senior-women-friendship

Aging Alone Doesn’t Have to Mean Lonely

People confuse the word “alone” with lonely.

In a society where marriage has been held up as the ideal, they misunderstand how those who’ve never married, or who are widowed or divorced, experience living alone.

Will you still need me when I’m 84?

Loneliness is not tied to relationship status, and it’s a fallacy to assume that marriage or cohabitation is the solution. Ask anyone who’s been in an unhappy, non-communicative marriage. Eric Klinenberg, the author of “Going Solo,” a book about living alone, looks at the emergence of the one-person household as an increasingly preferred living choice.  “People who live alone do get lonely,” Klinenberg says, “but so do people in marriages.”

Younger people have made living alone a choice; in the under-65 demographic, 15 million live alone and many are actively choosing single lives, at the same time proving that the old equation between living alone and being unhappy no longer holds true. Younger singles are just as happy and healthy as younger people in committed relationships. But what about the 11 million seniors who are leading single lives? According to researchers, many older singles are not doing so well.

As we age, many of us start worrying what living alone will be like.  Who’ll help if I become ill? What if I feel lonely and isolated? We worry about maintaining social connections if we lose mobility. Those of us who sought a single life and chose not to remarry after a divorce or spouse’s death might find ourselves rethinking our priorities.

Should advancing age cause people like me who are single to rethink our status? Is it time to find a partner?

In an effort to quantify the feeling of loneliness – a sense of not having meaningful contact with others, accompanied by painful distress – geriatric specialists at the University of California, San Francisco, asked 1,604 adults age 60 and older how often they felt isolated or left out, or lacked companionship. Sixty-two percent of those who reported being lonely were married.  (Click here to read more about the study.)

Maybe what we need as we plan for old age is to expand our social connections and interactions – not look for a husband.

Words – and More – With Friends

We long for meaningful relationships and social connections. That may be why increasing numbers of older people are turning to online dating sites, which offer a way to connect with others and make new friends, even if they don’t deliver a life partner.

There are other ways to connect and grow our social circles, too. Facebook is a great place to chat, keep up with friends’ activities and even play games with them, like the popular game Word with Friends. Some websites offer forums and chat rooms that encourage users to interact with others. Online friendships can supplement real life relationships.

We need social interactions and people in our lives who care about us, but living alone doesn’t always lead to loneliness, just as living with others is no guarantee of happiness. We can maintain our independent lifestyles as we age and build strong social connections at the same time.

804 comments
  • Janet McDonald
    REPLY

    I lost my second husband of 20 years this summer. He was a big man with a big heart . The last ten years were painful and lonely as he gave in to an eating disorder and depression. No different than any addiction. It takes a toll on loved ones. My first marriage was 27 years long, resulted in five children, and was filled with a combination of alternating affection and verbal abuse.

    I understand depression. It has been with me a long time. I have a bachelors in counseling, and just short of a masters in gerontology. But what has overtaken me in the past few months is nearly debilitating. It is not mental. I stay in my pajamas all day. Some days I get a burst of motivation and throw myself into continuing the job of clearing out all my husband’s clutter. I need help getting it all to the car and transfer station. The overwhelming job of cleaning out a garage full of guy stuff and clutter makes me angry. I like not having to answer to anyone about household matters, but the deafening silence is maddening.

    All my kids live downstate and work and are raising children. Before we moved to the north our house was always full of kids, grand kids and friends.

    I know about volunteering. For the past three years I have been a medical first responder on our volunteer fire department . I am also a writer but have trouble getting around to it now.

    Going to the store and roaming around helps. But my cortisol levels are off the roof from years of stress. During the time my husband was in the hospital and for three months after his death I was in an out of the hospital myself with serious intestinal problems, and then surgery. I lost a lot of weight. Now I have very little interest in food, and take frequent naps. What I miss most is affection and companionship.

  • Olivia Bettinger
    REPLY

    Hi everyone. I am a 55 year old woman who is baffled by all these comments. I have no health issues of any kind and still attractive enough to turn heads from younger men. I believe that attitude is essential when it comes to aging. I had a business once in an area where all the women over 40 complained about the inevitability of the pitfalls of aging. I closed shop and got out of there super fast. This is a toxic mentality that sooner than later becomes contagious. I am so tired of hearing how some people are “just lucky” to age better than others. In my youth I overcame serious illnesses I learned to heal myself through research of many modalities such as Qigong and diet. Ladies, there are ways to keep yourself up physically and yes sometimes as the years pass you have to do things a little more extreme with diet, etc. As for the social aspect of aging, I would suggest to always engage outwardly for example taking classes,, etc. Also from a romantic perspective let me say that my aunt married her last husband, a multi millionaire, at the age of 72. So you see, aging is not the end of the world for women anymore than it is for men.

  • susan king
    REPLY

    I am 57 yrs old with an mind of an 18 yr old. Have been through a lot in the last 10 yrs. Am living with my 22 yr old son in an apt for the past yr and a half. He now wants to move on and get an apt with his gf. I am low income and have nowhere to go. I am so alone. My 2 kids are trying to look for a place to dump their mom. I have nothing left to live for. They are the only family I have and I feel like my life is over now. I do not like being alone,yet I will never live with strangers again. I was just starting to feel safe until my daughter got an apt with her guy.My son thought about it and now wants to live with his gf. Which leaves mom out. After all the yrs I raised my kids and sacrificed everything,I am now at a dead end. Literally. The feeling of dread is with me everyday. This became a thing the day after Thanksgiving when my daughter visited us and it seems both of them got to talking.All of a sudden there is my daughter on her phone looking for places to put me. Seriously? I love the outdoors hunting and fishing,animals, classic cars,camping, and traveling. I have so much to give, yet I feel like I am wasting air. It is sad that a person can feel worthless and who has to worry about where she fits in the world. Oh, I’m sure if I won the lottery or had money coming in continuously, it wouldn’t be so bad. But now, I feel I am done. It is a harsh world for people who are about to be left out.

    • Noelle
      REPLY

      I get it I’m 68 and have been here taking care of my now 94 yr old mother that was a harsh brutal mother to us 4 children I was the black sheep and the only reason I’m here is to take care of mother and I have no place to go but there is live in work which helped me in the past or at least til you get on your feet there are also a couple of places up north to live in a hippy commune and then there is Coolworks.com where you can get a job in a resort setting some have live in facilities and then you can get a small camper or learn to live in your car until something pans out but the live in job is what’s helped me and advertise ….. you get room and board 1-2 days off start socking the money in a bank good luck

    • Sandy
      REPLY

      Hi Susan,
      When reading your story I felt a kind of kinship with you, although I have no children. I’m not sure which is worse, having children who make you feel unwanted and unloved or having no one who is supposed to love you.
      I too am 57 yrs old and low income. I have no siblings and my parents are in poor health and live 5 hrs away. I am living with a man whom I do not love as a husband or even a boyfriend. The past 11 years have been very rough for me, my “boyfriend” had a major heart attack and now is on Disability. It has been rough for him as well but I feel that I do not exist anymore. His needs have always come before mine and now more than ever.
      I work a full time low paying job and live in a 40 year old mobile home which used to be his mothers, so I too am struggling with depression and feel like I am stuck in my situation. I cannot abandon him because I would not want anyone to do that to me.
      So what do we do with ourselves?
      I’m not a very religious person but I do believe in God and am trying to leave it all in his hands and praying that my future will not be as bad as my present. I feel that’s all I can do.
      I will pray for you as well, hang in there! Hopefully everything will turn around for both of us real soon.

    • Richard
      REPLY

      Hi Susan,
      Saw your letter on Senior Planet. I’m feeling for you, believe me. I’ve just lost my wife Nov. 16th of this year and am still in disbelief but trying to return to my routine. Thankfully I have 2 wonderful daughters who are watching out for me continually. It’s hard for me to understand your children treating you that way.
      Feel free to write me if you’d like. I would like to know how you are doing.
      By the way I’m not young but I don’t feel 73 and I’m in good health and enjoy my life.
      Sincerely, Richard

    • Jeni
      REPLY

      I agree. Holidays can be difficult to get through. When you’re an empty nester and feeling all alone such as myself. It would be nice to have someone to talk to and possibly go places. I am 59 years old and still working a full-time job. I find it very challenging to meet others.

      I live in Illinois, outside of Chicago.

      Jeni

      • Nany
        REPLY

        Hi Jeni
        I am 72 also live in Illinois Trying to decide what I want to do with my life to. I have my Dads house which I am working on to sell Not sure what I want to do . Have a hard time meeting others also .
        You say you are outside of Chicago . Is that north or south I live
        Lake Summerset
        A lot of people from Chicago have second homes here or retired here.

      • Debbie Knaack
        REPLY

        Hi Jeni,

        I am 56 years ole with no children and also live south of Chicago, I know how you feel and the holidays make it even worse. If you’d like to meetup and make some plans, please reply. Deb

  • Mary
    REPLY

    Hello,
    I am 55 year old women and I have Hashimotoes knee arthritis and I tore my meniscus a few years ago, due to all of this I don’t leave my apt. much except for medical appointments.

    I am look for people who would like to talk on the phone, emails and messages take too much time.

    I have a daughter I’m estranged from and trapped in a horibly neglectful marriage.

    I live in a borough of NY and hoping to move upstate soon.

    Reach out if you would like friendly companionship.

    • Susan Mickel
      REPLY

      Hi Mary: I would love to be in contact with you. I am sorry about your marriage. I had one like that. My daughter is also estranged off and on. I have a son who I am in contact with several times a week. I am 65, single and live alone and get lonely, too.
      Susan

    • Andrea
      REPLY

      Hi, my name is Andrea. I live on Long Island in Nassau county. I too am in estranged relationships with 2 out of my 3 girls. However, I have an empty nest life and in a very estranged marriage. I am very lonely and looking for people to become friends with and just talk. I am so alone. I don’t know where you live but I hope you see this letter and just maybe we can become great friends. By the way I am 63 yrs. old. That might be too old for you but I can still relate. Hope to hear from you soon. From, Andrea Brown. I’m

        • Elizabeth J. De Luca
          REPLY

          Ok ladies. I’m 60 years young. My husband in a nursing home since 2009. I’m not interested in dating. I was in live but I’ve been grieving him ever since his diagnosis in 1988. We married in 1981. Had our son in 1984 had our daughter 1988. In 1992 my husband. Old no longer do his own adl’s , I was his sole caregiver and I was the financial provider to my now adult , married, successful children. In 2004 i I was found to have a rare cancerous disease( a genetic issue on the part of one of the biological donors my mother slept with turns out the other kids were fine. I’m estranged from my small family my mothers preference. Turns out 2004 had me in sloan for two surgeries my son then 20 in 2005 had his surgeries he has the same thing and then my daughter then 17 surgeries in 2006 . I
          2007 husband had a heart attack while stair skating and we kept taking care of him at home. He learned to do life all over again but now the dementia from chronic progressive Multiple Sclerosis was so controlling. I couldn’t ask my daughter for the help he needed n my son well too much. The ostrich left. Both kids incredibly married n both my children are extremely successful. They have their own friends, watch their health n keep all their appointments with the life long mists at sloan Kettering n.y c. Yes; we laugh, we’re grateful! I did several years with chemo it doesn’t help. So I have a central pic li e because I gave up the port after an infection with my port. It was an infection I could do nothing about . It came from my body disliking the Hubert needle. So life has been a tad rough. I worked until 2 years ago. That’s when Mayo in Rochester Minnesota accidentally perforated my only left small intestine. Yes my daughter was told I wasn’t going to survive yet I did. I can’t work I have an 8 hour hydration infusion 7 days a week to stay alive. My ileostomy from my mayo surgery requires the help of htdration. Talk about a drag. My kids successful married and happy with something I lost while a caregiver and mom: FRIENDS and get this mantra are their colleagues close to my age. However I’m told u need to find my own friends! I did parenting correct, they are independent, happy despite it all. All of our lives have been invaded by illness that came as unwanted visitors to over stay their visits to our bodies. We move forward. I’ve done it all. What I’ve been in sear h of is friendship. I’m not interested in inserting myself into any male persons life. I’m interested in friendships to last my lifetime, to laugh, have fun, shop, talk, just be real. I don’t dabble in social media as I found it to be more detrimental than positive for me. Either there is too much coupling, family happy together( I dont have) friends that out did me with success, timeshares, early retirement ( women look at me as a threat) really. I can’t believe it myself. The others I can’t keep up with their lifestyle so they left me. I’m funny as hell given a chance, creative and just want to live life not exist. So if you have room on your friendship list I live on the East End of Long Island. For Christmas I would live a friend or friends to talk . I feel like I’m on an isolated island. How could this happen ? There are so many people in this world and I’m friendly it’s just not enough. Also, I’m told I look younger than my years. My heart feels high spirited n happy when I dont feel so alone. Mt daughter doesn’t have time for me between marriage, her life, her friends her career, her home, her husband( not in that order) I’ve tried various meetups but the ones I’m interested in for friendship state on line their “meet ups ” are full. Their membership three people. Seriously? I’m not in favor of traveling to n.y.c. it’s just not me, I don’t want to hang out at fast food joints. Other than that I’m an open book. No mysteries. My only con tact now is a phone conversation weekly with a woman , 80 yrs. Old who won’t leave her home. She has no interest .she has a gaggle of grandchildren and growing numbers of great grandchildren. My children can’t have their own children. So no grandchildren for me. I wish for grown up friendships without it being my daughter who is too busy. So if you like keep me in mind

  • Suzanne M
    REPLY

    I am in a small town in NE Ohio. Would love to meet people my age. I am a 62 yr old woman who keeps myself up, church goer, love the outdoors, love animals especially my dogs, like fishing, camping, yard stuff. I have had a crappy adult life. Never have known what real love is like as I never had a good marriage or a good relationship with a good man. I was adopted too so I have never felt like I belonged anywhere. I moved here to be closer to my kids but rarely hear from them. I have no friends here except for my church family. Nothing here for people to socialize. There is a senior center but they are way older than me and all know each other.

    • Eva
      REPLY

      I read thousands and ten-thousands of comments from people who are very sad to be alone yet none of them has been trying to contact the others to form a group and move to another town together and live in the same building or neighbourhood. Lets discuss our needs and capabilities, find a place and a life style that will be suitable to everyone in the group and work towards to realize it. Living in another country can be a good option also.

      Okay, I go first and give you an email address that I can discard if I get replies from some sick people, its worth to try:
      hkcomeandgo@gmail.com

      I am a female senior, divorced and living alone. Absolutely no romantic connections.

      hk

    • Patti
      REPLY

      Hi, I’m a 55 yr old woman never married no kids and a medical professional. On paper probably look great. I make friends easily but through rhenyears treachery or something losing contact has. Lost them alll. I have no one to call when I need to talk. Prove a is huge part of,it. Fear is a huge Part or it. HwT to do ina few years a.one and a woman whose no real physically strong living in the middle of nowhere. Not to mention I’m an lonely and depressed and anxious as a person can be. Modern medicine has been a joke.

      Is this it ? I’m so scared and my 2orst nightmare actually happened. I’m your 20 and 30’s you know deep down you still,have a chance , I feel my chances are gone. Huge student loans. Renting so no paid off mortgGe as I should have.

      I’m so damn lost. To meet me you’d never know it..

      My dog of 8 years just died a long sad dec.ine with demetia.

      I Can’t seem to get interested or focused enough to really build some hobbies but flowers did help this summer but now it’s grey for the next 8.months in upstate ny.

      No baby (my dog). Nothing to hold my interest . Menopause brain.

      I’m no good for the online thing. These men see me coming a mile away plus I am in too bad of shape to even think about it.

      I feel us women who are mostly normal with major issues and over 50 are screwed.

      Thank you for listening. I am ,ost and da. Near ending it

      • Adrienne
        REPLY

        Patti, I’m certainly almost exactly in your shoes. I am retired medical professional. After leaving work and my babies (2 kitties) I have no family n or friends. Differently, I married nine years ago. Think I was looking not to be alone n have a partner later in life. To my surprise two years in I found out he’d fooled me and is adult Asperger’s autism. It’s horrible of horrible. He had health issues and of course I jumped in. That became my life, an extension of work, getting his health issues resolved. I was so busy even after autistic diagnosis, getting his health fixed I paid no attention to losing my life, friends, hobbies and activities I enjoyed. There’s too much of that except to say I was his primary caregiver and many said that’s why he married me…He never was a partner as I wanted in marriage and financially after retiring early, I need his income to stay in my house until I can sell it and then move n separate. He’s told me he’s going with me because he’s got nobody… well life has gone to nothing. For a while I went to a church I loved but he hated how close they were and we went to another place. There I never had friends n no resource info. I’ve settled into doing nothing almost daily except think how can I find myself again or should I. Depression n anxiety drive me further into isolation. A therapist had me join group at senior center but those folks aren’t me. I have nobody to call n talk for real. I used to love cooking but that became a burden cause he’s out of control n eats all in sight yet doesn’t cook or know how. I got hurt bringing n groceries last May cause too heavy fir him n him so so slow. Surgery to fix my quad tear started even more down spiral. He just went completely far out that I get nothing. He’s ruined my house I had 36 yrs before him immaculately. He complains about money cause no paychecks from work but refuses get part-time job. I did go back for a while but coming home to him ended that. There’s so much I don’t want to bore you. I just want you to know you’re not alone n spirit. To me having spiritual life is great yet I need contact n socialization I had easily before. Finally I tried a senior community n was told too expensive and I’m too young fir most….I’m lost now n dejected. Live on East coast near Washington DC. Don’t know how to connect if you’d want since this is public site. Perhaps if we reply again I’ll share email if you ok w that. Reading your info helps I still know need to do something as well as talk.

        Adrienne

      • Catherine
        REPLY

        Hi Patti. I can very much identify with your note. I am 63, have had some spine issues and very limited in my activities. Before this happened about 7 years ago I was traveling as a RN consultant in the medical field, I had a big circle of friends, children who loved and respected me, grandchildren, and a husband. Since my medical issues began I’ve not been able to do the things I used to, and my friends drifted away until there was no one left. They all loved me when I was entertaining, and when I was down – they lost interest in me as if I were bringing something negative to their lives because I had to spend so much time at home or in bed.

        My children used to think i was smart and contemporary, and I was always doing nice things for them like help them with money issues, babysitting, and making family dinners. Once I became unable to offer them anything, they began to treat me in a condescending manner, acting like my texts or calls were a bother and they just were gone as I had nothing to offer. Now they respond to anything I say like I am ridiculous, roll their eyes, tell me they do t have time for me, and say hateful things as if they are annoyed that I bother them. I’m amgry about that. They have take been happy to take all my money, but now that I have no money and can’t stand up long enough to make a meal. For thanksgiving coming up they are al coming to my house. I’ve told them it’s very hard for me to make a meal and that I can’t stand up for long, and not one of them offered to bring a dish, but they are bringing their families. I feel used. They talk about me like I’m a fool, often to my face, and they call only when they need something. They ask me to babysit even though, even though I can’t handle it for any length of time. They are very rude and condescending and disrespecful. If i say anything about their behavior I just get hateful responses.

        I have a husband, but he barely speaks to me and when he does, he says the same three sentences every day, has began making all the decisions without my input. He travels every week and takes female coworker out for meals and flirts, but of course lies to me, and for some reason I’m always made to feel like the jerk if I say anything about his lack of interest in me.

        Overall, it’s been very hurtful to discover I don’t have anyone who loves me enough to Include me in their lives when I have nothing to offer. Like you, I sometimes just want to end it. Am falling asleep but would love to know if you could use a pen pal. Maybe we could be that and help each other out. I’m going to send this before I fall asleep, but let me know if you’d like to write. Take care. Hope we can communicate and give each other someone to talk to. Take care, hope to talk soon.

    • Rodney
      REPLY

      I’m a recent widower myself – Lost her to Alzheimer 2 years ago and I feel strong enough to make one or two contacts out there.
      I’m Rodney Sulch, from Chiswick Illinois (born and raised) but moved to Canada for work (with the NATO organization). I’m flexible and won’t mind relocating for the right One.
      I’m just a traditional laid-back guy seeking He’s Other Half. A great Companion can sure be priceless.

    • Karen
      REPLY

      I am a female and turning 62 in a few months. I have no family/friends anymore and feeling more alone than I have ever felt before. I wouldn’t mind finding some penpals/phone/text buddies. If interested in becoming friends please let me know!!!

    • Beth
      REPLY

      Hi
      I live in Ontario, Canada and oh my I can so relate..I live in a very neglected marriage..in fact I have been living like this for years.
      I have two beautiful little grandchildren..
      I would very much like to meet people who also can relate and perhaps live close enough to meet for coffee.
      I’m 72..and so much lack attention..some compassion and just pure friendship.
      If you wish to contact me
      My name is Beth

      • Linda
        REPLY

        So sorry for your loss. It surely magnifies the holiday blues. It makes me sad to see so many of us as we get older feel so alone. We all have a story but yet so many are similar. Holidays are very tough for me. As our children grow up they live in a me world. I hope my grand children do not hurt my own daughter as much as she has hurt me by shutting me out of her life. It would help to know what she shut me out for but I believe she is just unhappy her self and takes it out on me. I seem to have a good life on the outside but it is very lonely on the inside. Come on January help me get through this. Living in Florida should be wonderful but yet it’s so lonely.

    • Randy
      REPLY

      I no the feeling im 62. Looken too meet a nice lady.im from ohio also i enjoy being.with. my.grandkids and my daughter and i also.enjoy the things u do i been divorce from my ex wife 2 year’s. Now. I know the feeling of being alone if it wasn’t for my grandkids i dont know what i would.do.im on.facebook if.u.would like too talk.

    • Trina
      REPLY

      Hi, I read your profile. I’m a lonely married for 23 years female seeking friendship. I just want a friend whom I can vent to from time to time and will not use my kindheart. I’m from Charlotte, NC and just seeking a honest loyal friendship.

    • MARY BRIGGS
      REPLY

      HELLO WHERE IN OHIO DO YOU LIVE? I AM IN HEARTVILLE OH> I ALSO LIVE ALONE. I TRY TO STAY BUSY BUT I STILL FEEL ISOLATED IF I DO NOT GO OUT MOST EVERY DAY. I LIKE TO HAVE SOMETHING DO TO KEEP ME BUSY. NOT UNHAPPY BUT WISH MY LIFE HAD MORE MEANING.

    • Anne B Baxter
      REPLY

      Hi, Anne I live in NW Arkansas–moved here alone sight unseen–lovely place to live but I find it hard to meet people. I am single, never married and no kids and I live alone. I have long term issues from a serious car accident and I am not as mobile as a lot of people my age. Basically estranged from all my brothers and sisters except for one brother and all my life long friends fell away due to moving, alcoholism ,whatever. Sometimes I feel I am drifting in outer space with no gravity. I have lots of hobbies and I can spend lots of time alone happily but do long for deep connections. I do have two friends here that I feel good about but want a wider network and it seems many come for a while and then don’t work out

    • Lorraine L Ekholm
      REPLY

      I am going to be 65 in a few weeks. I have been disabled since I was 52 I am alone. a widow who had no children. I am alone, lonely , broken, sad and broke. I live pay check to pay check. I long to live some where a lot warmer than Michigan. I have been around death a lot in my life and taken care of four of my own family. Now I am afraid that I will die alone. What do I do?
      ..

      • Jesse cox
        REPLY

        Sorry about all your pain and losses I lost my first wife and went back home to take care of my mother for 18 years just lost her thus year 91 years old got married again last year lasted one year she left me .I’m in tenn trying to get back to Florida I’m 72 years old,would love to chat with you do you have a Facebook or e mail

  • Rachel McAlpine
    REPLY

    You may be interested in the results of an Older Bloggers Survey—I was. The friendships and social life in the world of older bloggers was their second most important reason for blogging, and was mentioned again and again in their comments. They may be virtual friendships but they are powerful and positive. Older people (like myself) seem to find blogging far more comfortable than other social media networks such as those on Facebook or Twitter or Pinterest. Lots of discussion here, if I’m permitted to include a link: https://writeintolife.com/the-older-bloggers-survey-2018/

  • Buck Eyecreek
    REPLY

    All the lonely people. I need a new city or town to live out my senior years. Los Angeles and all California are too expensive for me now, even though I was born and raised here. I will have to leave all the past I know and start over. Are you living somewhere you love that is welcoming to new comers who are no longer young? Any suggestions for me? Thank you friends.

      • Sherry KNEPPER
        REPLY

        Gena….btw, I spent a few months in a mobile home park on the main road in Alamogordo in the 1970’s. As you said, it was low cost and low crime and didn’t see any snakes or scorpions as I was warned about. :)

    • Sherry KNEPPER
      REPLY

      Buck Eyecreek, , I’ve actually been considering CA as I’m in need of cosmetic procedures and the best doctors for me all seem to be there. However, for now exploring the DE shore areas and want to meet fellow unlimited life extensionists there or considering spending any future time there.

    • Jackie Smith
      REPLY

      hello lonely lady i am a lonely widower living in a wonderful town in Arkansas in the beautiful Ozark mounts i am a very nice looking 77 yrs. young man i have a beautiful home big. you will love it hear i think i plan to be married in January but you will be welcome in my home until we can find you a place to live that you will like Jackie Smith Bentonville, Arkansas home of wall mart.

    • Su
      REPLY

      Hello, when I sell my house in rural Michigan I will move to Greensboro NC and have an apartment. It is not particularly expensive and there is a lot to do there. i am passing along my plan in case it suggests something to you as well.

    • martha
      REPLY

      Hello Yvonne where do you live? I am 62 years old, living in Miami. I don’t know but lately I am feeling so lonely and alone.
      very worry. sometimes I need someone to talk.

      I would like to hear from you again.

      Martha T

      Hi Buck: Check Miami area, you may love this city if you love the sunshine and the ocean.
      If you look on Collins avenue or Ocean Drive in Miami is very expensive but you can find Comdominiuns in the same
      area one block distance to the beach with very good prices.
      I love Miami, I live nearby. I am 62 years old and still working. By the way, I am not a realtor.

      MT

  • yvonne wuamett
    REPLY

    Hi
    I live alone in Portland , I moved here a year ago to be close to my son who promptly moved away.
    I have no one and I do get very lonely. My dog died 4 months ago, I keep busy but there are times when I just long for company. Im 73 and being old happened so fast
    Yvonne

  • Margaret
    REPLY

    Hi, I’m 60 years old with a 16 yr old only child! Moved out of NYC after retiring 5 yrs ago. I live in Fayetteville NC now. Worked as a teacher for 31 years and I am a single Mom. Obviously my child is now at an age of impending independence, so I have been on the lonely side of things. I don’t know if I’m looking for a relationship so much as friendship with a guy. Definitely not looking for marriage! Dating sites are awkward as you don’t write in your profile “ love long walks , but oh yeah, can’t really do it anymore.” Physical limitations catch up with us all, some sooner than others. But I still like to vacation, go out, etc. Just “with who? ” is the issue.
    If you’re close by and want to meet for coffee, let me know.

  • Debbie
    REPLY

    I’m 64. I have health issues so that I’m not always able to be out and about. If I go grocery shopping once a week it’s a big deal. Sometimes I can manage to go to the movies but it’s just not the same going alone. I try to keep my mind sharp; I’m an avid reader, a writer and a beta reader. I have online friends, but nothing replaces being able to actually be with someone and hear their voice and look into their eyes, and have a good laugh together.

    I feel pathetic at times because loneliness strikes randomly. I’m not sure where to go from here. I can’t do more than what I’m doing now, physically. So how do I meet people?

    • Ann Garrard
      REPLY

      Hi Debbie
      I’m almost 68 years old I’ve lost my husband recently. We had been married for 46 years. I have two children and three grandchildren but they don’t bother very much( I’ve only seen my son once this year.
      Everything I need to do is overwhelmingly difficult because I too struggle with a chronic back problem.
      Iwould love to be able to talk to y more if that’s what you want. Not sure who can see this so don’t knohow to go about this.
      Anyway it’s even nice to share a little bit.
      Hope you will maybe talk to me again.
      I enjoy reading and talking on phone to friends and going out as much as I am able.
      I hope we can speak again
      Ann

      • Shirley Fogge Piazza
        REPLY

        Ann,
        I currently, perhaps temporarily, live in West Palm Beach, FL. My husband left and lives with another woman .

        I seem to have so much in common with Debbie and you.
        It would be nice to speak.
        Shirley Piazza

        • Donna
          REPLY

          I’m 62 and live in Port St. Lucie Florida. My grown children moved out of state. My husband works very long hours and I’m so lonely too. Can’t afford to retire yet. We moved to a new neighborhood months ago and everyone keeps to themselves and it’s so quiet. I’m going out of my mind daily trying to figure out how to get out of here.

          • Alice Rey

            Please list places to live that are great to live for seniors. I need to be in a place where people are friendly, good medical care, public transpoetation

      • Sherry
        REPLY

        Hi Ann Garrard and everyone! Hope you all are hanging in there. I too am very disabled from a orthopedic spine problem. but am able to exercise, sit a little, stand a little if I don’t stand still and can sometimes walk over 30 minutes, IF I haven’t strained my back lately. Looking forward to the anti-aging stuff that’s now in the experimental stages. It may be able to help with our back and many other problems with aging. You know what they’re saying?! — that almost all diseases and conditions are caused by aging — some even before we’re born! I’m sure a lot of you guys have heard of telomeres, an aging marker. They say we all lose 1/3 of them when we’re born! So the anti aging may help children and the unborn.

      • Gina
        REPLY

        Hi Debbie,

        I am 64 and struggle with back problems and a scoliosis also. I would like to meet someone and get married again but I find men do not want to marry again.
        Anyone have any ideas I live in WI…

        Gina

    • Gracie
      REPLY

      Hi, I am 73 years old and am divorced after 28 years being marriage. I lost a lot due to divorce and getting ripped off by contractors who were supposed to fix a home I purchased. I don’t have much money. He got most of our things. I am now living in the state I was divorced in, which is the same state we were married in. I left him and filed for divorce five years ago. I am now regretting the divorce. We still talk, but he says he doesn’t want us to be a couple again. I have no family for friends here, I have only been back here for one month. I am so lonely I can hardly stand it. I can’t get pass leaving him and filing for divorce. I want him back, but don’t think that will happen. I live in Henderson Nevada and need to find some sort of help. Maybe a good friend also. Anyone have any ideas?

      • Sherry
        REPLY

        Gracie, I’m not anywhere near Nevada, but if you can get to the point where you don’t want to be with a guy who doesn’t want to be with you, it may help but I don’t know why he doesn’t want to be with you so I’m kind of lost when it comes to helping with this issue. As for just being alone, if you’ve seen my other posts on here, you know I hate the idea of being alone, especially living alone.

      • susan
        REPLY

        Gracie don’t regret the divorce. I am sure you had good reasons at the time. Being alone at an older age is hard well after a divorce it is hard at any age. I think sometimes it is easier to look back at the relationship and try to gleam something good in it than to hope for the possibility of a good relationship in the future.

        Being an older women is not for the weak. With the ratio of women to men being uneven as we age I think we have the right to be concerned but not necessarily hopeless. There is a site called Meetup. It is not a singles site but an interest site where people can get together and do things like movies, crafting whatever. There is not cost to sign up other than what the event might cost. They have groups all over the world. I go to a couple different groups.

    • Jamie lee
      REPLY

      That’s how my children treat me to after my husband passed away in2013! I have no one plus I never learned to drive so I go out once a month to get meds and food! I am looking for friends to talk to and smile with I have not smiled in years

      • Pat Gabel
        REPLY

        I am 78. And alone. Ex with another woman. 54 yr old daughter living w me now. But with her work I get left far behind. I have serious back pain and frontal lobe brain atrophy. I am purely miserable. Hardly can go out much. Discouraged. Guess all I have is God. /Pat

      • Carolyn
        REPLY

        Hi, I am sorry for the loss of your husband. My mama never got a license until her hubby passed, she got car and licenses after 50

        • Jamie lee
          REPLY

          I’m not sure if we’re replying to me or not! I was in a car accident when I was 16 when I get in the driver’s seat of a car all I see is the red 18 wheeler coming at us, I wasn’t the driver! And I see the jaws of life cutting me out of the car. At 55 I have never forgot those images I don’t like to ride sometimes and with new drivers and people it’s not a safe feeling at all!?

      • Rebecca Litton
        REPLY

        I am also in need of people to have conservations with – I’m widowed and elderly – in good health, active – still drive but just live alone and only have TV for companion – not interested in dating – just a friend

        • Jamie lee
          REPLY

          I need someone like you in my life! I’m 55 widow and can’t do much after having 2 back surgeries and 2 neck surgeries! I need a friend! I’m miserable liveing with my sister how verbally abused me all the time.

    • Debi
      REPLY

      Hi all,
      I’m a 58 year old woman who lives alone in N.Y. I have been divorced for many years. I have tried different dating sites, but nothing has worked out for me. I’m wondering if there are men and women who live close by who would like to get together for coffee, lunch, whatever. Thanks

      • Lisa
        REPLY

        Hi Debi – I’m in my 60’s and recently retired. I have 2 children, but do not see them often – though they live in the state. I live on Long Island. Where in NY are you? If fairly local, I’d like to meet for cup of coffee or lunch. What do you say? I am looking to make new friends – it’s very hard to make friends at this age – btw I have been divorced for over 10 yrs so I am single.

        • Carrie A. Necas
          REPLY

          Hi Lisa…….Im on Long Island also, Im 63 and divorced now for 12 years. I hate living alone. I have 2 daughters and thats about it. Im at a point in my life where I feel stuck and dont know what to do . Im feeling depressed about everything in my life. If you want to meet up for lunch etc …. let me know. Im in Suffolk co. :) Carrie

      • Maureen
        REPLY

        Hi I’m in NYC and NJ but stuck up in the boonies near Cornell U in Ithaca. I’m trying to sell my house to get back to civilization down the shore. I haven’t had good pizza in 10 years. My husband left me and my mother was buried yesterday. I have never been so scared. My rescue dogs, cat & turtle keep me alive.

        • Just Sue
          REPLY

          Hello Maureen, I am 54 in phx az. My 1st time on this site or any site announcing the emptiness inside. I didn’t say how old you were but all the same I’m sorry you lost your mom. Has been over 18 years and I still wake myself up at night shouting for her. But what really caught me about your comments but the fact that the dogs cat Turtle keep you going ever me also is my dog three cats that adopted me and my hundred fifty pound tortoise who has is on the fork to eat with yes I said Fork then he doesn’t pick it up he expect you to hand it to him. As I sit here right now my little dog he’s been having a hard time breathing for 3 days now the vet on Friday take him some antibiotics it’s only come back in a week but I couldn’t wait a week cuz he’s breathing like 90 breath in a minute. It took him back in today we did blood work some of the test will be back tomorrow. The vet thinking valley fever I’m thinking congestive heart failure but I’m hoping not these tests were mainly roll out valley fever and tick fever. But I just had to get back with you but I was reading and saw that the cats and the dogs and turtle keep you going. But hey you’re from New York-New Jersey area you’re tough a bit and you’ll be okay

          • Jean

            Sue – Is your dog okay ? I so hope so as I know I panic every time my little angel coughs or throws up or something. I pray your little friend is all right.
            So funny about your huge tortoise !! And I thought I was weird having guinea pigs – I love the way they “Wheeek, wheeek,” at me ( but only if I wait too long to feed them.)

        • Jean
          REPLY

          I’m sorry for the loss of your Mom – it is like no other loss. I, too, have just my sweet dog and two funny guinea pigs for company and find they are more attentive to me than most people have ever been – unfortunate state of the world today !

        • Sherry Von
          REPLY

          This I think is for Maureen. Don’t understand my computer. Writing to say I fear losing my husband and mother every day. We are all disabled to some extent, all in different ways. None of us are able to do much physical work. I’m probably the healthiest of the 3 of us. Mom and my husband are not actually ill but husband says he has no energy due to fatty liver and he’s hunched over and won’t go to a doctor to find out why. He does need a shoulder replacement, which he doesn’t want to get and I doubt it’s a matter of life and death. Mom is in good shape for her age, as she looks very young for her age (she had a little cosmetic surgery many years ago), and drives a Ford Expedition, which takes some strength to get in and out of. But any time, there could be bad news and I worry. We are all life-extensionists but we are not all that disciplined with the lifestyle. (Look up “longevity escape velocity” for more about life extension.) AND do far there is NO real anti-aging available! I have no children, no siblings, no local family, no local friends, just a small family in South Carolina, who I see yearly, and just a clan on father’s side who I talk with but haven’t seen since the 1980’s. I do not drive and don’t want to. Maybe I will never need to because self driving vehicles may be available in a few years. Again, scared every day. My goal is to have a community home for life extensionists, which of course would be a very positive environment, or at least have extra positivism because everyone believes anything is possible nowadays with life extension. Right now I’m in Pennsylvania but hoping to move to either Myrtle Beach or Charleston, SC asap. I do not want to live alone because all my loved ones died off!

          • Nicole

            Hi Sherry,

            My name is Nicole I live in Greenville S.C.I am 38 year old woman with a beautiful 3 year old daughter. I realize I am not a senior obviously but I too am very lonely. I am an only child with no real family or support system either only a young child who depends on me. I am in a very bad marriage of 6 years. I have been a stay at home mom since she was born and I just recently went back to work part time. I was forced to leave home young and made my living in the restaurant industry so that is what I went back to. I am very scared because I don’t have the means to support my child on my own and leave my husband unless I work 2 jobs to keep afloat which obviously leaves my young daughter in the lurch. I had planned on just sucking it up and staying with my husband despite his sexual dysfunction and emotional abuse. So that I could home school my child and educate with good Christian values and the idea of throwing her in public schools these days terrifies me I am sure being from your generation you can understand why. Unfortunately I now realize that to be impossible as I am married to a man who does not behave in a Christian way at all which I imagine will make it very hard to achieve that.
            A few months ago I suffered a violent miscarriage that lasted for about 3 months. During that time my husband began cheating, drinking excessively, all while continuing to verbally and emotionally abuse me. Now he threatens me every day with leaving me and my child homeless and says he doesn’t care what happens to either of us. Last night was the worst he tried to find his gun which I hid threating to kill himself while my child was scared and crying. At a minimum I could use someone to talk to. But my ultimate goal here is to find someone who needs companionship, help around the house, and someone to ultimately take care of them in the twilight of their life so they won’t have to face being alone sick and forgotten with no one to care for them. In exchange I am looking for companionship, hopefully blooming into a surrogate mother daughter type of situation, and a home that is safe, calm, and godly to allow me and my daughter a safe haven while I find a way to support us without working 80 hours a week. I am saving up the money to get my real estate license but even after I get it will take me a year or two to become financially solvent enough for us to live alone. I am not looking for a sitter for her I have that worked out. I just need a safe, secure, home environment for us both. Also I am not interested in dating or anything of the kind just raising my daughter so no worries of strange people coming around etc. I don’t drink, I am clean, responsible, and kind. My mother is still living but doesn’t offer much in the way of emotional support and won’t allow us to stay with her even for a little while so I can get on my feet financially I have begged and the answer is still no.
            Maybe we could chat and learn more about each other. Perhaps if we found we would be good companions we could help one another of a bad situation.

      • Grace
        REPLY

        Hi Debi,

        Like you and many others, I’ve realized that I should develop new relationships with other mature singles, who live within, at least, driving distance of where I am located (NYC) and have some common interests. I’m single, live in and work in NYC, don’t smoke nor drink alcohol [just my personal preference], and prefer being outdoors. After reading your post and those of others women on this site, who live in/near NYC, I thought to propose a casual meetup. You and anyone other woman, who is looking to meet new potential friends in the NYC area – let’s meet me at Central Park this Saturday (July 14th) at Noon. For our first ‘new friend’ meetup, let’s keep it to women only then we can decide way-forward after we meet. Right now, you can’t miss me as I have a boot cast and crutches – these are temporary due to an accident. Normally, I’m very active and enjoy the outdoors (biking, hiking, walking, volleyball, exploring, etc.); however, for the next few months, I’ll have to settle for shorter walks and/or relaxing on a blanket in Central Park – hopefully, with some new friends. So, if meeting in Central Park this Saturday (July 14th) at Noon appeals to you or anyone else reading this, let’s meet at the Fifth Avenue & 86th Street entrance to Central Park. We can then find a spot in the Park. If you decide to come, bring something to sit on, a beverage, and snack for yourself. We can relax and just talk. Should it get too hot or rain, we can find a nearby alternate (e.g. go into the Metropolitan Museum of Art or other). The more the merrier. For those of you not near NYC, may I suggest that one of you take the lead in your area and post details for a very casual ‘getting to know you new friends’ meetup in your area. First steps are always hard but they usually lead to great things! All my best, Grace

        • Janet A Seline
          REPLY

          Hi Grace,
          I was wondering if your “meetup” on July 14th, 2018, in Central Park, was a success. If you get this, please let me know. I live in Hackettstown, NJ, about an hour from NYC. If you have a group I would love to join!!
          Janet

        • Janet A Seline
          REPLY

          Hi Grace,
          I am so happy to have found this website. I hope your “get together” yesterday went well. I live about an hour from NYC, in Hackettstown, NJ. If you have a group I would love to be a part of it. If you can, please let me know.
          Thanks,
          Janet

        • vivian
          REPLY

          i was in the same situation when i was in my twenties. im in my sixties right now . the best thing i ever did was to get out. dont ever allow anyone to abuse you and your child .

    • Lisa
      REPLY

      Hello all. Senior centers. Friendly visitors. Social workers. Volunteer. You have to leave the house. Or else find someone to invite in. Do something. You really can make a small effort every day. It requires you do something. Different.

    • NWlady
      REPLY

      I am also a widow — with no family, not a single cent to spend after paying the monthly bills (gas is rationed here!), a free-and-clear thankfully home in a town of 400 that has not one single business (not even a bar or grocery store), and no work/friend support system. I’ve gotten over my disappointment that a lifetime of monthly savings was spent on cancer treatments for my husband, who was a contractor and who during the 2008 meltdown, had to cancel his privately held company’s life and health insurance. My company was separate and I had those insurances through it. He didn’t want to worry me and we’d both been so healthy, he figured..he’d get it back soon. After all, he had paid for those items also for a lifetime.

      We moved to a small town to rehab this home — cosmetic needs and now, rats, a roof — and months later, he was diagnosed. I shut down my business to take care of him at home.

      Whenhe died, I was left standing there alone and broke. And then I discovered that neighbor wives don’t appreciate the widow asking their husbands for help. I understand. And I discovered that socializing costs money. I scrounge for groceries. I quit playing tennis. I quit a church bible study group. Why? I could not afford them. I was asked to lunch/dinner but when I cannot afford restaurant food, people start to pay and I do not want them to do so. I lived a life previously where I had plenty of money.. this is a new experience. I have a great resume but now I’m 66. I keep sending it out. Not one bite …and I have to keep in mind the distance to drive as my vehicle is now aged.

      But those things I can handle. What I’m having trouble with is planning for health problems. I do not know the prices of ambulances or hospitals but I know I cannot afford them at all. Safety is on my mind. What if someting happens here at home and I need help? What if I need the care my husband needed? What if I’m driving rural and I don’t make it home? Who will notice?

      I had a flat tire not long ago. I couldn’t get the lug nuts off the SUV. I ended up walking 6 miles to town. I’m glad I have my health to do that. But…it was a wake-up call. Another time I had a problem with one eye and had to get to town (20 miles) to get something for it. I could not close it. My other eye had bad sight; I used contact lense only on the other eye. No glasses. I drove very slowly to town on gravel road, after calling two people to see if I could get help. They were out of town. Two others…well, I was watering their plants as they were with family out of town. I was proud that I did it but again… a wake up call.

      I want very much to refuse ambulance/medical service if something happens as I don’t want to live alone afterward and worry about bankruptcy or creditors. Good grief. I have only hospitalization for Medicare. I really wish I knew of safety solutions….and I’m perfectly content dying .. I truly do not get bummed out at that. I just want it to be painfless and fast. I sometimes wish I was able to know of an off-button so in the case of a health issue, no medical…just push off button I’d actually find comfort in that!

      I go weeks and months without using my voice or being with another human. It’s funny how I’ve moved from totally weirded out by the silence of this new world — after a life filled with way too much busy and people — to accepting it. It’s not the best, I know. I do miss the fun things we did…camping, backpacking, ATV’s, hunting in the back country. I dream about it!

      But it is what it is. LIfe is now a matter of acceptance. What would really comfort me though is knowing how to deal with safety issues — with no money to pay for the support others usually get to deal with such topics. That’s what I want to know. Anyone able to help with ideas? Safety when away from home and when I don’t return… Safety if something happens to me at home and no one is around to provide help. Safety if I have an illness and want to die rather than have treatment — and no rolling eyes. or pressure to change my mind. Safety. That’s what I fret about.

      • Mary
        REPLY

        Hi – I just want to say how much I relate to you. I’m 63, but started realizing how alone I am in my early 50s. At that time I was having a lot of cluster “headache” (clusters are tortuous pain, much worse than what tend to be called headaches or even migraines). I was far from any hospital. I don’t know if there’s anything lonelier than being alone for hours & days in pain, or the fear of it, & feeling like no one really gets that, or cares. At the time I was in a relationship with a guy in Wa. State but caring for me beyond a point was beyond his emotional range.

        Now it’s over a decade later. My parents are gone & my brother has pretty much abandoned me. I had moved to the West coast from the East in 1990, so have lost ties with older friends, other than sort of superficial contact on Facebook. The chosen family that replaced my family of origin has all died or left this area in the last ten years. I have a couple of friends left & try not to lean on them too much. But whenever anything happens for which I need help, I sort of sigh & steel myself to walk next door & ask for help, apologizing all the time.

        One of things I want to say, & that occurred to me when I read your message was, “What has happened to this world?” Why are people so cold & uncaring toward others? I had a sort of spiritual awakening around mid-life & realized how much richer life is when I am awake to where I can be of use & service. But I feel surrounded by people who are all about their own little family units, who don’t seem to think of the world as a community.

        I live in the middle of a big city (San Diego) that is overrun by younger people who come here for school, partying, the social scene. I used to be a sort of big deal on the local poetry scene but my collaborators & supporters have died or left. Young people tend to be disinterested in what an older woman who has lost her looks has to say. I get out there & attempt to meet people. I volunteer at a place that helps sick people get their laundry done & get food a few times a week. When CL still had “platonic” personal ads I met a woman through that but she has faded as my life became so difficult in the last year or so & I had to keep saying I couldn’t do stuff with her. I don’t know what the answer is, other than continuing to try & meet people. I think of all the opportunities I had when I was younger – stuff that just seemed to fall into my lap. Now yers pass & nothing happens. It’s so hard to re-establish a social life when you are older. I wish there were communities for people with similar interests (political, social, creative) to support each other – more than just online. Anyway, a sincere best to all.

    • kath Lawton
      REPLY

      I am also very lonely, I am a young 73 and before I had my illness, M.E/CFS I was out and about socializing with people who I believed were friends, I soon found out that they nor my family were in the least bit interested about my illness.
      I have bought myself a mobility scooter so that I can get out and about on good days. As I write I am stopping myself from crying because I am lonely.
      They say, join a group! there are no groups where I live.
      I would do anything to have a genuine friend who I could visit and vice versa.

      • Claire
        REPLY

        I too am 65 and am blessed to have some clients (I now only consult). I no longer worry about the ambulance, I simply don’t go because they cost 650 dollars. My situation is that since i’ve moved to the southwest to escape the cold, I have no friends, and believe me, I’ve tried I am planning to move to southern cal in a hud senior home within 2 years and that seems like an eternity living around people that don’t get me I haven’t had any neighbors invite me to their apartments since November, even for a cup of coffee. My lease is up in November and I’m considering moving back East to be near my friends until California has a placement for me

        My mom told me as she was waiting to die in rehab to not go that route. She fell and had temporary paralysis and had that alarm around her neck and called for help Her life became a nightmare in rehab ( a very expensive one with a great reputation) and she made me promise that if I fall as a senior, get up if i can and if not wait for god because it’s a short wait (she was a nurse and lived til 93). I think she gave me good advice because I am tired of reaching out to people who are to scared to have me over because they think I want their husbands Never did that in high school or any part of my life. My sig other and I were getting ready to get back together in May – he was very healthy and died suddenly. He was my rock through all of life’s happenings and was there for me emotionally w.hen my parents died. I miss his emails and the loss of reuniting with him is huge.
        So I guess my question is due I “cowboy up” and go back to freezing cold where my friends are, or stay here in isolation

      • maryanne butler
        REPLY

        kath Lawton:
        wish you lived close by I’m in magnum ok and 62 and alone no kids, own home quiet life would love to meet and chat for lunch with someone…in great health no problems …take care maryanne

    • Kellt
      REPLY

      Hi, where are you located?

      My mother is around the same age as you and would love to meet new people and make new friendships. She Too has some health issues but would love to meet someone she can speak to and meet up with etc

    • Vicki
      REPLY

      Debbie I am in your shoes and 61 with Chronic Immune Disorder and several other medical issues that complicate it. Like you shopping is a big deal or just doing laundry. I try not to mess my house because I know I will have a cluttered one or dirty one to live in because I just can’t clean it. Getting to the shower some days is a big deal. Today I got up at 5pm after taking meds twice in bed, I finally was driven to get up because of pelvic pain from laying down. All this because I went out to do laundry yesterday, thats it. I am now facing being alone and living alone for the rest of my life with a progressing medical issues situation. What do we do Sis? I feel your pain, I really do, but I just don’t know what we can do about it. Sometimes I think there isn’t enough ‘goodness’ left in me to offer anyone. Who would want to have someone that can’t be counted on FOR ANYTHING. I never know what I am going to be able to make a show I have prepaid for or even shower some days until afternoon or later. God help us girl, God help us. (((hugs)))

  • Charlene
    REPLY

    I too am feeling very lonely and disconnected from everyone. I would like to have someone that I can talk with, laugh with and be supportive in the time of need. I feel like I’m stuck!!!!

    • Andrea brown
      REPLY

      Charlene, I feel the exact same way. It hurts, it really does. So much more. Have no way of knowing what to do. If you have found a solution please let me know. 64 yes old and never, ever did I think I would be this lonely. Andrea

        • Jean woodford
          REPLY

          Hello Bonnie
          I am 71 , married, but we are now on different paths ,I never ever felt I would feel lonely, but I do , my son and daughter ,are very good but have their own lives to lead, and the last thing they need is a”needy” mum.
          I love to have fun, laugh .in good company, share meals out, and theatre trips.
          I realised that if I don’t get a grip and reach out, I am going to become a shrivelled prune.and perhaps a recluse”!!!!!oh shudder!!!!!
          So perhaps as you Bonny and I all feel the same , perhaps we could all become friends. and who knows , we will never feel lonely again .
          What do you think girls ??

        • Adrienne
          REPLY

          It’s all consuming. 69 years old, wanted a happy marriage to one person, but he had other plans. That lasted 25 years. Have three beautiful kids and four amazing grandchildren. Remarried someone I respected and trusted, He turned out to be a narcissist. That lasted 17 years. He left me on the day my son in law died from a brain tumor. He was having an affair with an old flame whose husband was in hospice dying from ALS. Ya can’t make this stuff up.
          Two years after that divorce I started seeing someone I graduated high school with. Turns out his married female best friend, 18 years younger, is more important than the loving, meaningful relationship I thought we had. I had a difficult time with him taking her to the movies, lunch and just hanging out. So he left me after 2 years. He thought I was unreasonable. This happened today, so I’m hurting once again and venting! Thank you to anyone who reads this and can relate.

        • Trish
          REPLY

          How do I join this group? I’m almost 70, in great health, but more or less a recluse. I’m an artist and a Pomeranian small dog breeder. I need a lady around my age to live with me, do arts and crafts with, and someone who loves lots of tiny dogs to play with. I live in FL.

        • Maddy
          REPLY

          And I thought I was the only one. I am 71, with severe chronic pain, so I don’t get out much. If I could I would certainly do volunteer work but, alas, not to be. I am married, have 2 sons, who make courtesy phone calls. In fact, one lives 2 blocks from me with 4 little grandchildren I would dearly love to see. Not to be – his wife wants no part of me and my son visits with the little ones every 2 weeks for 2 hours max and now he is moving away. I doubt I will ever see either of my sons again in this lifetime. My husband who is in great shape with my encouragement has made friends and visits them often, passing at least 2 full days a week with them and when he is with me he spends entire days, from sun-up to sundown outside tinkering with all his toys. I feel discouraged, abandoned, lonely. I would volunteer or at least try but he demands that when he is here or is outside ignoring me that I be in the house. I had a good career, I was busy, spent a lot of time with my elderly mother. I have no brothers or sisters and have lost all my friends along the way, partly because of the agonizing pain no one seems to even want to talk about – family, doctors…. no one.

          And so I know how it feels. I have a lot more the say but no one to share it with. Maybe we could start chatting, learning about each other, and progress to a genuine friendship leading to more positive outlooks knowing their is 1 friend out there willing to talk of whatever and we could start putting some kind of positives in our lives, each leaning our each other to make us see out others or start doing things… who knows… maybe some day even meeting…. I reach out to you as you reach out

          Who knows maybe there is some light out there. I wanted to kill myself yesterday but when I read your post I thought – there is someone out there in my very shows. We could try in each our own way to find happiness and rid ourselves of this loliness….. just maybe

          • Sherry

            Maddy and all, I am glad you did not kill yourself, Maddy. People don’t know that a better existence is coming. Those who don’t about me think I’m speaking of God, but not really, although this could come purely from God and through technology. If enough research is done, you’ll find the experts are saying what I am, and in fact it’s through research on life extension and futurism that I know this. Most experts are saying within 10 years, we will have greatly expanded life extension through medical control, so vast that it will seem as though we have no maximum lifespan! So it will not be just a continuation of what we’ve always had but so much more. And if we avoid accidents and don’t have an “existential” type of event to end humanity, we may be able to live who knows how long.

        • debra
          REPLY

          Clara I’m in same boat… 4 children who don’t ever bother calling. I’m 61 and just recently became disabled… I don’t even have transportation… So lonely don’t know why I’m still around

        • James Moore
          REPLY

          you know I know what you mean I have the same situation for my kids but however we could get together and we could be happy and the feeling of love that we will have between us flowing in each other’s bodies I would love you care for you and be there and never leaves you I’m 69 but I look 45

        • James D R*****
          REPLY

          Being ignored by ur children sux, I know I am a divorced 61 year old man, Still active as a 30 year old,And I can’t seem to get close to my three kids, My twin girls are 30 and my son is 24. My two girls have found their place in life,And my son,Who knows ? Maybe he’s jealous because his mother and I divorced six years ago.
          All she did was go out on weekends and party until the wee hours of the am,W/guys and my niece (she created
          all of my hard feelings toward my ex-wife) Anyway I know what it feels like to be alone ! That’s y I am looking for a new home back in Fla. That’s where I belong, I never had any problems there,I was there for approximatly 25 years on and off,W/never any problems w/anyone
          years I hope soon to get back to Fla. and start over again Thanx for reading this, I will survive ! JDR from NY Burbs

          • June S. Keller

            James,

            I am a 63 year old widow. I have family (a son) but only hear from them if they need anything. They, are always on the go and my son is not allowed to contact me, unless they need something.

            I have helped them alot financially and have done alot of baby sitting. I have lived in Florida (Coral Springs) for over 25 years, it gets very lonely and the few friends I have don’t ever want to do anything.

            Basically, my family would like me to die so they could sell my house and travel.

            Contact me if you would like to.

        • Suzanne
          REPLY

          Me too Clara. My entire adult life has been terribly difficult. I moved closer to my one son and his kids but never hear from them unless I initiate contact. In a bad relationship with a man who does not live with me, but have been together for years. We are not intimate any longer and he blames me. I want a commitment and am trying to follow what the Lord wants. I am tired of being emotionally neglected and starved for affection. I blame him. So tired of being alone. I moved to a small town from the city also so socializing isn’t an option. Love to all the ladies on here. We all deserve so much more than poverty, loneliness and disrespect.

    • Andrea Brown
      REPLY

      Hi, my name is Andrea and I am in the same situation as many as you are. I’m 64 yrs old in a a loveless and unhappy Matt. I tried meet ups but that did not help me. I would just like to meet a friend that I can talk to, listen to and share a friendship.

      • Paul Delima
        REPLY

        Hi Andrea
        My name is Paul . I am 60 yrs old . I have 3 children. I was a single parent. My ex wife l eft then when my youngest daugher was 3 yrs old. Now they are full grown and married. Now I live all alone and I’m trying to look for friendship . Or someone to chat with everyday. I’m a retired Chef for 40 yrs. Sometimes it gets frustrating being all alone.

      • Judy
        REPLY

        Hi Mariana-
        I joined a few meet-ups, but they don’t seem to have enough events. I live in Manteca, CA sbout an hour or so from you.
        I am 67 years old. My 65 year old husband left me on May 9th to live with a 75-year old woman he met on a dating site at the end of March. I am going through separation and will be filing for divorce hopefully soon so I can go on with my life. I love dancing of all types. I am looking for women to go out karaoeking & dancing with, movies, musicals, traveling, dining, etc.

      • nan k
        REPLY

        Yes, there are meetup groups in the twin cities are full of women. We all may need to look at men and women once again sharing rental homes together. (we did in college)
        The meetup groups in the twin cities are boring. I want , specifically, now that I cannot find what I want, a person or person to relocate with me to a retirement community ON A COLLEGE CMAPUS. There are 5 in the usa, where residents mingle intergenerationally and take classes on campus, use facilities…and I do not mean THE LIFELONG LEARNING PROGRAM that is in most cities where you drive in to universities for , once again ,boring presentaitons
        When we had ballrooms and many dance halls in the twin cities with thems, it was real nice.
        My retirement as a professional ed. is boring but it does not seem to be boring overseas?.

        Good Luck and stay in touch. Nan

    • Gina Savietto
      REPLY

      Hello Anne, my story is very similar to yours, lost my dear hubby 5 years ago, 46 years married when he passed… i’m like you … i’d like to do more but have sore feet and cant walk that much .. cant do a great deal, you can talk to me whenever you like, it would be nice if you lived in Perth, i do have “friends,”but not always interested in me and i have 3 children and 7 beautiful grandies… they are very good to me and i baby sit one or the other during the week.
      I’d love to chat with you sometimes , need more adult interaction, not looking for a man, at this stage of my life i nearly need to be looked after never mind having an old man to pick up after or cook for etc…. anyway, keep well and hope to hear from you
      Regards

      Gina

    • Clay
      REPLY

      I in some way feel your pain. I absolutely hate this article with a strong passion. The author tried making a standpoint that “15 million people under 65 years old” made the choice of living alone. Either you’re ignorant or it is 5x in me for not reading the rest, because that’s only natural. You are trying to justify a shocking number of 15m people not wanting to be married (again) as a statistic? You have no underlying results, and the quantifiable analysis on the wide margin of an age group is bogus. You are rallying people without relationships, with short term relationships, mid term relationships, long term relationships, people with loved ones who passed away, and everything inbetween. You are a joke and you’r publication is not researched. End results to all who read this, be happy, find what makes you happy, and pursue it (as long as it is violent) and make sure you treat everyone as you want to be treated, in a friendly manner. At the end of the day, you’ll never know what nice comment you gave someone that they’ve thought about until they went to bed.

      • Jackie Smith
        REPLY

        hello Jamie would you like to be happy living in the beautiful Ozark mounts of Arkansas i am a 77 yr young male white. widowed very lonely have a beautiful home.

        • Jamie lee
          REPLY

          Wow are you serious? That would be my dream come true! I would love to leave Georgia! I would not be able to get there because I have never driven a car at all and I will not get on a plane! I’ll check back to see if you answer back! My God bless you every day. Faith, belief, love of God my have answered my prayers! What do you enjoy doing! Are you a Christian?

  • Rachel
    REPLY

    My name is Rachel.Im 63 years young and refused to let a number to determine my feelings. I’m a happy-go-lucky girl and I love to travel and I love to eat different kinds of foods I’m looking forward to a 15 day road trip with a sweet little friend of mine who was my neighbor 35 years ago I’m reaching out and I’m trying to do things I’ve never done before and now that I’m no longer married after many years I’m ready to go and have a good time. Come on girls and boys let’s begin to live let’s don’t sit here and wait to die alone get out have a good time get a job.
    I hope I have said something to encourage you to get up and To Live and Let Live have a ball.

    • Rachel Cozart
      REPLY

      Thanks for these open, honest comments. I’m 62 and don’t have any real family or friends to speak off. No children, lots of moving and unexpected traumatic events. I’ve put a small little life together but can’t imagine how to make new friends & connections. I don’t seem to have much in common. Lived a very different kind of life. But the loneliness gets to me after too many days & weeks by myself.

        • Denis
          REPLY

          I am in the exact same boat. I have learned that a domestic partner was the way to go for me. No kids. Then, she passed almost 2 years ago. I think that my reason why no legal marriage had to do with my upbringing. Our attachment style is formed early in our lives, between us and influential caregivers. I have no regrets exept the cancer part. Best.

        • NANCY MCCARTNEY
          REPLY

          Hi Sherry
          I am just the opposite have to many kids and would like to get away from them all .. So count yourself lucky.
          I to am lonely and looking for some friends my age to hang out with . I raised 3 of my own children and adopted 6 more so I have been busy raising them now they are grown and expect me to keep raising them the youngest is now 23 my oldest is 51 . Time for me to live my life. My dear friend since high school always said we would
          travel when everyone grew up we are now 71 and she is still working. Plus she is in pain and can’t even manage
          to go out to dinner after working at the office . I live in northern Illinois and seriously thinking of selling my house
          and leaving the country.. I have my heart set on Nova Scotia I have not been there yet. But keep studying everything about it . I plan to go in June and check it out.

          • Terry Crane

            My name is Terry hi Sherri I’m with you had 1 child but ended up raising many. I’ve been a caregiver my whole life. Just want to talk go places but I have no money. I would just be glad to have someone to go to movies or out to eat. I’m way back in country .Gets so lonely

          • Sherry

            I’m looking for a warm climate not a cold one but I hope you like Nova Scotia if you move there. I have never wanted children, yet envied the Duggar family’s large support system and all the positive excitement that goes with it. Wondering how your family compared to that family. When you say she is in pain, I’m not sure who you’re referring to. I too have issues with pain due to a lower spine problem but I’m not bad as long as I’m not on my feet or sitting for long. :) We too are trying to sell our house and move South. I’m looking for people who are interested in indefinite life extension through medical intervention and accident reduction/eradication. guessmyneeds@yahoo.com

          • Barbara Idzerda

            Hi Sherry,
            I have always dreamed of going to Nova Scotia too. Tell me if you went on your trip & how it was. I’m a big traveler and can’t believe I’ve never been there. I live in NYC right now:)

        • Andrea
          REPLY

          Sherry, I see your name a lot. Is this just a sounding board or how do you meet the people you are talking to and have so much in common to talk about?

          • Sherry

            Andrea, I have lots of posts here because I really feel there is potential to make connections here, although it may be a sounding board for some. Anyway it seems like a successful thread because it’s lasted so long. So far I’ve been emailed a few times asking for more about the community home I’d like to start in the future. I’m a relentless person so I keep trying. Also I think it helps all of us because through this thread we see we have a lot of company when it comes to loneliness. Not easy to find real connections though.

          • Gayle

            Not certain how this site works but can relate to most of you. Also not sure how safe this is as I googled “retired single women who want to relocate” & this appeared for all the world to see. If anyone can advise I would appreciate it.

      • Sherry
        REPLY

        and I don’t know why people without children by choice, like myself are not sticking together. Even the online sites for those without children have closed down. Seems crazy!

          • Sherry

            I didn’t know there was even one dating site solely for those without children. I was on one forum just for people to connect online, friendship or not. (I think it was mostly ladies — talking about how to cope in a world where it seems you’re alone. and whether or not the holidays are a special type of problem, for example. That one closed down soon after I joined and the other similar sites were also closed.

        • Sherry
          REPLY

          Terry I don’t know where you are but I’m looking for people who are excited about the anti-aging research going on now and who are interested in how all diseases and accidents can be gradually eliminated. If interested in this and other things, you can email me: guessmyneeds@yahoo.com

        • Jamie lee
          REPLY

          I’m new at this too! Maybe we can help each other out with this new adventure! I’m Jamie and my husband passed away in 2013 with lung cancer at age 53 I am 55 now and I am disabled and can’t work but I have a check that goes into my account it’s just not enough to keep up with morgage and other bills and I never learned to drive so I am alone 99 percent of the time! That’s what lonely really is! I have know one in my life and my children and grandchildren don’t care enough to check on me! I live in Gainesville ga

      • R
        REPLY

        I am exactly in the same boat. Don’t seem to make friends and no relatives. 54 now and I often think how I am going to manage in my sixties and beyond

          • Denis

            Yep. People can say to each their own meaning that no one person would never be correct to direct any other adults actions. I have personally found that if one lives in a metropolitan area that it has more clubs more resources. At the same time, it is all about companies spending their advertising to get the word out there. I have seen people in hospitals never having any visitors. Still, some people that become patients prefer it this way. No for me. And, am working on being pro active to improve my life in a relationship.

          • Mike stephen

            Hello Katherine
            I’m kinda like lonely too My name is Mike I’ve worked ever since I was fifteen I don’t trust to many people but I’m looking for someone that I can trust and share the things that I’m sososo Lonley about What I really want is a friend to talk to about problems I have and I love hearing a friends problems maybe take short walks in a park or walks around campground or by a peaceful lake or a pond maybe we could get together and be friends

            Thank you
            Mike

        • Kathy
          REPLY

          Im 52 feeling the same way. Last man I was with was my husband 12 years ago. I want to share with someone. Male female just companionship

          • Alan

            Hello Kathy, I’m 55 and I’ve been divorced for a long time too. It would be nice to have a conversation with you.

          • Sara

            Hi Andrea, I have no family either, but I am lucky to have my son and husband even though I’m not really happy, we don’t have any other family, well I have 4 siblings but they are so toxic I had to write them off, 1 brother I like but he doesn’t call or anything and is going through a divorce and I think he’s on crack and drinks, I don’t even talk to my parents. They treated me like crap my whole life, all us siblings, no one talks to anyone. My mother is selfish bit– who shouldn’t of had kids, she favored 2 and was nasty to the rest, now no one gets along, she is the cause of everything and had the nerve to say on mothers day a few years back “I’d have money if I didn’t have kids” I told her you shouldn’t of had kids – I don’t know what it’s like to have a caring mother. I thinks it’s worse when you do have siblings but their abusive so I had to get rid of them. I got married at 36, I used to get abused at jobs then come home and get abused by my parents and siblings. But I truly believe what goes around comes around. I’m so worried about my son he’s any only child when he gets older he doesn’t have family, I couldn’t have any more children, got married so late. My husband is a loner, he has gotten screwed over by people so much, doesn’t trust anyone, doesn’t want friends or be social so I am lonely too. My son and 5 cats and dog keep me going.

        • M.
          REPLY

          “R” – I stumbled across this site and I share a lot if the feelings described, but I didn’t see anyone near my age until I read your post. I’m 53, no children, nor close family and now dealing with the end of a bad marriage. No idea what I’ll do if something serious happens… I truly have no one to count on.
          I related to another person here who said they had no children due to “a lot of moving and unexpected traumatic events… ” I would love to have had children, but it just didn’t work out that way for me. I’ve always tried to maintain a positive attitude, but I’m just so tired of starting over in life. I finally got married at 42 and that was just a waste of 10 years and a self-esteem killer in the end…

      • Linda
        REPLY

        Some of us don’t have a choice. I don’t have the money to go traveling; in fact, I don’t even have a car now. Friends? I moved to this little town because I could afford to buy here, at the time. And never fit in. Everyone is related. Church, too. My family is far away and I’m forgotten. I have some health issues but can still be active, usually. Doesn’t matter, I’m stuck. So don’t tell me it’s a matter of attitude and just getting out there. I’m sorry I sound so bleak. I used to be so bouncy and busy and productive. Now I’m just a nice old lady that walks to the grocery store, bank, post office. Everyone treats me like how they see me….a sweet old lady. My friends are online now. I love good, deep conversation, keeping informed in politics, world events, Christian beliefs. Better than nothing, keeps my mind busy…..but pretty lonely. I’d like to sell my small house for what little I can get out of it, get a vehicle, move to a place with more access to shopping and things to see. But it’s all overwhelming.

        • Janet
          REPLY

          Hi Linda. I feel like I am stuck also Linda. The town I live in has no activities for seniors. My husband has been gone for 7 years now and I have been lonely that whole time. I don’t have any family here but one daughter and they are too busy for me. They have a huge camper but they never invite me to go camping with them. I would be so excited if I could just go with them one time. I do have a car thankfully because I need a car to get to the grocery store and to run other errands. But that is about all I do in my life is running errands and get groceries. I have been on depression pills and they helped a little but there are days that I am just really sad and wish I had someone in my life. I do not want to get married again have been there a couple of times and do not wish to do that again. I just wish there was some way we could all get together and be friends.

      • Carol Gevlin
        REPLY

        Just read your post and I know exactly how you feel. Moved to a new location approximately 10 years ago. Am single & do not have many friends here. Had to retire a few years ago & suffer from severe loneliness most of the time now. Hope your situation has improved since your post!

      • Chrissy
        REPLY

        A Widow
        I lost my husband who was my best friend and now I’m alond because my “children” abandoned me. It’s very sad especially on Holidays when you pretend it’s going to be Ok but it never is
        Selfish daughters know I’m a heart patient and cancer survivor but said I’m dead to them does anyone know if there are Familes who need a Grandmom or just a Friend
        It’s scary being alone

        • Jamie lee
          REPLY

          Oh my!! My heart broke hearing your words! My husband passed away 5 years ago and my children and grandchildren abandoned me to! You have a friend now me

      • Janet
        REPLY

        I am in exactly the same boat–no kids, no husband, moved around a lot so I don’t feel grounded and am having trouble making friends. I am 60. I would like to connect with you.

      • Janet
        REPLY

        I am in the same boat. Have one daughter and son-in-law that lives near me but both are so busy that they really do not have time for me. I only have one good friend and we used to do things together but she has been ill and her husband has been ill so that has kept us from getting together. I don’t think I have seen her in the last 2 years almost. So I am very lonely too. I have three cats which give me some companionship but not having any friends to do things with is really hard. I have gone to church before but have neverfelt a part of anything there .It would be so nice if some of these letters that we read here where we could find out who they are and how far away they live from us so that we might be able to make friends with each other so that we would not feel so alone and lonely.

      • Zachie Hughes
        REPLY

        Hi
        I’ve been trying to find a site where older women like me feel dating men is not for them!
        I just turned 60 , I’ve had medical problems most of my life
        I divorced an abusive man 20 years ago.
        I tried internet dating several times and it is not for me
        A year ago I met a chronic liar who had a substance abuse record. I had a cat for a long time who died and I don’t want another
        I wish to find other women who think dating sucks
        Zachie

        • Sherry
          REPLY

          Zachie, even if you’re NOT asexual, you may be accepted on one of the asexual sites. Some are paid, at least one is free and there are a few facebook pages, although they may not be active enough. If you explain yourself, as you did in your post, you have a chance to get some good responses.

        • Judy
          REPLY

          Hi Zachie-
          At present I am having trust issues with men in general. I do love dancing though and I am trying to grt the courage to go to older dance clubs alone, and line dancing.

      • Andres
        REPLY

        Being lonely hurts. I know exactly how you feel. Just longing to say “hi, how are you doing? Wanna get together?” Just to have someone to talk to, go out and have some fun. It really does hurt.

    • Denis
      REPLY

      I have learned that there is a grieving process after a separation, divorce, leaving a long term friendship, partnership and a persons demise. Some move easily forward and some do not. The people who wish to be alone til their demise with no companionship whatsoever, etc. should be pleased with their decision to do so. They find peace their own way. I do not want that way for myself.

      • Kathleen
        REPLY

        I am not sure who is getting this message but after being only not lonely for 6 years my feelings have changed.
        I have lots of female friends I luv their company but I now feel I would like some male Chatter

        • Janet
          REPLY

          Kathleen, I was fine also for the first 7 years after my husband’s death and then I decided that I really need to have a man in my life. So I went online and met a very nice man so quickly that I just could not believe it. We spoke for three months online and never met because he lives out of the country and worked out of the country. He was very very pleasant and I had really started to fall in love with him. To make a long story short I found out just this last week that I was being scammed they call it romance scammed. It has broken my heart but I do not talk to him anymore because he really is not who he said he is. Be careful if you go online there are so many scammers out there today and they will take advantage of you and not blink an eye doing it. After this bad experience I decided I don’t want a man in my life. Not for me. So be careful

        • frank
          REPLY

          i am 72 years old have been told i don’t look it.i am in great shape my wife died very sudden 12 years ago while i was at work.my son was home called me and when i got home they had went to the hospital.she died three days later.the only thing that has kept me sane is i still work.my son is getting married soon and i didn’t realize how much i would miss his company.i don’t want to get married again opening your heart again and then losing someone can be very painful.i just want someone to enjoy the rest of my life with someone without marriage.i know to some people that sounds wrong but that what i want.

          • Sally

            Hi Frank
            My name is Sally and I’m 60. I lost my husband of 33 years suddenly. I have 2 grown daughters that try and include me in things , I am grateful for that. I went back to work but it’s not very fulfilling and I live in the suburbs where everyone is married. I know there are many of us out there…it used to be so easy to meet people now I feel like I don’t know how anymore. It’s a hard feeling to describe. Even people I worked with for over a decade just disappeared. Sometimes I really believe people are afraid to talk to widows. I am or was very active loneliness is worse than death.

      • Helen
        REPLY

        I have not moved forward easily. I’ve been alone 5 years now after a 23-year marriage and a 3 year relationship. Both ended in quite shocking ways and I feel that despite all my efforts I can’t move on from it somehow. I am also very lonely. I have a busy job, which more than anything I want to get out of, in an unfriendly city where nothing really good has ever happened for me. I have a few friends here, more abroad. My family is all overseas. I don’t want to be alone forever either, and every now and then I forget that I am alone, as if I was so used to having a partner and a good social life that my brain occasionally forgets that it hasn’t been that way for so many years. I did a bit of dating but it gave me panic attacks – ridiculous, I know. The grieving process is easier now (it was hell for the first three years alone), but my life has not become ‘normal’ again. I am afraid that I will be alone forever, stuck. I do a lot of stuff by myself – going out, trying new things, meeting people, travelling – but I never feel really relaxed anymore. I am also afraid to quit my job and strike out alone – being old and poor – and alone! – is really terrifying. But being here is a living purgatory. I’m glad to find this site, with people feeling similarly – but also not glad to see so many people going through this situation. I would also like to meet up, but you all seem to live a long way from where I am.

        • Barbara Idzerda
          REPLY

          Hi Helen,
          My story is similar to yours. I lost my husband on Christmas Day, 2011 & my loneliness gets worse & worse. I never thought I would be lonely & from the outside you would never know I am. You didn’t say where you live but I’m in NYC & CA in case you are close to either of those.

    • womanovereasy
      REPLY

      This is the worst part of my life and an off button would be helpful. I lost my husband to cancer. i lost a lifetime of retirement savings to the medical community that treated his cancer. I had health insurance. He did not… his business fell into trouble when the 2008-9 collapse stopped all lending to contractors..a fact many do not know occurred. My biz was doing great and he did not want me to worry about his biz struggles. Ah well.. that did not work too well. I paid cash for his medical.. wiped me out. My/ our love is outdoor activities…our home is rural. My loves are fishing, hiking, hunting, camping. Try finding a woman to do those things. And men… no go… I do not want to date anyone and male friends for outdoor companions do not exist. I am college-educated and have built 3 businesses. suddenly my great resume gets me zero jobs.. age is a real barrierOur son lives acriss the country. There is no senior center here… there is no grocery store within 25 miles. Soo I struggle to pay bill. I go fishing alone. I camp alone. I go months during winter alone .. spring is better but better means 3 hours a week of human contact. I had a busy, full life with too many people, plenty of money, 40 years of marriage , travel, faculty friends.. and now.. the goal reached is not what i would widh on anyone. I am truly not depressed but i really have little desire to keep on going. This, quite frankly, sucks!

      • Glenda
        REPLY

        Hello Frank! I’m so glad I found this site. I didn’t know there were so many people in the same boat I am in. Lonely people! I am 73 and still work in my business. Scared to retire. It’s the only thing that help me with my loneliness. I too would love to have a relationship with a man but don’t want to get married. Someone i can share my inter most thoughts with. A companion. Someone to go on trips with. Go out to eat. Just someone who enjoys my company. I live in Alabama.

      • Helen W.
        REPLY

        Where are you, “womanovereasy”??? I’d love to go fishing and camping!!! I’m in Texas, but sounds like you’re probably not. I’m 73, my husband passed in 2014, my mother, baby sister and my dog passed in 2015, in 2016 was my middle sister. I have a sister and a brother left and neither are anywhere near me. But that’s ok, we never got along anyway. I just went to the store today and fell in their bakery area……surprised me, really did. I think I turned too quickly and bumped into a post. I’m ok though, but it’s something to worry about. I think a lot about no one checking on me, I could probably lie on the floor for several days before a neighbor might decide to check…….it’s not a neighborhood where neighbors hang out together. I have dogs and thought maybe I should be teaching them to dig a hole and roll me over into it, but they’re mostly old too so that wouldn’t work out. I went up to the fire station yesterday and got a “file of life” form, filled it out and put it on my fridge…..it states all medical stuff, whatever “handicaps” a person has, etc., but someone has to call 911 so it’s just hanging on the fridge because no one checks on each other here. The only thing I really do outside the house is go to church and bible study class. Anyway, I’m rambling…….it would be great if you were in this area!

    • Debbie
      REPLY

      That’s great, Rachel that you’re able to be so active. Speaking for myself, I have some health issues that prevent me from traveling or otherwise getting out on a regular basis so that I can meet other people. If you have the health to enjoy these years you are truly blessed.

      I’m not sure what the rest of us are supposed to do, however. You can only rely on the internet so much for friendships.

        • Easter
          REPLY

          Hi Steve,

          I like your short but sweet outlook. Yes, we come into this life alone and depart alone.

          I am 87 years old this month and have never felt alone. Always learning something new. Began learning the saxophone six months ago and having a ball. Played clarinet and oboe as a child. Going from classical to jazz.

          I have many blessings and am grateful for each day. Do have to deal with scoliosis and macular degeneration which is annoying but in the context of things, I am a lucky lady. Have had a very full life.

          There is always something to feel good about if I look for it.

          • Michael Micalizzi

            Hi Easter it is wonderful that you continue to learn, I will be 86 in 8 days, and I learn something new every day, I am alone but I am not lonely at all.
            There are ways not to feel lonely just have a hobby that you really enjoy and are good at it, something that you can do every day and look forward to all tomorrows.
            In 2002 when I retired I was 70 years old, I was very fortunate that I could afford to travel, and travel I did for 13 consecutive years: all of the States of the Union, South America, Central America, most islands of the Caribbean and most islands of Hawaii , Italy, France, Switzerland and even East Africa, I never even bothered to think about my age, I felt that by the time I reached 82 I would be dead like my father, I did not die but money was becoming a problem, I had homes in the Florida Keys, in Lakeland Fl, in Naples Fl, an apartment in Aventura Fl, a home in Spring Valley Ca. and now in Hemet Ca. After selling my home in Naples Fl I decide to return to California and chose Hemet because was 100 miles north of Spring Valley and a cheeper place to live, bought a mobil home there and all that I needed for security and comfort, I have my car and still enjoy exploring places near me. I was born in Italy, in 1956 I moved to the United States,for more than 44 years I lived in Florida, Florida is a wonderful place to be, especially the Florida Keys were I had a home for 36 years, but Florida is flat and for natural beautiful landscapes you needed to travel north or west, In my travel I took over 13.000 photographs.
            When I moved to Hemet I found myself to be afflicted by low energy, not much money and faced with the problem of what to do with whatever time I had left, when I was young I wanted to be a painter, my parents won’t have none of that so I became a researcher first in plastic later in pharmaceuticals, I decide to start painting, as it turned out I was very good from the very beginning, at the moment 10 of my latest paintings are on exhibition for the next 6 months at the very modern government building in Riverside Ca, I also was featured on the spotlight of the Press Enterprise news paper by the Riverside Arts Council, all my paintings are from my travel photographs, I am in fairly good health and live alone, I have been alone since my divorce in 1990, of course I was in several nice relationships but because of my preference of traveling alone after few bad experiences and also because of my moving to so many different places, I was not in a place long enough to form lasting friendships and relationships, now that I spend most of my time at home painting it would be nice to correspond and meet a healthy older lady that loves art or is an artist herself, I would love to correspond and ultimately meet at a place agreeable to both of us. If you want to see my paintings go to Michael Micalizzi of Hemet on Facebook and let me know if you like my style.The problems I have been facing is that galleries and art judging exhibitions are not interested on promoting a person of my age because I would not be around for very long to produce more paintings, a classical case of discrimination for an old person, that is the way it is. Have a great Christmas Holiday. Michael

        • Sadiees
          REPLY

          Iam 56 yr old woman single one son 25 lives on his own and Iam very lonely would love to find friends both male and female and Iam not sure if there even is a place to do that ?! Soes anyone know of a place to make friends after 55 ???

          • Sherry

            Sadiees, Try meetup.com I’ve never been to one of the local groups through this but many have said they have.

          • Barb

            iam looking also for friends in my area
            i need support & in turn i can support others . i live in south orange county . barb

          • Denis

            Meetup.com does exist unlike what a contributor wrote. In the Miami area, this .com is so necessary since many keep to themselves. It is why it exists. So, you are in the same boat as so many others. Go to your nearest local community center and get their monthly list of activities and then just pass by when an activity you like is on. If you like the crowd, then sign up to be a member. If computer savvy and have the money go to the most popular singles sites that have your info secured (emphasis added). beat of luck.

          • Cressie

            I am 69 and alone as well. I found a small church that I am happy with. Everyone is very friendly. I also have a Shih Tzu. I believe having a pet and church family helps. Senior Centers are good also. I still miss having a steady person to go to dinner with and just be around the house. My husband died from cancer 11 years ago.

        • alberta
          REPLY

          Being alone isn’t bad. It would be nice to share with another the wonders of life at our age. I still work part-time and met a lot of older and younger people. They never look down on us seniors working for reasons. I enjoy senior activities , being with the grand-kids, art work, and more of a country person. I am looking for companionship with someone that I may have something in common with. I enjoy going to murder-mysteries on stage production and so on…..Berta

          • Denis

            This site is for the general public in the features section and is not secured. Best not to type in any personal information.

        • Kathy
          REPLY

          Steve,
          The point pf what ppl are saying here i believe is
          We are looking to make connections. When we age some looe family or never had any.. some empty nesters or never had any.if it where as easy to just enjoy and deal with it we wouldnt be searching here

      • Toney
        REPLY

        Hello Sharyn
        How are you doing today? my name toney and I came across your profile on here and I will like to know more about you if you don’t mind.. kindly write me a mail on (twilliams44672@gmail.com ) I will be looking forward to read back from you soonest

        Toney

        • Jean
          REPLY

          https://www.meetup.com/ Then choose your state then city. I’ve attended a Bible Study group, a Small Dogs Hiking group, a Single Senior Friends group, Wednesday Hump Day hiking group, all at one time or another and though it was difficult at first to enter into something alone where most of the others already knew each other since I don’t have great group skills and am really only comfortable talking one-on-one and am not a smiley person but rather serious – there was never a time when I felt uncomfortable or ignored and I learned to get better at being with strangers who quickly became, not friends, but congenial participants in whatever it was the group was aimed at doing. I can recommend it if your city has a chapter as most mid to large sized cities do.

          • Patricia

            Hi Jean,
            You just touched on several of the reasons I don’t go to meet ups. I’ve tried different things and found most people bring a friend with them which often makes it hard to connect with them. Maybe I’ll get the courage up now to go to a meetup after reading your post. Thanks for sharing.
            Patty

        • Patti
          REPLY

          Toney:

          Do not reply to this person. You can tell by their poor use of English grammar that this is probably a Nigerian scammer.

      • Toney
        REPLY

        Hello Sharyn
        How are you doing today? my name toney and I came across your profile on here and I will like to know more about you if you don’t mind.. kindly write back ur email address I will be looking forward to read back from you soonest

        Toney

        • Helene
          REPLY

          hi Jean,
          I feel exactly how you do! I have tried Meet Up a few times but since people come with other friends, it is hard to connect with that one person

          I live in Northern Ca. in Berkeley, where about do you live? if we live not too far from each other, it would be lovely to meet.

          I would enjoy hearing back from you!
          Helene

          • Jean

            Hi, Helene

            I live in Bend, Oregon (which isn’t really near anything but Bend, Oregon !). I lived in N. California near San Jose for the first 30 years of my life and here for the last 37 – very nice here in the mountains and still having a town with great medical care, Costco, Walmart, Target, you name it – we’ve got it. We’ve been discovered and home prices and rentals are sky high now. I was in Berkeley just once when someone dragged me to a protest about something. Hope your Easter was nice – my pastor and his wife invited me to join their family for a big feast which was very sweet of them – but then I always wonder if they just feel it’s their duty to invite those they know have no one to spend holidays with
            ( I probably shouldn’t be so suspicious of peoples’ motives but I just hate when people feel “sorry” for me since I have no one when for the most part it’s been my choice. ) At this point, I’m pretty content with my sweet dog and two funny guinea pigs and, to tell the truth, so many times when I am out somewhere with people at the Senior Center for movies, or exercise classes, or after church when you’re expected to socialize in the lobby, I find myself wishing I was home with Joey, Ruthie, and Gracie – my fur buddies who never bend my ear about their incredible grandchildren and want to show me 35 photos to prove it and seldom bother to ask my about myself – it’s rarely a conversation but a monologue on their part. What is your story ?

          • Sherry

            That’s right about the 35 grandchildren. I’m happy that people have so many family members but they do not put themselves in the place of others who can’t get in a word edgewise about themselves. There should be etiquette regarding talking too much about your relatives, especially oohing and aahing to others about their kids and grandkids.

      • Janice
        REPLY

        I am 64 years old and live in Florida. I am a retired nurse. I am currently in a loveless relationship and have been for 10 years. I have two good friends who come to visit me every year from up north. I miss having a connection with a friend. My partner does not have any friends and never wants to leave the house. I would love to have a companion for walking, going to lunch, exploring places laughing,, etc. Even living with someone can be more lonely than living alone.

        • Sherry
          REPLY

          Janice, I imagine it could be lonelier to live with someone like that. Why can’t you get any friends? Do you have close family nearby?

          • Janice

            Hi Sherry,

            I am fortunate that I have two married daughters that live in Florida. I am very close with my grandchildren also. I had a very rough time with my youngest daughter a couple of years ago. We were estranged and I sometmes thought we would never have a mother/daughter relationship again. At that time, I began to focus on me. I joined a gym, got involved with my other daughter and grandkids, and realized I needed to focus me. Fortunately, My youngest daughter and I have reconciled. She has grown up a lot and I am now enjoying a relationship with her, my son-in-law, and 18 mo grandson.

            I have met some people, however, I am a “giver” and not a “taker”. I guess I have just met the wrong type of people…no connection.

          • Sherry

            Janice. glad you reconciled with your daughter. I have to focus a lot on myself also but it’s because of my compelling reason to continue living, with the goal of to physically live forever mostly via upcoming technology. As long as I can be healthy and comfortable enough, I think I can make it.

          • Judy

            Hi i want to move to fla but have no family or friends there iam 76 but very healthy love to walk were are you in fla iam coming for vacation soon

        • Patricia
          REPLY

          Hi Janice,
          I’m 64 as well. I wish you lived near me, I am in the same situation and would love to make some new friends, I just never know where to go to meet them.. I find most people are settled with their group of friends and aren’t really interested in making new friends.
          Unfortunately you live in Florida, I’m in Virginia. Funny because I thought maybe it would be good to move to Florida to retire since it’s where so many retirees move that it would make it easier to make new friends. I guess it’s the same everywhere.
          All the best,
          Patty

          P.S. I’ve often said “being lonely living with someone is the loneliest kind of lonely.”
          Just know you’re not alone with these feelings.

          • Janice

            Hi Patty

            I definitely agree with you. I have found that people are settled in their own cliques and very difficult to break the ice. I really appreciate your response. It is kind of nice to know there is someone out there that feels as I do.

            Yes, I wish you lived near me. It would be nice to meet a good friend. Thank you!

            Januce

          • Jean

            Hi, Patty

            Yes, about “being loneliest with someone,” is so true. I’ve always said, “Be careful what you wish for.” Personally, I think God gave us dogs to make up for people. I try to interact some with people via the Meetup groups (as noted earlier) and thru church and am thinking of volunteering with a Veteran’s organization here as I have a soft spot for those who served but at the end of the day there is nothing (for me) that takes the place of my little darling dog going nuts when I get home be it after 1 hr or 10 hrs. He actually attempts to talk to me and sticks to me like glue, in bed he burrows beneath the blanket and conforms his body to mine so I have a natural hot water bottle. It sort of scares me how much I love him and how I can’t even begin to think about ever losing him. So I would recommend getting a dog if a person is allowed to where they live and can afford one. Doggies also love being walked so it gets you out to parks and areas set aside for dogs where people with their dogs seem to more easily strike up conversations that, of course, revolve around their dogs.

            Jean

          • Sherry

            Pets can be very important. I have an online friend who has no family to speak of and no local friends. Her rabbit gives her company and happiness. Walking pets out in public is one of the best ways to make friends. I am living proof because when I was 18 and in a new area, I had a family of 4 kids and 4 dogs befiend me — I hardly had to say a word and it got me a babysitting job for the 4 kids,

          • Janice

            Hi Judy, I am on Wesr coast Tampa Bay area. Originally, from New England. Have lived here 10 years. JANICE

          • Sherry

            Judy? I too would love to move to FL but I too have no family or friends there. I’m interested to not be right on the water because of hurricanes. Do you have an area in mind? I have my husband and mother with me and I’ve been looking for a caravan of sorts (not literally but to meet up down there) or it can be where we follow each other or go down together.

        • Patti
          REPLY

          Janice: what part of Florida? I moved here last July and would love to find someone to do things with… flea markets, trips, bingo, whatever. I’m 62 and live in Cape Coral.

        • joan c carucci
          REPLY

          Hello Janice my name is Joan I also live in Florida, lake county..I am 70 a ypung 70 my children and grandchildren live in Florida but you know how it is everyone is busy..visits come down to Holidays,birthdays,mother’s…and once a month… my boyfriend passed away 3 years ago…it would be nice to have a good friend to talk with,go to lunch,play bingo,shop…my dearest friends have passed on and yes life gets a little lonely at times….

        • Susan
          REPLY

          Hi Janice – We are the same age. I am a still-working professional and live in S. Miami. What part of Florida are you in? My family is not nearby and I am a widow. I am thankful for my pets. I think the long weekends and holidays are the most difficult. I enjoy my home but would like to have more social things to look forward to with a good local friend similarly situated to break the monotony. Plays, concerts, museums, etc. I also recommend checking out Women’s Prosperty Network. You do not have to be a member to have access to inspiring talks on Wednesday’s via web or phone. Take care & s if in my area, feel free to reach out.

          • Sherry

            I would like to live in FL. Afraid of irreparable hurricane problems and gators so I’d need to avoid those. Wonder if there’s a way. I’d like to live near the Church of Perpetual Life which is mostly a gathering for hope of physical immortal;ity.

      • Paula
        REPLY

        I’m 61 and my husband of 27 years passed away 2 years ago all I have is my dog no friends my husband was my friend we did everything together we were perfect together. It still feels like yesterday I can’t believe it’s 2 years I feel more lonely as time goes on. It’s getting harder not easier. I can’t believe I’m totally alone in this world. I have nothing to look forward to except my faith when I die we’ll be together again. I would never want anyone else just him.

        • Sherry
          REPLY

          I hope depressed people are not looking forward to death because everyone they’ve ever loved has died. I think fortunately this isn’t common but I hate to see even one person waiting for death. We’re now in a transhumanist world, which simply means tech is increasing exponentially to the point where it’s improving or at least changing our lives to something sort of “futuristic”. With the anti aging medical control that we’re told will be available within 20 years, we may actually live so much longer that THAt age will actually be small compared to what we may have once accidents are under control. Bottom line is we will either be with our loved ones in an afterlife, either in heaven or here on earth by Godly intervention or we will live long enough to see people actually brought back to live via tech, but of course that will take hundreds, thousands, maybe millions of years. Search Aubrey de Grey, ira Pastor, Gennady Stolyarov, transhumanist political parties.

        • joan c carucci
          REPLY

          Hello Paula. Yes I know how you feel I lost the love of my life 3 years ago..its still hard to believe he is gone…we reconnected again on facebook after 37 years.we found that we still loved each other….but God had other plans . It seems good friends are hard to make everyone has their own group..yes having a pet is comforting but something is still lacking that human connection..someone to talk too,relate too,have a good laugh and time with,,,,

      • Carol
        REPLY

        I thought years ago that when my children grown and I’m retired
        I would move to be around them. Now at 65, retired, widowed …
        One daughter, family and child out of state. The other lives away.
        For 36 years I loved being a wife, mother, and career. Now I live alone in small town.
        How do I find a NEW self worth ?

      • frank
        REPLY

        i thought the same way my wife died suddenly while i was at work with my son at home.that was 12 years ago he is getting married now and i feel so lonely.i would never tell this but i have really missed.i always thought we would grow old together.i am going to be 72 but never get taken for that people think i am 50 i stay in good shape but i don’t know why.

  • Karen
    REPLY

    Hi, I just turned 61 and I am retired. I suffer with depression and anxiety which confines me to be honest. I have no children and family is not an option for me to have much of a social network. I just moved back to my home state and I feel terribly alone, it is just me and my cat here.
    I find myself overridden with anxiety about my will, beneficiarys, and especially an emergency contact. Plus I started worrying about being found here alone when I either get an attack or am dying/dead. Recently I fear driving which I never had problems with.
    Just to have someone check on me is a Godsend, and I am blessed to have an acquaintance that worries about me, and contacts me once in a while to touch bases. Church attendance is iffy at the most, and even that makes me anxious. I know if I was more social some of these problems would be fixed but with depression and anxiety issues it is easier said than done.
    Thank you for letting me vent a little.

    • Sherry
      REPLY

      Hi Karen, I have anxiety and depression too. I’m lucky still, to have my mom and husband with me. I hope I don’t lose them, as I have no kids, no local friends or other local family, just an extended family 150 miles away who I speak with occasionally by phone. You’re lucky you have someone to take care of your affairs if you need it and to check on you. I do not know if I would have this if my mom or husband were not here. I guess I’d try to have a doctor or lawyer take care of my affairs, if they even do that. It’s scary right now. I’ll soon be moving out of state so I’ll find out more then. I’m a transhumanist and unlimited life extensionist, so I’m positive about the future and still healthy as far as I know, maybe due to my belief in the possibility of living indefinitely.

      • Tina
        REPLY

        I’m 62 and have been single almost all my life. I had a relationship early on that was somewhat abusive and just never got over it. Time has flown by and I got sad when I realized I will most likely always be this way and got really anxious as well. But luckily I had super supportive co-workers who were right there listening, and reassuring me when I was about to retire and we stay in contact and go out to eat and movies, baseball games, casinos, whatever. I just retired and I don’t have them to laugh with everyday now so it’s hard sometimes. They are my second family. I could reach out much more than I do now and I know they’d be there for me thank God! We all need each other. I have a younger friend who is 40 who calls me about 6 times a week and we could talk for hours. Still there are certain days that are so lonely but I just try to get out into nature and/or go people watch and I feel better. I know God loves me and watches over me, so I count my blessings. I have a cat and birds and want a dog but can’t decide which kind! I talk to my animals a lot but I’m a communicator! My son will be thirty and lives 5 hours away but he’s been calling once a week which I appreciate. My feet hurt which is my main concern because I gained 60 pounds! Otherwise I would be way more active. I do need a dog to walk!

    • Sue
      REPLY

      Hello Karen,

      I feel the exact same way that you do, I’m 57 and facing divorce, which my husband just recently told me he wanted and doesn’t
      love me anymore…and is never home anymore. My world revolved around him and the things we did together. I have children that are loving but very far away. I have been mostly a homemaker with part time jobs. I try and practice breathing every day..I never
      thought I’d be alone like this. I’m sorry we’re both going thru this terrible ordeal with our health issues. Take Care

    • Toney
      REPLY

      Hello Karen
      How are you doing today? my name toney and I came across your profile on here and I will like to know more about you if you don’t mind.. kindly write me a mail on (twilliams44672@gmail.com ) I will be looking forward to read back from you soonest

      Toney

    • John Shay
      REPLY

      Hi Karen,
      My name is Jon and I am from Massachusetts and would love to have a cup of coffee with you some morning. I’m very lonely but not alone. My wife is on oxygen 24/7 and has been for 4 years and now the doc. tells me that Dementure is settling in so she does not go out at all. i’m not complaining , it’s just that after 4 yrs. I am going crazy . I need to talk to another and relax a little. If your in my local I would to see you. Keep each other company. Jon, ps thanks for listening.

      • Sherry
        REPLY

        John shay and all, anyone with a problem as severe as being on oxygen or getting dementure should consider a clinical trial. I’m not sure but I think the first phase is always for safety — to try to determine if the treatment will harm the patients and second or third phase is for efficacy, to determine how well it works as a treatment. I know about these things because health is a secular thing and I’m a secular person and in fact an unlimited life extensionist/amateur futurist.

    • Jenny
      REPLY

      Ahhhh ❤️ I wish I lived close to you , I would help you. we are totally different, I have family but they don’t care. I too suffer from anxiety, depression. PTSD, and bipolar disorder. If you ever need to talk . I will check back on here. This is the first time I’ve been on here. Your comment really touched my

  • Joli
    REPLY

    I am an early retired 58 years old single female, and currently find myself estranged by my (only) adult son. I always thought of myself enjoying my retirement with grandchildren. That has not been the case. I’ve had been too busy enabling my son on all levels. I know finally put my foot down and he has decided to “estrange himself” as a form of manipulation. My siblings have never been exemplary and were always quick to criticize and gloat. Now, that I do not have my son around I feel lonely and isolated from the world. I do not like self-pity but unfortunately I do feel this way. Not cool.

    • Katherine Brousseau
      REPLY

      I feel the same as you do. All of my children are grown and don’t have time for me. I am so lonely. I don’t like self pity either but I am desperately tired of coming home to staring at the walls.

      • Renda Cain
        REPLY

        I understand bout the kids. Sometimes, they are so busy that they honestly do not understand. My only son, who is married and wonderful, thinks I am his age. I am 7l, work full time, take care of many cats, my own and ferals, and on top of it, my job is stressful and I have a chronic very painful disease. He wants to understand but unless people have gone through things, they really cannot comprehend. If I was not sick and did not have to work, I would never be lonely as I am not looking for a man but would just join walking clubs, reading clubs, and the list goes on. You just have to volunteer or join groups or maybe even work part time. That always helps. I wish you the bes.

        • susie
          REPLY

          l am so sorry to any one feeling along,it is not a good feeling,my husband died five years ago,and we have two grown sons,they don,t live close by,in the last five years l have lost my mom to cancer,my husband died the next year of lung cancer,then two years ago my sister died of massive heart attack,then my brother died this pass June of massive heat attack,l have been feeling lonely,this year my goal is to get out more and make friends,and who knows maybe a new man in my life,l am 58,active ,l made the mistake of taking early retirement , but now l am thinking now is my time to travel,do any thing l want to do,so today l can say ‘Life is Good’and every day will be a new adventure ,I hope each and everyone can reach out and grab life by the shirt tails and swing like a child and keep a going

        • John
          REPLY

          I’m John and my 2 adult kids have moved 2 hrs away and see them maybe 4x a year I no that I’m lonely since I have lost my partner 5 yrs ago and tried social dating sites for a few years but could never get past a year with whoever I was with so I’m trying church and library but not easy to make friends do u have any ideas good luck I could use a nice person to communicate with I’m on Facebook John Bruno in Long Island look me up if you’re interested xo

          • Marie Vogus

            Hi John,
            I lost my husband 3yrs ago. Than my health went down hill. I have spinal stenosis and ended up in a wheel chair only till I can get strong again. I was the most out going person. Love being around people .came from a LG family. But i originally was born and raised in calif. My husband and I. Moved to N.W. AR. HERE 14yrs. Wasn’t expecting him to die! Most my dear. Friends all live in Calif. And stay in touch. My 3 daughters moved here 1 at a time. 2 married
            One lives down the street, with my 12 granddaughter. They come around the most. What caught my eye was your name Bruno. That was my favorite uncle Bruno. I’m 68. If you need to talk or text. Its in your court? If not thats fine too.
            Sincerely, marie

          • Joyce Kane

            Hi John, I, too, find myself lonely, but I am always up for going and doing things. I live in CT and would possibly chat with you.

      • Barbra
        REPLY

        I need to get a life, I feel I’m dying inside, no friends, lost my husband to cancer and now I’ve lost my only sister. I feel doomed.

        • Barbra
          REPLY

          I need to get a life, I feel I’m dying inside, no friends, lost my husband to cancer and now I’ve lost my only sister. I feel doomed.
          I’ve been widowed for a little over 41/2years, tried the dating thing , hasn’t worked out..??
          I’m 57 and live in Oregon . have a dog, tried the getting back in shape in 2016, now all I do is watch TV alone every night and don’t seem to have very many interests anymore. I would like a friend that I could do things with..??

          • Toney

            Hello Barbara
            How are you doing today? my name toney and I came across your profile on here and I will like to know more about you if you don’t mind.. kindly write me a mail on (twilliams44672@gmail.com ) I will be looking forward to read back from you soonest

            Toney

          • Diane Davis

            Your life seems about the same as mine, except I lost my husband to another woman, 6 years ago. I wish I could get a life also. The people I meet I don’t seem to have anything in common. I really would like to find someone to just go places with, I am so tired of going everywhere alone. I just stay home and sit in front of tv! I am in Augusta Ga sure would like to meet friends

          • Sue

            Hello Barbara, You sound just like me. I have such anxiety and fear..mainly because my husband of 29 years wants a divorce and doesn’t love me anymore. My life has been turned upside down, Like you I don’t have close friends and my children and sis live far away. I’m from California, most all of my mom’s sister and brother’s who are left are from Oregon. I miss the west so much. But being just a homemaker most of my life, and only part time jobs, I don’t know how I’m going to make it on my own..and the loneliness is killing me…I’m trying to breathe everyday. I hope you can find some comfort as I search too..

          • Jean

            HI, Barbra Though I am 10 years older than you, I could have written than same scenario (minus the husband- never had one- thank God for dogs). I live in Bend, Oregon, where do you live ? Would be too fortunate if you lived in Bend ! We could take our dogs walking the many trails around here, something I try to push myself outside to do and am getting a bit better at it. Had to fill out a form recently that asked for an Emergency Contact and realized there is no one so I put “911.” If you do happen to be in my part of the state, my email is: italia9@q.com All the best, Jean

        • Carol
          REPLY

          Barbara Hang in there be strong and don’t give up. You can message me when you are feeling down or lonely! You have friend in me. Praying for you. ☀️

        • CJ
          REPLY

          I need to get a life also. I have no friends, my adult children say they are too busy for anything to do with me. So their choice we are estranged to say the least. I have 1 sister that lives in another state that keeps pouring oil on an already toxic relationship. Days I just can’t think of a reason to get up. No where to turn.

        • Katherine P Brousseau
          REPLY

          I feel the same way you do. I am 62, widowed and all kids gone and married. I feel so alone and isolated. Wish I could find some friends and possible a soul mate, but I don’t get out much as I am depressed and the thought of fixing myself up to go out alone is something I am tired of doing.

        • lorraine drake
          REPLY

          hi John facebook is a lot of fun or barbara everyone is lonely in a different way I am stuck home with a 46 year old handi-capped son who is wonderful but I cant get out much because of that . so I have taken up sculpting and am learning an instrument by skype. some days are better then others but I find that getting out of the house whenever I feel lonely really helps a lot

      • Heidi
        REPLY

        They’ll be back when they age a bit. Did the divorce cause ripple effect of cooling off the mother child relationship? Give it time to heal. Were there problems in the home that caused them to become very independent and they are afloat but distant? That will heal with time, too. Best I can say. Be hopeful.

    • Sherry
      REPLY

      Joli, it’s really terrible, I know. I still have two household members and an extended family 150 miles away who I was never close with. The side of the family locally has never been very good, and without the older generation to hold us together, they have estranged mom and me. My husband has a similar situation with his family and he has no contact with any of them. It’s good you took a stand with your son. I did the same with my father, but he had abandoned me years before that. I had tried to reconnect with him, which was a mistake. I could easily end up alone as also I have no siblings. What is wrong with the families in the USA?????? I wonder if the same is happening elsewhere. It seems almost perfect in Asia in terms of families helping each other. Sherry in PA, soon moving South

      • Betty Piscitello
        REPLY

        I find every family has a story to tell and families are so broken today. So many kids think parties & drinking with their friends are more important then spending time with their parents. It’s today’s society. So sad, your not alone.

      • Susan
        REPLY

        Yep, but the kids want everything you worked really hard for the very second you die. These, children have a sense of entitlement.

        • Sherry
          REPLY

          susan, although I have no chldren, I like children but i like adults much less than children. Many change for the worse when they’re no longer children. I have heard of many cases you’re describing. The kids treat the parents like garbage but come around for the inheritance like vultures on a dead animal.

    • John
      REPLY

      I’m John and my 2 adult kids have moved 2 hrs away and see them maybe 4x a year I no that I’m lonely since I have lost my partner 5 yrs ago and tried social dating sites for a few years but could never get past a year with whoever I was with so I’m trying church and library but not easy to make friends do u have any ideas good luck I could use a nice person to communicate with I’m on Facebook John Bruno in Long Island look me up if you’re interested xo

      • Sherry
        REPLY

        Hi John, I’m now not totally alone but the pattern has been all my life to lose more people in my life than I gain. What so far has helped me is that I’m a transhumanist and unlimited life-extensionist. Actually it’s possible to live for an indefinite period, maybe even forever. To be true to this belief however, you need to mainly live for yourself — not that we don’t need people as we do but this secular value may help during the times we’re lonely. If you’re already into the life extension mindset or haven’t but it sounds appealing, please reply. People put down immortalists but very rarely are any suicidal. abuse substances, attempt to harm an innocent person or pet, become obese, etc.

    • Joe Hargadon
      REPLY

      Hi I’m a sixty-year-old combat wounded veteran and wheelchair-bound. I spend most of my time alone because my I desire to be somewhere convenient and adapted to my disability. It’s not fun I’ve been this way for a long. Of time. You have to reach out to people. I think the best thing that happened to me was I found a power greater than myself many years ago. But not many people want to be with a sixty-year-old butchered in a wheelchair.

    • Adela
      REPLY

      Oh sue, I’m so sorry for you. But let this experience be a teacher for you in the future – NOT to rely so strongly and exclusively on someone else for your happiness!!! Even if your husband didn’t divorce you….he could have had an accident and die, or worse, he’d get some long time illness and YOU would have to spend the entire rest of HIS life attending him!!! He wants a divorce? GREAT!!! Put on your beautiful smiling face, your nice sexy clothes and nice makeup and go out and enjoy yourself!!!

      Of course, you want to join many good groups according to age range, location, etc. i.e.: meetup.com among them. Then you’ll always have people to go out with and even find a close friend among them! :o)

      As to many of the comments here who said to be afraid not to have someone to check up on them in case of accident, illness or death….I have the very same fears as I have no family and from all the friends I always had….some moved out of the country and some have died. AND….I’m probably the veyr oldest of all here!!! So, here’s what I did besides joining as many groups as I can and going out with them to the places I choose:

      I sought for a long time and found a reasonable fee estates and trust attorney who, while she won’t be checking up on me to see that I’m ok, she has made all the necessary documents so that I may die in peace knowing things will be done as I wrote them on these documents. In addition to writing my will and my trust (the latter to avoid probation), she also will be my executor, health care proxy, and living will. You can get a lot of info from the good ol’ internet. :)

      GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF US!!! :o)

      • Adela
        REPLY

        (I hope I clicked on the proper “Reply” for this to go to Sue but I hope more see this info too. But I forgot to add an important item:

        I made myself a purse size of my living will with the direct contact of my estates and trust attorney which I carry in all my purses and bags, suitcases, all over my apartment, etc. so that if I die or become incompetent in a pubic place, my attorney will be notified instantly. The problem is if this happens in my apartment…..for this one needs a close friend. OR, maybe paying a neighbor a token fee to be checked up say, every other day or something? I haven’t yet figured this out but I’d love to do it soon. :-)

    • Patti
      REPLY

      Joli: I too am retired….62… and moved to Florida to start a new life. I didn’t think Being alone could feel so lonely when all your family (what’s left of it) is 1,000 miles away.

  • Immy
    REPLY

    I am 71, an introvert and don’t mind being at home. I don’t have friends, i was never close to my coworkers ( too much constant gossip and small talk). I lived here over 50 years, originally from germany, but always had different opinions and ideas than people I knew.
    I had to quit my job in may to take care of my husband, but then he passed away in September. Now I am told that I need to socialize but never was good at it to begin with. I am concerned tho that i cognitively decline if I don’t. I would like to meet someone for coffee ever now and then. I live in NW Arkansas.
    Immy

    • Sherry
      REPLY

      I’m having trouble finding the new comments on this thread and at least one other stated the same problem. I just hit the first “reply” at the top of the entire thread, not knowing what would be better. This is a wonderful thread and I hope we can all somehow use it more easily.

    • Betty Piscitello
      REPLY

      sorry to hear you live so far away, I just turned 75. I would love to meet a friend like you. My 2 best friends dies last year, i’m so lost. I find its so hard to meet some one new you can do things with. I live in ca. would love to find a lady to travel with. Good Luck. bttypsctll@aol.com

      • Sherry
        REPLY

        Betty, I don’t reply to many posts on this thread but when you said both of your friends died last year it reminded me of my own fear of losing both my household members, the only people I have in the area and the only people I’ve been very close with recently. I fear his because although I’m disabled I seem to be the healthiest of the 3 of us here. But it’s good I’m reminded sometimes because it keeps me aware of what can happen and therefore keeps me mentally as prepared as I can be. Hope you make more friends, both online and offline.

    • Teresa
      REPLY

      You sound so much the way I feel. The only difference is I didn’t come from Germany.lol TeresaI to quit my job so I could take care of my dying husband.

    • Hiltrud Wolf
      REPLY

      Hallo Immy, sorry that your husmand passed away. – I am Hiltrud from Germany and like to read in this page, it inspires me. What you write sounds familia to me. I am 65 and life alone.- To have a coffee with you is not possible, but if you like an e-mail contact you can write to me.- (haritawolf@arcor.de)

      • Dave Fischer
        REPLY

        Hello Hiltrud, I just read your thread and thought you interesting. I’m 62 year old single man, recently had to take early retirement. I’ve worked all my life in German owned/run tool & die shops. Where do you live? I have Spinal Stenosis, and don’t get out much at all. Wonder if you like to e-mail back and forth. Dave at: sammydudleylancelot@yahoo.com

    • Helen
      REPLY

      I hope you find someone to have coffee with, Immy, I wish we were closer! I’m same age and also an introvert. I manage to keep busy, mainly because I have pets to care for, I go to the gym sporadically, to church regularly though I’m a late-blooming Christian, so it’s still all new to me. I have no family here, my neighbors have their own families and lives to live so there’s really no one. I’ve recently found out that I have a spot on my lung and my internist will check me again in two months to see if it’s growing. I have another appointment with him this week to tell him I don’t want to wait 2 months, I’d like some action now. I’ve lost two sisters and a father to cancer. I don’t want to wait. Up to this I thought I was doing pretty good health wise, but apparently not. Meanwhile, I’ve been trying to figure out how to meet other people, I’d love to have someone to “hang out” with. It’s really difficult. It seems everyone has their quota of friends and don’t want any more. Anyway, hope you find someone nearby for coffee. Best wishes, Helen

    • Earl
      REPLY

      Dear Immy,

      I have found that sometimes you just have to be your own best friend. In today’s society loneliness will be part of almost everybody’s life because of technology. I am retired military and a friend of mine married a lady from Germany. She is a beautiful soul and he is a happy man at least the last time I saw him he was. This is all the way from Georgia. Just wait until tomorrow everything will be OK.

  • Sally Lujan
    REPLY

    I am a 60 year old lady working full time. I would like to meet a Christian man with whom we can have a wonderful friendship. If it is supposed to be maybe love. I live in L.A California. I love moderate hiking in the beautiful outdoors. My first commitment is To Christ, and giving back to others. I have very few relatives which makes the holidays lonely. If nothing else chatting friends.

    • Sherry
      REPLY

      Cindy, Not sure you’re the one replying about the Golden Girls, but whoever it is, anyone with an empty bedroom or a friend who is also lonely and doesn’t want to live alone can start house-sharing. Everyone says NOT CRAIGSLIST! but if you can find someone to get to know for a long time, someone who does not have a lease ending next month or who needs to escape NOW from a bad situation, you can make a friend, if not a future roommate. I will be putting up local (physical) notices, trying to find people on Craigslist and networking…anything safe and socially acceptable, right? :) It may take time, even many years but if nothing is done, nothing will happen. :) To chat about house-sharing or anything to do with technology, another favorite topic of mine, please email: guessmyneeds@yahoo.com

        • Kathy
          REPLY

          To Effie: I live in Virginia Beach near Town Center. My husband and I moved here from NJ. Have you heard of meet up groups? I am a member of one for female baby boomers. Great group of women from all backgrounds. We get together for lunch, HAPPY hours,walks. I have made some friends through this website.

      • Trish
        REPLY

        Hi Sherry, great networking idea. Looking to move and share house, but dont want to go thru craigs list, little bit scary. I am living alone now, and have been for a few years, and I hate it. Kids grown and are very busy with their own lives. Any suggestions on how to find a roommate and a safe place.

        • Sherry
          REPLY

          /Trish, I will also try to meet a lot of people in person and get to know them. Living with friends is a safe way to get good housemates but you need to know the people are really good enough and compatible. I think this simply takes time. I hope to become a social butterfly after I move. You need to know the people a long time and do background checks early on so you don’t waste too much time and energy. let me know how you do. guessmyneeds@yahoo.com

        • Sherry
          REPLY

          Trish, also curious where you’re living and if you would ever consider relocating to another area and live in someone else’s home or be a co-owner of a home with a person, family, etc. ? I want to have an “immortality” community home for people like myself who are life-extensionists with the goal to live forever, even though it seems unrealistic. (We may never get world peace either but there have been scads of organizations working on it.)

    • Barbara
      REPLY

      I just moved back to Michigan my husband passed away in Tennessee I live there for 5 years I felt so lonely I thought it would be better if I move back to Michigan near my children and my grandchildren but that isn’t working out too well because they all work most of the time I very seldom see them I’m get snowed in and I have to hire somebody to shovel me out I think I’m going to move back to Tennessee maybe not where I was at but I like Tennessee but no I don’t have any friends here and no one to talk to and yes it gets very long. What’s the living conditions in Michigan are very high if you’re living on a fixed income they are a lot cheaper in Tennessee the weather is a lot nicer in Tennessee if you live near Knoxville Tennessee there’s a lot to do so I’m thinking in March I’ll put the house on the market and move back down to Tennessee.

  • patty
    REPLY

    is this really working? if so i am lonely here in philly and need someone to cheer me up and possibly a man and hope i will get one.. my addy is principledprincess@yahoo

  • Otilia
    REPLY

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    skill and experience. There are numerous internet poker books available
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  • Karmen Franco
    REPLY

    HI, I am 66 years old, so far in good health raised 2 daughters by myself. My husband passed away when he was 40 years old. I never re-married nor lived with a man. As a Social Worker I dealt with a lot of physical and sexual abusive males.
    My girls are 33 and 36 years old, they have their own lives and I find myself alone every day. I do volunteer a lot, but I go home to an empty home. It’s so hard to find a companion since all the males I have met are looking for younger woman. I look younger then my age, but as soon as they find out I am 66 years old they disappear. Loneliness is hard sometimes more then others. I believe in God and I pray a lot, but I guess some are not fortunate to find a companion. I will keep the faith that I will find someone until the time comes to meet my maker. I want to thank every one that wrote on this website because I realized I am not alone feeling lonely.

    • malcolm
      REPLY

      I am a 66year old man and live alone i have a son 36 but have not seen him for 10 years. I know what loneliness is like i am average health and look more like in my 50s but i don’t go out and socialise and feel lonely all the time.

      • Judy bell
        REPLY

        I am 78 years old and would love a friend to talk to.I have 4 children , all grown and busy with their own lives.and the older I get it only gets harder.

        • Candy
          REPLY

          Judy,

          Where do you live? My mother is 76 years old and We lost Dad about 2 years ago. My Mom is the Sweetest person, but lately seems she has been stating how lonely she is. I would love for her to have a friend to go to movies, dinner, etc with but not sure how to find other healthy 70+ individuals that would enjoy the same. She is in Thornton Colorado. If you have any suggestions I would appreciate hearing them. Thank you.

          • TRISH Rakow

            Hi Judy,

            I am a 63 year old divorcee, When I first got divorced and moved from our home to another town, I went online to sites called Meetups, to meet people that liked to do the things I liked to do, listening to cover bands, and dancing, or going to the movies. I ended up meeting a nice group of men and women who lived near me. We have been friend for 6 years now. We do many more than just dinner and dancing. We have traveled together as well. Just a thought. Good luck with your mom.

            Trish

        • Victoria Taylor
          REPLY

          HI Judy my name is Victoria and I’m 57 years old. I have 3 sons but they’re all grown and gone. My husband works constantly and it gets so lonely for me at times. To make it worse, my little dog passed away a month ago. She was 14 years old. I sometimes feel like life is just passing me by. Anyway, I would enjoy a friend to talk to as well.

        • Cheryl
          REPLY

          Hi Judy, I just found this page this evening as I researched wondering if I am losing whats left of my little mind. :)
          My daughter and 3 grandaughters came to stay with me a couple of months ago due to marital issues. I had just moved from my house into a 2 bedroom mobil, and was not quite settled as it took a lot for me, to make this move. then they all went home, which is a great thing, I do hope and pray they can work thru it. But it has been hard for me to adjust yet again to moving, and trying to feel settled, and now totally alone again except for my issabella my dog…. she is good therapy and I try to walk her everyday for her and for me.. it does help.. funny how all our relationships with our kids and grandkids change over time as we get older and they are getting older but they are still our kids. sometimes its hard to reach out as they are all so busy with their own lives, that is why this may be a nice way to chat and connect with others regarding all lifes on going change… Send me a note some time… :) keep smiling and when you get stressed we get busy :)

        • Gloria
          REPLY

          I m kind of in the same boat. I m a 62 yr old female living alone and haven t spoken to my daughter in years. I like playing cards with some female friends but don t go out much other than church on Sunday. There just aren’t t many men in this age group who aren t married. It is what it is! I didn t choose to be alone but here I am! Granted, it would be much better to share everyday life with somebody, but what are we to do?

          • Pat

            My husband has been in a nursing home for a year. My whole life changed. I had friends that use to get together with me and craft. I had to stop doing that but I thought they would still be my friends. But I don’t hear from them anymore. At first I was still cheerful and hopeful that I would make new friends and have things to do. But now it seems like an awful cycle. The more alone I am, the more depressed I get and less confident I am getting. I wish my phone would ring or I had future plans.

            The friends I thought I had, the ones that knew my husband never even call to see how he is doing. It breaks my heart.

            I was,wondering if anyone has or is going thru this and how they are handling it.

            Thanks
            Pat

          • Trish

            I am in my early 60’s. I am very active and love to do just about anything, but it is a little hard when you dont have a partner. I really dont go anywhere to meet people and am brand new to this site. Just kinda stumbled onto it by accident, or maybe not. I live alone except for my two little dogs, who are great company. I was married way longer then I should of been, and finally realized as much as I prayed the nasty, selfish, dishonest, unloving to everyone except himself was never going to change.( And the list goes on ) So I had to. I loved being married, I love the family life. And envied couples that had a loving caring relationship. Age is just a number to me, kindness is what is important. I am glad I found this site. Smile and be happy. If anyone would like to chat, my e mail is neeewh@gmail. Would love to hear from you.

          • Joyce

            How do you know you are older than anyone you speak to I am almost 83 and lost my son and my daughter many years ago then my husband died 13yrs ago I live on my own with my dog and two cats they keep me company I couldn’t live without them do you have any pets I live in Norfolk in England but I was born in London where do you live

        • Barbara
          REPLY

          Hi Judy, I am 69 yrs old and live in ca,I am retired. my husband passed 15 yrs ago.I was the type that never had time to sit and have coffee with friends.all ways busy. I’m paying for it dearly now . kids are all grown the only one i am close to is my granddaughter. I am in good health but so lonely and bored. Some days i think I will go out of my mind. My dog and I go to the river every morning where at least I can say Hi to people but of course they have their on lives. I would love to find someone to do things with.would love for you to email me at barbarahatton1948@gmail.com would love to talk.

      • Maria
        REPLY

        Hi Malcom,
        I know how you feel. I too have a very adult son, and have spoken once since 2007.
        This life is lonely but I do put on my makeup, dress up and go out, even if it’s to the shopping centre.
        I have a dog that makes sure he is walked, if not he will follow me around the house making me feel guilty until he gets his walk.
        I am searching the Internet for active adult clubs.
        I’m not looking for a man, just friends.
        You can send me an email if you like.
        Regards,
        Maria

        • Renda Cain
          REPLY

          i am 7l and live alone and work 50 hours a week. I would love a female friend to talk to and go out to dinner and movies with. I love animals and am fairly conservtive.

          • Susan

            You sound like me. I am thesame age and live alone, which is something I never thought would happen. My children both live in the next town, but they both have children and full time jobs I love the animals too, they are the best company, do you have pets now? I live in a co op building, no dogs allowed, it would be nice to have one. Id like to hear from you..

          • Rita Hanson

            Renda,

            Where do you live? I live in Tyler, Texas. I am retired and live alone. I would love to have someone with whom to go to dinner, a movie, or just to talk. If you live close to me, get in touch.

            Rita

          • Char

            Hi My name is Char. & happy to be here. I’m 68, widowed & I do get lonely too. I never thought I would as I was always surrounded by family. Like some of you, my kids are grown & I miss the days when the grandkids were little & I was a big part of their world. I have some friends, all married so it’s not the same since my husband passed away. Be fun to chat with some new friends

        • Judy Bell
          REPLY

          Dear Maria, I live in Columbia ConnecticutI would love to be your Moms friend. Too bad we live so far away, but I will be thinking of her. I know the loneliness! My heart goes out to her and I hope a ice lady reaches out to her! Always Judy

        • Gail
          REPLY

          Looks like alot of us are all in same boat. I have 2 grown children that quit coming to see or call me when i stopped giving them financial help . Im 66 live alone in orlando but tired of heat . I wanna move to nc or tn and see snow would love to have a roommate female thats active

          • Rita Hanson

            Do any of the women live near Tyler, Texas? I am 69 yrs old and my husband of 48 yrs passed away 2 yrs ago. We had a great marriage for 48 yrs and now, I am extremely lonely. I do have friends but most are married. My email is ritahanson30@gmail.com If you are interested in getting to know one another, email me.

            Thanks,
            Rita

      • Vivian La Ferla
        REPLY

        I also live alone and have children 33 and 26. I’m still working but evenings and dinners areally lonely. I tried the dating site and it was awful.
        I feel your pain.

        • sall Bergin
          REPLY

          Hi Vivian,

          Husband left for another 8 years ago and at first I worked, worked, worked to keep busy and deal with it. After a year, I was so glad he left. He was dishonest and had taken most of our money to give her.
          I have always enjoyed people.
          I retired early as he said we were moving to another state and that was a lie and now I cannot work in the public school system.
          I have substituted for five years and a couple of weeks ago I will not do it anymore. It is a thankless job but all I can get. There are no jobs in this farm town and the people gear to their families and friends they have known for their lifetime.
          I moved here two years ago to be near my daughter and several months ago she has decided not see me.
          This has put me in a crisis mode but there is nothing I can do.
          I find I am facing such isolation and with moving to an economically deprived area there is not much to do.
          I have not gone out to dinner, had a cup of coffee or a conversation with a body in years. I exercise an hour each day for 30 years, am 71 outgoing, interested in so much.

          I have come to terms that I must begin putting me first and not to sure what to do with this realization. Also, I have begun to know how much isolation I am involved in and how it is impacting me. I go to the library just to use the computer as I have no internet ( money) and to be with people. I have done tremendous amount of volunteer work for the last ten years. Need a job as I do not have funds but hiring my age is unheard of. Have tried for 3 years here.

          We all have such harsh situations but I recently decided I want to enjoy the rest of my life. Perhaps I need to move but I do not know where. I wish the people I am reading about lived closer. I guess I am putting me first now and know I have to love me. I do not want to die and know I stayed in this town that is so limited and the people here do not gravitate to new people.

          It is my realization that most likely there are lonely people here I do not know with circumstances and there are so many as described by the people on this site. The media and the life steam is all abut the young and the consumerism so even as a Senior much is focused on the young.

          The isolation in our society is so prevailing and it is hidden.
          As a Dr. of education I am a researcher. And we are not the priority of our society. This is the hidden population.
          sbergin 473@gmail.com

          • Trish

            Hi Sall bergin, how are you doing? I feel your pain, I am also alone, and hate it. I loved being married, and hung in there way longer then I should of. Hoping and praying everyday things would change. And a very nasty person would suddenly wake up and change. I have alot of regrets that I didnt leave sooner. Was married to an extremly selfish, unsenitive, vulgar nasty man. Who on the outside hid it very well. Where do you live. I am in a nice state where there is alot to do, but looking to move, only for the fact is, I dont have piece of mind with him so close. Dont let your daughter upset you, kids can be very cold hearted and selfish at times, it is really sad, but kids now a days seem like they dont have the same values. I am glad to hear that you are putting yourself first. That is something I had never done, and because of it was in a unhappy place. But am working on that now. I would love to chat with you, if you want, e mail me my e mail is neeewh@gmail.com. Smile and hang in there.

        • Adela
          REPLY

          Where do you live Vivian? I live in NYC and hope to hear from anyone from that city. For those of us who seek friends from this thread it would be nice and important to indicate the city where they live don’t you think?

          CYNTHIA of the Bronx in NYC, if you can read this, please contact me here: Adela at: pisardela@gmail.com.

          ANYONE ELSE WHO LIVES IN NYC PLEASE CONTACT ME so we can exchange likes and dislikes, etc? As a preview:

          I’m a female in the 80s and with no health problems. Very active taking aerobics 3 times a week, dance international folk dancing, I’m a lousy bowler but love it, like Karaoke, ADORE ALL animals, love the water, swimming, etc. Not fond of loud, violent and pornographic movies, plays, etc. I adore classical music, the 40s musicals and grand opera and classical ballet….If you respond I’d like to know what things you enjoy so that I may also try them?

          Adela

      • Peggy
        REPLY

        I kno how you feel. I am 72, widowed since I was 65, and worked until I was 70. I feel pretty good overall, can do most anything I want to and everyone says I look good (but I wouldn’t expect them to say I look bad) . I am reticent by nature and that has not helped me at all. My 4 kids don’t have any time for me , honestly. They are so “busy” it has hurt my self esteem unbelievably. They never even offer me a plate of food.. I found myself groveling for attention from them but have just about got that under control. I tried a dating site once and it is so true men that are my age don’t want women that are my age. The whole thing kind of humiliated me. I talk to my cats or my chickens. My first husband was in the army and we never stayed anywhere long enough for me to forge a lasting friendship. My 2nd husband was very possessive and I worked full time I just didn’t fight him over it. Now he is gone, the work friends that I was close to are still working and don’t have time for a friend who can’t talk shop with them. And you cannot make an old friend. The more I am at home the less I want to go anywhere. This is not as big a problem in the summertime as it is in the winter when the days are so dreary and the nights are so long and you can’t go outside. So I just go from day today doing the best I can and trying to make the best of it. I am so lonely though

        • Rita Hanson
          REPLY

          Hi Peggy,

          I know how you feel. I have been widowed 2 yrs and I retired to take care of my husband in his final year. Now, I have moved from Houston to Tyler, Tx to be near my Sister. My 2 Sons are grown and are married with lives of their own. They rarely come to see me. They are busy with their careers and their children. I hate being alone. I stay busy with quilting and going out with some of my friends but nothing seems to cure this lonlyness. I just feel a deep sadness. Email me or call. Would love to talk.

          Rita

        • Karen L. McCutcheon
          REPLY

          Peggy, I truly enjoyed your message. Now I say enjoy but felt so close
          To all you had said. First of all I hold a lot of love in my heart. You didn’t
          Give your age and you know something it doesn’t matter. We feel as we
          Feel, regardless of age. I won’t accept you can’t love someone if you are
          A certain age. Elders are here and they have every right to a happy, loving
          Life as much as anyone else. Peggy I believe that not one senior should be
          Shoved in a corner on Thanksgiving or Christmas like a baby in a high chair.
          I have seen this over and over and my heart goes out to the,. They can’t be
          Included in the conversation and I believe they would have so much to say
          And people would be In awe of how much they know. My daughter has said
          Many times Mom now we c.an go out to lunch and do so much together. Yes
          She works but does have spare time. The promise of going out to lunch never
          Happens. People see to think it won’t matter to them as they are probably
          Tired. I feel livid with anger over this. Tired, no totally bored over doing
          Nothing. I am a Christian and pray so much to God for someone to love
          And bring them happiness in turn. Peggy we can’t let people know our own
          Feelings better then we do. I am in Oregon. I truly wish I knew where more
          People lived. I hope you will give me your thoughts on my message. Peggy
          We are here for a reason. Never let anyone tell you different. Ok

          Karen L McCutcheon. Write me please. Ok. GOD loves us ,
          Love to

      • frank
        REPLY

        i lost my wife when i just turned sixty.i have a son 33 he just got engaged i work 5 days a week i am going to be 71 but don’t look it i am lonely without my wife my brother tells me never retire i would go crazy but he doesn’t understand he has a wife i would like friends to go to dinner with all my friends are dead now i miss a female to talk to about anything. frank

        • Shirley
          REPLY

          Hi Frank, I am 63 going on about 16 lol. I dont look my age and hard to find anyone that likes to have fun.. Cruising in my yellow Camaro convertible keeps me sane! I lost my husband 2 years ago.. ✌️

          • Gloria

            hi frank, senior planet emailed me. I like your age. However, I live in Virginia Beach. You live in Michigan. Sorry too far

          • Erika Hanson

            Hi Frank,
            Where do you live? I am in Eugene Oregon .
            Maybe by now you have met someone to go and do things with??
            As the post was a few months ago.
            It’s hard to tell who is getting a response on here, but I am working on it. Lol
            Smiles
            Erika

          • Helen

            This is for Gloria, I can’t tell whose “reply” button I’ve hit! I’m in Live Oak, Texas, right outside SA. Maybe we could chat once in awhile? I never considered myself a lonely person, but since at 71, I now have health issues which make me feel that I’m very alone. No one to talk to about worries, etc. I’d just like someone to “visit” with sometimes. I have pets to take care of, I try to go to the gym but still haven’t made it on a regular basis. I’m interested in a lot of different things but having money to do and go is always an issue. Anyway, if you’d like to chat my email is gertrude712@gmail.com. Best wishes, Helen W……I noticed there’s another Helen so I’m Helen W.

        • H Anthony Fabiano
          REPLY

          i am 72 lost my wife 6 years ago after being married from 1963 to 2012,i have done well in life i will share my life with a nice woman. I love travel
          going out for dinner and you never know what might happen love might happen 1 more time,,,plus i would be able to help a woman that m9ght a hand with bills or grand kids lol to make a happy family i hope i might find a woman that between the both we might finish our lives with being someone she can hold on to and not worry, i know this might sound strange but if everyone was like me and maybe her see how all would be different in life..

          • Shirley Barbre

            Hi Anthony, my name is Shirley. I lost my husband 2.5 years ago.. I still work so that keeps me occupied. I like to have fun and would like to meet someone with a sense of humor and similar interests.. I am a young 64 year old lady. I live in Illinois. Where do you live?

          • Martha brown

            Hi
            I’m a 66 year old small women
            I love everyone that seemed to be my downfall
            I.was married 32 years to a narsist
            I just want to be happy no money required
            I live make8ng do with what I have
            I gave him everything I the divoice I just wanted out of a loveless violent marriage
            Money to me is evil but necessary for bills
            I don’t need fancy things
            I live buying second hand
            I’m just tired of being used
            I just want someone who loves me to hold me at nite and kiss me for no reason
            I’m a person who’s always trying to help others instead of myself I know I need to stop it because I always get taken advantage of but I also know it’s not going to stop because that’s who I am
            I would live to talk when you have the time
            Love
            Martha
            Nickname
            Marley

        • hhh
          REPLY

          why are you folks so darn needy? Why must you be around people to feel good? Nowadays real friends dont exist. Their company is shallow. Focus instead on your self worth, learning, traveling, eating, music etc. If you have good healthcare, you already have a luxury many dont have. If you really need sex, just offer sex directly. Believe me men will hump anyone. He may not want to go out with you (bc men are immature and want to put out a certain image) but in private yes he will sex you. Im glad at 33 i am already self sufficient. being alone older will not bother me in the least.

          • Erika Hanson

            Hi HHH,
            In all due respect, needy does not equal lonely or visa vetsa.
            It is great at “”33” you have things so worked out.
            I’m not saying it in a rude context, but come you age 63 as myself. Then you can review where you are at in comparison.
            At 33, I had everything figured out as well as thought things would not change.
            Smiles
            Erika

          • Sherry

            hhh, looks like you’ve left a couple of posts. It’s harder to have kids and lose then, especially by death or being disowned for no good reason. You’re smart if you can be happy by yourself. If you’re happy living alone or sharing expenses with a roommate, those can be god too. I don’t want to live alone, as I’ve been born with a depression gene. My mom’s side is riddled with depression, thus the community home I am planning. Just hope I can find people for it when I soon relocate.

          • hhh

            erica im 33 and I grown accustomed to having no relationship or friends. at all. by choice, because Im a misanthrope. I can understand how PHYSICAL limitations may come up in the future, which is why taking care of yourself and having health insurance is important. But most of the older people here arent talking about serious physical limitations that make it impossible to live. nor excruciating physical pain. nor being homeless. See those are REAL problems and I would only worry in older age if I didnt have those basic needs met. What most of you guys are whinging about is being “lonely” because nobodys around. I say who cares? if you eat, have a roof, healthcare and still get around, then why does it matter ic others are around or not? getting to enjoy your own company and entertaining yourself is important. I dont think i will have any problem aging alone as long as my physical needs are met. Ive already lived without partnern kids or friends for 8 years. I even work on my own too.

        • Erika Hanson
          REPLY

          Hi Frank,
          Where do you live?
          There is not much rhyme or reason to the responses.
          I can’t tell who is responding to what.
          I’m in Eugene Oregon
          Erika

          • Sherry

            hhh, you do have a point. Seems most on here have enough money for necessities but many have been disowned or simply cast aside in every way by their families, even their own children and some don’t even know why they’ve seemingly been disowned. I don’t know why they have no friends. I DO have a severe physical disability: an “invisible” but very real spine problem which limits my sitting time to 1/5 hours a day and standing is even worse. I go shopping with a lot of pain, strain….after 30 minutes leaning over a shopping cart, I feel like I’d give anything to get off my feet if I had to! Also the “car culture”, the need to go almost everywhere by car…I hate it! I like public transportation, but with the extreme cold most of the year here in PA and some extreme heat, the only good public transportation is taxi service! So I think here I’ve defended both you and some of the older people on here. And btw, i’m 64, and have had sitting disability with mild standing disability starting at age 51.

        • Rita Hanson
          REPLY

          Hi Frank,
          I feel your pain. It isn’t easy to live alone after a spouse dies. Get involved with your church and check out some of the over 60 groups in your town. By all means, get out of the house. Good luck to you.

          Rita

        • Jolie
          REPLY

          Hi Fran

          How are you

          What State do you live in ? I live inUpland,Ca
          Calif … I am looking for long term relationship
          I work in the medical field long hours but that all
          I do ..
          Please feel free to contact me …

        • Karin
          REPLY

          Good morning Frank. I’m a widow living in Florida. Working and happy go lucky lady. But, I would like to meet a good man that really needs a good friend. I don’t have a problem being single, but I miss sharing my life, with somebody that has the same needs. Today I turned 63, still good looking, abd healthy. I hope everything is Ok with you. Karin

      • T
        REPLY

        Hi Malcom
        Your comment made me sad. I do understand. I have no obligations with my 4 adult children and I do not see them. They are busy with their own lives. I recently moved in a 55 year old community which has it’s ups and downs. I come from the health care industry, later law enforcement so I can be a loner although the park has lots to offer plus I’m in the hub of a great city. Maybe I’m still getting use to being alone. I thought I was way past that. I feel like time is flying and my money is not. Would that help? Yes I think so. I just do not like feeling depressed.

        • Erika Hanson
          REPLY

          Hi T,
          Erika here. I am really sorry to hear about your back spasms be problem. That must be really hard.
          The people who have had children who just go about their own business with not a thought of alone be mom or dad, well
          I would hope that they change. I just lost my mom in June. She was 95. I’m the baby of 4, and I think the most devestated.
          Fortunately for her she was still about her own mind and mostly independent. She had a major stroke and passed in a few hours.
          I totally love people, but just woyld like a guy to be married to this last 3rd of my life.
          The -I guess guy HHH, it’s sad that some people don’t need others. I think that we were created to look be people but the world is looking dim.
          I have taken notice-finally to the local parks and recreation that have many coffee l trips and events. I am signing up for those!!
          Anyone live in Eugene Oregon? I’m always happy to walk or if you are bound to your home- let me visit you!
          Smiles
          Erika

      • SherryM
        REPLY

        Hello Malcolm, I am new to this forum and I wrote you a very very lengthy message and somehow or other I clicked something and lost it…. so basically I wanted to thank you for sharing your thoughts and your feelings. I too 66 and I live alone and I have no children. I Went through a divorce a few years ago that I did not want and I am recovering from betrayal and trying to start over.
        I hope I can figure out how we can possibly communicate again and bless your heart and I wish you the best.
        SherryM

        • Sherry
          REPLY

          To Sherry, Sue or anyone in or near Myrtle Beach, SC, or who would considering living there, I’m in PA near Philly but I hate it here and love the South and beachy areas. No kids, very little family left, feel very vulnerable and I’m disabled, living on pension and SS. Landlord wannabe.

          • Connie

            I am a 66 year old widow in good health. Moved back to California from Arizona after husband was called to heaven. Very interested in communicating with other seniors. Life is too short.

          • Sherry

            This is to Sued, Since I’m physically disabled, I’d need someone to do most of the physical work to run a bnb. It’s not a bad idea once I have people to help. These people will be relied on 100% so they must live in. Also I need general helpers around the home almost full time. It’s actually for my mom and husband also since we’re all physically disabled. I would need to learn how to screen overnight guests. Not sure even how to screen the live-in workers. I would like to have a community home more than any other type because I need people to count on to be around. Bnb I guess is what people used to call a boarding house. Open to this in the future.

          • Diane

            Have you moved to Myrtle beach or Charleston yet? I am in Augusta Ga not to far . Hope you have found friends

          • Jan

            I agree, the common thread is everyone is looking for someone to communicate with. Simple friendship. It should be easier than it seems to be.
            I’m a 74 year old widow in Charlotte,NC. I have family here & friendships but everyone has lonely times. Things change unexpectantly when you become a widow.
            I’m happy to email anyone who wants a pen pal. Or have coffee with anyone in my area.

        • Nikki
          REPLY

          Hi Connie,

          63 living in So. Ca also. Looking for companion for movies, dinner, theater and maybe some travel adventures. Single mother divorced since 86, never remarried. 2 boys one I lost in 2007, although my youngest is still very attentive I’m looking for someone whose my age and still wants to enjoy life.
          coolkizzy1@gmail.com

        • Dee
          REPLY

          Me Too! I just wish I had someone to talk with – anyone! My family members are gone , hubby passed on a few years ago. I have only one really good friend and she moved years ago with her family. I’m 70, still working (thank God), and healthy but feel very lonely.

      • HEIDEMARIE COMPTON
        REPLY

        Hi,Malcom I m with you on this ,loneliness and grown Children. I’m financially ok but I need a friend not a lover.I’m 65 live by myself with 3 dogs and one cat. I still like to have fun but all my friends are soo much younger.I hope we both find a companion.

      • Erika Hanson
        REPLY

        Hi Malcolm,
        I am age 63, 64 this November. Been alone 3 years now.
        Seems like all the men my age want younger women.
        I am active, and told that I look younger than my age.
        Does not seem to make a difference.
        You can certainly send me a note. I live in Oregon.
        Where do you reside?
        Smiles
        Erika

        • Patsi Robison
          REPLY

          Hi Erika,
          I live in the Seattle area but my son is the conductor for the Eugene women’s chorus. I am 66 and many of his singers are close to my age. They have a wonderful time! I’m sure if you google Eugene Women’s chorus that info will come up! Good luck!
          Patsi

          • Erika Hanson

            Hi Parsi,
            Thank you for the info on the Woman’s Choir. I did look it up, I’m not sure of you were indicating to contact to join them? That would be nice if I could only sing. LOL. Well not totally off key, I can sing in church, but I think in a choir they would not want me and that is ok though. Or maybe hookup for friendship?
            Thank you
            Smiles
            Erika

      • Gail
        REPLY

        I know about sadness ive not seen my daughter in 10 yrs also . Kids are cruel and selfish. I live in orlando but selling my home i wAnna move out of fl . Im a retired female used car dealer for over 30 yrs.

        • Sue
          REPLY

          Gail, I live in Weeki Wachee, also in California, Vallejo City, retired Registered Nurse for 50 years., I am 71 and looking for a friend. I am very alone , no family member.
          At this time of my life I am just too late for anything.
          Take care.

        • Sherry
          REPLY

          Gail, are you leaving Florida? I’m planning to soon go from PA to SC,, but the plan is to eventually go to Florida, possibly Orlando, maybe Lake Mary.

      • Doug
        REPLY

        I am 61 nut the rest of your comment applies to me. You woulkd think, in this technological age, there would be things like Skypew Communities, where people could discover others who share their interests and with whom they could at least have vodeo chats, no matter what their geographical location.

      • Mary
        REPLY

        Hi I am a irish lady who was married for 45yrs to a violent alcholic who eventually left me for a lady older than me I thought been alone would be wonderful but alas I find the loneliness crippling my 2 grown up children are married and live in another country and been isolated for so long in my marriage have no friends afraid they might know i was battered please know that the world is full of loneliness M

      • Grace Barr
        REPLY

        Hi Malcolm,

        You must have gotten lots of replies. I look for a male friend to chat to have some company, even though it may be remote. It could be a start. I know loneliness very well too. I’m just like you, pretty good health, don’t socialize much and cannot meet people since I work from home. My email is gb7402@hotmail.com. Maybe we can start chatting on whatssap or something. Reply to me if you’d like a friend/company. I am about to turn 55 years old. My name is Graciela.

      • Helen
        REPLY

        I am going to be 70 in July and I don’t go out, I don’t have no one to go out with , I would like to meet some people around my age at time I feel so lonely

      • Nita
        REPLY

        Im around your age and most people also think im younger! I have been moving from state to state in hope to just to connect with the someone! I thinking about selling my house and move to a smaller town where people might be more open and friendly!! I would like to enjot my life again!! This loneliness is not for me!! Nita

      • Jean
        REPLY

        Hello, I’m recently turned 59 years young 2 weeks ago, and praying to meet a nice deceit man for companionship, and just simply Christian fun. Im AA and live in the carolinas.

      • Darlene pigott
        REPLY

        I am 66 to I don’t look it I’m still very active and doing well my husband passed away almost 2 years ago I still work I still work not that I have to I volunteer my time I get up with a purpose every day to do something nice for somebody

      • Lonnie
        REPLY

        Hi Malcom, where are you from? I am also in my early 60’s, it is very hard at times meeting people when you are older. Although I am very active and outgoing it still can be difficult. If you would like to chat e mail me, lcrem51@gmail.com

      • Trish
        REPLY

        Hi Malcolm, I dont know if you received my previous comment, I am brand new to this site. I am also in my early 60’s, and know it can be extremely hard at times meeting new people, although I am very active and outgoing it can still be hard. If you would like to chat please e mail me at lcrem51@ gmail.com

    • Gordon
      REPLY

      Email me if you’re still alone. I just lost my wife in January,2017. I miss having a person to live with and share with. At 87 I may sound old but I have a dear friend aged 55 who finds me attractive but is married and not about to disrupt her family by leaving him. Any interest? I am a sincere devout Christian and that is totally important to me

      • Gordon
        REPLY

        Vivian: if you look me up on Facebook you will see who I am and what my Christian philosophy is as well as a lot of photos of my precious recently departed Beautiful wife of 68 years. We started keeping company at age 16 and never quit till she died five months ago. But she is gone, and in not coming back, and I miss her like a part of my being is gone with her. If you trace my Facebook page back to January of this year, you’ll see the whole sad story and also the kind of friends that I have. Thanks for sending me your message

      • Unice
        REPLY

        I’m 65 year old divorcee, still working. My children are grown with their families. We talk, but it is no comparison to someone who’s interests are shared. I love dressing up so I attend church regularly and sing in a few choirs. I too wish I just had one to talk to. Maybe I will email someone.

      • Claire
        REPLY

        Where are you living? I am in Orange County, Ca. and am 76 though I am in good health and people say I am still attractive (slim and active). I, too, am a Christian and would love a man to talk to and possibly visit (meet up). I am divorced, have one daughter, and have never truly adjusted to being alone. God has been good to me as I have a regular income and all I need but loneliness keeps me from wanting to go out much though I have many interests. E-mail me if you care to chat further.

      • Claire
        REPLY

        Gordon – Where are you living? I am in Orange County, Ca. and am 76 though I am in good health and people say I am still attractive (slim and active). I, too, am a Christian and would love a man to talk to and possibly visit (meet up). I am divorced, have one daughter, and have never truly adjusted to being alone. God has been good to me as I have a regular income and all I need but loneliness keeps me from wanting to go out much though I have many interests. E-mail me if you care to chat further.

    • Jackie Smith
      REPLY

      hello Karman being lonely and lonesome is a terriable feeling i know i am a 76 yr. young white male could pass for 60 so i have been told. i lost my lovely and beautiful wife of 51 yrs. to cancer. two yrs. ago and i am a very lonesome man. i have a condition that keeps me from going out much where i might meet a beautiful lady,so i don’t get out much.oh i go fishing quite a bit and ride my motorcycle a lot i love to ride,but i don’t like crowds. i would love to talk to you about your being so lonesome. if you would like to talk my name is Jackie Smith i live in the beautiful Ozark mount. of Arkansas Bentonville,AR. the home of wall mart i love it hear so much to do and see,if you want to email me my address is motorcycleman@gmail.com love to hear from you Jackie.

    • Linda
      REPLY

      You are not alone. I’m sorry. I have an old broken heart too. Sometimes I don’t know how to go on. So sad isn’t it?

      • lillian
        REPLY

        I can feel your pain as I type. I have lost all hope also. Perhaps we won’t be able to help each other ..I am early 70 ish. Had 3 children 2 boys and a girl. My sons have disowned me. I don’t know why. I am heart-broken. I recently move, a month ago. It is very hard to live for me. I have no incentive to go ine and would like the floor to open up and swallow me. I will wish you hope and courage. Lillian

        • Sue
          REPLY

          Hi Lillian,
          I feel your pain, I am alone too, I have two sons but they disowned me 10 year now. And I don’t know why. Just heart broken. I were a nurse and retired 10 years ago. I am 72 year old. I have no relative or family or friend , just me and myself.
          About a year now, I don’t want to go out of the house. I am not feeling good. I am so glad to find this site and find someone has the same situation like me. I live in Vallejo, Ca.
          Take care.

        • Susan
          REPLY

          Hi Lillian,
          I feel your pain, I am alone too, I have two sons but they disowned me 10 year now. And I don’t know why. Just heart broken. I were a nurse and retired 10 years ago. I am 72 year old. I have no relative or family or friend , just me and myself.
          About a year now, I don’t want to go out of the house. I am not feeling good. I am so glad to find this site and find someone has the same situation like me. I live in Vallejo, Ca.
          Take care.

          • Mary

            I am so sorry . Can you try to reach out to your children? I am a Nurse also. I know how hard the job is while bringing up kids. You should not be treated this way and deserve good people in your life.

          • Susan

            I live in So Cal… and find myself alone too much. I have a good sense of humor and like to do things – however I do not have friends anymore – they have moved away etc… I would like to make friends………but nor sure how to at this stage. I have joined groups but still have not made individual friendships… having spent most of my life in relationship it’s now hard to pick up the pieces of being single…

        • Bertha Jones
          REPLY

          I frank I’m at that age also. I don’t know what state you live in I’m in Illinois. I feel the same way. my girlfriend live on the south side of the city. I would like someone my age to have dinner with also. let me know if you want to talk. Maybe exchange numbers. hope that your family don’t judge a book by its color.

          • Sherry

            My mom and I have been disowned by all of her side of the family. Am not close with anyone on dad’s side either.

          • Sue

            Hi Mary, thanks so much for your concerns. Yes I did try to reach out, by messages and mails, but no returns so I gave up.
            They disowned me after they finished college, they are well educated. Now they had moved and I don’t know where they are.
            I were the best mother , in millions years I would never thought my sons treat me this way. It hurt so much.
            At my age, I consider my life is over, and I accept what will happen at the end of my life.
            Thank so much and I am very greafull to all of you.
            Take care and God bless.

        • Sue
          REPLY

          To Lillian ,
          This is Sue, I am very interested to corresponding with you. We have something in common, we both had been disowned by our sons and both in very deep depression. I just hope and pray that you find peace with yourself.
          Take care.

          • Gretchen

            I’m in Orlando and would love to have friends to talk with and go out. My only son does not bother with me but I’m sure he is very busy. I am 61 y/o female and love to do things…anything.

        • Susan Hellander
          REPLY

          I feel the same. I’m 60 years old, divorced for 13 years. Used to drink heavily so had lots of so called friends. I no longer drink, and now have no one. I just want a friend. I have 4 kids, 3 girls and a son. My one daughter has disowned me, and is pregnant with my granddaughter I’ll never see. I do not get along with my oldest daughters 8 year boyfriend, and so I’m no longer invited to family functions. I’m imcredibly alone. Am presently on a leave of absence from my job due to extreme depression. Men my age want younger woman, and I really just want friendship

        • Arnold
          REPLY

          Hello. My name is Arnold. I am 77 years old. My wife died over a year ago and I am totally alone. My three sons do not talk to me. They want money. I have a home but hate to be alone. I really need a companion. I live near Austin, Texas.

      • Connie
        REPLY

        I couldnt agree with you more. Its a tough world for seniors. I would really enjoy being more connected to women and men socially. Just sharing thoughts or helping one another.

      • Diane Hummel
        REPLY

        I feel your pain. I am 65 and just lost my one true love Dec. 31 of last year and my children have disowned me too and i dont know why. I am so very lonely. Some days are just unbearable. I would love to be able to travel but i am very limited on my funds and i cant work because of back problems so i feel there is no purpose for me any more. I live in Utah. Diane

        • Joe
          REPLY

          Diane, I don’t know you from a hole in the wall but I can tell you this. You have a purpose in this life. Everyone does. Of course, living in Utah does not help. Only kidding. I heard twenty people who live there, love it. I am a 73 year old married man with a disabled wife who I look after now as I have become her “caregiver”. Therein lies my purpose in life. We are basically roommates now, but like they said, “in sickness and in health”. Feel free to write to me if you wish. I live in Florida.

          • Tracy

            Joe, hi there. This is a new blog to me, and as I’ve read down through all the experiences we “older” folks have, I’m most struck and happily by your sense of humor!! Thanks so much for this. I believe loneliness is a temporary cloud that visits, but the isolation is what can be so unraveling! At 67, I’m just so thankful to be here at all, but I’ve always felt that way. Earlier this year I was diagnosed with bladder cancer and so i have a new goal to beat this, but I try to focus on living. I am an artist still in some ways searching for my muse, but it makes life interesting and joyful.
            I wish you well from my heart. I have an acquaintance whose wife has deteriorated for a decade with Alzheimer’s and he too carries the weight of love tested beyond what most may face. I would be a friend if you would like to communicate. I’m in Houston but hope to return one day to the west coast, maybe back to Puget sound. The beauty is astounding, a walk through a forest can bring everyone a renewed sense of wonder and peace. Best to you and everyone here.

          • db

            A landlord? Rent the movie Pacific Heights to find out the downside to renting, being the landlord.

    • Kendrick Klass
      REPLY

      Hi Karmen Franco. I am 55 and we have almost the same thing in common that we’re dealing with. I just came about this site on google when I wasn’t even looking for it. Here I am. My name is Kendrick. I lost my wife 5 years back. Age is just a number as I am not letting age factor hinder me from my happiness. If you feel we can get to know each other and see where it will lead to then you can write me shazzy4455@gmail.com. Good night.

      • Sherry
        REPLY

        I will try to check out Pacific Heights, but if anyone can tolerate the headaches and do it right, being a landlord is almost a money machine. Most can’t afford to live off the rental income 100% but it’s surely a business where you can have regrets if you don’t know how to be a proper landlord. Many people are doing it so it can’t be all bad. I think the biggest failure is not getting good tenants. Renters usually don’t have much money and there is a high proportion of mentally ill renters, so these need to be avoided. I would think anyone doing Section 8, group homes, sober houses or anything along those lines needs to have extra experience and maybe extra money or extra risk tolerance.

      • Sherry
        REPLY

        I will try to check out Pacific Heights, but if anyone can tolerate the headaches and do it right, being a landlord is almost a money machine. Most can’t afford to live off the rental income 100% but it’s surely a business where you can have regrets if you don’t know how to be a proper landlord. Many people are doing it so it can’t be all bad. I think the biggest failure is not getting good tenants. Renters usually don’t have much money and there is a high proportion of mentally ill renters, so these need to be avoided. I would think anyone doing Section 8, group homes, sober houses or anything along those lines needs to have extra experience and maybe extra money or extra risk tolerance. Plus I have no choice, due to a physical disability that greatly limits my sitting and standing time. Meanwhile I must be supported by my husband.

    • Carol Gevlin
      REPLY

      I am also a woman your age who never married but was very involved with my siblings and their children. Nieces & nephews are now grown and living around te country. So I am experiencing incredible loneliness. Do you have any ideas how to cope with this feeling at this stage of life?

    • Manny
      REPLY

      Send me more info about yourself I may enjoy your company.
      I am a working musician, never married, 60 somthing- I don’t count,
      have goals.

    • SherryM
      REPLY

      Hi Karman.
      I am brand new to the site and wondered what area of the country you live in ?
      I am in central Arkansas.
      I am glad I found this site and hope that by supporting each other in a nonjudgmental way we can find Positive solutions to each of our unique situations.
      My frustrations with using a dating site is that most of the men that I have met are extremely conservative and I am somewhat more liberal in my political thinking.
      It would be nice to find a companion that I could share my political views and enjoy that kind of company.

    • Laurel Burnett
      REPLY

      No you are not alone…..I am in my upper 70s, extremely active and very healthy…..I feel just exactly as you do. All men are looking for is younger women, so I have given up on them.

      I have a daughter in another state, I am in tx, another daughter 35 miles away from me , 2 grand sons – they are all too busy for me and I have a son in south tx who is a workaholic ….. so what does a mom do. I love to travel but do not want to travel alone. My friends have become my family, but I would still love to have my children visit me now and then or ask me to come and see them. I do not expect a formal invitation, but when I mention going to see them it’s always “will let you know”. Loneliness is a terrible feeling.

    • Cheryl
      REPLY

      Hi Karmen, I am Cheryl…65 I just found this page as I again try to adjust to living totally alone, except for my big dog and best friend Isabella. Sorry to hear of the passing of your husband, that is never easy. I was married for close to 25 years when my husband decided to run off and leave me and our teenagers after moving us to another state and then try to try understand what happened to him???? some things in Life take us on some crazy trails… and learning to live again alone is very challenging to say the least… it is trully a learning and growing experience, sometimes very peaceful and nice and then all at once its so quiet and lonesome. I finished a medical treatment in 2016, am better now but sill feel the fatigue, but when I start with stinking thinkin I try to remind myself to get busy attacking a project of which there are always way to many. I was finally able to get a ymca membership to try and do water aerobics and take better care of me, which is not always easy… but very needed in order to keep up.. I know also that reading the statistics on how many married people or those with partners also get lonely. Which I felt in my marriage also… so I guess it is good to know that we are not alone in those days where we feel lonely. Nice chatting….

    • Lucia
      REPLY

      You are hardly alone. Reading all the replies there are many many others like you. As a matter of fact I found this site wondering who else feels lonely even after an accomplished life. I believe it is a cultural matter the absence of options for mature people to integrate and enjoy life. I’m 60 and look younger, but even from my own children I perceive a distance that grows bigger with time. I hope we persevere in working to find a life full of adventure and new dreams. Our heart still beats and our feelings run deeper than before. Looks are only circumstantial, soul to soul communication is more important now. I wish you all and myself the best.

    • Connie
      REPLY

      Hello Karmen
      I am in the same situation as you. You are right that it does ease the burden of loneliness to know other people are in similar situations. Not that I want anyone else to be lonely because its tough. So every day I do my best to stay positive. Dating is a whole different world now
      Hoping the best for you.

    • Sherry
      REPLY

      I have been talking online with lots of guys from South Asia and they’re interested even though I’m 64. Many people nowadays are going overseas to find love when they’re older as in the show 90 Day Fiance.

    • Suedo
      REPLY

      I am 71 years old, I feel alone all the time, I am active and healthy , I have going to the senior center to play bingo, mah Jong and some times eating lunch there. But when getting back home, I still feel lonely and depressed . I don’t sleep much, maybe 2 hours a night. I am worry about the future down the road, oh boy golden year is not golden as I thought of.

      • Sherry
        REPLY

        Suedo and others, so many people seem to have the empty nest syndrome. I would hate having to live alone. I got to idea for a community home when I realized my household of 3 is just too small for me. I grew up in a 4 generation home and it was great. Now I need to create a similar home but it will be with friends or live in workers or rooming tenants or a combination. Look for a solution, don’t let it take you down, especially now that aging rejuvenation is actually very close. Been following this only since the 1990’s and I can tell, it’s really close to at least start to slow aging with medical control. It’s bad to feel you greatly lack sleep, Suedo. Really you need to think hard about a solution. Leave no stone unturned. Your life depends on it.

        • Sued
          REPLY

          Sherry,
          What a good idea. I plan to run an Airbnb right in my home. The house is rented right now. Why not run a little business and meet a bunch of people all over ?
          I have to do something to keep myself busy before I go nut.

    • Gail
      REPLY

      Hi im in same boat. Im retired auto dealer living in orlando where do you live? Im currently trying to sell my hone and move out of state to nc or tn .

    • Diane Roberson
      REPLY

      I don’t know how long it’s been since you put that post on here but hey my name is Diane I am 59 years old a Christian woman that lives alone and I am a very lonely isolated person I never dreamt that as I age my life would become so empty I really need some good girlfriends to share life with to share laughs with to share meals with to share a life stories with I just don’t have any friends anymore I just feel more lonely everyday

    • Joy Abraira
      REPLY

      I have a 68yr old male friend that desperately needs someone to be a companion – he is going out of his mind crazy with loneliness and I can only help by listening!! Lives in Ft Lauderdale FL 33334

      • Trish
        REPLY

        Hi Joy, I dont know if your friend is still looking for a companion, but would love to get to know him. I presently live in North Carolina but am moving to Florida in the next few weeks. I dont really have much family. Two sons, that are always to busy with their families to really even bother. I just somehow stumbled onto this site tonight, so I am brand new and not to sure how it really works yet. But my e mail address is lcrem51@gmail.com. would love a new friend.

  • RS
    REPLY

    I am 53 and have been married for 28 years. We have a big age difference. I feel emotionally battered for reasons I will not go into here. Suffice it to say my husband decided he wants a divorce. I am uncertain as to whether he will follow through or not. I live in a rural area where there simply is not work that I can support myself. I currently work 3 part time jobs and still don’t make enough to support myself. Most of the jobs in this area require someone to be able to lift 50 pounds repetitively or push and pull heavy weight which I can’t do due to a partial shoulder replacement. I need a secure job first where I can support myself and I guess I will figure the rest out later. From home might actually be preferable because at this point I think I’d like to get a good dog and forget about humans for awhile. I’ve been looking all day on the internet at jobs and most of them sound so technical I don’t have a clue what they mean. I learn computer programs quickly with hands on training but hate webinars. I have to learn live and hands on. Thanks for any suggestions or thoughts. This is all new to me, although I guess it really shouldn’t be.

    • sue
      REPLY

      RS I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through, although you do sound like a strong woman. I want to recommend an online support site that I am currently using to help get through a difficult relationship breakup. ‘MDjunction’ support site has many different groups for many varied life problems. There are no fees, no professional counselors, but they do have moderators. It has been very helpful for me. Best wishes to you in the future, keep your head up, you will find a way to a better place in life.

    • CINDY HAYNES
      REPLY

      CAN SOMEONE TELL ME HOW TO FIND THE REPLIES THAT I CLICK ON IN THE EMAILS SENT TO ME THAT SAY I HAVE A RESPONSE AS I NEVER CAN FIND THEM WHEN I CLICK ON THE LINK SENT TO ME AND I HAVE WRITTEN THE OWNERS OF THIS SITE TWICE AND THEY NEVER RESPOND? THANK YOU.
      SUCH IS THE ONE SENT TO ME TODAY:
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
      The user Joe Siczpak left a comment in a thread you participated in on Senior Planet.

      > We raised two successful boys. > Our oldest son and his family live over 2,000 miles away and it’s been over 3yrs since we have seen them. It’s jyst way to expensive to fly .!! For either side. > Our youngest son lives 45min away and only see them once a month. They always say they…

      Click here to see the comment.
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
      I CLICK TO SEE THE COMMENT AND IT IS NEVER THERE? WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?

      • Senior Planet
        REPLY

        Hi Cindy, unfortunately our system doesn’t support links directly to the reply—or even to the comment it’s in reply to. However if you scroll down to the comments under the article, you’ll see that each reply is embedded directly under the comment it’s replying to, and the comments themselves are in reverse chronological order. We know it’s a lousy system. We’re considering updating to a new system that would show you the whole reply and let you respond by email. We’d love to know if you think that would make it better.

      • Sherry
        REPLY

        Cindy Haines, I’ve had the same problem as you! I have to scroll about 25% down to see the comments posted after mine. It takes a long time. When I scroll halfway I get to posts mostly from 2016, with a few from 2017 scattered in. I think the best thing is for people who want replies to include some contact info with their posts and I see some have done this. Not sure of the best or safest. As a last resort maybe set up a new email address just for this or similar email and hope no scammer or crackpot gets ahold of it. If no problems seem to crop up after testing out the new email addy, come back to this site and post something to one of the posts you see first, meaning one that appears recent and near the top of the page and give your facebook page and an alternate, such as a twitter page or blog page with a comment section.

        • Artemis
          REPLY

          Hi Sherry,,, I totally agree with you. Look, I am now 72 years old, lived in NYCity most of my life…moved to Florida for about 20 years or so,,,and life brought me back to the City,,,which is now nothing more than a 3rd world dump,,,not the City I once knew and loved. Anyway, bad mistake…many mistakes in my life…unfortunately. I am now stuck with a myriad of issues,,health mostly (since I returned) scared to death,,,no family (all deceased) 2 friends who have their own problems and are of no use. Boy many years ago, this was a different society we had…today ihere is absolutely no resemblance to what used to be. Anyway, what I would give to have a wonderful support system of friends,,,,REAL FRIENDS, where we are THERE for one another. I fear dying like a “withered” leaf/flower, all alone in this apartment and, sometimes even considering how to end it all.
          I am someone who just loved Rock,,from the 80’s,,esp.,,70’s and of course growing up as a kid in the 50’s and 60’s. I truly wish you all well,,,esp those on in years who find themselves ALONE…this sis a terrible society today,,,in another generation you mostly always had family and some support system in life. God, I just pray every day,,,please, let me go home,,,I cannot take the STRESSES I am having to endure on a daily basis anymore. Don’t believe in organized religion anymore,,,,tired to death of praying and hoping someone or something is listening. Let’s face it,,,we all have our DESTINY, which I believe in and for a reason as well. We will try our best, but I can only absorb just so much pain (mentally and physically)….that is why some people take their own lives. Wishing you all the Blessings of the Universe….and I am also a huge animal lover,,,Staunch animal rights advocate and a “Cat” lover. Have had them all my life but no more. The most innocent little should on the planet,,,,the animal kingdom. Hope my post finds you well, in all respects. Artemis

          • Sherry

            Artemis, try to hang in there. I am curious about your health problems and if they are treatable. Bad things seem to pile up as people get older. I have a chance to move South, which I’m betting will remove some of the bad that’s accumulated for many years. I hate lving in PA. I am wondering how the Phila. area plays into my problem of not having family or friends, as I find it to be an unfriendly place. Not driving didn’t help me, especially once I moved out of the city. Came back to the city when I was 19 but only for 2 years total — not long enough. Looking back I should have seen all my cousins virtually ignoring me, as they had ALWAYS done very close to that. The only times I saw them was when our parents got together, but I didn’t realize that at the time.

            This thread is so active and now it sends me right to the post! Hope it’s happened that way for you too. Before I just ended up at the very top, with no idea how far down the comment was.

            Anytime you want to talk, I am here and I’m sure there are many others here to talk with. If you’re having trouble finding locals…yeah, that’s a big problem with me too, as I was saying. I feel very isolated but I still have my husband and mother. I am probably in the best health of the 3 of us here.

            Yes it is a very different world from what we grew up in. I can’t pin down the year or even the decade, but look at the school shootings. I think to myself it may be the increased population but can’t be that because if the population has tripled, for example, we should have 3 times the shootings, but until the 1990’s I didn’t know of any school shootings. Wish I knew how all these bad changes came about. It still seems most people are devoted to their nuclear families but since I’m no longer in one and have very little contact with anyone in one currently, I don’t know what’s going on, don’t know the general details. I guess it’s the most consistent thing I can think of. It’s the extended family that seems now to be fragmented, with people left out. That’s exactly what everyone’s saying on this thread.

          • Sherry

            Artemis, and I’m an animal lover too. Had dogs and cats most of my life. Have not had any since my mom and I moved into separate cities back in1990 but we’ve been back into the same home since 1991. We have no pets because we’ve had to keep the house and yard as pristine as possible to re-sell it but we’re still here since 1997. Suspected a cat allergy after my boyfriend and I got a few of them and I tested positive for cat allergy about 20 years ago. I guess with your health problems a pet would be too much. If I were alone I’d probably get 1 or 2 small dogs, regardless of the condition of the house.

  • Dan
    REPLY

    I’m a 49 year old male with no kids, and very few social outlets (family/friends. I lost my job about 6 months ago, and the likelihood of replacing my income seems poor. Things I do have now are my health (knock on wood), and a decent amount of savings.

    Oh, and I am married. The thing is though, my marriage is a passionateless facade where I feel I’m just settling. But I am terrified of growing old alone. I feel trapped! What to do???

    • mary Crawford
      REPLY

      I am 53 years old. Been widowed for 5 1/2 years. Got 2 grown children. My husband died unexpectedly at 47 year’s old of heart attack. I never expected him to die, he was suppose to out live me. We had a good marriage. In 2013 I met a guy online and we ended up married for a month before we realized we made a mistake and got divorced. Then in 2014 I met another man who I seemed to connect with. We got a place together with my kids (my son has high autism) and my daughter was finishing school. This man treated my kids like slaves, they each paid 650 a month to live in the house. (Daughter finished school and got job) my kids could do no right, and eventually neither could I, I finally got the guts to leave him which I did, now it’s just me and my son living in a rental house that we both hate. I’m suppose to start a job in a grocery store this Tuesday. What I am finding is that I love being married, it’s all I know,I was married to the love of my life at 19. We were married for almost 28 years. There has to be a reason these other 2 marriages failed. I’m scared of ending up old and alone.

    • Patsi Robison
      REPLY

      Don’t give up! You have a half of life left! Have you tried dating sites? Like Plenty of Fish? That’s where in my 60’s I found the live of my life!

    • Bertha Jones
      REPLY

      Stop being afraid. Life has to get better. how are you going to find out about life if you don’t try. You cant fail. You’re you go out and find life. I”m in my 70 and I have more get up and go then you. RUN TO LIFE IT’S VERY SHORT. CAPITAL RUN.

      • Soo16
        REPLY

        Right on Bertha! I’m 70 also, I love being retired..I am FREE..FREE at last! I can’t wait until winter comes and I leave for the southwest desert to soak up the sun till spring. I don’t have enought money for a fancy RV, so I have a conversion van that i made into a little motel room and I love it. You meet nice people while traveling, and if you are alone you can go anywhere and do anything you want. Don’t be afraid to do something you haven’t tried before, life is short…enjoy!

  • Kathy
    REPLY

    Very interesting. This site seems like it would fun to chat with people. Being single is nice at times but it is nice to have a companion to chat with and do things together.

    • Elena
      REPLY

      Hello people . I read all your message . Is not good be alone .we need eachother . The conversation, is good .we need talk , talk abbout all . I am from Romania , very far , but i would like to chat with all . If you feel alone and need to talk , abbout all writte me . elenaqwert@yahoo.com i like make new friends , not mather the age . Have a great day and never feel alone

    • Joe Siczpak
      REPLY

      Dating sites? Plenty of Fish? More like Plenty of Dogfish, Cowfish, Suckerfish, Whales. Browsing POF is like fishing in a sewer.
      Don’t bother with dating sites, because most people are merely window shopping, and not looking to buy. Also, the older people get, the more they are unwilling to compromise or let anyone else into their world. Get used to it.

  • Maria Thomson
    REPLY

    Hello all, I’m here looking for some advice. My father in law is 74. He is now widowed (almost 2 years ago). My husband is an only child. We have 2 children (14 and 10). My father in law lives in the house that he has lived in for the last 40 years, by himself. We have talked to him about possibly getting a house together so that he is not alone. (he’s commented about his house being too quiet). Is this something that an aging, but not really old, parent would want? He’s diabetic and having some memory issues but definitely fully capable of living his own life and being independent (except that he doesn’t cook at all so he eats out every night). The house we found has an in law suite so if he doesn’t want to hang around us, he can go on his own. We can’t really tell if this is what he wants or not, his comments vary on the subject. My husband thinks he may have offended his dad by talking to him about it. Any words of wisdom? Is this something that a parent would want or do we just let it go? Thank you for any input!

    • Susan
      REPLY

      Hi,
      I just found your comment…sorry a few months later. It is important to feel independence for as long as possible, it keeps us young and viable! Living in the same home for that long, well…it is home! Everything is set, and my mom lived in her home until 90! She was going blind but knew how to get around her own home, she felt secure and I really think that letting her stay as long as she could kept her mind working. Unfortunately, we had to sell her home and move kind of forced from my brothers and sisters (I am the youngest of 5 and no one listens to me). She could have even stayed longer, she always had visitors, daily and it was a way to keep an eye on her and remind her to take her medicine. (people helped make sure that she took the right ones!)

      Once she moved out, she fell apart, was highly disoriented and very depressed. She just went downhill from there. She is a strong woman, we moved her again, due to the place was not very good and things kept going missing…even her rosery’s. sigh. She will be 100 this August but it has been a hard 10 years for her. If he is fine, then let him be! Visit and maybe someone, a student can rent a room?

    • Sue
      REPLY

      If you were going to buy a house anyway w/ a in-laws quarters. Just try you and your husband sitting down with him at lunch and explain it only because you both want to visit more and are able so him moving in with you or you both moving in with him? I’m sure you would know how to word it. Pray about it God will give you the right words.. Sue

  • Marty
    REPLY

    I think growing old alone is a tough road I’m 54 year old male never married no children.Didn’t plan it this way but that’s how I ended up.Funny how some are lucky and others like me bombed out.
    I like to chat so I find sitting at home by myself every day after work very quiet.
    So I usually just watch tv and go to sleep pretty much same routine every evening.
    I really think you have to be perfect,just average job average company car and home isn’t really enough these days.
    I haven’t got the drive to try and find a partner anymore I’ve tried and failed and if it hasn’t happened by my age seriously it ain’t gonna happen,foolish to think otherwise.
    I know I’ll never be truely happy on my own life will be work sleep repeat,some things in life for people like me are meant to be that way.
    It’s unfair but hey I didn’t make the rules I gave it my best shot.
    Marty

    • Paul
      REPLY

      Well let me be real honest here since the women of today are certainly nothing at all like the women in the past were which in those days it was so much more easier finding real love since it really came very easy for the men in those days as well as our family members that were very extremely lucky to be born at that time. Most women now are so damn selfish and so very greedy since now they really want a man that makes a lot of money since it is all about them now unfortunately. Most of the women were very old fashioned since they were raised by very good parents back then that taught them the right way which today their parents are raising their children very wrong since they’re so very pathetic altogether now more than ever which has a lot to do with it. Many of us good single men looking for love is very difficult today since so many women are very nasty with us men when we will try to start a conversation with the one that will attract us since they will Curse at us for no reason at all since i know a friend that had the very same thing happened to him as well since many women nowadays unfortunately are psychopaths and sociopaths as well which really does add to the problem. With so many women having a career today which many of them now are making a six figure income which most of them really think they’re all that which their not at all anyway. They’re the worst of all since they have a very bad attitude problem and feel that us men owe them something which really makes them very sad altogether. With these kind of women out there nowadays which makes it very obvious why many of us men will never find real love at all and will remain single as well thanks to them since it does take two to tango.

      • N C More
        REPLY

        I think I know why you’re having difficulty. You seem very negative and judgmental. To say “all women” are the way you describe is not only inaccurate but very off putting. Many people (both genders) have had bad relationships. The gross generalization that “all women “or “all men” are bad won’t get anyone anywhere.

        • Robert
          REPLY

          Wow talk about negative Nancy! Do you can I think if you’ve been in many relationships and the women are all the way you say they are there’s one common factor in them. You! Look at yourself and see what you were not adding to the relationship to make her feel that way. I wish you luck in finding happiness but I think it’s gonna be a tough road for you

      • Brenda Sanchez
        REPLY

        Hello Marty,
        My name is Brenda I just turned 47 years old,
        I have been single for a long time now. I have 3 grown kids. 2 daughter’s and 1 son,. Ages 30, 29, 25.
        I have 5 grandkids 4 boys and a girl. Unfortunately I only see 2 of the older boys. They’re my everything. 14 years old and 11 years good boys. The 14 year old has Autism,
        But he has all A’s in school and he is very organized. Well like me. The other one well we have to watch and keep on him. He wants everything to be simple and doesn’t like to clean lol. Older one is Edwin and the youngest is Juelz. I pretty much feel lonely alot. I work and come home and do the same routine everyday. I would like to have someone to go out to dinner, walks on the beach, although I’m very shy and don’t wear bathing suit. Every now and then have a drink. Don’t really have friends. Just one friend his name his Marco and he has CP. Half Paralyze. Why he’s my best friend he has what my older sister Maria has CP. I live in RI.
        Would love to chat or exchange numbers and pictures so I know who I’m speaking to. A face is always great to see.
        TTY soon.

        • Joe Siczpak
          REPLY

          Paul makes broad generalizations, yet there is a great deal of truth in his statements.
          American women are *generally* considered to be self-centered, opportunist, materialistic, shallow, needy, insecure, defensive… in a word: unattractive.

          No, I’m not sorry for writing that because it’s a common *generalization*.

          To be fair, American men are *generally* considered to be self-centered, opportunist, materialistic, shallow, needy, insecure, defensive… in a word: unattractive.

          No, I’m not sorry for writing that because it’s a common *generalization*.

          The real issue is whether two people can be willing to take a risk of emotional involvement, which means risk of rejection, risk of not being loved, risk of not being understood, risk of loss. It works both ways.

          Happily, all of us losers- women and men- can soothe our broken hearts by further immersing ourselves in our annoying “stupid” phones and wasting time on faKebook.

          • Ladygigolo

            Well said Joe, thats exactly how it is, although the men are worse and women are starting to look better and better to me, a team switch is imminent maybe? Lol

          • Paul

            Well i know that i made my comment a while ago which most of what i have said is the very truth how the women of today have really changed from the good old days since it definitely was so much easier for the single men in those days looking for real love which unfortunately today is a totally different time we live in now. Most women today are nothing at all like they were back then since so many women now have their careers making a very excellent salary which really has changed them for the worst of all unfortunately. And most of these women will never go with a man that makes much less money than they make since they will usually go for the Rich type of a man anyway since it is all about money for them. Many of times many of these women will use men that have a lot of money since they really want to be very spoiled and will take advantage of these men that have money which is a real shame. And the women of today that are like this are nothing but Users And Losers to begin with since a lot of these young women will go after the much older men that they know that have the money. And many of times us younger men which i am not at all that young since i am in my early sixties myself have trouble meeting women that would be able to Accept us for who we really are since i know friends going through the very same thing right now unfortunately as well. Most women that have their careers today are very money hungry women since they will only want the very best of all and will never settle for less either since it is very obvious how the women of today have really Changed from the old days. And most of these women that us men will talk too have no respect for us good men at all since i am looking for a good woman more my age anyway which is still very difficult today even at my age too. Now i can certainly see why our family members were very Blessed finding real love with one another back then since it was a very different time as you can see compared to today. I wish that i Could’ve have been born at a much earlier time back then since real love really did happen which even i Would’ve met the Right Good Woman and been all Settled Down myself with my own Good Wife And Family that i still Don’t Have Today. Unfortunately just born at a very extremely bad time for many of us Single men which really makes it very sad for us. But i will Never give up. Peace.

        • Marty
          REPLY

          Hi Brenda thanks for your lovely reply sorry I haven’t got back to you I haven’t been on this thread for months.
          I live in Australia so we probably are in different countries unfortunately.Nothing much happening this way just got back from my parents place helping with some chores.
          They are both elderly but going ok.
          Well another weekend is drawing to a close pretty much same same for me golf Saturday,sleep in housework Sunday.
          Back to work tomorrow to do it all again lol.The neighbors 2 cats always greet me when I get home, so it’s nice to be wanted.I think though they only really want food though lol.
          It’s funny never marrying and no kids I don’t really fit in with society I’m looked at much differently and treated more unfairly at work also.
          I do try and stay positive and happy but it can be difficult and frustrating at times wondering what is wrong with me?
          It’s definitely a couples world, us bachelors are like a freak of nature.Its no one’s fault it’s just how life turns out for us. Just never found that special person.
          Then I think you don’t actually believe it’s going to happen so you do stop putting in the effort and work and say, you know what it’s all too hard at 55 years old,if it was gonna happen it would have.
          I hope you are keeping well Brenda and are enjoying yourself.
          Regards Marty.

      • Susan
        REPLY

        Wow. What strong opinions! I must disagree with you. Not ALL women are this way and at 54, he can find another woman near his age that is wonderful. There are many single older women out there. Or, do older men really want the younger? If it is a generational thing, then I think that finding someone in your generation will be more compatible.
        You must have had some real difficult experiences to be so negative. Or, is it your negativity that throws the women off. Who wants to be around someone with such an attitude? Not me!

        • Gail
          REPLY

          I laugh when i see men on dating sites that are over 60 and fat that say they want a woman under 50 under 5’4″ abd under 130 lbs lol they have a nerve

      • Carrie
        REPLY

        I am a 56 year old attractive lady who looks younger than my years but can’t find even a friend, let alone anything more. Ild be happy just having a great friend at this point but where I live, everybody is coupled up no room for someone like me. I sometimes cry myself to sleep out of loneliness I sometimes don’t leave my home for days. My grown children have abadoned me for reasons none be known to me so I’m left all alone in a strange place with nobody to even talk to. I tried everything nothing works.

        • Cheri
          REPLY

          Carrie, I’m living the same life, 56 attractive can’t get a date with a guy who’s my age, they’re dating younger women. Older guys too stuck in some cranky place…no friends were I live cause I relocated to be near my grandkids who are too busy for me…my kids are also to busy to even call or text. ..finding a female friend is impossible in this area, I’ve tried for 20 years now….I want to move but have no clue where I’d go….I’m in Illinois not born here but been hete 25 years….I’m not even sure how I manage to get through the lonely weekends but I do….all the best to you, Cheri

        • Tom
          REPLY

          59 male and I know that feeling.. just to find a decent friend in this world is impossible. Life moves too fast for everyone’s good I wish it was 1965 again. Good luck to you. …and yes men cry too…

          • Susan

            Hi Tom. Your comment sounds like me! I think quite often about how society has changed so much in recent years (and not for the better!) I’m 58 years young….fond memories of growing up in the 70s. Where do you live?

        • Bill Collins
          REPLY

          Carrie,

          Where are you from? I understand your pain, my situation is very close to yours. I took a PT job to help with the loneliness. It helps. I’m 61, retired, and try to keep busy. I live currently in NE Ohio.

          Bill

        • Mark
          REPLY

          Just too many very pathetic women everywhere nowadays unfortunately, especially the ones that think they’re all that too. What a laugh that is.

      • Sherry
        REPLY

        Women in the past were easier to have relationships with, but I know women should make a living whenever possible. In any marriage or relationship I have gender roles have no place except for those nature still forces on us such as pregnancy and the physical strength of men.

    • pam
      REPLY

      Hey how’d it going? I’m 55yrs. old and I do about the same. I go to work come home and spend the nite with my cats. I’m not a cat person but I’ll save that conversation for another time. I watch TV until I go to sleep. Rather boring. I wouldn’t mind chatting with you if you wouldn’t mind chatting with me. So later for now.

    • Lilian Haggland
      REPLY

      Hi funny I woke up this morning and heard pray for your husband….What husband Lord I have been single for a decade….Don’t give up,God knows your heart,He created you,He knows we need love. So my dear, ask God to direct you she probably waiting for you too

    • Michelle
      REPLY

      Hi Marty…I don’t know if you got my response, but I have been a widow for a long time now and did not have a marriage made in Heaven. I want a new life but don’t know how to get it, so I plan on moving to The Villages, Florida, where I can be alone and there are so many activities down there, it’s your own fault if you have nothing to do. When I left in 2014 there were over 900 clubs and there are more now. I don’t know if I’ll have lots of friends but I know I’ll have a golf cart and lots of things to do. That’s all I need, I guess. I hope you consider. I might see you there…Michelle

      Google thevillages.com. Make sure it is not Terra Vista, which you will see if you google the villages. The Villages is annotated as the friendliest community. I know there are more in the US but that is the only one I know of and you can get a great looking home for $200,000.00! Turn key, too, where all you have to do is bring your suitcase and everything you need in the house is there, including a gold cart!

      • Christine
        REPLY

        I’m a 62 year old divorced woman. Fifteen years of being a single parent flew by and I supported myself with no respite from my children, so it was pretty exhausting but I did a good job and pat myself on the back.
        I understand why many men of our era are negative about women but it’s not always the case. Times and attitudes have indeed changed leaving ladies as ruthless as their male peers which can be hard to comprehend. However, we can’t change or reverse current trends where some ladies have descended testicles and some are just unrealistic about partnerships. We can change ourselves though.
        I don’t need a man but I want one. Companionship and sharing is bliss. However, I doubt I will as I have my own set of standards which are based on my idea of what a relationship should be and added to that, I’m used to living alone.
        I’m certainly not bitter, I’m very attractive which isn’t self love, I know I am. Fifty percent of my attractiveness comes from within. I smile in the face of adversity. I’m great with people, quite smart, fashion conscious and slim so my question is, where are all the compatible men. Certainly not on social media where they judge purely by years and assume pictures aren’t recent.
        I need a plan for my sabbatical from the workplace so would love help to formulate one. Sounds so much nicer that a retirement bucket list and if there are any men in their 60s out there who look, act and love like a much younger version, well there are myriad women to be sought who are waiting.

        • Ladygigolo
          REPLY

          Well christine im 33 and im more interested in equality and being treated fairly than i am in being slim, fashionable and not loving myself. I love myself very much, as I should. I refuse to accept double standards and piss poor treatment. Apparently, you dont mind being treated as inferior and allowing men to be ruthless while youre the submissive role. Its a cool story, really, but dream on. Unless you get plastic surgery youre nothing but an old hag to men. They want the youngest, prettiest possible plaything. Maybe you can fund your surgeries via online crowd funding.

          • Laura A

            Just out of curiosity, at 33 why are you on this site? What are you looking for? Your reply was needlessly cruel.
            In my life I’ve found this to be true….karma is real, and paybacks are a bitch. Watch out!

          • Joe Siczpak

            > I have my own set of standards which are based on my idea of what a relationship should be and added to that, I’m used to living alone.
            >… so my question is, where are all the compatible men.

            Obviously, there are zero men who are “compatible” with (1) your standards; (2) your idea of relationship; (3) your contentment with living alone.

            Get a dawg.

      • Sue
        REPLY

        Hi Michelle
        We live in weeki wachee , Florida also. We just moved here from California . We have no friends or family. We are both 70 year old.
        We went on few cruises but the loneliness is killing us slowly.

          • Patsi

            Hi Nanette,
            You might want to volunteer for a dog rescue group. I foster dogs for a great group. It saves dogs lives and you get to hang out with a bunch of great people! The other positive is you can test out if Amy of the dogs might be a good “keeper” for you. Good Luck!
            Patsi

        • Sherry
          REPLY

          Sue and others, I know you and your husband are lonely. Even if 70+, even if 90+, HANG ON, because there is hope through technology. Improvements may not be coming out exponentially but it seems they’re coming out faster as time goes on. If we can hang on another 10-20 years, even if in bad health, there are many things coming along to help us all — anti-aging treatments, driverless cars (they will have to be tested a few years to be considered safe), better preventative treatments…. we need anti aging most of all. It won’t bring back the family members who disowned us, it won’t bring back the dead (although I feel we will all end up together either in afterlife or a “new” physical universe, much better than with the suffering we have now). There really is a lot being tested now in laboratories, etc. and usually what is being tested normally soon becomes a reality to some extent.

      • Ara
        REPLY

        Hi, how did it go ion the villages? Ive lived in Florida for decades and not sure I would weant to live in the villages but for some its great, for others, forced fishbowl living among elderly couples and winter folk.

    • babes
      REPLY

      hey friend, never say never, do not lose hope, if it failed it doesnt mean you will fail again, just give it a try, also very lonely and single at 4o, but never given up hoping for the best

      • Sharon Peterson
        REPLY

        He’ll everyone I am a 61 female been married for 42yrs. My husband works 12 hour days (always have) 6 days a week. We raised two successful boys. We 4 grandchildren and 1 on the way. I know your saying so what’s my problem. I have been so lonely for the last 15yrs!! My husband goes to work comes home eats sirs down to watch tv and goes to sleep. NO CONVERSATIONS!! Our oldest son and his family live over 2,000 miles away and it’s been over 3yrs since we have seen them. It’s jyst way to expensive to fly .!! For either side. Our youngest son lives 45min away and only see them once a month. They always say they are to busy. I have NO friends and we only have 1 car. The silence is overwhelming!!

        • Bonnie
          REPLY

          Hi Sharon
          I have the same problem in my marriage. I feel like I live with a roommate that doesn’t like me very much. We are both retired. I am lonely and bored, I have no friends I was to busy to make them with work and family. But with being unable to work and family moved away, it seem to late to make friends. I feel trapped. I go to place like coffee shops to be around people it helps, and I take a good book.

    • Andiemarie
      REPLY

      Dear Marty i understand what you’re going though not at my 50s im 66 next month 67 i have cancer of the liver i feel ive never been loved not now or latter i do have a daught but she has her life to continue with young you always think ypull never grow old i dont understand why my life went that way as well but to let you know you’re not the only one going though this i must walk my road alone enjoy life so much at your age you can enjoy join a lodge church so much you can do remember there’s someone else like you an more so be good look for out lets in life andie Marie

      • Joe Siczpak
        REPLY

        > We raised two successful boys.
        > Our oldest son and his family live over 2,000 miles away and it’s been over 3yrs since we have seen them. It’s jyst way to expensive to fly .!! For either side.
        > Our youngest son lives 45min away and only see them once a month. They always say they are to busy.

        Recall that you said that you “raised two successful boys”.

    • Jane
      REPLY

      Hi Marty: I came on this site to look for some tips to fight loneliness but ended up reading about other people who seem to be looking for the same thing but not really getting any answers or any good ideas. I’m 60, single, no kids and it’s just a little difficult sometimes trying to fill my time. I hate to think that I’m wasting time when there’s such a big, beautiful world out there but I think a lot of people like me just feel stuck in one place. I work from home, transcribing for medical specialists, so that also cuts out any socialization through the day. I do lead an active life, have a big yard and a woodstove so there’s always dealing with getting wood done for the following winter but it’s a lonely existence. Anyway, I guess I’m just venting tonight and you’re the lucky stranger I’m venting to. You’ll probably never get this anyway…who knows with social media where all of this stuff ends up. I wish you luck and at 54 you have lots of time to continue giving it your best shot. Don’t throw your cards in quite yet. One thing that I’ve found to be a good idea in the past is joining a group who are interested in the same thing as you….or trying something new. I took a course to get my open water diving ticket and met lots of fun people but when it was over we all just sort of went our separate ways. Maybe something that is ongoing…..I’m considering maybe starting quilting or some kind of gardening club. Volunteer work is always good too….at your local food bank, etc. Okay….I’ve rambled on enough for tonight….besides Top Chef is just about to come on. Best of luck to you…..I’m cheering for you!!!

      • Cheri
        REPLY

        Jane, I’m 56 and divorced since 2004. I also work at home. It’s so hard to meet female friends. …are you in NW IL by chance? Cheri

      • Sherry
        REPLY

        Jane, I don’t know if this is a possibility for you but I’m trying to start a community home, probably located in South Carolina for people who are hopeful about having an unlimited lifespan through future anti-aging technology. Anyone else who also may be interested, please reply.

        • Claire
          REPLY

          Claire
          I am 76, retired, living alone, pretty healthy and active and thinking about your community home idea. It’s probably easier to do than it appears, but I’ve always thought it would be fun and beneficial for some single older women (and/or men) to do a “Golden Girls” (or boys) setup and share a home, expenses, chores, pets, and conversation. With some agreed upon “ground rules” covering everything necessary to run a clean, cheerful environment, the sheer comradery with the option of retiring to one’s own space (room) if some solitude is needed now and then would be a formidable foe to loneliness.

          If anyone in Orange County, Ca. thinks they might like to explore such an idea, let me know. It just might be quite doable. =^..^= foxrest7771@yahoo.com

          • cindy

            Yes that is what I would love to do but I am way over in Michigan…..The Golden Girls was such a dream life. A wish life. A now that would be nice type of life.

          • Sherry

            Claire and others, I have been wanting to do the community home thing for over 5 years. I need at least 2 people to do part time work around the house, some shopping and to help me get to appointments. The live in helpers can be of any age and will get a bedroom, at least most utilities and use of the common areas of the property. If I can afford a larger home, I can also have renters or co-owners, more like the Golden Girls home you described. Anyone interested in talking about a community home or who would be interested in living in mine in the future in central or south Florida can also reply. I don’t know about pets. The main reason I’ve had to turn down people for my current home is that everyone has a cat, dog or whatever and I’m severely allergic to cats. Also I am very particular about where I live and the animal hair, accidents, etc would probably be a problem. I would have a very small dog or 2 only if I were alone and I would not get rid of them simply because someone moved in. Maybe in the future we can have outside runs for dogs. Everything depends on money, as usual. guessmyneeds@yahoo.com

  • Truth
    REPLY

    Well for many of the men and women out there that were very Extremely Fortunate finding Real Love with one another and are Married with a family which they Certainly have so Very Much to be very thankful for since many of us were Never that Lucky at all which being Alone really Sucks so Damn much especially for the Holidays. I always wanted a wife and family which really Would’ve made my life so very Complete as well. It is as if God has Punished many of us for No Reason at all Especially when he gave it too so many Millions of other people out there that have their Life so very much Complete. Then again i Can also Blame the kind of women that we now have out there that have made it much Worse as well since Most women these days are very Selfish And Greedy since they will Only want the Best and will Never settle for Less which certainly has a lot to do with it as well. And with all these Reality Shows that they now have on TV these days has Certainly Corrupted their minds as well as the Media that has made it Worse altogether. So for many of us Good Men out there that really wanted to get married and have a family which we Can Certainly Blame the Type of women unfortunately that are now Everywhere these days that has Certainly made it very more Complicated for us as well since many of us Aren’t Single By Choice At All.

      • Linda
        REPLY

        Dear Truth, you are right about how the world and people have changed. I am 63 years old and have been widowed for 11 years now. I would very much like to be remarried but the men I have met don’t seem to want a good woman anymore. The roles between men and women have reversed. It gets really lonely for me as well but I don’t know what to do about it.

    • Dee
      REPLY

      Is it really all women and greediness or is it the type of women you have shown interest in? I was married 20 yrs. Divorced when i discovered husband was addicted to prescription meds to the point of acquiring them secretly and to the financial and emotional distress of myself and 2 kids. I never required things…no elaborate jewelry or home….not even an annual vacation. I devoted everything to him and kids. I lost myself in the roles of wife and mother while also holding a job to pull in 50% of household income. My blessings are my kids. The divorce was 10 yrs ago. Ex passed away 7 yrs ago. I never stopped loving him and wondering why….. Although I’d like a man to share my life with the odds at at 55 are not in my favor. Men generally looking for young model types. I am not. I am an attractive yet larger framed working woman with children aged 28 and 30. I love my kids, my friends and my job. I try to find laughter each day and generally succeed. Sometimes life is lonely…it is not fair. I had the privilege of caring for mom until her passing at the end of November at the age of 95. I guess that accounts for my recent heavy heart.

      • Susan Alexander
        REPLY

        Hi Linda
        I totally agree with you. I’m 56 and have been widowed for 4 years now. I get very lonely sometimes. We came to this country 20 years ago from England and when my husband passed away I very seriously thought about going back but I have 2 wonderful daughters and 2 beautiful grandchildren, so I stayed. The world has changed so much since I was a young girl starting out. The thought of dating same one scares me to death. I checked out a few dating sites but it seems that all men just want young attractive slim successful women. Not that I’m obese or un attractive just scared and lonely. Then I think why should I try to make my self look any younger or act any different just to attract someone else. What you see is what you get.

      • Truth
        REPLY

        To Linda, It is very unfortunate how this society has really changed today from the old days since it was a very different time back then. The men as well as the women back then had it very easy finding love with one another just like our family members had it. As you can see it was a very different time, and today the way this world has changed it is very sad. These younger women nowadays just like sleeping around with all different kinds of men since they will never be able to commit to just only one man which years ago most women never did that at all. So you can see how the times have changed now and unfortunately not for the good at all. I was married at one time before my Ex Wife Cheated on me which i was a very faithful good husband from the very beginning to the very end which meant nothing to her at all. And what is worse for me is that i have no children to fall back on either which i really did want children at that time. Since i know other friends that had the same thing happened to them as well, which it was just too very bad that we weren’t born back then since many of us men definitely would’ve been all settled down by now with our own good wife and family that many of us still don’t have today as i speak. I made my comment back in December just two days before Christmas which was a while ago as you can see. Peace.

  • Jim
    REPLY

    Hi everybody, I have a question for you all. First my story. At 69 (divorced at 65) sold my house packed up and moved to Chapala Mexico partly for adventure and partly to start a new life. I have been here 3 years bought a car and a house and consider that I live in Paradise. I met a wonderful Lady of 57 years and asked her to move in with me. She is retired from California and I want to know what financial arrangements we should have. Like I pay it all or she pays some and how much. Drop me a line with your thoughts.

    • leslie rae meisel
      REPLY

      hi and wishing you both joy in your new relationship. secondly this just my thoughts so it is not a solid must do. both of you need to sit down and talk about what each of you want with this relationship then talk about what each of you need to do. not only in regards to rent but who does the cooking and what days or nights, who cleans and what like dusting the living room or doing the floor in the kitchen, you see where i am going with this.

      have a wonderful relationship

      leslie

    • Debi K
      REPLY

      I hear you. But trust me. Having kids isn’t always great when aging. If they don’t have time for you it makes you more depressed. For me anyway that is how it is even thought I never try to depend on anyone. With no friends or other family it is very lonely and just doing things in general can be tougher with no support system.

    • Zipporah
      REPLY

      Hi,
      Children are not the only people to fall into when old. I am very lonely despite the fact that I have three children. They are well educated and out running their lives. The only connection is the phone.
      Equally children will not understand your personal needs, like accompanied to tours etc.
      I appreciate the latest information technology that helps us communicate..
      Good day. Zipporah

      • Hazel H.
        REPLY

        I understand. I have two kids that live in another state. and they call me when they need something. I have a husband but we are more roommates. we re been together 35 yrs. he doesn’t want to go any where or do anything… so I set home being more depressed. I can’t do to much because when I walk my hip,back hurt so bad. hubby has bad back also but his is that he can’t sit or he hurts. so he works to keep moving. then in the evening I want to talk and he falls asleep. I’m depressed and it’s getting worse.

        • Marlene
          REPLY

          Wow.. its like reading my own story..except the bad back bit… but what can one do when all you ever do is look after everyone else…then one day you realise there is no one looking after you…

        • Michael
          REPLY

          Hazel. ..i think your blessed …me and my wife of 33 yrs see each other on wknd we work opposite shifts never see each other all week then i and my bad back work some wknds. ..she has a lung disease and my back is toast ..5 injections a year …so.. said all that to say ….you have to look sometimes but you will find your blessings in your life …many a wealthy with all the health and time are so depressed they are very unhappy. ..God has given _you so much …sometimes we have to look in our lives but its there ..its there Gods blessing

      • Lesley
        REPLY

        I feel exactly the same as you . I’ve raised five children and they now live all over the planet and rarely call. They are too busy living their lives.

        I have a job fortunately . It’s the only time I get to speak to anyone apart from the postman. I worry about becoming ill and no one finding me. :(

        • Sue
          REPLY

          I am Sue. I am 70 year old. Had 2 well educated kids but have not heard from them for 11 years. No friend, no family. Have had a male companion for 17 year . He also has no kid, no friend and no family.
          Well, life become so lonely most the time. We going to senior club one a week.

      • Cindy
        REPLY

        Yes. i too, think nobody would find me if I died at home, for, ahh, at least one week! I do have a couple friends that would pursue to find out where I am, eventually.

      • Judyjursick
        REPLY

        Me to Eleanor. Widow now two years lonely,hard to meet people rather shy, Married fifty years we worked together, raised a family. Now that is all gone..where do I go from here? Every day is a struggle jmj

        • Patricia
          REPLY

          Even if you have a significant other, you will face aloneness. Everyone needs to fill that emptiness with God…even younger people. Quit whining and go out and help someone less fortunate.

    • Zipporah
      REPLY

      Dear Honest Truth,
      You are not alone.
      There are many like you but do not see it as you do.
      Travel and you will appreciate things differently.
      Best wishes,
      Zipporah

      • Paul
        REPLY

        Traveling all alone as a single man like me is no fun at all. And if i had a choice which i rather travel with a woman instead. Makes more sense.

    • Sunny
      REPLY

      Hi Jim ,
      First off good luck in your new life venture.
      Regarding financial arrgment best to have an open and honest conversation with your lady about that.
      Everyone may feel different about who pays what and how much .
      Also a lot depends on each persons finanical situation .
      Ask her what her expectations are.
      COMMUNICATE with her what your expectations are.
      There is no right or wrong , it’s about what each person is looking for.
      She in a position to pay her own way ?
      Is she looking for someone to pay the bills ?

      Communicate not just about financial . What about house duties , like who cleans ? Cooking ? Other .
      Be open and honest in order to avoid future problems or misunderstandings.

      If a guy would ask me to move in with him I would expect him to pay the bills.
      In return I am happy to cook and clean .
      But that’s me.

    • Doreen
      REPLY

      I have 5 children who have no time for me I am 60 I have not seen them in over 5years 14 years before that .I am married not happy 33 years and I never felt so alone .count your blessings you for the last 5 months we have been living in a car and it’s very very cold .and my children can care less .and all my husband says to me is I know all you can do is sit in this car 24 hours a day .he works full time and is out of the elements 80 hours longer then me .it’s hard to get a job when you have no address and cloths that are clean and a bath and very seldom do I have a phone .we have to eat out every day and that is so expensive so is gas we have to run are car all day long to keep warm.
      I cry every day I am just wasting away.and nobody in my family cares

      • Elaine White
        REPLY

        I’m currently in a divorce status after 27 years of his unfaithfulness, but I’m at peace with it. But I to get lonely, have children and grands, see them occasionally, my youngest is in college and we talk several times a day, and spend much time together, when she home other two older daughter workso very hard.we talk often and see each other at least every 3-4 month. I also get lonely, I do a lots by myself, jazz concerts, movies I would love to travel with someone and enjoy the rest of my life. I’m 63,3/4 years old
        I’m excited about the opportunity of being happy. I do love my God. And attend church regularly.

        • Cindy
          REPLY

          Don’t feel bad. I am now 68 but about 18 years ago I was in that same situation. In Colorado. There they did not and I assume, still do not have much help for people like us. I managed to get back to my home state. My entire family did not help me one single bit. My own mother even cashed checks of mine that came monthly to her house from my deceased first husband, so I had no money at all. But I went off on my own, purchased a home with no money, fixed it up, rented out rooms for money and still am living under the same roof 18 years later, by myself. I do no want to get mixed up with a man. I seem to choose the wrong ones anyways. I get extremely lonely but it could be worse, like being held hostage and not being able to do what you want for months on end. So, I am also afraid of meeting men. So, looks like I will die alone. My children don’t contact me often nor do they visit hardly ever. Everything is up to me, but I get so ill sometimes I cant get around to visit them. I would like to have another life but do not know what kind or how to go about it. Sometimes I just feel doomed to this mundane, lonely life of mine.

      • s
        REPLY

        all 5 children turned their back on you? It may be time to to take some responsibility for your situation.

      • Ladygigolo
        REPLY

        If you need an address, get a cheap mailbox at postal annex. It looks like a real address. Truck stops are excellent for laundry facilities and showers. Truck drivers often have extra shower coupons to share. Also, getting a membership for 10 or 15 a month at planet fitness means free showers and soap and clean towels. Get a job. Its sad but unless you abused your kids or allowed them to be abused,they are ungrateful terrors. Dont give up! I care. Id help but i dont have a permanent residence, im a traveling escort!

      • cindy
        REPLY

        Doreen, can you contact me and let me know how you are doing now as you have not written in a long time. You can email me if it shows my email. Are you still living out of your car? Cindy

    • sandy
      REPLY

      I am so sorry for you. I do have four children. not a one helps my husband and I. my oldest daughter and husband live paycheck to paycheck. her husband makes good money. they have a beautiful home but always broke it seems. my son lives with me and my husband. he does whatever he can to help us. hes done this ever since coming here to live after his pancreatic cancer surgery in 2004. considering everything the doctors did to make sure they got all the cancer cells, hes doing very well. the only side effects are having to take digestion med. before he eats, the rest of his life. then I have the two young kids, girls ages 38 and 37. a few years ago they decided they wanted nothing more to do with me. they had a pretty good childhood with me and stepdad. the both of them were very close to me. we laughed and had so much fun. then one day they just stopped. it tore me up and I beg them to tell me why they wanted me out of their life and they would never say. my older grandkids has nohing to do with me either. I feel it might be since they realized I was getting older, they didn’t want to face my death one day. its all I could think of. so as it stands, I have none of these girls to ever help us out or even ask if they could do something for us. it sure hurts to be treated this way. I had six brothers and no sisters. my family were all very close years ago. two brothers passed away before they were sixty. none of the others talk to me. we are good people yet I do not know why people change so much as time goes by. we sit here with little food. and on s.s. I’m in bad health and my husband is in very bad health. I love all my kids and my family.. loving someone is cheap and wish they would at least give me that.

    • alone at 57
      REPLY

      I’m in the same situation and just recently became single once again. Hard to meet a good man period so its hard to shake the fear of being alone till the end.

    • Mary Loar
      REPLY

      Husband of 43 years died March 2013 while I was in hospital for major back fusion surgery. June 2013 youngest stepdaughter (of 2) died. Sept 2013 close cousin in England died. 2015 great grandson 14 died from heart failure, May 2016 oldest stepdaughter died from brain and lung cancer. A month ago had to have my oldest poodle 12 1/2 put to sleep. My remaining poodle is 5. Since husband’s death have had a lot of medical problems that have prevented me getting out and starting a new life. Am now 77 and live in my own home. Love gardening. Have no family around me but good friends and neighbors. Unfortunately they are all married so while we go to lunch or shop, they all have their own lives. I occasionally am asked to join family functions but feel like a 5th wheel.I worry about the future, but have connected with the Senior and Disability people who have given me a lot of ideas to help me stay in my home and not have to go into one of those retirement places. However, I do have long term insurance if, heaven forbid, I had to use it. I am embarrassed to go places on my own as I have to use a wheeled walker. I drive a little but do not feel that confident so I stay home alone a lot One thing I found is once you are just (half of a couple) your social life as you knew it disappears. However I must admit when I do not feel well, I tend to withdraw from people which is not a good trait. Have no family members in USA (except step grandson in California). Tried to move back to UK but cannot get back on the National Health system and I need medical coverage. Was planning on visiting family in England in June and what happens. Pain in leg, found to have deep vein thrombosis, clot in leg, so will be about 6 months before I can take that long trip. Enough is enough with the sicky stuff! I was caregiver to my husband for several years before his death, so let my health go I guess and now it has caught up with me. I was last visiting my family in UK in 2014. I try to stay positive but wonder where my life will take me from here. Any advice for me. I do wish I could get around better as I try to stay very positive and sometimes wonder how I got to be 77!!!!! Anyone else live in Oregon?

      • cindy haynes
        REPLY

        To Mary Loar:
        I want to move and was thinking of Oregon…..Wish you lived by me. I am in Michigan. My best friend was my sister who died 2 years ago during a snow storm that made me lose most all of my electric appliances but insurance covered it. I miss her so bad. I am 69. I lost my husband when I was 40. That was tough to go through. I lost my next best friend last January who was 74. I knew her years back when we use to live near them in the same town.
        I feel like i need to do something so I am not lonely anymore but I have tried everything and nothing has made me feel not alone…….I would like to have a companion to do things with. I don’t even know if i am sexual anymore and all the men seem to want to be sexual and cannot just be friends?
        I mean, I don’t mind if I later find out I still am, but i do not want to feel forced into anything or made to feel guilty if I don’t, either. Know what I mean?
        If you look at the dating sites, you keep seeing men that say, love to hug and kiss and cuddle, very affectionate, warm and loving, etc. and that scares me right off the bat. I had bad experiences with those sites. Then there are those that are married and looking around, too.
        So, will I ever get a “someone” just to hang with….like the Golden Girls? Someone to eat with, talk with, watch TV with, etc. That situation would suit me to a T!

    • SherryM
      REPLY

      I too am an ELDER ORPHAN.
      I am 66 and divorced due to betrayal, and I’m still trying to navigate through the process of healing and finding motivation to go forward.
      I basically if this point just want companionship, ….. and it would be nice to try to figure out a way for folks at this age, and in the situation to connect and support each other.

    • Sadiees
      REPLY

      Wow I thought I was the only one that’s is alone and Ionely with no family well one grown son and no friends and that it was only me that was so tired of wanting my phone to ring and having plans to look forward to and just having someone to talk to !!! I live in Northern Colorado and the loneliness is killing me however reading all of your stories helps and I feel awful all of us are on here wanting to set people I wish we could all get together Iam a sweet honest caring women and I’d love some friends …..

  • Tom
    REPLY

    No, aging alone does not have to mean being lonely. But that is a truism. Being alone at any age does not have to mean being lonely. The salient point, for very many of us–as is corroborated in the biomedical and populational health literatures–is that being alone DOES for us mean being lonely. That other human beings who appear on the surface to be in similar circumstances as we are feel differently says only the obvious, that different people are different. In allopathy, no physician would find it a meaningful observation that a diagnosis of cancer doesn’t have to mean a low five-year-survival prognosis. Different diseases under the same name, and different patient characteristics obscure the meaning of “cancer,” as do distinct determinants obscure the meaning and experience of loneliness in different people.

    It’s great that some people enjoy solitude, or have found ways that for them remove the sting of loneliness. Unless these circumstances can be reliably and rigorously replicated with similar outcomes in the population overall (the lonely self-report, reliably, that they no longer feel lonely), we don’t have a broad intervention, but rather descriptions of what happens to work for some people–without knowing precisely why (constitution, particular life circumstances vs proposed intervention).

    I’m not trying to be mean or negative, but between the widespread shame attached to admitting to loneliness and the almost condescending this-worked-for-us-so-it-must-work-for-you-and-if-it-doesn’t-then-there’s-something-wrong-with-you-specifically sentiment that pervades so much anti-loneliness advice, the lonely can feel both overwhelmed and frustrated. They can’t admit they’re lonely, and if they do, they’re smothered with either platitudes or an expectation that others’ perspectives and experiences must also be theirs. There is no natural reason this should be the case.

    Hope everyone finds a solution to any chronic loneliness they might be experiencing.

    • Julie
      REPLY

      Isn’t there a book or manual on how not to be lonely? I am 45. I am lonely. I have a husband and one 11 year old daughter but feel alone. I crave a big family. My daughter was just sick and in the hospital and I didn’t know who to call to visit. I cared for aging relatives and they have passed and there is a feeling of loss and loneliness here. I want the community where when you are in the hospital people jump up and visit. I don’t know what I did wrong to end up here. I consider trying to adopt foster children to grow my family but wonder if they grow up and make their own family and leave and never look back. I seem to think without blood obligation I am destined to be alone, I feel terrible that my child is an only because I do not want her to be alone like me. I should have had many children but I had zero family support and had to care for sick and dying relatives. I took care of the old instead of making a life with young. I have friends but it doesn’t feel the same as family. I am looking for a village.

      • Linda W
        REPLY

        Thank your lucky stars you have a husband and daughter. I have NO ONE and a lot of other people are in my boat. Time for you to be grateful for what you do have and what you could lose.

      • Tom H
        REPLY

        Julie, I’m very sorry you’re feeling so lonely. If I had good advice, I’d have followed it myself. I hope you won’t think I’m picking on you in pointing something out, but I think it’s important to the way we build our communities–and could possibly mitigate some of the pain of loneliness.

        In speaking about your choice to take care of ailing parents, you wrote, “I took care of the old instead of making a life with young.” And earlier, in speaking about the fear that adult children you might adopt might go their separate ways and not pay much attention to you, you’d written, “I consider trying to adopt foster children to grow my family but wonder if they grow up and make their own family and leave and never look back.” I suspect the latter results often from a deeply entrenched cultural perspective that it is right/good for adult children to move on and look to building their own families. Aging parents should expect this and not begrudge the loss of contact with their once-families.

        I don’t think life has to be this way at all. It’s a choice. I’m not going to bore people with my own impressions of how this choice came to be, but if we abandon ailing elders to nurture relationships with those we expect to be here after our elders’ departure, then it’s reasonable that younger generations would feel similarly about us–and do this sooner and sooner, leaving many in their thirties and beyond bereft of vital companionship with loved ones.

        Just an observation. I really hope you find a way to fulfill your needs for companionship. If you do, please spread the word. Happy 2017.

    • Margaret
      REPLY

      Not that long ago i was feeling very lonely. i was allowing the void i felt to dictate my life. Because of health issues i am home bound most of the time. Cannot socialize because i am unable to eat regular meal ( many times only baby food, or simple smoothies.) and much of socializing in America is around meals. I got involved teaching Sunday School. Planted a simple children’s garden by their room. Quite by accident i started a free clothing closet for those in need or the homeless. It was still not enough. The void i felt from my son’s recent death and my grand kids growing up, my daughter moved away, out of state taking all her family with her. Until recntly i cried most of the day…my poor patient husband. Not long ago i reflected on a conversation i had with one of my grandson’s about a year ago. I always felt this urgency about us living in the last days. I have studied that subject well sine 1967. The conclusion of our conversation was that perhaps what i was feeling was my mortality. The emptiness was the sense of feeling detached from this world. I truly believe in my case that is the cause of my deep sense of isolation. I realized that the last days hold no meaning for me because the average life span in America is 78.8 years, i am 76. After i realized how close i am to going home i began to focus more on things that matter. In my case it is spiritual. I was able to release, past hurts, feeling of neglect, family, ambition, goals…all those thing are of this world. My home is not here but in the one to come. I now see whatever time i have left from a new perspective. I now live with a new sense of peace. “I can do all thing through Christ who strengthens me.”

    • SherryM
      REPLY

      Tom,
      I appreciate your comments and how eloquently you express yourself! I am new to this site, in this forum and I hope that you Please Continue to write.
      The condescending comments that can come from the mouths of people that are not lonely can be hurtful. Sometimes they expect the way they went about things, is a one-size-fits-all way to be.
      I am 66 years old, went through a painful betrayal, and divorce, and have no children.
      I help care for, and I am the advocate & ombudsman for my sweet 92-year-old mom.
      Since my divorce, my focus has had to be on my Mom, and I miss my old self.
      I have lost my past Self-confidence. I MISS ME!
      That’s a scary place to be.

    • Sherry
      REPLY

      Sherry M. and everyone, I am not as bad off as most of you posting in this thread so I can’t at this point relate completely, but instead at the phase where more family members have died and the ones left are declining, BUT there is hope for most of us. Life in the near future seems more hopeful as it seems technology is speeding up now. Since 1900. life expectancy has almost doubled. In the 1980’s the first home computers were around and 10 years later, most Americans were easily enjoying internet forums, fast forward just a few more years and most of us had mobile phones and a few more years and we have computers in those phones. Meanwhile we have gotten pneumonia and shingles vaccines and by the year, doing better and better with cancer. Now the first clinical trials are being done with medicines like Metformin for the purpose of working against the aging process. There’s so much going on NOT in mainstream media, but you can find it if you search things like life-extension, anti-aging and radical life extension as well as transhumanism. The hard part is learning what’s hype, scams and what’s the truth. For any help guessmyneeds@yahoo.com

  • Truth
    REPLY

    Well i can actually Blame the Single women for that one since i will Admit that i am very sick and tired of being a Single man and Alone all the time that really Doesn’t have any friends at all since all my friends were very Blessed to be all settled down with their own life. Very much what i Would’ve wanted as well but was Never that lucky since i always do meet the Wrong women all the Time. Most women today are very Pathetic and such Losers as well which makes it very difficult for me especially that many of them have such a very Bad Attitude Problem and have No Manors at all when i will try to just start a Normal Conversation with them. Sometimes i will even get Cursed at when i see a woman that i would like to talk too so i could get to know her but she will just walk away from me which i will Never understand this at all.

    • Lucas Usher
      REPLY

      Hello Truth,

      After reading everyones letters on this site, we are not alone in isolation. I assume you are an American man talking about American women, I agree.

      Through this thread, it seems like people might change their street address, or phone number while remaining in the same culture and they wonder why nothing changes.
      Once you get outside American culture the world is very different. For the past 15 years I have lived as an expat in China, Chile, and Cambodia. All different cultures, but all of them much fun. The past 7 years I have lived in Cambodia., and for the most part enjoyed myself. On any Saturday, most of our conversations were based on how lucky we are to be living abroad. Most of us are teachers, so our weekends are usually free.

      I am 62 yeaars old, and I can learn a new language without too much more difficulty than my young students. It takes me longer, but as we age we learn the importance of persistance. Riding off road on my motorcycle, visiting with the farmers in a small village restaurant, or talking with monks at the temples, it is fun, this is what life is about, learning and having fun.

      It is not all happy and pleasant days, but the good days outnumber the bad days. There are those who hate us becuase we are different, there are those who cheat us, but once you learn their language and can understand them, being able to cheat us is at a minumum. However, the good people willing to share always out number the negative people who like to cheat.

      And the women, especially the farmers, you could not ask for better people. Arrogance and bad manners are looked down on in all three of these cultures.

      I hope this gives you some insight into what the world has to offer, and most of it is quite good and alot of fun.

      Cheers,

      Lucas

      • Kathy M.
        REPLY

        Hi Lucas
        I am alone – and very much agree with all you said – from an opposite gender perspective. I care, and need someone who can reciprocate. Females are ‘cared for’ from an early age, taught to hold our tummies in, stand straight, and be good. Long gone are the days of virginity, replaced by nights when sleeping alone is anything but comforting. My mindset is still fixed on finding a man who cares, will invest of his time with honorable intentions. I have never been a one-night girl, and friends with benefits is not my idea of anything short of usage followed by abandonment. The worst kind of loneliness. I am not a social butterfly. I am an introvert. No desire to travel. Love to be “home” puttering away at some project. Easy cooking — pasta & sauce or stir-fry with rice. I am still a lady. And words that demonstrate frustration – “cussing” – are perfectly fine when used proportionate to the event. I laugh, giggle, play Euchre, don’t drink, and relish the opportunity to be kind to others. I was a public servant — an honorable position that I take pride in. I will always be “that” person. It’s more than a past job – it’s a state of mind. I need to be held. Men do that better than anyone else. Your gift to women. We each have what the other desires – by design! I am 62 and scared to death. I am determined to NOT be one who my only son must “care for”. He has his own life. I do not want him to worry about me. I have been in 2 abusive relationships and fear some men who have anger issues or hidden rage, and ulterior motives. I live in NY. Not the City. New York is a large state! Safe communities abound. Seneca Falls is the backdrop of “Its a Wonderful Life”. Producer Capra passed through in 1939 and found it idyllic. As do I. The thought of living without love is abhorant // foreign // unnatural to me. Always the romantic. I will never give up – but finding a man is like high school all over again. Does he like me? Will I see him again? Does he mind being “texted”? Will he fear being trapped? Does he care? Is he caring enough? If I have a cigarette, am I committing a social sin? Can I tease him? Will he hurt me? I have been on dating sites. They are too expensive!! So do I hang out at Lowes or Home Depot? I am scared by the uncertainty as I look for a place to live. I just moved out of my apartment because people there are just “living” there. Ten months and no friends! They come home from work and go inside and that’s that! Swimming is something I love — very happy when the pool opened. Then July 20 I fell on the concrete by the pool and fractured my foot!! Major bummer. No swimming for me. Docs said I need to be where I have the support of family & friends. Where’s that? I looked at a couple of senior living centers – the mean age is 80! I’m not ready for that. I can be a girly girl – or a tomboy – a friend & lover…. where have all the wonderful men gone? I am a trusting soul, praying God will send me someone special. Male & Female. I have always been more comfortable with men than women. Raised on a farm with 3 older brothers and working with men – I am weary. I am temporarily staying with my son — TEMPORARILY — but where next, I just don’t know. I am OPEN-MINDED, intelligent & need a hand to hold. God is omnipotent – using us all to help each other. Ever notice how we “fit” together. It’s not an accident.

        • Truth
          REPLY

          To Lucas, well i know that i made my comment at the end of September which for what i have said is the Truth since i had a friend that just had this happened to him last month too unfortunately. The women of today which most of them are Nothing at all like the real Good old fashioned women were since Most of them in those days really had a lot of Respect for men as well as Most of the men that really did have Respect for the women as well. Now with so many women today making a Six Figure Income it is Worst since definitely Most of them now are so very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, greedy, picky, narcissists, and so very money hungry which really speaks for itself right there since they will only want the Best of all and will Never settle for Less do to their greed and selfishness unfortunately. I never expected to be all Alone now at my age at the same age as you which is 62. I was married at one time which i was a very Good Husband to my Ex Wife at that time which i Loved her very much and had a lot of Respect for her as well since i was very much Committed in my marriage which it still Wasn’t Good Enough for her at all. She was the one that Cheated on me which really Devastated me at the time when i found out since he really turned out to be the Low Life Loser that i Never expected. It is sad that many marriages are Failing over this which it is the women that have Destroyed many Good marriages because of this already since a friend that i know had it happened to him as well. Our family members were very Blessed back in their time to meet one another in those early days since the times were completely different too since Most marriages did work out as well. And many of our family members are still together today as i speak which makes it very Amazing as well. It was just too very bad that many of us men that are still Single today Weren’t born back then since many of us really Would’ve been all settled down ourselves as well. Quite a Change in the women of today since they’re very much too Blame for our Singleness now which makes it very sad for many of us Good Innocent men that Aren’t Single By Choice. Thank you very much for your support. Peace.

      • Jean i
        REPLY

        Hi there
        I do not talk to strange men out in public.
        Because of bad experience. There are guys out there who are known as super market Casanova’s
        They hang out in grocery stores and they won’t just steal your heart but anything else they can
        But I have issues I admitted it. A lot of women do. So do a lot of men. But I am Not looking for romance. I could honestly use some friends
        It would be nice to know how to form a senior peer group and makmake connection for no other reason than yellowish.
        Particular those of us of very small means.
        Any suggestions

        • larry G
          REPLY

          Hi Kathy,

          I am a man that has reached out to two ladies just lately. I was in a very strong pen-pal and than telephone conversations with a professional lady in Las Vegas. She was from the Phillipines but been I American for 29 years and a beautiful lady. After 3.5 weeks she somehow almost fell in love with me and wanted me to come out to Vegas and stay with her for a week. She could only see me in February since her job of doing 29,000 payroll for the Casino business she worked 65 hour weeks. SO, I came to the conclusion that I did not have the kind of money to go out to Vegas a number of times to find out if she was my soulmate, and again she had very little time once I was in Vegas. So, I called it off because to much risk on my part if this did not work out. A lot of hours communicating and money to see her. My friends told me to find someone closer. Well, I did and we want out on a Coffee date. She was a singer and I am and we hit it off quite good. I set up a second date to go dancing and she comes up with the idea now that she is looking to get married instead of just a long term relationship. I have also gone out with a few other very nice women over the past 5 years with a great initial date and than they back out of wanting to get more involved. ONe lady told me the date we had was the best she had ever been on. I bought her meal, candy, a card and a CD of love songs. A week later she breaks the date to go dancing and afraid to really get deep into a relationship. So, many women want someone o show interest in them, but, are emotionally scarred from past relationships as I have had two bad ones myself.

          I will say this about the times we are living in. Most people just do not care what you think about anything. People live in a bubble and are involved with in a small world of people. The interaction with people we meet
          is on the surface. We do not stop long enough to find out what is on our hearts. Everyone is moving at a fast pace. My own step children and blood son rarely ever call, except on fathers day or maybe Christmas. Why, they are so wrapped up with there own families they have little time for dad or mom We are out of site and out of mind. I have decided not to go to social media anymore. I may get more involved with the community
          and go the musicals where people have my same interests.

          I do feel for you, Kathy. I hope that someone special can come along. It just seems like the harder you try the more you get knocked down.

        • Dee
          REPLY

          I agree many women are looking for $$$ but many men just looking for that #10. This is not limited to the American people. Finding that caring individual , generous with compassion that is genuine and truthful is difficult no matter what gender. Only when you look beyond the physical to give a person the opportunity to know the real person can you make meaningful connections that can lead to successful relationships. I married my husband because we laughed together. We shared a love for music and art. We were both teachers and had similar goals in our careers and married life. He passed away 7 yrs ago. We had great times and horrible times. It is life.

        • Ann
          REPLY

          Regards your remarks re women of today, you forgot to mention how society, (women, in this case) have become nothing more than sewer trash….they walk around everywhere almost “naked” to the bone….with no shame whatsoever. For christ’s sake, so often what you see on the street or even on TV with the Hollywood Elite “gutter trash”,,,you wonder why they even bothered to put on the little band aid that they did.
          C’mon…tell the truth, this society is a society of filth. BTW, I am the furthest thing from being a PRUDE, if you only knew me but in the name of god, where does it end. there is no limit whatsoever today. They want respect but you really have to earn respect…don’t mean to go on but this society couldn’t go any further into filth and mud than it is right now.

          And, the second item I would like to bring up is that hey, most of you on this site are in your 40’s 50’s and thereabouts. The site says “Senior Planet” but most of you are really not in your Senior years such as myself…I am 71…I have aged before my time…and do not recognize myself anymore. I am totally alone and ill and the thought of what will happen to me (even at the end) is something which terrifies me. But what can you do…I totally believe in destiny and unfortunately whoever wrote my “story” up there forgot to give me just a little break! :) Be well and find someone to share your lives with to the end…it is such a crime to be alone in your later years…Wish you all the best …

        • Claire
          REPLY

          Not sure what “yellowish” means but as a senior, 76, retired, living alone, I would love to form a “Girlfriends” group in Orange County, Ca. who could meet once a week or so for lunch, snack and coffee, dinner, breakfast at an agreed upon spot to enjoy each other’s company with perhaps other things following (like plans for movies, camping, shopping at the swap meet, etc.). Just plain comradeship would do a world of good to help banish loneliness and enrich our lives by sharing ideas and interests.

        • Adela
          REPLY

          Jean you have a great idea about forming a senior peer group! And of course, it would be good to form the groups by cities so that we could perhaps meet in person too as a group at first and then anyone could, if lucky, form their own individual friends. I’d like to tell everyone here that, while we could arrange these groups ourselves, there is wonderful http://www.meetup.com where you can make friends according to age range, location, etc.

          Meantime, how about forming a peer group by cities right now by ourselves??? ;-)

    • Zipporah
      REPLY

      Hi,
      Sorry. There are also women aged over 50 like me who have the same experience with men like you do with women. .
      Get someone to talk to and you will know a good person immediately.
      I’m just like you.
      Good day

      • Barb
        REPLY

        Hi Ann, I relate and respect your options. I am 68 widow of 24 years, still alone but happy. I have two sons with grandkids. Most week ends we get together and share meal time watch movies and laugh! I bought my kids up in a happy home , they have successful careers and that makes me happy. I’ve stayed positive all my life even with its ups and downs. It’s really not difficult finding senior friend at a senior center. Theirs games, dances ,classes you name it. I find that once you let yourself be complacent it becomes harder to make the change….so then you find yourself alone and lonely. Hence, the mind has more time to think! I find myself reaching out, calling everyone i know and maybe just one has the time to go somewhere and do something. It works all the time. the more i reach out the better i feel and so do they. Being alone to long will eventually lead to depression. I’ve retired at 65 but kept busy with everything i could, gardening ,trips , and love to help volunteer at the nursing homes. I find days that i’ve stayed home others call and check up on me, i do the same.
        My advise to everyone …don’t give up on helping someone, reaching out to others works both ways , their no good reason to stay lonely….get out so we can find each other…. Bless you all …Be Grateful…

      • Adela
        REPLY

        Zipporah YOU’RE SO RIGHT that not only women are like these 2 gentlemen complained about! Men can be just as unpleasant and unfair!!! I didn’t think it was fair of them to say those things. Humans come in all types of qualities and many times it has to do with WE, OURSELVES and not those we blame, for our lack of success! There may be a reason why a person doesn’t respond to whom initiates a contact AND that should be respected, not criticized.

        This thread is wonderful because we can help one another if we are reasonable. What do you think of Jean’s idea for forming groups of mena nd women here according to cities and age ranges? I think it’s the best thing we can do for ourselves. what’s your opinion? :)

    • Elaine White
      REPLY

      Good for you Margaret, God is my strength, as well. I believe that if we give back not just financially but helping others help us take our eyes off our problems. Loneliness is real and will rob us of our life, I ad I said I look forward to enjoy many more years here and try hard to live a life pleasing to our God. As I read all the letters, it’s enough of us to get together and keep each other company, we should try it.

  • Candace
    REPLY

    Hello everyone,

    I see many of us are in the same boat except my boat sailed across the Atlantic. March 1st I sold my condo and car, put things in storage and bought a one way ticket to Lisbon, Portugal. So. Here I am. Problem is at 71 it’s time for me to be sensible and think of the future. I had to sell my condo because fees were outrageous and management horrible.

    I have no family and no real close friends. My funds are somewhat depleted and I don’t know an affordable and safe place to move to when I return to the U.S. I don’t know where to go. I’ve managed to make myself rootless.

    I’ve lived well, have a good education. I am not a bingo playing, knitter (no offense to those who do). I’ve lived in the Midwest and the Northeast but am afraid of being in a high crime, drug and gun happy place. Apartments are so expensive everywhere I look. I’m also considering a tiny house but want to be in a town, not isolated in the country. I’m worn out trying to figure out my life.

    If anyone has any advice, please let me know.

    My email is golfytype@yahoo.com

    Thank you

    • Lela Thomas
      REPLY

      Hello Candace,
      how are you this evening. I came upon this site during my search for a senior willing to tell their life story for my college project. I am enrolled in Social Sciences, and taking a class on aging. I am not quite there yet as far as senior planet. I am 54 divorced black american. I am a licensed insurance agent for Liberty Mutual. Your life sounds so interesting I wanted to reach out to find out how you managed. what was the outcome. i did not note the date you posted your email on here. You are just under the wire for my project. I need to hear the life story of a 75 year old. I face fears about the future. I am unmarried, estranged from my only son. my sister lives in the same town but is married and very busy with her own life. I enjoy gardening, dancing listening to live music poetry performances etc. I have a best friend for over 20 years but as we age we spend less and less time together. I would love to hear where you ended up. Traveling the way you did sounds absolutely fabulous.

      Knd regards,

    • Susan
      REPLY

      Hi Candace & Ladies, I am basically in the same boat although I stayed in the same state. I’m 66, 2 married kids in Michigan, 2 grandkids, widow at 44 and moved to Florida as my parents were here. I sold my home last April because I wanted to experience/explore different places in Florida or the Carolina’s to live. After selling my home I went on goldengirlsnetwork.com to do look for a “room share”. Well, thinking this would be a great safe way to explore different areas it was very difficult to get ladies to reply to my emails. In fact, no one did replay, but they still have postings on the web site. That I could not figure out. So, now I go to Craig’s list and look. Yes, I took a chance, but it was hard to get anyone on CL to reply. I have a very good profile, pictures, owned my own decorating business, phone number, etc., hardly get anyone to respond. Finally I found a place in St. Augustine, Fl., and everything worked out. The lady is my age and works, does not have a lot of money to do anything so I’m kind of not doing anything…..except shop and go to the beach by myself which is like 5 minutes away. This is NOT what I expected my life to be at 66, but I’m doing ok. There are no jobs close except if you want to drive a half hour and I don’t. I usually babysit my grandkids during the summers so they do not have to go to summer camp (day care) so I drive from Florida every year to Michigan and then back, this keeps me busy for 4 months. My home was on the Gulf coast and was getting just a little boring doing all the upkeep on things that I used to enjoy. So, here I am. It’s not a bad arrangement at all and I’m looking in a month or two to move on to another area. Candace, I think you might like the “room share” thing. Do a search on your computer for listings and web sites that do room share, please take a look at Craig List’s it does not cost a thing. Think about it, you could move just about any place and then look for a condo. CL has a map you can see whats on the coast or any area you are interested in. When you get on CL and take a look, put in “picture” of home/condo, own bathroom, even what you want to spend a month. This does not cost a thing. Of course you will want references and they will also. Are you still in Lisbon? How did you find your place there. CL is international also. Please, anyone, let me know if I can be of any help!

    • vicki Ho
      REPLY

      I’ll be 57 in a short while. A widow twice. Single. My family does live nearby so I’m lucky there. But dealing with chronic pain limits my life from doing the things I’d like to do. I was mostly a stay at home Mom. Had to go back into the work force. It’s difficult being alone and trying to keep up with everything. Seems like everything is hard these days. Have been dealing with depression. Also have been considering renting out a room at my home..

    • Florence Gales
      REPLY

      Good Morning Candace
      I’m 70, lost my husband of 30 wonderful years, I seriously mean wonderful., it’s been 5 years. I also had a condo that I sold a year ago. Now everyone in my family except my son thought I was nuts but I sold and gave away almost everything I owned, at my age they became ( just things) I didn’t want to pay for a mini storage. I purchased the most beautiful 40′ 5th wheel( travel trailer) I have ever seen. Top of the line, leather, king size bed, washer/dryer, dishwasher, 2 lazy boy leather recliners, couch that makes into a bed and with the push of a button the big screen TV goes down behind the wall. I’m a realtor, white, have feel like I paid my debt to society and my family. I have it sitting on the waterfront with the most beautiful sun sets I have ever experienced.. I have never been so happy, I have two sons and a daughter. The only person that truly cares about me is my son.
      My other children have never come to just check on me, just to see how I’m doing, other family members, nothing and I’m 23 minutes from them. This is my choice, but I don’t know that being blood related gives them a pass, I value anyone’s friendship that will just enjoy my company. No more taxes, no more condo fees and awful mismanagement. You will pay about 350 a month but that includes electricity, water, cable etc. the trick is put it on a private lot or seniors only. I have private lot. I paid 55,000 and that was all I had. I live in Florida, born and raised here. It’s just a thought. Would love to hear from you.
      Florence

      • Debi K
        REPLY

        I am also 57, worked FT all my life mostly as a single mom. Now 2 kids are grown and gone. I had to quit working 4 yrs ago due to health/mental issues. Working was my purpose. Now I am alone, don’t like leaving the house and have no friends or family really. My son does try to help me once every couple wks for a couple hours and to get me out. But he is busy trying to work and have his own life. I don’t want to burden. I have become socially awkward in a sense (very social in my younger days) due to lack of human contact. I have always been a fighter. But my depression is taking over again – I feel no purpose. I do own my town home and rent a room that has been separated from my living part. So I don’t see them but once a month when they pay rent. I couldn’t have a renter in my home with me, just couldn’t. I just wish I had that one friend, to keep each other going and be a loyal support system for each other. The pain of this loneliness is worse than my depression, failed back surgery, other health issues, not to mention my brain doesn’t work the way it used to. I just don’t know how to keep going to a better place instead of sinking deeper into this pain and depression.

    • Paul R.
      REPLY

      Hi Candace,
      My name is Paul. and it sounds like we have a lot in common. I lost my wife of 57 years last Nov.
      I live in the pacific north west, but unlike you I have a great family that all live within 90 miles. Four kids,
      six grand kids, four great grand kids, but they don’t smother me. I am a very healthy 81 years old. I love
      working in the yard in the summer, but the winters here are wet and dreary in the winter, but I stay
      busy in side. live in town of about 25,000, and about 15 miles from a town of 75,000. I have never been
      good at approaching women, and every time I think about it, I think what have to offer as like you I have
      limited income, and funds. I would love to have a lady companion to talk with and maybe do a little traveling
      with, but I guess we have to do with what we have.
      Would love to hear from you, but if not I wish you the best, and hope you find that place to settle you
      are are looking for.

  • Cindy
    REPLY

    Hello Everyone!

    I am an unemployed 64 year old woman who is just now coming to terms with what alone means. I have been raising the youngest of my three sons alone for 20 years but he is out of the house and striking out on his own. My eldest is estranged from me due to his drug addiction and the fact that he stole so much from me. Middle son is busy with career and toddler and youngest is just now finding himself. That leaves Mom to figure out where to live and what to do.

    Middle son and wife (with toddler) seemed enthusiastic for me to be closer to them until I put my home up for sale and started looking then their enthusiasm waned, leaving me in a quandary. Do I move where I am really not eagerly wanted? It breaks my heart not to have a child that eagerly wants mom in the same town! I am healthy, independent was working until my house sold, at which time I had to resign. I am totally independent but planning for those days when independence starts to change and assistance is needed.

    The challenges of aging without a partner are bearing down on me. Those who have a mate have someone with whom they can share these kinds of thoughts. Someone who can share the challenges of selling a home, relocating and other important life decisions, not to mention the physical, social, spiritual and emotional support that comes from having a loved one close by.

    Today I feel pretty isolated and alone as it is impossible to share this with someone younger or who has a partner. I have friends, was active with my job (teaching) and have a few great MeetUp groups that I do things with. Even finding ways to connect with others my age and situation has become a task, a chore I don’t enjoy. So the task ahead for me and it looks like some of you:

    Where to live, close to family even though they are neutral about your being there or strike out for destinations unknown
    In a house (I love working in my yard), condo or apartment (both would be a cage to me)
    How to make these tough decisions when income is limited and savings nil
    Who to even bounce these tough decisions off of

    I am all questions and no answers!

    • Tom
      REPLY

      I am never married and no children single man 59. You are lucky you do have children still.
      I no longer socialize or chat with married or partnered as they don’t understand me. I feel like a reject even though I really should not think that. Such is life.. you will get through it.. we all will. Good luck.

    • cindy
      REPLY

      Is your name Cindy, too? As mine is….I was wondering just what you did decide to do last year. Did you move into a house, etc? I live in Michigan. I do not believe you said what area you are from? Let us know how things are going….Cindy

  • J Milller Wolfe
    REPLY

    Living alone was now what I expected but when my husband died, I was left alone. Fortunately, his daughters found a way for me to be on my own without being a problem for others. I have my mornings and evenings to myself and during the mid day, there is someone who comes to take me places I want to go and who are also happy to just stay with me coloring in my many coloring books. These women and the books have made my living alone much easier and I am very happy with it.

    • Candace
      REPLY

      I understand your dilemma. I am 71 and don’t know where to live that’s both safe and affordable. I, too, have no one to consult.

      I’m desperate.

      • bunnie
        REPLY

        Try looking for an income affordable senior apartment which is what I am doing. They are very reasonable even if you are just living on your Social Security. They do not have meal service but have community rooms to meet other seniors, activities and some have workout rooms for exercise. You can Google them on the Internet in your area and most have photos to look at. Many have waiting lists so you need to hurry and get on several waiting lists of the places you like.

        • Karen
          REPLY

          I am looking for a senior apartment too. I hope to meet friends. I have joined social groups, church groups, senior groups and volunteered for the homeless. I was not well received. Everyone was in their own circle and did not want to let anyone else in. I am very outgoing and friendly so this is very disappointing to me. It is really too bad that society has become so selfish. I know there are a lot of other single people out there, like me, that just want friends to chat with or do something together that they have in common. I wish all of you the best of luck!

          Lonely in CA

          • Judy

            Hi Karen –
            Where are you in California? I am separated and in the process of filing for divorce. My husband is a cheater, 65-years old , put himself on a dating site, met a 75-year old in April and moved out to live with her May 9th. Our 15tb anniversary was on tbe 4th of July (yesterday.). Yippee!!!! I live in Manteca, CA near Stockton.
            Judy

  • Peggy Evans
    REPLY

    I am right there with you all. I am 71, retired RN, (for 1 year) widowed, alone and introverted by nature. No close friends. Not looking for a man but a friend, an acquaintance . Someone that I have something in common with and with whom I can carry on an intelligent conversation. 5+ years I have been alone and it has been a surreal nightmare. I have children who are so “busy” I rarely see them and occasional texts. I want to share a text I sent to my daughter yesterday after she texted me that I live the way I chose. That I I had options.
    Me: I don’t think I have a lot of options honey. Honestly with no self pity. I went to the Y and visited. Seemed like it would be OK for water aerobics but other than that, I wouldn’t use a weight roomer walking track. etc. plus it’s a monthly fee and $700 a year for membership. I went to “Meet Up” online and looked for birdwatching groups, animal advocates things I thought would interest me. Everything seems to be central Nashville and west. The vast majority of them are for twenty somethings. I don’t want to work anymore!! I had that responsibility on me 51 years. I thought I still had something to offer life and that life could offer me in return. Being old (the calendar and my physical body says this is so) and alone in this world is not an option I wanted but here it is. The best analogy is like trying to explain to someone what having a baby is like. You can’t do it unless that person has experienced it. Getting old is the same way. Oh I don’t sit here and cry crocodile tears. At least I have had the fortune to be able to get old. I just wish God hadn’t allowed me to stay this long. I didn’t want to lose my independence and dignity. As of today I am still independent. But dignified? I don’t feel that way any more. Being alone has taken a part of my person. I often feel wheedling, and silly. The chicken lady or the cat lady or crazy granny. Everyone I know has a family, a purpose……well, they have a life! I have gotten treatment for my depression (SUCH a godsend) I am not lazy or apathetic. I stay busy but part of me is gone. That I hate.

        • Bev
          REPLY

          What I meant to say before I hit the wrong button, was I am 70 & have very busy children also. I was always married,raising my kids as a stay at home mom & then babysitting my grandchildren. Noe I’m really alone. My youngest grandson is 14 & very busy too. I find myself miserable and watching a lot of TV. Totally not me. I used to have so many friends & attended social events. Now it’s just me. I put maybe 10 miles a month on my car. Hate it but feel like I’m in so deep I can’t get out.

      • Adela
        REPLY

        Hi Doris, I was thinking next winter to spend it in some warm climate, so I may be interested in your renting me a room or something for a couple of months or so. However, before anything else, if you’re interested perhaps we could talk? Contact me here: pisardela@gmail.com. Thanx.

    • Sunny
      REPLY

      Peggy , I am 53 and I feel everything you described here.
      I have one grown child also says to me I chose my way to live , I had options.

      Obviously cause they are young and healthy , maybe even make good money do not understand at all this situation of aging . And how we live in an ageist society .
      Until I was 50 my life was pretty good.
      But once my earning potential decreased life is just downhill from here.
      I have been divorced since I was 25. But was able to make a decent living on my own to support me and my kid.
      Even put aside some retirement money.
      As I hit 50 my income declined . Had to sell my home couldn’t afford the upkeep and mortgage .
      Renting a one bedroom apartment , but soon won’t be able to afford it.
      Been living off savings , can’t really get a good job with decent pay , also a few health issues that I can’t stand on my feet for long hours.
      Money that was suppose to be for retirement won’t even last that long.
      God bless you I can’t even imagine living till 71.
      Who can even offord to live that long?

      I have a good relationship with my son but he is building his life I don’t want to be a burden on him.
      I don’t really have friends cause I was always working and didn’t have time for friendships plus really never met good quality people .
      It never bothered me being alone on my own.
      But now I see as we age people need help.
      I can’t even carry groceries like I used too , and I am in pretty good shape ( not overweight )
      If I feel like this now in my 50’s , what will happen in my 60’s or 70’s. ?
      Every night when I go to bed , I pray not to wake up.
      Sucks getting old and that’s the truth.
      And unless someone has a good support system and money to live decent ( not looking for luxury , just decent )
      There is nothing fun or exciting about aging.

  • Patsi Robison
    REPLY

    Hi,
    I have been a teacher and intervention specialist for 43 years, extremely busy and also then hanging out with the educators after work.

    I have been married but divorced long ago, dated some but no one in the picture now. I thought I couldn’t wait for retirement but now feel like a ship without a rudder. I live in Western Washington. I have tried a couple meet ups but they seemed like younger people and kind of clannish.

    I like to go to foreign and independent films, a little wine tasting, an occasional casino trip but pretty frugal with my paltry teacher pension.

    Glad to meet you all!
    Patsi

    • Diane Harris
      REPLY

      Hi Patsy!

      I’m in the same boat here in Oregon, although I’m one of those married lonely people. I’ve been trying to connect with other Boomer women but, for whatever reason, they are hard to find. I came up empty on Meetup, too, so I am contemplating starting a group myself. There have to be other women out there who want to do more than sit around. What about plays! Antiquing! Exploring new places! Taking a class! Vineyard visits! Walking on the beach! And just sitting around talking about life and laughing! There a a lot of things to do that don’t cost much — “I’m just looking!” is my mantra. It’s the connection that’s important to me.

      There are so many of us and I keep thinking there has to be a way to get connected. Women NEED women.

      Keep chugging!

      Diane

      • Emily
        REPLY

        I am in Salem and am interested in going to plays, connecting for conversation, etc. with a fellow boomer woman. I am married. Let me know if you are within a doable distance. Emily 67, mildly but progressively handicapped. I am not religious.

      • Sherry Eklund
        REPLY

        Hi Diane,

        I’m in the same boat!

        We moved to Oregon in November, fully retired. We had been traveling between San Diego and Seaside OR for a few years before the move. We always enjoyed it and I never felt a sense of loneliness.

        Now that we are here full time I feel very isolated and alone. My husband keeps himself busy with sports news, projects and television. I like to get together with people for walks, meals, music, wine tasting, exploring, movies, events in or out of the area. I’m not having any luck finding any groups or get-togethers here.
        I have been going to some exercise classes where members are certainly friendly, but I never see the same people twice. It’s a struggle for sure, and my husband doesn’t understand why his presence is not enough.

        I am 56 and my husband is 63.
        Where in Oregon are you?

        Take care,
        Sherry

      • Patsi Robison
        REPLY

        Hi Diane,
        Sorry I didn’t see this comment to me until now. Thanks for responding! I have adjusted to retirement, met a nice guy on plentyoffish and we are having fun volunteering with dog rescue and raising chickens in our backyard! I hope you are doing well! Wish we lived closer I’d love to go to movies, plays etc. with you! Take care.
        Patsi

    • Rosa
      REPLY

      Hi Patsi, my name is Rosa and also a teacher and principal for 38 years. Retirement is a strange feeling being that our jobs entailed daily and multiple human interactions. Our jobs were very rewarding and I do miss the attention.
      Prior to retiring, I practiced for 3 years , looking for right volunteer service, planning trips, and looked for a part time job. I see retirement as changing jobs to less stressful ones with flexibility.
      I have many activities that keep me busy- volunteer work, part time job at university, gym, 2 sons at home, girlfriends, church…..but I desire someone being my romantic and significant man.
      I don’t want to go husband hunting, so I will give this dilemma for God to decide.
      Good luck with the struggles, it will be wonderful for us soon.
      Rosa

      • Patsi Robison
        REPLY

        Hi Rosa!
        I missed your response to my comment and just found it many months later. I have gotten through the adjustment of retirement, found a really nice guy on plenty of fish and we are doing well. We volunteer for dog rescue and are raising chickens in our backyard! Life has a way of surprising sometimes! How are you doing by now?
        Patsi

  • Gracie
    REPLY

    I’m Gracie, I’m 70, I just want someone that i can talk to.I loved fishing,camping but since I gave up driving I now listen to music (oldies) I mostly read (supernatural romance) mainaly C. Feehan. I go to casinos, play games on my cell phone. And so on.

  • Mary Ann Lentini
    REPLY

    Hi. I’m a 69 year young widow. All my life I gave my all to my husband, children, running a business and helping my husband with his business. Never had time for socializing. Now I am paying the price. Few devastating setbacks made me feel so useless and depressed but iI am over that now. My kids are grown with families of their own and I want to make female and male friends to socialize with. I live in South Jersey and don’t know where or how to go out and meet people. Any suggestions? Tired of waiting for my family to have the time to spend with me!

    • Sandy
      REPLY

      Hello!

      I am 71 yrs young. I am a widow of 5 years for the second time. We were married 25 years. My first husband died before turning 34 with a massive hear attack. I have no children, but I do have 2 step-daughters who live in Virginia. I love both very much, but we do not get to visit much. However, we do speak by phone and send emails. I have been invited to come visit, but haven’t yet. Maybe I will, God willing!

      I attend church weekly and I love my church family. Great people who would help me for sure. I try to keep moving forward, but I do feel lonely at times. I believe that being a widow when younger is a lot easier than when you are older. Anyway, that is what I have come to realize. Another thing that helped me when I lost my first husband was my parents were living then and they supported me so much. The second time I became a widow my parents were deceased. I was lost without them. I pray for daily strength!!

    • GuardianAngel
      REPLY

      Hey. You should try a website called meetup
      I’ve known people who use it to find local gatherings in their area to meet new people. Also the perfect place to meet people more naturally is a gym. Sign up for a class (you will meet people and also improve your health which helps you feel better anyway! A class you can handle depending on your fitness level.) don’t be afraid to initiate a get together!

    • Diane
      REPLY

      Hi Mary Ann
      I can relate! Lost my partner 2 yrs ago, all my fam lives in NY, I’m in VA. I hvnt found/ made friends& I’m so lonely& alone. I crave a friendship with a man now, to have girlfriends to hang out with. Anyone out here that lives in VA looking to make a good friend? Or lkng to make a good friend regardless of where u live?

    • Marie
      REPLY

      Hi Mary Ann. I can empathize with you and I am formerly from New Jersey. I’m a 69 year old widow of 3 and 1/2 years, have 3 sons all living in middle of country which is where I am now. They are in 3 different states, by the way, all either 500 or 1000 miles apart. My husband and I went to CA for a job opportunity in 1998 and it was pretty great until he came down with memory issues and you can guess the rest. I had to move after he got laid off and wound up in TX with only son available at the time. Always feeling like I missed the chance to go home. I still think about it. It’s hard trying to blend in with my sons friends and his wife’s family. I feel like an outsider though they are always nice to me. Almost impossible to make friends as I don’t care to join most things available to folks my age. Anyway, I’m always optimistic and generally a happy person but need to get out and travel and talk and shop. Nice to read your story.

    • Lyn
      REPLY

      Hi Mary Ann,

      I read your comment and wanted to reach out to you. I want to connect with people also and live in South Jersey. If you would like to email me, Senior Planet has my email on file and has my permission to give it to you. I think we have a lot in common and this just may be the start of a great friendship.

      Hope to hear from you,
      Lyn

    • Gio
      REPLY

      I can empathize as I have devoted my life for my family now I feel I need to make time for myself and live a little I too live in southern New Jersey could use a good friend please let me know if there are any support or upcoming events in area thank you and wish everyone a blessed year.G:)

  • Lynn
    REPLY

    My life has run the course that many women have experienced: marriage (not the head over heals in love kind), kids, jobs outside the home… all-in-all productive and mostly satisfying. At 60 I left my marriage of 30 years, moved out of state, got a good job, made new friends, lived on my own and took care of myself. I’ve always felt like a strong, smart, capable woman. But lately I only feel lost. At 65 I left my job to once again move out of state to be near my children, one of whom I live with. Wow, loneliness and worry have hit me like a sledgehammer!

    Redefining oneself at 65 is hard work and exhausting. I did try a meet-up group, but all the ladies seem to have a lot of money, so it’s not a fit. Joined the YMCA. I’m looking for work again since Social Security won’t cover all my expenses, and I’m trying to balance my $ need with what I hope will be a more personally satisfying job… not just a 9-5. I do lose hope that I will ever meet a “love of my life”, but still wish for that. I can’t imagine anything better than finding the friend and love you want to go through life with… a mutually helpful, supportive, fun relationship. I will keep trying.

    • Barb
      REPLY

      My age has seemed to Stop Me….acing ,pains and just slowing down with a few friends that feel the same. I am a widow now for 22 years. Past relationships just haven’t been a match! I would Love to get up in the Mornings and find myself with a good attitude and feel like dancing. I know i must keep myself occupied. But some days ambition just runs out.

      So i will keep trying to find new things to do ,so i must lose this boredom!!

  • Karen
    REPLY

    Bit of advise to all
    Please everyone be careful on the internet. Never use your real email, name, or phone number. Never give out any personal information. Always be careful in the information you do give out and of course never give anyone any money or financial information. That being said anyone that wants a friend that they will never meet, just someone to talk with. Write me at Karenbiloxi@yahoo.com.

    • Rich
      REPLY

      Have you talked with anyone here from Ohio? If I’d become friendly with anyone I would at least have an opportunity to one day meet. I’m a male.

      • Khoe
        REPLY

        Karen you are so right, I for one was hurt many time by young women for the same reason and that is I prefer senior and elderly ladies without thinking about their age per I’m not looking for age in a woman instead I prefer caring and of course the rest will follow..
        Khoe

      • Emma
        REPLY

        Hi Rich I am also from Ohio. I am a woman just turned 60. I would love to meet some one to chat and become friends and possibly meet

  • Kate Brown
    REPLY

    I was perusing the internet under “lonely” (that’s not so easy to type to the world) and it landed me on this place. I would love to have folks to chat with via email. I do still work (at home) and spend a lot of time on a computer … that’s an old story. I’m almost 65, live in Texas, but I can’t see how location should mean much. I have great kids, but they are grown up and I sure can’t see them every day :).
    kate4friendsUSA@gmail.com

    Love to give it a try.

    KMB

    • Helen
      REPLY

      Hi Kate, I’m from Texas also and would love to correspond with you. I am doing part-time home health work just to have a few extra bucks each month. I lost my husband in 2014, my mom and youngest sister, and my lab in 2015, and this year another sister, so it’s been a bad 2 1/2 years for me. When my sister passed in April it hit me hard. I just turned 70 in July and suddenly felt very alone. My sister had moved in with me and shortly after learned she had cancer. I miss her so much, though we always seemed to fuss at each other like two kids, lol. I haven’t been able to get over it all yet but I’m trying. I like being outdoors a lot, I have dogs I love to death, and I’m trying to learn how to sew. I don’t have the knack for it but I got the sewing machine set up on the table so there’s one accomplishment! The years go by so quickly, and I miss having people to talk to. What sort of work do you do at home? I was looking online for some type of work I could do at home, though the only work I’ve ever really done was 30 years of secretarial. Well, take care, I’d love to chat with you.

  • Karen
    REPLY

    I am 61 years old and just looking for people to talk with. My last two husbands died and am not looking for a relationship. I am unable to get out and around. What are the best chat rooms or ways to find someone to talk with.?

  • Bill
    REPLY

    Well if i really had been very lucky to meet the right woman in my life to have a family which i really could have been all settled down by now with my wife and family to grow old with. But i certainly wasn’t that lucky at all which someday i hope i will since growing old and being Alone would really suck for me.

  • TheRealTruthOfAll
    REPLY

    Well for a Good man like me that really wanted to find a Good woman to settle down with, which has become so very difficult since many women these days just Don’t want a relationship anymore.

    • barb
      REPLY

      I feel the same way. I am not opposed to getting into a serious relationship, but am just looking for friends to communicate and do fun activities with. If I find someone special along the way that’s wonderful.

    • kathy
      REPLY

      i know what your saying. i have no one and it does get lonely. looking for a really nice man for a good friend and who knows maybe more down the line. In this day and age you cant be too careful but keep the faith. Someone will come along. kathy

    • Linda
      REPLY

      I was reading you message. I would like to get to know more about you. In what state do you like in? I live in MD. I lost my husband .die 11 years ago. I would like to know more about you. Linda

  • Renee
    REPLY

    Wow… So many of us all alone! I am looking for someone to go to lunch with… Shopping.. a movie.. I never posted here looking for a boyfriend… Just a friend. I’m thinking we may all have a calling here. Seek out other lonely seniors and buddy up. Like I said, I live in SoCal my email is nocrapola@yahoo.com

  • Sun Badger
    REPLY

    I am Sisyphusian in my loneliness. Every day I belive this will be the day, as I try again, to roll the right stone up the incline. At the end of the day, it falls. I am left with an all for naught. I am in a cast from ankle fusion nessisated from a parachute drop in VN. I am 100% disabled Vet So the ankle confined me to my house, of which I am the only occupant. My girlfriend of 5 years, decides to clean me out by cashing bad checks, the month before my op. Then the next month she has a new guy, just shows up. Not a word of explanation, no visits or calls. It is obvious that her new realonship is intimately realonship. I do not know what more I could have done. My childhood friend has the attitude that it is OK to take from me, following my ex gf. He works so I will not see him for several days. So I have most of my time spent with myself . I am very much the man, I am kind to a fault, intellectual with out being arrogant, cannot carry a gruge, am always giving positive my friends post I’ve pets. Never do I try to change my friend, I am generous always maybe a little to much, I am honest, loyal, sharing, one realonship at a time, I have never cheated on friend. Skinner and I really enjoy sex ( not that I have been involved

        • Marion
          REPLY

          You don’t have to be lonely. Find a house of worship that have some senior members. We make great friends willing to listen and lend emotional support when need.

          • Anna

            The house of worship that I use to go to is not exactly friendly….I am poor they are mostly rich, it is simple as that…I cannot do the things they do because you have to pay for every activity.

          • Minerva

            True. I tried that after I lost my husband of 45 years, but it became a chore trying to keep up with all the activities..I prefer to be alone, and just socialize with my children and granschildren. I go to daily Mass, shop as needed and then I just stay home. I don’t even like to talk over the phone. People exhaust me. I do read and watch TV. So I keep up with the world.

          • Khoe

            Hello, Marion, the worship centers are the worst place to be when lonely you become more lonely than ever, I supported a startup church of member of 12 people only, every Sunday I feed the all members from 12 till the church went from 12 to 313 members and I keep feeding them. In 2004 I was in terrible accident almost die the pastor was my best friend he only visits 2 times and the best part is none the members ever call to know how I was doing until this day, the pastor relocate to another State, My son my girlfriend were killed also at that time again no nobody in the call and this is 15 years, so please stay away from the worship place, the love you only when you give them money.
            Stay well.

          • Art

            yes me to stay alone don’t go no place just in fall for hunting some fishing I watch lots of tv and moves to

        • Marsha Tegl
          REPLY

          I’m single by choice and have been for a long time. The longer I’m single, the more I know it’s how I want to be. Yes, I get lonely, not as much as some people I know.
          I’m very seriously thinking of starting a seniors living alone group, a start… a way to meet others and for all of us to have others to talk with, face to face. I just have to find a neutral setting to meet in.
          Wish me luck.

          • Adela

            Marsha Tegl I WISH YOU GOOD LUCK!!! And keep me in mind as I’m very much interested. Like you, I’ve been single for an awfully long time and don’t suffer as much as all the ladies and gentlemen here, but I do like a lot belonging to groups. I live in NYC and hope you are too? Or nearby? At any rate please contact me?: pisardela@gmail.com. :-)

        • Renee
          REPLY

          I live by Palm Springs, CA. I am 100% alone. At this point in time I’m considering moving to VA. At least the cost of living is better for a senior

          • Kat M

            Hello to all. I just typed “alone and poor and 60 years old” in the Google search and ended up here. I used to live in southern California but moved to North Carolina in 2013 because my daughter was accepted to grad school here. We currently live together – she got her masters degree but is still working at Walgreens, which makes me very sad. I finally got a job for the State of NC – and I thought I was SO lucky at the time – but now I am trapped in a horrible job with people I cannot stand. I had a few friends in California – but it had become just “hi, how are you?” on Facebook and now I don’t even do that anymore. I have two work friends – one male and one female – they are both married and closer to retirement than I am – and they both travel a lot with their spouses. We do not socialize outside of work, of course. I am quite alone. My daughter has friends here now that she met while she was in grad school, so between working odd hours and going out with her friends, we do not see each other that much. I have been applying like crazy for jobs the past year, trying to get out of my current employment situation, but this State is very good ol’ boy, and southerners tend to look down on non-southerners – and I always heard before moving here that people were nicer. Ha, ha. I am getting ready to go out on stress leave, hoping I can find another job during that time. However, another thing about THIS state as opposed to California is that NC has a 60 day waiting period before you can draw disability. The California waiting period is 7 days. What is wrong with this picture? Most people are probably not on short term disability more than 60 days, even for surgeries, so this cheap-ass State gets away with not paying most people disability. There is something seriously wrong with North Carolina – but I cannot afford another interstate move. That’s my story in a nutshell, I guess – but there is much more to me than my problems! I cannot afford to travel but would be happy to email with anyone – just to chat about our lives, etc. I don’t know where my life is headed – but I’m really tired of not having any friends my age who understand me and why I worry every single day about the “future”. My email address is prettykitty54@ymail.com

          • Eileen Baca

            Dear Kat: I got to this site (Senior Planet) almost the same way you did, so paused to read you. I am also in the South, but in New Orleans. I have my master’s, but alas, advanced degrees guarantee nothing in this crazy world–at out age. Having lost everything, I live in very low-income housing. At 67 I am still extremely active–but awfully stymied by having a wonderful, valid driver’s license but a Camaro that is still sitting where it drowned years ago. I am looking for email company (no dating sites, no matches, no love interests). I would love to hear from you and will resist adding more details for now. Best, Eileen
            Kaptaintripps8181@hotmail.com

          • bunnie

            Hi Kat, I am also a senior in Raleigh NC and cannot STAND NC!!! Where are you in NC? My email is mm951@att.net if you want to email me. I don’t have much money either but I have to get out of this area, I have never met weirder or more boring people than NC! Madge

        • Leslie
          REPLY

          I understand what it’s like to be alone. All I want to do is sleep. Don’t drive so really just want someone to talk with. Live in Idaho.

      • Patti
        REPLY

        Renee: Are you still on this site? I relocated from No. CA to NJ awhile ago but always loved the So Cal area. Not very convenient to do things together but would like to be on-line friends……Patti

      • Nikki
        REPLY

        Renee,

        I’m in So. Cal. also. I’ll be 62 pretty soon. So tired of just sitting trying to figure out where to meet people my age. I have yet to retire because it scares the heck out of me….more time on my hands….alone. My own fault really, I lost my oldest boy in 2007, my depression pushed most of my friends away never to return. Helped raise my 2 grandchildren until their mother remarried and moved to Arizona.

        Loneliness is scary and as time goes on in realize I have no one to confide in, no one to call with good news or no one to talk to when I’m down. Just need a friend.