! Your head comment made me laugh! I am sure you have asked him what happened or what went wrong and why he is acting in such a bizarre fashion. So. Do you have a good girlfriend? Go have some fun, make some new friends, go online and join a bunch of groups, and every day go for a walk! Lose weight, change cloths, go buy a hot new car, live for you! It is your life! You can stay married, stay moral, but go have fun! You deserve it! Go back to school! I am 67 and have gone back to school. You meet all kinds of great folks in the zoom classes. Enjoy yourself immensely and don’t focus on what he is doing to be sad and lonely. Stay away from that thought! I have to keep reminding myself that there are a lot of people around me that are better in every way. How I wish I could have the same blessings they have! It hurts! I have the desire, but not the income to make things happen. That is why I am starting back to school. Keep your mind active and bright! Read great classics! Take up a musical instrument! Go enjoy yourself! That is what I am doing and the walks especially, and a therapist, help greatly with my ptsd! USE the health insurance for your self- help? When you get Medicare you will be good to go! Prayer works! I will pray for your happiness! God wants you to be happy! Seek!

    7. Hello Russ~ Life is short. Arizona is beautiful! I lived there many years, many years ago! Flag is gorgeous, I love the fall colors! I am glad I was able to see so many beautiful sights! That Arizona magazine has tremendous photography! I am 67 and live in Missouri. Each state has their great gifts of beauty. I hiked the Grand Canyon in my 20’s. Driving from Phoenix up to Flag one time, I pulled to the side of the road for a rest. I hiked over the embankment. Much to my surprise, I was met with the beautiful sight of an endless field of red wildflowers, that I had never seen before. You are lucky to be there!

      Reply to Bootstrap Dove

    8. Hello Russ
      I’m up here in the central valley of California. Born and raised in Blythe California. So I know the desert.
      I hope you are well and safe. I live alone and yes I’m very lonely. Maybe we can write now and then?
      Have a wonderful night
      Dana

      Reply to Dana

  28. Hi
    I’m all alone. I’m this way most always anyway though. Since I have to work and it takes up my time and energy. I never thought I’d be here at this age all alone. It’s boring and frightening at times. I feel so discouraged sometimes. It’s not good feeling abandoned by your family. Oh they talk on the phone to me. They know I’m here.
    How are you. I’m usually more optimistic. Just not today.
    Annie

    Reply to Annie

    1. Hi Annie I’m Addie..I’m alone a lot too..I’m going through divorce n it’s really hard ..but I’m prayn n keepn my head up n tryn to stay safe n healthy..I’m not young anymore so it’s hard for me but I’m ok if I had a friend just to talk to ..I just get bored n lonely I guess.

      Reply to Addie

      1. Hi Addie my name is Patty,I’m feeling the same way,I’m married,but he travel 48 states,I live with my parents because they are a older person’s,and most of my family lives here,I’m not joung,I’m 60,in CA,I just need friends who I can talk to

      2. Hello Addie , I may self have just went through a divorce after a 30 yr married ended, i do sympathize with you because I’m going through the the same as you, feel free to contact me and chat anytime, judy

    2. Patricia my name is LaLee im 59 years old never married have no children. I thought I was in a relationship for the last five years and we were planning to buy a house together and a couple of months ago I came home to an empty house. He not only took his stuff he took alot of my stuff. After I had time to get over the shock I started realizing my life wasn’t much different after he left because when he was here he ignored me or was always walking out the door to meet up with friends and I was never invited. I have no idea where he went I guess they call it Ghosted. Anyway I remember back in my 30’s I had a friend who was married kids the whole enchilada and oh how I wanted her life until one day she came to my little apartment and broke down telling me there was nothing more lonely than being with someone who pays no attention to you. I didn’t really understand until it happened to me. It is worse being with someone who is disrespectful and wants nothing to do with you unless they want something. Your in a situation where your life isnt yours to do what you want because you have this obligation for the lack of a better word. So you’re try telling yourself or he tries telling you when this happens things will get better. Well when things got better for him he disappeared. I’ve never been so frightened in my whole life he left me with nothing right when I was starting to save money for that house he took that too when he left. I’m still numb because I really thought we were going to grow old together. Don’t go in that ditch. I need a traveling partner if I don’t get to have my house I figure I’ll travel but don’t want to travel alone. If you’re in a position to do so let’s correspond feel each other out and see if we would be compatable heck I live in Kansas we could meet and see if we feel like it’s something we would want to do. This probably would get your husb and’s attention they say the heart grows fonder when you have sometime apart. I’m a very active outdoorsy kind of person. I love camping bike riding tennis horseback riding. I enjoy the simple things in life nature has alot to offer start in the US then look further past the horizon into foreign countries. I don’t know anything is possible if we’re up for it. Keep your chin up but don’t waste another day letting that man keep you from living your life to the end. I will keep you in my prayers. I’ve been praying alot and I’ve been called an Atheist. lol Take care and let me know if this is something you would even be a little interested in. If not we can still correspond by email and at least you someone does care even though I don’t know you I know what it feels like when you have no hope no one to talk too. It’s frightening. Again no ditch tonight enjoy the stars there is hope there too.

      Reply to LaLee

      1. I see a lot of comments on here about chatting and communicating with each other, can anyone tell me how that works I thought personal e mails were not allowed on this site. ?

    3. Hello Annie~
      I lived alone and went to live with a daughter, her husband, and children. They decided they did not want me there! Then I got married, he turned abusive, and I left in December! Now I am with another daughter, her husband and children. Lol. Well dear, I am trying to get out of here and off on my own because I am here but not really feeling like I should be here? I am starving for some friends or a companion, but I am separated and cannot be divorced by that state law, until one year of separation. So in January I am planning to file for divorce and end that chapter. I will have less social security, but I will work to make up the difference, hopefully.
      You are lucky to have a job. I am trying to start a new profession as a postpartum doula and am working toward my certificate. If that doesn’t work out I guess there is always Walmart or some other job.
      I would love to have a companion. Wouldn’t we all? It is just now right that a woman should be without her man, but that is what typically happens, one way or another.
      Even though I live in the same house, I still feel much like you, abandoned. Left out of things, even though they try to make me feel better. I guess it is just difficult at this age after kids are on their own. I guess that is the way we raise them. To leave home and spread their wings, be successful.
      Well take care my friend, and know that all us seniors are “left out”. Shucks.
      Well

      Reply to Bootstrap Dove

  29. Hi, Jean. I’m Jim 73 and totally alone now. I just had an agrument with my partner of 7 years. He has found someone else. I can’t even get out of the house as I’m on oxygen. I feel so unlovable right now.

    Reply to Jim Waddell

    1. Dear Jim
      Thanks for responding ( first time anyone has; I’ve posted on here every so often for a year. ) I’m so sorry you are feeling abandoned also.
      Being on oxygen you have need of someone who can bring in food and help get you to necessary appointments. My dad was on oxygen for 13 years and as I lived with my parents until they crossed (at 96 for my mom and 90 for my dad) I know the in’s and out’s of dealing with oxygen.
      I hope you are not on those old heavy metal tanks or a big concentrator where you move thru the house while tethered to it
      with a thick plastic tube. They have relatively light-weight portable systems now that you can fill with liquid oxygen off a large tank left at your home and each fill gives you from 2 to 4 hours of time to leave the house and have a bit of freedom – my dad would go fishing with his little pack over his shoulder ! I’m lucky in that I am pretty healthy. Both hips replaced 7 years ago and they’ve been like new so far so I’m rather active – just haven’t been able to make any real friend since I lost my parents and ceased being a caregiver which I’d been for about 15 years. No relatives either. I go to church. Do volunteer work. Do things at the Senior Center (they have free movies on Tue)
      but, of course, all that is prohibited right now due to the virus so have got cabin fever which is something you must also be dealing with. Because you have breathing problems you are in the highest risk group so I do hope there is someone who is bringing whatever you need to you.

      Reply to Jean

      1. This is an important avenue to share feelings.. happy I found it… wish there were a way we could group call once a month at least… now That would do a heck of a lot of good for all!!

      2. Hi Linda, I am alone also and want to date again. I have been a widower for about 5 years and I want to date a Christian woman tonight or some time this weekend. You sound like what I am looking for. I would love to meet you soon, the sooner the better. I am a Christian man and being alone just does not do it for me. I would love to meet you.

      3. I like this site I’m new to it my name is Vincent Giordano I’m 62 I have a stroke but I’m getting better and better everyday I walk go to PT just starting to drive but I’m a bit lonely

      2. Hi Jane,
        I am here on Cape Cod beginning to feel like this pandemic is starting to look like it is coming to a close.. We can begin having friends in and socializing. It has been a challenging year for everybody but older people have really felt the isolation. I have been a widow for 10 years . Would love to communicate with anyone who likes to travel. Right now I am going to go on some day trips and am planning a European trip
        I am 78, exercise on my stationary bike and go for beach walks. ..not every day, …I volunteer once a week for a Kitchen that serves the homeless and needy families. It is very interesting. Cape Cod is beautiful this time of year,: the beach, the flowers and the earth waking up. I am very interested in all parts of the US and the world. Tell me where you live, what it is like and your work life before now.
        Anything you find interesting. Del

      1. I am 68 and lost my wife when I was 56. For several years, I felt that my life was mostly over and meaningless as I slogged through that horrible time.

        But, time really does heal. It took me nearly five years, but I started enjoying life again, and mostly, started enjoying life alone. I ran across zero women who attracted me at all, much less anywhere near what I felt for my soul partner and wife before she died.

        Realizing this around the time I was coming alive again, I let go of the “need” for a partner and started realizing, with only myself, life was way cheaper, way easier and I could do as I please.

        If I feel like laying around an entire day, getting high on THC and never getting dressed, I not only do it, I revel in it. Having something to do in a day or not does not mean you have to be bored or lonely.

        I now make it a point, which I never did before, to mingle with people in, say, community rooms – or a fave bar if you have one – watching football, or some sport, and conversing with folks. Then, once you’re alone again, you do feel the glow of having communicated with fellow humans.

        Try and find the things you life and stick to ’em. Try to get rid of everything else, including a surfeit of possessions you’ve stashed for years. Downsize your home if necessary. I live in a small one bedroom apartment now, but being by myself, it’s plenty of room, yet, economical to live in.

        Life is not over. Religious or not, you have to consider that this may be it for life. Enjoy what you have before it’s all gone.

      2. no excuse to be Lonely not your fault .my brother who leaned on lil sis for dates,place to live,money all of it cant bother talk in 20 years. Dont assist relatives I did it all &0 liked me for it ,thet think they deserved more even you mom making a burden with all her money never loaned a cent but my place was to be her vacation. Love being away from all parasites. least your deeds go for your own desires ,not anothers.one day Kevin get to vegas i’ll show you natures beauty with my beautiful golden shepard..Beth. L. V , !

      3. I am with Mr. Novak 100 %.
        I am 69 and have been widowed 4 years on next week. My first and last wife died in sleep by surprise. No foregone symptom or warning at all. Anyone can imagine the devastation. After three attempts to be with someone, I found peace and tranquility by being alone. I enjoy my life with full extent and very meaningful. I changed my living environment by moving from big city to small town surrounded with wonderful nature. I bought a Jeep and have been busy to adventure the wild nature. I don’t drink, smoke, and no drug or marijuana for all my life as well as no belief in any god. But I am fulfilled with joy and happiness and will stay as it is until the final moment comes. Time heals the pain eventually and we are the driver of our life. It is all up to each individuals whether you move on or fall.

      4. Hi Kevin, I loved your comments. I live in Dublin Ireland and have been widowed for 20 yes. Once my kids were educated and out in the world I did the dating thing but like you I found no one anyway as interesting or attractive than my husband. He too was my soulmate and I now am content to be on my own. I travelled. A good bit on my own to Italy but now sold up the family home and bought a nice apartment for myself. I too revel in a day at home doing nothing except lolling about. I really thought there was something wrong with me when I came to the conclusion I didn’t need a lover or partner. Here’s to you having and enjoying a good life. Regards Maureen

      6. I totally understand I am a widow of 9 years and I had a wonderful husband. But it seems men my age want women that are at least 30 to 40 years younger than them I think they’re Brad Pitt. Are there any normal people out there that want a healthy nice looking lady that is respectable and fun-loving

      8. Alone in phoenix.Me too. After 20 years of ok and no one catching my eye who did I meet? 45 year old hustler. Yep Told him I had no money. Could not support him.My only income SS and SSI total $796.00 a month. Moved in!. Got him stimuls check. Day it came he bought a car packed up and not one word since. E-mail closed. So dont add fool like I have too. Some days I am more than alone and I know you know what I mean. I have no advice but some I know your a good person with a good heart, but that wont take away that feeling.Im 66.Hard to see a future.Cry all the time.Dont sleep much. Now is when you think to yourself “BOY IM GLAD IM NOT THAT GUY! I wish I wasnt too. Chris

      9. Hello Kevin, I’m alone now after going through a divorce, feel free to reach out and chat if you do desire too. Judy from Florida

      10. I’m 54 and divorced I just lost my job after a 28 year career that I put my life into and Covid is driving me crazy to the point where I just decided to have a one night stand with a guy that raced horses. I didn’t want it to be a one night stand – but the guy blocked me the next day. I feel like if I don’t get out of this house soon I will go crazy. I message my last boyfriend every night for almost a year and he reads my messages but never responds. He is eight years younger but lives with his parents. I just keep messaging him that we should just get in a car and leave – like old Springsteen songs. I’m thinking of getting a bunch of time share points and just traveling America from town to town. What is wrong with me? Why am I so restless – I feel like I will die if I stay inside this house much longer watching the news and movies and the news again. Calculating when my money will run out. Thinking about day trading to survive. I have a 14 year old. I just wish I could reach over and a warm strong arm would put his arm around me and say – it will be ok.

    2. Hey there Linda! My name is Carol and am in the same situation if not worse . I traveled alot and got into some bad relationships and lost contact with everyone . I lost my last family member 3 yrs ago and right after my only child Misty Rae was killed she was 8 months pregnant with a baby boy
      Gone through all alone I do not even have anyone to call and live in the worst place in the US to be alone in Norfolk, VA if you don’t have family or know anyone your pretty much screwed
      I don’t understand it

      Reply to Carol Slaughter

      3. yes time to get busy my pet dog ,cat really look out for me they visit by your side he gets me to take him round park folks say hello! its very helpful improving house , putting items in place u find lost $,jewlry great fun.. oh there is my favorite sweater ,my velvet pants, my gold bracelet ,on ,on. put on soft make up Elf is great beautiful blushes soft lip corals, bit shadow cute hat or even trendy wig fun . No excuse to feel lonely, quiet is worth alot No Stress! hope it helps Lost a younger sis to smoking didnt know she overindid but got her treasure Island. we could share notes I keep a fella friend far away we text! Men have Tempers. Bad ones Good Luck

      4. Hi Carol, my name is Sue and I certainly can relate to the situation you are in. Only I think Superior, WI is truly the worst place on earth. I put all my time and energy into my relationships and my daughter. She is now 34 and I have struggled since she was 18 to help her get off drugs. She is clean now and is living in Seattle WA. So, I too find myself alone with no family and no real friends. Plus, I am living in pretty bad poverty and having to move out of my duplex by April 30. Anyway, I guess I could go on and on. I really didn’t mean to make this about me, so sorry. I just wanted you to know I really, truly understand the situation you find yourself in now. Wish we lived closer, maybe we could have been friends and a comfort to each other.
        Please take care of yourself and at least we both know there is another that really understands our situation.

      5. Youre Awesome! Thank you for your message!! These readings really help to know that “alone”, knowing how to company yourself is actually the greatest gift one can have besides a dog. Lol

      6. Hi Carol I pray n cry for u..feeln so alone but people like me r here if u ever wanna text n talk..I’m Addie..I’m n Vegas far away but I’m here to talk n help u feel like u r not alone!

      7. Hi Carol….Betty here….Its been 2yrs..since I date …I keep busy…work two jobs ….go to the park for long walks & I go shopping…trying to find a good man ….where are they….. be strong ….

    6. Linda, greetings from Chris who has lived all alone for the past 18 years on the other side of the planet. It is quite a story! Now I am experiencing reverse culture shock trying to come back to my native land and feel like Rip Van Winkle. My solution is for everyone here to have a party because life is good and we all need to enjoy the ride. Since that is obviously not possible, well not in the physical sense at least, I will make my phone number available (it is a US number so you can call or text me for free) to any normal human who responds to this post and wants it. It would be great to have some lines of communication over here so I have the illusion of having some life lines. The more positive feedback I receive, the better it might be for all of us. Who knows, we might find from this trial balloon that we have a happening.

      Reply to Chris

      1. Hi Chris, alone in Michigan here. You had indicated you would give your phone number for texting, but I don’t see it. I would like to make some new friends around the nation and reaching out to you would be a good start. Marlene.

    7. Hi Linda I am 58 and had a stroke last year. I am a widow and still work full time as a paralegal. I have 3 children, one of whom doesn’t talk to me much, the other two are wonderful but don’t live close. I have two dogs who I cherish and really help me with loneliness. I know what it is like to be a woman living alone as we age. I don’t have any desire to date so haven’t been on the dating sites.

      Reply to Suzy

    8. Hi Linda and Kathy I agree with you 100% that online dating is for the birds the very first man that ever contacted me online asked me for money the second one wanted to know if I owned my own home or if I was renting I said you know what this is nuts I’m not doing this I’d rather be alone and have some dignity them have these scammers if you feel like you might want to chat I would love it

      Reply to cathy

      1. You are so right about online dating sites, even the so-called Christian singles sites. At 69 all I received was messages from men no older than 55 who all had broken English, i.e., “You are ever perfect and I want know you much.” And they will have a white-bread name like Rob Jones or something from Tuscon, AZ (when in-truth I’ll bet it’s more like Mohammad Harabi from Nigiers .) I read that they do this on purpose because they then know if you go for it you must be so very lonely and needy that you’ll be an easy mark for $. Dear Lord please don’t let me never get to such a low point that I lose all dignity . This corona virus scare is getting to me though. They’ll be no one to give a damn if I get sick but my sweet dog. I come to read the entries on this site periodically to see that many others are in the same boat – just wish we all lived in the same town ! Anybody in or near Bend, OR ?

      2. Jean and Cathy – Dont go on the safe sites like Match.com or Christian Mingle. All those scammers are targeting the older nice ladies there. I got the same. Go on Bumble. Haven’t met one scammer on there. All the guys are real and you can see exactly where they are in their location. But get ready for lots of “interesting” photos of male anatomy. I would say maybe 5 percent are legit guys looking for something real if you can weed through the a holes. And it’s truly amazing how many 30-35 year olds will match with you. Way more than the older guys. I don’t meet up with them – but it makes you feel pretty for a minute when they say age is just a number and they all say that.

      1. Heeellllooooo Robbie Hahahahaha that was so funny thanks for the laugh, I’m 68 living in ohio. Single, active, (except for this virus thingy, still i try to walk everyday tho). Children are grown and have their own families, so im kinda out here ( in the boonies) by myself. I still work (cleaning homes) no im not dumb two degrees, but tired of working for businesses that pay nothing to our generation. I charge what i want, work when i want, and for whom i want. Is that correct usage of who/whom ? Since this shelter in place i’ve spring cleaned my house painted, and emptied water off tarp on pool. Gettn ready for summer. I’m tryin to keep busy but running out of things to do, so i found this forum and here i am. Lol anyhow thanks for the thot of “a hit”. LMBO. Take care

    11. So many people who you never hear from. I am an attractive man, 64 but completely turned off by online “dating”…mostly a waste of time for me…never get responses from people I’m interested in and get all kinds of messages from overweight truly ugly people. That’s been my experience over several years on and off. Spent time in Europe where it’s better and more honest and open. But not in this country! Really tough, almost impossible I find.

      Reply to Geoff

      1. Geoff, You can’t go for looks that fade away. You can get a skinny girl who will still add weight and grow ugly one day so I think you are too picky. Your age mates definitely are going to have some weight on and are not going to look 18!

      3. Vera, I spent 12 years in Frankfurt, Berlin and Athens with State Dept and some military earlier (Athens). I speak German. Not really into ballet and such to be honest…more of an adventure traveler like bicycle touring while I still have a few good years left. Just took a hit to my finances during this epidemic. But can still share expenses easily. Have traveled extensively to all countries in Europe and am familiar with Portugal to some extent. Beautiful country. Maybe we should get in touch.

    14. Yes Linda. They are all scams. I am 69 living alone and my only child is 560 miles away. Tried the dating sites and what’s available is disheartening. I don’t know what the answer is but to get out and try to mix. This Covid19 is really driving me psychotic by living with stay at home and nobody with me. I wish you well and Stay Safe!

      Reply to Bob Broad

    15. I have been in a marriage and lonely for the past few years. We sleep in separate wings and have minimal conversation. It’s like lIving in married hell. I would just love to have someone I can talk to without arguing.

      Reply to Kevin

  32. P.S. This is “Gayle”, again. I would just like to add that if I had to be placed in a “category”, it would be in the Suzanne Somers, Cher category…..I am not your “typical senior”….I work out, etc. and still want to live my life to the fullest…..Normally, I would never write something like this on the Internet, but why not?….The world is getting smaller every day and there are a lot of “good people” out there to communicate with………..so, this is just a side bar to my other comment…..

    Reply to Gayle

    1. Gayle, you’re trying to find perfection in an imperfect world – stop complaining and just go out and have a good time. Maybe volunteering in an organization that helps others would expand your horizons – it can be very rewarding to focus on others for a change.

      Reply to Tina

      1. I’m 69 years old and feel that I have made a huge mistake by marrying a girl who was 12 years younger than me in1978. I had to leave the girl who I loved and still do Love because I couldn’t get a job to provide for her in Cape Breton. We were Inguaged to be married but I had to go to Alberta to get a job and she Met someone else and I lost contact with her. I have thought about her every day and I do still love her! I just want to know if she is still alive and happy with her life she chose.

      2. As with. anyone the that has problems I want to empathize with yo for I’ve came to know it could be me under similar circumstances for we are not islands unto ourselvesd .I have no answers. I live in very. loves me l area wife. of 30 yrs abandoned marriage. don’t know.why treatd wife as I wants treated. abused as child sexually and emotionally they’re before she left was miserable. I wish I could have the trust I need. so I don’t have to b lonely Hoping and Praying I may find a woman me that loves

      3. I’m. Looking for a good honest straight woman who wants me for who I am not what I have. I’m looming for a woman to share my life with. I’m 59 yrs old and I am retired. I live in South Texas and I love fishing. Movies. Walk in a park. BBQ. And some traveling. I’m no where near perfect but I have a good heart and I know how to treat a woman. I love to cook and enjoy a good honest woman that I can love and adore. If ur that woman . then I’LL be waiting for ur reply. Thank u…

      4. what a smart woman i’m a guy i’m 61 and readint eh blogs,yours was direct hit the nail on the head at our age who cares? get out and do some thing and help some one help is is worse off!

        Jonathan

      5. I agree Tina I am a 100%disabled US Army veteran and I do volunteer at the senior center in Santa Monica California I started a dominoes activities with other clients at the senior center one hour a day sometimes two hours three times a week ….I’ve been domino’ coordinator on a three day a week routine leader with also at veterans Hospital West los Angeles in different events example bingo games barbecuesAnd socializing with other veterans and veterans in service organizations as well !!! A quite busy man I am at 70 years old lots of lady friends lots of good guy friends; quite content with my single life those out there look for the positive in yourself!!! and socializing with other veterans and veterans in service organizations as well quite busy though man I am at 70 years old lots of lady friends lots of good guy friends quite content with my single life those out there look for the positives in yourself and for yourself.

      1. This reply is for Alan living in texas but there was no reply to under his message. I have spent the last 20 years being the perfect wife, great cook, always looked good for him, travelled the world with him, had a great life together, I’m honest loyal faithful and trustworthy, and he always told me how lucky he was to have me, then he got I’ll and just like that left to live alone. No one knows how another person thinks or feels, so that is it for me. Never again. I know wives who have been terrible to their husbands but are adored by them. Lonliness is the worst and that’s why we are all on this site, but as for dating again, is it worth the anguish it often causes. I dont think so

    3. Gayle, i am similar to you. Husband tells me over and over that i look 30 from the back. Im an unlimited life extensionist so i have the best hope in the universe. Still have 2 family members left and a clan 150 miles away that i keep in touch with. Im 66 and a cosmetic procedure patient and very open about it. Its the only way to keep youthful looking past s certain age..

      Reply to Sherry

      1. Why is everyone so obsessed with looks? Believe me hon , most all of us old folks don’t look to bad from the back! Aperently your cosmetic surgery hasn’t done too much for your front! Plastic people just aren’t that pretty.

  33. I never did this before, but here goes! I live in Brooklyn, New York and am a very “youthful” 70’s year old woman and although I live in the liveliest City in the USA, it can be very lonely!….Some of my friends passed away at a young age and it is very difficult to make friends in this City. I am looking to meet new friends especially where I live. I live in a part of Brooklyn that has nothing going for it in the way of socializing with others unless you go to a “Senior Center”, which is “too old” for me and I just don’t fit in there and do not like “labels” of any kind! It seems many of the people there have health issues and it depresses me. So, I thought I would reach out to the Internet and see who is out there…….I used to have a very fulfilled social life, but for the past ten years or so it’s been pretty awful…I, myself, had a couple of “health issues” that were traumatic, but overall now I am just fine, except for not having some type of social life…..I was a major art student and have taken some classes in NYC, but if anyone knows about the “subway system” in NYC, it is pretty horrible navigating it especially in the Summer. I do not do well in the “heat” of the Summer and tend to stay home when it is too hot to go out and that makes me very anxious….So, who is out there? You don’t have to necessarily live in Brooklyn although it would be easier to meet up as I had a friend in the City……..I would also like to know if anyone from my City knows of some places to go to that are welcoming! I am open to anything I can get to………….Waiting to hear from you……

    Reply to Gayle

      1. To be perfectly honest, I went there a couple of times and did not like your “OPEN CONCEPT” and found it very strange that there are no separate rooms and you are disturbed by people talking on top of one another. I think whomever planned this place did a horrible job!!!…i was also surprised that everything is on ONE FLOOR! I know that space is prime in New York and very expensive, but whomever did the planning for this place did a horrible job!…I did not feel comfortable there as I found the “NOISE” very “DISTRACTING”…..Otherwise, it would have been great!!!!..

        Any other suggestions? Any New Yorkers out there?

      2. Also, Don’t they have any Creative Art Classes? I am not that into “technology” that much….That would be wonderful if they could incorporate that!…..

      3. Well here goes, I am 66 find myself divorced and alone. I moved back to my home town (small) hoping to reconnect with my old friends. I had been gone for about 20 years and I called several of Them. They were very friendly and said(we should get together for lunch sometime,) but not one call. I don’t blame themI, I was gone a long time. I am in good physical condition, so am able to do most things. How do I start over at my age?

      5. Hi Gayle

        Haven’t read all your posts, but enough I think from here in the UK, and my own circumstances. Stop trying to make things right where they are not. You say you have loads of internal energy, so MOVE perhaps to the East Coast – but to a rural or maritime community.

        Of course you will have to consider links to family and friends – but an airport within an hour and a half’s drive, or a train station closer would resolve that.

        You could do it in stages – maybe rent a place somewhere that takes your fancy for a month – to explore, meet people, and assess. Then repeat until happy.

        A great adventure for you, and it sounds as if you have a lot to give :) Very best wishes Janet

    2. I am a young at heart 76 yr old male seeking a conservative lady of class who has no addictions. Reside in Stockton, Ca., not interested in marriage, not where I should be financially, but a gentleman that is honest, extremely loyal, considerate and enjoys companship. Haven’t dated in years, this doesn’t mean I desire scammers, I don’t, nor do I prefer far left democrats. Contact me for conversation and see where it leads. Joseph A.

      Reply to Joseph Arsanis

      1. Believe me, i get it. I’m 65, divorced, my three kids all live away. My friends and relatives are all married. I work from home and ifeel so lonely and isolated. Just having someone to talk to would be a blessing.

      2. I am a 77 year old conservative woman, widowed at 59, adjusted to life accordingly ~ have traveled quite a bit, pretty much donated all my stuff after living a good life alone, decided to live with my daughter for awhile but now looking to spend some time with perhaps another senior friend to explore
        a bit more. I do much genealogy research, and enjoy reading as well as historical movies. Have had pets in the past, but none now…do like watching/
        feeding birds during this prolonged lockdown. Was in Scotland this past February, and in the Lake District in the UK. Must be a friend out there somewhere?

      3. Joseph,
        Would like to,communicate.
        Not interested in getting married.,have been widowed for 10 years.
        What does,far left mean? Just asking .

    3. Hi Gayle,

      I live in Southern Brooklyn, a lovely area called Mill Basin. Recently retired I enjoy a lot of the classes at Kingsborough and Brooklyn Lifelong Learning. I also belong to Harbor Fitness and love their classes and their trainers. These places are very happy settings. I have made a few new friends. I am single but I feel connected and not lonely.

      Esther

      Reply to Esther Kamhi

      1. Hello neighbor! I just moved to Palatka from St Augustine, because St Aug become a massive hot mess, but anyway I was just scrolling down and reading everyone’ comments and noticed that you live in Daytona. Lolly

      2. I’ve yet to.meet a man who has a heart! After giving mine totally for 20 years it was trashed and broken overnight. I’m not bitter, but from life experience I have not seen many genuine men. I can’t believe what some women put up with just to have…someone…anyone will do. No thanks to that. Good luck in your search and I’m sure there are some good men out there, I only wish id known how easy it is for them to change their mindset practically in minutes.

    5. Hi Gayle,
      I like painting most forms of art. I was very good at art in school but was much better at engineering, so I became a project engineer and inventor, for a career, making great new ideas and patents like Optimyst (a multimillion euro business for Glen Dimplex). I am now thinking of new ideas and following my instinct.

      Reply to Noel

    6. I am from Ann Arbor MI and used to live in Essex County NJ near Newark. I am 69 and not adverse to driving out there . Can’t fly these days. Going crazy being alone in my house. I loved the City. Really miss it. Interested in friendship via messages?

      Reply to Bob Broad

    7. Hi Gayle, You sound like a interesting person that I would like to chat with….I am a divorced male in my early seventies living in Las Vegas …My name is Joe and would love to hear from you if you would like to chat.

      Reply to Joe

      1. Wow! Isn’t life amazing? I just got onto this article again after finding it by googling some other information. I had written my comment on here two years ago and I don’t even know if the people that wrote to me are still on here, but my curious nature prompted me to reach out! Hi Joe, to start with……………If you care to write to me and are still interested, we can surely be “friends”…………..Gayle

  34. I’ve often said that life is like a roller coaster ride–it begins with excitement and uncertainty, it’s full of peaks, valleys, twists and turns, and before you know it, it’s over.

    And sometimes a legacy is born.

    Without question, a lot has happened in the past 4 years since Laura passed away. As you might expect, my lifestyle changed drastically. I became a single dad. Career changes took place. Most importantly, my daughters are now a thriving 15-year-olds

    As time goes by, certain memories fade. It’s not intentional, it’s just the reality of life and time. Life carries on and brings about new memories, pushing older memories out.

    The truth is, I miss her every day. I often look to the heavens seeking her guidance, which helps me find a balance. I believe she’s transcended into an angel, protecting our daughters and I each day. The past year, I’ve seen several instances that can only be explained by that logic.

    Our time on Earth is precious. You never know when your time will be up.

    You can live life in defeat and sorrow, turning a season of mourning into a lifetime. Or you can live to the fullest, take advantage of every opportunity, and turn setbacks into positive gains.

    Reply to Robert Paul

    1. Hi I am Anne. I raised 2 wonderful married adult women. I do see them often and live them very much. I took care of my Dad until he died from cancer. Then I took care of my Mom for a very big part of my life. She lived with us fir about 20 years. Now she is 96. Within the last few years I had to place ger in a nursing home much to my dismay.

      Niw I live with my horrible cruel husband of 40 years. My life is hell. He is hell on earth. He is 70. Clinicalky deaf and refuses to kepp his hearing aids. He threw 2 pair out. He has mental illness and maybe Parkinson.
      I am attempting one mire pair of hearing aids which he says he will wear this time from walmart. I will see. I am actually in the absolute hardest and worst life I have ever had. He is driving me crazy. Going to have to take him to court if his meds do not increase and he wears hearing aids. He is low I Q too. I cannot have anither year like this. I am 67. Too old fir cruelty on all levels. Thank you for reading and listening. I do appreciate you!

      Reply to Anne

      1. Hi Anne. I’m so sorry you are living in such difficult times. Your situation sounds similar to mine. I am also 67. I’ve been married to my husband for 20 years. He is now 72. He was always a big talker but never a doer. We’ve moved to a few different homes over the years. I always had hopes and plans for fixing up the houses, travel, making friends. He always dismissed my plans, we have never been on a vacation in the 20 years we’ve been married, he finds ways of getting rid of any friends we might find along the way. Now he has health problems, as do I. He had a stroke and carotid surgery 6 years ago. He has turned very sarcastic with me. He takes medications which I know are making him mean along with his aging. He also has always been a hoarder to some degree which drives me crazy. I want to go out and make friends and entertain. I want to travel. I only have one living relative. One son who lives about 2 hours away. I only see my son and daughter-in-law a couple times a year. They are very busy with their lives. My husband has no children. All our parents have died years ago. Our current home is about an hour and a half from the city. We live in a small town with nothing to do. We moved here 5 years ago. I wanted to live in the city, but my husband wanted to live in the small town. He promised that we could go to the city when ever I wanted and go out to eat and travel. No surprise, none of this happened. I stay awake every night wondering how I can get away from this town and move to the city. How can I afford to live on my own when I can no longer work? I get very little on social security. He gets enough on social security for us to live on. I feel trapped, alone. If I leave how do I afford to support myself. I don’t know what to do

      2. Myheart feels for you. I can feel the anguish in your letter. I am 80 year old widow. Although I live with my sister it is a lonely life. I feel like I want to go all the time and not sit idle. If You like you can email me to talk.

    2. I read your comment and just want to say I love your attitude about life. You are so right when you say ‘you can live life in defeat and sorrow, turning a season of mourning into a lifetime.’ As wrong as it is to do this, it is easier. To ‘take advantage of opportunities and to turn setbacks into positive gains’ takes a lot of courage. Courage I don’t think I have anymore , or, if it is still inside me somewhere it is lost. Your words make me want to try, so, thank you.

      Reply to Kathy

    3. Forgive me Patricia, but I just had to put in my (unsolicited and no doubt unappreciated) 2 cents here to remark that the times have gone ahead and left you far.. .far. ..behind.

      I will try not to seem overly offensive to you, but your every sentence drips with ignorance.
      And your knowledge of biology and physiology is abysmal.

      It never fails to amaze me how some women are so entrenched in living in a patriarchal society that they
      are willing to embrace the belief that women are “less than,” and feel threatened by and are belittling of other women who view all people as equal and consider themselves as women to be as worthy as men.

      It is regrettable that there are people who are hostile to your daughter for her choice of staying home to raise children. That IS a job, just not one for which she receives pay from an employer. But she might do well to look ahead to her future as well as give added protection to her kids by working part-time for pay, or pursuing schooling or training for some occupation. Many women who have devoted their lives in the service of their family have been left high and dry after divorce or widowhood, or suffer in hellish marriages because they did not think about their personal finances and are stuck in bad situations without enough money to leave.

      I am sure your daughter is not “less than.” I hope she gives thought to preparing for possible future eventualities while she is still young. Christine

      P.S. The word you were searching for is “complement”
      not “compliment.”

      Reply to C. Borcsik

  35. I know how it feels. Since my wife died 11 years ago, until late last year, I had a house helper. Then it came to a point that she became more a headache than a help. So I drove her out. Since then, I have been living alone.

    Yes, there are times when I feel lonely. I drive it away by self-talk. I tell myself to get used to my new reality or perish.

    Shortly after my wife died, my daughter encouraged me to get married again. I flatly said, “No.” 37 years of marriage cannot easily be replaced. Besides, I have my wife’s ashes at home so I won’t be tempted to bring in another woman. LOL!

    Loneliness is not about being alone. It is a choice which I often utilized owing to the fact that I am an online writer.

    Reply to Joseph Dabon

    1. Hi Joseph I get it you feel lonely some days you wish you had somebody to take a walk with wish you had somebody to talk to you wish you had somebody to cook a meal with hoping that the end is not gonna be this lonely wondering how many more years do we have I’m 67 been divorced for a year my ex has moved on already found himself a girlfriend he seems to be very happy in his new life I’m not better I wish him all the best but I seem to be stuck in this lonelyPllace

      Reply to Cathy

  36. I understand what you are all feeling and my heart goes out to you. I have no children, spouse or friends and, last year I lost my beloved cat of 14yrs. I struggle with anxiety and depression along with osteoarthritis. I need a double knee replacement but the surgeon won’t do it because he said I am too sad. This makes me even more isolated.
    I don’t have a car and live in senior housing where they bully so much that I stay to myself.
    Thankfully, I just found a wonderful therapist that is helping me. At least I have one kind person to talk to. He is encouraging me to work on my crafts, join a yoga class and maybe, someday, adopt another cat.
    Hugs to all of you. If you need an email friend, I’m here. <3

    Reply to Lori

    1. Lori..hi,my name is Linda.I’m now 66 and live with my 2pups. I’ve lived here in Va ,well,I’m native to this area,joined the military,retired and came back,telling myself I would never return to Va. Yet,I did. Funny thing,all my family have passed,it’s just my pups and me. Being older I have found the the good,bad and ugly. I’m old enough to know better,people do prey on seniors and most people believe that because we have age we’re simply crazy. When I divorced,my church was not kind…I couldn’t understand how they embraced excon yet a divorcee was an embarrassment to the church. My neighbors don’t offer any help or kindness yet they mind my business more than I do. As a veteran,I was always accustomed to being around people and I enjoy helping others . One of my late friends grieved himself to an early grave,his mom died. As we get older,in today’s society,respect and compassion seem to no longer fit the vernacular of younger people, millennials,but I do sense a climate of entitlement. Never have I seen a time when children,and adult children both threaten and literally kill parents&grandparents. The whole world has become a melting pot of insanity. Having lived alone even when married,I realized if someone doesn’t share your convictions on life,then learning to let go is healthier for you. You can’t force love. Bullies by the way are bullies because they focus on a person’s weakness. Instead of living life as though it is already over,ask God for strength,be thankful and start a daily journal of all the good that you do have. What we focus on becomes our reality.If we always believe we will never be happy we can.literally miss opportunities of goodness for focusing on the negativity. I almost died in Oct of 2018; I asked God for strength and wisdom that HE would guide me. Learning to forgive those who are unkind frees you from the prison of bitterness and allows you to have a different opinion about life. Each day you awaken this side of the dirt,is a good day and today if you have no idea how to begin..ask God to give you wisdom God has a plan for you otherwise you would not be here anymore. Don’t think you have to conquer the world,just change your attitude to one of thanksgiving for today.

      Reply to Linda Harrelson

    2. Hi Lori ,

      I am sort of in the same sinking boat , although I did not have a cat !! 2 days ago and 4 years my dad died. The week before it was 14 years my mom passed. I was a caregiver / companion .
      Now I am 66 , alone running out of money and fearing for the worst because the US does not care , plain and simple.

      If you care to reach out to a lonely soul , I shall gladly reply.

      I am caucasian / alone / depress and scared , but I also have a side to me that is loving and respectful of others.
      Perhaps I am not my now best friend , but that does not mean I can not treat others wit h the respect and kindness they deserve.

      I am a christian , the Lord died for all our sins and I shall see my loved ones when my time has come.

      I suffer from autoimmune disease and associated aliments , I am currently battling not only the system that refuses to help , but arthritis and other complications.

      If you would care to have a friend , please reply

      Gary

      Reply to Gary Ingerson

      1. Hi Everyone
        I live on the Coast in North Carolina. I came here to retire and enjoy the beach. A month after I arrived, I got sicker than a dog and it turned out to be MS and Lupus. Now I can’t walk a straight line or be in the sun.
        I have three kids. They are healthy, independent, and drug and alcohol-free, thank God. They all live more than 1000 miles from me. None of them offered to come and help me when I was recovering. Four years ago I went to Colorado to visit my middle son. He absolutely ignored me almost the entire time I was there. I have four sisters that don’t speak to me. We were raised to ignore and dislike one another. My mother was a piece of work.
        I have one brother. He is no neurotic and depressed his name is in the Webster’s Dictionary as the definitions. He lives with me. It took me years to get used to him being here. He is also the biggest slob in NC. He can’t help it. He was so abused. Again, my mother was a piece of work.
        I have been alone to try to recover from MS and Lupus. I think I’ve done a good job. Since I wasn’t allowed to socialize when I lived at home, I have learned to live in solitude. Sometimes crowds get on my nerve so bad I have to go to Walmart in the middle of the night. I wish I had someone to really care about me. I never have. Should I be careful what I wish for? It’s backfired on me before. Thanks for listening.

      2. If you or anyone else that you know or are aware of is being bullied in an elderly facility, contact the Ombudsman Program, they will put an end to the situation at hand, they will put an end to Elder Abuse!

      3. God does work in mysterious ways I truly belive in him because things or epasodes or gifts that could only happen inf he wanted it that way only happened because he is truly out there if you pray hard enough he will answer it might not be what u want but something is going to happen it does for me im not kidding !!!

      6. I like your outlook and also believe in it. I lived solo and did not have any problems with it as I stayed active and did not expect any relationship to progress towards anything but a friendship basis. I love people and love activities that include them.

      7. I am Australian ,aged 70.years old. I I share my house with a couple not just to help pay the mortgage but for companionship.He is 40years old and she is 29 years old.
        Twice a week I attend the University of the Third Age (U 3a)where I study anthropology and classical history.
        My local U3a has over 1500 members all over 55 , and offers over 100 different courses.
        All the tutors are volunteers
        Since I joined two years ago I have mde many new friends and acquaintances .
        Isolation is a huge problem here in Autralia too.
        Organisations like U3a certainly address this issue.

      8. Gary
        I have multiple sclerosis and lupus. I’m thinking you have the same thing. I would like to hear from you. I am 65, alone, and I live on the coast of NC. Sounds nice but yesterday the heat index was 110. I can’t even get the mail before my skin begins to blister. I hope to hear from you.

      10. Hi my name is Charlotte I live alone in Brooklyn, NY. We can begin to chat sometime I would like that. This is my first time reaching out to chat online. Looking forward to chatting with you.
        All the best,
        Charlotte

      11. Hi Lori my name is Rose and I am exactly like you. So know that you are not alone. I was married for 20 years and 14 yrs ago he passed away. I was lonely so I called my one friend and we started going places. It was alot of fun. Then after some yrs later she decided to move
        She’s so far away and wanted me to move with her. I don’t want to live in a hot climate. So now here I am in depression and extreme lonliness. I never had kids and my parents died. I have brothers and a sister, but my stepmother doesn’t want me over anymore and has brain washed my siblings. They don’t call and I haven’t seen.them in 28 yrs. I’ve had one knee surgery and now I’m going to therapy again. I have osteoporosis and osteoarthritis in my knees, back and ankles and also depression. I was so glad to read your story and it’s sad what we’re going through. Maybe if you had an old friend of the past you could give her a call. Or if you play bingo, many women go alone. I only wish you the best. I’ll be praying for us.

      12. Hi
        I am a 63 year old newly divorced woman…
        I have lost pretty much everything to my ex husband…
        I am very lonely and new in LA area till I can find a place in Northern California near my kids.
        I have been feeling depressed and sad trying to figure out my next chapter in life…
        If anyone can relate please reach out cause I could use a friend.
        Thank You
        Lory

      13. Hello everyone–I am 68 and live alone in a 55+ community. I love that there are activities and the people are so great. I was trying to think of a way for the singles here to let each other know that we are ok. Just this morning out of the blue, I had a scary dizzy spell and with 2 dogs, I worry that I could pass out or even die and nobody would know. Has anyone else ever thought about this. Maybe find someone to give an extra key to that you can trust, or an email chain. Any thoughts.

      14. Jane,

        I am 62 and live alone with my dog. I wish I lived in a 55+ community. I know that if something happened to me no one would find me for days. I still work (for one more year) so I know if I didn’t show up for work someone would eventually come to my house. On the weekends my phone never rings, I have work acquaintances but no good friends. I fell not long ago, luckily wasn’t hurt but if I had not been able to get up I would have laid on the floor for days. I signed up for Life Alert after that. I have pretty bad arthritis in my back and weakness in my legs from two hip replacements so I do think about if something were to happen. I will probably move to a retirement community after I retire. I know I’ll be the youngest one there but at least there will be people around. I definitely know how you feel.

      15. Here’s the problem. Many seniors get depressed, understandably. Being alone and feeling worthless and lonely. But you have to realize these things are the very things that keep you from pulling yourselves out of these doldrums. It’s a viscous circle. But the only way to remedy these negative feelings is to become as interesting and engaged in life as much as possible. Don’t allow yourself to become boring. No one is attracted to boring, depressed and negative people. You have to become a jewel…one that shines and lights up the world her them. That is attractive and once you become that person who shines people will be attracted to you, like a light in the night beckons moths. Ask yourself this – would you like to hang around people that are constantly down, depressed and negative? Of course not! There is so much in life to be thankful for. You can take advantage of opportunities that will continually progress your mind and stimulate your well being. Resist letting negativity drag you down. Come alive again and stop planning for the end…but instead plan to live. Be a mover and a shaker. Volunteer to help others. Live a good life and thank your god for the beautiful opportunity he has laid before you. Look up, not at your feet. And you know you can do it. There is no great mystery to a fulfilling life. It is nothing more than a change of mind, positive thinking sparked by what is truly real – the glory of life and existence! Get yourself some!

      16. Hi
        I am a 63 year old newly divorced woman…
        I have lost pretty much everything to my ex husband…
        I am very lonely and new in LA area till I can find a place in Northern California near my kids.
        I have been feeling depressed and sad trying to figure out my next chapter in life…
        If anyone can relate please reach out cause I could use a friend.
        Thank You
        Lory

    6. Hi, Lori
      I, too, have no children, husband, or friends (acquaintances only – those who when you run into them, give you the obligatory hug that means nothing, ask how you are and without waiting for a reply, launch into the latest about themselves & their families.) If I begin to tell them anything about myself that goes on for more than 30 seconds, they start to glaze-over, or look over my shoulder for someone else to acknowledge, or make an excuse to leave. It’s all so superficial it’s not worth the effort. Like you, my pet chiweenie (dachshund/chihuahua from the shelter ) is everything to me and I can’t begin to think on him passing away. I live in Bend, Oregon and have had both hips replaced so it gets hard to use my snowblower if needed in the winter and the lawn is slowly dying since it’s such a chore to maintain it and the lawn services are outrageously expensive to hire for it. If you care to email me, let me know (not sure how people post their contact info on here without it becoming public for all to see) ???

      Jean

      Reply to Jean

      1. Jean

        Our lives sound very similar, I tend to be the “therapist” to acquaintances, but if I have something I want to talk about, there is either no response or they change the subject back to them. My dog Bella is my saving grace! I have also had both of my hips replaced. Before my first hip was replaced (once I found the right doctor) I went four years in constant pain, leaving me with muscle degeneration in my legs. So, now, I’m thankful that the pain is gone, and I can walk, but I can’t walk for very long without having to sit for at least a few minutes. I’ve had to hire out for lawn care and snow removal. I can’t get on the ground so I now plant flowers in containers just to get my hands in the dirt! I’m still working but plan on retiring after this next year. I have put a deposit down at a retirement facility, I’ll probably move there sometime after retirement, just to have people around. I don’t have any children and very few family members that don’t live close.

      2. Hi Lori,

        I would love to be your pen pal. I’m 55 and my 90 yr old father lives with me, so between working full time, taking care of a 5 bedroom house and my dad I’ve had to give up having a life of my own. I have two cat’s that I’m thankful for because I work in the yard every day after work and even though they’re inside cats I’ve trained them to stay in my yard while I’m doing yard work. They absolutely love being outside with me.

        I’m so glad that you had the courage to tell your story because it helped me and I’m sure many others to realize that they’re not the only ones out there that are lonely and just need a friend to care about them. Lori, I care about you and I would love to be your friend. :)

        ~Tricia

    7. Hi Lori, I am not a senior (47) but my story is of yours. Never married, no children, no friends and my (1) unconditional friend my cat, Joey was poisoned at the age of 14 by my Narcissistic ex-boyfriend, 3 years ago. I miss him everyday and just until recently have I been able to even look at his picture with out crying. As I have every reason to distrust humans now; I still choose to see that not all people are bad. You seem like a very kind and good person. I felt compelled to reach out to you and tell you that.

      Reply to April

      1. Hi I am 74 years young . Lost my wife to breast cancer long ago . I am living alone but I never feel lonely . I have magic recipes fr bearing loneliness and depression !! The mind can work miracles . I am a happy solo traveller . Been to 60 countries already and now getting ready fr the next one .

      2. That is awesome Clement! I haven’t traveled the world but I am obsessed with these backpackers…trekkers I think you call them. I live vicariously through them I guess you would say. But um…yeah, that sucks so last Thursday I told my kids and my mom that I was leaving to go on a little trip by myself. They were like whaaa? That is because I am always just sitting here, like a rock the way I always have for 23 years. My husband passed away suddenly two and a half years ago and I’m not going to lie…it totally sucks sometimes. I started looking around about two weeks ago and noticed ok, my son is not coming back from the dorm next summer because he got an apartment and my youngest daughter finally got her own place with her 3 kids so she won’t be moving back here either. My oldest two won’t be moving in either so here I am in a 4 bedroom 2 bath mobile home for the last 23 years with my two aging dogs. I asked my family to come and check on the dogs while I left. I didn’t really go far…only from the DFW area to Corpus Christie and while down there an evening trip to Port Aransas. Thing is…it was very spontaneous. When I left I had no clue which highway I was getting on or which state I was heading to…I guess I chose Chisholm Trail. When I drove into Corpus I literally landed the very last room in this really cool motel right on the beach…how did that even happen? It was the cheapest too! I stayed three nights and it was just right…then I headed back. I have had a rough time this month because it included a grief trigger. August 8 would have been my husband’s 54th birthday, so yeah…there was that. I read a man’s comment above that he kept the ashes of his late wife in the home to discourage him from bringing another woman in the home. I have felt that way too because I keep my late husband’s ashes on the bookshelf. It sometimes feels quite invasive but other times not so much. I am 57 years old and the word dating hasn’t even come to mind…do they do that? It is so true that when we lose a spouse that love doesn’t just stop. We stop. The world keeps spinning and we are stuck dead in our tracks or so it seems until things start to get a little better. I have a feeling by the anniversary of year three things will start looking up, or so I hope. I have a shit ton of health issues and take a lot of meds :/ and I have to now take care of all house repairs, water leaks, mowing the lawn, taking care of the dog pads…but I do other things also that help me to feel young. Shoot, I play Minecraft and Terraria. My grandkids think I’m cool because I literally ran a Minecraft Server for young kids for 6 years. It’s still open but I sold it to a younger kid. Another thing I do every single day is read the news or general articles or watch youtube videos. I absolutely have a yearning to learn. I was getting gray on top so I bought hair dye and got me some new hoop earrings..who knows maybe I’ll even put my makeup on again really soon :) When there is breath, there is life my peeps…don’t you forget that…hang in there and Godspeed on your journey to find your inner peace. P.S. I have never really kept friends all throughout my life maybe because I didn’t know how…I wasn’t a good friend, it was always the other person that was the friend, I know I suck. I guess in a way I am kinda a loner and I am supposing that is a good thing right about now in this part of my life. Oh I binge watch shows and heck, I even watch anime with my son…or I used to before he turned 20 and got too old :)) Oh and I love rock and rock…the old stuff, the new stuff and everything in between. I love dubstep and showgazing and dream pop music too……I guess now you understand when I looked at my local rec center for senior activities and it said walk and talk and devotional singing….I took a pass lol…it is kinda disconcerting really because I know I don’t fit in for my age…maybe it’s genetic, my mother is gonna be 77 next month and sometimes she behaves like she’s 25, haha…Anyway, I really wish yall the best…

    8. I’m not sure who I’m writing. I read your message and I really like what you wrote. So much like myself. I would like you to be my friend. If you reply I will tell you more about myself.
      Thank you Cheryl, Hope to here from you.It would be wonderful to have someone to write that understands my lonelyness. Bye for now.

      Reply to Cheryl Goodrich

      1. Hello Robert I found you on this website you sound like a wonderful person my name is Kathy would love to have a penpal somebody to chat with I’ve been divorced for a year my husband moved on with another woman I don’t feel bitter as long as he’s happy that’s good enough for me some days I feel very lonely wish I had someone to talk to I do have children but they seem to be very busy and I don’t like to put a lot of pressure on their busy lives if you would like to have a penpal I would enjoy chatting with you

    11. I’m sad to think what your going through . I honestly can not come too terms their are people with no one . Yes no fam , no kids , but not a sole to call a friend . I don’t know where you are but I’d be their for you . But saying that you may cast me aside , as I’m a transsexual old lady , but I’ve a heart & feelings . Yes I’m lonely but not a monster .

      Reply to Paula Hayes

    12. Hi Lori,

      I am a 64 year young lady who lives alone. I have been divorced for 20 years and enjoyed being alone. Then my parents got sick and I spent the last 8 yrs taking care of them until they passed. Now, I am missing the company. My two dearest friends passed away a couple years ago. We had all these plans to go places and do things together once we were retired. I retired in 2018, so immediately signed up for classes at the senior center to keep busy. Evening and nights are still tough. I find it hard to do things solo, but my goal is to get over it. I hope you do try yoga. It helps me so much. I went to a seminar about PRP and stem cell injections for the knees. People raving about the results as an alternative to replacement. I hope you get a cat. Animals are a lot of company. I live in a complex that doesn’t allow pets. If you ever want a pen pal or a shoulder… I am here! CJ Portland Oregon

      Reply to Crystal

    13. Im in a relationship…but he had a brain bleed. A couple of years ago.. He is not the same !!! Its like I am by myself !!! And i have a brother and sister-in..and 1 nephew he is married.. To a uncaring person. They all live far from me now. So I am alone…my mom and dad are gone… Miss them terrible !!! It seems my life is SO lonely.

      Reply to Michelle

    14. Hi Lori, I will be an email friend! I hope you get another kitty. I have two dogs. My 15 year old dog died last year and almost killed me, so I got a puppy again right away and it helped alot, even though he is soooo much work!! I am 58, widow, had a stroke last year but still am functional and work full time as a paralegal. That helps me not get depressed. I live alone but don’t really mind it, though sometimes on Sunday I get a little lonely. My animals help. I wish you well. Take care.

      Reply to Suzy

  37. Hope everybody had a nice day My name is Susan I am 67 in NC I adopted 2 cats 4 years ago. My boy died less than a month ago, if not for my girl I do not know what i would do. I have one best friend who is now in Florida. I am from New York City originally. I just want a friend I was thinking of a room i turned into a computer room back to a bedroom and look for somebody to share it with. Golden Girls 2 where are you lol. I spend a lot of time on facebook. Just found this blog tonight

    Susan

    Reply to Susan Brown

    2. Hello Susan,
      So, so sorry for your loss. Quite a void. Laid my 16y old chihuahua to rest 1/2018 and not completely over the loss. A family member he was and boy, do the years go by f-a-s-t!!!
      Was medical for years, like y-e-a-r-sss and how I enjoy the peace and quiet that retirement brings. Adopted a senior chihuahua, age 10y and have had him since 1/2019. A house is not a home unless a pet resides in it. My philosophy !.
      In short, may sound funny, but I was an only child and now age 69y. Grew up with older parents and their older circle. i am alone but not lonely, the day is so, so short. From early morning, preparing for the day, walking my darling pet, walking club, gardening club, reading-news of the world and so on. I have a small circle of friends, we gather X1 week, they are all seniors with their own situations and so it goes. How I see it……..One can be as alone OR lonely as one wants to be. All how one VIEWS their situation. By taking an active interest around me, I have no time for loneliness…Just my input and I wish you well…
      Whiterock, BC

      Reply to Kristina

      1. I live in Northeast Georgia. I have one female furry friend inside. And when were baby on the outside. It gets lonely I am 66 years old. And although I have a daughter and two grandchildren and a son-in-law that lives not very far away that you’re always busy. I would also like to chat.I think of so many things I would like to talk about two people but just have to hold it in.

      2. Oh my. I have been alone since 1987. zip for family and I am older than you are . Last thing I want is a man around!
        Best friends died a year apart.

    3. Hi Susan! Sorry for your loss; it sounds like a good idea for revamping a spare room., but Id stick with local thru a church perhaps. Just be careful. I moved to Florida from Long Island NY years ago, just quit f/t job, have typical aches & pains., If you want to rsvp me, Im in same pattern as you but 69. Eileen

      Reply to Eileen

      1. Hi Susan! Sorry for your loss; it sounds like a good idea for revamping a spare room., but Id stick with local thru a church perhaps. Just be careful. I moved to Florida from Long Island NY years

    4. Hi Susan,
      I’m live near Charlotte. I am alone as well. I honestly don’t mind living alone. I just need to find some friends. I’m from Massachusetts. I have lived here for 3 years and I haven’t found any meaningful friendships. I can easily talk to people at the park and they sit and talk to me but nothing ever comes of it. I never run into them again. There are women my age where I live but they never seem to want to do anything but talk about others. I’m just not into that. I would love to meet a few friends I can get together with and becomes close friends to do things with. I’ve joined a few groups but they mostly go out at night and I don’t drive at night where I don’t know where I’m going. My eyes are just not what they use to be. I love to go out to eat lunch, go to the movies, go to festivals or just about anything. Everything is fun when you have someone to share things with. Please let me know where you are in NC. Perhaps we can meet and get to know each other. Good luck meeting others

      Kristina

      Reply to Kristina

      1. Hi Susan…Where in MA are you. I’m in CT east of Hartford. Good movies coming up. Maybe we could meet halfway. I’m a retired social worker…78 1/2…single for 40 years .

        Joyce

      2. Dear Kristina,
        You sound SOOOO much like me! I am friendly and often chat with others but I seldom see them again. In senior housing they do nothing but complain about others in the building and, when I don’t take sides, I become the target of harassment. I feel like I am in grade school, lol. I hope to find friends outside my housing. I still want to see and try new things. I am a “daytime” person and prefer to be home after dark.
        It is definitely more fun with a friend. I went to see the Thunderbirds alone but to not have someone to share the excitement with, it wasn’t the same.
        I hope you find a friend, Kristina, and all others in search of friendships as well.

        Hugs from VT

      3. Hello I just found this group. I am 73, my husband died in December and although I have sons and grandchildren they hardly ever come to see me. I live in a studio apt. next to my sister who is younger than me and has her own life. I am OK during the day but at night I feel so lonely, miss my husband and my 2 very good friends are sick with cancer. I have other friends but they are younger, still working and married. I find myself feeling sick because I feel old and isolated and lack the motivation to go out by myself and do anything.
        I live in Miami Florida and I have not found a group near me to meet sometimes or go to lunch with, people are too busy or they have their family life and their own friends.
        Anyway, I wish you all a good night and if you want to write to me I will like that.
        I was told by a friend to join a dating app for seniors,but I do not feel ready to go on dates, I just want some company someone to share going to the beach or having dinner together, so hard to find people that share the same interests.

      5. Hello I just found this group. I am 73, my husband died in December and although I have sons and grandchildren they hardly ever come to see me. I live in a studio apt. next to my sister who is younger than me and has her own life. I am OK during the day but at

      6. I Live in nmb with family my daughter son in law 3 grand children. Who are grown up. I use a walker and can’t drive. At moment I have old car I dealing with health problems My family works Or go to college. I have no friends living in nmb area. I’m very lonley for friend ship.

    5. Hi Susan,
      I, too, live in North Carolina. I’m wondering if it’s Charlotte or Raleigh area. I am in the Charlotte area. I became an empty nester at the precise time as my long and painful and drawn out divorce ensued.

      And, yes, I’m very lonely. I lived alone for three years and the loneliness became in bearable. I recently moved back to my hometown and my two daughters live close by. It is better that I move back home and I’m not as lonely as I was. Before it was all crushing because I lived in Florida with absolutely no relatives in town. This is a better situation but I’m still very lonely. And not necessarily for a husband though that would be nice too.

      Feel free to contact me. I’d love some new friends.

      Reply to Robyn

      1. Hi I’m in Texas. Have one daughter and an older sister. I work but have literally no friends anymore. Used to in my younger days but I guess took the friendships for granted and lost them. By the time I woke up and tried to reconnect, it was too late. I long for the intimacy of a good friendship. Someone to talk to on a deep level. Someone to laugh spontaneously with. I’ve tried a few “dating” sites with no intention of really dating. Just looking for a real friend. Not a great experience

      2. Hi Peony,

        I saw your post. I too, am alone. I moved to Texas to stay warm. I have a 4 bedroom, 3 bath townhome because I wanted to start a Golden Girls 2 thing. But haven’t been able to find anyone who is looking for that. Everyone either has a family or a house and doesn’t want to move. It is a beautiful luxury community, but people just drive into their garages and don’t come out until they need to go somewhere. I really hate the loneliness sometimes!
        I can still go places but just can’t find anyone wanting to be a Golden Girl. If there is anyone out there interested, please reply. I saw that you are in Texas. If anyone is planning a trip to the Dallas area and needs a place to stay, reply. You will be more than welcome! Also if anyone just wants someone to talk to, maybe we could exchange phone numbers. I’m not real fast on the keyboard and takes so darn long to write a darn post!

    6. Hi Susan : just felt the need to respond as some one who truly relates to lonely. I have family and thank my god every day for the blessings that brings; nonetheless, they have busy lives and I don’t want to be a burden to them or make them feel they have to be concerned. Looking for a group to get together or establish similar likes to do things with (let’s face it everything is more fun with someone or s group!). Tho I’m in Maryland one of me daughters is in nc ( married a NC fella) so I get down there often. Maybe we can put our heads together and start a group of like people to just go to the movies or shopping or whatever? A list of folks you can turn to fir support to hang out or just talk to for some people. Today’s lifestyle of mobile has made past relationships be scattered and threadbare…not as in days past where people stayed more in one place. If you need someone to just chat or if interested in firming s group of some sort since I’m just now throwing this idea out there let me know. If anyone knows of groups such as this fill us in! Still work but that still leaves time to play if not too expensive lol! Cards and games and hikes are FREE! Ginger

      Reply to Ginger

      1. Elaine,
        I am in Texas also, and like everyone else here I am looking to make friends and alleviate some of the loneliness…where about in Texas are you? I am living and working in Arlington right now but looking for work in the North Dallas area so I can move back there because it is an hour away.

      2. Hi Elaine and Tina-Marie,

        I live in the North Dallas area also. It would be great if some of us could connect and play cards, go out to dinner or just explore. I drive and could even pick someone up.
        I’m 63 and already retired with a lot of time on my hands and nobody around that really wants to do anything’. Mostly all the people I have met have families, etc.
        Email or reply if anyone is interested! I am female, as well.

        Thanks for reading and God Bless Everyone!

  38. I am a 70yr old man looking for a pen pal or someone to tex or talk to on the phone. I don’t drive sence a couple of mounted ago I todaled my car do to curcomstances I can’t get into know. I live with my daughter and. son-inlaw I can get around pretty good. My hobbies is working with wood tree ornaments, funeture and small things out of wood. . I like to travel but l don’t drive. I am religesous but not a fanatic. I love my grandchildren and great grandchildren. I hope I hear something it gets lonely around this house during the day by my self.

    Reply to Dwight Ries

      1. Hi I am 67 years of age and although married it is non communicative and deeply lonely, I crave for the friendship of a lady in a similar state, purely for friendship, and social .
        I enjoy cycling and walking and am very active,,

      2. Gordon,
        I am 65 years old and maybe in a similar situation. I am not deeply lonely or craving female friendship, but do have a non communicative and lonely marriage of over 20 years. Yesterday I biked 35 miles and today I am getting ready to run five miles.

        I wonder how you are doing with your search? I am interested in talking to men about working to improve our enjoyment of life. So, maybe we can help each other. I might have some decent feedback about your efforts. And you might suggest where I look to find all the old men who are still making the effort to do new things.

        My wife and I live like college room mates that are sick of each other and can’t get out of their one year lease.

      3. Looking for a pen pal for my 65 year old grandma. She’s disabled, doesn’t drive, and is lonely. Ideally, she would love to speak to someone who is also Christian as religion is very important to her and maybe knows how to use FaceTime so you can chat face to face.

      4. I am 67 years Old from Canada. Get your grandma to reach me via my email
        I need a lady pen pal to lessen the loneliness that aging brings.

      5. Ii am 66 years recovering from the loss of my 45 year old son 2 years ago. My only daughter lives out of state. I used to live with her and her children. I miss that. My life partner of 30 years also lives out of state. He is younger than me and no longer interested in a relationship because, due to serious health issues, I can no longer be physically intimate. I miss the closeness of someone special. I miss my fAmily. I have one friend who is married. We meet for coffee every morning, but after 2 years I don’t feel any closer to her than when we first met. I try to keep busy, I have many hobbies and interests, but I cannot travel far because of my health. I’m not very active and I am very lonely. I love my Chiweeny, but he’s not a male companion in the normal since. I hope I’m needed by someone out there.

      6. Gordon I don’t mind talking. My husband died of cancer. Very fit women slim and look young for my age (as everyone says). I really need to talk

      9. Hello Dianne. Just curious of what you decided to do as I myself am in similar situation, no family wanting to move. Not sure where to . Being alone and lonely are two different things, for sure. Take care

      10. Hello Dianne , And to all who are feeeling lonely as I. I have been on my own mostly all my life , only child, family died young. After Ex abused me I moved to the south, Georgia to be exact, I’m from Massachusetts, so the south is not my cup of tea as they say. Hard to make any friends most everyone married, and in their own world. I keep busy , right now trying to find a place to move to , as it’s so very hard on your own to live on one income, and I’d like to be north of here. There are no friends to be had in this town. I do work part time at home from computer, and work with animals but still I am lonely , no one to talk to although I do talk to God, hoping he will show me the way. Where to go , what my purpose is. It’s hard when you don’t have a soul to talk over things with.I am not feeling sorry for myself as others have it much worse I have 2 arms 2 legs am 62 and I feel lost. I try to find a way to help others everyday even though I may not have much, trying to follow God’s road, to lead me to mine. Anyway, if anyone wants to talk I am here . Take care everyone.

      13. I used to feel the same! Happily divorced for many years and love being single but did not like living alone per say so i opted for a roommate and love it!!!

      14. I am a woman looking for a companion been widowed since 1982. I was left with four children who are grown up. Am very lonely need someone to talk and be with till death do us part. Am a church goer.

    2. Hi my name is Di. I am severe arthritis and do not leave the house much. I carve in wood and make my own things also. Last thing I made was a sculptured dragon……wingspan 3 feet ….everyone says it looks like it came from the HBO show. I am good but super slow due to arthritis in my hands. I sell my work whenever I can. I live in Hawaii and do not travel due to back issues. I live alone, so always fixing broken things. I get lonely also….it is hard not having someone to discuss things with….as most people have no idea what it is like to be alone. My friends are all dead, died young….so I miss the support. Family and friend in the mainland are too busy to even talk. Get to see children and grandchildren but they are also so busy with sports and life….it is rare to see to them. My hobbies are all kinds of art, exotic garden design, pet cats…reading books….plus a few other things. I am 63.

      Reply to Di Morrow

      1. I am75 and really lonely I substitute in schools I tutor in the afternoon I have my grandson and a great great granddaughter close by my children but I’m still lonely and miss the communication of a man in my life I would like to find someone who just wants to talk and share things someone who is this lonely as I am for adult conversation and also to share daily things with I love to share things about my grandchildren and my great grandchildren and my children I’m as active as you can be but I still miss you so much this one on one communication with another adult I’m a normal human being a normal woman who just likes the simple things in life

      2. I’m Barry, This 21st. of June I turn 75. As yourself, I am handicapped to the degree I can walk only short distances, and typing goes slowly for myself as well. I paint. Watercolor,pastel, ink etc. May we speak further?

      3. Di,
        Wow – I am 63, have severe arthritis; live alone with my 2 yr old Zoe. (Female puppy). My favorite thing in the world is to keep my hands in the dirt. I plant and maintain as many plants as I can take care of. I love to watch them bloom, see them grow. I love cactus and succulents as well. Gardening and being in the yard is the best medicine for me. I stay home most of the time because of the arthritis but, I would love to learn to sculpture, paint furniture , make jewelry – so many things that you could enjoy doing at home.
        I have never thought about carving. That is such a great way to display your artful abilities.
        With all of the things that I want to do and learn to do I am in pain quite often from my the arthritis in my knees. There are times when it does get bad, but I just try to take good care of myself and carry on.
        Well. Maybe we can become pen pals. I am very lonely and halved alone for 5 yrs now. I did not expect my Phase Iii life to be like it has been so far, but I really want to improve the quality of it.

        Kathy Turner

      2. Hi Chris,
        My name is Kristina I live near Charlotte, Are you interested in friends who are female? If so perhaps we can get to know each other. I just turned 68,

        Kristina

    4. It does for some. For many. I used to work with the elderly, and now I’m one. Never thought I’d be one who is so discounted for intelligence and wisdom merely because of my age. Now I’m like a ghost, a nice old lady that ceases to exist once out of sight….in businesses, by politicians, or in church. We are not all the same, and I find nothing stimulating or satisfying about being at a senior citizen gathering of people I have nothing in common with except that we are all old. I do not want to sit and talk about aches and pains and the past, cards and board games bore me. My only intellectual stimulation is online research about a lot of topics, and social media where I get into deep discussions on my Christian faith, politics, important world events. Of course, I don’t list my age, because then I’m more likely to be less sought after for discourse. If the president of the United States can be so productive, intelligent, energetic, at 72, why do people assume the rest of us aren’t?

      Reply to Ginger

      1. 5;28 am. Yhats says a lot right there. I stay up late and i have to force myself to start winding down from whatever im into at abot 3 am. Usually cant though. I compose or arrange music and send it to an agency looking for background or film music. It keeps me busy, bur some days im just not into it.
        Ive got things to say too and im not amused at age descrimination ven though I have done it myself
        Getting sick of the lies and false politics and illogical thinking in politics. Seems like pople want to talk about the same irrelevant crap every day. Theres things going on in the world too that we just plain dont hear about anymore.
        Seems like only adversity makes people think outside themselves.
        Do i sound negative? I am and I mean it!
        .

      2. I understand. I am only 69 but find most my age whine about aches and pains and “what am I going to do” topics. It can be quite distressing. Been divorced for over 25 years and live alone and keep active by volunteering with people that are as active as I am.

      3. Good morning Ginger,
        Found this post by accident. Don’t know if you are interested in e-mailing back and forth. Yes, my interests are so all over the planet. They never stay the same and my drive and curiosity never cease.
        Would love to hear from you.
        Respectfully, Regine

    5. I’m 78 and live alone in Portugal. Originally I’m from the UK but moved to Portugal 12 years ago.
      I have two daughters, 5 grandchildren and 3 Great Grandchildren.
      Would you like to chat with me?

      Reply to Eric Dixon

    6. I am shocked at how many people on this site are lonely and sound like reasonable people. Maybe everyone should find some way to contribute to society and stop worrying about being “alone” and lonely. Volunteer at some task you are actually interested in and everything will work out. I was in the library recently and met a man who was shelving the books that had been returned that day. I started the conversation and he told me that he was a widower who had no intention of sitting around at home feeling sorry for himself. I asked what else he did with his spare time. He volunteered at the local school to help those whose language was not English. He helped kids learn and he told me he thought they were hopeful for their American futures. I started the conversation. If I had not I would never have found out what this man was doing. Maybe that’s the answer. Get out of yourself and see who is out there, what he/she is doing with this precious gift of life and try to connect with those who share your interests. If you have no interests, it’s time to discover some.
      I am a 79 year old woman who has been a widow for almost five years. The only time I have ever felt lonely was when I was in second grade and my father died in front of my sister and me of a ruptured brain aneurysm. I. have more interests than I can actively manage. If that is the key to not being lonely, it is also an answer for many. of you who feel so alone. It is so important to get out of yourself. Surely, someone can benefit from what you have experienced and learned in your long life.

      Reply to Mary Kennedy

      1. I applaud you! I will be 77 on Feb 3rd, 2020. It appears as though you have figured out how to conquer the pitfalls of age! WAY TO GO, GIRL!! I send you best wishes and may all your dreams be lovely and positive. With much love and hope for your future, I send all good vibes for your future.

    7. Oi am 75 and not needed. Spent life raising four on my own then dads ca then bro emphysema then mom passed. I have never not needed to do or be somewhere. I am lost. My adult kids ass ume a lot due to the n u m b e r of my age. I live alone, bus everywhere. Am an introvert which no one believes….I am today lost. Need to lose weight, exercise, walk….but my butt is glue and days fly by. Oh it’s Friday again. I live in a 62 plus community have been around it since 1998 when I moved muy mother in….everyday with 200 apts 62 plus someone else fails one way or another…I fear new close friends and the loss. I am very blessed to be capable and basically healthy and ashamed I just sit. Which is more weight. Need a life!

      Reply to Louise

    10. I just had a senior moment,I pushed the wrong button and wiped everything I had texted out. For those seasoned saints,age cannot be the variable to believing life is over. We love and we commit and we pray our future blossoms. When something changes,the commitment you entered didn’t stop and people fall out of bed,chairs and trucks not love. Marriage is sacred. If you have no idea why you have stopped being in love,check whether you ever really were committed.
      Each note I read was filled with much just living to know your value,if anyone cares,if you matter. We,at our age need to be the examples for the younger generation of those who think only about themselves. I’m certain none of us were born with a silver spoon,so life has no obligation to provide anything but the raw materials for us to decide we no longer will sit friendless,instead with the pain you’ve suffered,life experience you’ve lived…become someone’s hero. You do crafts,begin doing anything for a charity for children’s hospital,find a library read or mentor those who can’t read. Just because it seems as though the world could care less,shake off the lethargy and become someone’s hero. If you don’t think I speak truth ,take a look around. How many people do you see homeless,younger than you. There’s so much you can do besides focusing on what you don’t have…learn gratitude…learn whether you love or simply lust? Love commits lust leaves when the thrill is gone. We are filled with wonderful untapped potential to share,don’t withhold information from the younger generations that can’t seem to understand what it means to be consistent & considerate. If you are not an example,how will those who need to know learn? Living out your core values shows people that you truly are real,what you say is important and when your actions show what is in your heart words become unnecessary.

      Reply to Linda Harrelson

    11. Hi Dwight my name is Kathy I understand it when you say that it’s awful lonely around your house during the day I to live with my son and his two children since his wife left him but I still feel very lonely they all have very full lives would you like a penpal I would love to chat with you

      Reply to Cathy

  39. I am retired, in my 70’s, healthy and active but feeling very much alone in my senior years. Love to be around people but find lots of phoniness these days like older people, especially, seem unwilling or unable to just be who they are, warts and all. It took some work but I now like myself well enough (don’t think I’m flawless but like who I am). Got myself stranded out west (Ca.) having moved around some (my home town is Philly, Pa.), married and divorced in Ca., but am resigned to staying here now. My daughter is here so love to be nearby.

    I would love to hear from someone who also feels lonely and who has little or no family to enjoy holidays, etc. with. Holidays are the most painful for me as I love family stuff but have had very little of family closeness. My daughter is fine (we like each other) but she and I don’t have many interests in common. I don’t get to see my best friend anymore as she lives in Florida. The phone is my main source of communication with a few relatives and friends (east coast mostly) and though I do mix with people at church, Bible studies, and art “clubs” (H.B. Art Foundation), I have no local significant friend (to just go for coffee, lunch, shop, talk, encourage each other, for instance) so feel pretty unspecial to anyone in Ca.

    I love animals (especially horses – I am an equine artist), the out-of-doors (especially camping), just plain “hanging out”, games, Vegas, and people in general. If there is anyone who would like to do e-mail, write letters, or phone calls (maybe later), please answer this blog.

    Reply to Claire Owens

    1. Hi Claire, I am in my 70’s as well & have a horse ( had 2 for many years , had to put her down @ 35 yrs of age ). I have a small farm here in NC . I am very active as well, always a social person but since I have retired feeling lonely & you are so right in saying how hard it is to meet quality people. Accidentally stumbled across this website ( not lookin for such ) & saw your blog. My home state is NJ ( on the shore )… not having any success in sending you this message !

      Reply to Molly

      1. Hi Molly – I hope I am doing this right and you are getting my reply to your message to me. I don’t get on the computer every day, sometimes 1 – 2 weeks, hence, this pokey answer. How fortunate that you have a horse – I am a lifetime horse-lover but being a city girl, never had one of my own. I did, happily, get to help train two thoroughbreds in Va. with my horsewoman friend (she taught ME along with the horses). Loved it.

        How do you spend your days? With a ranch, I assume you might have other animals besides your horse. I love all animals, have always had more than one pet (mostly cats) but put my last cat down last year (cried a lot for awhile and still miss her). Now it’s really quiet at home but likely won’t get any more. Do you have family nearby? Kids? I just hope this gets to you – I am not very proficient on the computer.

      2. Hi Molly – thought I sent you an answer but will try again. (my capital letter button does not always work correctly) and I am not always sure my messages go through either. I’m retired, too, and have volunteered (helped out at three horse rescue stables and loved every minute). was glad to see you have a horse. sorry about your one horse being put down – I hate it when I lose an animal friend. they can be your best friends sometimes. (I just put down my last cat after years of cats (always more than one – up to four) I am from Philly and spent many weekends on the Jersey shore (barnegat Light for one). Love the Jersey shore.

        I am kind of stuck out here (Ca.) – long, boring story – been here since about ’68. was married here, divorced, with one child, a daughter who lives about 6 miles from me. she is lonely herself, sometimes, as she is also divorced with no kids. I do live alone and don’t mind so much but love to be around people, too. I make myself at least have some acquaintances but most don’t seem to have any interest in making new friends. a lot of people here (espec. older people) seem to have their support systems of family and friends set up and really don’t need or want to make an effort to include anyone else tho’ on the surface they are nice enough.

        I hope you don’t think I abandoned you and that you will write back. It’s a shame people don’t write letters anymore as it was always a good feeling to hear from people thru the mail. tell me about yourself – N.J., your farm, family, if any, what you like to do, etc., especially your horses. I am an equine artist and love to produce a beautiful horse on canvas. claire

      3. Hi Claire ! I wrote you an informative blog but as I sent it my power went off & lost it . Crazy thing to happen …. this was today ( maybe did go thru, just don’t see it ) I’ll wait to see if indeed it went thru, if not I’ll sent you another one ! SORRY for the delay ( explained in my blog ) hope this finds you ! regards, Molly

      4. Hello Claire ! I just saw my message on your blog ( they have gotten faster on getting messages thru ) ☺️ That’s a good thing ! Before it took several days. Oh well, I want to thank you for being so persistent in your efforts to get a message to me .. I had checked for a response several times then just got busy here on my property ( growing season started a little early this spring ) today checked & saw your messages to me. It’s a small world, I was married in philly ( many moons ago ) the good thing was my son from that marriage however the marriage didn’t go the distance. I love where I’m from just can’t afford property there ( prices & taxes ) crazy. My sister lives in cape May & loves it . Really enjoy the seaside towns ( great memories ). I have lived on this property close to 18 yrs. brought with me 2 horses a dog & a cat ( which 1 horse is still with me ) 32 year old Arabian ( still beautiful as ever & spunky ). While on this property I have adopted 3 dogs & 3 cats. Still with me my dog of 6yrs old & my cat of 17 yrs old. Precious are both ! I’m at peace with the passing of each one ( they had great lives here on the farm. You have a talent I always wish I had, your an artist ( has to be wonderful & fulfilling ). You had mentioned writing letters, yes it’s a lost art ( always nice to get the mail with a HANDWRITTEN letter waiting to be read ). I can’t complain I have a good life but does sometimes get lonely ( even tho I keep pretty busy ). My knowledge on the computer is not the best, my go to guy is my grandson almost 9 yrs old . My son & his family live minutes away ( but have such busy lives ) . Today life is more complicated for young families then when I was raising my son. I’m jumping around with my message, trying to answer your questions & tell you a little about myself. This morning I had written a message that was in order but it didn’t go thru. I apoligze if this message is hard to follow. I’m going to say goodnight now & hope to hear from you !

      5. I am new to this site. I am responding to Molly from NC .IBefore I write more, let me know where this note will end and to whom. Thanks. Faye

    2. Claire,

      I can relate to Holidays. I have no family. The friends I do have are all male, I worked in a male dominated industry. They are married, so I cannot call them up and ask them to a movie or to go somewhere for a long weekend.

      I have done all I can think of to move forward, although this is not positive,it is truth….” each day is simply a duplication fro the one before.” I remember joy, happiness, friends. For me it is not worth existing, all people need to live, have life. We all need a sense of community, purpose and feel we our loved, cared about. I have none of this. I go out everyday, I volunteer, but it is not fulfilling. I do wonder if I will be here tomorrow. I do not mind being alone, I mind the lonliness.

      Please write back if you feel like it. I wish you well.

      Karen

      Reply to Karen

      1. Hi Karen – It was good to hear from you. You and I seem to have a lot in common. I think of myself as very normal with normal human yearnings as in love and respect from others – family and friends, especially. without it (my capital letter button does not always work) life can be pretty dull even though you love some things about it (horses, for one for me). I was raised in a pretty normal family, a middle child – only girl of three kids and I understand my dad really wanted a girl when I was born (they had a family party for me at birth) but, for some reason, both parents (espec. my mom) never really “talked” to me (no interest in my grades at school, no compliments, encouragement, didn’t teach me how to do anything, for instance – they just didn’t talk to me other than rudimentary small talk). I won’t bore you with much else here, but emotionally, I was starving. Other relatives the same; it’s like I really didn’t have a family at all. some lady above said why do parents want and have children if they don’t want to nourish them and care for them. I asked that very question many times.

        I got kind of stuck out here; california (long boring story) – I do have one child – a daughter who lives six miles away. she is also somewhat alone (she has some friends having been raised here but is currently divorced with no kids. I love her but we have little to no interests in common.

        I’d love to hear more about your own life. I hope you will write back again. If you just wanna write for a while, that’s fine. I’m a little on the shy side, at least at first. I do understand your loneliness quite well, Karen, and I hope you will write back when you get a chance. i hope you will tell me more about yourself, your past, home town, interests. claire

      2. Dear Karen,

        I am 65 year old man interested in strengthening my mental health and helping others to find more interest in their lives. I am looking for groups on social media to participate in.

        I am married twenty plus years. We live together kind of like college room mates that are sick of each other and still have six months on our lease. I rode my bike 30 miles yesterday, and am getting ready after writing this to run five miles. In the Spring and Fall I have been section hiking alone on the Appalachian Trail. My hips and knees may not carry me to many more years at such activities.

        Where are older people on social media conversing about staying active, motivated, and helping each other with encouragement and understanding?

      4. Hi Karen
        I m married to an American soldier im originally from Germany . We moved around a lot but I’m still very lonely and feel isolated . I don’t fit in no matter what I do . I don’t have the same interest like my husband it makes life more complicated . What im trying to say is married life can be very lonesome and boring . I wish many times I would be alone but can only imagine what it would be like . Elisabeth

      5. Hi Daniel I am a 67 year old widow from California. My husband passed away about a year ago. Its not fun and I do volunteer. Would love someone to talk to we just need to be honest with one another and no games. Does that sound good? I just found this today I don’t know how long your post has been up if you already have alot of friends I will understand. Thank you for your time. Chris

      6. New here. I’m so relating to many of these stories, saddens me. I’m a 70 year old male, from NY. I have been in a eight relationship with who I thought was my dream lady. Unfortunately, I was blinded by the light. She has left me, obviously didn’t want to deal with my blood cancer diagnosis. I’m now alone, and getting treatment, Very hard and depressing. Prognosis is very good for remission, but some side effects. Every day a bit of challenge. I’ve always been active, long time runner, amongst other sports. Even with treatment I do power walking and some yoga. But still a tremendous void, which is sort of downward spiral. I try church helps somewhat. Not looking for a relationship necessarily, but if one came my way, I’d be ok. But friendship is paramount. Thanks to anyone who reads this

      8. Hey George,
        I am a woman, not much younger than you, living in NYC.
        I just accidentally came upon this website, so not sure how it works.

        Would be interested in corresponding through email,
        or by phone, with you. Interested in possible friendship if you are. I have interest in many things and enjoy meeting people.

        You are lucky in that, if you had to get cancer at all, you got a type that carries a good prognosis. Meeting new friends thru this website (including myself?) might be a welcome distraction for you. Hope to hear from you, Christine

  40. i am 60m and was born and live in Costa Rica. I have lots of friends, but, the more the merrier!!! I have twin grand-daughters and people often think they are my daughters!! Love working out and reading!

    Reply to Eli

    1. Hello Eli. I wish to move to Costa Rica although I’ve noticed housing prices increasing rapidly. The area around Tamarindo appeals to me and a place called Casa Verde has homes I can afford. I am a retired educator, international teacher, former Peace Corps Volunteer, author, and music afficionada. I speak Spanish fairly well. Would this area provide access to interesting activities and social life once we get out of Covid, especially for single seniors? Your thoughts?

      Reply to PENELOPE FOX

  41. Feminism has really destroyed many of us good single young men looking for a good woman to settle down with. And now unfortunately since so many of these women are very high maintenance, independent, very greedy, selfish, spoiled, picky, narcissists, feminists, and very money hungry, which certainly has a lot to do with it why so many of us men are still single today as i speak. The women today are really to blame for this mess since the great majority of the women back in the old days were certainly Real Ladies with very good manners and a good personality which they Don’t have today at all. And since i know friends that are having the very same problem today as well, which they really do feel as bad as me since we never ever expected to be single this long either. And now you have the women that have their Careers which they really think their God’s gift to men with their six figure salary which makes it even worse for many of us very serious men looking for love today. And i wish that i could have been born in the good old days which i definitely would have met a real very nice woman since even i myself would have been all settled down by now with my own good wife and family today as i speak, instead of still being single and all alone now which my friends that i know really agree with me as well. And being single and alone all the time can really be very unhealthy and depressing as well. Very obvious why married men live longer.

    Reply to HateBeingSingle33

    1. Hi, I’m a 64 year old woman and I completely agree with what you wrote here. Feminism has turned this country upside down! AND, it’s the MEN being blamed:/ There are those who want a genderless society, but both God and Science show male and female differences and it was supposed to be ‘good’! The sexes were supposed to compliment each other’s differences. Only women can bear children. Only women lactate and can nurse their babies. As a former teacher, I have seen what having no one at home to raise children has done to society. Other people are raising these children. No one will ever love another’s child like a parent . You didn’t ask for suggestions, but if you practice a religion, maybe a singles group? Although, religion doesn’t always guarantee a successful marriage there might be a chance for you to find a denomination where gender roles are encouraged and appreciated for what they were intended., to support and uphold one another and make strong family units. For those people who want to raise their children ‘gender free’ they obviously did NOT study Biology 101. Both women and men can bring their special and unique qualities to the marriage. My daughter is a stay at home mom and she frequently is met with hostility because of not having a ‘job’. The most important job on this planet is the raising of one’s children! I feel for you and hear your frustration. My prayers are with you. Persist and don’t give up hope!

      Reply to Patrica

      1. You are ill informed. My prayers are that you accept changes in the world and mind your own business about the choices of people different from you.

      3. Hi Patrica, i made this comment about two months ago which what i have said was the truth. Most women today have very high standards, and they will usually go with men that have a lot of money which makes them real gold diggers to begin with. And they just can’t accept many of us good single men for who we really are since it is all about money for these type of women unfortunately. Women are age are a real joke nowadays, and to think how very different that most women were back in the old days since they were the very complete opposite of today, and most women were real ladies as well at that time. Just saying good morning or hello to a woman that many of us single men would really like too meet has become so very dangerous for many of us men now, and we really have to be very careful of sexual harassment too. And there are times when these very pathetic women will even Curse at us for no reason at all. That is why many of us good single men are just doomed to be single and alone, and the way women have changed today which certainly explains why. It is a real good thing that most women back in the past weren’t like today at all, otherwise this world would’ve never progressed the way that it did over these years very thanks to them. Too bad God didn’t make women today like the past. Well thank you very much for your support. I will never give up. Peace.

      4. Melissa that’s a shame . I’m an amateur futurist and within the next 10 years or so tech may have much better mental health treatments as well as aging process reversal and many other solutions. Why do you think you will always be alone????????

    2. Hi dear, you are so young (just 33 years old), for such a pessimist vision. Look out there still many good girls, who’s isn’t money hungry, narcissist, spoiled, greedy, and many other adjectives you have pointed. Maybe you are looking on the wrong places. For sure if you open your heart and stop generalizing woman, will going to find a real nice girl, and you are going to see her as God send gift to you. Good luck!! Be happy no matter!!

      Reply to Laudemicia Almeida

      1. Being alone doesn’t mean a person is lonely, but I desperately am. I’m a senior over 65 no husband or friends. My children are grown and gone. I go days without speaking to people. When I wake up in the mornings sometimes this gloom hits me and I don’t think I can do another day like this. I do get out and go to the YMCA two or three times a week but it’s not enough. I so desperately need someone.

      2. Hi Mailia – I just typed a blog comment on this site and see that you are struggling with lonliness, too, in your senior years. This is Mar. 16 (2019) so if you want to contact me, there is a web site (e-mail address) for you to use. (foxrest7771@yahoo.com).

        Lonliness is a very painful place to be, especially as we age. Never thought it would be like this. Claire

      5. Hi Maili . I recently lost my Mother. I stayed with her a lot, but had to travel back to be with my husband. I understand your loneliness. Text me and let me know how your doing. Rosalie

      7. Patrica, Quite a change today in the women compared to the old days unfortunately. Most women were real ladies back then, and the very complete opposite of today since most of their parents did raise them very well back then. Thank you very much for your support.

  42. I’m 48 with 5 and 7 year old children. I’m lonely, have no friends, or husband. I’m simply waiting for my kids to get out of high school, then I’m checking out. I have no intention of living single, unwanted, and unloved.

    Reply to Melissa

    1. You know your name means honey in Greek. I think you’re minutes away from falling in love Mellisa. I really don’t think knocking off is a good idea. I mean, god granted life, and we shouldn’t give it away so easily. I think you’re blessed with children. I always wanted them, but was told I couldn’t make them when I was much younger. What ever poison the doctors and specialists put in my brain, I believed them until I didn’t. No one has allowed me the opportunity to prove them wrong. I’m 55 and if I met the right person, I would be happy to prove I am capable of children. But I don’t think the world is ready for the next christ (born of a man unable to produce). Wasn’t the first one from an immaculate mother. It would make sense to have one from the immaculate father.
      Anyways, don’t give up hope. Love is at your doorstep. Remember to hold onto it when it arrives.

      Reply to DJ

    2. Melissa that’s a shame . I’m an amateur futurist and within the next 10 years or so tech may have much better mental health treatments as well as aging process reversal and many other solutions. Why do you think you will always be alone????????

      Reply to Sherry

  43. Hi, I am a 64 year old male. All my kids live in different states. I am working a state different than where I grew up. I do have friends back home. But really none here where I currently live. Which is a small community. So all I do is go to work and go home to an empty place. Day in and day out. It’s getting really old. All my family and friends want me to move back home. I can not afford to live there. As the housing is so expensive. I do have a plan to pay off my vehicles. Then after that I plan on taking the deep sleep. I am that lonely and depressed. Never talked to anyone before about this. Just keeping it to myself. Just wanted to get it off my chest. Not looking for sympathy, help or anything. Just wanted to get what’s bothering me out. Thanks for listening. I’m not posting my real name.

    Reply to Steve

    1. Hi Steve
      I am from India. Are u shocked. I guess I know how u feel . Though I live surrounded by kids and grandkid’s I feel pretty lonely too. I was so busy taking care of my family , I forgot to make friends . Now I feel lonely and I too feel exactly like u . When it’s time to go , it’s time . Until then Steve live yr life to the best .

      Reply to Beela Joseph

      1. Hi I was widowed after 45 yrs of marriage . I met a guy 8 month after and fell in love with him . .We were together 4 yrs , he walked out on me and left me totally devastated. I also do not need sympathy . It feels better for me to post my feelings. I am trying to figure out how to cope.

    2. Hello, just want you to know that I read your post and also that I think I understand why you wrote it. While you make money to pay off your vehicles and before you plunge into the big sleep, is there someone you can help? Sometimes a smile or a kind word is enough and there are so many in desperate need of a friendly gesture. May your journey be eased and may you find what you need (even if it’s not what you want). M

      Reply to Mara

    3. Hi Eric:
      I am 74+ and have been in U K for three months and now am off to USA…. to FL!!! I’d love to chat with you!!! Long distance friendships are always great…. just remember we will be 6hours apart time wise!!!! Your 6pm will be my 12 pm….I hate being lonely…. so glad got this site by accident!!!
      Regards
      Mea

      Reply to Meenakshi Mallahan

    4. Hi Steve,

      Don’t know if you will see this since you posted a few months ago. Anyway, how fortunate are you that you have family who care enough about you to suggest you move back home. I only have a son and his wife. They found out that I gambled away most of my inheritance. I have never asked anyone for anything. They say I have been a burden. They want me to move out of state. My heart is broken. My son will help me, but things will never be the same. Please keep in touch with your family. You are blessed!

      Reply to Barb

    5. Hello Steve,

      I read your post and thought,”Gee, that sounds similar to me”. Then I read further about your “solution”. I hope you reconsider and I hope anyone reading this will also reconsider killing themselves.
      I have run up against those same thoughts several times in life. I could never have planned for the type of hurt that I have been subjected to living this life, things for sure have not turned out as planned. The one thing that has gotten me through the bad places is the thought that Tomorrow is always another day. Not the day I am living right now but another day.
      I am struck by how familiar most folks thoughts, feeling, experiences are to mine. We all stand here with an the understanding of our mortality and fragility of our situations. I will try to bear this in mind in the future and try not to be judgemental.
      Obviously I am lonely also but more so I feel foolish and at times regretful. All I ever wanted to be was a husband and a father. After early dissolution I got sober, got a good job, got a black belt, married a “good” woman and moved to another state to raise a family in a positive environment,(not the Bronx).
      Fast forward, I’m 65, divorced, (married the Devil), lost the house,{put her on deed, she repaid by forcing foreclosure,also stealing 150k}. Forced to move to keep my job. Youngest son just starting college. Move 7 times in 7 years. Retired. Now living in the country on 27a in the middle of nature but all by myself.
      You could say poor guy but I am still here. I am in charge of my life. As long as there is another day there is a new shot at life. During my divorce I thought about killing myself everyday for about 6mo. I’d wake up and look at my .45 and say “not today”. Why? Because it was a new day and God helps them that helps themselves. And as a Catholic I know suicide is a mortal sin. Of course I was good at sinning before I got sober but now I have something to uphold and that is who I have become.
      Life is for living and it is our responsibility to so that as best as we are able.

      0

      Reply to John T

    7. Hi Steve I’m Kathy I’m very sorry that you feel that lonely and depressed and I it scares me to think what you’re actually thinking of doing I would love to chat with you talk to you see how you’re doing I am also a single woman with grown children and I do feel very lonely some days but I would love to have a penpal if you would like to chat with me

      Reply to cathy

    1. I know how you feel. I’m 55 and haven’t found a wife. I’m now resigned to the idea that I’ll never marry and may as well just swallow a bullet than to go any further alone. You, however, are still young yet. While you are young, there’s always hope. Hang in there. You may be pleasantly surprised at what your future holds for you.

      Reply to Jack Kramer

      1. Hi Jack I’m 53 and am very lonely and depressed! I feel like my life is over! I don’t even know how I got on this sight and I’m sure I won’t find it again. I just want to wish you the best and hope GOD Blesses you with a long healthy and happy life! I hope you find what you desire Lynn Nazami

      2. Hi everyone, I stumbled onto this blog tonight. I’m 58 and alone. Married 29 years divorced no kids and all my family has now passed. I have a lot of friends but as someone else mentioned it seems there are a lot of fake friends too today. It’s a different world today. Loyalty, honesty, trust, respect was a code many of us lived by. Not so much today. I’ve come up with a saying…. friends not friends. Meaning not real friends we used to have years ago. I do have 3 dogs and always had horses but my last one passed at 26 in November. No more horses for me but I’ve always had dogs and they keep me going. Maybe it’s the unconditional love which seems so rare to find in this world today. I am a peer specialist which is a form of a therapist but we have real life experience, often very hard experience ourselves. In other words we just don’t learn from a book. I see a few who have had hard losses. I have too and yes I do understand. Sometimes you have to walk in shoes to really understand many things in life. Hearing the phases you’ll get over it or time heals all pain are just nice things for people to say when they don’t know what else to say. Sympathy and empathy are two very different things. Few look for sympathy what they want is empathy which is understanding. As we all age I think many of us do feel lonely and it’s very difficult to cope sometimes. We have a lot of the same fears but no one to tell or we don’t want to appear weak. But it is straight up honesty, it’s hard to go thru life alone. Our generations here weren’t really built for a life alone and we struggle. The older we get the more losses we have and we carry the pain of those losses. Holidays are the worse aren’t they? So many happy memories but no one to share them with anymore. I’ve thought many times of the old show the golden girls and how much sense it seems to make today. Sharing a home of friendship of men and women, supporting one another, independent yet a sense of a family. Like minded individuals who share same values just wanting a sense of a family who cares. For those who see nothing but loneliness ahead, you are not alone in your thoughts. They are shared by many but what do we do about it? I’m on the jersey border and many here are from all around the country. What do you think about a shared living concept for those who are alone? Do you think we’d be healthier and happier if we lived with others instead of alone? I believe I would feel much better sharing life with others knowing I had support and help if needed.

      3. I think that’s an excellent idea! I’ve been looking for senior communities with no luck. It is only we who really appreciate what we can do and who we are.

      4. Hi suzzane (my capital button doesn’t work correctly sometimes). You are quite a bit younger than me (I am retired and could probably be your mother) but identified with much you said. I wrote above about how so many people lately are really so fake (or scared to death you may get to really know what they’re like) and just spout off a lot of meaningless small talk (which gets mighty old).

        I am quite alone, live alone tho’ that’s basically ok. what I mean is I was married out here (Ca.) , divorced with one child, a daughter. she’s about six miles from me and is herself divorced with no kids. we love each other dearly but have little to no interests in common, hence, I get lonely and so does she at times tho’ she has some friends having been raised here. I don’t mind aloneness sometimes but really most enjoy time with people (espec. “real” people).

        we have no other family here except each other. Holidays are depressing for both of us so we usually grit out teeth and tough it out. I watch “golden Girls” sometimes and think it is a good idea to find pals to live with to help support each other. Wonder if it’s really feasible, tho’. Maybe some people will write and tell us if it is. I even looked into it once out here. Not sure how you go about it. some people already have their family and friends support system set up and don’t seem to be interested in including (or making the effort to include) anyone else into their circle. a lot of people here spend holidays alone for that reason.

        feel free to reply to this message if you want. I am in ca. (not really by choice), from Philly, Pa. love animals (espec. horses, dogs and cats), love to laugh and let stupid little stuff go by the wayside. Hope you are doing well these days. claire Owens

      5. Hello, I’m just your age but have no friends nor close relatives left. There are many studies that show how loneliness and hopelessness decrease our physical health. Being so, we should all find ways to live together. The sense of community is really important for our social well being: we all want to be part of something good and joyful. That said, in my country one has to relay upon the biological family net and since I have none, I’m doomed to be alone and on the outskirts of life.

      6. Sorry this is my first time and long.
        Hi Suzanne. I am 63 and live on the east coast. Your post brought tears to my eyes. Sorry for the loss of your horse. Right now i am dealing with my rescued Maltese of 13 years who has just been diagnosed with cancer and tumors. There is nothing that can be done. The other heartbreaking part of this is, I rescued a Yorkie within 3 months of each other. They have never been seperated. How do you explain where her sister went? It’s ripping my heart out.

        I too wake up so lonely every day. I cry for hours. I think of ways to take my life. It consumes me. The pain of lonIiness has become to much for me. It’s only going to get worse. I’VE done therapy, medication, activities. It’s not the same. It’s that connection that people care and you can call on them for help and vice versa. I cant believe my family who we have stuck together our whole life now see me as an out cast. How can your family do that??I have great friends but life has taken us in different ways. I have a daughter, brother and sister that live leass than 30 minutes away. My daughter got made at me for being honest with her and punished me by taking my grandkids away. We were so close our whole life and all of a sudden I am used for a scape goat for something my daughter did. My family talks behind everyones back, lies and my sister has been telling personal stuff to my family that was to be private for years. I never knew. I WAS SO DEVASTATED!! My flesh and blood. I raised my sister from the time I was 12 and then she had to move out at 28 as she was pregnant. There is so much more. I kept us out of foster homes. My sister is 4 years younger brother 19 months older. Of course there is more.

        Because I won’t let them tell me how to act, what to think, say, be like them, make fun of me and talk about me behind my back and then not be upset . I am now a trouble maker and there’s something wrong with me.

        All my extended family is gone and i would give anything to be with them. When i question my family about why they did or said that they ignore or threaten to block me. THEY ARE THE BIGGEST COWARDS I KNOW!! At least i know i still have integrity, honesty, morals, values, empathy, compassion and kindness in my heart. Having your only family turn against you is not normal part of life. No family holidays to share, hugs, words of love, phone calls to see if your ok, invitation to family events. THE BIGGEST HOLE IN MY HEART AND LOSS WAS MY DAUGHTER RIPPING MY GRANDCHILDREN FROM ME AFTER A LOVING 5 YEAR RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM. I wake up ill every day thinking about the.

        Suzanne, sorry so long. I think the Golden Girls and Boys are worth looking into. Family isn’t always blood related….

      7. Suzanne,.
        I have been searching for the “family” you describe in your post. I am 63, living outside of Seattle, divorced for 8 years. I have only Social Security Disability as income as I recently had to leave my last job due to spinal issues. Because I can not find a home of lonely seniors, I live in a “sober” home with others having addictions but I am by far the oldest, have no affiliation with addiction and the tenants change monthly. I have no children and siblings are involved with their own families. I cannot live the rest of my God-given life just existing. I lost everything through an abusive marriage and more abusive divorce.
        I want to wake up with a purpose. I would like to be in contact with those that are looking to live with others like ourselves. Is it possible that this could be a reality? Although I am grateful to have a roof over my head, I have to believe there is more joy waiting for me.

      8. Hi Suzanne,
        I think you have the correct insight. I also find when I try to make friends it seems that they are not interested because they already have their own family and circle of friends. Never in my life have I had such a hard time making friends. It all started after I got divorced. Even though my ex and I are still good friends. I moved to SC shortly after I divorced. I have tried to find a few meaningful friends. I don’t want friends that will back stab you or talk about others. I also don’t want to hear about all your health issues all the time. We all have our own health problems. I am a good listener and I would like someone that will also listen to me. I mostly like to be around positive people that like to laugh. I guess it’s hard to find good people these days.

        I too have watched the Golden Girls and have thought how fun that would be to live together with close friends that get along so good. Unfortunately that is not real life. I will say I am trying to sell my home and move to a 55 retirement community. I have heard so many good things about this community. Besides having so many things to do. The most important reason I want to live there is that they look out for each other. I have heard this from many residents.
        I hope my home sells so I can move. It is a huge community with neighborhoods. If I can’t find a few nice friends then I never will. At least I will be around people my age. BTW their is 3200 homes! No one can say to me that I don’t try to change my lonely life. I’m even willing to move. I have gone to meetups, tried to find nice friends in my own neighborhood. Gone to parks with my dog and festivals.

        I just hope my home sells so I can move to this wonderful community. If my house don’t sell I’m thinking of getting a tiny RV and take trips.

        I’m getting pretty desperate to change my life. Good luck to everyone and DON’T give up!

        Kristina

      9. i just wanted to check on lynn ,knowing how she feels i thought i would try and talk to to help if i could brighten her day a little ,,living alone ,being alone highly depressed at times it seems you dont or you aint gonna go on ,15 years ago i was diagnosed with CIDP,same as MS, same as GUILLEUM BURAY SYNDRUM, all three life long diseases only treatmeants no cures …..before this i was depressed ,i was still dealing with being an abandon child i’ve never been able to completely dismiss it because my biological mother passed before i was able to forgive her so that throws another stick in the fire so i’ve dealing with a bunch issues with my father that just keep escalating ,,,sometimes i dont wanna be here for all the pain i feel from it all many years i ran from it i could be around it ,thought it was closing in on me had to keep moving ,,now with the diseases i cant run no more but i still cant face it all ,started me a small busneiuss and i’m putting 14 ,15 hours a day into it get about 3 to 4 hours sleep a day ,,i dont want to live like this ,,and i’m close to running again ..when i read what lynn had writen i just wanted to tell her i’ll be your freind ..everybody needs a freind ,,if she decideds to acept a freindship i’m gonna list how she may get in touch first of all my name is shawn hughes i am 58 years old i live in va ..

      10. Hi I’m Deb
        I’m 54 and single my last child just graduated and will be on his own soon. I’m kind of lonely and looking for someone to go places with and enjoy my life now

        It seems that it’s hard to find that someone don t believe he’s out there. I hope he is.

    2. I’m 70 years old been retired 10 ..Married twice 20 years all together..Just want a friendship..Don’t want to get married but they see you own your House and your Car your doing good they want to get Married..I say can we just be Friends and they say I want something more..I say I can’t do it and its Goodbye.I’m along but I don’t FEEL ALONG..My Sister tells me to get a DOG…

      .

      Reply to Willis Haley

      1. Some women of retirement age, have a lifetime of having their own homes, however modest. Things such as fine rolex watches mean nothing to us. Nice for you to have nice things, but that would never impress me. They are not mine, I did not work for them. Therefore I would never date any man who thought that was all that was important to me.
        Simple and basic, is all one really needs after all.

      2. I feel the same way, I don’t want a dog, that is what my daughter tells me . Haha ! I just want a friend to travel with and go to events with, so hard to find someone that wants the same. I am in Georgia, what part of the country are you? I am a 67 year old divorced woman, I have lived here for 2 years , I should have stayed in my home state at least I New a few people., now I am here and just don’t want the expense of trying to sell here and move .

      3. Hi Diane – I think you’re the same Diane who answered my earlier blog. I’m Claire from Philly living just south of L.A. (Love horses and you said you have a small ranch in N.C.) If this is not you, you can answer anyway if you like. =^..^=

      4. Hi , I hear you, J am 64 and go days without speaking to anyone , the silence is just awful especially at night… I took early retirement due to illness and now don’t seem to fit in anywhere. I guess my life was at work.. I raised 3 kids who are grown with their own families.. I am in MA and just wondering your location, I am remission of leukemia and now wish I had never retired..

      6. I am just curious. Why do you not want to get married again?
        If you are lucky enough to find someone that you care for and who cares for you, why would you not want to share your life? I don’t understand this. Yeah, I’m set in my ways and like to do things a certain way but I figure anyone I would love would also have these traits and yeah, it might be tough adjusting to one another. Marriage can be work but I’d rather be happy than right. I’ve always thought the best way to spend your golden years was in a duplex, the hubby on one side and wife on the other. Just kidding, sort of.
        Are you looking just for a friend, or a friend with benefits? What is about being single that makes you want to stay that way?

      7. Hey Willis,
        My sympathies. You have been lying to yourself for some time now, because you like your space and freedom and don’t like being nagged. This is why you tell yourself the lies about why women want to marry you.
        If you have women to care enough about you at age 70, you have it better than most. Women at that age are not looking to scam you. What they want is for their old fashioned morals to be respected. 70 years ago, women who were not married, but were living with a man were considered less lady like. If a woman loves you, allowing her to marry you is not for what you own outside of your body, its for what you hold inside of you.
        Soon as you stop lieing to yourself, you will see I’m right. Maybe, you needed to lie all these times so the next woman that comes along and wants to become an honest woman for you, maybe you’ll say yes, because you will know its love and not money, that brings joy. Best of luck to you.

      8. Hi Willis,
        I’m 68 yr old female. I own my home and car. I’m doing fine on my own. Not all women are wanting marriage. I’m looking for friendship. I seem to get along better with men for some reason. I live in SC near Charlotte, NC Where do you live? If you are interested in getting to know each other, I would like to make some friends.

        Kristina

    4. Hi Di. I am 64 and have arthritis in my hands. I live in Mississippi. We moved here 2 years ago. My Mom died this past September, she was my best friend. I have not found anyone here I feel I could be friends with. I have 4 fur babies. My cats. All rescues. I now live close to my son and grandchildren. They are always busy. I’m happy for them, but lonely. Take care.

      Reply to Rosalie Garrett

  45. Hi
    I am Nash, 58, in Ohio, lost my spouse little over a year ago. This adjustment to a new life at this age is full of surprises to say the least. Dating at this age, is even more of a “challenge”. I am just looking for a like minded female to hang out with, do things with that like me, has their act together. Miss the companionship of someone to hang out with. I am very down to earth, no drama, no games, no BS. Exercise, look younger than my age. Like being outside, more of a summer person.
    Why is it so hard to find like minded people?

    Reply to Nash

    2. Hi Nash – just writing to encourage you to just keep on searching. You sound like a great guy (I am a retired senior and am not suitable for you but still know how you feel – long, boring story). There are women out there who would likely love to meet you so don’t give up. Just know that your dilemma is pretty common (but still painful, sometimes). God bless and help you. Claire

      Reply to Claire

    1. To many of the comments, best thing to do is help save and rescue animals. Become lost pet detective. Work, volunteer at animal shelter. The worse you feel, helping one is worse off can bring you comfort and grace.
      Good luck and go with God.

      Reply to Katie D. Bear

      1. Very True! Helping others is certainly a good way to lift one’s spirits. Course we do have to make time for our own needs.
        Alone in this world after a lifetime of carring for others, i plan on being the best I can be. This year I’m going to make it a point to get out and talk to many more people, just one more dance and maybe a trip or two.

      2. I agree, I am a 56 year old widowed male with no children, low income and not too many friends. I always feel better when I can help. Weather it’s an animal or human. Helping somebody working on a project. I would like to have more friends but, as we know it gets harder after 50 and being single and no kids. Can anybody point me in the right direction. I live in Smyrna GA. I have looked at a few website for volunteer work. But all they want is donations. I don’t make much money. But I would be gladly to volunteer my time and maybe meet new friends.
        John..

      3. Hi John – Read your blog and you sound like a great guy. My heart goes out to you as some of us somehow end up in some pretty lonely and isolated situations. I am too old for you (in my 70’s) but you sound like you could easily be of interest to some woman somewhere. God bless you. Claire

  47. My name is Dennis, Im 49yrs old. Live in NY by myself and I lost my daughter to cancer. My wife divorced me months after the death of our daughter. I still can’t get over losing my daughter I have a great family but its just not the same I’m so lonely at the moment. I believe God does not cause our loved ones to die. Well, By choice I would love to get to know you become a real good friend whatever happens let happen.

    Reply to Dennis

    1. Hi Dennis…. Merry Christmas..
      I live in Las Vegas….yep, can even be lonely out here…but I seem to make the most out of what I have around me and I am not talking casinos because I never go to them.
      Had a beautiful Christmas program last night–lights are great and so is music.
      Write soon if you want.
      Bee

      Reply to Bee

      1. Dear Dennis I am so sorry for your heart breaking tradgey.my name is Elinor .I am a 54 year old widow from nc.my husband died of Alzheime’s three years ago. He was 64.

      2. God bless you Dennis, I pray for the peace of God to be with you. My name is Rosa and I also live in New York. I also know how is feel to loose a family member who you truly love, it was my brother die in 2017. Take care I hope you feel better. Chao

    2. Dennis,
      I am so sorry about your daughter and pray for you. I am sorry your wife left you as well. I lost my oldest son to murder 13 Oct. 1990. He was 20. I know how you feel. It has been 29 years for me and I still grieve each day that passes. Dont let anyone tell you its gets easier cause it doesn’t. Time does have a way of day that go by, I may not think of James, but most days he is with me.
      No writing you for anything, am 69, just letting you know prayers in my daily wake helps.
      God Speed
      Linda
      Ps my husband left me this past friday after 18 years.

      Reply to Linda Davis

      1. Linda
        My heart goes out to you. I lost my precious child in 2001 and thought I would never adjust . In many ways I have not. It was a tragedy, Life Guard talking to the girls and my son slipped away.
        No one understands . My stupid brother in law was surprised when I was still mourning after 3 months!!!!
        And others gave me a year to “get over it”.
        You do not get over the death of you child.
        If we returned back to our lives as if nothing happened, then something is very wrong.
        This experience can only change you. For better or worse, I hope for better.
        You see the world through different eyes. You walk through the chaff until you find someone that understands. The world is so phony. Even many that attend church or synagogue.
        Thankfully I have my husband of 40 years and my oldest son. And now a new grandson. I must say, that baby truly lifted my heart .
        Life is not about fancy homes and cars, etc. It is about relationships. Real relationships where you feel comfortable sitting quietly with some one, or weeping.
        There is so much sadness in this world. And what angers me are the spouses that walk out the door because it is too hard???? Paleeze!
        That is what marriage counseling is for.
        My faith saved me , even though I first cursed God. He was faithful and I pray you all feel His presence.
        Blessings!

      2. hi Linda,im in the uk. My girl(age 20) got killed +dumped +was left to
        rot for 6 weeks before police found her. that was 12 years ago.
        now my son wont talk to my terminally ill partner ,
        so im stuck in the middle of those 2,visiting my son in secret,
        pretending to partner im not in contact with son either to keep
        the peace. i left home at 16 cos of stepfather abuse +too many
        siblings at home. no privacy.lived with an abusive family friend.
        im now menopausal,suicidally depressed. ive met too many
        deceitful,manipulative so called friends,inc my ex employer
        who was secretly getting my girl involved in wrongful activities+he
        couldve prevented her death. I think about daughter every
        minute of every day +how iv failed as a parent. i should never
        have been born.At least Linda you understand some of my hell

        i go through.please do not any1 mention ANYTHING to do with
        religion. it dosent help. i have no beliefs.i just need empathy ,
        understanding which most people nowadays DO NOT have.

    3. I just lost my husband . Would love to just have a buddy in my life. Been married more than once. But I am not looking for a relationship. I am looking for a friendship. I am 59. I know what loss is all about. My husband died with esphogael cancer. It was a tough journey

      Reply to Lorri L Frank

      2. I do, so much agree. I want friends, platonic relationships. It seems everyone is desperate for a spouse At 65, I do look younger, but have 50 year old men intent on a relationship, which causes problems with female friendships. Would love just a glass of wine and good conversation. Being in a unique situation, not looking for relationship, can actually get lonely!

      4. Hi, I’m 65, widowed to cancer also. Don’t even know where to begin, I really am seeking a platonic relationship, male or female. Everybody is looking for a date. Wish they had friend sites, for those of us not looking for more.

      5. Hi Lorrie…i am looking for friendship. I live in Denver, Colorado, and I am pretty .uch on my own. I am a “youthful” 67 and ha e led a good life…but now i find myself all alone in my big house. Not sure where to turn or what to do. I would like to share my home with someone too. What a lonely girl to do??
        Sa dy

      7. I lost my husband last year to a sudden heart attack. I know how hard it is to lose someone close. I know all about the loneliness. I am 54 years old. I am just looking for friends to write to, I’m not looking for a romantic partner on this site.

    4. Hi Dennis, I am so sorry about your daughter.
      I am 56 years old widow without kids and would like to meet you and share a friendship.
      It is good to have friends, to talk, to listen to you to go for a walk to relieve yourself of loss and grief

      Reply to Joan

    5. Hi Dennis, there are many fish in the ocean, life is to short to be waisted.Your daughter is your guardian angel now,if your wife leave you, her love is not genuine. Pray and do the good thing to others and a good woman from God will be send to you,cheers! This is Lanie from the Philippines., 45 years old widow with 3 snart teen ager son.take care and God bless you.

      Reply to Lanie Durias

      1. Where are you located being alone is rough. I am 67 and have been alone for almost 2 years. Someone to talk to or text with is nice.”

    7. Dennis sorry for your loss. Its often hard to find the right words to say when confronted with a complete stranger sharing their loss. I’m not sure what to say, well I can say this never been on this page & god must of led me here for a reason.
      Keep your head up & know know another comllete stranger listened to your story & wants you happy! we all deserve that!

      Reply to Sad eyes

    2. Hello Dorotthea

      Landed on this site via a search phrase ….

      It`s only 1;17 pm, and just sitting in my hotel room with not a soul
      nor family to speak with.
      Just staring out at the eastern Utah foothills now covered with snow.

      Holler if you would like…

      Dave

      Reply to dave

  49. I lost my second husband of 20 years this summer. He was a big man with a big heart . The last ten years were painful and lonely as he gave in to an eating disorder and depression. No different than any addiction. It takes a toll on loved ones. My first marriage was 27 years long, resulted in five children, and was filled with a combination of alternating affection and verbal abuse.

    I understand depression. It has been with me a long time. I have a bachelors in counseling, and just short of a masters in gerontology. But what has overtaken me in the past few months is nearly debilitating. It is not mental. I stay in my pajamas all day. Some days I get a burst of motivation and throw myself into continuing the job of clearing out all my husband’s clutter. I need help getting it all to the car and transfer station. The overwhelming job of cleaning out a garage full of guy stuff and clutter makes me angry. I like not having to answer to anyone about household matters, but the deafening silence is maddening.

    All my kids live downstate and work and are raising children. Before we moved to the north our house was always full of kids, grand kids and friends.

    I know about volunteering. For the past three years I have been a medical first responder on our volunteer fire department . I am also a writer but have trouble getting around to it now.

    Going to the store and roaming around helps. But my cortisol levels are off the roof from years of stress. During the time my husband was in the hospital and for three months after his death I was in an out of the hospital myself with serious intestinal problems, and then surgery. I lost a lot of weight. Now I have very little interest in food, and take frequent naps. What I miss most is affection and companionship.

    Reply to Janet McDonald

    1. Dear Janet, I have struggled with an eating disorders and depression for over 30years. So I can relate to your situation. I lost 2 husbands because of my eating disorder/depression. Now I am alone. Very isolated, and find social situations very hard.

      Reply to Kristine Knowlton

    2. I am 50woman I am looking for companionship Perhaps a long term healthy relationship. I look very young for my age very attractive not to sound conceited. Educated masters. I must say in these days and times I do have trust issues expression Li with strange people meet and strange people but I know I have to come out of my confidence own and awarded to continue living my life I feel like I’m dying every day

      Reply to Dickson

      1. hello Dickson 50 yrs. old and probly look 30 i am 77 yrs.young could pass for 60 i have been told i don’t know where you live i live in Bentonville, AR. in the beautiful Ozark mounts.

      2. Hi Jackie Smith.

        I am 71 yrs young. I live in Glendale Az. for the past 6 months. Long Story how I got here, but 6 months ago I lived in a small beach town in N.C. My husband and I of 52 yrs. owned a beautiful home, and our surroundings were to die for. We lived there for 20 yrs. Before that we lived on L.I. New York for 30 yrs. When we retired, we moved to this beach town and built a house, and put 20 yrs. of hard work and love to make it what it was. We came to Arizona sight unseen to move closer to family. Our daughter lived in Arizona for 10 yrs. During most of those 10 yrs. we were not in communication. It was only months after we opened channels of communication that she felt we needed to be close to family. She was living hand to mouth, pay check to paycheck. She moved here for the love of her life, which was a disaster. She became pregnant after just months of living with this guy she moved to Arizona to be with. That relationship lasted 2 years. She now has a ten yr old son, and has shared custody with the father. She cannot leave the state because of her son. The boy has many issues and problems. She knew we had money, ( of which we were giving her thousands of dollars while communicating on the phone) and we were convinced that we should be near family. We bought a house, that was viewed on line. Big Mistake!!!! She and her son live in this house with us. What my life was once, is the complete opposite. I was against this drastic life changing move, but my husband too felt the pressure and was convinced, this was the right thing to do. I am so lonely. I have no reason to get up in the morning. This move did not have to happen. We prepared so well, financially to be able to be independent, and we gave it all up. What is the sense of having money. I am a very good 71 yr. old, and I too do not look my age. I have a very young mind, which I wish I didn’t have. None of our friends would believe how we are living, and neither do I. I wake up every morning in disbelief of what we did. I feel so hopeless. alone and trapped. Our daughter is in complete control of our lives. I try to think of a way to get our lives back, but I have too much going against me. So much more to this sad, sad journey. I need to talk and see if someone out there has experienced what I am living.

    4. Hello Janet
      I carefully read your posted info o. This site
      I’m 59 and live alone. My very unfortunate
      Is I was married to a female professional for two years.
      I do other her due to selfish angry behavior she was
      Never happy and the master manipulator I couldnt even take a phone cazll from my brother and or best friend at any time. Well I was silly enough to remain with her aunt FOUR months ago she tossed my aside nd no real cloture
      I could write for hours I know how you feel it’s no better for me. No motivation or care
      You are not alone. Mason

      ve slone

      Reply to Mason Peck