Sex & Relationships

Aging Alone Doesn’t Have to Mean Lonely

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People confuse the word “alone” with lonely.

In a society where marriage has been held up as the ideal, they misunderstand how those who’ve never married, or who are widowed or divorced, experience living alone.

Will you still need me when I’m 84?

Loneliness is not tied to relationship status, and it’s a fallacy to assume that marriage or cohabitation is the solution. Ask anyone who’s been in an unhappy, non-communicative marriage. Eric Klinenberg, the author of “Going Solo,” a book about living alone, looks at the emergence of the one-person household as an increasingly preferred living choice.  “People who live alone do get lonely,” Klinenberg says, “but so do people in marriages.”

Younger people have made living alone a choice; in the under-65 demographic, 15 million live alone and many are actively choosing single lives, at the same time proving that the old equation between living alone and being unhappy no longer holds true. Younger singles are just as happy and healthy as younger people in committed relationships. But what about the 11 million seniors who are leading single lives? According to researchers, many older singles are not doing so well.

As we age, many of us start worrying what living alone will be like.  Who’ll help if I become ill? What if I feel lonely and isolated? We worry about maintaining social connections if we lose mobility. Those of us who sought a single life and chose not to remarry after a divorce or spouse’s death might find ourselves rethinking our priorities.

Should advancing age cause people like me who are single to rethink our status? Is it time to find a partner?

In an effort to quantify the feeling of loneliness – a sense of not having meaningful contact with others, accompanied by painful distress – geriatric specialists at the University of California, San Francisco, asked 1,604 adults age 60 and older how often they felt isolated or left out, or lacked companionship. Sixty-two percent of those who reported being lonely were married.  (Click here to read more about the study.)

Maybe what we need as we plan for old age is to expand our social connections and interactions – not look for a husband.

Words – and More – With Friends

We long for meaningful relationships and social connections. That may be why increasing numbers of older people are turning to online dating sites, which offer a way to connect with others and make new friends, even if they don’t deliver a life partner.

There are other ways to connect and grow our social circles, too. Facebook is a great place to chat, keep up with friends’ activities and even play games with them, like the popular game Word with Friends. Some websites offer forums and chat rooms that encourage users to interact with others. Online friendships can supplement real life relationships.

We need social interactions and people in our lives who care about us, but living alone doesn’t always lead to loneliness, just as living with others is no guarantee of happiness. We can maintain our independent lifestyles as we age and build strong social connections at the same time.

Join Senior Planet Community’ and meet new people online. The Senior Planet Community is an exclusive platform for people 60+.  No matter your interest, there’s a community group for you to join.  Join the conversation today.  If you have any questions or need assistance with anything Senior Planet Community-related, please call the SPC Hotline at 888-479-2606 or email spc@seniorplanet.org.

 

Senior Planet is an open forum and offers articles for information only. We welcome comments from readers, but can’t be a  go-between for readers who wish to contact each other via email for any reason.  Since it is impossible to vet every commenter, Senior Planet’s policy is not to publish or share commenters’ emails  for any reason, even if requested.   

Want to learn how to meet new people?  Try some of the suggestions in this article.  

 

COMMENTS

1,460 responses to “Aging Alone Doesn’t Have to Mean Lonely”

  1. I definitely don’t want to be alone but I am. My husband of 25 years left me five years ago and it has been utter hell. I simply have no idea how or where to find anybody looking for companionship and all that goes with partnership. I have also struggled to find work and do English online teaching to foreigners and live very carefully with my capital so it lasts as long as possible. I live in South Africa. There are few opportunities here. I am open for any new beginning. At 54, asap.

    Reply to sal Slabbert

    1. Sal,you may not always feel this way,in fact there may come a time when you rejoice in being single.If you really don’t want to be alone, join dating on line, join clubs,if you can but lower your expectations and that way,you won’t be so disappointed when you find that the men of today want younger women, or rich ones.I am 57 and I definitely do not want to have another relationship.Yes, being alone can get lonely but the independence is so liberating . Good luck with your endeavours

      Reply to Liza swain

    1. I like that you stood up for everyone with out planning to do so. I my self am divorced for seven years. i am a military vet but can’t go long with men and women who love to play games with electronics and stay up all night and Sleep in every week end. I like nature I’am m moving North to a cold area for trips out ,with hiking groups and yes bonfires and happy times out in cabins while fishing and even padel boarding. I am not a cook & stay at home with tv though . I have allergies and cook \.

      Reply to Ellen Marie

  6. Allow your brain to begin an excursion through an unusual new world. Leave all considerations of the world you knew previously. Allow your spirit to take you where you long to be… Shut your eyes let your soul begin to take off, and you’ll reside as you’ve never resided.

    Reply to Eleanor

    1. I love this you are amazing to share your information of life with us thank you Jason and Belenda of Tennessee we are a family of 4 all with lupus and longing for peace with this disease and looking forward to life begining

      Reply to Belenda C

  7. My heart was crushed in early February this year 2022 and my marriage and Love life was completely muddled and broken down. I was so heart broken and i needed to put an end to the imbroglio that has affected my marriage for the past nine months because i and my kids needed my husband to be back home. I knew fully well that I must learn to love myself before anything else and i knew he was meant for me with no doubt, because when we first met till after 14 years of our marriage, he was th

    Reply to Erica

  10. I am a 63 year old woman educated professional and desperately lonely. I MUST find a place to live; where I belong, enjoy daily life, feel safe, afford a home, keep active and make friends. For 30 years,I dedicated my entire life to my family and now left completely alone.I don’t have a “hometown” to go back to and very few family members that do NOT keep in touch.I don’t take drugs, smoke, or drink too much. I want to love, be loved,and share this precious life with a partner and loyal friends.

    Reply to Sarah

    1. I am deaf 75 yro lonely twice married male. Wife’s family meddled and took my 25 year caretaken deaf-blind spouse against her will to gain control of her inheritance and force her to live their in a “hearing world” nursing home life. After 7 months with family, she’s a Hospice patient shutting down. Her family prohibits meets and communications.
      Am trying to move on finding a new retirement companion. I hate living alone unloved and unable to share my heart, fun loving and meager assets with.

      Reply to Harvey A Ward Jr

      2. Sarah I’m by myself now for one year since my wife passed away November 3rd married but 30 years been very lonely on oxygen 70% of time and I have no one to talk to are be with . Love Curtis

      3. Hi Harvey I feel your pain o live in fl my husband passed away 1 year ago and it’s hard my son left and my daughter is married I’m all alone

    3. I am a female 58 yr old with a Masters Degree and 12 hours towards a doctorate’s degree. I raised three successful children who are scattered around the world. My two grandsons live overseas. I retired after 27 years in the education field from teaching, to coordinating to serving as a principal and an assistant principal.

      This past year I started a part time job. I live in a rural area. I have a couple of friends and no ideas on how to make new ones. I am lonely. I am depressed.

      Reply to Karen Whatley

      1. Google Meetup.com and find a chapter near you. They’re not dating venues but social gatherings of numerous disciplines where people gather for dinner outings, movies, dancing etc. Too many to mention. You’ll get to meet new people and develop a meaningful social life.

      3. Hello karen,
        I understand you very well, even with someone by your side you can fell alone, that’s my case, sometimes I can’t breath, specialy during the night, i fell lost and so disapointed. I did so much for the others, is that my propose in Life? I’m tired of living.
        So sorry to write allez these deep feelings to a stranger, sorry!

      4. Am John age 77 -retired on FB am titled as loco concito! Am in Rochester- N.Y Am a sincere Roman Catholic. I live alone! I deal with loneliness also though am blessed with a one bedroom apt. Say hello!

    4. Hello I too am looking for someone to be with my wife died over 14 years ago and I have not been with a woman for years now and I am very lonely for a long time now and am looking for a person who will take the time to get to know me better and spend some time with me there is more to say about you and me if we can get together and talk.

      Reply to Fred Breeden

      1. Hi Fred ,I understand the loneliness.I’m still active.still do a lot of little things .but no partner .would like to meet you .for friendship. I like cooking movies bingo going for walks .I’m 70 still a lot of living to do .

      3. Hi, my name is Brenda. My husband of almost 60yrs committed suicide last feb. I have moved from tx to fl. It’s been hard. I just want to find some to enjoy doing simple things with. I love walk, movies and i’am a real Elvis fan. But love most music. Just start has friend and go from there

    5. sarah if i lived in the u.s.a and not the u.k i would be honoured to love you and take care of you i am 65 took care of my 90 yr old mum untill she died in may so i do know how to look after someone lol i realyly hope you find someone that deserve you
      paul xxx

      Reply to paul

      1. Hi Paul, Very nice to meet you and thank you for your kindness. Where is the UK are you? My heritage is from England and Ireland. My ancestors immigrated through Nova Scotia to New England, but, I grew up in southern US and then the West. Now, I have no connections to anywhere in particular. I would really enjoy communicating with you, just not sure how unless by email, You can respond back to my original post. Take care, Sarah

    7. Hi Sarah, I’m in a very similar position. I have been divorced for 10 years, I’ve dated some but currently an not. My son used to live with me but now he’s married and has a family I have two teenage stepgrandsons, Who I am still close to but as typical teenagers I don’t see them as much as I used to. I have a good job I have my own home but just at times feel lonely and empty. I’m in shape and active I just cannot seem to find somebody that I click with…. Chuck

      Reply to Charles Brewer

      1. Did you two connect? It is the following year and I am far away in South Africa and lonely. I still have much life in me but have not found one single middle aged man. I am not fussy, I am just looking for a companion, think I understand many men’s needs and would just like a little consideration and for somebody to share my home with me. It is awful being alone all the time. Sally
        You can contact me or if you have a friend… please I would love to become friends with a male again.

      1. Hi Carol, I also live in NH and am very isolated. I am 80 years old and have been widowed since 2016. My husband left me to live in another state and then died when he fell and broke his hip. I have been in NH for 10 years now. When he left, I moved to NH to be close to my 3 daughters, who I am not close to, and have not made any friends. I thought things would be good moving here, but it has not turned out that way. I am only interested in making friends at this point. I am depressed.

  11. I’m an older widow. I taught for 50 years, raised a son, was married for 45 years, cared for ailing parents for 10 years, and throughout it all have volunteered with more than three dozen local and international organizations. Aging alone doesn’t HAVE to mean lonely, but I think that’s a disingenuous assertion. There are people who don’t mind being alone. But there are those of us who do. What irks me is being told I don’t HAVE to feel lonely when I DO feel lonely. Different strokes…

    Reply to Ingrid Ishworth

    1. Feeling the heartache on here.
      Getting close to 60. Shitty relationships, choosing the wrong ones. My son hates me. My daughter is happy, but far away. So unhappy where I live( who I live with). Scared to start over again. So many times.
      My parents were great. Life is hard for me, but I still have moments of happiness. I don’t want to be alone, but don’t particularly want to socialize. Would love to be in love, but that seems unlikely . Commune for seniors? Any takers?

      Reply to Lynn

      2. Senior commune? Absolutely!
        I have often thought of having what used to be called a “boarding house” where solo individuals (women and men) live together in ONE LARGE HOUSEHOLD to share meals, household duties, groceries,also common areas for human interaction,projects, land for gardening, vegetables, goats and chickens for fresh milk and eggs; and to watch out for each other. Senior communities with separate homes allow to a certain extent, but, too easy to be isolated behind each closed door.

      3. Hi Lynn’ I’m Steve from Rock Hill SC. How do you feel about a partially bald 69 year old man that feels EXACTLY the way you do? I enjoy living alone but it would be very nice to have a friend to spend time with sometime. I have been all alone for 18 years and I mean ALL alone if you understand what I mean. Heck’ I would even enjoy just having someone to talk with. Would love to hear from you.

      4. Hi Lynn, I have just turned 62 and I’m working on getting my retiremt check, I am an Ordained Minister and I do drink alcohol often because that is NOT a sin when you do it moderately and in good company at dinner and other SPECIAL occasions, I am also a “singer/songwriter” and I love to paint as well. I’m also a published Author and I am currently very sad and devastated misserably stuck here in Ecuador living with my stepmom who simply hates my guts and the fact that I’m a “God fearing” man!

      5. I’m 58feel thesame my kids are al living there own lives I live in central California can’t meet anyone with substance eat ali with my dog worried when he gets old

  13. I think when we age, well, we only age. Our identity as humans, our need to socialise does not change much. I’m an audiologist based in South London, UK. I come across patients with dementia, perhaps the worse form of ageing in my experience is not loss of mobility, is loss of memory and loss of identity. So, I would like to remind everyone that if you are 55+ make sure you do a hearing test to make a baseline for your hearing and to avoid slipping into dementia. All the best and thanks again fo

    Reply to Koorosh Nejad

  14. Hi everyone.
    I was born and bread in the UK so I may seem a bit different.
    I am 81 years old and lost my wife to cancer 12 years ago, and have been on my own ever since. I was diagnosed with Dementia with a prognosis of 4 to 7 years 2 years ago.
    Allowing for the period when I will have lost my abilities, I haven’t time left to get close to to a lady, it wouldn’t be fair, but at the same time, I would love to spend intemat time with a lady.
    Am I being unfair wanting someone?

    Reply to Keith

    1. Keith.
      I don’t think it would be unfair of you to want to spend intimate time with a lady as long as you were honest with her about your condition. With all the online dating options that may be a good place to start, but please be very careful, some gals may see you as an easy target and try to take advantage of you. If you have a family member or friend to talk with about this, and how to go about meeting someone that might be a good idea. I wish you well.

      Reply to Deborah W Kennedy

    2. I’m in my 70s.from the Bx. Went to CCNY. Wife of 30yrs passed from cancer. Vietnam vet. I have MS . have many intrerests… Philosophy, rocks minerals/geology, survival/bush craft /did some mountain climbing/cave exploration/white water rafting/and then some… I live in Washington state with my lady friend of 10 years… not into druggies /alcoholics/or nut jobs who think the world owes them a living… I love life and stay clear of religious fanatics/and people who want to destroy the environment,

      Reply to Steven

  15. 67 year old lesbian here. Never had a relationship, never been a girlfriend. Being alone all my adult life is tough. I love sex, I want intimacy. But it takes two; and no one has been interested in me. It is not helpful to exalt the alone life saying one does not need anyone else; yes we do. And the one huge gap in my otherwise engaging life is the partner sphere. Ironically I’m told women are intimidated by me being so engaged with the world. So much for my authenticity attracting someone.

    Reply to R.K.

    1. Don’t worry my friend. It’s never too late and don’t lose the faith. Someone is out there for you if you keep open and just let it happen. I am heterosexual male 68 and never married. But I joined a bowling league now and trying to meet people. I have my eye on one younger 58 year old Hotty so I am always looking for that special person and it happens when you least expect it. So please don’t give up because someone is looking for you too, just have not found each other yet!

      Reply to Bob

    2. I’m a 57 year old lesbian from the U.S. I lost my wife in March 2020, right when everything was shutting down. We met in school at 12, and left home at 16 & together since. So these last couple of years are the first time I’ve ever lived alone, and because of COVID, really alone. No family, not many friends, just me and my pup Timmy. Its been challenging at times but it’s ok. I hope to at least find a good friend or two, but it’s in God’s hands. Be strong, we’ll be ok.

      Reply to Lisa Gibbs

      1. Hey Lisa, i am so sorry for your loss. I can relate, i will be 57 next month and May 28 will be 1 yr since my wife Kym unexpectedly passed away. We were together 35yrs and i have never lived on my own all family but 1 Aunt long distance a few friends but Wow many days im still in a fog and feel like im going to wake up and the nightmare will be over. I wish i had some advice or comforting words all i can say is hang in there and there is nothing like the love from a dog,Timmy will get u thru

    3. I’m with you sarah. I feel the same way, was with a women 30 plus years, got sick and she bailed. My family is gone, she was just to wrapped up in herself and did not give a damn about me. You see alot when you are out of the picture. I also don’t smoke , drink or do drugs, I’d say that’s a plus. Maybe when you have a chance we could text, by the way I’m 65 and live in so. California

      Reply to Lisa Mohr

    4. R.K. I was in a 30 yr. Relationship that went to hell when I got sick. So I’m not sure being a girlfriend or in a relationship is better. Now at 67 I have to figure something out, and my end years of life were mapped out. So now I am trying to get my happy back. I don’t have a partner now. I have a couple of good friends and a step daughter who have stuck by me. They are worth more than everything.7

      Reply to Lisa mohr

      2. I live in East Hartford. I have my home but I am widowed and would love a women to talk to. I am 77 and looking for a women to be a friend. I miss that.
        Rick

    1. To have a friend first you have to be one so you know what it is to have one. Its same as everything you do sometimes you succeed other times you don’t. Its like when your looking for something and you stop when you find it keep looking now your in the right mood no telling what you will find. Those who give up are the same who never know whats behind the door because afraid of what ever. We are at the time when we need more of whatever there is out there for us and its not going to come looking for you unless you win the lotto. What have you got to lose compared to what you gain. I am your friend everyone who wrote in is your friend and those around you are waiting for you to be welcomed into their friendship. The more you have the merry you are never have too many. Watch out xmas cards are not cheap.

      Reply to Lester

    2. I just saw this site as I was browsing. I thought it would be uplifting as seniors try and help and encourage each other. It makes me sad to see how unhappy so many people are. At 69 I went back to work part time and I love it! I think, no matter the age, we all need a purpose and a reason to get up in the morning. If we wait for someone else to make us happy, there’s a good chance we’ll just remain unhappy and lonely. My children live far from me but via phones and the internet we stay very close. We zoom and watch sporting events together. Perhaps we need to be the ones reaching out to others to be a help to them. Helping others gives us purpose. I do wish that time would slow down. There is so much I still want to do!

      Reply to Terry Knopke

      2. Hey Terry! I am too old for you BUT if I was your I’d reach out. I am not lonely at 76. My daily is my hubby 54-1/2 years is in a memory care facility in our state of Michigan. Not “lookin’ for love in all the wrong places” but a male person for friendship and FUN. So I’m in an awkward position yet I am still vertical (not dead yet). 3 terrific daughters I have zero dependence as they need to tend to their family circle. Have a super duper day & May God’s peace be with you. Suzyq

      1. Hi Alan

        I brought my children alone and gave them my all. I’m now in my mid 60s and living alone. They are all too busy with their lives to bother about me. They love me and send cards and presents on my birthday, but spend all their time with their partners families. I’m beyond heartbroken. There’s nothing I can do. I thought only bad mother’s got deserted by their children. Not true. It’s society today. We are just a burden. Especially if you are a lone parent

    2. I wonder if you are in a relationship now? I am turning 54, was married to a wonderful man who hit midlife and left after many years. I am now alone, too young to battle this way, living in South Africa, struggling to find work and just soldiering on each day on my own.
      I would love to find a partner to share life with.
      I am not that fussy, just a little consideration and kindness…. and then space to be ourselves.
      Let me know please anybody. The loneliness is hell for me.

      Reply to Sally

    1. Jack…
      How did you manage to post a comment?

      The article is interesting but like all articles solving the problem is much harder – I think.

      Developing ‘close’ friends or a friend is not easy as you get older…good acquaintances yes…

      Reply to Susanc

  20. Hi everybody,

    I want to say “ditto” to the fact that a man or woman can be married and also be lonely, painfully lonely. I want to also add, that no matter how long you date or go with someone, you really don’t know that person until you start living with them every day. I get so depressed and feel so utterly, completely all alone, I don’t think I would feel lonelier if I was on some distant planet with no other living thing on it than myself.

    When I got married almost 23 years ago, I couldn’t wait to begin all of the exciting times and intimate moments I would have with my wife. She has a son; a teenager at the time we got married, and an older sister. In no time, I could see that those exciting times and intimate moments were not going to happen. She was on the phone almost constantly with her son or sister, day and night. I had to wait my turn to get to talk to my own wife. She had her phone on 24/7, everywhere we went her sister or son called all hours of the day and night. When we went for a drive out into the country to “get away from it all,” her sister and son were always with us via cell phone. And to top it all off – she would leave her phone on even during what were supposed to be the most intimate of moments. She didn’t answer it, but almost every time, those most private times were shattered by her phone ringing.

    I tried to talk to her about it but she just got mad at me. And the more I tried to talk to her, the angrier she got. She grew to resent me so deeply, there was not an ounce of affection left in her heart for me and never has been since early in our “marriage.” I knew then that she had never intended to make me the most important person in her life, but rather to just add me to her already existing life.

    I’m almost 73 now, bald, and have only a social security check each month to my name (too many health problems make me unable to hold down a job.) Even if I divorced my wife, no woman would want to cozy up to someone like me. I sink into numbing, incapacitating depression, and I weep. I would much rather that I had never been born than for my life to end up this way… Job chapter 3 summarizes my life and myself. I’m sorry this was so long.

    Reply to Chris

      1. I am 63. Ssdi. Bipolar diagnosis in 2009. I am on meds and doing ok. My daughter I raised since I was 17yrs old threatened to kill her in front of me. I fled to another state where have stayed to be near her and my 2 grandchildren. She stopped talking to me respectfully 2yrs ago. Nothing to do with me and grandchildren who since birth bonded feel like they are betraying mom. I don’t really know. This will be 3rd mother’s day alone. I live alone 3 minutes from her. I’m live alone . Most days I am fine. She was my world. I protected her. She turned on me. I still don’t know why. Old boyfriend moved in with her around this time. She lets my 11yr old grandson disrespect me. All through text. I was close to my granddaughter who will be 20 soon. I saw her in January. I’m lost

      2. I have been alone for just a few months Its hard had to move inwith hime and his girl friend because i lived in an appartment I COULD NOT AFFORD so now its hard living with your son and girl friend He is very good to me but its still hard would better find a comption to be with at least if its just to watch tv only you can see its realy bad I am very sad we were maried for 55 years ever since I got out of high school. Please advise what I should do thanks Jeannette

      3. My name is Virginia I live alone no family friends do not want to be bothered I have been sick over a year I’m 71. No coronavirus but I just can’t listen to the news any longer, bills paid, no money for food or gas I’m very depressed would appreciate a friend to confide in

      4. I wish I had your faith. I try but my husband of 59 years has walked away and will not even speak to me now. We were together for over 60 years in total and I don’t want to live any more.
        Avril

      6. Leave God out of it. With all the children on this planet who don’t have enough food to survive and all the Sierian people we murdered with our endless wars, there is no God looking after humans or animals.

    2. Chris
      My total sympathy. Just found this site. I am alone in a house i bought 2 yrs ago to get close to family.
      Big mistake. Get no calls . Have seen 8 yr old grand daughter. 2 x in 2 yrs. Miss my 40 acre farm so much. Was never lonely there. To find so meone like you would be beautiful. I am 76 , divorced a d oh so lonely. To be honest . I really see little reason to go on. Maybe we can talk.
      Linda

      Reply to Linda

      1. A heavenly moment! When God touches souls. Thank you Chris for expressing what I am sure many of us out here are experiencing. And Linda! Oh thank you so much for reminding me about faith. Chris, Helene and Linda will be mentioned in my prayers today. Oh! And so toonwill Senior Planet. Thanks for this moment.

      2. My goodness Linda
        I’ve heard similar stories, you reach out and risk leaving your comfort zone to share that social and physical contact with those close to you. When in fact you become more alone, for you no longer have those common contacts that are so necessary
        So saying Hello
        Happy Mother’s Day
        Look forward to hearing from you
        Brian

      3. Linda, I’m A 69 Yr. Old , Who Use To Be With Thoroughbred Race Horses. I Broke Them, I Was A Jockey, Exercise Rider, Owner, Trainer, Then I Was Riding One Day, And Had A Horse Fall On Top Of Me, And Broke My Back, Which Ruined My Life As I New It. I Went Through Years Of Depression . That Happened Back In 2004, But I’m Pretty Good. But It Was Hard

      4. Hi Linda I understand your situation I’ve had very similar lonely situation I’m a 73-year-old woman I’m looking for help from my children who are nowhere to be found so it seems like a major rejection I would like to be your friend:

        Hi Linda I understand your situation I’ve had very similar lonely situation I’m a 73-year-old woman I’m looking for help from my children who are nowhere to be found so it seems like a major rejection I would like to be your friend

      5. Hi Linda, I fully realize your situation. My name is Bob and my circumstances are different as zi lost my wife 4 years ago and I am so lonely without any friends. I would like to chat with you do that we can bring each other out of our doldrums. I you are interested, drop me a line. Thank you.

      6. I read your post about moving to be closer to your family, and you haven’t seen grand child in years sad to hear that. My name is because b I’m a good listener and better talker feel free to reach out to me if you d like to talk

      7. Hi Linda where do you live.I am eighty one but still very mobile .I am Scottish and had my own forty five acre farm and worked at my job full time.been in Canada twenty one years .John.

      8. im Pat,got divorced 21 yrs ago no relationships since.a few hookups now bury myself in work no light ahead kids on there own not looking forward to 20 more years of this

      9. Linda< I grew up in NY and was married. Now I am living with my dad for over 20+ years. Things are very nice being I went from the cold temps to sun with some rain at times. Not so bad I feel. Life has been very respectful most of the time. I feel being I have lived with my dad since I began here, which has still been ok but I feel a woman would bring very sweet things into my life. that I if that appears to be kind of what you may hope for? We never know what gift we could get?

      11. I am a 80 year woman who was in a relation with a man for 35 years, he suddenly just walk away without any explanation. He is 89. It is very heartbreaking. All the friends we had we went out as couples. My children are all busy with their on lives. I would just love to have a friend just to talk to and share my feelings. Other people do not understand how lonely life can get. Adolly

    3. Your letter saddens me so much but rest assured there are plenty of people who would want your company. Go to church, meet with friends, make new friends and never wish you had not been born. Your life has been a great gift from God.

      Reply to Londyn

    4. Hello Cris, im Kevin. I found this site and read your story, i can relate very much so, ive alwaus had a hard time with relationships, just when you think you know someone think agian, I was never married but was engaged, the i thought she was the one, as soon as i moved in with her she was a compleley different person. My son was young i have him full time, she treated him pretty bad, i left no choice, she wasnt my sons mother eaither, so agian ive pretty much lost all hope for any true love in my life, by the way, i know this is for seniors, im 44 yeats old, if im not welcome i completely underdtand, i hope you all are doing well take care.

      Kevin

      Reply to Kevin locke

      1. It sounds like you got involved with a narcissist. They are really nice to pull you in, and then once they have you, they treat you badly. I’ve had the same kind of experience in 4 major relationships in my life. Please learn all the you can about narcissism or NPD. Dr Ramini on Youtube has great videos on all aspects of NPD. Some talk therapy with someone well versed in NPD could be helpful for you too. There are many red flags to look for that will help you decide upfront if you’re with a narc

    5. That is how it is for me, I don’t have any meaningful contact with people, all lies of truth that it would make my family happy of the people who still like me , and who ever did love me, my family says I only bring them bad memories, and not even if they know needs are subtle and easy if it cost something to fix it would be just as the song “love is like oxygen” The End .

      Reply to Jarbo Sunset

    7. Hi Chris, your wife is an extrovert and you are an introvert, you both have different needs. Your wife has a need to talk and be around people and that’s how she energizes herself, you have a need to be alone and quiet and that’s how you energize yourself. Knowledge is powerful and it’s important to understand what you both need. I am an extrovert, I am 73 years of age and I Live alone. Over the many years, I have been in relationships obviously with introverts (opposites attract ) and they are attracted to a woman like myself who is outgoing, talkative and bubbly, they expect or want me to entertain them and this becomes hard on me. Every individual has to be happy and find happiness on their own because depending on another person for your happiness is not something that should be put on another persons shoulders. You sound like a wonderful person and you need to know what makes you happy apart from your wife. When you learn to make yourself happy first, I believe your wife will come around. I wish you all the best and God bless.

      Reply to Belle

      1. Thank you Belle, that’s nice advice. I need to like myself again. My husband died 4 months ago and I am so sad. I’ve gone back to work but my heart just isn’t into it. My vivacious, giving husband was the only man that ever loved me and he was the love of my life. I am 55 and just wondering what the point of it all is. I’ve no children and not much family, one friend 1000 miles away. I am that introvert. I can’t just “meet” people. I need to find something around here to preoccupy myself because driving home in my car day after day, crying, just ain’t working.

    8. I would say do whatever you can to brighten your day. Go out for coffee, going out alone gives you an opportunity to meet people you wouldn’t other wise meet if you were with your wife. I have been in a dead marriage for 50 years but I live alone, have lots of hobbies, am 76 soon to be 77. It isn’t the life or marriage I hoped for but it’s what I have. My husband was verbally abusive and long ago killed my affection. You are still alive and can find joy. I don’t know about your health but fitness us a big part of my life so I joined a health club, Planet Fitness. Just being around people cheers me up.

      Reply to Maryjo

      1. you don’t deserve to be treated that way..as it is life is so short..if I was your husband I wouldn’t treat you like that..you would be overwhelmed with affection and love

    9. Hi Chris: I’m so sorry for the degree of loneliness you are experiencing. It must be horrible. I’ve been married 50 years to a man who became less and less communicative and now only talks when he can give me a speech on the latest he has read on the internet (which, of course, is all true). He meets every attempt to deal with this by becoming extremely defensive, shifts the blame to me, minimizes how I feel to where I feel diminished and almost invisible. I’ve learned he had others (woman) in his life that he collected, for lack of a better word. When I was 2 months away from a divorce, I lost 2/3 of my vision from cataract surgery gone bad. So I continued in this empty relationship due to the question of who would help me if I lost the rest of my vision. I wish I had completed the divorce b/c that life couldn’t be any worse than this one. The covid pandemic enhanced my loneliness. Thank God for our dog. Facebook and internet groups do not feel personal enough for me, too many people that you don’t truly know, just what they make themselves out to be. My health isn’t the greatest so I , too, know there is no one who would want to build a relationship with me. Loneliness is a beast. I’m sitting here alone today as spouse had an appointment and he took my cell phone without telling me. He has his own with him, too, which makes sense if he is going somewhere other than where he said and doesn’t want me to know. We have the Friends app on our phones supposedly for in case I have a health emergency. Lonely, hurt, angry, frustrated. I’m 67.

      Reply to Sue

      1. Hello Sue. I have been alone for over a year now. My wife of 54 years died of diabetic complications over a year ago. As I read what you and others say,I know I have little reason to feel sorry for myself.I shared a life with a wonderful woman. It saddens me to think a husband would treat his wife with such disrespect. Being unfaithful is a deal breaker to a marriage. One last thing. There are men out there who would value your company and friendship. You have much to offer.

    10. I am 52,female from india. Have 2 beautiful daughters n a grand daughter. Have been separated for de past 7 yrs. I live with my younger
      unmarried daughter . after i separated i met my high school crush who is married and who professed his love for me still. The first 2 or 3 years were wonderful.though the urge was more physical. Though our relationship deepened emotionally too, i find that some small mistakes from my side take more than a month to be resolved while he messages me like i am a casual friend. I apologise ,things are good for a few months and again something happens to go back to square a. I have seen this happening always. I meet him only with friends and never alone. I cannot call him up too. He either overwhelms me with messages or ignores me. I have tried moving on but have not been able to get over him. I feel nauseous thinking of being with anyone else. I want to wake up next to my love, want to take trips etc. I am so lonely i don’t no wat to do. I am unable to focus on anything else. He says he loves me and asks me to cheer up.

      Reply to Sarita rao

    11. Hmmm I feel your pain. Being in a situation you described can be damn painful. But it is not the end. So many people are out there looking for someone like you to talk and chat with. Reach out there and chat with people of like minds. God has not giving you long life to be depressed, reach out and enjoy the remaining days of your life. Cheers

      Reply to Romola Funsho

    12. Hi Chris, I do have to say life is hard at times. I lost my husband last year of 50 yrs of marriage. My life has forever changed. I’ve done alot of crying this past yr an it’s tough because he was a disabled vet so for many of those years I felt like I had another child to care for. It was tough but I really miss taking care of him. This world is a mess anymore which makes things even more depressing
      I guess what I’m trying to say is keep your chin up an try an think good thoughts. I admit it’s tough because I have more bad days than good. We got this.

      Reply to Judy

      1. Judy
        I lost my wife of 53 years last year and I am lost. I haven’t much family and would love to have friend to talk to and maybe have a coffee or occasional lunch with. I’m 77 so if that’s too old l understand.
        Rick

    13. I’ m sorry you feel in that way. I would like to know good english for try to help you in a better way. Life is not easy sometimes but always remember friendship sometimes is the best for cases like yours. . I offer my friendship, Im married but feeling alone because my husband need to works and Im always alone waiting him come back home. I dont have friends here ( my english is not very fluent) and I have some health issues keep me at home .. if I can help you in something, just let me know..

      Reply to Betty

    14. I know it’s no consolation to say you’re not alone Chris, but it is true. You don’t know me so I can be honest here. Looks are nothing to do with it. I am 65 and still considered very beautiful, all through my youth men only wanted me as a showpiece on their arm. I have a brain, but they didn’t want that. I longed all my life for a big family and my soon to be ex husband put his family and friends before me. Similar situation to you. I’m sitting alone every single day when I know I could meet another, but the enthusiasm and spirit has been taken out of me over the years with being lied to and cheated on. My husband said I was the perfect wife in every way, but that still wasn’t enough. I feel the same that I wish I hadn’t been born rather than go through this lonliness. Friends have families and husband’s. I just feel like an outsider. It’s no consolation I know. But there are billions in this situation, your not alone. Being bald is not not an issue. It’s our age and the damage been done to us by others, that make us feel so worthless. Some people are more sensitive than others and suffer more. Unfortunately we are those

      Reply to Michaela

    15. I am Joani. I keep throwing myself out of commenting…just want to say you sound young at ❤.. A weeper….is woman’s dream boat…wow.. a man with real emotion. It took me 60 years to see I was walked on being so nice. It’s hard to find respectful people. I hate to say that.

      Reply to Joani

    16. Hello, I’m 65, veteran, retired and my wife is 46 years old. We’ve been married 22 years fighting/arguing pretty much the whole time. My daughter and 2 sons are in college, and 1 son will be 18 this December. My wife hasn’t been working for 6 years claiming that she has to take kids to school. She’s an accountant but very lazy. Our home has a hefty equity and thinking of giving it to her or selling it and give money to the kids with the expensives furniture. I just want to be happy at last.

      Reply to Robert

  21. The real problem is that so many women at my age many years ago at the age of 21 never really wanted a relationship, and they just wanted to date so many guys at the same time instead settling down with only one. And when i first started going out, i really hated it since i knew that i was going to have a very difficult time meeting a good woman that would had feel the very same way that i did. In other words, most women just wanted to go out and party all the time since they were only 21. And i was the exception to the rule, and i was really hoping to meet a good woman to just be my steady girlfriend which unfortunately never happened. I was a good looking man at that time that kept in shape, worked a regular steady job, had a pay check every single week, and still i had trouble meeting a good woman. And yet so many cousins in my family really lucked out when they found love. It is like God really punished me by putting a real Curse on me for no reason when i was really hoping to meet a good woman to fall in love with me. And then when i had finally moved to another state, my luck started to change and i started dating quite a few women which i was hoping that i would finally meet that special woman, and i really did. Then we did get married after dating for three years, and that was in 1987. We were married for 15 years before she cheated on me, and she just turned out to be a low life loser unfortunately. And at that time, i had really thought that i had finally met the love of my life which wasn’t the case. Now single and alone again really sucks, especially when everyone else that i know are all settled down with their families. It is like many other people were just very lucky and blessed when they found love, and many others like us just weren’t.

    Reply to Mike

    1. Hello Mike, I understand where you’re coming from, I had 2 failed marriages and I too thought both times that I had found “the one” but unfortunately that wasn’t the case. Now I’m in my 60’s and single, not lonely. I do sometimes tend to envy those around me in happy and long standing relationship and I tend to feel somewhat isolated and out of place at times. But I just try to be happy for them.

      Reply to Rosa

    2. Hi Mike.
      Some of us may have found that one true love, but still end up at the same place you are. Lonely, feeling out of place….like you’re just sitting back watching everyone else live THEIR lives.
      My name is Lisa. I’m about to turn 52, and for the first time in my life, I feel lost, alone and alone of times scared.
      I was married to the love of my life for 24 yr. Literally half of my life. Three yrs ago, without warning, my best friend, the person i was going to grow old with, walked in the house and told me he was leaving. And he left. He was re-married in 6 months. I was devastated. I didn’t know what to do or how to live without him. For 25 yrs, I didnt make a single decision, no matter how big or how small, without discussing it with him first. That same year, 7 months later, my mom passed. She was my rock, and was my person to go to for everything. We talked EVERY NIGHT. :)
      Within 7 months, I lost my husband and my momma. I have children and siblings, but my kids are grown with families of their own and my siblings are both happily married and have wonderful lives. Of course, I’m happy for them all, but it sure gets gut wrenching, lonely watching them all be happy together, a d sharing their lives with each other. I smile, and pretend to be ok. But I cant remember not a single night in the last 3 yrs, I haven’t gone to bed and cried. People say time heals everything. For me….not so much. I’m just as sad and lonely today that I was the day he walked out of my life, and the day I held my mommas hand as she exhaled her last breath.
      I mentioned my age, and I often get angry and wonder ” why couldnt he have left me when I was still young, and had it going on??” Lol ya know..would be easy to have found someone else. But now, I’m old, fat and sad… who wants that?? :) i would LOVE to have that kind of love again…I ache for it. But the reality of it all is I’ll most likely never have it again. I guess I should be grateful that at least I DID have that kind of love, right?
      I’m just lonely. IM scared of getting older alone and having no one there to help me. I often feel forgotten.
      You sound like a man with a huge heart Mike. I pray God sends a wonderful woman to you. :)
      …..if ya have a minute, ya think you might could pray that same prayer for me? Thatd be great.
      Take care of yourself.

      Reply to Lisa R Jefferis

      1. Dear Lisa

        I shall pray for you tonight and in the future.
        I am so sorry for your sadness. Please find some kind of club locally or volunteer to help somewhere. Do anything to get out of the house. You will find someone to spend time with and with whom you can share special moments. I know you will. Have faith…
        Love,
        Michael

      3. I’m sorry for how your feel. I’m 70 and have no children – always depended on my nieces and nephew because I did so so much for them but they have their own lives. I just have no one to share my life with – I regret so many things. I find myself being envious of people who have children, grandchildren, spouses, a ton of friends – I don’t have that. I’m trying so hard to live my lonely life – but it is tough!

      5. I am praying for you Lisa. I know that has to hurt. Your still young. 59 is not old. Beauty does come from within shining out. Nothing can take your beauty away. With the love you’re wanting to share your a beautiful person no doubt. I ask the great almighty right now to let you feel and know how very much u r LOVED.

      6. Lisa,
        It was wrong the way he left you and I’m sorry about your mother. Yet though you feel you don’t have it going on (smile) I think you do. Being afraid of being hurt again is everyone’s nightmare. When you give it your all only to be deceive it’s hard to bounce back…but you have too. You are young and I’m sure have wonderful qualities. But first you need to believe in you. Go get your hair done look in the mirror and say I’m a good person because I believe you are. Don’t give up.

    3. Hi! I’ve been reading a lot of these, stories, lives,
      I just want to say, God does not punish! He loves you, He is love! God our father in heaven. He is everywhere! died for our sins. But had to be of flesh to go through with the plan for us.

      Anyway! He doesn’t punish , we have choices,
      We need to understand his love letter to us. The King James Bible would be the best. He has a plan and we need to know it. It’s beautiful.
      I am also single at 60, a young 60. I have one of mine living with me. He’s 26 moving soon!
      So I have to get into some things and meet some people! I would love to have a companion. I don’t know how to go about it. Anyway. I hope all of you find what your looking for. Be happy! Enjoy life.
      Gwen

      Reply to Gwen

      2. Oh I know I don’t have no glue and my name is Dan, I feel the same way I’m lonely in 58 and is not fun being alone it’s really depressing why I try to get on here and see who’s on here and meet new people if you’d like to talk sometime give me an email back thanks take care of my prayers are with you.

    4. Good morning my dear thank God we are still here in the land of the living enjoying the fresh breeze im thankful..its so hard to meet gunine freind to reason with but lots of good person still out there..scammers taking over im looking for God fearing friends so we can talk about the facts of life ..lots of go0od people still out there just looking for some one to share a kind words especially when the children are big an on there own..was married for 32 yrs but unfaithfulness take over so that

      Reply to Blessed

      1. Hi Fred ,I understand the loneliness.I’m still active.still do a lot of little things .but no partner .would like to meet you .for friendship. I like cooking movies bingo going for walks .I’m 70 still a lot of living to do .

  22. Hello. I found this website because my husband was a senior too, he had many illnesses but it was not a problem for us for being happy. He really loved life, we were very happy together, in our world I learned to took care of him in every single detail, He was the most lovable and wonderful husband I could ever had. I felt me so lonely since he pass away. I am 48 years old, I live in Lima Peru, he was Canadian, we were not rich but we were happy having a dinner, going to the pool, watching tv. I dont want to be alone, depressed. This covid destroyed my life. Maybe one day I will find someone to share my life with, someone who needs me , who needs a hug, who can offer me his shoulder to rely on and live in peace being happy in our world.

    Reply to ROSA

      1. Through journies of life we disembark at a station of unknowns; unlike times before when we were without fear& full of confidence. Not only have our biological abilities become challenged beyond what our heart n soul finds their way to conquer; but also, the world is ever changing beyond wisdom’s discernment for safe & stable direction.
        What is lacking most is truth. Truth holds all hope. Without hope, there’s no positive promise (aka trust).
        Without trust all else crumbles & therein is the deceitful cycle destroying any motivation in pursuing anything real.
        Therefore building foundations from fear. At every angle there are hidden agendas giving way to no reality.
        Without truth there’s only the alternative new world intentional “less than” full disclosure thinking and acceptable collateral death ro one’s soul.
        If you monitor hope leaving one’s soul, it’s a slow process as the last flicker of light burns out.
        Reaching out has stopped because HOPE was seared from living out the lies that had to be choked down.
        Only foundations of truth can restore the hope that births new life.
        Love love love

      2. Every age has its charm. You just need to know how to live. There are miserable people who are 30 and happy people who are 80. It’s all about knowing how to live your proper age.
        And properly living is how YOU want to live, not how society wants you to live your age (not trying to be pragmatic).

      1. Hi Mike. My name is Elizabeth. I read your comment and I’m sorry you’ve been unlucky at love. I have been, too, as have many people.
        I took care of my parents for over 17 years after having been married and divorced.
        Then when my Mom passed, I found myself alone. No friends living in my state (Texas) either.
        I have my dogs though, so they’ve made it much more bearable.
        I would like to communicate with a man who’s kind and wants to have a lady friend.
        I’m a conservative woman in her 60s who prays. I also read a lot. I love nature and animals.
        I’m a basically happy person but lonely for companionship and friendship.
        It’s just not right that we should be alone in our Senior years.
        We all deserve friendship and companionship.

    3. Rosa I can feel your pain and truely wish you NUMBERS CHAPTER 6 VERSE 24 THRU 26…
      AND ISAIAH 41 VS 10 & ISAIAH 48 VS 17….
      Iam 70 FAT not to good looking BUT WANT LOVE AND AFFECTION. A wee place in the country a fire place FIRE in doors and out and the love of a good woman.
      Are you the least bit interested ? if so please EMAIL ME…vicgogan7gmail.com… wishing YOU….NUMBERS CHAPTER 6 VERSES 24 THRU 26….AND ISAIAH CHAPTER 41 VERSE 10 & ISAIAH 48 VS 17…Take care my friend and may GOD give you the morning Hug over coffee and the tenderness you seek DAY & NIGHT with some one who TRULY CARES…GOD BLESS…

      Reply to Vic Gogan

  23. I’m an 81 year old new widower. My dear wife of an only 6-1/2 year marriage died from complications of dementia on her 81st birthday, 10/23/20. I have a small 2 acre farm in northern Nevada, where now, I raise poultry – chickens, ducks and turkeys, and sell their eggs, when available. I live on Social Security, but manage carefully. I’m not looking for another wife, just a nice lady with whom I can communicate, and perhaps have dinner or lunch. I lost my former wife of 49 years on July 3, 2011, and met my current wife in 2013. The quiet is almost unbearable, but I have my dogs and cats to help me keep my sanity. I’m a retired communications supervisor and union president. I’m also a farmer and former ranch hand.

    Reply to John

      1. Sounds Teresa, It is so good to hear from others that can support each other in many ways.. This gives me big hope for the last of my days, but sounds like you have it. Good luck and let me hear about anything new…

      2. Hi Teresa,
        I’m suffering from cabin fever. You may not believe this, but I had bad feelings about 2020 last year.
        I know how to be respectable online.

    2. Hi John. I am just saying hello and hoping you are safe and healthy. it’s really tough to loose our loved ones, like you said pain can be unbearable.
      i am glad you left a comment here and looks like a lot of people are responding .
      I am wishing you and everyone happy holiday and health.

      Reply to iryna

      1. I think, I need not hide my age here. I am 83. And telling 58/63 on sites. I strongly feel to join here but the truth is I have my caring and loving wife. But still I need sex chat .

    4. Hi John
      I am all alone too and in the pandemic I’m scared too but the loneliness is unbearable. I cry all the time. I have no close friends and no one to even talk to. I hope you are doing better and find happiness. This is Hell on me. Stay safe.

      Reply to Dana Price

      1. Me too. I had a breakup with my fiance a few months before covid. My only children, twins, live on the opposite coast. I cry all the time. I can not believe someone else is living in this hell I am in. I guess we will survive but honestly this is the loneliest time of my life.

      2. I’m in the same position you are exactly. If you can make yourself go outside for a walk every day it does help. I haven’t been doing that but yesterday I felt like I was about to explode so I was literally forced outside in the walk did help me. Having no friends because they all have children and grandchildren in spouses and I don’t. And having no family left and nobody to talk to at all it’s just unbearableI’m in the same position you are exactly. If you can make yourself go outside for a walk every day it does help. I haven’t been doing that but yesterday I felt like I was about to explode so I was literally forced outside in the walk did help me. Having no friends because they all have children and grandchildren in spouses and I don’t. And having no family left and nobody to talk to at all it’s just unbearable. It’s also scary not having any children or anyone to help if I become ill or die there’s no one to bury me.

      4. Hi Dana: I am so sorry you are feeling so bad. I too am feeling the sadness of not having people to talk to and visit and play games etc. I was thinking there must be a way we can communicate with others and not live in this daily sadness not to mention loneliness. I came here to take care of my brother with Parkinson’s and he died shortly after I got here. I have no other family. Would you care to visit?

    6. Hi John, I live in Ontario Canada. I am divorced,71 years old. I owned and operated a beauty salon,for many years. I do get lonely,I have a little dog,that is wonderful company. I have a younger sister,who is an Anglican Priest married,but she really does not have time for me. I have three grown children,grandchildren,but they have their own lives,and sometimes I feel so sad. Well enough about that. I understand how you feel,life it tough. Colleen

      Reply to colleen Smith

    7. John, I am terribly sorry for your loss. My husband of 38 years died in 2014. Please forgive me that I don’t like to text. I’m 70 and will be moving to Colorado in April of this year. You can contact me here

      Reply to Honey

  24. Hello i am in my early 50s i am looking for either a couple or a single man. Who have a ranch. That need help and that they have a small house so i can live in.and i would be glad to be of. Company to them and help. I would love to live on a ranch or farm i am tired of the city life. But really i never wanted to live in the city but i did. for my parents and im getting to that age that i just want to cherish the nature and lands and be in peace and quiet

    Reply to Deborah

    1. Hi Deborah…My name is Vince I live in Florida not far from the beach. I just turned 61 on April 4th. I second wife died over 8 years ago I was in my fifties. I just recently got approved for a disability for diabetes and neuropathy. I moved further up the coast with my older mother who is now 85 and really needs help as life expectancy is coming to an end.

      When she passes I will be alone in this house and so very beautiful house and I sure would like some company someone to share it with. I just don’t know what to do everyday all I do is watch TV I go back outside have a cigarette go back and watch TV all my friends have passed away or just have their own lives. I still believe I am attractive man I can’t believe I’m alone. And I would say I have an open invitation tell anyone who was normal and is in the same situation and I would like to share company.
      Vince

      Reply to VINCE

      1. I would be interested in meeting you. I live in Bartow Florida in the house by myself I am a widow 73 years old I love the beach

      2. Hi Fred ,I understand the loneliness.I’m still active.still do a lot of little things .but no partner .would like to meet you .for friendship. I like cooking movies bingo going for walks .I’m 70 still a lot of living to do .life has to go on . I always say life can be short .but long if you learn to live in the here and now . My kids are all home owners so I do travel to see them just to get away from things where I live at .I do live the summers because winters can be brutal. Nice to meet you

    2. Hi……I read your remarks and let me say ‘ I know thefeelin’…however, girl I’ve also gotta Feelin’ o.k.. What I know is you have to look at ‘hand across sky as well as ‘hand across (t”,b#, r+,r$, s*) worked waters. Remember being above!..not so earthy or b’neath all hell till cross proposals….is BesT!! I should be ..a Can-doer myself and KnoW lonely like rock none can reach!..I’m the single legend pushin’ 60. You kinda young but not naive so try being close to all nature!..penned or not and like seagull & bluebird , social good is all around you—just remember to make time for possibles while exploring the vertuals -among sacred angel-freebirds ! They can help you though if marriage is abeastiepie that don’t add up…don’t tie yourself down to farm just be woodsie and descrete towards your dominions…a saviour’s windtalker will do the rest. Let go!..it’s o.k. & theirs time..Why be so superskilled before guy makes princess’s entrance & day?… dream a little/care lots hope this helps. Think young not stung!end.[T.’teen-ager’ ..my best always]

      Reply to Tino brow#

  25. Okay, it’s August, 2020 now and there is a “PANDEMIC”!!!!!………I can’t go out to volunteer!!! I live in NYC and try to meet an attractive older gentleman in this City is like looking for a “diamond in the rough”!!!!!………..I wish I didn’t live here even when I was younger because this is the WORST CITY to be older in and even when I was younger it was BAD!!!!…Now this City has completely fallen apart as this Mayor has pretty much destroyed it!!!!…………Due to the pandemic everything has disappeared and who knows what YEAR it will come back…It will NEVER be the same again!!!!….So where can someone who is older and very attractive meet a “gentleman” that is “normal” in this City or anywhere for that matter????…………………Would love to know if there is anyone out there in this USA looking for the same thing???……………….

    Reply to Gayle

    1. Hi, healthy but not wealthy single male 69 in Webster TX, 77598 Looking for a healthy, positive, civil woman, who enjoys the outdoors, good food, thoughtful conversation, dancing and yes intimacy, I am a loving romantic man, verbal and physical.

      Reply to Roberto Maillard

      1. Roberto,

        I hear you. I would love to meet you for conversation. You are at my age. but I live St. Louis, MO. and it is too far to make that happen.

        So, I just drop you a note to let you know that we are all connected each other whether we are totally alone or not.

        Eat good food and have a glass of wine with it. That is as good as…..

      2. Hello
        I’m Tammy from waxahachie Texas
        I’m looking for someone like you
        I’m 55 with a heart and soul of a 30 year old
        I’m a very real person who believes in treating everyone just as I want to be treated
        I enjoy the outdoors living life to the best of all I got
        If you are looking fir someone like I’m am that is respectful honest loyal and really believes in the golden rule of treat others as you want to be treated them I think we could get along great

      4. Hi, my name is Mariana,I’m a retired airline employee,single (widow) I’m into weight training and outdoor activities 71 yrs, do you have a picture of yourself

      5. Hi, Deborah, I too am alone, but I really like myself, and not really looking for another in my life, I really have the best times alone.. but I know that it is not healthy to be alone, so I back you all the way.. Hope that you are well and that you have family that cares about you, that is a big thing.. forever and ever.. anyway call me if you want to talk and lets get life going on.. Love Carolyn

    3. Hi from Texas. Hang in there gayle we are all in the same boat. Soon we can go shopping and lunch or maybe a cruise. I went on a cruise to Alaska by myself last year. It was great. Good girlfriends are very good for the soul. Have a nice week and plan that next adventure soon!

      Reply to Susie

      1. Hello Carlo
        I too am here in California born and raised. The fires, the pandemic all of it has my nervous system a wreck. I’m just so lonely and alone.
        I hope we can at least write each other. Have a wonderful evening.
        Dana

    5. Gale, I too am a senior citizen living in an assisted living home. I do not need assisted living, as such, since I can take good care of myself. It is very lonely here in Salisbury N.C. but I can make it. I wish you were closer and after this Covi d-19 is over, we could visit one another. After this virus thing is over, I plan to rent an apartment and then I will be able to get out and meet other seniors. Gale, hang in there and I am sure that you will find that guy. New York is no place for you, it seems. Try some other place or come to North Carolina. We southerners know how to treat our beautiful women. Arnold

      Reply to Arnold Grqaham

      2. Hi Arnold, It’s funny how God works and I don’t know if you will even see this reply as I didn’t check my replies after I had posted my comment so it has been over a year ago. Are you still reading your posts? I am the “lady” from NYC…I really want to relocate from here, but am on a fixed income and the rents are so high everywhere!….Perhaps, you can communicate with me again?………..I “never” would give out my e-mail address, but my curiosity got the better of me…..I am a “very normal” female with integrity so don’t worry about that!

      3. Hi my name is Mary 64 years old live with my Daughter and family love my Grands. I been married but both deceased.I don’t want marriage but would like to find a good friend to go places,such as Starbucks, park,sightseeing. Most people I meet don’t drive or like to stay home.Yes I have trust issues mainly because the person either get caught in a lied or comes one time to see me and don’t come back. Most wants sex,one night stand I like to get to know person first.

    6. I am a 57 year old female and I’ve been single for 16 years. I’ve dated here and there but it’s been difficult finding my forever love. I currently live in Arizona and I sometimes live in the Bay Area, and no matter where I live there seems to be a lack of decent mature men. Men my age want to date 30 year olds. I’m so over it. At this stage in my life it’s more important to establish meaningful relationships with people my age, even if it’s not sexual.

      Reply to Diane

      1. Hi Diane,
        I’m 71. (Not dead yet!) my wife died two years ago from cancer and I’m having such a hard time living without her. I miss her laughs, her smiles, her hugs, her kisses and her never-ending support. She was only 57 and was such a dynamic person. We have 3 boys (19, 20, & 24) who also miss their mother terribly. I feel like I’m losing out if I’ll don’t find someone to share my life and live with. She wanted that.

      2. Hello , I lost my wife of 62 years in 2018. I’m taking care of myself fine, but over the years of being alone and not going out, it would be nice to chat with someone. I exercise daily, finances are in order, but lack communications with ladies in my age group. E mails would do the trick for me and hopefully for another adult.

    7. Hello my name is Bill,I’m 61 and I have been married for 40 years now. My wife passed away in 2018. Well I’m like you some what, here where I live at in ( Louisville Kentucky ) it’s very hard to find an older person your age group. So I thought I could at the least try to contact you, we could exchange pictures talk some and see where things go from there. No harm done trying. But it could be very bad just living out the rest of our lives alone when there are others like us not wanting to be alone. It might seem silly but the worst time is her time. My wife always slept my shoulder. She slept very well as I did. Sence her passing I have not had 1 night of full sleep. I read what you had wrote. It sounded like we should at least talk.

      Reply to Bill Florence

      1. Hi Bill, I’m 69 and lost my husband in Feb, 2018. I loved him dearly and am finding living alone is so hard. I have some great friends but miss the comfort and intimacy of a caring partner. I live in Washington state, have no living children, appreciate good conversation, good food and the great outdoors. If you want, maybe we could talk.

      3. Bill…. I live far away in south africa but we can talk definitely. I am intensely lonely and am in my fifties. It is now approaching the end of 2023 so perhaps you are more sorted now. I am still looking for company – even if it is conversation.. trusting it will open doors somehow, somewhere.

    8. Gayle I can’t imagine what NY is like. Florida gal here and feel your pain.
      However, I came across all these comments upon looking for a book.
      Thought I’d chime in a just say, ” Hello!”
      Still a little unsure of what I’ve stumbled upon here, lol.

      Reply to Mellibelle

    9. You sound just like me gayle, pandemic = no volunteering. There are plenty of other things to keep me busy, but they’re usually solo pursuits. There must be heaps of people like us! What a shame l live on the other side of the world

      Reply to Phil

    10. It isn’t just in NYC , it’s a problem worldwide. People are just not as sociable anymore. Men don’t want to commit because they don’t like to share their finances and expect women to pay for them…not all, but most nowadays. The pandemic has made it impossible to go out and meet anyone. Life is the same anywhere, not just where you live. I hope that makes you feel a bit better. It’s the truth.

      Reply to Sharonb

  26. I am turning 55 next month, I have been single (dated but not married for 26 years) My parents and sibling all passed by the time I was 21. I made my career my life. Now here I am. Alone. As an only child growing up I learned to enjoy being alone.I used to do everything alone with no issues but I’ve now realized choosing to do things alone when you have an option to do it with others is very different than where I am now, having no option but to do everything alone. I’ve worked from home the past 8+ years, moved to multiple states, and now here I am, alone. I feel so disconnected from the world.

    Reply to Kim

    1. I get you I’m your age 55 and chose to live in the arctic as an adventure from the ages of 37 to 47..I came back a different person and 8 years later I’m single and have little hope of finding love and companionship..its very lonely. I am considered attractive apparently not I’m lesbian and dont really have a circle of lesbian friends it’s hard to acquire as you age. Also my priorities now are dealing with my ailing parents so my life is put on hold and I keep aging and getting lonely not fun

      Reply to Sue

      1. I find myself alone at 62 from a divorce I was only married a year and a half I waited till I was sixty to get married and she turned around and and left me alone I feel like a piece of garbage

      2. Hi, healthy but not wealthy single male 69 in Webster TX, 77598 Looking for a healthy, positive, civil woman, who enjoys the outdoors, good food, thoughtful conversation, dancing and yes intimacy, I am a loving romantic man, verbal and physical.

      3. Hiya Sue:
        Just started to look at this doggone site and found your note interesting. Hetro guy, 60 just writing to say hello. 35-30 years ago lived in Denver with a lesbian and two other guys, housemates as it were. Then in my first house had a lesbian couple next door with two fierce looking pit bulls who were angels, the dogs and the ladies. Heck just writing as I read that maybe you’re a bit lonely as am I. My old man passed away in ’16 after quite a time, it is something else. If this note is awkward my apologies just saying you know, What’s up? & hoping you have had a fine day. It was always interesting the relationship I had with Cindy and the neighbors. We were never running a social gig just people we were without all of that silly sexual tension stuff. Heck maybe that is what caused me to respond. Anyway going on for a bit too long. Have a pleasant evening.

    2. hold your spirit up Kim Kim,
      if you have sugar in the kitchen go in there and make you a Sugar Man, and you remember laughter is good for the soul.
      now get up and break a leg kid.
      Earth is a big planet and there are men all over the cookie jar ( Beijing baby).
      put your fingers Boogie Shoes on and start typing. from me to you a whopping slobbery kiss… Almeria. Texas

      Reply to almetia Spriggs

      1. Wish I could have your sense of humour. I am so alone, no one to talk to. My phone doesn’t ring. Before the virus I would hop on a train, just to get out, but now, with this virus….

    4. I’m a 71 year old vibrant and active female now divorced 6 years. I met a 57 year old man who has fallen in Love with me but is married. He’s a wonderful person but financially it’s going to be difficult for him to get a divorce. It’s bern 3 years and he JUST made an appointment for a FREE consultation with an attorney. He waffles. There is a 19 year old still at home by his current wife whom he claims he doesn’t sleep with. I believe him because she is diabetic, drinks and passes out every night and us 100 lbs. Overweight. However, she’s 46 and still manages to work as a nurse. He also is a very dependable worker in the independent living business. I’m tired if waiting…
      He adores me it’s quite obvious but I can’t afford to waste what years I have left….please advise. The chemistry between us is strong but that ‘Loving Feelings’ is being stretched. I don’t need him financially either.

      Reply to Star

      1. Hi Star,
        Sounds like he’s getting something from his continued union with his wife. If he truly loves you, wants a future with you, tell him it’s time to “*hit or get off the pot”. I’m 65, finally extracted myself from a long, lonely, controlling, marriage with a control freak. Also a compulsive liar, sex addict, who controlled me by withholding monies, making me go bankrupt early in the marriage after leaving my profession (his suggest) for the kids sake. Require refresher course to return and he refused the money. After years of saving, I gave him the same option I suggested to you. He refused counseling or help so he split, with a push and ultimatum!. We don’t have the time to waste anymore like we did when we were younger. As my first doctor told me after my first break up, ‘there are more lids to fit the pots than you know”. Lead with your smarts, not your heart. If he makes the move then wonderful, but divorce can take a long time especially with $$, property and if contested. You’re looking at 2 more years at least and that’s if it’s a fast, well handled divorce. If he just makes excuses, strings you along with the “soon” word, give him the boot. He’s had it too good with the both of you at your expense for too long. I have a girlfriend in a similar “holding pattern” situation. You’ll find someone new and he might be a better “lid for your pot”. Good luck and stay tough!

      2. Just because she is diabetic does not mean she cant enjoy sex, I’ve been diabetic for about 15 years and my sex life with my husband is awesome. Better by the day. I think this guy is only looking for excuses to use you. If I were you I would open my eyes. No child holds a marriage, there must be something in his wife that he does not want to let go. And it could be called love. open your eyes

      3. Star,

        I am sure u r beautiful. But be realistic. At ur age u think u look sexier to him than women his own age or younger? Really?
        I am not trying to be cruel.

        He is cheating on his wife. (Thank u on behalf of women everywhere for holding true to the sisterhood here btw).

        Not a trustworthy guy. Once a cheater always a cheater anyway. Look up stats on this. He will and probably is” hooking up” with other female out there besides u and her, or, is at the very least banging u and his wife both.

        I have just witnessed a similar situation. One of the guys friends told me the older woman was the escape plan if he got caught cheating and his wife put him out.
        AND the cheating fellow has high hopes to, even though the older woman doesn’t have a lot, she will “take care of him when she dies”.

        Don t think this sounds good for the woman. If anything happens to her, the affair was secret. Right? Just some nice woman his moms age left him a car and her money.

        i think he would absolutely kill her to get it too. Like what meds are u on Star? What if u “accidentally took too much”. Hows ur balance? Have u fallen down stairs before?

        Run. Run. Run!

      1. Hi Janice i live in S Fl and I just lost my BFF and love of my life, an almost 12 year old Golden that I had since he was 8 weeks old. My husband who is 68 today has suffered from dementia the past 15 years so I am totally alone now and just want to die now that I lost my beloved dog.

    6. I can’t believe people on here are still trying to find romance at 65 and over. Surely by then you have had enough of looking, trying, being let down etc. All you will be is someone’s carer. Who truly wants to be intimate with another person when your body or theirs are not what they once were. I have just broken up with my husband of 20 years, and as heartbreaking as it is, I couldn’t face the thought of starting all that getting to know you again. Who could be bothered. After building up a history with a partner to go through it all again. I’m an attractive 60 year old and although I get plenty of offers, I just could not hear the thought of having to kiss some old guy with a beer belly and bad habits. One was enough. Ladies. We do not need them. All men want in their later years are someone to cook and clean for them.

      Reply to Jane Andrews

      1. Hi Jane..I’m sorry you have had such bad experiences with men. I’m 69 and my husband died almost 2 yrs ago. I miss him and I miss his companionship. He was a great guy. I’m not looking for marriage either, but it would so wonderful to have a caring partner to enjoy life with. Maybe it’s possible for you to find someone, too. I can’t believe that all that is out there are men with bad habits and beer bellies..lol.

      2. Amen to that Jane. I’ll be 64 next month and I’ve been single for 23 years. I was married twice, have two grown sons from my marriages. I also have a 19 year-old adopted son. I’ve had a few relationships through the years and have been engaged once. He turned out to be a user and a liar and left a very bad taste in my mouth for relationships. I have worked from home the last year due to the pandemic And I enjoy that except I do feel Like I Lack connections with other people. I absolutely do not want a relationship and I have not had Any interest in finding a sexual partner. I’m with you it’s more trouble than it’s worth and going through that getting to know you and all that crap holds no appeal for me. Thankfully my oldest son and 3 grandsons live close by so they’re my world. I’m just happy to read there other people out there like me who don’t need a relationship.

      4. I have been reading this site and wanted to say,I,m a 57 year old guy that’s still in good shape,It break’s my ❤️ to read some of these,I was married 12years,Then cought her cheating got a divorce and took full custody of my son untill he turned 18,I live alone, don’t drink or smoke,I wanted to say,Not all guy’s are pot belly,Lazy men,I have been the one who ended up bringing home the bacon,cooking and cleaning,There are good men out here,I,m alone not desperate.I do hope everyone finds what there looking for,belly or not.Thank you all for your time.Bert

      5. Really I don’t want that and you shouldn’t even think that way one mans problem for you shouldn’t destroy or mess up any other man who is not beer belly and just want you to cook and take care of them. Life is too damn short for that and sorry for the language. We at our age still need love. So take care

      1. Good day Lyme,,Writing from Maine. USA, I understand your loneliness,especially with this COVID thing . I’ve been to England and Scotland several times, love the nature of the people, not as brass as us Americans can be .I’m married but very lonely, unfortunate my husband has some cognitive issues.This also prevents me from traveling.. plus COVID . Oh well just found this site and would love some new friends. Take care

      2. Hi Lynne
        I don’t think we can leave e mails here or numbers for people to contact each other. If only! Would be great to make friends and just support each other. If anyone knows how we can do this, please leave. Reply

      3. Hi,
        I live alone in Derbyshire in the UK.
        I would love to make new friends either across the pond or in the UK.
        I am 64 years of age and recently retired, I find it lonely at times and it would be nice to have someone to talk too.
        I have no family around and this pandemic is making life miserable.

      4. My ancestors are from England and I was fortunate enough to visit. I would live to be a pen pal and feel as a very long divorcee we have a lot in common.

    9. Hi Kim.
      Always liked that name. It was Kim (who can remember her last name) from Broad Ripple High School. Anyway your message was interesting for reason(s) I cannot explain right off. Just how it was written I guess. You ever tried to mess around with Facebook or the like? I have not it just seems , I dunno, intrusive somehow. Maybe that’s not the right attitude in the 21st century. Super!, they do have a spellcheck on this doggone thing. Feel free to respond at your leisure. Just a friendly note Kim, hope you are doing well. BTW 60 years of age :o).
      Roy

      Reply to Roy

    10. Good evening Kim! Your aloneness due to no living relatives is my story, too. Born and raised in CA. Worked in Silicon Valley marrying my dear husband. We took in each of our mothers until passing, then when my husband had his stroke, he moved us cross country for work. He passed leaving me here in Alabama where I have felt a stranger in a strange land. Looking to sell and move to a 55+ Community in Fl. Miss common interest and interaction . Hate the thought of selling, packing up a lifetime and downsizing, all alone. Anyone also in this thought?

      Reply to Barbara S.

      1. I am 62 and have lived for ten years in south Florida. It is not easier to meet a good man in Florida than it was in NYC! Lots of people move to Florida thinking the sun will change everything – it doesn’t. And the men want women who are 20 years younger!

    11. At 60 I find myself in a similar spot, yet I feel reluctant to seek out another emotional relationship after my 30 year marriage ended. I am embracing my celibate life, but I do miss interacting with the opposite sex, the conversations, the way females are able to talk without putting up fronts or acting up with bravado. I have one close male friend who is 10 years older than me, but in great physical shape as a retired Navy Seal, so he is my activities buddy and mentor…a connection that has kept me sane at times of turmoil.

      My female friends are all married, so that gets in the way, particularly if their husbands perceive you as a threat to their marriage…because we connect in conversations…

      So…those of us who are not interested in physical/emotional relationships find it difficult, if not impossible, to find opposite sex partner/partners to get out and live active lives without the element of dating in mind. That’s what makes myself stay away from Eve. I live in a remote location within what’s known as the Radio Quiet Zone, so that makes me basically untouchable in the mind of many females….unless you are a wildlife biologist or a wildlife artist like me. If you are near this part of the World, enjoy the outdoors, aren’t afraid of the forest and the critters within…head this way and I’ll be happy to show you around…you can camp out, sleep in your car/truck, hotel, or a cot in my timber frame art studio.

      Everyone , included myself, gets down and depressed at times…some movie scene, a song will bring tears to our eyes…those moments are teaching moments…embrace them and put them in perspective. We are lonely…sometimes…many times because we are naturally loners who enjoy the company of others under our own terms. Relationships are always prone to conflict because one or the other play a willing subservient part to make it all work…that sort of game worked in our younger years. We are all grown ups and we aren’t so willfully going to give away our freedom for anything or anyone who happens to come along our pathway. Don’t expect to change anyone to your own ideal of a human…not at this point in time.

      Reply to Jayishere

  27. This is an old thread, but I’m lonely even though I have friends, I’m single + now a widow with 4 years. Two teenagers living at home, I feel as though I have no one. I’m happy on my own but being lonely is hard. I don’t want to be bothering people with my problems.

    My mum died 6 years ago, my partner 4 years ago then I lost my job, diagnosed now with ptsd!
    It’s been a rough time, my son is 18 later this year he has special needs, he is visually impaired due to an inoperable optic nerve glioma. My daughter 15, they’re both my world. It would be nice just to meet someone who’s not just interested in sex!!

    Reply to Karen

    1. Am a aged lady and lonely like you. Have a son 19yrs.i live alone in house for 15yrs and currently l losed my job due to Covid-19. Most of my time l spend in house.
      Am looking for someone to share life online. Am very much caring person who loves and trust honesty people.
      Welcome to my world if possible.
      Thanks
      Margaret

      Reply to Margaret

      1. I understand where you are. If you would like to correspond with a 62 year old gentleman in the Kansas City Missouri area, I would love to hear back from you.
        d

      2. Hello Margaret. The Lord stopped on on this link. I’m 84 and a widower this year after 59 yrs of marriage. I’m a brn-again Christain and very active in our church. I’m retired military, still active and looking for a relationship. I live in Hawaii and have my own home. Is there a call for us?

      3. Hi Tom, Sorry, but Senior Planet can’t vet or police the comment boards and who responds to them. It is our policy to remove identifying information in our comments, since Senior Planet is not qualified as a dating/meetup service.

      4. I am married. But so alone. Wish I could just talk with someone. just to chat. My son was here for a few days, he says I’m in a bad mood, that I never smile. He’s even leaving earlier than planned. But there’s a widow that likes my company, she says I’m an intelligent person. Feeling so alone and lonely, looking at myself in the mirror, smiling at myself, to encourage myself….does someone out there understand me ?

      5. Hello Margaret my name Sybil Mcnamara and i live in England my partners name is John and he is from Wales i love the Country side and Gardening and i love Reading if you would like a freind to Email tell me about yourself all the best Sybil

    4. Hi Kim… I feel for you even though my story is a bit different. I’m now a very young 72 .. have been told by different people that I don’t even look 55. But lately I have felt the age in my joints and in my moral stamina. Married for 38 yrs with two very nice sons. Hard to believe that when husband became very ill he opted to go solo .. shocked and heartbroken I did ok for first 6 mo. somehow thinking he would gain his senses. It’s been 10 yrs and one son is 3000 mi away.. the other only a few blocks but much too busy for getting together once a mo if I’m lucky. I live in suburbia and have never been so lonely.

      Reply to Louise

      1. My husband did the same when he became ill. Suddenly wanted to be single. Months later he looks a wreck and knows he’s made a big mistake, but he did me a favour as now I won’t have to be his carer. It was terrible at first after years together. But now I realise how many better off without him I am. It is lonely, but I’d rather that than put up with all his nonsense

      2. I share your pain, Louise. I am your age and never felt so alone in my life. Have no siblings and moved around too much, never putting roots down, it’s downright scary. Spent my life in management. Would love to hear from you.

      2. Bill don’t get bitter, get better! I was in a 27 year marriage with 5 children. We were multi-millionaires. He was a cheater, an abuser, tried to murder me, and involved with some very unsavory souls. He paid off the judge and 13 attorneys! I finally gave up and moved out of state to save my skin.
        Time will heal your wounds. If you let it. But I would advise to go to a cognitive behavioral therapist. I just started, and I am 67. Trust me. I repeated the pattern, got married two more times. When I saw the pattern, and of course the end result of my choices, I realized I badly need help.
        So go get help NOW for your future! It will be bright! Don’t give up on you! You were meant to be happy! Praying for you!

      3. Bill I feel you and I am a women with a dead beat husband that I despise and I dont want to leave my home because the court may make me give him money that i worked hard for to keep this house and pay the Bill’s. The maryland laws suck but I am not going to give up.

    6. Hi I sitting alone in Iowa. I am married. It is just exactly like being alone. It is a very strange thing. I thought I married the right man. For twenty five years bliss. I don’t know if he feel on his head during our move seven years ago. This man does not talk to me. He walks right by me like I am invisible. ( I am almost six feet tall) . He goes directly to his man cave. My dog sits on his lap. I guess that’s all the affection he requires. Last December I had not been feel to swell I asked him for a hug . He told me to go hug the dog. Well that was quite degrading. I have to stay because I need health insurance. I should just go sit in the ditch behind my house!

      Reply to Patricia

      1. Patricia, get another dog who sits in Your lap. Or a cat who prefers You. Ignore your roommate ( he’s no longer a husband). Do your own thing Without him. You need his medical insurance coverage which is sad, but it is what it is.
        Do you work? Are you on Medicare? If you are, apparently your Roommate’s policy covers the Supplemental portion.
        Try and go to Any Senior Meetup you have available in your area, if one’s available. Or try snd get a job which isn’t easy for Seniors, but Not impossible.
        Consider yourself Divorced. If you own your home, & it’s paid for, and got an actual divorce, you’d have half of your home’s value
        ( or equity) to start over.
        The way you’re being treated by your “legal hubby” constitutes Abuse.
        He’s either going senile or he’s just a real b*stard.
        If you decide to stay, just IGNORE him. He’s nothing but a Roommate.
        Go to the Senior Center to meet other seniors in your area. And watch your Heart. You’re feeling Rejected and Unloved, and that makes you Vulnerable to Predators, both male and female. You’ll probably outlive your ahole husband, as women tend to do, so live your life as though he’s already gone.
        Take walks with your dog, or New dog, and let your Roommate cook his Own meals and do his Own laundry.
        Take a class in pottery or painting,
        or Whatever you may enjoy, like cooking & see a Counselor for the emotional Damage that’s been done to you by the cold-hearted creature your Ex-husband has turned into. And don’t forget to Pray to God to give you the Strength you need to Survive.

      2. Hello Patricia in Iowa from Bootstrap Dove in Kansas City! Please don’t go sit in a ditch! Your head comment made me laugh! I am sure you have asked him what happened or what went wrong and why he is acting in such a bizarre fashion. So. Do you have a good girlfriend? Go have some fun, make some new friends, go online and join a bunch of groups, and every day go for a walk! Lose weight, change cloths, go buy a hot new car, live for you! It is your life! You can stay married, stay moral, but go have fun! You deserve it! Go back to school! I am 67 and have gone back to school. You meet all kinds of great folks in the zoom classes. Enjoy yourself immensely and don’t focus on what he is doing to be sad and lonely. Stay away from that thought! I have to keep reminding myself that there are a lot of people around me that are better in every way. How I wish I could have the same blessings they have! It hurts! I have the desire, but not the income to make things happen. That is why I am starting back to school. Keep your mind active and bright! Read great classics! Take up a musical instrument! Go enjoy yourself! That is what I am doing and the walks especially, and a therapist, help greatly with my ptsd! USE the health insurance for your self- help? When you get Medicare you will be good to go! Prayer works! I will pray for your happiness! God wants you to be happy! Seek!

    7. Hello Russ~ Life is short. Arizona is beautiful! I lived there many years, many years ago! Flag is gorgeous, I love the fall colors! I am glad I was able to see so many beautiful sights! That Arizona magazine has tremendous photography! I am 67 and live in Missouri. Each state has their great gifts of beauty. I hiked the Grand Canyon in my 20’s. Driving from Phoenix up to Flag one time, I pulled to the side of the road for a rest. I hiked over the embankment. Much to my surprise, I was met with the beautiful sight of an endless field of red wildflowers, that I had never seen before. You are lucky to be there!

      Reply to Bootstrap Dove

    8. Hello Russ
      I’m up here in the central valley of California. Born and raised in Blythe California. So I know the desert.
      I hope you are well and safe. I live alone and yes I’m very lonely. Maybe we can write now and then?
      Have a wonderful night
      Dana

      Reply to Dana

  29. Hi
    I’m all alone. I’m this way most always anyway though. Since I have to work and it takes up my time and energy. I never thought I’d be here at this age all alone. It’s boring and frightening at times. I feel so discouraged sometimes. It’s not good feeling abandoned by your family. Oh they talk on the phone to me. They know I’m here.
    How are you. I’m usually more optimistic. Just not today.
    Annie

    Reply to Annie

    1. Hi Annie I’m Addie..I’m alone a lot too..I’m going through divorce n it’s really hard ..but I’m prayn n keepn my head up n tryn to stay safe n healthy..I’m not young anymore so it’s hard for me but I’m ok if I had a friend just to talk to ..I just get bored n lonely I guess.

      Reply to Addie

      1. Hi Addie my name is Patty,I’m feeling the same way,I’m married,but he travel 48 states,I live with my parents because they are a older person’s,and most of my family lives here,I’m not joung,I’m 60,in CA,I just need friends who I can talk to

      2. Hello Addie , I may self have just went through a divorce after a 30 yr married ended, i do sympathize with you because I’m going through the the same as you, feel free to contact me and chat anytime, judy

    2. Patricia my name is LaLee im 59 years old never married have no children. I thought I was in a relationship for the last five years and we were planning to buy a house together and a couple of months ago I came home to an empty house. He not only took his stuff he took alot of my stuff. After I had time to get over the shock I started realizing my life wasn’t much different after he left because when he was here he ignored me or was always walking out the door to meet up with friends and I was never invited. I have no idea where he went I guess they call it Ghosted. Anyway I remember back in my 30’s I had a friend who was married kids the whole enchilada and oh how I wanted her life until one day she came to my little apartment and broke down telling me there was nothing more lonely than being with someone who pays no attention to you. I didn’t really understand until it happened to me. It is worse being with someone who is disrespectful and wants nothing to do with you unless they want something. Your in a situation where your life isnt yours to do what you want because you have this obligation for the lack of a better word. So you’re try telling yourself or he tries telling you when this happens things will get better. Well when things got better for him he disappeared. I’ve never been so frightened in my whole life he left me with nothing right when I was starting to save money for that house he took that too when he left. I’m still numb because I really thought we were going to grow old together. Don’t go in that ditch. I need a traveling partner if I don’t get to have my house I figure I’ll travel but don’t want to travel alone. If you’re in a position to do so let’s correspond feel each other out and see if we would be compatable heck I live in Kansas we could meet and see if we feel like it’s something we would want to do. This probably would get your husb and’s attention they say the heart grows fonder when you have sometime apart. I’m a very active outdoorsy kind of person. I love camping bike riding tennis horseback riding. I enjoy the simple things in life nature has alot to offer start in the US then look further past the horizon into foreign countries. I don’t know anything is possible if we’re up for it. Keep your chin up but don’t waste another day letting that man keep you from living your life to the end. I will keep you in my prayers. I’ve been praying alot and I’ve been called an Atheist. lol Take care and let me know if this is something you would even be a little interested in. If not we can still correspond by email and at least you someone does care even though I don’t know you I know what it feels like when you have no hope no one to talk too. It’s frightening. Again no ditch tonight enjoy the stars there is hope there too.

      Reply to LaLee

      1. I see a lot of comments on here about chatting and communicating with each other, can anyone tell me how that works I thought personal e mails were not allowed on this site. ?

    3. Hello Annie~
      I lived alone and went to live with a daughter, her husband, and children. They decided they did not want me there! Then I got married, he turned abusive, and I left in December! Now I am with another daughter, her husband and children. Lol. Well dear, I am trying to get out of here and off on my own because I am here but not really feeling like I should be here? I am starving for some friends or a companion, but I am separated and cannot be divorced by that state law, until one year of separation. So in January I am planning to file for divorce and end that chapter. I will have less social security, but I will work to make up the difference, hopefully.
      You are lucky to have a job. I am trying to start a new profession as a postpartum doula and am working toward my certificate. If that doesn’t work out I guess there is always Walmart or some other job.
      I would love to have a companion. Wouldn’t we all? It is just now right that a woman should be without her man, but that is what typically happens, one way or another.
      Even though I live in the same house, I still feel much like you, abandoned. Left out of things, even though they try to make me feel better. I guess it is just difficult at this age after kids are on their own. I guess that is the way we raise them. To leave home and spread their wings, be successful.
      Well take care my friend, and know that all us seniors are “left out”. Shucks.
      Well

      Reply to Bootstrap Dove

  30. Hi, Jean. I’m Jim 73 and totally alone now. I just had an agrument with my partner of 7 years. He has found someone else. I can’t even get out of the house as I’m on oxygen. I feel so unlovable right now.

    Reply to Jim Waddell

    1. Dear Jim
      Thanks for responding ( first time anyone has; I’ve posted on here every so often for a year. ) I’m so sorry you are feeling abandoned also.
      Being on oxygen you have need of someone who can bring in food and help get you to necessary appointments. My dad was on oxygen for 13 years and as I lived with my parents until they crossed (at 96 for my mom and 90 for my dad) I know the in’s and out’s of dealing with oxygen.
      I hope you are not on those old heavy metal tanks or a big concentrator where you move thru the house while tethered to it
      with a thick plastic tube. They have relatively light-weight portable systems now that you can fill with liquid oxygen off a large tank left at your home and each fill gives you from 2 to 4 hours of time to leave the house and have a bit of freedom – my dad would go fishing with his little pack over his shoulder ! I’m lucky in that I am pretty healthy. Both hips replaced 7 years ago and they’ve been like new so far so I’m rather active – just haven’t been able to make any real friend since I lost my parents and ceased being a caregiver which I’d been for about 15 years. No relatives either. I go to church. Do volunteer work. Do things at the Senior Center (they have free movies on Tue)
      but, of course, all that is prohibited right now due to the virus so have got cabin fever which is something you must also be dealing with. Because you have breathing problems you are in the highest risk group so I do hope there is someone who is bringing whatever you need to you.

      Reply to Jean

      1. This is an important avenue to share feelings.. happy I found it… wish there were a way we could group call once a month at least… now That would do a heck of a lot of good for all!!

      2. Hi Linda, I am alone also and want to date again. I have been a widower for about 5 years and I want to date a Christian woman tonight or some time this weekend. You sound like what I am looking for. I would love to meet you soon, the sooner the better. I am a Christian man and being alone just does not do it for me. I would love to meet you.

      3. I like this site I’m new to it my name is Vincent Giordano I’m 62 I have a stroke but I’m getting better and better everyday I walk go to PT just starting to drive but I’m a bit lonely

      2. Hi Jane,
        I am here on Cape Cod beginning to feel like this pandemic is starting to look like it is coming to a close.. We can begin having friends in and socializing. It has been a challenging year for everybody but older people have really felt the isolation. I have been a widow for 10 years . Would love to communicate with anyone who likes to travel. Right now I am going to go on some day trips and am planning a European trip
        I am 78, exercise on my stationary bike and go for beach walks. ..not every day, …I volunteer once a week for a Kitchen that serves the homeless and needy families. It is very interesting. Cape Cod is beautiful this time of year,: the beach, the flowers and the earth waking up. I am very interested in all parts of the US and the world. Tell me where you live, what it is like and your work life before now.
        Anything you find interesting. Del

      1. I am 68 and lost my wife when I was 56. For several years, I felt that my life was mostly over and meaningless as I slogged through that horrible time.

        But, time really does heal. It took me nearly five years, but I started enjoying life again, and mostly, started enjoying life alone. I ran across zero women who attracted me at all, much less anywhere near what I felt for my soul partner and wife before she died.

        Realizing this around the time I was coming alive again, I let go of the “need” for a partner and started realizing, with only myself, life was way cheaper, way easier and I could do as I please.

        If I feel like laying around an entire day, getting high on THC and never getting dressed, I not only do it, I revel in it. Having something to do in a day or not does not mean you have to be bored or lonely.

        I now make it a point, which I never did before, to mingle with people in, say, community rooms – or a fave bar if you have one – watching football, or some sport, and conversing with folks. Then, once you’re alone again, you do feel the glow of having communicated with fellow humans.

        Try and find the things you life and stick to ’em. Try to get rid of everything else, including a surfeit of possessions you’ve stashed for years. Downsize your home if necessary. I live in a small one bedroom apartment now, but being by myself, it’s plenty of room, yet, economical to live in.

        Life is not over. Religious or not, you have to consider that this may be it for life. Enjoy what you have before it’s all gone.

      2. no excuse to be Lonely not your fault .my brother who leaned on lil sis for dates,place to live,money all of it cant bother talk in 20 years. Dont assist relatives I did it all &0 liked me for it ,thet think they deserved more even you mom making a burden with all her money never loaned a cent but my place was to be her vacation. Love being away from all parasites. least your deeds go for your own desires ,not anothers.one day Kevin get to vegas i’ll show you natures beauty with my beautiful golden shepard..Beth. L. V , !

      3. I am with Mr. Novak 100 %.
        I am 69 and have been widowed 4 years on next week. My first and last wife died in sleep by surprise. No foregone symptom or warning at all. Anyone can imagine the devastation. After three attempts to be with someone, I found peace and tranquility by being alone. I enjoy my life with full extent and very meaningful. I changed my living environment by moving from big city to small town surrounded with wonderful nature. I bought a Jeep and have been busy to adventure the wild nature. I don’t drink, smoke, and no drug or marijuana for all my life as well as no belief in any god. But I am fulfilled with joy and happiness and will stay as it is until the final moment comes. Time heals the pain eventually and we are the driver of our life. It is all up to each individuals whether you move on or fall.

      4. Hi Kevin, I loved your comments. I live in Dublin Ireland and have been widowed for 20 yes. Once my kids were educated and out in the world I did the dating thing but like you I found no one anyway as interesting or attractive than my husband. He too was my soulmate and I now am content to be on my own. I travelled. A good bit on my own to Italy but now sold up the family home and bought a nice apartment for myself. I too revel in a day at home doing nothing except lolling about. I really thought there was something wrong with me when I came to the conclusion I didn’t need a lover or partner. Here’s to you having and enjoying a good life. Regards Maureen

      6. I totally understand I am a widow of 9 years and I had a wonderful husband. But it seems men my age want women that are at least 30 to 40 years younger than them I think they’re Brad Pitt. Are there any normal people out there that want a healthy nice looking lady that is respectable and fun-loving

      8. Alone in phoenix.Me too. After 20 years of ok and no one catching my eye who did I meet? 45 year old hustler. Yep Told him I had no money. Could not support him.My only income SS and SSI total $796.00 a month. Moved in!. Got him stimuls check. Day it came he bought a car packed up and not one word since. E-mail closed. So dont add fool like I have too. Some days I am more than alone and I know you know what I mean. I have no advice but some I know your a good person with a good heart, but that wont take away that feeling.Im 66.Hard to see a future.Cry all the time.Dont sleep much. Now is when you think to yourself “BOY IM GLAD IM NOT THAT GUY! I wish I wasnt too. Chris

      9. Hello Kevin, I’m alone now after going through a divorce, feel free to reach out and chat if you do desire too. Judy from Florida

      10. I’m 54 and divorced I just lost my job after a 28 year career that I put my life into and Covid is driving me crazy to the point where I just decided to have a one night stand with a guy that raced horses. I didn’t want it to be a one night stand – but the guy blocked me the next day. I feel like if I don’t get out of this house soon I will go crazy. I message my last boyfriend every night for almost a year and he reads my messages but never responds. He is eight years younger but lives with his parents. I just keep messaging him that we should just get in a car and leave – like old Springsteen songs. I’m thinking of getting a bunch of time share points and just traveling America from town to town. What is wrong with me? Why am I so restless – I feel like I will die if I stay inside this house much longer watching the news and movies and the news again. Calculating when my money will run out. Thinking about day trading to survive. I have a 14 year old. I just wish I could reach over and a warm strong arm would put his arm around me and say – it will be ok.

    2. Hey there Linda! My name is Carol and am in the same situation if not worse . I traveled alot and got into some bad relationships and lost contact with everyone . I lost my last family member 3 yrs ago and right after my only child Misty Rae was killed she was 8 months pregnant with a baby boy
      Gone through all alone I do not even have anyone to call and live in the worst place in the US to be alone in Norfolk, VA if you don’t have family or know anyone your pretty much screwed
      I don’t understand it

      Reply to Carol Slaughter

      3. yes time to get busy my pet dog ,cat really look out for me they visit by your side he gets me to take him round park folks say hello! its very helpful improving house , putting items in place u find lost $,jewlry great fun.. oh there is my favorite sweater ,my velvet pants, my gold bracelet ,on ,on. put on soft make up Elf is great beautiful blushes soft lip corals, bit shadow cute hat or even trendy wig fun . No excuse to feel lonely, quiet is worth alot No Stress! hope it helps Lost a younger sis to smoking didnt know she overindid but got her treasure Island. we could share notes I keep a fella friend far away we text! Men have Tempers. Bad ones Good Luck

      4. Hi Carol, my name is Sue and I certainly can relate to the situation you are in. Only I think Superior, WI is truly the worst place on earth. I put all my time and energy into my relationships and my daughter. She is now 34 and I have struggled since she was 18 to help her get off drugs. She is clean now and is living in Seattle WA. So, I too find myself alone with no family and no real friends. Plus, I am living in pretty bad poverty and having to move out of my duplex by April 30. Anyway, I guess I could go on and on. I really didn’t mean to make this about me, so sorry. I just wanted you to know I really, truly understand the situation you find yourself in now. Wish we lived closer, maybe we could have been friends and a comfort to each other.
        Please take care of yourself and at least we both know there is another that really understands our situation.

      5. Youre Awesome! Thank you for your message!! These readings really help to know that “alone”, knowing how to company yourself is actually the greatest gift one can have besides a dog. Lol

      6. Hi Carol I pray n cry for u..feeln so alone but people like me r here if u ever wanna text n talk..I’m Addie..I’m n Vegas far away but I’m here to talk n help u feel like u r not alone!

      7. Hi Carol….Betty here….Its been 2yrs..since I date …I keep busy…work two jobs ….go to the park for long walks & I go shopping…trying to find a good man ….where are they….. be strong ….

    6. Linda, greetings from Chris who has lived all alone for the past 18 years on the other side of the planet. It is quite a story! Now I am experiencing reverse culture shock trying to come back to my native land and feel like Rip Van Winkle. My solution is for everyone here to have a party because life is good and we all need to enjoy the ride. Since that is obviously not possible, well not in the physical sense at least, I will make my phone number available (it is a US number so you can call or text me for free) to any normal human who responds to this post and wants it. It would be great to have some lines of communication over here so I have the illusion of having some life lines. The more positive feedback I receive, the better it might be for all of us. Who knows, we might find from this trial balloon that we have a happening.

      Reply to Chris

      1. Hi Chris, alone in Michigan here. You had indicated you would give your phone number for texting, but I don’t see it. I would like to make some new friends around the nation and reaching out to you would be a good start. Marlene.

    7. Hi Linda I am 58 and had a stroke last year. I am a widow and still work full time as a paralegal. I have 3 children, one of whom doesn’t talk to me much, the other two are wonderful but don’t live close. I have two dogs who I cherish and really help me with loneliness. I know what it is like to be a woman living alone as we age. I don’t have any desire to date so haven’t been on the dating sites.

      Reply to Suzy

    8. Hi Linda and Kathy I agree with you 100% that online dating is for the birds the very first man that ever contacted me online asked me for money the second one wanted to know if I owned my own home or if I was renting I said you know what this is nuts I’m not doing this I’d rather be alone and have some dignity them have these scammers if you feel like you might want to chat I would love it

      Reply to cathy

      1. You are so right about online dating sites, even the so-called Christian singles sites. At 69 all I received was messages from men no older than 55 who all had broken English, i.e., “You are ever perfect and I want know you much.” And they will have a white-bread name like Rob Jones or something from Tuscon, AZ (when in-truth I’ll bet it’s more like Mohammad Harabi from Nigiers .) I read that they do this on purpose because they then know if you go for it you must be so very lonely and needy that you’ll be an easy mark for $. Dear Lord please don’t let me never get to such a low point that I lose all dignity . This corona virus scare is getting to me though. They’ll be no one to give a damn if I get sick but my sweet dog. I come to read the entries on this site periodically to see that many others are in the same boat – just wish we all lived in the same town ! Anybody in or near Bend, OR ?

      2. Jean and Cathy – Dont go on the safe sites like Match.com or Christian Mingle. All those scammers are targeting the older nice ladies there. I got the same. Go on Bumble. Haven’t met one scammer on there. All the guys are real and you can see exactly where they are in their location. But get ready for lots of “interesting” photos of male anatomy. I would say maybe 5 percent are legit guys looking for something real if you can weed through the a holes. And it’s truly amazing how many 30-35 year olds will match with you. Way more than the older guys. I don’t meet up with them – but it makes you feel pretty for a minute when they say age is just a number and they all say that.

      1. Heeellllooooo Robbie Hahahahaha that was so funny thanks for the laugh, I’m 68 living in ohio. Single, active, (except for this virus thingy, still i try to walk everyday tho). Children are grown and have their own families, so im kinda out here ( in the boonies) by myself. I still work (cleaning homes) no im not dumb two degrees, but tired of working for businesses that pay nothing to our generation. I charge what i want, work when i want, and for whom i want. Is that correct usage of who/whom ? Since this shelter in place i’ve spring cleaned my house painted, and emptied water off tarp on pool. Gettn ready for summer. I’m tryin to keep busy but running out of things to do, so i found this forum and here i am. Lol anyhow thanks for the thot of “a hit”. LMBO. Take care

    11. So many people who you never hear from. I am an attractive man, 64 but completely turned off by online “dating”…mostly a waste of time for me…never get responses from people I’m interested in and get all kinds of messages from overweight truly ugly people. That’s been my experience over several years on and off. Spent time in Europe where it’s better and more honest and open. But not in this country! Really tough, almost impossible I find.

      Reply to Geoff

      1. Geoff, You can’t go for looks that fade away. You can get a skinny girl who will still add weight and grow ugly one day so I think you are too picky. Your age mates definitely are going to have some weight on and are not going to look 18!

      3. Vera, I spent 12 years in Frankfurt, Berlin and Athens with State Dept and some military earlier (Athens). I speak German. Not really into ballet and such to be honest…more of an adventure traveler like bicycle touring while I still have a few good years left. Just took a hit to my finances during this epidemic. But can still share expenses easily. Have traveled extensively to all countries in Europe and am familiar with Portugal to some extent. Beautiful country. Maybe we should get in touch.

    14. Yes Linda. They are all scams. I am 69 living alone and my only child is 560 miles away. Tried the dating sites and what’s available is disheartening. I don’t know what the answer is but to get out and try to mix. This Covid19 is really driving me psychotic by living with stay at home and nobody with me. I wish you well and Stay Safe!

      Reply to Bob Broad

    15. I have been in a marriage and lonely for the past few years. We sleep in separate wings and have minimal conversation. It’s like lIving in married hell. I would just love to have someone I can talk to without arguing.

      Reply to Kevin

  33. P.S. This is “Gayle”, again. I would just like to add that if I had to be placed in a “category”, it would be in the Suzanne Somers, Cher category…..I am not your “typical senior”….I work out, etc. and still want to live my life to the fullest…..Normally, I would never write something like this on the Internet, but why not?….The world is getting smaller every day and there are a lot of “good people” out there to communicate with………..so, this is just a side bar to my other comment…..

    Reply to Gayle

    1. Gayle, you’re trying to find perfection in an imperfect world – stop complaining and just go out and have a good time. Maybe volunteering in an organization that helps others would expand your horizons – it can be very rewarding to focus on others for a change.

      Reply to Tina

      1. I’m 69 years old and feel that I have made a huge mistake by marrying a girl who was 12 years younger than me in1978. I had to leave the girl who I loved and still do Love because I couldn’t get a job to provide for her in Cape Breton. We were Inguaged to be married but I had to go to Alberta to get a job and she Met someone else and I lost contact with her. I have thought about her every day and I do still love her! I just want to know if she is still alive and happy with her life she chose.

      2. As with. anyone the that has problems I want to empathize with yo for I’ve came to know it could be me under similar circumstances for we are not islands unto ourselvesd .I have no answers. I live in very. loves me l area wife. of 30 yrs abandoned marriage. don’t know.why treatd wife as I wants treated. abused as child sexually and emotionally they’re before she left was miserable. I wish I could have the trust I need. so I don’t have to b lonely Hoping and Praying I may find a woman me that loves

      3. I’m. Looking for a good honest straight woman who wants me for who I am not what I have. I’m looming for a woman to share my life with. I’m 59 yrs old and I am retired. I live in South Texas and I love fishing. Movies. Walk in a park. BBQ. And some traveling. I’m no where near perfect but I have a good heart and I know how to treat a woman. I love to cook and enjoy a good honest woman that I can love and adore. If ur that woman . then I’LL be waiting for ur reply. Thank u…

      4. what a smart woman i’m a guy i’m 61 and readint eh blogs,yours was direct hit the nail on the head at our age who cares? get out and do some thing and help some one help is is worse off!

        Jonathan

      5. I agree Tina I am a 100%disabled US Army veteran and I do volunteer at the senior center in Santa Monica California I started a dominoes activities with other clients at the senior center one hour a day sometimes two hours three times a week ….I’ve been domino’ coordinator on a three day a week routine leader with also at veterans Hospital West los Angeles in different events example bingo games barbecuesAnd socializing with other veterans and veterans in service organizations as well !!! A quite busy man I am at 70 years old lots of lady friends lots of good guy friends; quite content with my single life those out there look for the positive in yourself!!! and socializing with other veterans and veterans in service organizations as well quite busy though man I am at 70 years old lots of lady friends lots of good guy friends quite content with my single life those out there look for the positives in yourself and for yourself.

      1. This reply is for Alan living in texas but there was no reply to under his message. I have spent the last 20 years being the perfect wife, great cook, always looked good for him, travelled the world with him, had a great life together, I’m honest loyal faithful and trustworthy, and he always told me how lucky he was to have me, then he got I’ll and just like that left to live alone. No one knows how another person thinks or feels, so that is it for me. Never again. I know wives who have been terrible to their husbands but are adored by them. Lonliness is the worst and that’s why we are all on this site, but as for dating again, is it worth the anguish it often causes. I dont think so

    3. Gayle, i am similar to you. Husband tells me over and over that i look 30 from the back. Im an unlimited life extensionist so i have the best hope in the universe. Still have 2 family members left and a clan 150 miles away that i keep in touch with. Im 66 and a cosmetic procedure patient and very open about it. Its the only way to keep youthful looking past s certain age..

      Reply to Sherry

      1. Why is everyone so obsessed with looks? Believe me hon , most all of us old folks don’t look to bad from the back! Aperently your cosmetic surgery hasn’t done too much for your front! Plastic people just aren’t that pretty.

  34. I never did this before, but here goes! I live in Brooklyn, New York and am a very “youthful” 70’s year old woman and although I live in the liveliest City in the USA, it can be very lonely!….Some of my friends passed away at a young age and it is very difficult to make friends in this City. I am looking to meet new friends especially where I live. I live in a part of Brooklyn that has nothing going for it in the way of socializing with others unless you go to a “Senior Center”, which is “too old” for me and I just don’t fit in there and do not like “labels” of any kind! It seems many of the people there have health issues and it depresses me. So, I thought I would reach out to the Internet and see who is out there…….I used to have a very fulfilled social life, but for the past ten years or so it’s been pretty awful…I, myself, had a couple of “health issues” that were traumatic, but overall now I am just fine, except for not having some type of social life…..I was a major art student and have taken some classes in NYC, but if anyone knows about the “subway system” in NYC, it is pretty horrible navigating it especially in the Summer. I do not do well in the “heat” of the Summer and tend to stay home when it is too hot to go out and that makes me very anxious….So, who is out there? You don’t have to necessarily live in Brooklyn although it would be easier to meet up as I had a friend in the City……..I would also like to know if anyone from my City knows of some places to go to that are welcoming! I am open to anything I can get to………….Waiting to hear from you……

    Reply to Gayle

      1. To be perfectly honest, I went there a couple of times and did not like your “OPEN CONCEPT” and found it very strange that there are no separate rooms and you are disturbed by people talking on top of one another. I think whomever planned this place did a horrible job!!!…i was also surprised that everything is on ONE FLOOR! I know that space is prime in New York and very expensive, but whomever did the planning for this place did a horrible job!…I did not feel comfortable there as I found the “NOISE” very “DISTRACTING”…..Otherwise, it would have been great!!!!..

        Any other suggestions? Any New Yorkers out there?

      2. Also, Don’t they have any Creative Art Classes? I am not that into “technology” that much….That would be wonderful if they could incorporate that!…..

      3. Well here goes, I am 66 find myself divorced and alone. I moved back to my home town (small) hoping to reconnect with my old friends. I had been gone for about 20 years and I called several of Them. They were very friendly and said(we should get together for lunch sometime,) but not one call. I don’t blame themI, I was gone a long time. I am in good physical condition, so am able to do most things. How do I start over at my age?

      5. Hi Gayle

        Haven’t read all your posts, but enough I think from here in the UK, and my own circumstances. Stop trying to make things right where they are not. You say you have loads of internal energy, so MOVE perhaps to the East Coast – but to a rural or maritime community.

        Of course you will have to consider links to family and friends – but an airport within an hour and a half’s drive, or a train station closer would resolve that.

        You could do it in stages – maybe rent a place somewhere that takes your fancy for a month – to explore, meet people, and assess. Then repeat until happy.

        A great adventure for you, and it sounds as if you have a lot to give :) Very best wishes Janet

    2. I am a young at heart 76 yr old male seeking a conservative lady of class who has no addictions. Reside in Stockton, Ca., not interested in marriage, not where I should be financially, but a gentleman that is honest, extremely loyal, considerate and enjoys companship. Haven’t dated in years, this doesn’t mean I desire scammers, I don’t, nor do I prefer far left democrats. Contact me for conversation and see where it leads. Joseph A.

      Reply to Joseph Arsanis

      1. Believe me, i get it. I’m 65, divorced, my three kids all live away. My friends and relatives are all married. I work from home and ifeel so lonely and isolated. Just having someone to talk to would be a blessing.

      2. I am a 77 year old conservative woman, widowed at 59, adjusted to life accordingly ~ have traveled quite a bit, pretty much donated all my stuff after living a good life alone, decided to live with my daughter for awhile but now looking to spend some time with perhaps another senior friend to explore
        a bit more. I do much genealogy research, and enjoy reading as well as historical movies. Have had pets in the past, but none now…do like watching/
        feeding birds during this prolonged lockdown. Was in Scotland this past February, and in the Lake District in the UK. Must be a friend out there somewhere?

      3. Joseph,
        Would like to,communicate.
        Not interested in getting married.,have been widowed for 10 years.
        What does,far left mean? Just asking .

    3. Hi Gayle,

      I live in Southern Brooklyn, a lovely area called Mill Basin. Recently retired I enjoy a lot of the classes at Kingsborough and Brooklyn Lifelong Learning. I also belong to Harbor Fitness and love their classes and their trainers. These places are very happy settings. I have made a few new friends. I am single but I feel connected and not lonely.

      Esther

      Reply to Esther Kamhi

      1. Hello neighbor! I just moved to Palatka from St Augustine, because St Aug become a massive hot mess, but anyway I was just scrolling down and reading everyone’ comments and noticed that you live in Daytona. Lolly

      2. I’ve yet to.meet a man who has a heart! After giving mine totally for 20 years it was trashed and broken overnight. I’m not bitter, but from life experience I have not seen many genuine men. I can’t believe what some women put up with just to have…someone…anyone will do. No thanks to that. Good luck in your search and I’m sure there are some good men out there, I only wish id known how easy it is for them to change their mindset practically in minutes.

    5. Hi Gayle,
      I like painting most forms of art. I was very good at art in school but was much better at engineering, so I became a project engineer and inventor, for a career, making great new ideas and patents like Optimyst (a multimillion euro business for Glen Dimplex). I am now thinking of new ideas and following my instinct.

      Reply to Noel

    6. I am from Ann Arbor MI and used to live in Essex County NJ near Newark. I am 69 and not adverse to driving out there . Can’t fly these days. Going crazy being alone in my house. I loved the City. Really miss it. Interested in friendship via messages?

      Reply to Bob Broad

    7. Hi Gayle, You sound like a interesting person that I would like to chat with….I am a divorced male in my early seventies living in Las Vegas …My name is Joe and would love to hear from you if you would like to chat.

      Reply to Joe

      1. Wow! Isn’t life amazing? I just got onto this article again after finding it by googling some other information. I had written my comment on here two years ago and I don’t even know if the people that wrote to me are still on here, but my curious nature prompted me to reach out! Hi Joe, to start with……………If you care to write to me and are still interested, we can surely be “friends”…………..Gayle

  35. I’ve often said that life is like a roller coaster ride–it begins with excitement and uncertainty, it’s full of peaks, valleys, twists and turns, and before you know it, it’s over.

    And sometimes a legacy is born.

    Without question, a lot has happened in the past 4 years since Laura passed away. As you might expect, my lifestyle changed drastically. I became a single dad. Career changes took place. Most importantly, my daughters are now a thriving 15-year-olds

    As time goes by, certain memories fade. It’s not intentional, it’s just the reality of life and time. Life carries on and brings about new memories, pushing older memories out.

    The truth is, I miss her every day. I often look to the heavens seeking her guidance, which helps me find a balance. I believe she’s transcended into an angel, protecting our daughters and I each day. The past year, I’ve seen several instances that can only be explained by that logic.

    Our time on Earth is precious. You never know when your time will be up.

    You can live life in defeat and sorrow, turning a season of mourning into a lifetime. Or you can live to the fullest, take advantage of every opportunity, and turn setbacks into positive gains.

    Reply to Robert Paul

    1. Hi I am Anne. I raised 2 wonderful married adult women. I do see them often and live them very much. I took care of my Dad until he died from cancer. Then I took care of my Mom for a very big part of my life. She lived with us fir about 20 years. Now she is 96. Within the last few years I had to place ger in a nursing home much to my dismay.

      Niw I live with my horrible cruel husband of 40 years. My life is hell. He is hell on earth. He is 70. Clinicalky deaf and refuses to kepp his hearing aids. He threw 2 pair out. He has mental illness and maybe Parkinson.
      I am attempting one mire pair of hearing aids which he says he will wear this time from walmart. I will see. I am actually in the absolute hardest and worst life I have ever had. He is driving me crazy. Going to have to take him to court if his meds do not increase and he wears hearing aids. He is low I Q too. I cannot have anither year like this. I am 67. Too old fir cruelty on all levels. Thank you for reading and listening. I do appreciate you!

      Reply to Anne

      1. Hi Anne. I’m so sorry you are living in such difficult times. Your situation sounds similar to mine. I am also 67. I’ve been married to my husband for 20 years. He is now 72. He was always a big talker but never a doer. We’ve moved to a few different homes over the years. I always had hopes and plans for fixing up the houses, travel, making friends. He always dismissed my plans, we have never been on a vacation in the 20 years we’ve been married, he finds ways of getting rid of any friends we might find along the way. Now he has health problems, as do I. He had a stroke and carotid surgery 6 years ago. He has turned very sarcastic with me. He takes medications which I know are making him mean along with his aging. He also has always been a hoarder to some degree which drives me crazy. I want to go out and make friends and entertain. I want to travel. I only have one living relative. One son who lives about 2 hours away. I only see my son and daughter-in-law a couple times a year. They are very busy with their lives. My husband has no children. All our parents have died years ago. Our current home is about an hour and a half from the city. We live in a small town with nothing to do. We moved here 5 years ago. I wanted to live in the city, but my husband wanted to live in the small town. He promised that we could go to the city when ever I wanted and go out to eat and travel. No surprise, none of this happened. I stay awake every night wondering how I can get away from this town and move to the city. How can I afford to live on my own when I can no longer work? I get very little on social security. He gets enough on social security for us to live on. I feel trapped, alone. If I leave how do I afford to support myself. I don’t know what to do

      2. Myheart feels for you. I can feel the anguish in your letter. I am 80 year old widow. Although I live with my sister it is a lonely life. I feel like I want to go all the time and not sit idle. If You like you can email me to talk.

    2. I read your comment and just want to say I love your attitude about life. You are so right when you say ‘you can live life in defeat and sorrow, turning a season of mourning into a lifetime.’ As wrong as it is to do this, it is easier. To ‘take advantage of opportunities and to turn setbacks into positive gains’ takes a lot of courage. Courage I don’t think I have anymore , or, if it is still inside me somewhere it is lost. Your words make me want to try, so, thank you.

      Reply to Kathy

    3. Forgive me Patricia, but I just had to put in my (unsolicited and no doubt unappreciated) 2 cents here to remark that the times have gone ahead and left you far.. .far. ..behind.

      I will try not to seem overly offensive to you, but your every sentence drips with ignorance.
      And your knowledge of biology and physiology is abysmal.

      It never fails to amaze me how some women are so entrenched in living in a patriarchal society that they
      are willing to embrace the belief that women are “less than,” and feel threatened by and are belittling of other women who view all people as equal and consider themselves as women to be as worthy as men.

      It is regrettable that there are people who are hostile to your daughter for her choice of staying home to raise children. That IS a job, just not one for which she receives pay from an employer. But she might do well to look ahead to her future as well as give added protection to her kids by working part-time for pay, or pursuing schooling or training for some occupation. Many women who have devoted their lives in the service of their family have been left high and dry after divorce or widowhood, or suffer in hellish marriages because they did not think about their personal finances and are stuck in bad situations without enough money to leave.

      I am sure your daughter is not “less than.” I hope she gives thought to preparing for possible future eventualities while she is still young. Christine

      P.S. The word you were searching for is “complement”
      not “compliment.”

      Reply to C. Borcsik

  36. I know how it feels. Since my wife died 11 years ago, until late last year, I had a house helper. Then it came to a point that she became more a headache than a help. So I drove her out. Since then, I have been living alone.

    Yes, there are times when I feel lonely. I drive it away by self-talk. I tell myself to get used to my new reality or perish.

    Shortly after my wife died, my daughter encouraged me to get married again. I flatly said, “No.” 37 years of marriage cannot easily be replaced. Besides, I have my wife’s ashes at home so I won’t be tempted to bring in another woman. LOL!

    Loneliness is not about being alone. It is a choice which I often utilized owing to the fact that I am an online writer.

    Reply to Joseph Dabon

    1. Hi Joseph I get it you feel lonely some days you wish you had somebody to take a walk with wish you had somebody to talk to you wish you had somebody to cook a meal with hoping that the end is not gonna be this lonely wondering how many more years do we have I’m 67 been divorced for a year my ex has moved on already found himself a girlfriend he seems to be very happy in his new life I’m not better I wish him all the best but I seem to be stuck in this lonelyPllace

      Reply to Cathy

  37. I understand what you are all feeling and my heart goes out to you. I have no children, spouse or friends and, last year I lost my beloved cat of 14yrs. I struggle with anxiety and depression along with osteoarthritis. I need a double knee replacement but the surgeon won’t do it because he said I am too sad. This makes me even more isolated.
    I don’t have a car and live in senior housing where they bully so much that I stay to myself.
    Thankfully, I just found a wonderful therapist that is helping me. At least I have one kind person to talk to. He is encouraging me to work on my crafts, join a yoga class and maybe, someday, adopt another cat.
    Hugs to all of you. If you need an email friend, I’m here. <3

    Reply to Lori

    1. Lori..hi,my name is Linda.I’m now 66 and live with my 2pups. I’ve lived here in Va ,well,I’m native to this area,joined the military,retired and came back,telling myself I would never return to Va. Yet,I did. Funny thing,all my family have passed,it’s just my pups and me. Being older I have found the the good,bad and ugly. I’m old enough to know better,people do prey on seniors and most people believe that because we have age we’re simply crazy. When I divorced,my church was not kind…I couldn’t understand how they embraced excon yet a divorcee was an embarrassment to the church. My neighbors don’t offer any help or kindness yet they mind my business more than I do. As a veteran,I was always accustomed to being around people and I enjoy helping others . One of my late friends grieved himself to an early grave,his mom died. As we get older,in today’s society,respect and compassion seem to no longer fit the vernacular of younger people, millennials,but I do sense a climate of entitlement. Never have I seen a time when children,and adult children both threaten and literally kill parents&grandparents. The whole world has become a melting pot of insanity. Having lived alone even when married,I realized if someone doesn’t share your convictions on life,then learning to let go is healthier for you. You can’t force love. Bullies by the way are bullies because they focus on a person’s weakness. Instead of living life as though it is already over,ask God for strength,be thankful and start a daily journal of all the good that you do have. What we focus on becomes our reality.If we always believe we will never be happy we can.literally miss opportunities of goodness for focusing on the negativity. I almost died in Oct of 2018; I asked God for strength and wisdom that HE would guide me. Learning to forgive those who are unkind frees you from the prison of bitterness and allows you to have a different opinion about life. Each day you awaken this side of the dirt,is a good day and today if you have no idea how to begin..ask God to give you wisdom God has a plan for you otherwise you would not be here anymore. Don’t think you have to conquer the world,just change your attitude to one of thanksgiving for today.

      Reply to Linda Harrelson

    2. Hi Lori ,

      I am sort of in the same sinking boat , although I did not have a cat !! 2 days ago and 4 years my dad died. The week before it was 14 years my mom passed. I was a caregiver / companion .
      Now I am 66 , alone running out of money and fearing for the worst because the US does not care , plain and simple.

      If you care to reach out to a lonely soul , I shall gladly reply.

      I am caucasian / alone / depress and scared , but I also have a side to me that is loving and respectful of others.
      Perhaps I am not my now best friend , but that does not mean I can not treat others wit h the respect and kindness they deserve.

      I am a christian , the Lord died for all our sins and I shall see my loved ones when my time has come.

      I suffer from autoimmune disease and associated aliments , I am currently battling not only the system that refuses to help , but arthritis and other complications.

      If you would care to have a friend , please reply

      Gary

      Reply to Gary Ingerson

      1. Hi Everyone
        I live on the Coast in North Carolina. I came here to retire and enjoy the beach. A month after I arrived, I got sicker than a dog and it turned out to be MS and Lupus. Now I can’t walk a straight line or be in the sun.
        I have three kids. They are healthy, independent, and drug and alcohol-free, thank God. They all live more than 1000 miles from me. None of them offered to come and help me when I was recovering. Four years ago I went to Colorado to visit my middle son. He absolutely ignored me almost the entire time I was there. I have four sisters that don’t speak to me. We were raised to ignore and dislike one another. My mother was a piece of work.
        I have one brother. He is no neurotic and depressed his name is in the Webster’s Dictionary as the definitions. He lives with me. It took me years to get used to him being here. He is also the biggest slob in NC. He can’t help it. He was so abused. Again, my mother was a piece of work.
        I have been alone to try to recover from MS and Lupus. I think I’ve done a good job. Since I wasn’t allowed to socialize when I lived at home, I have learned to live in solitude. Sometimes crowds get on my nerve so bad I have to go to Walmart in the middle of the night. I wish I had someone to really care about me. I never have. Should I be careful what I wish for? It’s backfired on me before. Thanks for listening.

      2. If you or anyone else that you know or are aware of is being bullied in an elderly facility, contact the Ombudsman Program, they will put an end to the situation at hand, they will put an end to Elder Abuse!

      3. God does work in mysterious ways I truly belive in him because things or epasodes or gifts that could only happen inf he wanted it that way only happened because he is truly out there if you pray hard enough he will answer it might not be what u want but something is going to happen it does for me im not kidding !!!

      6. I like your outlook and also believe in it. I lived solo and did not have any problems with it as I stayed active and did not expect any relationship to progress towards anything but a friendship basis. I love people and love activities that include them.

      7. I am Australian ,aged 70.years old. I I share my house with a couple not just to help pay the mortgage but for companionship.He is 40years old and she is 29 years old.
        Twice a week I attend the University of the Third Age (U 3a)where I study anthropology and classical history.
        My local U3a has over 1500 members all over 55 , and offers over 100 different courses.
        All the tutors are volunteers
        Since I joined two years ago I have mde many new friends and acquaintances .
        Isolation is a huge problem here in Autralia too.
        Organisations like U3a certainly address this issue.

      8. Gary
        I have multiple sclerosis and lupus. I’m thinking you have the same thing. I would like to hear from you. I am 65, alone, and I live on the coast of NC. Sounds nice but yesterday the heat index was 110. I can’t even get the mail before my skin begins to blister. I hope to hear from you.

      10. Hi my name is Charlotte I live alone in Brooklyn, NY. We can begin to chat sometime I would like that. This is my first time reaching out to chat online. Looking forward to chatting with you.
        All the best,
        Charlotte

      11. Hi Lori my name is Rose and I am exactly like you. So know that you are not alone. I was married for 20 years and 14 yrs ago he passed away. I was lonely so I called my one friend and we started going places. It was alot of fun. Then after some yrs later she decided to move
        She’s so far away and wanted me to move with her. I don’t want to live in a hot climate. So now here I am in depression and extreme lonliness. I never had kids and my parents died. I have brothers and a sister, but my stepmother doesn’t want me over anymore and has brain washed my siblings. They don’t call and I haven’t seen.them in 28 yrs. I’ve had one knee surgery and now I’m going to therapy again. I have osteoporosis and osteoarthritis in my knees, back and ankles and also depression. I was so glad to read your story and it’s sad what we’re going through. Maybe if you had an old friend of the past you could give her a call. Or if you play bingo, many women go alone. I only wish you the best. I’ll be praying for us.

      12. Hi
        I am a 63 year old newly divorced woman…
        I have lost pretty much everything to my ex husband…
        I am very lonely and new in LA area till I can find a place in Northern California near my kids.
        I have been feeling depressed and sad trying to figure out my next chapter in life…
        If anyone can relate please reach out cause I could use a friend.
        Thank You
        Lory

      13. Hello everyone–I am 68 and live alone in a 55+ community. I love that there are activities and the people are so great. I was trying to think of a way for the singles here to let each other know that we are ok. Just this morning out of the blue, I had a scary dizzy spell and with 2 dogs, I worry that I could pass out or even die and nobody would know. Has anyone else ever thought about this. Maybe find someone to give an extra key to that you can trust, or an email chain. Any thoughts.

      14. Jane,

        I am 62 and live alone with my dog. I wish I lived in a 55+ community. I know that if something happened to me no one would find me for days. I still work (for one more year) so I know if I didn’t show up for work someone would eventually come to my house. On the weekends my phone never rings, I have work acquaintances but no good friends. I fell not long ago, luckily wasn’t hurt but if I had not been able to get up I would have laid on the floor for days. I signed up for Life Alert after that. I have pretty bad arthritis in my back and weakness in my legs from two hip replacements so I do think about if something were to happen. I will probably move to a retirement community after I retire. I know I’ll be the youngest one there but at least there will be people around. I definitely know how you feel.

      15. Here’s the problem. Many seniors get depressed, understandably. Being alone and feeling worthless and lonely. But you have to realize these things are the very things that keep you from pulling yourselves out of these doldrums. It’s a viscous circle. But the only way to remedy these negative feelings is to become as interesting and engaged in life as much as possible. Don’t allow yourself to become boring. No one is attracted to boring, depressed and negative people. You have to become a jewel…one that shines and lights up the world her them. That is attractive and once you become that person who shines people will be attracted to you, like a light in the night beckons moths. Ask yourself this – would you like to hang around people that are constantly down, depressed and negative? Of course not! There is so much in life to be thankful for. You can take advantage of opportunities that will continually progress your mind and stimulate your well being. Resist letting negativity drag you down. Come alive again and stop planning for the end…but instead plan to live. Be a mover and a shaker. Volunteer to help others. Live a good life and thank your god for the beautiful opportunity he has laid before you. Look up, not at your feet. And you know you can do it. There is no great mystery to a fulfilling life. It is nothing more than a change of mind, positive thinking sparked by what is truly real – the glory of life and existence! Get yourself some!

      16. Hi
        I am a 63 year old newly divorced woman…
        I have lost pretty much everything to my ex husband…
        I am very lonely and new in LA area till I can find a place in Northern California near my kids.
        I have been feeling depressed and sad trying to figure out my next chapter in life…
        If anyone can relate please reach out cause I could use a friend.
        Thank You
        Lory

    6. Hi, Lori
      I, too, have no children, husband, or friends (acquaintances only – those who when you run into them, give you the obligatory hug that means nothing, ask how you are and without waiting for a reply, launch into the latest about themselves & their families.) If I begin to tell them anything about myself that goes on for more than 30 seconds, they start to glaze-over, or look over my shoulder for someone else to acknowledge, or make an excuse to leave. It’s all so superficial it’s not worth the effort. Like you, my pet chiweenie (dachshund/chihuahua from the shelter ) is everything to me and I can’t begin to think on him passing away. I live in Bend, Oregon and have had both hips replaced so it gets hard to use my snowblower if needed in the winter and the lawn is slowly dying since it’s such a chore to maintain it and the lawn services are outrageously expensive to hire for it. If you care to email me, let me know (not sure how people post their contact info on here without it becoming public for all to see) ???

      Jean

      Reply to Jean

      1. Jean

        Our lives sound very similar, I tend to be the “therapist” to acquaintances, but if I have something I want to talk about, there is either no response or they change the subject back to them. My dog Bella is my saving grace! I have also had both of my hips replaced. Before my first hip was replaced (once I found the right doctor) I went four years in constant pain, leaving me with muscle degeneration in my legs. So, now, I’m thankful that the pain is gone, and I can walk, but I can’t walk for very long without having to sit for at least a few minutes. I’ve had to hire out for lawn care and snow removal. I can’t get on the ground so I now plant flowers in containers just to get my hands in the dirt! I’m still working but plan on retiring after this next year. I have put a deposit down at a retirement facility, I’ll probably move there sometime after retirement, just to have people around. I don’t have any children and very few family members that don’t live close.

      2. Hi Lori,

        I would love to be your pen pal. I’m 55 and my 90 yr old father lives with me, so between working full time, taking care of a 5 bedroom house and my dad I’ve had to give up having a life of my own. I have two cat’s that I’m thankful for because I work in the yard every day after work and even though they’re inside cats I’ve trained them to stay in my yard while I’m doing yard work. They absolutely love being outside with me.

        I’m so glad that you had the courage to tell your story because it helped me and I’m sure many others to realize that they’re not the only ones out there that are lonely and just need a friend to care about them. Lori, I care about you and I would love to be your friend. :)

        ~Tricia

    7. Hi Lori, I am not a senior (47) but my story is of yours. Never married, no children, no friends and my (1) unconditional friend my cat, Joey was poisoned at the age of 14 by my Narcissistic ex-boyfriend, 3 years ago. I miss him everyday and just until recently have I been able to even look at his picture with out crying. As I have every reason to distrust humans now; I still choose to see that not all people are bad. You seem like a very kind and good person. I felt compelled to reach out to you and tell you that.

      Reply to April

      1. Hi I am 74 years young . Lost my wife to breast cancer long ago . I am living alone but I never feel lonely . I have magic recipes fr bearing loneliness and depression !! The mind can work miracles . I am a happy solo traveller . Been to 60 countries already and now getting ready fr the next one .

      2. That is awesome Clement! I haven’t traveled the world but I am obsessed with these backpackers…trekkers I think you call them. I live vicariously through them I guess you would say. But um…yeah, that sucks so last Thursday I told my kids and my mom that I was leaving to go on a little trip by myself. They were like whaaa? That is because I am always just sitting here, like a rock the way I always have for 23 years. My husband passed away suddenly two and a half years ago and I’m not going to lie…it totally sucks sometimes. I started looking around about two weeks ago and noticed ok, my son is not coming back from the dorm next summer because he got an apartment and my youngest daughter finally got her own place with her 3 kids so she won’t be moving back here either. My oldest two won’t be moving in either so here I am in a 4 bedroom 2 bath mobile home for the last 23 years with my two aging dogs. I asked my family to come and check on the dogs while I left. I didn’t really go far…only from the DFW area to Corpus Christie and while down there an evening trip to Port Aransas. Thing is…it was very spontaneous. When I left I had no clue which highway I was getting on or which state I was heading to…I guess I chose Chisholm Trail. When I drove into Corpus I literally landed the very last room in this really cool motel right on the beach…how did that even happen? It was the cheapest too! I stayed three nights and it was just right…then I headed back. I have had a rough time this month because it included a grief trigger. August 8 would have been my husband’s 54th birthday, so yeah…there was that. I read a man’s comment above that he kept the ashes of his late wife in the home to discourage him from bringing another woman in the home. I have felt that way too because I keep my late husband’s ashes on the bookshelf. It sometimes feels quite invasive but other times not so much. I am 57 years old and the word dating hasn’t even come to mind…do they do that? It is so true that when we lose a spouse that love doesn’t just stop. We stop. The world keeps spinning and we are stuck dead in our tracks or so it seems until things start to get a little better. I have a feeling by the anniversary of year three things will start looking up, or so I hope. I have a shit ton of health issues and take a lot of meds :/ and I have to now take care of all house repairs, water leaks, mowing the lawn, taking care of the dog pads…but I do other things also that help me to feel young. Shoot, I play Minecraft and Terraria. My grandkids think I’m cool because I literally ran a Minecraft Server for young kids for 6 years. It’s still open but I sold it to a younger kid. Another thing I do every single day is read the news or general articles or watch youtube videos. I absolutely have a yearning to learn. I was getting gray on top so I bought hair dye and got me some new hoop earrings..who knows maybe I’ll even put my makeup on again really soon :) When there is breath, there is life my peeps…don’t you forget that…hang in there and Godspeed on your journey to find your inner peace. P.S. I have never really kept friends all throughout my life maybe because I didn’t know how…I wasn’t a good friend, it was always the other person that was the friend, I know I suck. I guess in a way I am kinda a loner and I am supposing that is a good thing right about now in this part of my life. Oh I binge watch shows and heck, I even watch anime with my son…or I used to before he turned 20 and got too old :)) Oh and I love rock and rock…the old stuff, the new stuff and everything in between. I love dubstep and showgazing and dream pop music too……I guess now you understand when I looked at my local rec center for senior activities and it said walk and talk and devotional singing….I took a pass lol…it is kinda disconcerting really because I know I don’t fit in for my age…maybe it’s genetic, my mother is gonna be 77 next month and sometimes she behaves like she’s 25, haha…Anyway, I really wish yall the best…

    8. I’m not sure who I’m writing. I read your message and I really like what you wrote. So much like myself. I would like you to be my friend. If you reply I will tell you more about myself.
      Thank you Cheryl, Hope to here from you.It would be wonderful to have someone to write that understands my lonelyness. Bye for now.

      Reply to Cheryl Goodrich

      1. Hello Robert I found you on this website you sound like a wonderful person my name is Kathy would love to have a penpal somebody to chat with I’ve been divorced for a year my husband moved on with another woman I don’t feel bitter as long as he’s happy that’s good enough for me some days I feel very lonely wish I had someone to talk to I do have children but they seem to be very busy and I don’t like to put a lot of pressure on their busy lives if you would like to have a penpal I would enjoy chatting with you

    11. I’m sad to think what your going through . I honestly can not come too terms their are people with no one . Yes no fam , no kids , but not a sole to call a friend . I don’t know where you are but I’d be their for you . But saying that you may cast me aside , as I’m a transsexual old lady , but I’ve a heart & feelings . Yes I’m lonely but not a monster .

      Reply to Paula Hayes

    12. Hi Lori,

      I am a 64 year young lady who lives alone. I have been divorced for 20 years and enjoyed being alone. Then my parents got sick and I spent the last 8 yrs taking care of them until they passed. Now, I am missing the company. My two dearest friends passed away a couple years ago. We had all these plans to go places and do things together once we were retired. I retired in 2018, so immediately signed up for classes at the senior center to keep busy. Evening and nights are still tough. I find it hard to do things solo, but my goal is to get over it. I hope you do try yoga. It helps me so much. I went to a seminar about PRP and stem cell injections for the knees. People raving about the results as an alternative to replacement. I hope you get a cat. Animals are a lot of company. I live in a complex that doesn’t allow pets. If you ever want a pen pal or a shoulder… I am here! CJ Portland Oregon

      Reply to Crystal

    13. Im in a relationship…but he had a brain bleed. A couple of years ago.. He is not the same !!! Its like I am by myself !!! And i have a brother and sister-in..and 1 nephew he is married.. To a uncaring person. They all live far from me now. So I am alone…my mom and dad are gone… Miss them terrible !!! It seems my life is SO lonely.

      Reply to Michelle

    14. Hi Lori, I will be an email friend! I hope you get another kitty. I have two dogs. My 15 year old dog died last year and almost killed me, so I got a puppy again right away and it helped alot, even though he is soooo much work!! I am 58, widow, had a stroke last year but still am functional and work full time as a paralegal. That helps me not get depressed. I live alone but don’t really mind it, though sometimes on Sunday I get a little lonely. My animals help. I wish you well. Take care.

      Reply to Suzy

  38. Hope everybody had a nice day My name is Susan I am 67 in NC I adopted 2 cats 4 years ago. My boy died less than a month ago, if not for my girl I do not know what i would do. I have one best friend who is now in Florida. I am from New York City originally. I just want a friend I was thinking of a room i turned into a computer room back to a bedroom and look for somebody to share it with. Golden Girls 2 where are you lol. I spend a lot of time on facebook. Just found this blog tonight

    Susan

    Reply to Susan Brown

    2. Hello Susan,
      So, so sorry for your loss. Quite a void. Laid my 16y old chihuahua to rest 1/2018 and not completely over the loss. A family member he was and boy, do the years go by f-a-s-t!!!
      Was medical for years, like y-e-a-r-sss and how I enjoy the peace and quiet that retirement brings. Adopted a senior chihuahua, age 10y and have had him since 1/2019. A house is not a home unless a pet resides in it. My philosophy !.
      In short, may sound funny, but I was an only child and now age 69y. Grew up with older parents and their older circle. i am alone but not lonely, the day is so, so short. From early morning, preparing for the day, walking my darling pet, walking club, gardening club, reading-news of the world and so on. I have a small circle of friends, we gather X1 week, they are all seniors with their own situations and so it goes. How I see it……..One can be as alone OR lonely as one wants to be. All how one VIEWS their situation. By taking an active interest around me, I have no time for loneliness…Just my input and I wish you well…
      Whiterock, BC

      Reply to Kristina

      1. I live in Northeast Georgia. I have one female furry friend inside. And when were baby on the outside. It gets lonely I am 66 years old. And although I have a daughter and two grandchildren and a son-in-law that lives not very far away that you’re always busy. I would also like to chat.I think of so many things I would like to talk about two people but just have to hold it in.

      2. Oh my. I have been alone since 1987. zip for family and I am older than you are . Last thing I want is a man around!
        Best friends died a year apart.

    3. Hi Susan! Sorry for your loss; it sounds like a good idea for revamping a spare room., but Id stick with local thru a church perhaps. Just be careful. I moved to Florida from Long Island NY years ago, just quit f/t job, have typical aches & pains., If you want to rsvp me, Im in same pattern as you but 69. Eileen

      Reply to Eileen

      1. Hi Susan! Sorry for your loss; it sounds like a good idea for revamping a spare room., but Id stick with local thru a church perhaps. Just be careful. I moved to Florida from Long Island NY years

    4. Hi Susan,
      I’m live near Charlotte. I am alone as well. I honestly don’t mind living alone. I just need to find some friends. I’m from Massachusetts. I have lived here for 3 years and I haven’t found any meaningful friendships. I can easily talk to people at the park and they sit and talk to me but nothing ever comes of it. I never run into them again. There are women my age where I live but they never seem to want to do anything but talk about others. I’m just not into that. I would love to meet a few friends I can get together with and becomes close friends to do things with. I’ve joined a few groups but they mostly go out at night and I don’t drive at night where I don’t know where I’m going. My eyes are just not what they use to be. I love to go out to eat lunch, go to the movies, go to festivals or just about anything. Everything is fun when you have someone to share things with. Please let me know where you are in NC. Perhaps we can meet and get to know each other. Good luck meeting others

      Kristina

      Reply to Kristina

      1. Hi Susan…Where in MA are you. I’m in CT east of Hartford. Good movies coming up. Maybe we could meet halfway. I’m a retired social worker…78 1/2…single for 40 years .

        Joyce

      2. Dear Kristina,
        You sound SOOOO much like me! I am friendly and often chat with others but I seldom see them again. In senior housing they do nothing but complain about others in the building and, when I don’t take sides, I become the target of harassment. I feel like I am in grade school, lol. I hope to find friends outside my housing. I still want to see and try new things. I am a “daytime” person and prefer to be home after dark.
        It is definitely more fun with a friend. I went to see the Thunderbirds alone but to not have someone to share the excitement with, it wasn’t the same.
        I hope you find a friend, Kristina, and all others in search of friendships as well.

        Hugs from VT

      3. Hello I just found this group. I am 73, my husband died in December and although I have sons and grandchildren they hardly ever come to see me. I live in a studio apt. next to my sister who is younger than me and has her own life. I am OK during the day but at night I feel so lonely, miss my husband and my 2 very good friends are sick with cancer. I have other friends but they are younger, still working and married. I find myself feeling sick because I feel old and isolated and lack the motivation to go out by myself and do anything.
        I live in Miami Florida and I have not found a group near me to meet sometimes or go to lunch with, people are too busy or they have their family life and their own friends.
        Anyway, I wish you all a good night and if you want to write to me I will like that.
        I was told by a friend to join a dating app for seniors,but I do not feel ready to go on dates, I just want some company someone to share going to the beach or having dinner together, so hard to find people that share the same interests.

      5. Hello I just found this group. I am 73, my husband died in December and although I have sons and grandchildren they hardly ever come to see me. I live in a studio apt. next to my sister who is younger than me and has her own life. I am OK during the day but at

      6. I Live in nmb with family my daughter son in law 3 grand children. Who are grown up. I use a walker and can’t drive. At moment I have old car I dealing with health problems My family works Or go to college. I have no friends living in nmb area. I’m very lonley for friend ship.

    5. Hi Susan,
      I, too, live in North Carolina. I’m wondering if it’s Charlotte or Raleigh area. I am in the Charlotte area. I became an empty nester at the precise time as my long and painful and drawn out divorce ensued.

      And, yes, I’m very lonely. I lived alone for three years and the loneliness became in bearable. I recently moved back to my hometown and my two daughters live close by. It is better that I move back home and I’m not as lonely as I was. Before it was all crushing because I lived in Florida with absolutely no relatives in town. This is a better situation but I’m still very lonely. And not necessarily for a husband though that would be nice too.

      Feel free to contact me. I’d love some new friends.

      Reply to Robyn

      1. Hi I’m in Texas. Have one daughter and an older sister. I work but have literally no friends anymore. Used to in my younger days but I guess took the friendships for granted and lost them. By the time I woke up and tried to reconnect, it was too late. I long for the intimacy of a good friendship. Someone to talk to on a deep level. Someone to laugh spontaneously with. I’ve tried a few “dating” sites with no intention of really dating. Just looking for a real friend. Not a great experience

      2. Hi Peony,

        I saw your post. I too, am alone. I moved to Texas to stay warm. I have a 4 bedroom, 3 bath townhome because I wanted to start a Golden Girls 2 thing. But haven’t been able to find anyone who is looking for that. Everyone either has a family or a house and doesn’t want to move. It is a beautiful luxury community, but people just drive into their garages and don’t come out until they need to go somewhere. I really hate the loneliness sometimes!
        I can still go places but just can’t find anyone wanting to be a Golden Girl. If there is anyone out there interested, please reply. I saw that you are in Texas. If anyone is planning a trip to the Dallas area and needs a place to stay, reply. You will be more than welcome! Also if anyone just wants someone to talk to, maybe we could exchange phone numbers. I’m not real fast on the keyboard and takes so darn long to write a darn post!

    6. Hi Susan : just felt the need to respond as some one who truly relates to lonely. I have family and thank my god every day for the blessings that brings; nonetheless, they have busy lives and I don’t want to be a burden to them or make them feel they have to be concerned. Looking for a group to get together or establish similar likes to do things with (let’s face it everything is more fun with someone or s group!). Tho I’m in Maryland one of me daughters is in nc ( married a NC fella) so I get down there often. Maybe we can put our heads together and start a group of like people to just go to the movies or shopping or whatever? A list of folks you can turn to fir support to hang out or just talk to for some people. Today’s lifestyle of mobile has made past relationships be scattered and threadbare…not as in days past where people stayed more in one place. If you need someone to just chat or if interested in firming s group of some sort since I’m just now throwing this idea out there let me know. If anyone knows of groups such as this fill us in! Still work but that still leaves time to play if not too expensive lol! Cards and games and hikes are FREE! Ginger

      Reply to Ginger

      1. Elaine,
        I am in Texas also, and like everyone else here I am looking to make friends and alleviate some of the loneliness…where about in Texas are you? I am living and working in Arlington right now but looking for work in the North Dallas area so I can move back there because it is an hour away.

      2. Hi Elaine and Tina-Marie,

        I live in the North Dallas area also. It would be great if some of us could connect and play cards, go out to dinner or just explore. I drive and could even pick someone up.
        I’m 63 and already retired with a lot of time on my hands and nobody around that really wants to do anything’. Mostly all the people I have met have families, etc.
        Email or reply if anyone is interested! I am female, as well.

        Thanks for reading and God Bless Everyone!

  39. I am a 70yr old man looking for a pen pal or someone to tex or talk to on the phone. I don’t drive sence a couple of mounted ago I todaled my car do to curcomstances I can’t get into know. I live with my daughter and. son-inlaw I can get around pretty good. My hobbies is working with wood tree ornaments, funeture and small things out of wood. . I like to travel but l don’t drive. I am religesous but not a fanatic. I love my grandchildren and great grandchildren. I hope I hear something it gets lonely around this house during the day by my self.

    Reply to Dwight Ries

      1. Hi I am 67 years of age and although married it is non communicative and deeply lonely, I crave for the friendship of a lady in a similar state, purely for friendship, and social .
        I enjoy cycling and walking and am very active,,

      2. Gordon,
        I am 65 years old and maybe in a similar situation. I am not deeply lonely or craving female friendship, but do have a non communicative and lonely marriage of over 20 years. Yesterday I biked 35 miles and today I am getting ready to run five miles.

        I wonder how you are doing with your search? I am interested in talking to men about working to improve our enjoyment of life. So, maybe we can help each other. I might have some decent feedback about your efforts. And you might suggest where I look to find all the old men who are still making the effort to do new things.

        My wife and I live like college room mates that are sick of each other and can’t get out of their one year lease.

      3. Looking for a pen pal for my 65 year old grandma. She’s disabled, doesn’t drive, and is lonely. Ideally, she would love to speak to someone who is also Christian as religion is very important to her and maybe knows how to use FaceTime so you can chat face to face.

      4. I am 67 years Old from Canada. Get your grandma to reach me via my email
        I need a lady pen pal to lessen the loneliness that aging brings.

      5. Ii am 66 years recovering from the loss of my 45 year old son 2 years ago. My only daughter lives out of state. I used to live with her and her children. I miss that. My life partner of 30 years also lives out of state. He is younger than me and no longer interested in a relationship because, due to serious health issues, I can no longer be physically intimate. I miss the closeness of someone special. I miss my fAmily. I have one friend who is married. We meet for coffee every morning, but after 2 years I don’t feel any closer to her than when we first met. I try to keep busy, I have many hobbies and interests, but I cannot travel far because of my health. I’m not very active and I am very lonely. I love my Chiweeny, but he’s not a male companion in the normal since. I hope I’m needed by someone out there.

      6. Gordon I don’t mind talking. My husband died of cancer. Very fit women slim and look young for my age (as everyone says). I really need to talk

      9. Hello Dianne. Just curious of what you decided to do as I myself am in similar situation, no family wanting to move. Not sure where to . Being alone and lonely are two different things, for sure. Take care

      10. Hello Dianne , And to all who are feeeling lonely as I. I have been on my own mostly all my life , only child, family died young. After Ex abused me I moved to the south, Georgia to be exact, I’m from Massachusetts, so the south is not my cup of tea as they say. Hard to make any friends most everyone married, and in their own world. I keep busy , right now trying to find a place to move to , as it’s so very hard on your own to live on one income, and I’d like to be north of here. There are no friends to be had in this town. I do work part time at home from computer, and work with animals but still I am lonely , no one to talk to although I do talk to God, hoping he will show me the way. Where to go , what my purpose is. It’s hard when you don’t have a soul to talk over things with.I am not feeling sorry for myself as others have it much worse I have 2 arms 2 legs am 62 and I feel lost. I try to find a way to help others everyday even though I may not have much, trying to follow God’s road, to lead me to mine. Anyway, if anyone wants to talk I am here . Take care everyone.

      13. I used to feel the same! Happily divorced for many years and love being single but did not like living alone per say so i opted for a roommate and love it!!!

      14. I am a woman looking for a companion been widowed since 1982. I was left with four children who are grown up. Am very lonely need someone to talk and be with till death do us part. Am a church goer.

    2. Hi my name is Di. I am severe arthritis and do not leave the house much. I carve in wood and make my own things also. Last thing I made was a sculptured dragon……wingspan 3 feet ….everyone says it looks like it came from the HBO show. I am good but super slow due to arthritis in my hands. I sell my work whenever I can. I live in Hawaii and do not travel due to back issues. I live alone, so always fixing broken things. I get lonely also….it is hard not having someone to discuss things with….as most people have no idea what it is like to be alone. My friends are all dead, died young….so I miss the support. Family and friend in the mainland are too busy to even talk. Get to see children and grandchildren but they are also so busy with sports and life….it is rare to see to them. My hobbies are all kinds of art, exotic garden design, pet cats…reading books….plus a few other things. I am 63.

      Reply to Di Morrow

      1. I am75 and really lonely I substitute in schools I tutor in the afternoon I have my grandson and a great great granddaughter close by my children but I’m still lonely and miss the communication of a man in my life I would like to find someone who just wants to talk and share things someone who is this lonely as I am for adult conversation and also to share daily things with I love to share things about my grandchildren and my great grandchildren and my children I’m as active as you can be but I still miss you so much this one on one communication with another adult I’m a normal human being a normal woman who just likes the simple things in life

      2. I’m Barry, This 21st. of June I turn 75. As yourself, I am handicapped to the degree I can walk only short distances, and typing goes slowly for myself as well. I paint. Watercolor,pastel, ink etc. May we speak further?

      3. Di,
        Wow – I am 63, have severe arthritis; live alone with my 2 yr old Zoe. (Female puppy). My favorite thing in the world is to keep my hands in the dirt. I plant and maintain as many plants as I can take care of. I love to watch them bloom, see them grow. I love cactus and succulents as well. Gardening and being in the yard is the best medicine for me. I stay home most of the time because of the arthritis but, I would love to learn to sculpture, paint furniture , make jewelry – so many things that you could enjoy doing at home.
        I have never thought about carving. That is such a great way to display your artful abilities.
        With all of the things that I want to do and learn to do I am in pain quite often from my the arthritis in my knees. There are times when it does get bad, but I just try to take good care of myself and carry on.
        Well. Maybe we can become pen pals. I am very lonely and halved alone for 5 yrs now. I did not expect my Phase Iii life to be like it has been so far, but I really want to improve the quality of it.

        Kathy Turner

      2. Hi Chris,
        My name is Kristina I live near Charlotte, Are you interested in friends who are female? If so perhaps we can get to know each other. I just turned 68,

        Kristina

    4. It does for some. For many. I used to work with the elderly, and now I’m one. Never thought I’d be one who is so discounted for intelligence and wisdom merely because of my age. Now I’m like a ghost, a nice old lady that ceases to exist once out of sight….in businesses, by politicians, or in church. We are not all the same, and I find nothing stimulating or satisfying about being at a senior citizen gathering of people I have nothing in common with except that we are all old. I do not want to sit and talk about aches and pains and the past, cards and board games bore me. My only intellectual stimulation is online research about a lot of topics, and social media where I get into deep discussions on my Christian faith, politics, important world events. Of course, I don’t list my age, because then I’m more likely to be less sought after for discourse. If the president of the United States can be so productive, intelligent, energetic, at 72, why do people assume the rest of us aren’t?

      Reply to Ginger

      1. 5;28 am. Yhats says a lot right there. I stay up late and i have to force myself to start winding down from whatever im into at abot 3 am. Usually cant though. I compose or arrange music and send it to an agency looking for background or film music. It keeps me busy, bur some days im just not into it.
        Ive got things to say too and im not amused at age descrimination ven though I have done it myself
        Getting sick of the lies and false politics and illogical thinking in politics. Seems like pople want to talk about the same irrelevant crap every day. Theres things going on in the world too that we just plain dont hear about anymore.
        Seems like only adversity makes people think outside themselves.
        Do i sound negative? I am and I mean it!
        .

      2. I understand. I am only 69 but find most my age whine about aches and pains and “what am I going to do” topics. It can be quite distressing. Been divorced for over 25 years and live alone and keep active by volunteering with people that are as active as I am.

      3. Good morning Ginger,
        Found this post by accident. Don’t know if you are interested in e-mailing back and forth. Yes, my interests are so all over the planet. They never stay the same and my drive and curiosity never cease.
        Would love to hear from you.
        Respectfully, Regine

    5. I’m 78 and live alone in Portugal. Originally I’m from the UK but moved to Portugal 12 years ago.
      I have two daughters, 5 grandchildren and 3 Great Grandchildren.
      Would you like to chat with me?

      Reply to Eric Dixon

    6. I am shocked at how many people on this site are lonely and sound like reasonable people. Maybe everyone should find some way to contribute to society and stop worrying about being “alone” and lonely. Volunteer at some task you are actually interested in and everything will work out. I was in the library recently and met a man who was shelving the books that had been returned that day. I started the conversation and he told me that he was a widower who had no intention of sitting around at home feeling sorry for himself. I asked what else he did with his spare time. He volunteered at the local school to help those whose language was not English. He helped kids learn and he told me he thought they were hopeful for their American futures. I started the conversation. If I had not I would never have found out what this man was doing. Maybe that’s the answer. Get out of yourself and see who is out there, what he/she is doing with this precious gift of life and try to connect with those who share your interests. If you have no interests, it’s time to discover some.
      I am a 79 year old woman who has been a widow for almost five years. The only time I have ever felt lonely was when I was in second grade and my father died in front of my sister and me of a ruptured brain aneurysm. I. have more interests than I can actively manage. If that is the key to not being lonely, it is also an answer for many. of you who feel so alone. It is so important to get out of yourself. Surely, someone can benefit from what you have experienced and learned in your long life.

      Reply to Mary Kennedy

      1. I applaud you! I will be 77 on Feb 3rd, 2020. It appears as though you have figured out how to conquer the pitfalls of age! WAY TO GO, GIRL!! I send you best wishes and may all your dreams be lovely and positive. With much love and hope for your future, I send all good vibes for your future.

    7. Oi am 75 and not needed. Spent life raising four on my own then dads ca then bro emphysema then mom passed. I have never not needed to do or be somewhere. I am lost. My adult kids ass ume a lot due to the n u m b e r of my age. I live alone, bus everywhere. Am an introvert which no one believes….I am today lost. Need to lose weight, exercise, walk….but my butt is glue and days fly by. Oh it’s Friday again. I live in a 62 plus community have been around it since 1998 when I moved muy mother in….everyday with 200 apts 62 plus someone else fails one way or another…I fear new close friends and the loss. I am very blessed to be capable and basically healthy and ashamed I just sit. Which is more weight. Need a life!

      Reply to Louise

    10. I just had a senior moment,I pushed the wrong button and wiped everything I had texted out. For those seasoned saints,age cannot be the variable to believing life is over. We love and we commit and we pray our future blossoms. When something changes,the commitment you entered didn’t stop and people fall out of bed,chairs and trucks not love. Marriage is sacred. If you have no idea why you have stopped being in love,check whether you ever really were committed.
      Each note I read was filled with much just living to know your value,if anyone cares,if you matter. We,at our age need to be the examples for the younger generation of those who think only about themselves. I’m certain none of us were born with a silver spoon,so life has no obligation to provide anything but the raw materials for us to decide we no longer will sit friendless,instead with the pain you’ve suffered,life experience you’ve lived…become someone’s hero. You do crafts,begin doing anything for a charity for children’s hospital,find a library read or mentor those who can’t read. Just because it seems as though the world could care less,shake off the lethargy and become someone’s hero. If you don’t think I speak truth ,take a look around. How many people do you see homeless,younger than you. There’s so much you can do besides focusing on what you don’t have…learn gratitude…learn whether you love or simply lust? Love commits lust leaves when the thrill is gone. We are filled with wonderful untapped potential to share,don’t withhold information from the younger generations that can’t seem to understand what it means to be consistent & considerate. If you are not an example,how will those who need to know learn? Living out your core values shows people that you truly are real,what you say is important and when your actions show what is in your heart words become unnecessary.

      Reply to Linda Harrelson

    11. Hi Dwight my name is Kathy I understand it when you say that it’s awful lonely around your house during the day I to live with my son and his two children since his wife left him but I still feel very lonely they all have very full lives would you like a penpal I would love to chat with you

      Reply to Cathy

  40. I am retired, in my 70’s, healthy and active but feeling very much alone in my senior years. Love to be around people but find lots of phoniness these days like older people, especially, seem unwilling or unable to just be who they are, warts and all. It took some work but I now like myself well enough (don’t think I’m flawless but like who I am). Got myself stranded out west (Ca.) having moved around some (my home town is Philly, Pa.), married and divorced in Ca., but am resigned to staying here now. My daughter is here so love to be nearby.

    I would love to hear from someone who also feels lonely and who has little or no family to enjoy holidays, etc. with. Holidays are the most painful for me as I love family stuff but have had very little of family closeness. My daughter is fine (we like each other) but she and I don’t have many interests in common. I don’t get to see my best friend anymore as she lives in Florida. The phone is my main source of communication with a few relatives and friends (east coast mostly) and though I do mix with people at church, Bible studies, and art “clubs” (H.B. Art Foundation), I have no local significant friend (to just go for coffee, lunch, shop, talk, encourage each other, for instance) so feel pretty unspecial to anyone in Ca.

    I love animals (especially horses – I am an equine artist), the out-of-doors (especially camping), just plain “hanging out”, games, Vegas, and people in general. If there is anyone who would like to do e-mail, write letters, or phone calls (maybe later), please answer this blog.

    Reply to Claire Owens

    1. Hi Claire, I am in my 70’s as well & have a horse ( had 2 for many years , had to put her down @ 35 yrs of age ). I have a small farm here in NC . I am very active as well, always a social person but since I have retired feeling lonely & you are so right in saying how hard it is to meet quality people. Accidentally stumbled across this website ( not lookin for such ) & saw your blog. My home state is NJ ( on the shore )… not having any success in sending you this message !

      Reply to Molly

      1. Hi Molly – I hope I am doing this right and you are getting my reply to your message to me. I don’t get on the computer every day, sometimes 1 – 2 weeks, hence, this pokey answer. How fortunate that you have a horse – I am a lifetime horse-lover but being a city girl, never had one of my own. I did, happily, get to help train two thoroughbreds in Va. with my horsewoman friend (she taught ME along with the horses). Loved it.

        How do you spend your days? With a ranch, I assume you might have other animals besides your horse. I love all animals, have always had more than one pet (mostly cats) but put my last cat down last year (cried a lot for awhile and still miss her). Now it’s really quiet at home but likely won’t get any more. Do you have family nearby? Kids? I just hope this gets to you – I am not very proficient on the computer.

      2. Hi Molly – thought I sent you an answer but will try again. (my capital letter button does not always work correctly) and I am not always sure my messages go through either. I’m retired, too, and have volunteered (helped out at three horse rescue stables and loved every minute). was glad to see you have a horse. sorry about your one horse being put down – I hate it when I lose an animal friend. they can be your best friends sometimes. (I just put down my last cat after years of cats (always more than one – up to four) I am from Philly and spent many weekends on the Jersey shore (barnegat Light for one). Love the Jersey shore.

        I am kind of stuck out here (Ca.) – long, boring story – been here since about ’68. was married here, divorced, with one child, a daughter who lives about 6 miles from me. she is lonely herself, sometimes, as she is also divorced with no kids. I do live alone and don’t mind so much but love to be around people, too. I make myself at least have some acquaintances but most don’t seem to have any interest in making new friends. a lot of people here (espec. older people) seem to have their support systems of family and friends set up and really don’t need or want to make an effort to include anyone else tho’ on the surface they are nice enough.

        I hope you don’t think I abandoned you and that you will write back. It’s a shame people don’t write letters anymore as it was always a good feeling to hear from people thru the mail. tell me about yourself – N.J., your farm, family, if any, what you like to do, etc., especially your horses. I am an equine artist and love to produce a beautiful horse on canvas. claire

      3. Hi Claire ! I wrote you an informative blog but as I sent it my power went off & lost it . Crazy thing to happen …. this was today ( maybe did go thru, just don’t see it ) I’ll wait to see if indeed it went thru, if not I’ll sent you another one ! SORRY for the delay ( explained in my blog ) hope this finds you ! regards, Molly

      4. Hello Claire ! I just saw my message on your blog ( they have gotten faster on getting messages thru ) ☺️ That’s a good thing ! Before it took several days. Oh well, I want to thank you for being so persistent in your efforts to get a message to me .. I had checked for a response several times then just got busy here on my property ( growing season started a little early this spring ) today checked & saw your messages to me. It’s a small world, I was married in philly ( many moons ago ) the good thing was my son from that marriage however the marriage didn’t go the distance. I love where I’m from just can’t afford property there ( prices & taxes ) crazy. My sister lives in cape May & loves it . Really enjoy the seaside towns ( great memories ). I have lived on this property close to 18 yrs. brought with me 2 horses a dog & a cat ( which 1 horse is still with me ) 32 year old Arabian ( still beautiful as ever & spunky ). While on this property I have adopted 3 dogs & 3 cats. Still with me my dog of 6yrs old & my cat of 17 yrs old. Precious are both ! I’m at peace with the passing of each one ( they had great lives here on the farm. You have a talent I always wish I had, your an artist ( has to be wonderful & fulfilling ). You had mentioned writing letters, yes it’s a lost art ( always nice to get the mail with a HANDWRITTEN letter waiting to be read ). I can’t complain I have a good life but does sometimes get lonely ( even tho I keep pretty busy ). My knowledge on the computer is not the best, my go to guy is my grandson almost 9 yrs old . My son & his family live minutes away ( but have such busy lives ) . Today life is more complicated for young families then when I was raising my son. I’m jumping around with my message, trying to answer your questions & tell you a little about myself. This morning I had written a message that was in order but it didn’t go thru. I apoligze if this message is hard to follow. I’m going to say goodnight now & hope to hear from you !

      5. I am new to this site. I am responding to Molly from NC .IBefore I write more, let me know where this note will end and to whom. Thanks. Faye

    2. Claire,

      I can relate to Holidays. I have no family. The friends I do have are all male, I worked in a male dominated industry. They are married, so I cannot call them up and ask them to a movie or to go somewhere for a long weekend.

      I have done all I can think of to move forward, although this is not positive,it is truth….” each day is simply a duplication fro the one before.” I remember joy, happiness, friends. For me it is not worth existing, all people need to live, have life. We all need a sense of community, purpose and feel we our loved, cared about. I have none of this. I go out everyday, I volunteer, but it is not fulfilling. I do wonder if I will be here tomorrow. I do not mind being alone, I mind the lonliness.

      Please write back if you feel like it. I wish you well.

      Karen

      Reply to Karen

      1. Hi Karen – It was good to hear from you. You and I seem to have a lot in common. I think of myself as very normal with normal human yearnings as in love and respect from others – family and friends, especially. without it (my capital letter button does not always work) life can be pretty dull even though you love some things about it (horses, for one for me). I was raised in a pretty normal family, a middle child – only girl of three kids and I understand my dad really wanted a girl when I was born (they had a family party for me at birth) but, for some reason, both parents (espec. my mom) never really “talked” to me (no interest in my grades at school, no compliments, encouragement, didn’t teach me how to do anything, for instance – they just didn’t talk to me other than rudimentary small talk). I won’t bore you with much else here, but emotionally, I was starving. Other relatives the same; it’s like I really didn’t have a family at all. some lady above said why do parents want and have children if they don’t want to nourish them and care for them. I asked that very question many times.

        I got kind of stuck out here; california (long boring story) – I do have one child – a daughter who lives six miles away. she is also somewhat alone (she has some friends having been raised here but is currently divorced with no kids. I love her but we have little to no interests in common.

        I’d love to hear more about your own life. I hope you will write back again. If you just wanna write for a while, that’s fine. I’m a little on the shy side, at least at first. I do understand your loneliness quite well, Karen, and I hope you will write back when you get a chance. i hope you will tell me more about yourself, your past, home town, interests. claire

      2. Dear Karen,

        I am 65 year old man interested in strengthening my mental health and helping others to find more interest in their lives. I am looking for groups on social media to participate in.

        I am married twenty plus years. We live together kind of like college room mates that are sick of each other and still have six months on our lease. I rode my bike 30 miles yesterday, and am getting ready after writing this to run five miles. In the Spring and Fall I have been section hiking alone on the Appalachian Trail. My hips and knees may not carry me to many more years at such activities.

        Where are older people on social media conversing about staying active, motivated, and helping each other with encouragement and understanding?

      4. Hi Karen
        I m married to an American soldier im originally from Germany . We moved around a lot but I’m still very lonely and feel isolated . I don’t fit in no matter what I do . I don’t have the same interest like my husband it makes life more complicated . What im trying to say is married life can be very lonesome and boring . I wish many times I would be alone but can only imagine what it would be like . Elisabeth

      5. Hi Daniel I am a 67 year old widow from California. My husband passed away about a year ago. Its not fun and I do volunteer. Would love someone to talk to we just need to be honest with one another and no games. Does that sound good? I just found this today I don’t know how long your post has been up if you already have alot of friends I will understand. Thank you for your time. Chris

      6. New here. I’m so relating to many of these stories, saddens me. I’m a 70 year old male, from NY. I have been in a eight relationship with who I thought was my dream lady. Unfortunately, I was blinded by the light. She has left me, obviously didn’t want to deal with my blood cancer diagnosis. I’m now alone, and getting treatment, Very hard and depressing. Prognosis is very good for remission, but some side effects. Every day a bit of challenge. I’ve always been active, long time runner, amongst other sports. Even with treatment I do power walking and some yoga. But still a tremendous void, which is sort of downward spiral. I try church helps somewhat. Not looking for a relationship necessarily, but if one came my way, I’d be ok. But friendship is paramount. Thanks to anyone who reads this

      8. Hey George,
        I am a woman, not much younger than you, living in NYC.
        I just accidentally came upon this website, so not sure how it works.

        Would be interested in corresponding through email,
        or by phone, with you. Interested in possible friendship if you are. I have interest in many things and enjoy meeting people.

        You are lucky in that, if you had to get cancer at all, you got a type that carries a good prognosis. Meeting new friends thru this website (including myself?) might be a welcome distraction for you. Hope to hear from you, Christine

  41. i am 60m and was born and live in Costa Rica. I have lots of friends, but, the more the merrier!!! I have twin grand-daughters and people often think they are my daughters!! Love working out and reading!

    Reply to Eli

    1. Hello Eli. I wish to move to Costa Rica although I’ve noticed housing prices increasing rapidly. The area around Tamarindo appeals to me and a place called Casa Verde has homes I can afford. I am a retired educator, international teacher, former Peace Corps Volunteer, author, and music afficionada. I speak Spanish fairly well. Would this area provide access to interesting activities and social life once we get out of Covid, especially for single seniors? Your thoughts?

      Reply to PENELOPE FOX

  42. Feminism has really destroyed many of us good single young men looking for a good woman to settle down with. And now unfortunately since so many of these women are very high maintenance, independent, very greedy, selfish, spoiled, picky, narcissists, feminists, and very money hungry, which certainly has a lot to do with it why so many of us men are still single today as i speak. The women today are really to blame for this mess since the great majority of the women back in the old days were certainly Real Ladies with very good manners and a good personality which they Don’t have today at all. And since i know friends that are having the very same problem today as well, which they really do feel as bad as me since we never ever expected to be single this long either. And now you have the women that have their Careers which they really think their God’s gift to men with their six figure salary which makes it even worse for many of us very serious men looking for love today. And i wish that i could have been born in the good old days which i definitely would have met a real very nice woman since even i myself would have been all settled down by now with my own good wife and family today as i speak, instead of still being single and all alone now which my friends that i know really agree with me as well. And being single and alone all the time can really be very unhealthy and depressing as well. Very obvious why married men live longer.

    Reply to HateBeingSingle33

    1. Hi, I’m a 64 year old woman and I completely agree with what you wrote here. Feminism has turned this country upside down! AND, it’s the MEN being blamed:/ There are those who want a genderless society, but both God and Science show male and female differences and it was supposed to be ‘good’! The sexes were supposed to compliment each other’s differences. Only women can bear children. Only women lactate and can nurse their babies. As a former teacher, I have seen what having no one at home to raise children has done to society. Other people are raising these children. No one will ever love another’s child like a parent . You didn’t ask for suggestions, but if you practice a religion, maybe a singles group? Although, religion doesn’t always guarantee a successful marriage there might be a chance for you to find a denomination where gender roles are encouraged and appreciated for what they were intended., to support and uphold one another and make strong family units. For those people who want to raise their children ‘gender free’ they obviously did NOT study Biology 101. Both women and men can bring their special and unique qualities to the marriage. My daughter is a stay at home mom and she frequently is met with hostility because of not having a ‘job’. The most important job on this planet is the raising of one’s children! I feel for you and hear your frustration. My prayers are with you. Persist and don’t give up hope!

      Reply to Patrica

      1. You are ill informed. My prayers are that you accept changes in the world and mind your own business about the choices of people different from you.

      3. Hi Patrica, i made this comment about two months ago which what i have said was the truth. Most women today have very high standards, and they will usually go with men that have a lot of money which makes them real gold diggers to begin with. And they just can’t accept many of us good single men for who we really are since it is all about money for these type of women unfortunately. Women are age are a real joke nowadays, and to think how very different that most women were back in the old days since they were the very complete opposite of today, and most women were real ladies as well at that time. Just saying good morning or hello to a woman that many of us single men would really like too meet has become so very dangerous for many of us men now, and we really have to be very careful of sexual harassment too. And there are times when these very pathetic women will even Curse at us for no reason at all. That is why many of us good single men are just doomed to be single and alone, and the way women have changed today which certainly explains why. It is a real good thing that most women back in the past weren’t like today at all, otherwise this world would’ve never progressed the way that it did over these years very thanks to them. Too bad God didn’t make women today like the past. Well thank you very much for your support. I will never give up. Peace.

      4. Melissa that’s a shame . I’m an amateur futurist and within the next 10 years or so tech may have much better mental health treatments as well as aging process reversal and many other solutions. Why do you think you will always be alone????????

    2. Hi dear, you are so young (just 33 years old), for such a pessimist vision. Look out there still many good girls, who’s isn’t money hungry, narcissist, spoiled, greedy, and many other adjectives you have pointed. Maybe you are looking on the wrong places. For sure if you open your heart and stop generalizing woman, will going to find a real nice girl, and you are going to see her as God send gift to you. Good luck!! Be happy no matter!!

      Reply to Laudemicia Almeida

      1. Being alone doesn’t mean a person is lonely, but I desperately am. I’m a senior over 65 no husband or friends. My children are grown and gone. I go days without speaking to people. When I wake up in the mornings sometimes this gloom hits me and I don’t think I can do another day like this. I do get out and go to the YMCA two or three times a week but it’s not enough. I so desperately need someone.

      2. Hi Mailia – I just typed a blog comment on this site and see that you are struggling with lonliness, too, in your senior years. This is Mar. 16 (2019) so if you want to contact me, there is a web site (e-mail address) for you to use. (foxrest7771@yahoo.com).

        Lonliness is a very painful place to be, especially as we age. Never thought it would be like this. Claire

      5. Hi Maili . I recently lost my Mother. I stayed with her a lot, but had to travel back to be with my husband. I understand your loneliness. Text me and let me know how your doing. Rosalie

      7. Patrica, Quite a change today in the women compared to the old days unfortunately. Most women were real ladies back then, and the very complete opposite of today since most of their parents did raise them very well back then. Thank you very much for your support.

  43. I’m 48 with 5 and 7 year old children. I’m lonely, have no friends, or husband. I’m simply waiting for my kids to get out of high school, then I’m checking out. I have no intention of living single, unwanted, and unloved.

    Reply to Melissa

    1. You know your name means honey in Greek. I think you’re minutes away from falling in love Mellisa. I really don’t think knocking off is a good idea. I mean, god granted life, and we shouldn’t give it away so easily. I think you’re blessed with children. I always wanted them, but was told I couldn’t make them when I was much younger. What ever poison the doctors and specialists put in my brain, I believed them until I didn’t. No one has allowed me the opportunity to prove them wrong. I’m 55 and if I met the right person, I would be happy to prove I am capable of children. But I don’t think the world is ready for the next christ (born of a man unable to produce). Wasn’t the first one from an immaculate mother. It would make sense to have one from the immaculate father.
      Anyways, don’t give up hope. Love is at your doorstep. Remember to hold onto it when it arrives.

      Reply to DJ

    2. Melissa that’s a shame . I’m an amateur futurist and within the next 10 years or so tech may have much better mental health treatments as well as aging process reversal and many other solutions. Why do you think you will always be alone????????

      Reply to Sherry

  44. Hi, I am a 64 year old male. All my kids live in different states. I am working a state different than where I grew up. I do have friends back home. But really none here where I currently live. Which is a small community. So all I do is go to work and go home to an empty place. Day in and day out. It’s getting really old. All my family and friends want me to move back home. I can not afford to live there. As the housing is so expensive. I do have a plan to pay off my vehicles. Then after that I plan on taking the deep sleep. I am that lonely and depressed. Never talked to anyone before about this. Just keeping it to myself. Just wanted to get it off my chest. Not looking for sympathy, help or anything. Just wanted to get what’s bothering me out. Thanks for listening. I’m not posting my real name.

    Reply to Steve

    1. Hi Steve
      I am from India. Are u shocked. I guess I know how u feel . Though I live surrounded by kids and grandkid’s I feel pretty lonely too. I was so busy taking care of my family , I forgot to make friends . Now I feel lonely and I too feel exactly like u . When it’s time to go , it’s time . Until then Steve live yr life to the best .

      Reply to Beela Joseph

      1. Hi I was widowed after 45 yrs of marriage . I met a guy 8 month after and fell in love with him . .We were together 4 yrs , he walked out on me and left me totally devastated. I also do not need sympathy . It feels better for me to post my feelings. I am trying to figure out how to cope.

    2. Hello, just want you to know that I read your post and also that I think I understand why you wrote it. While you make money to pay off your vehicles and before you plunge into the big sleep, is there someone you can help? Sometimes a smile or a kind word is enough and there are so many in desperate need of a friendly gesture. May your journey be eased and may you find what you need (even if it’s not what you want). M

      Reply to Mara

    3. Hi Eric:
      I am 74+ and have been in U K for three months and now am off to USA…. to FL!!! I’d love to chat with you!!! Long distance friendships are always great…. just remember we will be 6hours apart time wise!!!! Your 6pm will be my 12 pm….I hate being lonely…. so glad got this site by accident!!!
      Regards
      Mea

      Reply to Meenakshi Mallahan

    4. Hi Steve,

      Don’t know if you will see this since you posted a few months ago. Anyway, how fortunate are you that you have family who care enough about you to suggest you move back home. I only have a son and his wife. They found out that I gambled away most of my inheritance. I have never asked anyone for anything. They say I have been a burden. They want me to move out of state. My heart is broken. My son will help me, but things will never be the same. Please keep in touch with your family. You are blessed!

      Reply to Barb

    5. Hello Steve,

      I read your post and thought,”Gee, that sounds similar to me”. Then I read further about your “solution”. I hope you reconsider and I hope anyone reading this will also reconsider killing themselves.
      I have run up against those same thoughts several times in life. I could never have planned for the type of hurt that I have been subjected to living this life, things for sure have not turned out as planned. The one thing that has gotten me through the bad places is the thought that Tomorrow is always another day. Not the day I am living right now but another day.
      I am struck by how familiar most folks thoughts, feeling, experiences are to mine. We all stand here with an the understanding of our mortality and fragility of our situations. I will try to bear this in mind in the future and try not to be judgemental.
      Obviously I am lonely also but more so I feel foolish and at times regretful. All I ever wanted to be was a husband and a father. After early dissolution I got sober, got a good job, got a black belt, married a “good” woman and moved to another state to raise a family in a positive environment,(not the Bronx).
      Fast forward, I’m 65, divorced, (married the Devil), lost the house,{put her on deed, she repaid by forcing foreclosure,also stealing 150k}. Forced to move to keep my job. Youngest son just starting college. Move 7 times in 7 years. Retired. Now living in the country on 27a in the middle of nature but all by myself.
      You could say poor guy but I am still here. I am in charge of my life. As long as there is another day there is a new shot at life. During my divorce I thought about killing myself everyday for about 6mo. I’d wake up and look at my .45 and say “not today”. Why? Because it was a new day and God helps them that helps themselves. And as a Catholic I know suicide is a mortal sin. Of course I was good at sinning before I got sober but now I have something to uphold and that is who I have become.
      Life is for living and it is our responsibility to so that as best as we are able.

      0

      Reply to John T

    7. Hi Steve I’m Kathy I’m very sorry that you feel that lonely and depressed and I it scares me to think what you’re actually thinking of doing I would love to chat with you talk to you see how you’re doing I am also a single woman with grown children and I do feel very lonely some days but I would love to have a penpal if you would like to chat with me

      Reply to cathy

    1. I know how you feel. I’m 55 and haven’t found a wife. I’m now resigned to the idea that I’ll never marry and may as well just swallow a bullet than to go any further alone. You, however, are still young yet. While you are young, there’s always hope. Hang in there. You may be pleasantly surprised at what your future holds for you.

      Reply to Jack Kramer

      1. Hi Jack I’m 53 and am very lonely and depressed! I feel like my life is over! I don’t even know how I got on this sight and I’m sure I won’t find it again. I just want to wish you the best and hope GOD Blesses you with a long healthy and happy life! I hope you find what you desire Lynn Nazami

      2. Hi everyone, I stumbled onto this blog tonight. I’m 58 and alone. Married 29 years divorced no kids and all my family has now passed. I have a lot of friends but as someone else mentioned it seems there are a lot of fake friends too today. It’s a different world today. Loyalty, honesty, trust, respect was a code many of us lived by. Not so much today. I’ve come up with a saying…. friends not friends. Meaning not real friends we used to have years ago. I do have 3 dogs and always had horses but my last one passed at 26 in November. No more horses for me but I’ve always had dogs and they keep me going. Maybe it’s the unconditional love which seems so rare to find in this world today. I am a peer specialist which is a form of a therapist but we have real life experience, often very hard experience ourselves. In other words we just don’t learn from a book. I see a few who have had hard losses. I have too and yes I do understand. Sometimes you have to walk in shoes to really understand many things in life. Hearing the phases you’ll get over it or time heals all pain are just nice things for people to say when they don’t know what else to say. Sympathy and empathy are two very different things. Few look for sympathy what they want is empathy which is understanding. As we all age I think many of us do feel lonely and it’s very difficult to cope sometimes. We have a lot of the same fears but no one to tell or we don’t want to appear weak. But it is straight up honesty, it’s hard to go thru life alone. Our generations here weren’t really built for a life alone and we struggle. The older we get the more losses we have and we carry the pain of those losses. Holidays are the worse aren’t they? So many happy memories but no one to share them with anymore. I’ve thought many times of the old show the golden girls and how much sense it seems to make today. Sharing a home of friendship of men and women, supporting one another, independent yet a sense of a family. Like minded individuals who share same values just wanting a sense of a family who cares. For those who see nothing but loneliness ahead, you are not alone in your thoughts. They are shared by many but what do we do about it? I’m on the jersey border and many here are from all around the country. What do you think about a shared living concept for those who are alone? Do you think we’d be healthier and happier if we lived with others instead of alone? I believe I would feel much better sharing life with others knowing I had support and help if needed.

      3. I think that’s an excellent idea! I’ve been looking for senior communities with no luck. It is only we who really appreciate what we can do and who we are.

      4. Hi suzzane (my capital button doesn’t work correctly sometimes). You are quite a bit younger than me (I am retired and could probably be your mother) but identified with much you said. I wrote above about how so many people lately are really so fake (or scared to death you may get to really know what they’re like) and just spout off a lot of meaningless small talk (which gets mighty old).

        I am quite alone, live alone tho’ that’s basically ok. what I mean is I was married out here (Ca.) , divorced with one child, a daughter. she’s about six miles from me and is herself divorced with no kids. we love each other dearly but have little to no interests in common, hence, I get lonely and so does she at times tho’ she has some friends having been raised here. I don’t mind aloneness sometimes but really most enjoy time with people (espec. “real” people).

        we have no other family here except each other. Holidays are depressing for both of us so we usually grit out teeth and tough it out. I watch “golden Girls” sometimes and think it is a good idea to find pals to live with to help support each other. Wonder if it’s really feasible, tho’. Maybe some people will write and tell us if it is. I even looked into it once out here. Not sure how you go about it. some people already have their family and friends support system set up and don’t seem to be interested in including (or making the effort to include) anyone else into their circle. a lot of people here spend holidays alone for that reason.

        feel free to reply to this message if you want. I am in ca. (not really by choice), from Philly, Pa. love animals (espec. horses, dogs and cats), love to laugh and let stupid little stuff go by the wayside. Hope you are doing well these days. claire Owens

      5. Hello, I’m just your age but have no friends nor close relatives left. There are many studies that show how loneliness and hopelessness decrease our physical health. Being so, we should all find ways to live together. The sense of community is really important for our social well being: we all want to be part of something good and joyful. That said, in my country one has to relay upon the biological family net and since I have none, I’m doomed to be alone and on the outskirts of life.

      6. Sorry this is my first time and long.
        Hi Suzanne. I am 63 and live on the east coast. Your post brought tears to my eyes. Sorry for the loss of your horse. Right now i am dealing with my rescued Maltese of 13 years who has just been diagnosed with cancer and tumors. There is nothing that can be done. The other heartbreaking part of this is, I rescued a Yorkie within 3 months of each other. They have never been seperated. How do you explain where her sister went? It’s ripping my heart out.

        I too wake up so lonely every day. I cry for hours. I think of ways to take my life. It consumes me. The pain of lonIiness has become to much for me. It’s only going to get worse. I’VE done therapy, medication, activities. It’s not the same. It’s that connection that people care and you can call on them for help and vice versa. I cant believe my family who we have stuck together our whole life now see me as an out cast. How can your family do that??I have great friends but life has taken us in different ways. I have a daughter, brother and sister that live leass than 30 minutes away. My daughter got made at me for being honest with her and punished me by taking my grandkids away. We were so close our whole life and all of a sudden I am used for a scape goat for something my daughter did. My family talks behind everyones back, lies and my sister has been telling personal stuff to my family that was to be private for years. I never knew. I WAS SO DEVASTATED!! My flesh and blood. I raised my sister from the time I was 12 and then she had to move out at 28 as she was pregnant. There is so much more. I kept us out of foster homes. My sister is 4 years younger brother 19 months older. Of course there is more.

        Because I won’t let them tell me how to act, what to think, say, be like them, make fun of me and talk about me behind my back and then not be upset . I am now a trouble maker and there’s something wrong with me.

        All my extended family is gone and i would give anything to be with them. When i question my family about why they did or said that they ignore or threaten to block me. THEY ARE THE BIGGEST COWARDS I KNOW!! At least i know i still have integrity, honesty, morals, values, empathy, compassion and kindness in my heart. Having your only family turn against you is not normal part of life. No family holidays to share, hugs, words of love, phone calls to see if your ok, invitation to family events. THE BIGGEST HOLE IN MY HEART AND LOSS WAS MY DAUGHTER RIPPING MY GRANDCHILDREN FROM ME AFTER A LOVING 5 YEAR RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM. I wake up ill every day thinking about the.

        Suzanne, sorry so long. I think the Golden Girls and Boys are worth looking into. Family isn’t always blood related….

      7. Suzanne,.
        I have been searching for the “family” you describe in your post. I am 63, living outside of Seattle, divorced for 8 years. I have only Social Security Disability as income as I recently had to leave my last job due to spinal issues. Because I can not find a home of lonely seniors, I live in a “sober” home with others having addictions but I am by far the oldest, have no affiliation with addiction and the tenants change monthly. I have no children and siblings are involved with their own families. I cannot live the rest of my God-given life just existing. I lost everything through an abusive marriage and more abusive divorce.
        I want to wake up with a purpose. I would like to be in contact with those that are looking to live with others like ourselves. Is it possible that this could be a reality? Although I am grateful to have a roof over my head, I have to believe there is more joy waiting for me.

      8. Hi Suzanne,
        I think you have the correct insight. I also find when I try to make friends it seems that they are not interested because they already have their own family and circle of friends. Never in my life have I had such a hard time making friends. It all started after I got divorced. Even though my ex and I are still good friends. I moved to SC shortly after I divorced. I have tried to find a few meaningful friends. I don’t want friends that will back stab you or talk about others. I also don’t want to hear about all your health issues all the time. We all have our own health problems. I am a good listener and I would like someone that will also listen to me. I mostly like to be around positive people that like to laugh. I guess it’s hard to find good people these days.

        I too have watched the Golden Girls and have thought how fun that would be to live together with close friends that get along so good. Unfortunately that is not real life. I will say I am trying to sell my home and move to a 55 retirement community. I have heard so many good things about this community. Besides having so many things to do. The most important reason I want to live there is that they look out for each other. I have heard this from many residents.
        I hope my home sells so I can move. It is a huge community with neighborhoods. If I can’t find a few nice friends then I never will. At least I will be around people my age. BTW their is 3200 homes! No one can say to me that I don’t try to change my lonely life. I’m even willing to move. I have gone to meetups, tried to find nice friends in my own neighborhood. Gone to parks with my dog and festivals.

        I just hope my home sells so I can move to this wonderful community. If my house don’t sell I’m thinking of getting a tiny RV and take trips.

        I’m getting pretty desperate to change my life. Good luck to everyone and DON’T give up!

        Kristina

      9. i just wanted to check on lynn ,knowing how she feels i thought i would try and talk to to help if i could brighten her day a little ,,living alone ,being alone highly depressed at times it seems you dont or you aint gonna go on ,15 years ago i was diagnosed with CIDP,same as MS, same as GUILLEUM BURAY SYNDRUM, all three life long diseases only treatmeants no cures …..before this i was depressed ,i was still dealing with being an abandon child i’ve never been able to completely dismiss it because my biological mother passed before i was able to forgive her so that throws another stick in the fire so i’ve dealing with a bunch issues with my father that just keep escalating ,,,sometimes i dont wanna be here for all the pain i feel from it all many years i ran from it i could be around it ,thought it was closing in on me had to keep moving ,,now with the diseases i cant run no more but i still cant face it all ,started me a small busneiuss and i’m putting 14 ,15 hours a day into it get about 3 to 4 hours sleep a day ,,i dont want to live like this ,,and i’m close to running again ..when i read what lynn had writen i just wanted to tell her i’ll be your freind ..everybody needs a freind ,,if she decideds to acept a freindship i’m gonna list how she may get in touch first of all my name is shawn hughes i am 58 years old i live in va ..

      10. Hi I’m Deb
        I’m 54 and single my last child just graduated and will be on his own soon. I’m kind of lonely and looking for someone to go places with and enjoy my life now

        It seems that it’s hard to find that someone don t believe he’s out there. I hope he is.

    2. I’m 70 years old been retired 10 ..Married twice 20 years all together..Just want a friendship..Don’t want to get married but they see you own your House and your Car your doing good they want to get Married..I say can we just be Friends and they say I want something more..I say I can’t do it and its Goodbye.I’m along but I don’t FEEL ALONG..My Sister tells me to get a DOG…

      .

      Reply to Willis Haley

      1. Some women of retirement age, have a lifetime of having their own homes, however modest. Things such as fine rolex watches mean nothing to us. Nice for you to have nice things, but that would never impress me. They are not mine, I did not work for them. Therefore I would never date any man who thought that was all that was important to me.
        Simple and basic, is all one really needs after all.

      2. I feel the same way, I don’t want a dog, that is what my daughter tells me . Haha ! I just want a friend to travel with and go to events with, so hard to find someone that wants the same. I am in Georgia, what part of the country are you? I am a 67 year old divorced woman, I have lived here for 2 years , I should have stayed in my home state at least I New a few people., now I am here and just don’t want the expense of trying to sell here and move .

      3. Hi Diane – I think you’re the same Diane who answered my earlier blog. I’m Claire from Philly living just south of L.A. (Love horses and you said you have a small ranch in N.C.) If this is not you, you can answer anyway if you like. =^..^=

      4. Hi , I hear you, J am 64 and go days without speaking to anyone , the silence is just awful especially at night… I took early retirement due to illness and now don’t seem to fit in anywhere. I guess my life was at work.. I raised 3 kids who are grown with their own families.. I am in MA and just wondering your location, I am remission of leukemia and now wish I had never retired..

      6. I am just curious. Why do you not want to get married again?
        If you are lucky enough to find someone that you care for and who cares for you, why would you not want to share your life? I don’t understand this. Yeah, I’m set in my ways and like to do things a certain way but I figure anyone I would love would also have these traits and yeah, it might be tough adjusting to one another. Marriage can be work but I’d rather be happy than right. I’ve always thought the best way to spend your golden years was in a duplex, the hubby on one side and wife on the other. Just kidding, sort of.
        Are you looking just for a friend, or a friend with benefits? What is about being single that makes you want to stay that way?

      7. Hey Willis,
        My sympathies. You have been lying to yourself for some time now, because you like your space and freedom and don’t like being nagged. This is why you tell yourself the lies about why women want to marry you.
        If you have women to care enough about you at age 70, you have it better than most. Women at that age are not looking to scam you. What they want is for their old fashioned morals to be respected. 70 years ago, women who were not married, but were living with a man were considered less lady like. If a woman loves you, allowing her to marry you is not for what you own outside of your body, its for what you hold inside of you.
        Soon as you stop lieing to yourself, you will see I’m right. Maybe, you needed to lie all these times so the next woman that comes along and wants to become an honest woman for you, maybe you’ll say yes, because you will know its love and not money, that brings joy. Best of luck to you.

      8. Hi Willis,
        I’m 68 yr old female. I own my home and car. I’m doing fine on my own. Not all women are wanting marriage. I’m looking for friendship. I seem to get along better with men for some reason. I live in SC near Charlotte, NC Where do you live? If you are interested in getting to know each other, I would like to make some friends.

        Kristina

    4. Hi Di. I am 64 and have arthritis in my hands. I live in Mississippi. We moved here 2 years ago. My Mom died this past September, she was my best friend. I have not found anyone here I feel I could be friends with. I have 4 fur babies. My cats. All rescues. I now live close to my son and grandchildren. They are always busy. I’m happy for them, but lonely. Take care.

      Reply to Rosalie Garrett

  46. Hi
    I am Nash, 58, in Ohio, lost my spouse little over a year ago. This adjustment to a new life at this age is full of surprises to say the least. Dating at this age, is even more of a “challenge”. I am just looking for a like minded female to hang out with, do things with that like me, has their act together. Miss the companionship of someone to hang out with. I am very down to earth, no drama, no games, no BS. Exercise, look younger than my age. Like being outside, more of a summer person.
    Why is it so hard to find like minded people?

    Reply to Nash

    2. Hi Nash – just writing to encourage you to just keep on searching. You sound like a great guy (I am a retired senior and am not suitable for you but still know how you feel – long, boring story). There are women out there who would likely love to meet you so don’t give up. Just know that your dilemma is pretty common (but still painful, sometimes). God bless and help you. Claire

      Reply to Claire

    1. To many of the comments, best thing to do is help save and rescue animals. Become lost pet detective. Work, volunteer at animal shelter. The worse you feel, helping one is worse off can bring you comfort and grace.
      Good luck and go with God.

      Reply to Katie D. Bear

      1. Very True! Helping others is certainly a good way to lift one’s spirits. Course we do have to make time for our own needs.
        Alone in this world after a lifetime of carring for others, i plan on being the best I can be. This year I’m going to make it a point to get out and talk to many more people, just one more dance and maybe a trip or two.

      2. I agree, I am a 56 year old widowed male with no children, low income and not too many friends. I always feel better when I can help. Weather it’s an animal or human. Helping somebody working on a project. I would like to have more friends but, as we know it gets harder after 50 and being single and no kids. Can anybody point me in the right direction. I live in Smyrna GA. I have looked at a few website for volunteer work. But all they want is donations. I don’t make much money. But I would be gladly to volunteer my time and maybe meet new friends.
        John..

      3. Hi John – Read your blog and you sound like a great guy. My heart goes out to you as some of us somehow end up in some pretty lonely and isolated situations. I am too old for you (in my 70’s) but you sound like you could easily be of interest to some woman somewhere. God bless you. Claire

  48. My name is Dennis, Im 49yrs old. Live in NY by myself and I lost my daughter to cancer. My wife divorced me months after the death of our daughter. I still can’t get over losing my daughter I have a great family but its just not the same I’m so lonely at the moment. I believe God does not cause our loved ones to die. Well, By choice I would love to get to know you become a real good friend whatever happens let happen.

    Reply to Dennis

    1. Hi Dennis…. Merry Christmas..
      I live in Las Vegas….yep, can even be lonely out here…but I seem to make the most out of what I have around me and I am not talking casinos because I never go to them.
      Had a beautiful Christmas program last night–lights are great and so is music.
      Write soon if you want.
      Bee

      Reply to Bee

      1. Dear Dennis I am so sorry for your heart breaking tradgey.my name is Elinor .I am a 54 year old widow from nc.my husband died of Alzheime’s three years ago. He was 64.

      2. God bless you Dennis, I pray for the peace of God to be with you. My name is Rosa and I also live in New York. I also know how is feel to loose a family member who you truly love, it was my brother die in 2017. Take care I hope you feel better. Chao

    2. Dennis,
      I am so sorry about your daughter and pray for you. I am sorry your wife left you as well. I lost my oldest son to murder 13 Oct. 1990. He was 20. I know how you feel. It has been 29 years for me and I still grieve each day that passes. Dont let anyone tell you its gets easier cause it doesn’t. Time does have a way of day that go by, I may not think of James, but most days he is with me.
      No writing you for anything, am 69, just letting you know prayers in my daily wake helps.
      God Speed
      Linda
      Ps my husband left me this past friday after 18 years.

      Reply to Linda Davis

      1. Linda
        My heart goes out to you. I lost my precious child in 2001 and thought I would never adjust . In many ways I have not. It was a tragedy, Life Guard talking to the girls and my son slipped away.
        No one understands . My stupid brother in law was surprised when I was still mourning after 3 months!!!!
        And others gave me a year to “get over it”.
        You do not get over the death of you child.
        If we returned back to our lives as if nothing happened, then something is very wrong.
        This experience can only change you. For better or worse, I hope for better.
        You see the world through different eyes. You walk through the chaff until you find someone that understands. The world is so phony. Even many that attend church or synagogue.
        Thankfully I have my husband of 40 years and my oldest son. And now a new grandson. I must say, that baby truly lifted my heart .
        Life is not about fancy homes and cars, etc. It is about relationships. Real relationships where you feel comfortable sitting quietly with some one, or weeping.
        There is so much sadness in this world. And what angers me are the spouses that walk out the door because it is too hard???? Paleeze!
        That is what marriage counseling is for.
        My faith saved me , even though I first cursed God. He was faithful and I pray you all feel His presence.
        Blessings!

      2. hi Linda,im in the uk. My girl(age 20) got killed +dumped +was left to
        rot for 6 weeks before police found her. that was 12 years ago.
        now my son wont talk to my terminally ill partner ,
        so im stuck in the middle of those 2,visiting my son in secret,
        pretending to partner im not in contact with son either to keep
        the peace. i left home at 16 cos of stepfather abuse +too many
        siblings at home. no privacy.lived with an abusive family friend.
        im now menopausal,suicidally depressed. ive met too many
        deceitful,manipulative so called friends,inc my ex employer
        who was secretly getting my girl involved in wrongful activities+he
        couldve prevented her death. I think about daughter every
        minute of every day +how iv failed as a parent. i should never
        have been born.At least Linda you understand some of my hell

        i go through.please do not any1 mention ANYTHING to do with
        religion. it dosent help. i have no beliefs.i just need empathy ,
        understanding which most people nowadays DO NOT have.

    3. I just lost my husband . Would love to just have a buddy in my life. Been married more than once. But I am not looking for a relationship. I am looking for a friendship. I am 59. I know what loss is all about. My husband died with esphogael cancer. It was a tough journey

      Reply to Lorri L Frank

      2. I do, so much agree. I want friends, platonic relationships. It seems everyone is desperate for a spouse At 65, I do look younger, but have 50 year old men intent on a relationship, which causes problems with female friendships. Would love just a glass of wine and good conversation. Being in a unique situation, not looking for relationship, can actually get lonely!

      4. Hi, I’m 65, widowed to cancer also. Don’t even know where to begin, I really am seeking a platonic relationship, male or female. Everybody is looking for a date. Wish they had friend sites, for those of us not looking for more.

      5. Hi Lorrie…i am looking for friendship. I live in Denver, Colorado, and I am pretty .uch on my own. I am a “youthful” 67 and ha e led a good life…but now i find myself all alone in my big house. Not sure where to turn or what to do. I would like to share my home with someone too. What a lonely girl to do??
        Sa dy

      7. I lost my husband last year to a sudden heart attack. I know how hard it is to lose someone close. I know all about the loneliness. I am 54 years old. I am just looking for friends to write to, I’m not looking for a romantic partner on this site.

    4. Hi Dennis, I am so sorry about your daughter.
      I am 56 years old widow without kids and would like to meet you and share a friendship.
      It is good to have friends, to talk, to listen to you to go for a walk to relieve yourself of loss and grief

      Reply to Joan

    5. Hi Dennis, there are many fish in the ocean, life is to short to be waisted.Your daughter is your guardian angel now,if your wife leave you, her love is not genuine. Pray and do the good thing to others and a good woman from God will be send to you,cheers! This is Lanie from the Philippines., 45 years old widow with 3 snart teen ager son.take care and God bless you.

      Reply to Lanie Durias

      1. Where are you located being alone is rough. I am 67 and have been alone for almost 2 years. Someone to talk to or text with is nice.”

    7. Dennis sorry for your loss. Its often hard to find the right words to say when confronted with a complete stranger sharing their loss. I’m not sure what to say, well I can say this never been on this page & god must of led me here for a reason.
      Keep your head up & know know another comllete stranger listened to your story & wants you happy! we all deserve that!

      Reply to Sad eyes

    2. Hello Dorotthea

      Landed on this site via a search phrase ….

      It`s only 1;17 pm, and just sitting in my hotel room with not a soul
      nor family to speak with.
      Just staring out at the eastern Utah foothills now covered with snow.

      Holler if you would like…

      Dave

      Reply to dave

  50. I lost my second husband of 20 years this summer. He was a big man with a big heart . The last ten years were painful and lonely as he gave in to an eating disorder and depression. No different than any addiction. It takes a toll on loved ones. My first marriage was 27 years long, resulted in five children, and was filled with a combination of alternating affection and verbal abuse.

    I understand depression. It has been with me a long time. I have a bachelors in counseling, and just short of a masters in gerontology. But what has overtaken me in the past few months is nearly debilitating. It is not mental. I stay in my pajamas all day. Some days I get a burst of motivation and throw myself into continuing the job of clearing out all my husband’s clutter. I need help getting it all to the car and transfer station. The overwhelming job of cleaning out a garage full of guy stuff and clutter makes me angry. I like not having to answer to anyone about household matters, but the deafening silence is maddening.

    All my kids live downstate and work and are raising children. Before we moved to the north our house was always full of kids, grand kids and friends.

    I know about volunteering. For the past three years I have been a medical first responder on our volunteer fire department . I am also a writer but have trouble getting around to it now.

    Going to the store and roaming around helps. But my cortisol levels are off the roof from years of stress. During the time my husband was in the hospital and for three months after his death I was in an out of the hospital myself with serious intestinal problems, and then surgery. I lost a lot of weight. Now I have very little interest in food, and take frequent naps. What I miss most is affection and companionship.

    Reply to Janet McDonald

    1. Dear Janet, I have struggled with an eating disorders and depression for over 30years. So I can relate to your situation. I lost 2 husbands because of my eating disorder/depression. Now I am alone. Very isolated, and find social situations very hard.

      Reply to Kristine Knowlton

    2. I am 50woman I am looking for companionship Perhaps a long term healthy relationship. I look very young for my age very attractive not to sound conceited. Educated masters. I must say in these days and times I do have trust issues expression Li with strange people meet and strange people but I know I have to come out of my confidence own and awarded to continue living my life I feel like I’m dying every day

      Reply to Dickson

      1. hello Dickson 50 yrs. old and probly look 30 i am 77 yrs.young could pass for 60 i have been told i don’t know where you live i live in Bentonville, AR. in the beautiful Ozark mounts.

      2. Hi Jackie Smith.

        I am 71 yrs young. I live in Glendale Az. for the past 6 months. Long Story how I got here, but 6 months ago I lived in a small beach town in N.C. My husband and I of 52 yrs. owned a beautiful home, and our surroundings were to die for. We lived there for 20 yrs. Before that we lived on L.I. New York for 30 yrs. When we retired, we moved to this beach town and built a house, and put 20 yrs. of hard work and love to make it what it was. We came to Arizona sight unseen to move closer to family. Our daughter lived in Arizona for 10 yrs. During most of those 10 yrs. we were not in communication. It was only months after we opened channels of communication that she felt we needed to be close to family. She was living hand to mouth, pay check to paycheck. She moved here for the love of her life, which was a disaster. She became pregnant after just months of living with this guy she moved to Arizona to be with. That relationship lasted 2 years. She now has a ten yr old son, and has shared custody with the father. She cannot leave the state because of her son. The boy has many issues and problems. She knew we had money, ( of which we were giving her thousands of dollars while communicating on the phone) and we were convinced that we should be near family. We bought a house, that was viewed on line. Big Mistake!!!! She and her son live in this house with us. What my life was once, is the complete opposite. I was against this drastic life changing move, but my husband too felt the pressure and was convinced, this was the right thing to do. I am so lonely. I have no reason to get up in the morning. This move did not have to happen. We prepared so well, financially to be able to be independent, and we gave it all up. What is the sense of having money. I am a very good 71 yr. old, and I too do not look my age. I have a very young mind, which I wish I didn’t have. None of our friends would believe how we are living, and neither do I. I wake up every morning in disbelief of what we did. I feel so hopeless. alone and trapped. Our daughter is in complete control of our lives. I try to think of a way to get our lives back, but I have too much going against me. So much more to this sad, sad journey. I need to talk and see if someone out there has experienced what I am living.

    4. Hello Janet
      I carefully read your posted info o. This site
      I’m 59 and live alone. My very unfortunate
      Is I was married to a female professional for two years.
      I do other her due to selfish angry behavior she was
      Never happy and the master manipulator I couldnt even take a phone cazll from my brother and or best friend at any time. Well I was silly enough to remain with her aunt FOUR months ago she tossed my aside nd no real cloture
      I could write for hours I know how you feel it’s no better for me. No motivation or care
      You are not alone. Mason

      ve slone

      Reply to Mason Peck

    7. Janet – so sorry for your losses. My life is stressful (or was), too, and I know how painful life can be. I am retired (in my 70’s) and if I can be of comfort to you, just let me know (I am very new to this site – one week – and am not sure how you contact people here) but I will leave my e-mail address – foxrest7771@yahoo.com. Do take care and may God bless you and help you. Claire

      Reply to Claire

  51. Hi everyone. I am a 55 year old woman who is baffled by all these comments. I have no health issues of any kind and still attractive enough to turn heads from younger men. I believe that attitude is essential when it comes to aging. I had a business once in an area where all the women over 40 complained about the inevitability of the pitfalls of aging. I closed shop and got out of there super fast. This is a toxic mentality that sooner than later becomes contagious. I am so tired of hearing how some people are “just lucky” to age better than others. In my youth I overcame serious illnesses I learned to heal myself through research of many modalities such as Qigong and diet. Ladies, there are ways to keep yourself up physically and yes sometimes as the years pass you have to do things a little more extreme with diet, etc. As for the social aspect of aging, I would suggest to always engage outwardly for example taking classes,, etc. Also from a romantic perspective let me say that my aunt married her last husband, a multi millionaire, at the age of 72. So you see, aging is not the end of the world for women anymore than it is for men.

    Reply to Olivia Bettinger

    1. Oh Olivia. I’m so sorry you have had these burdens to bear. This earth gig can be a bitch right? The good news is that you get these days ahead of you. Some good, some not so good BUT they are all days. I’ve been married for 39 years now and these past few years have felt somewhat lonely. At the end of the day I’m hopelessly in love with my wife and she with me. We just seem to soldier through it. I’m not sure what happiness means anymore or if it’s even something that can be pursued. So what to do? Well, for me, I do my best to find Joy in anything and everything I can. It might be quick smile from someone I see on the street, or a passing hello, or my sweet little 4 year old Visla dog Stella who makes even my darkest days full of light. Find these precious moments before they are gone each day.

      Reply to Tony

      1. I turned 55 I have been married 37 years. My husband only needs me for a housekeeper and cook. I feel so alone. I have been force to sleep in a room down the hall because he says I snore and he likes a radio on to sleep. I work night shift part time as Registered Nurse I tried working other shifts during my life but I cannot take the overstimulation I suffer attention deficit disorder and do better in small focused environments such as the night shift work. This can get pretty demanding some nights itself. Lately I feel so sad it’s like I see my life slipping away.
        I have never been a person who liked running around on the road I basically stay home doing nothing most days well I wait on my husband cooking and cleaning.

        Death stares me in the face every day at work and at home as well but death by means of hopelessness. I cannot stand people like the above poster Olivia who thinks it so easy and judges those who cannot see life the way she does.

      2. Dee, I’m in a lonely relationship also and wife has copd and colitis and sex is not her bag. We had the best sex life any person could want and now haven’t had any closeness or sex since 2011 and I’m 75 years old and just as sex minded as I was when I was 20. Think about it all the time and love my wife but need a FWB now in my life. People may say I’m a jerk or something but I can’t stop my feelings for being intermit with a woman. I would love to find a woman that is as lonely as I and I’m a true gentleman, will treat you with respect and dignaty. Just call me lonely. Live in southern Ohio. Bill

      3. Hi Bill I’m in the same situation God knows I really desire communication excitement whatever life brings. I took my ex back after he cheated and nothing has changed.
        Would to talk.

      4. Dee I’m with Olivia on some of the things she is saying. Life is one Journey so begin by finding God, go shopping for a church that fits your needs spiritually, which is also part of your health , the rest falls into place because you let your focus be on number one your master. The Omega that fits all needs, great counselor, spiritual mentor, love, physical healer. Once you allow him to be your first priority then all the things you need begin to take place. You have to have focus off of you. Your husband, well there is nothing God can’t change. The duties at home should be something you enjoy because it makes your life easier keeping things in order. It should be split or hire housekeeper. Tell him the budget will have to be out of his activity extras.lol Find things you like to do at least every other week to give you life back You are a problem solver for goodness sake. Make your list of positives in your life and negatives. Then make a plan to pray for the negatives to change what ever that means. By the way I’m a Registered nurse and I am age 61 and a widow. My husband died after a long illness 18 years to be exact. You are in charge of your life and maybe this is a wake up call. Make a list and change the things you can that you don’t like. Prayers.

      5. Hi Dee – I am on this site for the first time and am amazed at all the sad stories, yours included. In a nutshell, I am a senior, divorced , no family support system, friends hard to come by as in Ca. (where I live) especially, people are quite phoney. I am living alone, love people of every kind but live a lonely life because the love of people in general is really quite cold and shallow in our world today.

        I am writing you today because you are so very distraught and hurting inside. I hurt, too, but one thing I find helps me fight on and press on is my deep belief that God dearly loves me and cares immensely about my pain (and it is daily pain). This world is a fallen world full of sin, pain, and suffering. But Dee, God so loves you and wants you for His daughter. He can help you bear this. Much of our suffering is our own fault but much of it is because of the sin and selfishness of other people.

        My heart goes out to you because, even though I cling to my faith in God , I too, suffer because of what others have done to me. I hope, and am praying for you, that you, too, will give your heart to your Savior (Jesus) and to your Father, who loves you dearly and wants to strengthen you as you face the selfishness of your husband. Giving your heart to Christ will not solve every difficulty in your life – Jesus, Himself, said it would not be easy down here on Earth – but you will have hope at last in One who will one day give you true life as it was always meant to be . Claire

      1. Hi Dee
        I understand very well what you are feeling and I am very sure that you are very love and affection given , and my heart goes to you , I am 68 year old man I am treated the very same after 39 years of marriage with it’s ups and downs with the results of flute growing up three men’s and final medical student daughter but back up to 15 years my wife discovered that she cannot sleep because I snore and I haves used every available device and sprays to stop , been asleep I don’t remember or wolkup or kicked by my wife but still complains she can’t sleep
        So I have to sleep in the box room for over 15 years on a single bed
        Now it has reached the state we do not compuncat at all and I suggest to seek family conuceling and was refused , I feel alone with my family and deep loneliness, missing the empathy, love , companionship and happiness even the family all taken mother side
        I only fee I am only a financial security that’s very heartbreaking and disappointment in human race
        I am returning pharmacist and I feel I am way into deep depressing state of mind, I feel I will be happy to get out of the house and live alone with the compliance large dogs

      2. I found this site a few days ago,looking to find seasoned saints with whom I could enjoy a bit if camaraderie;instead I feel as though I’ve stumbled onto a senior citizens pity party,everyone playing a victim …but guess what? There’s only one victim chair,so with all of the intelligence that I believe is within the corporate group,I believe taking a moment to stop to focus on how lonely ,depressed and mentally disabled if for only a bit you would acknowledge that not every moment of your life has been
        heart rending but you have been happy and for some reason someone has passed around the Kool-Aid of believing life has no reason because you are older. I’m a product of dysfunctional parents(my mom a woman-child) who never said we kids mattered,she never told us we were loved,no hugs and kisses.If you fell down,there wasn’t a mom to kiss away the boo-boo. I watched my parents physically fight,weapons were discharged and we kids became the collateral damage. The hypothetical story of 2teens who had an alcoholic dad,one became a drunk the other became a successful business person. Just because life throws horrid things your way,is no reason to allow the negativity to be embraced. I’m sure some of you think I’m extremely horrible,however,I lived in hell growing up. I knew that I wasn’t going to have a chance to go to college as other kids in school and even when I wanted to get a job after school to learn how to be responsible my mom became incensed and she physically punished me and refused to speak for a week. I didn’t know then,she was mentally unstable,however,I chose to leave home after she almost killed me because I at 16 didn’t want to date a married soldier. When I joined the military,it was hard,however,I realized my life could become whatever I decided I wanted to pursue. Working diligently,I went to several military schools and
        ,found out I was capable of so much more than I had been told.–(growing up,the same phrases,you’ll never amount to anything,no one will want a stupid girl like you ) my S-dad couldn’t understand why I continued studies in college,he asked if I was that stupid I still had to go to school? I knew in my heart the day I stopped learning would be the day I’d die. Today,I’m retired and yes,I do live alone…most males have been raised not to be a husband but simply to find another mother. I was naive which cost me a lot of pain and heartache,however,I heard a tv preacher one Sunday I had come back from a woman’s shelter because my husband had attempted to take my life,(he was arrested for attempted murder.)…The preacher’s message “Forever a Victim,I Don’t think so”! I bought the tape series and listened and applied what was shared. I went back to the shelter,retrieved my belongings,came home and made a choice. Happiness is my responsibility,it’s not someone else’s place to keep me happy nor will everyday be sunny and trouble free. In the military a saying,YOU’RE EITHER PART OF THE PROBLEM-OR THE SOLUTION. yes,I could sit and feel sorry for myself or I could use the mess I’d lived through and make it my message. I decided to surrender my life to Jesus,not in mental assent but truly submit and surrender. I,too, believe that years ago young women were taught their place,social graces and men were men who had a job not simply looking for a woman to take care of him. When I began to see those I’d loved had all passed,I realized that it was difficult if not impossible to find a gentleman that didn’t expect payment of sex for a dinner and movie. I made a choice to be acquaintances because friendship is a commitment that few people today know how to honor. I don’t think because I’m 66 that I have no purpose. I believe God as my creator is the one who has given me abilities and it’s up to me to look within and find the untapped resource that is not being used. As long as God gives you breath,you wake up,HE has a purpose for you. Militarily,we filled slots,with God’s kingdom,we all have a gift that only you can do,because you have the gifts and talents. The lady who stated she was a peer specialist,knows what it means to walk in another person’s shoes because of first hand experience. Watching the world we live in today,it’s not the good old days,and I don’t expect to see those days again. I believe just as you can’t go forward in a car looking always in the rearview mirror,neither can you overcome the mental mindset that has convinced people that age has to be empty,loss of hope and being alone doesn’t mean you have to be lonely. I believe the choices we make today,the words we repeatedly say form our tomorrow’s. Recall,I was a kid from a whacked out dysfunctional family but I chose to change my words. I began to frame my world with positive words,I refused to accept negativity as a mindset even though many times my family would deliberately ignore me during holidays…and yes the holiday season can be very lonely however,if no one else toots their horn for you,give yourself a party. Happiness is born from within not without. If people aren’t the author of your happiness…they can’t take it from you. I really wish with as much love,respect and understanding to challenge each of you to think about your self-talk. Learn to be kind to yourself. Don’t wait when you see a need,be a hero to someone who you never would have thought was hurting. A famous psychiatrist was asked what was the best cure for depression.His answer,was to get dressed,go out into the street,find someone who was in far greater need than you,and be kind to them. Jesus says in the Holy Script ‘as we give to the poor,we lend to God ‘ ….I know pain and I despise it,however,if I succumb to allowing it to control me,I become a prisoner of my own making. Learning to forgive is the antidote for bitterness. You think if you forgive the person who was guilty of hurting you is without punishment,forgiveness allows you to become free and opens your future for what ever choices you decide. Choosing to focus on the negativity of what you’ve been through,robs you of the opportunity for freedom to welcome your tomorrow’s with a positive attitude. I,in no way intend offense,however today,it seems unless you tell people only what they want to hear,not what will help them,people carry xtra offenses in their pocket. I share my heart because I truly care about people.If you knew the road a person was going down was dangerous and could destroy a life,you’d readily do what you could to help others be safe,I have been down the road,I hope someone will heed the words I share because I truly care.

      3. Hello Claire, This is my first time on this site. Your post caught my eye as your are really the first one who mentioned God. As he is the reason we are here. Also I believe you mentioned about the holidays and being alone, I believe that was you . I can relate to that also as I have no family left, no children No one the holidays are hard , I am almost 62, was an only child. Was married to a man who … abused and took everything from me, so trusting is an issue for me. Therefore, I keep to myself pretty much . I am a person with a big heart who cares about this world that is not the same any more sadly. I volunteer, rescue dogs and cats from Asia, yet, I am still alone . I have a purpose,, why I was put here, but still , I am from the northeast, and stuck in the south, where there is not much in the way of chances to interact with others. No culture, lol or many people for that matter, I am looking to move, just not sure where a single 60yr old alone can go. Without knowing anyone. I’m basically shy . Anyway I know loneliness, and if one doesn’t interact with others, one can sink into depression. Well Thank you for bringing up God. We need him . If anyone wants to talk, I am here.

    3. Olivia, No offense intended, but just because you have not experienced the same thing as other seniors doesn’t mean they are not real. Due to forced retirement, loss of my home, a move to a different state and miscellaneous health crises I am experiencing a serious social disconnect and I don’t know how to reconnect. Perhaps with your successful life and your great knowledge you can tell me how to do that since you know so much about the individuals who post on here.

      Reply to Bonnie

      1. Hi Bonnie, I’ve experienced the same serious, and it is serious, social isolation. I’ve never had this before and really struggling with depression. over the last year and has gotten to be a way of life and now it’s hard for me to even get out to go to the store. I miss my friends, everyone has moved way and I am retired with no way to meet anyone. I just wanted to say I know how you feel and if you need support, we could talk.

  52. I am 57 yrs old with an mind of an 18 yr old. Have been through a lot in the last 10 yrs. Am living with my 22 yr old son in an apt for the past yr and a half. He now wants to move on and get an apt with his gf. I am low income and have nowhere to go. I am so alone. My 2 kids are trying to look for a place to dump their mom. I have nothing left to live for. They are the only family I have and I feel like my life is over now. I do not like being alone,yet I will never live with strangers again. I was just starting to feel safe until my daughter got an apt with her guy.My son thought about it and now wants to live with his gf. Which leaves mom out. After all the yrs I raised my kids and sacrificed everything,I am now at a dead end. Literally. The feeling of dread is with me everyday. This became a thing the day after Thanksgiving when my daughter visited us and it seems both of them got to talking.All of a sudden there is my daughter on her phone looking for places to put me. Seriously? I love the outdoors hunting and fishing,animals, classic cars,camping, and traveling. I have so much to give, yet I feel like I am wasting air. It is sad that a person can feel worthless and who has to worry about where she fits in the world. Oh, I’m sure if I won the lottery or had money coming in continuously, it wouldn’t be so bad. But now, I feel I am done. It is a harsh world for people who are about to be left out.

    Reply to susan king

    1. I get it I’m 68 and have been here taking care of my now 94 yr old mother that was a harsh brutal mother to us 4 children I was the black sheep and the only reason I’m here is to take care of mother and I have no place to go but there is live in work which helped me in the past or at least til you get on your feet there are also a couple of places up north to live in a hippy commune and then there is Coolworks.com where you can get a job in a resort setting some have live in facilities and then you can get a small camper or learn to live in your car until something pans out but the live in job is what’s helped me and advertise ….. you get room and board 1-2 days off start socking the money in a bank good luck

      Reply to Noelle

      1. App sleep Hi my name is Delors I suffer from I was wondering if anybody could give me any advice I’m 53 years old I live alone I don’t have any family I don’t have any friends. I have 3 children they are older and the stranged living their life do not see much of them. I took for granted raising my children I gave them all a vein I forgot to do anything for myself and clothing a social life noun I’m 53 and alone can somebody please tell me where to the lonely go?

      2. Susan King , Hello ,,
        Wow , do I get it , I am 60 yrs young and have been preparing for the thing you face , I also face , how scary can life get !!!! Although I am not rich , I am planning on traveling , I am all alone even though I have a daughter and son , I love them so , but my addiction to them has been money motivated on their parts ,they are WELLL to do should something happen to me , in the meantime , I am going to try to hit the road and be a road Warrior , yuppers !! Time to site -see and wonder in a bit of style , I am a SWF , not looking for any sexual stuff !!!! I am looking for someone who may want to travel and be Thelma / Louise friend , without the running over the side of a Canyon , Lol !! I have the truck and the new travel trailer and the income , I would love to speak , should you think this is up your ally .. Ms. Sami

      3. Hello. You have a wonderful attitude. I have to go to California for a few reasons and drive back east. Do not want to do it alone. Very good references, no smoking etc. I don’t think of myself as senior but a friend said I should check this out and I do admire your free spirit attitude.

      4. I would love to do this, but don’t have a home base or a place to come back to that is home. lost everything in a recent divorce. have some $$$ put away but dont know where to go or what t do. the friend I was living with told me I have tore out by April when she and her husband return for their winter home… I am in a very isolated very cold climate.. I need someone to reach out to me and pull me out. my son is in Seattle with his family… but living their own lives. I can’t afford Seattle on my own… venting here.. sorry.. but Thelma and Louise… sounds great if only I could… I’m turning 60… look younger and am so lonely and afraid

      6. Hi, I am 65 years old. Divorced when my girls were 1 and 4. They were with me 95% of the time, so I never dated… my choice (I guess). I worked from home; they were my focus…along with earning enough to support us comfortably. My social life was wrapped around them, volunteering at school, hanging out with the moms of their friends. I have great memories. But now they don’t have time for me, I’m still working since I helped them out financially over the years.
        My job recently screeched to a halt. Much of my socializing was tied to my business. So that has stopped and I just feel too exhausted to make friends, join clubs, etc. also have had to have a couple of surgeries which has isolated me even more.
        I want a ‘new best friend,’ or a guy friend to just fall through the ceiling and appear on my bed next to me, laughing and watching a movie.
        I relate to feeling stuck geographically (in SW FL).
        I feel like I woke up at 65, alone, without a plan for the rest of my life…
        I’ve suffered from depression all of my life…luckily I can laugh at myself.
        I feel like there are so many opportunities, and yet there are none.
        I really didn’t expect my life to be like this! It’s so hard!!

      9. Hi. Rick
        I’m in l;ate 60’s, never-married, with a Chiweenie (dachshund+chihuahua) who is my angel dog that got me thru the loss of my beloved parents (there certainly were no humans around who gave a damn.) I rely on God and my little dog and at the moment it seems to be enough. I’m in Central Oregon. Do you want to email ? Three “weiner dogs” – cracks me up just thinking about that !

    3. Hi Susan,
      When reading your story I felt a kind of kinship with you, although I have no children. I’m not sure which is worse, having children who make you feel unwanted and unloved or having no one who is supposed to love you.
      I too am 57 yrs old and low income. I have no siblings and my parents are in poor health and live 5 hrs away. I am living with a man whom I do not love as a husband or even a boyfriend. The past 11 years have been very rough for me, my “boyfriend” had a major heart attack and now is on Disability. It has been rough for him as well but I feel that I do not exist anymore. His needs have always come before mine and now more than ever.
      I work a full time low paying job and live in a 40 year old mobile home which used to be his mothers, so I too am struggling with depression and feel like I am stuck in my situation. I cannot abandon him because I would not want anyone to do that to me.
      So what do we do with ourselves?
      I’m not a very religious person but I do believe in God and am trying to leave it all in his hands and praying that my future will not be as bad as my present. I feel that’s all I can do.
      I will pray for you as well, hang in there! Hopefully everything will turn around for both of us real soon.

      Reply to Sandy

    4. Hi Susan,
      Saw your letter on Senior Planet. I’m feeling for you, believe me. I’ve just lost my wife Nov. 16th of this year and am still in disbelief but trying to return to my routine. Thankfully I have 2 wonderful daughters who are watching out for me continually. It’s hard for me to understand your children treating you that way.
      Feel free to write me if you’d like. I would like to know how you are doing.
      By the way I’m not young but I don’t feel 73 and I’m in good health and enjoy my life.
      Sincerely, Richard

      Reply to Richard

    5. Pleaser remember this….emotions are like the ocean. They rise and fall but the waves keep coming. Your life keeps coming. What happens if you decide I won’t let life just happen to me here. I’m going to get proactive and find a way to start a new adventure in life. Maybe it’s a business of your own that starts from a little taco stand like Chipotle. Maybe it’s a diary that turns into a book. Purpose in life will find you if you’re only willing to seek it. Be like a dog to a bone on this one. Until the Almighty pulls the trigger to bring you home you’re not done! Pursue life and be relentless about it. The opera isn’t over till the fat lady sings and I don’t think you’re that gal K? GO FOR IT! You’ll find a new happiness will overcome you that you thought was never possible. Trust me, I know.

      Reply to Tony

      1. Hi Tony, thank you so much for your inspiring sensitive words. They resonate so much. At the moment I struggle with lack of confidence and turn to spiritual books for comfort and reflection. Thank you again

    6. Hello Susan my name is Delores . I am in exactly the same place you are I am very lonely I live alone I don’t want to be alone looking for friend if you are interested in converse and I’m going to leave my email feel free to contact me I know what loneliness feels like it’s just another day of despair you have to look forward to it’s a horrible place to be alone.

      Reply to Dickson

      1. Hello Jackie,
        I am live in Farmington, AR just a few miles from you I am a widow of 2 years and would love to have a friend close by.

    9. Shuttles in Lafayette right near category. Except I’m not homeless I lost my wife 5 years ago. I live in California and I just couldn’t afford expensive lifestyle in California. So I moved back east the Missouri was born and raised Perico to my son’s here and I have one son. And we’re close but the only problem is he has his life. And I understand I don’t feel comfortable moving into it. So I live by myself. I love fishing hunting classic cars that’s what I was into four years. I’m 73 I was married 51 years. I never 7 days. And we got married.Yes and it definitely gets very lonely for me I am 73. I said I don’t look at but that’s beside the point. Definitely don’t have a 73 mind. It all turns out to be a scam because they want me to send money..

      Reply to Wayne goachet

    10. Hello Susan King
      I’m replying to an old message you posted on Senior Planet and I just wondered how you are now in year 2020. I can empathise with you as my family situation is the same as yours. I live in the UK. If you want a penpal then please email me perhaps we can help each other.

      Reply to Linda

    1. I agree. Holidays can be difficult to get through. When you’re an empty nester and feeling all alone such as myself. It would be nice to have someone to talk to and possibly go places. I am 59 years old and still working a full-time job. I find it very challenging to meet others.

      I live in Illinois, outside of Chicago.

      Jeni

      Reply to Jeni

      1. Hi Jeni
        I am 72 also live in Illinois Trying to decide what I want to do with my life to. I have my Dads house which I am working on to sell Not sure what I want to do . Have a hard time meeting others also .
        You say you are outside of Chicago . Is that north or south I live
        Lake Summerset
        A lot of people from Chicago have second homes here or retired here.

      2. Hi Jeni,

        I am 56 years ole with no children and also live south of Chicago, I know how you feel and the holidays make it even worse. If you’d like to meetup and make some plans, please reply. Deb

  54. Hello,
    I am 55 year old women and I have Hashimotoes knee arthritis and I tore my meniscus a few years ago, due to all of this I don’t leave my apt. much except for medical appointments.

    I am look for people who would like to talk on the phone, emails and messages take too much time.

    I have a daughter I’m estranged from and trapped in a horibly neglectful marriage.

    I live in a borough of NY and hoping to move upstate soon.

    Reach out if you would like friendly companionship.

    Reply to Mary

    1. Hi Mary: I would love to be in contact with you. I am sorry about your marriage. I had one like that. My daughter is also estranged off and on. I have a son who I am in contact with several times a week. I am 65, single and live alone and get lonely, too.
      Susan

      Reply to Susan Mickel

    2. Hi, my name is Andrea. I live on Long Island in Nassau county. I too am in estranged relationships with 2 out of my 3 girls. However, I have an empty nest life and in a very estranged marriage. I am very lonely and looking for people to become friends with and just talk. I am so alone. I don’t know where you live but I hope you see this letter and just maybe we can become great friends. By the way I am 63 yrs. old. That might be too old for you but I can still relate. Hope to hear from you soon. From, Andrea Brown. I’m

      Reply to Andrea

      2. Ok ladies. I’m 60 years young. My husband in a nursing home since 2009. I’m not interested in dating. I was in live but I’ve been grieving him ever since his diagnosis in 1988. We married in 1981. Had our son in 1984 had our daughter 1988. In 1992 my husband. Old no longer do his own adl’s , I was his sole caregiver and I was the financial provider to my now adult , married, successful children. In 2004 i I was found to have a rare cancerous disease( a genetic issue on the part of one of the biological donors my mother slept with turns out the other kids were fine. I’m estranged from my small family my mothers preference. Turns out 2004 had me in sloan for two surgeries my son then 20 in 2005 had his surgeries he has the same thing and then my daughter then 17 surgeries in 2006 . I
        2007 husband had a heart attack while stair skating and we kept taking care of him at home. He learned to do life all over again but now the dementia from chronic progressive Multiple Sclerosis was so controlling. I couldn’t ask my daughter for the help he needed n my son well too much. The ostrich left. Both kids incredibly married n both my children are extremely successful. They have their own friends, watch their health n keep all their appointments with the life long mists at sloan Kettering n.y c. Yes; we laugh, we’re grateful! I did several years with chemo it doesn’t help. So I have a central pic li e because I gave up the port after an infection with my port. It was an infection I could do nothing about . It came from my body disliking the Hubert needle. So life has been a tad rough. I worked until 2 years ago. That’s when Mayo in Rochester Minnesota accidentally perforated my only left small intestine. Yes my daughter was told I wasn’t going to survive yet I did. I can’t work I have an 8 hour hydration infusion 7 days a week to stay alive. My ileostomy from my mayo surgery requires the help of htdration. Talk about a drag. My kids successful married and happy with something I lost while a caregiver and mom: FRIENDS and get this mantra are their colleagues close to my age. However I’m told u need to find my own friends! I did parenting correct, they are independent, happy despite it all. All of our lives have been invaded by illness that came as unwanted visitors to over stay their visits to our bodies. We move forward. I’ve done it all. What I’ve been in sear h of is friendship. I’m not interested in inserting myself into any male persons life. I’m interested in friendships to last my lifetime, to laugh, have fun, shop, talk, just be real. I don’t dabble in social media as I found it to be more detrimental than positive for me. Either there is too much coupling, family happy together( I dont have) friends that out did me with success, timeshares, early retirement ( women look at me as a threat) really. I can’t believe it myself. The others I can’t keep up with their lifestyle so they left me. I’m funny as hell given a chance, creative and just want to live life not exist. So if you have room on your friendship list I live on the East End of Long Island. For Christmas I would live a friend or friends to talk . I feel like I’m on an isolated island. How could this happen ? There are so many people in this world and I’m friendly it’s just not enough. Also, I’m told I look younger than my years. My heart feels high spirited n happy when I dont feel so alone. Mt daughter doesn’t have time for me between marriage, her life, her friends her career, her home, her husband( not in that order) I’ve tried various meetups but the ones I’m interested in for friendship state on line their “meet ups ” are full. Their membership three people. Seriously? I’m not in favor of traveling to n.y.c. it’s just not me, I don’t want to hang out at fast food joints. Other than that I’m an open book. No mysteries. My only con tact now is a phone conversation weekly with a woman , 80 yrs. Old who won’t leave her home. She has no interest .she has a gaggle of grandchildren and growing numbers of great grandchildren. My children can’t have their own children. So no grandchildren for me. I wish for grown up friendships without it being my daughter who is too busy. So if you like keep me in mind

      3. Home alone sucks. My husband died my grandson was murdered.there’s no point I want to go there’s nobody I want to see and I don’t want anybody to see me. I’m just so tired of everything

      4. Hey, Faye

        I hope your doing better. I just read your post and I feel somewhat the same as you. I could use a friend and it sounds like you could too

      2. Hi Richard, I am in Texas as well….where are you? I am currently in Arlington looking to move to North Dallas area about an hour away from here. I am 59, will be 60 in January. I was married for 30 years and have been divorced for 10 years now.

  55. I am in a small town in NE Ohio. Would love to meet people my age. I am a 62 yr old woman who keeps myself up, church goer, love the outdoors, love animals especially my dogs, like fishing, camping, yard stuff. I have had a crappy adult life. Never have known what real love is like as I never had a good marriage or a good relationship with a good man. I was adopted too so I have never felt like I belonged anywhere. I moved here to be closer to my kids but rarely hear from them. I have no friends here except for my church family. Nothing here for people to socialize. There is a senior center but they are way older than me and all know each other.

    Reply to Suzanne M

    1. I read thousands and ten-thousands of comments from people who are very sad to be alone yet none of them has been trying to contact the others to form a group and move to another town together and live in the same building or neighbourhood. Lets discuss our needs and capabilities, find a place and a life style that will be suitable to everyone in the group and work towards to realize it. Living in another country can be a good option also.

      Okay, I go first and give you an email address that I can discard if I get replies from some sick people, its worth to try:
      hkcomeandgo@gmail.com

      I am a female senior, divorced and living alone. Absolutely no romantic connections.

      hk

      Reply to Eva

    2. Hi, I’m a 55 yr old woman never married no kids and a medical professional. On paper probably look great. I make friends easily but through rhenyears treachery or something losing contact has. Lost them alll. I have no one to call when I need to talk. Prove a is huge part of,it. Fear is a huge Part or it. HwT to do ina few years a.one and a woman whose no real physically strong living in the middle of nowhere. Not to mention I’m an lonely and depressed and anxious as a person can be. Modern medicine has been a joke.

      Is this it ? I’m so scared and my 2orst nightmare actually happened. I’m your 20 and 30’s you know deep down you still,have a chance , I feel my chances are gone. Huge student loans. Renting so no paid off mortgGe as I should have.

      I’m so damn lost. To meet me you’d never know it..

      My dog of 8 years just died a long sad dec.ine with demetia.

      I Can’t seem to get interested or focused enough to really build some hobbies but flowers did help this summer but now it’s grey for the next 8.months in upstate ny.

      No baby (my dog). Nothing to hold my interest . Menopause brain.

      I’m no good for the online thing. These men see me coming a mile away plus I am in too bad of shape to even think about it.

      I feel us women who are mostly normal with major issues and over 50 are screwed.

      Thank you for listening. I am ,ost and da. Near ending it

      Reply to Patti

      3. Patti, I’m certainly almost exactly in your shoes. I am retired medical professional. After leaving work and my babies (2 kitties) I have no family n or friends. Differently, I married nine years ago. Think I was looking not to be alone n have a partner later in life. To my surprise two years in I found out he’d fooled me and is adult Asperger’s autism. It’s horrible of horrible. He had health issues and of course I jumped in. That became my life, an extension of work, getting his health issues resolved. I was so busy even after autistic diagnosis, getting his health fixed I paid no attention to losing my life, friends, hobbies and activities I enjoyed. There’s too much of that except to say I was his primary caregiver and many said that’s why he married me…He never was a partner as I wanted in marriage and financially after retiring early, I need his income to stay in my house until I can sell it and then move n separate. He’s told me he’s going with me because he’s got nobody… well life has gone to nothing. For a while I went to a church I loved but he hated how close they were and we went to another place. There I never had friends n no resource info. I’ve settled into doing nothing almost daily except think how can I find myself again or should I. Depression n anxiety drive me further into isolation. A therapist had me join group at senior center but those folks aren’t me. I have nobody to call n talk for real. I used to love cooking but that became a burden cause he’s out of control n eats all in sight yet doesn’t cook or know how. I got hurt bringing n groceries last May cause too heavy fir him n him so so slow. Surgery to fix my quad tear started even more down spiral. He just went completely far out that I get nothing. He’s ruined my house I had 36 yrs before him immaculately. He complains about money cause no paychecks from work but refuses get part-time job. I did go back for a while but coming home to him ended that. There’s so much I don’t want to bore you. I just want you to know you’re not alone n spirit. To me having spiritual life is great yet I need contact n socialization I had easily before. Finally I tried a senior community n was told too expensive and I’m too young fir most….I’m lost now n dejected. Live on East coast near Washington DC. Don’t know how to connect if you’d want since this is public site. Perhaps if we reply again I’ll share email if you ok w that. Reading your info helps I still know need to do something as well as talk.

        Adrienne

      4. Hi Patti. I can very much identify with your note. I am 63, have had some spine issues and very limited in my activities. Before this happened about 7 years ago I was traveling as a RN consultant in the medical field, I had a big circle of friends, children who loved and respected me, grandchildren, and a husband. Since my medical issues began I’ve not been able to do the things I used to, and my friends drifted away until there was no one left. They all loved me when I was entertaining, and when I was down – they lost interest in me as if I were bringing something negative to their lives because I had to spend so much time at home or in bed.

        My children used to think i was smart and contemporary, and I was always doing nice things for them like help them with money issues, babysitting, and making family dinners. Once I became unable to offer them anything, they began to treat me in a condescending manner, acting like my texts or calls were a bother and they just were gone as I had nothing to offer. Now they respond to anything I say like I am ridiculous, roll their eyes, tell me they do t have time for me, and say hateful things as if they are annoyed that I bother them. I’m amgry about that. They have take been happy to take all my money, but now that I have no money and can’t stand up long enough to make a meal. For thanksgiving coming up they are al coming to my house. I’ve told them it’s very hard for me to make a meal and that I can’t stand up for long, and not one of them offered to bring a dish, but they are bringing their families. I feel used. They talk about me like I’m a fool, often to my face, and they call only when they need something. They ask me to babysit even though, even though I can’t handle it for any length of time. They are very rude and condescending and disrespecful. If i say anything about their behavior I just get hateful responses.

        I have a husband, but he barely speaks to me and when he does, he says the same three sentences every day, has began making all the decisions without my input. He travels every week and takes female coworker out for meals and flirts, but of course lies to me, and for some reason I’m always made to feel like the jerk if I say anything about his lack of interest in me.

        Overall, it’s been very hurtful to discover I don’t have anyone who loves me enough to Include me in their lives when I have nothing to offer. Like you, I sometimes just want to end it. Am falling asleep but would love to know if you could use a pen pal. Maybe we could be that and help each other out. I’m going to send this before I fall asleep, but let me know if you’d like to write. Take care. Hope we can communicate and give each other someone to talk to. Take care, hope to talk soon.

      5. I read your letter. I understand how you feel. I have lost so much lately as well. My once in a lifetime dog Buddy died 3 years ago and I miss him every day. Losing him was harder than the death of my parents and brother. I just got a rescue senior dog whose owner had died. She was in a shelter for 9 months. She is so happy now and so happy when I come home. It has helped me immensely. Adopting a kitten if you like cats could help you as well. It was just my first thought for you.

      6. Hi friend,
        I, too, am 63 and in a loveless 34 yr old marriage. My husband is married to screens, and spends all his time away from work in front of them. Together, we have three grown sons who have gone on to make lives for themselves. Whilst the boys were young I spent all my energy and time focusing on being the best mom I could. My spouse was not a co-parent but enjoyed his solitude as he appears to do now. He earned the money and I did everything else, cook, clean, child rearing, yard work, etc. Now that my sons are grown and on their own I feel as if there is a huge void in my life. The spouse and I live in the same house but never communicate, ever. Everyday, I feel like I am going crazy from isolation, loneliness, despair and depression. There aren’t many options for me to try and bring joy into my life. Being able to chat with ppl my age in similar situations is a comfort, though.

      7. I am a 67 yr old woman. My husband of 30 yrs took his life16 yrs ago. He had severe bipolar disorder and in as much as he was the love of my life it was exhausting. I have no interest in going down that road again. I got a dog and 2 cats after he died and they saved me. I literally don’t know what I would have down without them. Of course they became my babies but that’s ok. I’ve now lost the dog and one of the cats but my last cat and I are hanging in there. Pets can be a blessing.

        I am recently retired and have moved from a city to a small town. I am living in my step-daughters remodeled garage. It has been a challenge with the move and settling in. The problem is there are no senior centers/ activities in this area and I’m talking about within 45 minute drive except those that are religious oriented which I am not intersted in. Its hard to develope friendships without some social outlet.

        I do alone fine. My life was so crazy with my husband that the peace and quiet are great. I can easily hermit down into my little apartment and let the world go by. But I don’t think that a great thing for me.

        I just found this website and feel for so many that write here. I know about depression and feeling as if everything is always focused on what “they” (husbands, boyfriends, kids etc, take your pick) need and want over yourself. The problem is there are no easy answers. Than God for the cat.

    3. I’m a recent widower myself – Lost her to Alzheimer 2 years ago and I feel strong enough to make one or two contacts out there.
      I’m Rodney Sulch, from Chiswick Illinois (born and raised) but moved to Canada for work (with the NATO organization). I’m flexible and won’t mind relocating for the right One.
      I’m just a traditional laid-back guy seeking He’s Other Half. A great Companion can sure be priceless.

      Reply to Rodney

      2. I k now how you feel I lost my husband in a terrible accident in april of 17 im so thankful my dogs lived I at least have them but it is not the same as having human companionship I feel soo lonely my family thinks I should spend my life alone live for me they say but they never come around or invite me to any activities I do not know what there reason is for that thinking

      3. If you would just like a friend for now, I think men in general, are more fun to be with than women although there are some good women friends out there (My best friend and I have been friends for decades and I love keeping in touch with her tho’ she’ s far away).

        Just a thought.

    4. I am a female and turning 62 in a few months. I have no family/friends anymore and feeling more alone than I have ever felt before. I wouldn’t mind finding some penpals/phone/text buddies. If interested in becoming friends please let me know!!!

      Reply to Karen

      5. Hi. I am a 65 year old woman and live alone. I feel lonely although I do have weekly conversations with my son. It would be nice to be in touch with you.
        Susan

      7. I am a young 70 year old man who stays active and busy. My girlfriend just died a few weeks ago and my greyhound just died on Sept 19, 2018. I have a servant’s heart but I am really lonely, a need some companionship and refuse to go on a dating site

        Alone in Ellenton, Fl My name is Chey

      8. Hello Karen, i have been thinking about penfriends for a while now, i was thinking of the old fashioned pen to paper sort.
        I live in England Uk, am 61 too.
        I have four adult children who have their own lives and so empty home as i am many years separated, oh and i have a dog that i adore.
        Karen, I won’t make a big thing of it, it would be just nice to get a letter like the old days, nan or grandad or penfriend, never get these anymore. Electronic has taken it.

      9. Hi Robert: so sorry to hear of your recent loses. Just thought I’d respond. I know how it is to feel alone. My name is Charlotte I live in New York.

      10. Greetings Pam writing to you from west central Indiana the Terre Haute area. My mother took het life at the age of 37. I was 7 then now 59 trust me when I state you feel like doing the same. Life is too short and it an or s9lve anything. My mother was a concerpianist. Drop me a line if you care to?

      11. I just turned 60 i wasnt blessed with a decent family of origin i divorced two abusive men.i raised classically selfish daughters of the its all about me generation Theyve been to jail addictions and one dropped her adhd fetal alcohol effected child on me with severe behavior problems and diappeared to do more drugs.Ive tried church and been to sereval i dont belong and frankly its the man show all over again .churches largely ignore older women.i have a number of serious health issues.I am introvert by nature but even introverts get lonely.I think aging in this day and age is for the birds .men around my age are jackasses who dont want an older women these old geezers want a 40 yr old.they had a shitty entitled attitude.and dont respect women only young and pretty need appy so i wait …i dont care about living anymore existing is more like it

      13. Susan, I too will be 62 in July, am married and also find it hard for to make new friends and get this….my name is Susan as well. I live in OH so not sure where your from but would love a pen pal.

      16. Karen – I just typed a whole reply to you but it disappeared so I’ll try again (tried to leave name, etc. but clicked myself away from my message.) I know how lonely you can feel when few if any, family and friends are not around. It seems to be harder to make good friends when you get older and I, for one, though I have many interests, don’t like doing things by myself only.

        Most people thrive best with a strong support system of caring family and friends, women especially need this. We are wired to be with men and family and to have some girlfriends and men friends in our lives. I know I miss my ex-family and the few family members I have are 3000 mi. away across the country. My only family is my daughter – we love each other dearly but truly do not have many interests in common. Thus, I do without.

      17. Hello Karen
        I came across your old message on Senior planet and was wondering how you are doing now in year 2020. If you want a pen pal email me

    5. Hi
      I live in Ontario, Canada and oh my I can so relate..I live in a very neglected marriage..in fact I have been living like this for years.
      I have two beautiful little grandchildren..
      I would very much like to meet people who also can relate and perhaps live close enough to meet for coffee.
      I’m 72..and so much lack attention..some compassion and just pure friendship.
      If you wish to contact me
      My name is Beth

      Reply to Beth

      1. So sorry for your loss. It surely magnifies the holiday blues. It makes me sad to see so many of us as we get older feel so alone. We all have a story but yet so many are similar. Holidays are very tough for me. As our children grow up they live in a me world. I hope my grand children do not hurt my own daughter as much as she has hurt me by shutting me out of her life. It would help to know what she shut me out for but I believe she is just unhappy her self and takes it out on me. I seem to have a good life on the outside but it is very lonely on the inside. Come on January help me get through this. Living in Florida should be wonderful but yet it’s so lonely.

      2. So sorry for your loss. It surely magnifies the holiday blues. It makes me sad to see so many of us as we get older feel so alone. We all have a story but yet so many are similar. Holidays are very tough for me. As our children grow up they live in a me world. I hope my grand children do not hurt my own daughter as much as she has hurt me by shutting me out of her life. It would help to know what she shut me out for but I believe she is just unhappy her self and takes it out on me. I seem to have a good life on the outside but it is very lonely on the inside. Come on January help me get through this. Living in Florida should be wonderful but yet it’s so lonely.

    6. I no the feeling im 62. Looken too meet a nice lady.im from ohio also i enjoy being.with. my.grandkids and my daughter and i also.enjoy the things u do i been divorce from my ex wife 2 year’s. Now. I know the feeling of being alone if it wasn’t for my grandkids i dont know what i would.do.im on.facebook if.u.would like too talk.

      Reply to Randy

    7. Hi, I read your profile. I’m a lonely married for 23 years female seeking friendship. I just want a friend whom I can vent to from time to time and will not use my kindheart. I’m from Charlotte, NC and just seeking a honest loyal friendship.

      Reply to Trina

    10. Hi, Anne I live in NW Arkansas–moved here alone sight unseen–lovely place to live but I find it hard to meet people. I am single, never married and no kids and I live alone. I have long term issues from a serious car accident and I am not as mobile as a lot of people my age. Basically estranged from all my brothers and sisters except for one brother and all my life long friends fell away due to moving, alcoholism ,whatever. Sometimes I feel I am drifting in outer space with no gravity. I have lots of hobbies and I can spend lots of time alone happily but do long for deep connections. I do have two friends here that I feel good about but want a wider network and it seems many come for a while and then don’t work out

      Reply to Anne B Baxter

    11. Hi Suzanne, also live in southern Ohio and just love to be friends. You may be wanting a younger person to be friends with but I’m 75 and still feel like I’m 25 but you know how that is, that only a mind thing but keeps me young at heart. Still married for 52 years but wife is not interested in me sexually anymore because of copd and colitis but just looking to chat and maybe lift someone up and become friends. If interested I have email and phone or FB. Bill

      Reply to Bill Smith

    1. I am going to be 65 in a few weeks. I have been disabled since I was 52 I am alone. a widow who had no children. I am alone, lonely , broken, sad and broke. I live pay check to pay check. I long to live some where a lot warmer than Michigan. I have been around death a lot in my life and taken care of four of my own family. Now I am afraid that I will die alone. What do I do?
      ..

      Reply to Lorraine L Ekholm

      1. Sorry about all your pain and losses I lost my first wife and went back home to take care of my mother for 18 years just lost her thus year 91 years old got married again last year lasted one year she left me .I’m in tenn trying to get back to Florida I’m 72 years old,would love to chat with you do you have a Facebook or e mail

      3. Hi Lorraine Was saddened by your story but after reading many of these notices, it seems our culture here in the U. S. is proned to abandon their own (family and friends). The Bible says it’s not good for a man to be alone (including women of course) but many people, including family especially, seem to grow colder and colder regarding their concern for others. I am quite alone now. My family support system is very weak (two bros’ and best friend are 3000 miles across the country) . People here are nice enough on the surface but stick to their own support systems like glue – older people don’t seem to be willing to “let you in” to their tight knit family and espec. friend “circles”.

  57. You may be interested in the results of an Older Bloggers Survey—I was. The friendships and social life in the world of older bloggers was their second most important reason for blogging, and was mentioned again and again in their comments. They may be virtual friendships but they are powerful and positive. Older people (like myself) seem to find blogging far more comfortable than other social media networks such as those on Facebook or Twitter or Pinterest. Lots of discussion here, if I’m permitted to include a link: https://writeintolife.com/the-older-bloggers-survey-2018/

    Reply to Rachel McAlpine

  58. All the lonely people. I need a new city or town to live out my senior years. Los Angeles and all California are too expensive for me now, even though I was born and raised here. I will have to leave all the past I know and start over. Are you living somewhere you love that is welcoming to new comers who are no longer young? Any suggestions for me? Thank you friends.

    Reply to Buck Eyecreek

      1. Gena….btw, I spent a few months in a mobile home park on the main road in Alamogordo in the 1970’s. As you said, it was low cost and low crime and didn’t see any snakes or scorpions as I was warned about. :)

    2. Buck Eyecreek, , I’ve actually been considering CA as I’m in need of cosmetic procedures and the best doctors for me all seem to be there. However, for now exploring the DE shore areas and want to meet fellow unlimited life extensionists there or considering spending any future time there.

      Reply to Sherry KNEPPER

    3. hello lonely lady i am a lonely widower living in a wonderful town in Arkansas in the beautiful Ozark mounts i am a very nice looking 77 yrs. young man i have a beautiful home big. you will love it hear i think i plan to be married in January but you will be welcome in my home until we can find you a place to live that you will like Jackie Smith Bentonville, Arkansas home of wall mart.

      Reply to Jackie Smith

    5. Hello, when I sell my house in rural Michigan I will move to Greensboro NC and have an apartment. It is not particularly expensive and there is a lot to do there. i am passing along my plan in case it suggests something to you as well.

      Reply to Su

    6. Hello Yvonne where do you live? I am 62 years old, living in Miami. I don’t know but lately I am feeling so lonely and alone.
      very worry. sometimes I need someone to talk.

      I would like to hear from you again.

      Martha T

      Hi Buck: Check Miami area, you may love this city if you love the sunshine and the ocean.
      If you look on Collins avenue or Ocean Drive in Miami is very expensive but you can find Comdominiuns in the same
      area one block distance to the beach with very good prices.
      I love Miami, I live nearby. I am 62 years old and still working. By the way, I am not a realtor.

      MT

      Reply to martha

  59. Hi
    I live alone in Portland , I moved here a year ago to be close to my son who promptly moved away.
    I have no one and I do get very lonely. My dog died 4 months ago, I keep busy but there are times when I just long for company. Im 73 and being old happened so fast
    Yvonne

    Reply to yvonne wuamett

      1. Hi Yvonne;
        Since I feel the same way you do, there might be some merit in exchanging emails?
        I live in So. California (Ventura), very lonely, but full of life. Would like to exchange ideas, maybe visit each other?
        I usually spend the month of May and October in the Olympic Peninsula, renting a lake house.
        I am in my seventies. Ursula

    2. Yvonne, my name is Bill and I will chat with you anytime. I’m married but need a womans friendship. I’m on most medias, email Phone messinger and Fb. Would love to hear from you sometime , I’m a young 75 yo. I live in southern Ohio.

      Reply to Bill Smith

  60. Hi, I’m 60 years old with a 16 yr old only child! Moved out of NYC after retiring 5 yrs ago. I live in Fayetteville NC now. Worked as a teacher for 31 years and I am a single Mom. Obviously my child is now at an age of impending independence, so I have been on the lonely side of things. I don’t know if I’m looking for a relationship so much as friendship with a guy. Definitely not looking for marriage! Dating sites are awkward as you don’t write in your profile “ love long walks , but oh yeah, can’t really do it anymore.” Physical limitations catch up with us all, some sooner than others. But I still like to vacation, go out, etc. Just “with who? ” is the issue.
    If you’re close by and want to meet for coffee, let me know.

    Reply to Margaret

  61. I’m 64. I have health issues so that I’m not always able to be out and about. If I go grocery shopping once a week it’s a big deal. Sometimes I can manage to go to the movies but it’s just not the same going alone. I try to keep my mind sharp; I’m an avid reader, a writer and a beta reader. I have online friends, but nothing replaces being able to actually be with someone and hear their voice and look into their eyes, and have a good laugh together.

    I feel pathetic at times because loneliness strikes randomly. I’m not sure where to go from here. I can’t do more than what I’m doing now, physically. So how do I meet people?

    Reply to Debbie

    1. Hi Debbie
      I’m almost 68 years old I’ve lost my husband recently. We had been married for 46 years. I have two children and three grandchildren but they don’t bother very much( I’ve only seen my son once this year.
      Everything I need to do is overwhelmingly difficult because I too struggle with a chronic back problem.
      Iwould love to be able to talk to y more if that’s what you want. Not sure who can see this so don’t knohow to go about this.
      Anyway it’s even nice to share a little bit.
      Hope you will maybe talk to me again.
      I enjoy reading and talking on phone to friends and going out as much as I am able.
      I hope we can speak again
      Ann

      Reply to Ann Garrard

      1. Ann,
        I currently, perhaps temporarily, live in West Palm Beach, FL. My husband left and lives with another woman .

        I seem to have so much in common with Debbie and you.
        It would be nice to speak.
        Shirley Piazza

      2. I’m 62 and live in Port St. Lucie Florida. My grown children moved out of state. My husband works very long hours and I’m so lonely too. Can’t afford to retire yet. We moved to a new neighborhood months ago and everyone keeps to themselves and it’s so quiet. I’m going out of my mind daily trying to figure out how to get out of here.

      5. Hi Ann Garrard and everyone! Hope you all are hanging in there. I too am very disabled from a orthopedic spine problem. but am able to exercise, sit a little, stand a little if I don’t stand still and can sometimes walk over 30 minutes, IF I haven’t strained my back lately. Looking forward to the anti-aging stuff that’s now in the experimental stages. It may be able to help with our back and many other problems with aging. You know what they’re saying?! — that almost all diseases and conditions are caused by aging — some even before we’re born! I’m sure a lot of you guys have heard of telomeres, an aging marker. They say we all lose 1/3 of them when we’re born! So the anti aging may help children and the unborn.

      7. Hi Debbie,

        I am 64 and struggle with back problems and a scoliosis also. I would like to meet someone and get married again but I find men do not want to marry again.
        Anyone have any ideas I live in WI…

        Gina

    2. Hi, I am 73 years old and am divorced after 28 years being marriage. I lost a lot due to divorce and getting ripped off by contractors who were supposed to fix a home I purchased. I don’t have much money. He got most of our things. I am now living in the state I was divorced in, which is the same state we were married in. I left him and filed for divorce five years ago. I am now regretting the divorce. We still talk, but he says he doesn’t want us to be a couple again. I have no family for friends here, I have only been back here for one month. I am so lonely I can hardly stand it. I can’t get pass leaving him and filing for divorce. I want him back, but don’t think that will happen. I live in Henderson Nevada and need to find some sort of help. Maybe a good friend also. Anyone have any ideas?

      Reply to Gracie

      1. Gracie, I’m not anywhere near Nevada, but if you can get to the point where you don’t want to be with a guy who doesn’t want to be with you, it may help but I don’t know why he doesn’t want to be with you so I’m kind of lost when it comes to helping with this issue. As for just being alone, if you’ve seen my other posts on here, you know I hate the idea of being alone, especially living alone.

      2. Gracie don’t regret the divorce. I am sure you had good reasons at the time. Being alone at an older age is hard well after a divorce it is hard at any age. I think sometimes it is easier to look back at the relationship and try to gleam something good in it than to hope for the possibility of a good relationship in the future.

        Being an older women is not for the weak. With the ratio of women to men being uneven as we age I think we have the right to be concerned but not necessarily hopeless. There is a site called Meetup. It is not a singles site but an interest site where people can get together and do things like movies, crafting whatever. There is not cost to sign up other than what the event might cost. They have groups all over the world. I go to a couple different groups.

    3. That’s how my children treat me to after my husband passed away in2013! I have no one plus I never learned to drive so I go out once a month to get meds and food! I am looking for friends to talk to and smile with I have not smiled in years

      Reply to Jamie lee

      1. I am 78. And alone. Ex with another woman. 54 yr old daughter living w me now. But with her work I get left far behind. I have serious back pain and frontal lobe brain atrophy. I am purely miserable. Hardly can go out much. Discouraged. Guess all I have is God. /Pat

      2. Hi, I am sorry for the loss of your husband. My mama never got a license until her hubby passed, she got car and licenses after 50

      3. I’m not sure if we’re replying to me or not! I was in a car accident when I was 16 when I get in the driver’s seat of a car all I see is the red 18 wheeler coming at us, I wasn’t the driver! And I see the jaws of life cutting me out of the car. At 55 I have never forgot those images I don’t like to ride sometimes and with new drivers and people it’s not a safe feeling at all!?

      4. I am also in need of people to have conservations with – I’m widowed and elderly – in good health, active – still drive but just live alone and only have TV for companion – not interested in dating – just a friend

      5. I need someone like you in my life! I’m 55 widow and can’t do much after having 2 back surgeries and 2 neck surgeries! I need a friend! I’m miserable liveing with my sister how verbally abused me all the time.

      6. Hi Jamie Lee. Would love to chat with you. I’m married but you can never have too many friends. I love to listen and sometimes give a little advice. I’ve been married 52 years but very lonely with wife being sickly. I’m a young 75 yo. Don’t know how old you are but if you need a smile or someone to console you then I’m your man. Have email, phone or messinger. Bill

    4. Hi all,
      I’m a 58 year old woman who lives alone in N.Y. I have been divorced for many years. I have tried different dating sites, but nothing has worked out for me. I’m wondering if there are men and women who live close by who would like to get together for coffee, lunch, whatever. Thanks

      Reply to Debi

      1. Hi Debi – I’m in my 60’s and recently retired. I have 2 children, but do not see them often – though they live in the state. I live on Long Island. Where in NY are you? If fairly local, I’d like to meet for cup of coffee or lunch. What do you say? I am looking to make new friends – it’s very hard to make friends at this age – btw I have been divorced for over 10 yrs so I am single.

      2. Hi Lisa…….Im on Long Island also, Im 63 and divorced now for 12 years. I hate living alone. I have 2 daughters and thats about it. Im at a point in my life where I feel stuck and dont know what to do . Im feeling depressed about everything in my life. If you want to meet up for lunch etc …. let me know. Im in Suffolk co. :) Carrie

      3. Hi I’m in NYC and NJ but stuck up in the boonies near Cornell U in Ithaca. I’m trying to sell my house to get back to civilization down the shore. I haven’t had good pizza in 10 years. My husband left me and my mother was buried yesterday. I have never been so scared. My rescue dogs, cat & turtle keep me alive.

      4. Hello Maureen, I am 54 in phx az. My 1st time on this site or any site announcing the emptiness inside. I didn’t say how old you were but all the same I’m sorry you lost your mom. Has been over 18 years and I still wake myself up at night shouting for her. But what really caught me about your comments but the fact that the dogs cat Turtle keep you going ever me also is my dog three cats that adopted me and my hundred fifty pound tortoise who has is on the fork to eat with yes I said Fork then he doesn’t pick it up he expect you to hand it to him. As I sit here right now my little dog he’s been having a hard time breathing for 3 days now the vet on Friday take him some antibiotics it’s only come back in a week but I couldn’t wait a week cuz he’s breathing like 90 breath in a minute. It took him back in today we did blood work some of the test will be back tomorrow. The vet thinking valley fever I’m thinking congestive heart failure but I’m hoping not these tests were mainly roll out valley fever and tick fever. But I just had to get back with you but I was reading and saw that the cats and the dogs and turtle keep you going. But hey you’re from New York-New Jersey area you’re tough a bit and you’ll be okay

      5. Sue – Is your dog okay ? I so hope so as I know I panic every time my little angel coughs or throws up or something. I pray your little friend is all right.
        So funny about your huge tortoise !! And I thought I was weird having guinea pigs – I love the way they “Wheeek, wheeek,” at me ( but only if I wait too long to feed them.)

      6. I’m sorry for the loss of your Mom – it is like no other loss. I, too, have just my sweet dog and two funny guinea pigs for company and find they are more attentive to me than most people have ever been – unfortunate state of the world today !

      7. This I think is for Maureen. Don’t understand my computer. Writing to say I fear losing my husband and mother every day. We are all disabled to some extent, all in different ways. None of us are able to do much physical work. I’m probably the healthiest of the 3 of us. Mom and my husband are not actually ill but husband says he has no energy due to fatty liver and he’s hunched over and won’t go to a doctor to find out why. He does need a shoulder replacement, which he doesn’t want to get and I doubt it’s a matter of life and death. Mom is in good shape for her age, as she looks very young for her age (she had a little cosmetic surgery many years ago), and drives a Ford Expedition, which takes some strength to get in and out of. But any time, there could be bad news and I worry. We are all life-extensionists but we are not all that disciplined with the lifestyle. (Look up “longevity escape velocity” for more about life extension.) AND do far there is NO real anti-aging available! I have no children, no siblings, no local family, no local friends, just a small family in South Carolina, who I see yearly, and just a clan on father’s side who I talk with but haven’t seen since the 1980’s. I do not drive and don’t want to. Maybe I will never need to because self driving vehicles may be available in a few years. Again, scared every day. My goal is to have a community home for life extensionists, which of course would be a very positive environment, or at least have extra positivism because everyone believes anything is possible nowadays with life extension. Right now I’m in Pennsylvania but hoping to move to either Myrtle Beach or Charleston, SC asap. I do not want to live alone because all my loved ones died off!

      8. Hi Sherry,

        My name is Nicole I live in Greenville S.C.I am 38 year old woman with a beautiful 3 year old daughter. I realize I am not a senior obviously but I too am very lonely. I am an only child with no real family or support system either only a young child who depends on me. I am in a very bad marriage of 6 years. I have been a stay at home mom since she was born and I just recently went back to work part time. I was forced to leave home young and made my living in the restaurant industry so that is what I went back to. I am very scared because I don’t have the means to support my child on my own and leave my husband unless I work 2 jobs to keep afloat which obviously leaves my young daughter in the lurch. I had planned on just sucking it up and staying with my husband despite his sexual dysfunction and emotional abuse. So that I could home school my child and educate with good Christian values and the idea of throwing her in public schools these days terrifies me I am sure being from your generation you can understand why. Unfortunately I now realize that to be impossible as I am married to a man who does not behave in a Christian way at all which I imagine will make it very hard to achieve that.
        A few months ago I suffered a violent miscarriage that lasted for about 3 months. During that time my husband began cheating, drinking excessively, all while continuing to verbally and emotionally abuse me. Now he threatens me every day with leaving me and my child homeless and says he doesn’t care what happens to either of us. Last night was the worst he tried to find his gun which I hid threating to kill himself while my child was scared and crying. At a minimum I could use someone to talk to. But my ultimate goal here is to find someone who needs companionship, help around the house, and someone to ultimately take care of them in the twilight of their life so they won’t have to face being alone sick and forgotten with no one to care for them. In exchange I am looking for companionship, hopefully blooming into a surrogate mother daughter type of situation, and a home that is safe, calm, and godly to allow me and my daughter a safe haven while I find a way to support us without working 80 hours a week. I am saving up the money to get my real estate license but even after I get it will take me a year or two to become financially solvent enough for us to live alone. I am not looking for a sitter for her I have that worked out. I just need a safe, secure, home environment for us both. Also I am not interested in dating or anything of the kind just raising my daughter so no worries of strange people coming around etc. I don’t drink, I am clean, responsible, and kind. My mother is still living but doesn’t offer much in the way of emotional support and won’t allow us to stay with her even for a little while so I can get on my feet financially I have begged and the answer is still no.
        Maybe we could chat and learn more about each other. Perhaps if we found we would be good companions we could help one another of a bad situation.

      9. Hi Debi,

        Like you and many others, I’ve realized that I should develop new relationships with other mature singles, who live within, at least, driving distance of where I am located (NYC) and have some common interests. I’m single, live in and work in NYC, don’t smoke nor drink alcohol [just my personal preference], and prefer being outdoors. After reading your post and those of others women on this site, who live in/near NYC, I thought to propose a casual meetup. You and anyone other woman, who is looking to meet new potential friends in the NYC area – let’s meet me at Central Park this Saturday (July 14th) at Noon. For our first ‘new friend’ meetup, let’s keep it to women only then we can decide way-forward after we meet. Right now, you can’t miss me as I have a boot cast and crutches – these are temporary due to an accident. Normally, I’m very active and enjoy the outdoors (biking, hiking, walking, volleyball, exploring, etc.); however, for the next few months, I’ll have to settle for shorter walks and/or relaxing on a blanket in Central Park – hopefully, with some new friends. So, if meeting in Central Park this Saturday (July 14th) at Noon appeals to you or anyone else reading this, let’s meet at the Fifth Avenue & 86th Street entrance to Central Park. We can then find a spot in the Park. If you decide to come, bring something to sit on, a beverage, and snack for yourself. We can relax and just talk. Should it get too hot or rain, we can find a nearby alternate (e.g. go into the Metropolitan Museum of Art or other). The more the merrier. For those of you not near NYC, may I suggest that one of you take the lead in your area and post details for a very casual ‘getting to know you new friends’ meetup in your area. First steps are always hard but they usually lead to great things! All my best, Grace

      10. Hi Grace,
        I was wondering if your “meetup” on July 14th, 2018, in Central Park, was a success. If you get this, please let me know. I live in Hackettstown, NJ, about an hour from NYC. If you have a group I would love to join!!
        Janet

      11. Hi Grace,
        I am so happy to have found this website. I hope your “get together” yesterday went well. I live about an hour from NYC, in Hackettstown, NJ. If you have a group I would love to be a part of it. If you can, please let me know.
        Thanks,
        Janet

      12. i was in the same situation when i was in my twenties. im in my sixties right now . the best thing i ever did was to get out. dont ever allow anyone to abuse you and your child .

    5. Hello all. Senior centers. Friendly visitors. Social workers. Volunteer. You have to leave the house. Or else find someone to invite in. Do something. You really can make a small effort every day. It requires you do something. Different.

      Reply to Lisa

    6. I am also a widow — with no family, not a single cent to spend after paying the monthly bills (gas is rationed here!), a free-and-clear thankfully home in a town of 400 that has not one single business (not even a bar or grocery store), and no work/friend support system. I’ve gotten over my disappointment that a lifetime of monthly savings was spent on cancer treatments for my husband, who was a contractor and who during the 2008 meltdown, had to cancel his privately held company’s life and health insurance. My company was separate and I had those insurances through it. He didn’t want to worry me and we’d both been so healthy, he figured..he’d get it back soon. After all, he had paid for those items also for a lifetime.

      We moved to a small town to rehab this home — cosmetic needs and now, rats, a roof — and months later, he was diagnosed. I shut down my business to take care of him at home.

      Whenhe died, I was left standing there alone and broke. And then I discovered that neighbor wives don’t appreciate the widow asking their husbands for help. I understand. And I discovered that socializing costs money. I scrounge for groceries. I quit playing tennis. I quit a church bible study group. Why? I could not afford them. I was asked to lunch/dinner but when I cannot afford restaurant food, people start to pay and I do not want them to do so. I lived a life previously where I had plenty of money.. this is a new experience. I have a great resume but now I’m 66. I keep sending it out. Not one bite …and I have to keep in mind the distance to drive as my vehicle is now aged.

      But those things I can handle. What I’m having trouble with is planning for health problems. I do not know the prices of ambulances or hospitals but I know I cannot afford them at all. Safety is on my mind. What if someting happens here at home and I need help? What if I need the care my husband needed? What if I’m driving rural and I don’t make it home? Who will notice?

      I had a flat tire not long ago. I couldn’t get the lug nuts off the SUV. I ended up walking 6 miles to town. I’m glad I have my health to do that. But…it was a wake-up call. Another time I had a problem with one eye and had to get to town (20 miles) to get something for it. I could not close it. My other eye had bad sight; I used contact lense only on the other eye. No glasses. I drove very slowly to town on gravel road, after calling two people to see if I could get help. They were out of town. Two others…well, I was watering their plants as they were with family out of town. I was proud that I did it but again… a wake up call.

      I want very much to refuse ambulance/medical service if something happens as I don’t want to live alone afterward and worry about bankruptcy or creditors. Good grief. I have only hospitalization for Medicare. I really wish I knew of safety solutions….and I’m perfectly content dying .. I truly do not get bummed out at that. I just want it to be painfless and fast. I sometimes wish I was able to know of an off-button so in the case of a health issue, no medical…just push off button I’d actually find comfort in that!

      I go weeks and months without using my voice or being with another human. It’s funny how I’ve moved from totally weirded out by the silence of this new world — after a life filled with way too much busy and people — to accepting it. It’s not the best, I know. I do miss the fun things we did…camping, backpacking, ATV’s, hunting in the back country. I dream about it!

      But it is what it is. LIfe is now a matter of acceptance. What would really comfort me though is knowing how to deal with safety issues — with no money to pay for the support others usually get to deal with such topics. That’s what I want to know. Anyone able to help with ideas? Safety when away from home and when I don’t return… Safety if something happens to me at home and no one is around to provide help. Safety if I have an illness and want to die rather than have treatment — and no rolling eyes. or pressure to change my mind. Safety. That’s what I fret about.

      Reply to NWlady

      1. Hi – I just want to say how much I relate to you. I’m 63, but started realizing how alone I am in my early 50s. At that time I was having a lot of cluster “headache” (clusters are tortuous pain, much worse than what tend to be called headaches or even migraines). I was far from any hospital. I don’t know if there’s anything lonelier than being alone for hours & days in pain, or the fear of it, & feeling like no one really gets that, or cares. At the time I was in a relationship with a guy in Wa. State but caring for me beyond a point was beyond his emotional range.

        Now it’s over a decade later. My parents are gone & my brother has pretty much abandoned me. I had moved to the West coast from the East in 1990, so have lost ties with older friends, other than sort of superficial contact on Facebook. The chosen family that replaced my family of origin has all died or left this area in the last ten years. I have a couple of friends left & try not to lean on them too much. But whenever anything happens for which I need help, I sort of sigh & steel myself to walk next door & ask for help, apologizing all the time.

        One of things I want to say, & that occurred to me when I read your message was, “What has happened to this world?” Why are people so cold & uncaring toward others? I had a sort of spiritual awakening around mid-life & realized how much richer life is when I am awake to where I can be of use & service. But I feel surrounded by people who are all about their own little family units, who don’t seem to think of the world as a community.

        I live in the middle of a big city (San Diego) that is overrun by younger people who come here for school, partying, the social scene. I used to be a sort of big deal on the local poetry scene but my collaborators & supporters have died or left. Young people tend to be disinterested in what an older woman who has lost her looks has to say. I get out there & attempt to meet people. I volunteer at a place that helps sick people get their laundry done & get food a few times a week. When CL still had “platonic” personal ads I met a woman through that but she has faded as my life became so difficult in the last year or so & I had to keep saying I couldn’t do stuff with her. I don’t know what the answer is, other than continuing to try & meet people. I think of all the opportunities I had when I was younger – stuff that just seemed to fall into my lap. Now yers pass & nothing happens. It’s so hard to re-establish a social life when you are older. I wish there were communities for people with similar interests (political, social, creative) to support each other – more than just online. Anyway, a sincere best to all.

    7. I am also very lonely, I am a young 73 and before I had my illness, M.E/CFS I was out and about socializing with people who I believed were friends, I soon found out that they nor my family were in the least bit interested about my illness.
      I have bought myself a mobility scooter so that I can get out and about on good days. As I write I am stopping myself from crying because I am lonely.
      They say, join a group! there are no groups where I live.
      I would do anything to have a genuine friend who I could visit and vice versa.

      Reply to kath Lawton

      1. I too am 65 and am blessed to have some clients (I now only consult). I no longer worry about the ambulance, I simply don’t go because they cost 650 dollars. My situation is that since i’ve moved to the southwest to escape the cold, I have no friends, and believe me, I’ve tried I am planning to move to southern cal in a hud senior home within 2 years and that seems like an eternity living around people that don’t get me I haven’t had any neighbors invite me to their apartments since November, even for a cup of coffee. My lease is up in November and I’m considering moving back East to be near my friends until California has a placement for me

        My mom told me as she was waiting to die in rehab to not go that route. She fell and had temporary paralysis and had that alarm around her neck and called for help Her life became a nightmare in rehab ( a very expensive one with a great reputation) and she made me promise that if I fall as a senior, get up if i can and if not wait for god because it’s a short wait (she was a nurse and lived til 93). I think she gave me good advice because I am tired of reaching out to people who are to scared to have me over because they think I want their husbands Never did that in high school or any part of my life. My sig other and I were getting ready to get back together in May – he was very healthy and died suddenly. He was my rock through all of life’s happenings and was there for me emotionally w.hen my parents died. I miss his emails and the loss of reuniting with him is huge.
        So I guess my question is due I “cowboy up” and go back to freezing cold where my friends are, or stay here in isolation

      3. kath Lawton:
        wish you lived close by I’m in magnum ok and 62 and alone no kids, own home quiet life would love to meet and chat for lunch with someone…in great health no problems …take care maryanne

    8. Hi, where are you located?

      My mother is around the same age as you and would love to meet new people and make new friendships. She Too has some health issues but would love to meet someone she can speak to and meet up with etc

      Reply to Kellt

    9. Debbie I am in your shoes and 61 with Chronic Immune Disorder and several other medical issues that complicate it. Like you shopping is a big deal or just doing laundry. I try not to mess my house because I know I will have a cluttered one or dirty one to live in because I just can’t clean it. Getting to the shower some days is a big deal. Today I got up at 5pm after taking meds twice in bed, I finally was driven to get up because of pelvic pain from laying down. All this because I went out to do laundry yesterday, thats it. I am now facing being alone and living alone for the rest of my life with a progressing medical issues situation. What do we do Sis? I feel your pain, I really do, but I just don’t know what we can do about it. Sometimes I think there isn’t enough ‘goodness’ left in me to offer anyone. Who would want to have someone that can’t be counted on FOR ANYTHING. I never know what I am going to be able to make a show I have prepaid for or even shower some days until afternoon or later. God help us girl, God help us. (((hugs)))

      Reply to Vicki

    10. Debbie:

      I live in magnum ok are you near me at all…I’m 62, alone and healthy great shape but no one no kids, parents in Biloxi have a good time… I own a house and would love to either get a roommate or work babysitting to make a few extra bucks to go see some of the cities around me…Amarillo, tulsa, dallas great cities…

      Reply to maryanne butler

  62. I too am feeling very lonely and disconnected from everyone. I would like to have someone that I can talk with, laugh with and be supportive in the time of need. I feel like I’m stuck!!!!

    Reply to Charlene

    1. Charlene, I feel the exact same way. It hurts, it really does. So much more. Have no way of knowing what to do. If you have found a solution please let me know. 64 yes old and never, ever did I think I would be this lonely. Andrea

      Reply to Andrea brown

      3. Hello Bonnie
        I am 71 , married, but we are now on different paths ,I never ever felt I would feel lonely, but I do , my son and daughter ,are very good but have their own lives to lead, and the last thing they need is a”needy” mum.
        I love to have fun, laugh .in good company, share meals out, and theatre trips.
        I realised that if I don’t get a grip and reach out, I am going to become a shrivelled prune.and perhaps a recluse”!!!!!oh shudder!!!!!
        So perhaps as you Bonny and I all feel the same , perhaps we could all become friends. and who knows , we will never feel lonely again .
        What do you think girls ??

      4. It’s all consuming. 69 years old, wanted a happy marriage to one person, but he had other plans. That lasted 25 years. Have three beautiful kids and four amazing grandchildren. Remarried someone I respected and trusted, He turned out to be a narcissist. That lasted 17 years. He left me on the day my son in law died from a brain tumor. He was having an affair with an old flame whose husband was in hospice dying from ALS. Ya can’t make this stuff up.
        Two years after that divorce I started seeing someone I graduated high school with. Turns out his married female best friend, 18 years younger, is more important than the loving, meaningful relationship I thought we had. I had a difficult time with him taking her to the movies, lunch and just hanging out. So he left me after 2 years. He thought I was unreasonable. This happened today, so I’m hurting once again and venting! Thank you to anyone who reads this and can relate.

      7. How do I join this group? I’m almost 70, in great health, but more or less a recluse. I’m an artist and a Pomeranian small dog breeder. I need a lady around my age to live with me, do arts and crafts with, and someone who loves lots of tiny dogs to play with. I live in FL.

      9. And I thought I was the only one. I am 71, with severe chronic pain, so I don’t get out much. If I could I would certainly do volunteer work but, alas, not to be. I am married, have 2 sons, who make courtesy phone calls. In fact, one lives 2 blocks from me with 4 little grandchildren I would dearly love to see. Not to be – his wife wants no part of me and my son visits with the little ones every 2 weeks for 2 hours max and now he is moving away. I doubt I will ever see either of my sons again in this lifetime. My husband who is in great shape with my encouragement has made friends and visits them often, passing at least 2 full days a week with them and when he is with me he spends entire days, from sun-up to sundown outside tinkering with all his toys. I feel discouraged, abandoned, lonely. I would volunteer or at least try but he demands that when he is here or is outside ignoring me that I be in the house. I had a good career, I was busy, spent a lot of time with my elderly mother. I have no brothers or sisters and have lost all my friends along the way, partly because of the agonizing pain no one seems to even want to talk about – family, doctors…. no one.

        And so I know how it feels. I have a lot more the say but no one to share it with. Maybe we could start chatting, learning about each other, and progress to a genuine friendship leading to more positive outlooks knowing their is 1 friend out there willing to talk of whatever and we could start putting some kind of positives in our lives, each leaning our each other to make us see out others or start doing things… who knows… maybe some day even meeting…. I reach out to you as you reach out

        Who knows maybe there is some light out there. I wanted to kill myself yesterday but when I read your post I thought – there is someone out there in my very shows. We could try in each our own way to find happiness and rid ourselves of this loliness….. just maybe

      10. Maddy and all, I am glad you did not kill yourself, Maddy. People don’t know that a better existence is coming. Those who don’t about me think I’m speaking of God, but not really, although this could come purely from God and through technology. If enough research is done, you’ll find the experts are saying what I am, and in fact it’s through research on life extension and futurism that I know this. Most experts are saying within 10 years, we will have greatly expanded life extension through medical control, so vast that it will seem as though we have no maximum lifespan! So it will not be just a continuation of what we’ve always had but so much more. And if we avoid accidents and don’t have an “existential” type of event to end humanity, we may be able to live who knows how long.

      11. Clara I’m in same boat… 4 children who don’t ever bother calling. I’m 61 and just recently became disabled… I don’t even have transportation… So lonely don’t know why I’m still around

      12. you know I know what you mean I have the same situation for my kids but however we could get together and we could be happy and the feeling of love that we will have between us flowing in each other’s bodies I would love you care for you and be there and never leaves you I’m 69 but I look 45

      13. Being ignored by ur children sux, I know I am a divorced 61 year old man, Still active as a 30 year old,And I can’t seem to get close to my three kids, My twin girls are 30 and my son is 24. My two girls have found their place in life,And my son,Who knows ? Maybe he’s jealous because his mother and I divorced six years ago.
        All she did was go out on weekends and party until the wee hours of the am,W/guys and my niece (she created
        all of my hard feelings toward my ex-wife) Anyway I know what it feels like to be alone ! That’s y I am looking for a new home back in Fla. That’s where I belong, I never had any problems there,I was there for approximatly 25 years on and off,W/never any problems w/anyone
        years I hope soon to get back to Fla. and start over again Thanx for reading this, I will survive ! JDR from NY Burbs

      14. James,

        I am a 63 year old widow. I have family (a son) but only hear from them if they need anything. They, are always on the go and my son is not allowed to contact me, unless they need something.

        I have helped them alot financially and have done alot of baby sitting. I have lived in Florida (Coral Springs) for over 25 years, it gets very lonely and the few friends I have don’t ever want to do anything.

        Basically, my family would like me to die so they could sell my house and travel.

        Contact me if you would like to.

      15. Me too Clara. My entire adult life has been terribly difficult. I moved closer to my one son and his kids but never hear from them unless I initiate contact. In a bad relationship with a man who does not live with me, but have been together for years. We are not intimate any longer and he blames me. I want a commitment and am trying to follow what the Lord wants. I am tired of being emotionally neglected and starved for affection. I blame him. So tired of being alone. I moved to a small town from the city also so socializing isn’t an option. Love to all the ladies on here. We all deserve so much more than poverty, loneliness and disrespect.

      16. Hello you are still young and it is good to enjoy the good things in life, just like walking next to the beach, massage talk and laugh. I am a 56 year old widow without kids and would like to meet you, I can talk, listen to and share a friendship.

      1. Hi Andrea
        My name is Paul . I am 60 yrs old . I have 3 children. I was a single parent. My ex wife l eft then when my youngest daugher was 3 yrs old. Now they are full grown and married. Now I live all alone and I’m trying to look for friendship . Or someone to chat with everyday. I’m a retired Chef for 40 yrs. Sometimes it gets frustrating being all alone.

      1. Hi Mariana-
        I joined a few meet-ups, but they don’t seem to have enough events. I live in Manteca, CA sbout an hour or so from you.
        I am 67 years old. My 65 year old husband left me on May 9th to live with a 75-year old woman he met on a dating site at the end of March. I am going through separation and will be filing for divorce hopefully soon so I can go on with my life. I love dancing of all types. I am looking for women to go out karaoeking & dancing with, movies, musicals, traveling, dining, etc.

      2. Yes, there are meetup groups in the twin cities are full of women. We all may need to look at men and women once again sharing rental homes together. (we did in college)
        The meetup groups in the twin cities are boring. I want , specifically, now that I cannot find what I want, a person or person to relocate with me to a retirement community ON A COLLEGE CMAPUS. There are 5 in the usa, where residents mingle intergenerationally and take classes on campus, use facilities…and I do not mean THE LIFELONG LEARNING PROGRAM that is in most cities where you drive in to universities for , once again ,boring presentaitons
        When we had ballrooms and many dance halls in the twin cities with thems, it was real nice.
        My retirement as a professional ed. is boring but it does not seem to be boring overseas?.

        Good Luck and stay in touch. Nan

      3. Wow, I go to OLLI in my areas also.
        I thought that it would be more interaction with seniors and making friends more easily. Most are interesting enough to share current topics. Can be fearful of themselves or afraid of making new friends.
        The topics have been good though. wish there was a better dynamic for us seniors that are still vibrant , young and wishing to share conversations without any walls or barriers.

    4. Hello Anne, my story is very similar to yours, lost my dear hubby 5 years ago, 46 years married when he passed… i’m like you … i’d like to do more but have sore feet and cant walk that much .. cant do a great deal, you can talk to me whenever you like, it would be nice if you lived in Perth, i do have “friends,”but not always interested in me and i have 3 children and 7 beautiful grandies… they are very good to me and i baby sit one or the other during the week.
      I’d love to chat with you sometimes , need more adult interaction, not looking for a man, at this stage of my life i nearly need to be looked after never mind having an old man to pick up after or cook for etc…. anyway, keep well and hope to hear from you
      Regards

      Gina

      Reply to Gina Savietto

    5. I in some way feel your pain. I absolutely hate this article with a strong passion. The author tried making a standpoint that “15 million people under 65 years old” made the choice of living alone. Either you’re ignorant or it is 5x in me for not reading the rest, because that’s only natural. You are trying to justify a shocking number of 15m people not wanting to be married (again) as a statistic? You have no underlying results, and the quantifiable analysis on the wide margin of an age group is bogus. You are rallying people without relationships, with short term relationships, mid term relationships, long term relationships, people with loved ones who passed away, and everything inbetween. You are a joke and you’r publication is not researched. End results to all who read this, be happy, find what makes you happy, and pursue it (as long as it is violent) and make sure you treat everyone as you want to be treated, in a friendly manner. At the end of the day, you’ll never know what nice comment you gave someone that they’ve thought about until they went to bed.

      Reply to Clay

      2. Wow are you serious? That would be my dream come true! I would love to leave Georgia! I would not be able to get there because I have never driven a car at all and I will not get on a plane! I’ll check back to see if you answer back! My God bless you every day. Faith, belief, love of God my have answered my prayers! What do you enjoy doing! Are you a Christian?

  63. My name is Rachel.Im 63 years young and refused to let a number to determine my feelings. I’m a happy-go-lucky girl and I love to travel and I love to eat different kinds of foods I’m looking forward to a 15 day road trip with a sweet little friend of mine who was my neighbor 35 years ago I’m reaching out and I’m trying to do things I’ve never done before and now that I’m no longer married after many years I’m ready to go and have a good time. Come on girls and boys let’s begin to live let’s don’t sit here and wait to die alone get out have a good time get a job.
    I hope I have said something to encourage you to get up and To Live and Let Live have a ball.

    Reply to Rachel

    1. Thanks for these open, honest comments. I’m 62 and don’t have any real family or friends to speak off. No children, lots of moving and unexpected traumatic events. I’ve put a small little life together but can’t imagine how to make new friends & connections. I don’t seem to have much in common. Lived a very different kind of life. But the loneliness gets to me after too many days & weeks by myself.

      Reply to Rachel Cozart

      2. I am in the exact same boat. I have learned that a domestic partner was the way to go for me. No kids. Then, she passed almost 2 years ago. I think that my reason why no legal marriage had to do with my upbringing. Our attachment style is formed early in our lives, between us and influential caregivers. I have no regrets exept the cancer part. Best.

      3. Hi Sherry
        I am just the opposite have to many kids and would like to get away from them all .. So count yourself lucky.
        I to am lonely and looking for some friends my age to hang out with . I raised 3 of my own children and adopted 6 more so I have been busy raising them now they are grown and expect me to keep raising them the youngest is now 23 my oldest is 51 . Time for me to live my life. My dear friend since high school always said we would
        travel when everyone grew up we are now 71 and she is still working. Plus she is in pain and can’t even manage
        to go out to dinner after working at the office . I live in northern Illinois and seriously thinking of selling my house
        and leaving the country.. I have my heart set on Nova Scotia I have not been there yet. But keep studying everything about it . I plan to go in June and check it out.

      5. My name is Terry hi Sherri I’m with you had 1 child but ended up raising many. I’ve been a caregiver my whole life. Just want to talk go places but I have no money. I would just be glad to have someone to go to movies or out to eat. I’m way back in country .Gets so lonely

      6. I’m looking for a warm climate not a cold one but I hope you like Nova Scotia if you move there. I have never wanted children, yet envied the Duggar family’s large support system and all the positive excitement that goes with it. Wondering how your family compared to that family. When you say she is in pain, I’m not sure who you’re referring to. I too have issues with pain due to a lower spine problem but I’m not bad as long as I’m not on my feet or sitting for long. :) We too are trying to sell our house and move South. I’m looking for people who are interested in indefinite life extension through medical intervention and accident reduction/eradication. guessmyneeds@yahoo.com

      7. Hi Sherry,
        I have always dreamed of going to Nova Scotia too. Tell me if you went on your trip & how it was. I’m a big traveler and can’t believe I’ve never been there. I live in NYC right now:)

      9. Andrea, I have lots of posts here because I really feel there is potential to make connections here, although it may be a sounding board for some. Anyway it seems like a successful thread because it’s lasted so long. So far I’ve been emailed a few times asking for more about the community home I’d like to start in the future. I’m a relentless person so I keep trying. Also I think it helps all of us because through this thread we see we have a lot of company when it comes to loneliness. Not easy to find real connections though.

      10. Not certain how this site works but can relate to most of you. Also not sure how safe this is as I googled “retired single women who want to relocate” & this appeared for all the world to see. If anyone can advise I would appreciate it.

      11. and I don’t know why people without children by choice, like myself are not sticking together. Even the online sites for those without children have closed down. Seems crazy!

      13. I didn’t know there was even one dating site solely for those without children. I was on one forum just for people to connect online, friendship or not. (I think it was mostly ladies — talking about how to cope in a world where it seems you’re alone. and whether or not the holidays are a special type of problem, for example. That one closed down soon after I joined and the other similar sites were also closed.

      14. Terry I don’t know where you are but I’m looking for people who are excited about the anti-aging research going on now and who are interested in how all diseases and accidents can be gradually eliminated. If interested in this and other things, you can email me: guessmyneeds@yahoo.com

      15. I’m new at this too! Maybe we can help each other out with this new adventure! I’m Jamie and my husband passed away in 2013 with lung cancer at age 53 I am 55 now and I am disabled and can’t work but I have a check that goes into my account it’s just not enough to keep up with morgage and other bills and I never learned to drive so I am alone 99 percent of the time! That’s what lonely really is! I have know one in my life and my children and grandchildren don’t care enough to check on me! I live in Gainesville ga

      16. I am exactly in the same boat. Don’t seem to make friends and no relatives. 54 now and I often think how I am going to manage in my sixties and beyond

      18. Yep. People can say to each their own meaning that no one person would never be correct to direct any other adults actions. I have personally found that if one lives in a metropolitan area that it has more clubs more resources. At the same time, it is all about companies spending their advertising to get the word out there. I have seen people in hospitals never having any visitors. Still, some people that become patients prefer it this way. No for me. And, am working on being pro active to improve my life in a relationship.

      20. Hello Katherine
        I’m kinda like lonely too My name is Mike I’ve worked ever since I was fifteen I don’t trust to many people but I’m looking for someone that I can trust and share the things that I’m sososo Lonley about What I really want is a friend to talk to about problems I have and I love hearing a friends problems maybe take short walks in a park or walks around campground or by a peaceful lake or a pond maybe we could get together and be friends

        Thank you
        Mike

      21. Im 52 feeling the same way. Last man I was with was my husband 12 years ago. I want to share with someone. Male female just companionship

      24. Hi Andrea, I have no family either, but I am lucky to have my son and husband even though I’m not really happy, we don’t have any other family, well I have 4 siblings but they are so toxic I had to write them off, 1 brother I like but he doesn’t call or anything and is going through a divorce and I think he’s on crack and drinks, I don’t even talk to my parents. They treated me like crap my whole life, all us siblings, no one talks to anyone. My mother is selfish bit– who shouldn’t of had kids, she favored 2 and was nasty to the rest, now no one gets along, she is the cause of everything and had the nerve to say on mothers day a few years back “I’d have money if I didn’t have kids” I told her you shouldn’t of had kids – I don’t know what it’s like to have a caring mother. I thinks it’s worse when you do have siblings but their abusive so I had to get rid of them. I got married at 36, I used to get abused at jobs then come home and get abused by my parents and siblings. But I truly believe what goes around comes around. I’m so worried about my son he’s any only child when he gets older he doesn’t have family, I couldn’t have any more children, got married so late. My husband is a loner, he has gotten screwed over by people so much, doesn’t trust anyone, doesn’t want friends or be social so I am lonely too. My son and 5 cats and dog keep me going.

      25. “R” – I stumbled across this site and I share a lot if the feelings described, but I didn’t see anyone near my age until I read your post. I’m 53, no children, nor close family and now dealing with the end of a bad marriage. No idea what I’ll do if something serious happens… I truly have no one to count on.
        I related to another person here who said they had no children due to “a lot of moving and unexpected traumatic events… ” I would love to have had children, but it just didn’t work out that way for me. I’ve always tried to maintain a positive attitude, but I’m just so tired of starting over in life. I finally got married at 42 and that was just a waste of 10 years and a self-esteem killer in the end…

      27. Some of us don’t have a choice. I don’t have the money to go traveling; in fact, I don’t even have a car now. Friends? I moved to this little town because I could afford to buy here, at the time. And never fit in. Everyone is related. Church, too. My family is far away and I’m forgotten. I have some health issues but can still be active, usually. Doesn’t matter, I’m stuck. So don’t tell me it’s a matter of attitude and just getting out there. I’m sorry I sound so bleak. I used to be so bouncy and busy and productive. Now I’m just a nice old lady that walks to the grocery store, bank, post office. Everyone treats me like how they see me….a sweet old lady. My friends are online now. I love good, deep conversation, keeping informed in politics, world events, Christian beliefs. Better than nothing, keeps my mind busy…..but pretty lonely. I’d like to sell my small house for what little I can get out of it, get a vehicle, move to a place with more access to shopping and things to see. But it’s all overwhelming.

      28. Hi Linda. I feel like I am stuck also Linda. The town I live in has no activities for seniors. My husband has been gone for 7 years now and I have been lonely that whole time. I don’t have any family here but one daughter and they are too busy for me. They have a huge camper but they never invite me to go camping with them. I would be so excited if I could just go with them one time. I do have a car thankfully because I need a car to get to the grocery store and to run other errands. But that is about all I do in my life is running errands and get groceries. I have been on depression pills and they helped a little but there are days that I am just really sad and wish I had someone in my life. I do not want to get married again have been there a couple of times and do not wish to do that again. I just wish there was some way we could all get together and be friends.

      29. Just read your post and I know exactly how you feel. Moved to a new location approximately 10 years ago. Am single & do not have many friends here. Had to retire a few years ago & suffer from severe loneliness most of the time now. Hope your situation has improved since your post!

      30. A Widow
        I lost my husband who was my best friend and now I’m alond because my “children” abandoned me. It’s very sad especially on Holidays when you pretend it’s going to be Ok but it never is
        Selfish daughters know I’m a heart patient and cancer survivor but said I’m dead to them does anyone know if there are Familes who need a Grandmom or just a Friend
        It’s scary being alone

      32. I am in exactly the same boat–no kids, no husband, moved around a lot so I don’t feel grounded and am having trouble making friends. I am 60. I would like to connect with you.

      33. I am in the same boat. Have one daughter and son-in-law that lives near me but both are so busy that they really do not have time for me. I only have one good friend and we used to do things together but she has been ill and her husband has been ill so that has kept us from getting together. I don’t think I have seen her in the last 2 years almost. So I am very lonely too. I have three cats which give me some companionship but not having any friends to do things with is really hard. I have gone to church before but have neverfelt a part of anything there .It would be so nice if some of these letters that we read here where we could find out who they are and how far away they live from us so that we might be able to make friends with each other so that we would not feel so alone and lonely.

      35. Hi
        I’ve been trying to find a site where older women like me feel dating men is not for them!
        I just turned 60 , I’ve had medical problems most of my life
        I divorced an abusive man 20 years ago.
        I tried internet dating several times and it is not for me
        A year ago I met a chronic liar who had a substance abuse record. I had a cat for a long time who died and I don’t want another
        I wish to find other women who think dating sucks
        Zachie

      36. Zachie, even if you’re NOT asexual, you may be accepted on one of the asexual sites. Some are paid, at least one is free and there are a few facebook pages, although they may not be active enough. If you explain yourself, as you did in your post, you have a chance to get some good responses.

      37. Hi Zachie-
        At present I am having trust issues with men in general. I do love dancing though and I am trying to grt the courage to go to older dance clubs alone, and line dancing.

      38. Being lonely hurts. I know exactly how you feel. Just longing to say “hi, how are you doing? Wanna get together?” Just to have someone to talk to, go out and have some fun. It really does hurt.

    2. I have learned that there is a grieving process after a separation, divorce, leaving a long term friendship, partnership and a persons demise. Some move easily forward and some do not. The people who wish to be alone til their demise with no companionship whatsoever, etc. should be pleased with their decision to do so. They find peace their own way. I do not want that way for myself.

      Reply to Denis

      1. I am not sure who is getting this message but after being only not lonely for 6 years my feelings have changed.
        I have lots of female friends I luv their company but I now feel I would like some male Chatter

      2. Kathleen, I was fine also for the first 7 years after my husband’s death and then I decided that I really need to have a man in my life. So I went online and met a very nice man so quickly that I just could not believe it. We spoke for three months online and never met because he lives out of the country and worked out of the country. He was very very pleasant and I had really started to fall in love with him. To make a long story short I found out just this last week that I was being scammed they call it romance scammed. It has broken my heart but I do not talk to him anymore because he really is not who he said he is. Be careful if you go online there are so many scammers out there today and they will take advantage of you and not blink an eye doing it. After this bad experience I decided I don’t want a man in my life. Not for me. So be careful

      3. i am 72 years old have been told i don’t look it.i am in great shape my wife died very sudden 12 years ago while i was at work.my son was home called me and when i got home they had went to the hospital.she died three days later.the only thing that has kept me sane is i still work.my son is getting married soon and i didn’t realize how much i would miss his company.i don’t want to get married again opening your heart again and then losing someone can be very painful.i just want someone to enjoy the rest of my life with someone without marriage.i know to some people that sounds wrong but that what i want.

      4. Hi Frank
        My name is Sally and I’m 60. I lost my husband of 33 years suddenly. I have 2 grown daughters that try and include me in things , I am grateful for that. I went back to work but it’s not very fulfilling and I live in the suburbs where everyone is married. I know there are many of us out there…it used to be so easy to meet people now I feel like I don’t know how anymore. It’s a hard feeling to describe. Even people I worked with for over a decade just disappeared. Sometimes I really believe people are afraid to talk to widows. I am or was very active loneliness is worse than death.

      5. I have not moved forward easily. I’ve been alone 5 years now after a 23-year marriage and a 3 year relationship. Both ended in quite shocking ways and I feel that despite all my efforts I can’t move on from it somehow. I am also very lonely. I have a busy job, which more than anything I want to get out of, in an unfriendly city where nothing really good has ever happened for me. I have a few friends here, more abroad. My family is all overseas. I don’t want to be alone forever either, and every now and then I forget that I am alone, as if I was so used to having a partner and a good social life that my brain occasionally forgets that it hasn’t been that way for so many years. I did a bit of dating but it gave me panic attacks – ridiculous, I know. The grieving process is easier now (it was hell for the first three years alone), but my life has not become ‘normal’ again. I am afraid that I will be alone forever, stuck. I do a lot of stuff by myself – going out, trying new things, meeting people, travelling – but I never feel really relaxed anymore. I am also afraid to quit my job and strike out alone – being old and poor – and alone! – is really terrifying. But being here is a living purgatory. I’m glad to find this site, with people feeling similarly – but also not glad to see so many people going through this situation. I would also like to meet up, but you all seem to live a long way from where I am.

      6. Hi Helen,
        My story is similar to yours. I lost my husband on Christmas Day, 2011 & my loneliness gets worse & worse. I never thought I would be lonely & from the outside you would never know I am. You didn’t say where you live but I’m in NYC & CA in case you are close to either of those.

    3. This is the worst part of my life and an off button would be helpful. I lost my husband to cancer. i lost a lifetime of retirement savings to the medical community that treated his cancer. I had health insurance. He did not… his business fell into trouble when the 2008-9 collapse stopped all lending to contractors..a fact many do not know occurred. My biz was doing great and he did not want me to worry about his biz struggles. Ah well.. that did not work too well. I paid cash for his medical.. wiped me out. My/ our love is outdoor activities…our home is rural. My loves are fishing, hiking, hunting, camping. Try finding a woman to do those things. And men… no go… I do not want to date anyone and male friends for outdoor companions do not exist. I am college-educated and have built 3 businesses. suddenly my great resume gets me zero jobs.. age is a real barrierOur son lives acriss the country. There is no senior center here… there is no grocery store within 25 miles. Soo I struggle to pay bill. I go fishing alone. I camp alone. I go months during winter alone .. spring is better but better means 3 hours a week of human contact. I had a busy, full life with too many people, plenty of money, 40 years of marriage , travel, faculty friends.. and now.. the goal reached is not what i would widh on anyone. I am truly not depressed but i really have little desire to keep on going. This, quite frankly, sucks!

      Reply to womanovereasy

      1. Hello Frank! I’m so glad I found this site. I didn’t know there were so many people in the same boat I am in. Lonely people! I am 73 and still work in my business. Scared to retire. It’s the only thing that help me with my loneliness. I too would love to have a relationship with a man but don’t want to get married. Someone i can share my inter most thoughts with. A companion. Someone to go on trips with. Go out to eat. Just someone who enjoys my company. I live in Alabama.

      2. Where are you, “womanovereasy”??? I’d love to go fishing and camping!!! I’m in Texas, but sounds like you’re probably not. I’m 73, my husband passed in 2014, my mother, baby sister and my dog passed in 2015, in 2016 was my middle sister. I have a sister and a brother left and neither are anywhere near me. But that’s ok, we never got along anyway. I just went to the store today and fell in their bakery area……surprised me, really did. I think I turned too quickly and bumped into a post. I’m ok though, but it’s something to worry about. I think a lot about no one checking on me, I could probably lie on the floor for several days before a neighbor might decide to check…….it’s not a neighborhood where neighbors hang out together. I have dogs and thought maybe I should be teaching them to dig a hole and roll me over into it, but they’re mostly old too so that wouldn’t work out. I went up to the fire station yesterday and got a “file of life” form, filled it out and put it on my fridge…..it states all medical stuff, whatever “handicaps” a person has, etc., but someone has to call 911 so it’s just hanging on the fridge because no one checks on each other here. The only thing I really do outside the house is go to church and bible study class. Anyway, I’m rambling…….it would be great if you were in this area!

    4. That’s great, Rachel that you’re able to be so active. Speaking for myself, I have some health issues that prevent me from traveling or otherwise getting out on a regular basis so that I can meet other people. If you have the health to enjoy these years you are truly blessed.

      I’m not sure what the rest of us are supposed to do, however. You can only rely on the internet so much for friendships.

      Reply to Debbie

      2. Hi Steve,

        I like your short but sweet outlook. Yes, we come into this life alone and depart alone.

        I am 87 years old this month and have never felt alone. Always learning something new. Began learning the saxophone six months ago and having a ball. Played clarinet and oboe as a child. Going from classical to jazz.

        I have many blessings and am grateful for each day. Do have to deal with scoliosis and macular degeneration which is annoying but in the context of things, I am a lucky lady. Have had a very full life.

        There is always something to feel good about if I look for it.

      3. Hi Easter it is wonderful that you continue to learn, I will be 86 in 8 days, and I learn something new every day, I am alone but I am not lonely at all.
        There are ways not to feel lonely just have a hobby that you really enjoy and are good at it, something that you can do every day and look forward to all tomorrows.
        In 2002 when I retired I was 70 years old, I was very fortunate that I could afford to travel, and travel I did for 13 consecutive years: all of the States of the Union, South America, Central America, most islands of the Caribbean and most islands of Hawaii , Italy, France, Switzerland and even East Africa, I never even bothered to think about my age, I felt that by the time I reached 82 I would be dead like my father, I did not die but money was becoming a problem, I had homes in the Florida Keys, in Lakeland Fl, in Naples Fl, an apartment in Aventura Fl, a home in Spring Valley Ca. and now in Hemet Ca. After selling my home in Naples Fl I decide to return to California and chose Hemet because was 100 miles north of Spring Valley and a cheeper place to live, bought a mobil home there and all that I needed for security and comfort, I have my car and still enjoy exploring places near me. I was born in Italy, in 1956 I moved to the United States,for more than 44 years I lived in Florida, Florida is a wonderful place to be, especially the Florida Keys were I had a home for 36 years, but Florida is flat and for natural beautiful landscapes you needed to travel north or west, In my travel I took over 13.000 photographs.
        When I moved to Hemet I found myself to be afflicted by low energy, not much money and faced with the problem of what to do with whatever time I had left, when I was young I wanted to be a painter, my parents won’t have none of that so I became a researcher first in plastic later in pharmaceuticals, I decide to start painting, as it turned out I was very good from the very beginning, at the moment 10 of my latest paintings are on exhibition for the next 6 months at the very modern government building in Riverside Ca, I also was featured on the spotlight of the Press Enterprise news paper by the Riverside Arts Council, all my paintings are from my travel photographs, I am in fairly good health and live alone, I have been alone since my divorce in 1990, of course I was in several nice relationships but because of my preference of traveling alone after few bad experiences and also because of my moving to so many different places, I was not in a place long enough to form lasting friendships and relationships, now that I spend most of my time at home painting it would be nice to correspond and meet a healthy older lady that loves art or is an artist herself, I would love to correspond and ultimately meet at a place agreeable to both of us. If you want to see my paintings go to Michael Micalizzi of Hemet on Facebook and let me know if you like my style.The problems I have been facing is that galleries and art judging exhibitions are not interested on promoting a person of my age because I would not be around for very long to produce more paintings, a classical case of discrimination for an old person, that is the way it is. Have a great Christmas Holiday. Michael

      4. Iam 56 yr old woman single one son 25 lives on his own and Iam very lonely would love to find friends both male and female and Iam not sure if there even is a place to do that ?! Soes anyone know of a place to make friends after 55 ???

      8. Meetup.com does exist unlike what a contributor wrote. In the Miami area, this .com is so necessary since many keep to themselves. It is why it exists. So, you are in the same boat as so many others. Go to your nearest local community center and get their monthly list of activities and then just pass by when an activity you like is on. If you like the crowd, then sign up to be a member. If computer savvy and have the money go to the most popular singles sites that have your info secured (emphasis added). beat of luck.

      9. I am 69 and alone as well. I found a small church that I am happy with. Everyone is very friendly. I also have a Shih Tzu. I believe having a pet and church family helps. Senior Centers are good also. I still miss having a steady person to go to dinner with and just be around the house. My husband died from cancer 11 years ago.

      10. Being alone isn’t bad. It would be nice to share with another the wonders of life at our age. I still work part-time and met a lot of older and younger people. They never look down on us seniors working for reasons. I enjoy senior activities , being with the grand-kids, art work, and more of a country person. I am looking for companionship with someone that I may have something in common with. I enjoy going to murder-mysteries on stage production and so on…..Berta

      11. This site is for the general public in the features section and is not secured. Best not to type in any personal information.

      12. Steve,
        The point pf what ppl are saying here i believe is
        We are looking to make connections. When we age some looe family or never had any.. some empty nesters or never had any.if it where as easy to just enjoy and deal with it we wouldnt be searching here

      15. Hello Sharyn
        How are you doing today? my name toney and I came across your profile on here and I will like to know more about you if you don’t mind.. kindly write me a mail on (twilliams44672@gmail.com ) I will be looking forward to read back from you soonest

        Toney

      16. https://www.meetup.com/ Then choose your state then city. I’ve attended a Bible Study group, a Small Dogs Hiking group, a Single Senior Friends group, Wednesday Hump Day hiking group, all at one time or another and though it was difficult at first to enter into something alone where most of the others already knew each other since I don’t have great group skills and am really only comfortable talking one-on-one and am not a smiley person but rather serious – there was never a time when I felt uncomfortable or ignored and I learned to get better at being with strangers who quickly became, not friends, but congenial participants in whatever it was the group was aimed at doing. I can recommend it if your city has a chapter as most mid to large sized cities do.

      17. Hi Jean,
        You just touched on several of the reasons I don’t go to meet ups. I’ve tried different things and found most people bring a friend with them which often makes it hard to connect with them. Maybe I’ll get the courage up now to go to a meetup after reading your post. Thanks for sharing.
        Patty

      21. Hello Sharyn
        How are you doing today? my name toney and I came across your profile on here and I will like to know more about you if you don’t mind.. kindly write back ur email address I will be looking forward to read back from you soonest

        Toney

      22. hi Jean,
        I feel exactly how you do! I have tried Meet Up a few times but since people come with other friends, it is hard to connect with that one person

        I live in Northern Ca. in Berkeley, where about do you live? if we live not too far from each other, it would be lovely to meet.

        I would enjoy hearing back from you!
        Helene

      23. Hi, Helene

        I live in Bend, Oregon (which isn’t really near anything but Bend, Oregon !). I lived in N. California near San Jose for the first 30 years of my life and here for the last 37 – very nice here in the mountains and still having a town with great medical care, Costco, Walmart, Target, you name it – we’ve got it. We’ve been discovered and home prices and rentals are sky high now. I was in Berkeley just once when someone dragged me to a protest about something. Hope your Easter was nice – my pastor and his wife invited me to join their family for a big feast which was very sweet of them – but then I always wonder if they just feel it’s their duty to invite those they know have no one to spend holidays with
        ( I probably shouldn’t be so suspicious of peoples’ motives but I just hate when people feel “sorry” for me since I have no one when for the most part it’s been my choice. ) At this point, I’m pretty content with my sweet dog and two funny guinea pigs and, to tell the truth, so many times when I am out somewhere with people at the Senior Center for movies, or exercise classes, or after church when you’re expected to socialize in the lobby, I find myself wishing I was home with Joey, Ruthie, and Gracie – my fur buddies who never bend my ear about their incredible grandchildren and want to show me 35 photos to prove it and seldom bother to ask my about myself – it’s rarely a conversation but a monologue on their part. What is your story ?

      24. That’s right about the 35 grandchildren. I’m happy that people have so many family members but they do not put themselves in the place of others who can’t get in a word edgewise about themselves. There should be etiquette regarding talking too much about your relatives, especially oohing and aahing to others about their kids and grandkids.

      25. I am 64 years old and live in Florida. I am a retired nurse. I am currently in a loveless relationship and have been for 10 years. I have two good friends who come to visit me every year from up north. I miss having a connection with a friend. My partner does not have any friends and never wants to leave the house. I would love to have a companion for walking, going to lunch, exploring places laughing,, etc. Even living with someone can be more lonely than living alone.

      26. Janice, I imagine it could be lonelier to live with someone like that. Why can’t you get any friends? Do you have close family nearby?

      27. Hi Sherry,

        I am fortunate that I have two married daughters that live in Florida. I am very close with my grandchildren also. I had a very rough time with my youngest daughter a couple of years ago. We were estranged and I sometmes thought we would never have a mother/daughter relationship again. At that time, I began to focus on me. I joined a gym, got involved with my other daughter and grandkids, and realized I needed to focus me. Fortunately, My youngest daughter and I have reconciled. She has grown up a lot and I am now enjoying a relationship with her, my son-in-law, and 18 mo grandson.

        I have met some people, however, I am a “giver” and not a “taker”. I guess I have just met the wrong type of people…no connection.

      28. Janice. glad you reconciled with your daughter. I have to focus a lot on myself also but it’s because of my compelling reason to continue living, with the goal of to physically live forever mostly via upcoming technology. As long as I can be healthy and comfortable enough, I think I can make it.

      29. Hi i want to move to fla but have no family or friends there iam 76 but very healthy love to walk were are you in fla iam coming for vacation soon

      30. Hi Janice,
        I’m 64 as well. I wish you lived near me, I am in the same situation and would love to make some new friends, I just never know where to go to meet them.. I find most people are settled with their group of friends and aren’t really interested in making new friends.
        Unfortunately you live in Florida, I’m in Virginia. Funny because I thought maybe it would be good to move to Florida to retire since it’s where so many retirees move that it would make it easier to make new friends. I guess it’s the same everywhere.
        All the best,
        Patty

        P.S. I’ve often said “being lonely living with someone is the loneliest kind of lonely.”
        Just know you’re not alone with these feelings.

      31. Hi Patty

        I definitely agree with you. I have found that people are settled in their own cliques and very difficult to break the ice. I really appreciate your response. It is kind of nice to know there is someone out there that feels as I do.

        Yes, I wish you lived near me. It would be nice to meet a good friend. Thank you!

        Januce

      32. Hi, Patty

        Yes, about “being loneliest with someone,” is so true. I’ve always said, “Be careful what you wish for.” Personally, I think God gave us dogs to make up for people. I try to interact some with people via the Meetup groups (as noted earlier) and thru church and am thinking of volunteering with a Veteran’s organization here as I have a soft spot for those who served but at the end of the day there is nothing (for me) that takes the place of my little darling dog going nuts when I get home be it after 1 hr or 10 hrs. He actually attempts to talk to me and sticks to me like glue, in bed he burrows beneath the blanket and conforms his body to mine so I have a natural hot water bottle. It sort of scares me how much I love him and how I can’t even begin to think about ever losing him. So I would recommend getting a dog if a person is allowed to where they live and can afford one. Doggies also love being walked so it gets you out to parks and areas set aside for dogs where people with their dogs seem to more easily strike up conversations that, of course, revolve around their dogs.

        Jean

      33. Pets can be very important. I have an online friend who has no family to speak of and no local friends. Her rabbit gives her company and happiness. Walking pets out in public is one of the best ways to make friends. I am living proof because when I was 18 and in a new area, I had a family of 4 kids and 4 dogs befiend me — I hardly had to say a word and it got me a babysitting job for the 4 kids,

      35. Judy? I too would love to move to FL but I too have no family or friends there. I’m interested to not be right on the water because of hurricanes. Do you have an area in mind? I have my husband and mother with me and I’ve been looking for a caravan of sorts (not literally but to meet up down there) or it can be where we follow each other or go down together.

      36. Janice: what part of Florida? I moved here last July and would love to find someone to do things with… flea markets, trips, bingo, whatever. I’m 62 and live in Cape Coral.

      39. Hello Janice my name is Joan I also live in Florida, lake county..I am 70 a ypung 70 my children and grandchildren live in Florida but you know how it is everyone is busy..visits come down to Holidays,birthdays,mother’s…and once a month… my boyfriend passed away 3 years ago…it would be nice to have a good friend to talk with,go to lunch,play bingo,shop…my dearest friends have passed on and yes life gets a little lonely at times….

      40. Hi Janice – We are the same age. I am a still-working professional and live in S. Miami. What part of Florida are you in? My family is not nearby and I am a widow. I am thankful for my pets. I think the long weekends and holidays are the most difficult. I enjoy my home but would like to have more social things to look forward to with a good local friend similarly situated to break the monotony. Plays, concerts, museums, etc. I also recommend checking out Women’s Prosperty Network. You do not have to be a member to have access to inspiring talks on Wednesday’s via web or phone. Take care & s if in my area, feel free to reach out.

      41. I would like to live in FL. Afraid of irreparable hurricane problems and gators so I’d need to avoid those. Wonder if there’s a way. I’d like to live near the Church of Perpetual Life which is mostly a gathering for hope of physical immortal;ity.

      45. I’m 61 and my husband of 27 years passed away 2 years ago all I have is my dog no friends my husband was my friend we did everything together we were perfect together. It still feels like yesterday I can’t believe it’s 2 years I feel more lonely as time goes on. It’s getting harder not easier. I can’t believe I’m totally alone in this world. I have nothing to look forward to except my faith when I die we’ll be together again. I would never want anyone else just him.

      46. I hope depressed people are not looking forward to death because everyone they’ve ever loved has died. I think fortunately this isn’t common but I hate to see even one person waiting for death. We’re now in a transhumanist world, which simply means tech is increasing exponentially to the point where it’s improving or at least changing our lives to something sort of “futuristic”. With the anti aging medical control that we’re told will be available within 20 years, we may actually live so much longer that THAt age will actually be small compared to what we may have once accidents are under control. Bottom line is we will either be with our loved ones in an afterlife, either in heaven or here on earth by Godly intervention or we will live long enough to see people actually brought back to live via tech, but of course that will take hundreds, thousands, maybe millions of years. Search Aubrey de Grey, ira Pastor, Gennady Stolyarov, transhumanist political parties.

      47. Hello Paula. Yes I know how you feel I lost the love of my life 3 years ago..its still hard to believe he is gone…we reconnected again on facebook after 37 years.we found that we still loved each other….but God had other plans . It seems good friends are hard to make everyone has their own group..yes having a pet is comforting but something is still lacking that human connection..someone to talk too,relate too,have a good laugh and time with,,,,

      48. I thought years ago that when my children grown and I’m retired
        I would move to be around them. Now at 65, retired, widowed …
        One daughter, family and child out of state. The other lives away.
        For 36 years I loved being a wife, mother, and career. Now I live alone in small town.
        How do I find a NEW self worth ?

      49. i thought the same way my wife died suddenly while i was at work with my son at home.that was 12 years ago he is getting married now and i feel so lonely.i would never tell this but i have really missed.i always thought we would grow old together.i am going to be 72 but never get taken for that people think i am 50 i stay in good shape but i don’t know why.

  65. Hi, I just turned 61 and I am retired. I suffer with depression and anxiety which confines me to be honest. I have no children and family is not an option for me to have much of a social network. I just moved back to my home state and I feel terribly alone, it is just me and my cat here.
    I find myself overridden with anxiety about my will, beneficiarys, and especially an emergency contact. Plus I started worrying about being found here alone when I either get an attack or am dying/dead. Recently I fear driving which I never had problems with.
    Just to have someone check on me is a Godsend, and I am blessed to have an acquaintance that worries about me, and contacts me once in a while to touch bases. Church attendance is iffy at the most, and even that makes me anxious. I know if I was more social some of these problems would be fixed but with depression and anxiety issues it is easier said than done.
    Thank you for letting me vent a little.

    Reply to Karen

    1. Hi Karen, I have anxiety and depression too. I’m lucky still, to have my mom and husband with me. I hope I don’t lose them, as I have no kids, no local friends or other local family, just an extended family 150 miles away who I speak with occasionally by phone. You’re lucky you have someone to take care of your affairs if you need it and to check on you. I do not know if I would have this if my mom or husband were not here. I guess I’d try to have a doctor or lawyer take care of my affairs, if they even do that. It’s scary right now. I’ll soon be moving out of state so I’ll find out more then. I’m a transhumanist and unlimited life extensionist, so I’m positive about the future and still healthy as far as I know, maybe due to my belief in the possibility of living indefinitely.

      Reply to Sherry

      1. I’m 62 and have been single almost all my life. I had a relationship early on that was somewhat abusive and just never got over it. Time has flown by and I got sad when I realized I will most likely always be this way and got really anxious as well. But luckily I had super supportive co-workers who were right there listening, and reassuring me when I was about to retire and we stay in contact and go out to eat and movies, baseball games, casinos, whatever. I just retired and I don’t have them to laugh with everyday now so it’s hard sometimes. They are my second family. I could reach out much more than I do now and I know they’d be there for me thank God! We all need each other. I have a younger friend who is 40 who calls me about 6 times a week and we could talk for hours. Still there are certain days that are so lonely but I just try to get out into nature and/or go people watch and I feel better. I know God loves me and watches over me, so I count my blessings. I have a cat and birds and want a dog but can’t decide which kind! I talk to my animals a lot but I’m a communicator! My son will be thirty and lives 5 hours away but he’s been calling once a week which I appreciate. My feet hurt which is my main concern because I gained 60 pounds! Otherwise I would be way more active. I do need a dog to walk!

    4. Hello Karen,

      I feel the exact same way that you do, I’m 57 and facing divorce, which my husband just recently told me he wanted and doesn’t
      love me anymore…and is never home anymore. My world revolved around him and the things we did together. I have children that are loving but very far away. I have been mostly a homemaker with part time jobs. I try and practice breathing every day..I never
      thought I’d be alone like this. I’m sorry we’re both going thru this terrible ordeal with our health issues. Take Care

      Reply to Sue

    5. Hello Karen
      How are you doing today? my name toney and I came across your profile on here and I will like to know more about you if you don’t mind.. kindly write me a mail on (twilliams44672@gmail.com ) I will be looking forward to read back from you soonest

      Toney

      Reply to Toney

    6. Hi Karen,
      My name is Jon and I am from Massachusetts and would love to have a cup of coffee with you some morning. I’m very lonely but not alone. My wife is on oxygen 24/7 and has been for 4 years and now the doc. tells me that Dementure is settling in so she does not go out at all. i’m not complaining , it’s just that after 4 yrs. I am going crazy . I need to talk to another and relax a little. If your in my local I would to see you. Keep each other company. Jon, ps thanks for listening.

      Reply to John Shay

      1. John shay and all, anyone with a problem as severe as being on oxygen or getting dementure should consider a clinical trial. I’m not sure but I think the first phase is always for safety — to try to determine if the treatment will harm the patients and second or third phase is for efficacy, to determine how well it works as a treatment. I know about these things because health is a secular thing and I’m a secular person and in fact an unlimited life extensionist/amateur futurist.

    9. Ahhhh ❤️ I wish I lived close to you , I would help you. we are totally different, I have family but they don’t care. I too suffer from anxiety, depression. PTSD, and bipolar disorder. If you ever need to talk . I will check back on here. This is the first time I’ve been on here. Your comment really touched my

      Reply to Jenny

  66. I am an early retired 58 years old single female, and currently find myself estranged by my (only) adult son. I always thought of myself enjoying my retirement with grandchildren. That has not been the case. I’ve had been too busy enabling my son on all levels. I know finally put my foot down and he has decided to “estrange himself” as a form of manipulation. My siblings have never been exemplary and were always quick to criticize and gloat. Now, that I do not have my son around I feel lonely and isolated from the world. I do not like self-pity but unfortunately I do feel this way. Not cool.

    Reply to Joli

      1. I understand bout the kids. Sometimes, they are so busy that they honestly do not understand. My only son, who is married and wonderful, thinks I am his age. I am 7l, work full time, take care of many cats, my own and ferals, and on top of it, my job is stressful and I have a chronic very painful disease. He wants to understand but unless people have gone through things, they really cannot comprehend. If I was not sick and did not have to work, I would never be lonely as I am not looking for a man but would just join walking clubs, reading clubs, and the list goes on. You just have to volunteer or join groups or maybe even work part time. That always helps. I wish you the bes.

      2. l am so sorry to any one feeling along,it is not a good feeling,my husband died five years ago,and we have two grown sons,they don,t live close by,in the last five years l have lost my mom to cancer,my husband died the next year of lung cancer,then two years ago my sister died of massive heart attack,then my brother died this pass June of massive heat attack,l have been feeling lonely,this year my goal is to get out more and make friends,and who knows maybe a new man in my life,l am 58,active ,l made the mistake of taking early retirement , but now l am thinking now is my time to travel,do any thing l want to do,so today l can say ‘Life is Good’and every day will be a new adventure ,I hope each and everyone can reach out and grab life by the shirt tails and swing like a child and keep a going

      4. I’m John and my 2 adult kids have moved 2 hrs away and see them maybe 4x a year I no that I’m lonely since I have lost my partner 5 yrs ago and tried social dating sites for a few years but could never get past a year with whoever I was with so I’m trying church and library but not easy to make friends do u have any ideas good luck I could use a nice person to communicate with I’m on Facebook John Bruno in Long Island look me up if you’re interested xo

      5. Hi John,
        I lost my husband 3yrs ago. Than my health went down hill. I have spinal stenosis and ended up in a wheel chair only till I can get strong again. I was the most out going person. Love being around people .came from a LG family. But i originally was born and raised in calif. My husband and I. Moved to N.W. AR. HERE 14yrs. Wasn’t expecting him to die! Most my dear. Friends all live in Calif. And stay in touch. My 3 daughters moved here 1 at a time. 2 married
        One lives down the street, with my 12 granddaughter. They come around the most. What caught my eye was your name Bruno. That was my favorite uncle Bruno. I’m 68. If you need to talk or text. Its in your court? If not thats fine too.
        Sincerely, marie

      6. Hi John, I, too, find myself lonely, but I am always up for going and doing things. I live in CT and would possibly chat with you.

      7. I need to get a life, I feel I’m dying inside, no friends, lost my husband to cancer and now I’ve lost my only sister. I feel doomed.

      8. I need to get a life, I feel I’m dying inside, no friends, lost my husband to cancer and now I’ve lost my only sister. I feel doomed.
        I’ve been widowed for a little over 41/2years, tried the dating thing , hasn’t worked out..??
        I’m 57 and live in Oregon . have a dog, tried the getting back in shape in 2016, now all I do is watch TV alone every night and don’t seem to have very many interests anymore. I would like a friend that I could do things with..??

      9. Hello Barbara
        How are you doing today? my name toney and I came across your profile on here and I will like to know more about you if you don’t mind.. kindly write me a mail on (twilliams44672@gmail.com ) I will be looking forward to read back from you soonest

        Toney

      10. Your life seems about the same as mine, except I lost my husband to another woman, 6 years ago. I wish I could get a life also. The people I meet I don’t seem to have anything in common. I really would like to find someone to just go places with, I am so tired of going everywhere alone. I just stay home and sit in front of tv! I am in Augusta Ga sure would like to meet friends

      11. Hello Barbara, You sound just like me. I have such anxiety and fear..mainly because my husband of 29 years wants a divorce and doesn’t love me anymore. My life has been turned upside down, Like you I don’t have close friends and my children and sis live far away. I’m from California, most all of my mom’s sister and brother’s who are left are from Oregon. I miss the west so much. But being just a homemaker most of my life, and only part time jobs, I don’t know how I’m going to make it on my own..and the loneliness is killing me…I’m trying to breathe everyday. I hope you can find some comfort as I search too..

      12. HI, Barbra Though I am 10 years older than you, I could have written than same scenario (minus the husband- never had one- thank God for dogs). I live in Bend, Oregon, where do you live ? Would be too fortunate if you lived in Bend ! We could take our dogs walking the many trails around here, something I try to push myself outside to do and am getting a bit better at it. Had to fill out a form recently that asked for an Emergency Contact and realized there is no one so I put “911.” If you do happen to be in my part of the state, my email is: italia9@q.com All the best, Jean

      13. Barbara Hang in there be strong and don’t give up. You can message me when you are feeling down or lonely! You have friend in me. Praying for you. ☀️

      14. I need to get a life also. I have no friends, my adult children say they are too busy for anything to do with me. So their choice we are estranged to say the least. I have 1 sister that lives in another state that keeps pouring oil on an already toxic relationship. Days I just can’t think of a reason to get up. No where to turn.

      15. I feel the same way you do. I am 62, widowed and all kids gone and married. I feel so alone and isolated. Wish I could find some friends and possible a soul mate, but I don’t get out much as I am depressed and the thought of fixing myself up to go out alone is something I am tired of doing.

      16. hi John facebook is a lot of fun or barbara everyone is lonely in a different way I am stuck home with a 46 year old handi-capped son who is wonderful but I cant get out much because of that . so I have taken up sculpting and am learning an instrument by skype. some days are better then others but I find that getting out of the house whenever I feel lonely really helps a lot

      17. They’ll be back when they age a bit. Did the divorce cause ripple effect of cooling off the mother child relationship? Give it time to heal. Were there problems in the home that caused them to become very independent and they are afloat but distant? That will heal with time, too. Best I can say. Be hopeful.

    2. Joli, it’s really terrible, I know. I still have two household members and an extended family 150 miles away who I was never close with. The side of the family locally has never been very good, and without the older generation to hold us together, they have estranged mom and me. My husband has a similar situation with his family and he has no contact with any of them. It’s good you took a stand with your son. I did the same with my father, but he had abandoned me years before that. I had tried to reconnect with him, which was a mistake. I could easily end up alone as also I have no siblings. What is wrong with the families in the USA?????? I wonder if the same is happening elsewhere. It seems almost perfect in Asia in terms of families helping each other. Sherry in PA, soon moving South

      Reply to Sherry

      1. I find every family has a story to tell and families are so broken today. So many kids think parties & drinking with their friends are more important then spending time with their parents. It’s today’s society. So sad, your not alone.

      2. susan, although I have no chldren, I like children but i like adults much less than children. Many change for the worse when they’re no longer children. I have heard of many cases you’re describing. The kids treat the parents like garbage but come around for the inheritance like vultures on a dead animal.

    5. I’m John and my 2 adult kids have moved 2 hrs away and see them maybe 4x a year I no that I’m lonely since I have lost my partner 5 yrs ago and tried social dating sites for a few years but could never get past a year with whoever I was with so I’m trying church and library but not easy to make friends do u have any ideas good luck I could use a nice person to communicate with I’m on Facebook John Bruno in Long Island look me up if you’re interested xo

      Reply to John

      1. Hi John, I’m now not totally alone but the pattern has been all my life to lose more people in my life than I gain. What so far has helped me is that I’m a transhumanist and unlimited life-extensionist. Actually it’s possible to live for an indefinite period, maybe even forever. To be true to this belief however, you need to mainly live for yourself — not that we don’t need people as we do but this secular value may help during the times we’re lonely. If you’re already into the life extension mindset or haven’t but it sounds appealing, please reply. People put down immortalists but very rarely are any suicidal. abuse substances, attempt to harm an innocent person or pet, become obese, etc.

    6. Hi I’m a sixty-year-old combat wounded veteran and wheelchair-bound. I spend most of my time alone because my I desire to be somewhere convenient and adapted to my disability. It’s not fun I’ve been this way for a long. Of time. You have to reach out to people. I think the best thing that happened to me was I found a power greater than myself many years ago. But not many people want to be with a sixty-year-old butchered in a wheelchair.

      Reply to Joe Hargadon

    7. Oh sue, I’m so sorry for you. But let this experience be a teacher for you in the future – NOT to rely so strongly and exclusively on someone else for your happiness!!! Even if your husband didn’t divorce you….he could have had an accident and die, or worse, he’d get some long time illness and YOU would have to spend the entire rest of HIS life attending him!!! He wants a divorce? GREAT!!! Put on your beautiful smiling face, your nice sexy clothes and nice makeup and go out and enjoy yourself!!!

      Of course, you want to join many good groups according to age range, location, etc. i.e.: meetup.com among them. Then you’ll always have people to go out with and even find a close friend among them! :o)

      As to many of the comments here who said to be afraid not to have someone to check up on them in case of accident, illness or death….I have the very same fears as I have no family and from all the friends I always had….some moved out of the country and some have died. AND….I’m probably the veyr oldest of all here!!! So, here’s what I did besides joining as many groups as I can and going out with them to the places I choose:

      I sought for a long time and found a reasonable fee estates and trust attorney who, while she won’t be checking up on me to see that I’m ok, she has made all the necessary documents so that I may die in peace knowing things will be done as I wrote them on these documents. In addition to writing my will and my trust (the latter to avoid probation), she also will be my executor, health care proxy, and living will. You can get a lot of info from the good ol’ internet. :)

      GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF US!!! :o)

      Reply to Adela

      1. (I hope I clicked on the proper “Reply” for this to go to Sue but I hope more see this info too. But I forgot to add an important item:

        I made myself a purse size of my living will with the direct contact of my estates and trust attorney which I carry in all my purses and bags, suitcases, all over my apartment, etc. so that if I die or become incompetent in a pubic place, my attorney will be notified instantly. The problem is if this happens in my apartment…..for this one needs a close friend. OR, maybe paying a neighbor a token fee to be checked up say, every other day or something? I haven’t yet figured this out but I’d love to do it soon. :-)

    8. Joli: I too am retired….62… and moved to Florida to start a new life. I didn’t think Being alone could feel so lonely when all your family (what’s left of it) is 1,000 miles away.

      Reply to Patti

  67. I am 71, an introvert and don’t mind being at home. I don’t have friends, i was never close to my coworkers ( too much constant gossip and small talk). I lived here over 50 years, originally from germany, but always had different opinions and ideas than people I knew.
    I had to quit my job in may to take care of my husband, but then he passed away in September. Now I am told that I need to socialize but never was good at it to begin with. I am concerned tho that i cognitively decline if I don’t. I would like to meet someone for coffee ever now and then. I live in NW Arkansas.
    Immy

    Reply to Immy

    1. I’m having trouble finding the new comments on this thread and at least one other stated the same problem. I just hit the first “reply” at the top of the entire thread, not knowing what would be better. This is a wonderful thread and I hope we can all somehow use it more easily.

      Reply to Sherry

      1. Betty, I don’t reply to many posts on this thread but when you said both of your friends died last year it reminded me of my own fear of losing both my household members, the only people I have in the area and the only people I’ve been very close with recently. I fear his because although I’m disabled I seem to be the healthiest of the 3 of us here. But it’s good I’m reminded sometimes because it keeps me aware of what can happen and therefore keeps me mentally as prepared as I can be. Hope you make more friends, both online and offline.

    5. Hallo Immy, sorry that your husmand passed away. – I am Hiltrud from Germany and like to read in this page, it inspires me. What you write sounds familia to me. I am 65 and life alone.- To have a coffee with you is not possible, but if you like an e-mail contact you can write to me.- (haritawolf@arcor.de)

      Reply to Hiltrud Wolf

      1. Hello Hiltrud, I just read your thread and thought you interesting. I’m 62 year old single man, recently had to take early retirement. I’ve worked all my life in German owned/run tool & die shops. Where do you live? I have Spinal Stenosis, and don’t get out much at all. Wonder if you like to e-mail back and forth. Dave at: sammydudleylancelot@yahoo.com

    6. I hope you find someone to have coffee with, Immy, I wish we were closer! I’m same age and also an introvert. I manage to keep busy, mainly because I have pets to care for, I go to the gym sporadically, to church regularly though I’m a late-blooming Christian, so it’s still all new to me. I have no family here, my neighbors have their own families and lives to live so there’s really no one. I’ve recently found out that I have a spot on my lung and my internist will check me again in two months to see if it’s growing. I have another appointment with him this week to tell him I don’t want to wait 2 months, I’d like some action now. I’ve lost two sisters and a father to cancer. I don’t want to wait. Up to this I thought I was doing pretty good health wise, but apparently not. Meanwhile, I’ve been trying to figure out how to meet other people, I’d love to have someone to “hang out” with. It’s really difficult. It seems everyone has their quota of friends and don’t want any more. Anyway, hope you find someone nearby for coffee. Best wishes, Helen

      Reply to Helen

    7. Dear Immy,

      I have found that sometimes you just have to be your own best friend. In today’s society loneliness will be part of almost everybody’s life because of technology. I am retired military and a friend of mine married a lady from Germany. She is a beautiful soul and he is a happy man at least the last time I saw him he was. This is all the way from Georgia. Just wait until tomorrow everything will be OK.

      Reply to Earl

  68. I am a 60 year old lady working full time. I would like to meet a Christian man with whom we can have a wonderful friendship. If it is supposed to be maybe love. I live in L.A California. I love moderate hiking in the beautiful outdoors. My first commitment is To Christ, and giving back to others. I have very few relatives which makes the holidays lonely. If nothing else chatting friends.

    Reply to Sally Lujan

    1. Cindy, Not sure you’re the one replying about the Golden Girls, but whoever it is, anyone with an empty bedroom or a friend who is also lonely and doesn’t want to live alone can start house-sharing. Everyone says NOT CRAIGSLIST! but if you can find someone to get to know for a long time, someone who does not have a lease ending next month or who needs to escape NOW from a bad situation, you can make a friend, if not a future roommate. I will be putting up local (physical) notices, trying to find people on Craigslist and networking…anything safe and socially acceptable, right? :) It may take time, even many years but if nothing is done, nothing will happen. :) To chat about house-sharing or anything to do with technology, another favorite topic of mine, please email: guessmyneeds@yahoo.com

      Reply to Sherry

      2. To Effie: I live in Virginia Beach near Town Center. My husband and I moved here from NJ. Have you heard of meet up groups? I am a member of one for female baby boomers. Great group of women from all backgrounds. We get together for lunch, HAPPY hours,walks. I have made some friends through this website.

      5. Hi Sherry, great networking idea. Looking to move and share house, but dont want to go thru craigs list, little bit scary. I am living alone now, and have been for a few years, and I hate it. Kids grown and are very busy with their own lives. Any suggestions on how to find a roommate and a safe place.

      6. /Trish, I will also try to meet a lot of people in person and get to know them. Living with friends is a safe way to get good housemates but you need to know the people are really good enough and compatible. I think this simply takes time. I hope to become a social butterfly after I move. You need to know the people a long time and do background checks early on so you don’t waste too much time and energy. let me know how you do. guessmyneeds@yahoo.com

      7. Trish, also curious where you’re living and if you would ever consider relocating to another area and live in someone else’s home or be a co-owner of a home with a person, family, etc. ? I want to have an “immortality” community home for people like myself who are life-extensionists with the goal to live forever, even though it seems unrealistic. (We may never get world peace either but there have been scads of organizations working on it.)

    2. I just moved back to Michigan my husband passed away in Tennessee I live there for 5 years I felt so lonely I thought it would be better if I move back to Michigan near my children and my grandchildren but that isn’t working out too well because they all work most of the time I very seldom see them I’m get snowed in and I have to hire somebody to shovel me out I think I’m going to move back to Tennessee maybe not where I was at but I like Tennessee but no I don’t have any friends here and no one to talk to and yes it gets very long. What’s the living conditions in Michigan are very high if you’re living on a fixed income they are a lot cheaper in Tennessee the weather is a lot nicer in Tennessee if you live near Knoxville Tennessee there’s a lot to do so I’m thinking in March I’ll put the house on the market and move back down to Tennessee.

      Reply to Barbara

  72. Choose the poker network depending on your level of
    skill and experience. There are numerous internet poker books available
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    Reply to Otilia

  73. HI, I am 66 years old, so far in good health raised 2 daughters by myself. My husband passed away when he was 40 years old. I never re-married nor lived with a man. As a Social Worker I dealt with a lot of physical and sexual abusive males.
    My girls are 33 and 36 years old, they have their own lives and I find myself alone every day. I do volunteer a lot, but I go home to an empty home. It’s so hard to find a companion since all the males I have met are looking for younger woman. I look younger then my age, but as soon as they find out I am 66 years old they disappear. Loneliness is hard sometimes more then others. I believe in God and I pray a lot, but I guess some are not fortunate to find a companion. I will keep the faith that I will find someone until the time comes to meet my maker. I want to thank every one that wrote on this website because I realized I am not alone feeling lonely.

    Reply to Karmen Franco

    1. I am a 66year old man and live alone i have a son 36 but have not seen him for 10 years. I know what loneliness is like i am average health and look more like in my 50s but i don’t go out and socialise and feel lonely all the time.

      Reply to malcolm

      1. I am 78 years old and would love a friend to talk to.I have 4 children , all grown and busy with their own lives.and the older I get it only gets harder.

      2. Judy,

        Where do you live? My mother is 76 years old and We lost Dad about 2 years ago. My Mom is the Sweetest person, but lately seems she has been stating how lonely she is. I would love for her to have a friend to go to movies, dinner, etc with but not sure how to find other healthy 70+ individuals that would enjoy the same. She is in Thornton Colorado. If you have any suggestions I would appreciate hearing them. Thank you.

      3. Hi Judy,

        I am a 63 year old divorcee, When I first got divorced and moved from our home to another town, I went online to sites called Meetups, to meet people that liked to do the things I liked to do, listening to cover bands, and dancing, or going to the movies. I ended up meeting a nice group of men and women who lived near me. We have been friend for 6 years now. We do many more than just dinner and dancing. We have traveled together as well. Just a thought. Good luck with your mom.

        Trish

      5. HI Judy my name is Victoria and I’m 57 years old. I have 3 sons but they’re all grown and gone. My husband works constantly and it gets so lonely for me at times. To make it worse, my little dog passed away a month ago. She was 14 years old. I sometimes feel like life is just passing me by. Anyway, I would enjoy a friend to talk to as well.

      12. Hi Judy, I just found this page this evening as I researched wondering if I am losing whats left of my little mind. :)
        My daughter and 3 grandaughters came to stay with me a couple of months ago due to marital issues. I had just moved from my house into a 2 bedroom mobil, and was not quite settled as it took a lot for me, to make this move. then they all went home, which is a great thing, I do hope and pray they can work thru it. But it has been hard for me to adjust yet again to moving, and trying to feel settled, and now totally alone again except for my issabella my dog…. she is good therapy and I try to walk her everyday for her and for me.. it does help.. funny how all our relationships with our kids and grandkids change over time as we get older and they are getting older but they are still our kids. sometimes its hard to reach out as they are all so busy with their own lives, that is why this may be a nice way to chat and connect with others regarding all lifes on going change… Send me a note some time… :) keep smiling and when you get stressed we get busy :)

      15. I m kind of in the same boat. I m a 62 yr old female living alone and haven t spoken to my daughter in years. I like playing cards with some female friends but don t go out much other than church on Sunday. There just aren’t t many men in this age group who aren t married. It is what it is! I didn t choose to be alone but here I am! Granted, it would be much better to share everyday life with somebody, but what are we to do?

      16. My husband has been in a nursing home for a year. My whole life changed. I had friends that use to get together with me and craft. I had to stop doing that but I thought they would still be my friends. But I don’t hear from them anymore. At first I was still cheerful and hopeful that I would make new friends and have things to do. But now it seems like an awful cycle. The more alone I am, the more depressed I get and less confident I am getting. I wish my phone would ring or I had future plans.

        The friends I thought I had, the ones that knew my husband never even call to see how he is doing. It breaks my heart.

        I was,wondering if anyone has or is going thru this and how they are handling it.

        Thanks
        Pat

      18. I am in my early 60’s. I am very active and love to do just about anything, but it is a little hard when you dont have a partner. I really dont go anywhere to meet people and am brand new to this site. Just kinda stumbled onto it by accident, or maybe not. I live alone except for my two little dogs, who are great company. I was married way longer then I should of been, and finally realized as much as I prayed the nasty, selfish, dishonest, unloving to everyone except himself was never going to change.( And the list goes on ) So I had to. I loved being married, I love the family life. And envied couples that had a loving caring relationship. Age is just a number to me, kindness is what is important. I am glad I found this site. Smile and be happy. If anyone would like to chat, my e mail is neeewh@gmail. Would love to hear from you.

      19. How do you know you are older than anyone you speak to I am almost 83 and lost my son and my daughter many years ago then my husband died 13yrs ago I live on my own with my dog and two cats they keep me company I couldn’t live without them do you have any pets I live in Norfolk in England but I was born in London where do you live

      20. Hi Judy, I am 69 yrs old and live in ca,I am retired. my husband passed 15 yrs ago.I was the type that never had time to sit and have coffee with friends.all ways busy. I’m paying for it dearly now . kids are all grown the only one i am close to is my granddaughter. I am in good health but so lonely and bored. Some days i think I will go out of my mind. My dog and I go to the river every morning where at least I can say Hi to people but of course they have their on lives. I would love to find someone to do things with.would love for you to email me at barbarahatton1948@gmail.com would love to talk.

      21. Hi Malcom,
        I know how you feel. I too have a very adult son, and have spoken once since 2007.
        This life is lonely but I do put on my makeup, dress up and go out, even if it’s to the shopping centre.
        I have a dog that makes sure he is walked, if not he will follow me around the house making me feel guilty until he gets his walk.
        I am searching the Internet for active adult clubs.
        I’m not looking for a man, just friends.
        You can send me an email if you like.
        Regards,
        Maria

      22. i am 7l and live alone and work 50 hours a week. I would love a female friend to talk to and go out to dinner and movies with. I love animals and am fairly conservtive.

      24. You sound like me. I am thesame age and live alone, which is something I never thought would happen. My children both live in the next town, but they both have children and full time jobs I love the animals too, they are the best company, do you have pets now? I live in a co op building, no dogs allowed, it would be nice to have one. Id like to hear from you..

      26. Renda,

        Where do you live? I live in Tyler, Texas. I am retired and live alone. I would love to have someone with whom to go to dinner, a movie, or just to talk. If you live close to me, get in touch.

        Rita

      27. Hi My name is Char. & happy to be here. I’m 68, widowed & I do get lonely too. I never thought I would as I was always surrounded by family. Like some of you, my kids are grown & I miss the days when the grandkids were little & I was a big part of their world. I have some friends, all married so it’s not the same since my husband passed away. Be fun to chat with some new friends

      28. Dear Maria, I live in Columbia ConnecticutI would love to be your Moms friend. Too bad we live so far away, but I will be thinking of her. I know the loneliness! My heart goes out to her and I hope a ice lady reaches out to her! Always Judy

      30. Looks like alot of us are all in same boat. I have 2 grown children that quit coming to see or call me when i stopped giving them financial help . Im 66 live alone in orlando but tired of heat . I wanna move to nc or tn and see snow would love to have a roommate female thats active

      31. Do any of the women live near Tyler, Texas? I am 69 yrs old and my husband of 48 yrs passed away 2 yrs ago. We had a great marriage for 48 yrs and now, I am extremely lonely. I do have friends but most are married. My email is ritahanson30@gmail.com If you are interested in getting to know one another, email me.

        Thanks,
        Rita

      35. Hi Vivian,

        Husband left for another 8 years ago and at first I worked, worked, worked to keep busy and deal with it. After a year, I was so glad he left. He was dishonest and had taken most of our money to give her.
        I have always enjoyed people.
        I retired early as he said we were moving to another state and that was a lie and now I cannot work in the public school system.
        I have substituted for five years and a couple of weeks ago I will not do it anymore. It is a thankless job but all I can get. There are no jobs in this farm town and the people gear to their families and friends they have known for their lifetime.
        I moved here two years ago to be near my daughter and several months ago she has decided not see me.
        This has put me in a crisis mode but there is nothing I can do.
        I find I am facing such isolation and with moving to an economically deprived area there is not much to do.
        I have not gone out to dinner, had a cup of coffee or a conversation with a body in years. I exercise an hour each day for 30 years, am 71 outgoing, interested in so much.

        I have come to terms that I must begin putting me first and not to sure what to do with this realization. Also, I have begun to know how much isolation I am involved in and how it is impacting me. I go to the library just to use the computer as I have no internet ( money) and to be with people. I have done tremendous amount of volunteer work for the last ten years. Need a job as I do not have funds but hiring my age is unheard of. Have tried for 3 years here.

        We all have such harsh situations but I recently decided I want to enjoy the rest of my life. Perhaps I need to move but I do not know where. I wish the people I am reading about lived closer. I guess I am putting me first now and know I have to love me. I do not want to die and know I stayed in this town that is so limited and the people here do not gravitate to new people.

        It is my realization that most likely there are lonely people here I do not know with circumstances and there are so many as described by the people on this site. The media and the life steam is all abut the young and the consumerism so even as a Senior much is focused on the young.

        The isolation in our society is so prevailing and it is hidden.
        As a Dr. of education I am a researcher. And we are not the priority of our society. This is the hidden population.
        sbergin 473@gmail.com

      36. Hi Sall bergin, how are you doing? I feel your pain, I am also alone, and hate it. I loved being married, and hung in there way longer then I should of. Hoping and praying everyday things would change. And a very nasty person would suddenly wake up and change. I have alot of regrets that I didnt leave sooner. Was married to an extremly selfish, unsenitive, vulgar nasty man. Who on the outside hid it very well. Where do you live. I am in a nice state where there is alot to do, but looking to move, only for the fact is, I dont have piece of mind with him so close. Dont let your daughter upset you, kids can be very cold hearted and selfish at times, it is really sad, but kids now a days seem like they dont have the same values. I am glad to hear that you are putting yourself first. That is something I had never done, and because of it was in a unhappy place. But am working on that now. I would love to chat with you, if you want, e mail me my e mail is neeewh@gmail.com. Smile and hang in there.

      37. Where do you live Vivian? I live in NYC and hope to hear from anyone from that city. For those of us who seek friends from this thread it would be nice and important to indicate the city where they live don’t you think?

        CYNTHIA of the Bronx in NYC, if you can read this, please contact me here: Adela at: pisardela@gmail.com.

        ANYONE ELSE WHO LIVES IN NYC PLEASE CONTACT ME so we can exchange likes and dislikes, etc? As a preview:

        I’m a female in the 80s and with no health problems. Very active taking aerobics 3 times a week, dance international folk dancing, I’m a lousy bowler but love it, like Karaoke, ADORE ALL animals, love the water, swimming, etc. Not fond of loud, violent and pornographic movies, plays, etc. I adore classical music, the 40s musicals and grand opera and classical ballet….If you respond I’d like to know what things you enjoy so that I may also try them?

        Adela

      38. I kno how you feel. I am 72, widowed since I was 65, and worked until I was 70. I feel pretty good overall, can do most anything I want to and everyone says I look good (but I wouldn’t expect them to say I look bad) . I am reticent by nature and that has not helped me at all. My 4 kids don’t have any time for me , honestly. They are so “busy” it has hurt my self esteem unbelievably. They never even offer me a plate of food.. I found myself groveling for attention from them but have just about got that under control. I tried a dating site once and it is so true men that are my age don’t want women that are my age. The whole thing kind of humiliated me. I talk to my cats or my chickens. My first husband was in the army and we never stayed anywhere long enough for me to forge a lasting friendship. My 2nd husband was very possessive and I worked full time I just didn’t fight him over it. Now he is gone, the work friends that I was close to are still working and don’t have time for a friend who can’t talk shop with them. And you cannot make an old friend. The more I am at home the less I want to go anywhere. This is not as big a problem in the summertime as it is in the winter when the days are so dreary and the nights are so long and you can’t go outside. So I just go from day today doing the best I can and trying to make the best of it. I am so lonely though

      39. Hi Peggy,

        I know how you feel. I have been widowed 2 yrs and I retired to take care of my husband in his final year. Now, I have moved from Houston to Tyler, Tx to be near my Sister. My 2 Sons are grown and are married with lives of their own. They rarely come to see me. They are busy with their careers and their children. I hate being alone. I stay busy with quilting and going out with some of my friends but nothing seems to cure this lonlyness. I just feel a deep sadness. Email me or call. Would love to talk.

        Rita

      42. Peggy, I truly enjoyed your message. Now I say enjoy but felt so close
        To all you had said. First of all I hold a lot of love in my heart. You didn’t
        Give your age and you know something it doesn’t matter. We feel as we
        Feel, regardless of age. I won’t accept you can’t love someone if you are
        A certain age. Elders are here and they have every right to a happy, loving
        Life as much as anyone else. Peggy I believe that not one senior should be
        Shoved in a corner on Thanksgiving or Christmas like a baby in a high chair.
        I have seen this over and over and my heart goes out to the,. They can’t be
        Included in the conversation and I believe they would have so much to say
        And people would be In awe of how much they know. My daughter has said
        Many times Mom now we c.an go out to lunch and do so much together. Yes
        She works but does have spare time. The promise of going out to lunch never
        Happens. People see to think it won’t matter to them as they are probably
        Tired. I feel livid with anger over this. Tired, no totally bored over doing
        Nothing. I am a Christian and pray so much to God for someone to love
        And bring them happiness in turn. Peggy we can’t let people know our own
        Feelings better then we do. I am in Oregon. I truly wish I knew where more
        People lived. I hope you will give me your thoughts on my message. Peggy
        We are here for a reason. Never let anyone tell you different. Ok

        Karen L McCutcheon. Write me please. Ok. GOD loves us ,
        Love to

      43. i lost my wife when i just turned sixty.i have a son 33 he just got engaged i work 5 days a week i am going to be 71 but don’t look it i am lonely without my wife my brother tells me never retire i would go crazy but he doesn’t understand he has a wife i would like friends to go to dinner with all my friends are dead now i miss a female to talk to about anything. frank

      44. Hi Frank, I am 63 going on about 16 lol. I dont look my age and hard to find anyone that likes to have fun.. Cruising in my yellow Camaro convertible keeps me sane! I lost my husband 2 years ago.. ✌️

      47. Hi Frank,
        Where do you live? I am in Eugene Oregon .
        Maybe by now you have met someone to go and do things with??
        As the post was a few months ago.
        It’s hard to tell who is getting a response on here, but I am working on it. Lol
        Smiles
        Erika

      49. This is for Gloria, I can’t tell whose “reply” button I’ve hit! I’m in Live Oak, Texas, right outside SA. Maybe we could chat once in awhile? I never considered myself a lonely person, but since at 71, I now have health issues which make me feel that I’m very alone. No one to talk to about worries, etc. I’d just like someone to “visit” with sometimes. I have pets to take care of, I try to go to the gym but still haven’t made it on a regular basis. I’m interested in a lot of different things but having money to do and go is always an issue. Anyway, if you’d like to chat my email is gertrude712@gmail.com. Best wishes, Helen W……I noticed there’s another Helen so I’m Helen W.

      52. i am 72 lost my wife 6 years ago after being married from 1963 to 2012,i have done well in life i will share my life with a nice woman. I love travel
        going out for dinner and you never know what might happen love might happen 1 more time,,,plus i would be able to help a woman that m9ght a hand with bills or grand kids lol to make a happy family i hope i might find a woman that between the both we might finish our lives with being someone she can hold on to and not worry, i know this might sound strange but if everyone was like me and maybe her see how all would be different in life..

      53. Hi Anthony, my name is Shirley. I lost my husband 2.5 years ago.. I still work so that keeps me occupied. I like to have fun and would like to meet someone with a sense of humor and similar interests.. I am a young 64 year old lady. I live in Illinois. Where do you live?

      56. Hi Frank, I am a 70 year old. Lost my Husband a year ago. Would love to correspond with you. I live in South Africa and my Name is Brenda.

      57. Hi
        I’m a 66 year old small women
        I love everyone that seemed to be my downfall
        I.was married 32 years to a narsist
        I just want to be happy no money required
        I live make8ng do with what I have
        I gave him everything I the divoice I just wanted out of a loveless violent marriage
        Money to me is evil but necessary for bills
        I don’t need fancy things
        I live buying second hand
        I’m just tired of being used
        I just want someone who loves me to hold me at nite and kiss me for no reason
        I’m a person who’s always trying to help others instead of myself I know I need to stop it because I always get taken advantage of but I also know it’s not going to stop because that’s who I am
        I would live to talk when you have the time
        Love
        Martha
        Nickname
        Marley

      58. why are you folks so darn needy? Why must you be around people to feel good? Nowadays real friends dont exist. Their company is shallow. Focus instead on your self worth, learning, traveling, eating, music etc. If you have good healthcare, you already have a luxury many dont have. If you really need sex, just offer sex directly. Believe me men will hump anyone. He may not want to go out with you (bc men are immature and want to put out a certain image) but in private yes he will sex you. Im glad at 33 i am already self sufficient. being alone older will not bother me in the least.

      59. Hi HHH,
        In all due respect, needy does not equal lonely or visa vetsa.
        It is great at “”33” you have things so worked out.
        I’m not saying it in a rude context, but come you age 63 as myself. Then you can review where you are at in comparison.
        At 33, I had everything figured out as well as thought things would not change.
        Smiles
        Erika

      60. hhh, looks like you’ve left a couple of posts. It’s harder to have kids and lose then, especially by death or being disowned for no good reason. You’re smart if you can be happy by yourself. If you’re happy living alone or sharing expenses with a roommate, those can be god too. I don’t want to live alone, as I’ve been born with a depression gene. My mom’s side is riddled with depression, thus the community home I am planning. Just hope I can find people for it when I soon relocate.

      62. erica im 33 and I grown accustomed to having no relationship or friends. at all. by choice, because Im a misanthrope. I can understand how PHYSICAL limitations may come up in the future, which is why taking care of yourself and having health insurance is important. But most of the older people here arent talking about serious physical limitations that make it impossible to live. nor excruciating physical pain. nor being homeless. See those are REAL problems and I would only worry in older age if I didnt have those basic needs met. What most of you guys are whinging about is being “lonely” because nobodys around. I say who cares? if you eat, have a roof, healthcare and still get around, then why does it matter ic others are around or not? getting to enjoy your own company and entertaining yourself is important. I dont think i will have any problem aging alone as long as my physical needs are met. Ive already lived without partnern kids or friends for 8 years. I even work on my own too.

      63. Hi Frank,
        Where do you live?
        There is not much rhyme or reason to the responses.
        I can’t tell who is responding to what.
        I’m in Eugene Oregon
        Erika

      64. hhh, you do have a point. Seems most on here have enough money for necessities but many have been disowned or simply cast aside in every way by their families, even their own children and some don’t even know why they’ve seemingly been disowned. I don’t know why they have no friends. I DO have a severe physical disability: an “invisible” but very real spine problem which limits my sitting time to 1/5 hours a day and standing is even worse. I go shopping with a lot of pain, strain….after 30 minutes leaning over a shopping cart, I feel like I’d give anything to get off my feet if I had to! Also the “car culture”, the need to go almost everywhere by car…I hate it! I like public transportation, but with the extreme cold most of the year here in PA and some extreme heat, the only good public transportation is taxi service! So I think here I’ve defended both you and some of the older people on here. And btw, i’m 64, and have had sitting disability with mild standing disability starting at age 51.

      65. Hi Frank,
        I feel your pain. It isn’t easy to live alone after a spouse dies. Get involved with your church and check out some of the over 60 groups in your town. By all means, get out of the house. Good luck to you.

        Rita

      66. Hi Fran

        How are you

        What State do you live in ? I live inUpland,Ca
        Calif … I am looking for long term relationship
        I work in the medical field long hours but that all
        I do ..
        Please feel free to contact me …

      67. Good morning Frank. I’m a widow living in Florida. Working and happy go lucky lady. But, I would like to meet a good man that really needs a good friend. I don’t have a problem being single, but I miss sharing my life, with somebody that has the same needs. Today I turned 63, still good looking, abd healthy. I hope everything is Ok with you. Karin

      71. Hi Malcom
        Your comment made me sad. I do understand. I have no obligations with my 4 adult children and I do not see them. They are busy with their own lives. I recently moved in a 55 year old community which has it’s ups and downs. I come from the health care industry, later law enforcement so I can be a loner although the park has lots to offer plus I’m in the hub of a great city. Maybe I’m still getting use to being alone. I thought I was way past that. I feel like time is flying and my money is not. Would that help? Yes I think so. I just do not like feeling depressed.

      72. Hi T,
        Erika here. I am really sorry to hear about your back spasms be problem. That must be really hard.
        The people who have had children who just go about their own business with not a thought of alone be mom or dad, well
        I would hope that they change. I just lost my mom in June. She was 95. I’m the baby of 4, and I think the most devestated.
        Fortunately for her she was still about her own mind and mostly independent. She had a major stroke and passed in a few hours.
        I totally love people, but just woyld like a guy to be married to this last 3rd of my life.
        The -I guess guy HHH, it’s sad that some people don’t need others. I think that we were created to look be people but the world is looking dim.
        I have taken notice-finally to the local parks and recreation that have many coffee l trips and events. I am signing up for those!!
        Anyone live in Eugene Oregon? I’m always happy to walk or if you are bound to your home- let me visit you!
        Smiles
        Erika

      73. Hello Malcolm, I am new to this forum and I wrote you a very very lengthy message and somehow or other I clicked something and lost it…. so basically I wanted to thank you for sharing your thoughts and your feelings. I too 66 and I live alone and I have no children. I Went through a divorce a few years ago that I did not want and I am recovering from betrayal and trying to start over.
        I hope I can figure out how we can possibly communicate again and bless your heart and I wish you the best.
        SherryM

      75. To Sherry, Sue or anyone in or near Myrtle Beach, SC, or who would considering living there, I’m in PA near Philly but I hate it here and love the South and beachy areas. No kids, very little family left, feel very vulnerable and I’m disabled, living on pension and SS. Landlord wannabe.

      80. ……and I would like to hear from anyone, anywhere who believes aging rejuvenation treatment will probably be a reality in the near future, enabling most of us alive now to have a chance to become younger biologically, (while of course growing older chronologically), giving us an indefinitely increased lifespan. guessmyneeds@yahoo.com

      84. I am a 66 year old widow in good health. Moved back to California from Arizona after husband was called to heaven. Very interested in communicating with other seniors. Life is too short.

      86. This is to Sued, Since I’m physically disabled, I’d need someone to do most of the physical work to run a bnb. It’s not a bad idea once I have people to help. These people will be relied on 100% so they must live in. Also I need general helpers around the home almost full time. It’s actually for my mom and husband also since we’re all physically disabled. I would need to learn how to screen overnight guests. Not sure even how to screen the live-in workers. I would like to have a community home more than any other type because I need people to count on to be around. Bnb I guess is what people used to call a boarding house. Open to this in the future.

      90. I agree, the common thread is everyone is looking for someone to communicate with. Simple friendship. It should be easier than it seems to be.
        I’m a 74 year old widow in Charlotte,NC. I have family here & friendships but everyone has lonely times. Things change unexpectantly when you become a widow.
        I’m happy to email anyone who wants a pen pal. Or have coffee with anyone in my area.

      92. Hi Connie,

        63 living in So. Ca also. Looking for companion for movies, dinner, theater and maybe some travel adventures. Single mother divorced since 86, never remarried. 2 boys one I lost in 2007, although my youngest is still very attentive I’m looking for someone whose my age and still wants to enjoy life.
        coolkizzy1@gmail.com

      94. Me Too! I just wish I had someone to talk with – anyone! My family members are gone , hubby passed on a few years ago. I have only one really good friend and she moved years ago with her family. I’m 70, still working (thank God), and healthy but feel very lonely.

      95. Hi,Malcom I m with you on this ,loneliness and grown Children. I’m financially ok but I need a friend not a lover.I’m 65 live by myself with 3 dogs and one cat. I still like to have fun but all my friends are soo much younger.I hope we both find a companion.

      97. Hi Malcolm,
        I am age 63, 64 this November. Been alone 3 years now.
        Seems like all the men my age want younger women.
        I am active, and told that I look younger than my age.
        Does not seem to make a difference.
        You can certainly send me a note. I live in Oregon.
        Where do you reside?
        Smiles
        Erika

      99. Hi Erika,
        I live in the Seattle area but my son is the conductor for the Eugene women’s chorus. I am 66 and many of his singers are close to my age. They have a wonderful time! I’m sure if you google Eugene Women’s chorus that info will come up! Good luck!
        Patsi

      100. Hi Parsi,
        Thank you for the info on the Woman’s Choir. I did look it up, I’m not sure of you were indicating to contact to join them? That would be nice if I could only sing. LOL. Well not totally off key, I can sing in church, but I think in a choir they would not want me and that is ok though. Or maybe hookup for friendship?
        Thank you
        Smiles
        Erika

      103. I know about sadness ive not seen my daughter in 10 yrs also . Kids are cruel and selfish. I live in orlando but selling my home i wAnna move out of fl . Im a retired female used car dealer for over 30 yrs.

      104. Gail, I live in Weeki Wachee, also in California, Vallejo City, retired Registered Nurse for 50 years., I am 71 and looking for a friend. I am very alone , no family member.
        At this time of my life I am just too late for anything.
        Take care.

      105. Gail, are you leaving Florida? I’m planning to soon go from PA to SC,, but the plan is to eventually go to Florida, possibly Orlando, maybe Lake Mary.

      106. I am 61 nut the rest of your comment applies to me. You woulkd think, in this technological age, there would be things like Skypew Communities, where people could discover others who share their interests and with whom they could at least have vodeo chats, no matter what their geographical location.

      107. Hi I am a irish lady who was married for 45yrs to a violent alcholic who eventually left me for a lady older than me I thought been alone would be wonderful but alas I find the loneliness crippling my 2 grown up children are married and live in another country and been isolated for so long in my marriage have no friends afraid they might know i was battered please know that the world is full of loneliness M

      108. Hi Malcolm,

        You must have gotten lots of replies. I look for a male friend to chat to have some company, even though it may be remote. It could be a start. I know loneliness very well too. I’m just like you, pretty good health, don’t socialize much and cannot meet people since I work from home. My email is gb7402@hotmail.com. Maybe we can start chatting on whatssap or something. Reply to me if you’d like a friend/company. I am about to turn 55 years old. My name is Graciela.

      109. I am going to be 70 in July and I don’t go out, I don’t have no one to go out with , I would like to meet some people around my age at time I feel so lonely

      112. Im around your age and most people also think im younger! I have been moving from state to state in hope to just to connect with the someone! I thinking about selling my house and move to a smaller town where people might be more open and friendly!! I would like to enjot my life again!! This loneliness is not for me!! Nita

      113. Hello, I’m recently turned 59 years young 2 weeks ago, and praying to meet a nice deceit man for companionship, and just simply Christian fun. Im AA and live in the carolinas.

      114. I am 66 to I don’t look it I’m still very active and doing well my husband passed away almost 2 years ago I still work I still work not that I have to I volunteer my time I get up with a purpose every day to do something nice for somebody

      115. Hi Malcom, where are you from? I am also in my early 60’s, it is very hard at times meeting people when you are older. Although I am very active and outgoing it still can be difficult. If you would like to chat e mail me, lcrem51@gmail.com

      116. Hi Malcolm, I dont know if you received my previous comment, I am brand new to this site. I am also in my early 60’s, and know it can be extremely hard at times meeting new people, although I am very active and outgoing it can still be hard. If you would like to chat please e mail me at lcrem51@ gmail.com

    2. Email me if you’re still alone. I just lost my wife in January,2017. I miss having a person to live with and share with. At 87 I may sound old but I have a dear friend aged 55 who finds me attractive but is married and not about to disrupt her family by leaving him. Any interest? I am a sincere devout Christian and that is totally important to me

      Reply to Gordon

      1. Vivian: if you look me up on Facebook you will see who I am and what my Christian philosophy is as well as a lot of photos of my precious recently departed Beautiful wife of 68 years. We started keeping company at age 16 and never quit till she died five months ago. But she is gone, and in not coming back, and I miss her like a part of my being is gone with her. If you trace my Facebook page back to January of this year, you’ll see the whole sad story and also the kind of friends that I have. Thanks for sending me your message

      2. Hi Gordon,
        Thank you for the response. It would be nice to have someone to share dinners, movies and just talking. I’ll try and find you on Facebook. Do I need a last name?
        What are your interests? It would be nice to get to know you.
        Enjoy your day.
        Vivian:))

      6. Hi guys, just like the person who said that they click on the click here to see reply, well there is something wrong because it just directs you to the top of ALL the comments, annoying actually.
        Erika

      7. I’m 65 year old divorcee, still working. My children are grown with their families. We talk, but it is no comparison to someone who’s interests are shared. I love dressing up so I attend church regularly and sing in a few choirs. I too wish I just had one to talk to. Maybe I will email someone.

      8. Where are you living? I am in Orange County, Ca. and am 76 though I am in good health and people say I am still attractive (slim and active). I, too, am a Christian and would love a man to talk to and possibly visit (meet up). I am divorced, have one daughter, and have never truly adjusted to being alone. God has been good to me as I have a regular income and all I need but loneliness keeps me from wanting to go out much though I have many interests. E-mail me if you care to chat further.

      9. Gordon – Where are you living? I am in Orange County, Ca. and am 76 though I am in good health and people say I am still attractive (slim and active). I, too, am a Christian and would love a man to talk to and possibly visit (meet up). I am divorced, have one daughter, and have never truly adjusted to being alone. God has been good to me as I have a regular income and all I need but loneliness keeps me from wanting to go out much though I have many interests. E-mail me if you care to chat further.

    3. hello Karman being lonely and lonesome is a terriable feeling i know i am a 76 yr. young white male could pass for 60 so i have been told. i lost my lovely and beautiful wife of 51 yrs. to cancer. two yrs. ago and i am a very lonesome man. i have a condition that keeps me from going out much where i might meet a beautiful lady,so i don’t get out much.oh i go fishing quite a bit and ride my motorcycle a lot i love to ride,but i don’t like crowds. i would love to talk to you about your being so lonesome. if you would like to talk my name is Jackie Smith i live in the beautiful Ozark mount. of Arkansas Bentonville,AR. the home of wall mart i love it hear so much to do and see,if you want to email me my address is motorcycleman@gmail.com love to hear from you Jackie.

      Reply to Jackie Smith

      1. I can feel your pain as I type. I have lost all hope also. Perhaps we won’t be able to help each other ..I am early 70 ish. Had 3 children 2 boys and a girl. My sons have disowned me. I don’t know why. I am heart-broken. I recently move, a month ago. It is very hard to live for me. I have no incentive to go ine and would like the floor to open up and swallow me. I will wish you hope and courage. Lillian

      2. Hi Lillian,
        I feel your pain, I am alone too, I have two sons but they disowned me 10 year now. And I don’t know why. Just heart broken. I were a nurse and retired 10 years ago. I am 72 year old. I have no relative or family or friend , just me and myself.
        About a year now, I don’t want to go out of the house. I am not feeling good. I am so glad to find this site and find someone has the same situation like me. I live in Vallejo, Ca.
        Take care.

      4. Hi Lillian,
        I feel your pain, I am alone too, I have two sons but they disowned me 10 year now. And I don’t know why. Just heart broken. I were a nurse and retired 10 years ago. I am 72 year old. I have no relative or family or friend , just me and myself.
        About a year now, I don’t want to go out of the house. I am not feeling good. I am so glad to find this site and find someone has the same situation like me. I live in Vallejo, Ca.
        Take care.

      5. I am so sorry . Can you try to reach out to your children? I am a Nurse also. I know how hard the job is while bringing up kids. You should not be treated this way and deserve good people in your life.

      6. I live in So Cal… and find myself alone too much. I have a good sense of humor and like to do things – however I do not have friends anymore – they have moved away etc… I would like to make friends………but nor sure how to at this stage. I have joined groups but still have not made individual friendships… having spent most of my life in relationship it’s now hard to pick up the pieces of being single…

      7. I frank I’m at that age also. I don’t know what state you live in I’m in Illinois. I feel the same way. my girlfriend live on the south side of the city. I would like someone my age to have dinner with also. let me know if you want to talk. Maybe exchange numbers. hope that your family don’t judge a book by its color.

      9. Hi Mary, thanks so much for your concerns. Yes I did try to reach out, by messages and mails, but no returns so I gave up.
        They disowned me after they finished college, they are well educated. Now they had moved and I don’t know where they are.
        I were the best mother , in millions years I would never thought my sons treat me this way. It hurt so much.
        At my age, I consider my life is over, and I accept what will happen at the end of my life.
        Thank so much and I am very greafull to all of you.
        Take care and God bless.

      10. To Lillian ,
        This is Sue, I am very interested to corresponding with you. We have something in common, we both had been disowned by our sons and both in very deep depression. I just hope and pray that you find peace with yourself.
        Take care.

      13. I’m in Orlando and would love to have friends to talk with and go out. My only son does not bother with me but I’m sure he is very busy. I am 61 y/o female and love to do things…anything.

      14. I feel the same. I’m 60 years old, divorced for 13 years. Used to drink heavily so had lots of so called friends. I no longer drink, and now have no one. I just want a friend. I have 4 kids, 3 girls and a son. My one daughter has disowned me, and is pregnant with my granddaughter I’ll never see. I do not get along with my oldest daughters 8 year boyfriend, and so I’m no longer invited to family functions. I’m imcredibly alone. Am presently on a leave of absence from my job due to extreme depression. Men my age want younger woman, and I really just want friendship

      15. Hello. My name is Arnold. I am 77 years old. My wife died over a year ago and I am totally alone. My three sons do not talk to me. They want money. I have a home but hate to be alone. I really need a companion. I live near Austin, Texas.

      16. I couldnt agree with you more. Its a tough world for seniors. I would really enjoy being more connected to women and men socially. Just sharing thoughts or helping one another.

      1. I feel your pain. I am 65 and just lost my one true love Dec. 31 of last year and my children have disowned me too and i dont know why. I am so very lonely. Some days are just unbearable. I would love to be able to travel but i am very limited on my funds and i cant work because of back problems so i feel there is no purpose for me any more. I live in Utah. Diane

      2. Diane, I don’t know you from a hole in the wall but I can tell you this. You have a purpose in this life. Everyone does. Of course, living in Utah does not help. Only kidding. I heard twenty people who live there, love it. I am a 73 year old married man with a disabled wife who I look after now as I have become her “caregiver”. Therein lies my purpose in life. We are basically roommates now, but like they said, “in sickness and in health”. Feel free to write to me if you wish. I live in Florida.

      3. Joe, hi there. This is a new blog to me, and as I’ve read down through all the experiences we “older” folks have, I’m most struck and happily by your sense of humor!! Thanks so much for this. I believe loneliness is a temporary cloud that visits, but the isolation is what can be so unraveling! At 67, I’m just so thankful to be here at all, but I’ve always felt that way. Earlier this year I was diagnosed with bladder cancer and so i have a new goal to beat this, but I try to focus on living. I am an artist still in some ways searching for my muse, but it makes life interesting and joyful.
        I wish you well from my heart. I have an acquaintance whose wife has deteriorated for a decade with Alzheimer’s and he too carries the weight of love tested beyond what most may face. I would be a friend if you would like to communicate. I’m in Houston but hope to return one day to the west coast, maybe back to Puget sound. The beauty is astounding, a walk through a forest can bring everyone a renewed sense of wonder and peace. Best to you and everyone here.

    6. Hi Karmen Franco. I am 55 and we have almost the same thing in common that we’re dealing with. I just came about this site on google when I wasn’t even looking for it. Here I am. My name is Kendrick. I lost my wife 5 years back. Age is just a number as I am not letting age factor hinder me from my happiness. If you feel we can get to know each other and see where it will lead to then you can write me shazzy4455@gmail.com. Good night.

      Reply to Kendrick Klass

      2. I will try to check out Pacific Heights, but if anyone can tolerate the headaches and do it right, being a landlord is almost a money machine. Most can’t afford to live off the rental income 100% but it’s surely a business where you can have regrets if you don’t know how to be a proper landlord. Many people are doing it so it can’t be all bad. I think the biggest failure is not getting good tenants. Renters usually don’t have much money and there is a high proportion of mentally ill renters, so these need to be avoided. I would think anyone doing Section 8, group homes, sober houses or anything along those lines needs to have extra experience and maybe extra money or extra risk tolerance.

      3. I will try to check out Pacific Heights, but if anyone can tolerate the headaches and do it right, being a landlord is almost a money machine. Most can’t afford to live off the rental income 100% but it’s surely a business where you can have regrets if you don’t know how to be a proper landlord. Many people are doing it so it can’t be all bad. I think the biggest failure is not getting good tenants. Renters usually don’t have much money and there is a high proportion of mentally ill renters, so these need to be avoided. I would think anyone doing Section 8, group homes, sober houses or anything along those lines needs to have extra experience and maybe extra money or extra risk tolerance. Plus I have no choice, due to a physical disability that greatly limits my sitting and standing time. Meanwhile I must be supported by my husband.

    7. I am also a woman your age who never married but was very involved with my siblings and their children. Nieces & nephews are now grown and living around te country. So I am experiencing incredible loneliness. Do you have any ideas how to cope with this feeling at this stage of life?

      Reply to Carol Gevlin

    9. Hi Karman.
      I am brand new to the site and wondered what area of the country you live in ?
      I am in central Arkansas.
      I am glad I found this site and hope that by supporting each other in a nonjudgmental way we can find Positive solutions to each of our unique situations.
      My frustrations with using a dating site is that most of the men that I have met are extremely conservative and I am somewhat more liberal in my political thinking.
      It would be nice to find a companion that I could share my political views and enjoy that kind of company.

      Reply to SherryM

    10. No you are not alone…..I am in my upper 70s, extremely active and very healthy…..I feel just exactly as you do. All men are looking for is younger women, so I have given up on them.

      I have a daughter in another state, I am in tx, another daughter 35 miles away from me , 2 grand sons – they are all too busy for me and I have a son in south tx who is a workaholic ….. so what does a mom do. I love to travel but do not want to travel alone. My friends have become my family, but I would still love to have my children visit me now and then or ask me to come and see them. I do not expect a formal invitation, but when I mention going to see them it’s always “will let you know”. Loneliness is a terrible feeling.

      Reply to Laurel Burnett

    11. Hi Karmen, I am Cheryl…65 I just found this page as I again try to adjust to living totally alone, except for my big dog and best friend Isabella. Sorry to hear of the passing of your husband, that is never easy. I was married for close to 25 years when my husband decided to run off and leave me and our teenagers after moving us to another state and then try to try understand what happened to him???? some things in Life take us on some crazy trails… and learning to live again alone is very challenging to say the least… it is trully a learning and growing experience, sometimes very peaceful and nice and then all at once its so quiet and lonesome. I finished a medical treatment in 2016, am better now but sill feel the fatigue, but when I start with stinking thinkin I try to remind myself to get busy attacking a project of which there are always way to many. I was finally able to get a ymca membership to try and do water aerobics and take better care of me, which is not always easy… but very needed in order to keep up.. I know also that reading the statistics on how many married people or those with partners also get lonely. Which I felt in my marriage also… so I guess it is good to know that we are not alone in those days where we feel lonely. Nice chatting….

      Reply to Cheryl

    12. You are hardly alone. Reading all the replies there are many many others like you. As a matter of fact I found this site wondering who else feels lonely even after an accomplished life. I believe it is a cultural matter the absence of options for mature people to integrate and enjoy life. I’m 60 and look younger, but even from my own children I perceive a distance that grows bigger with time. I hope we persevere in working to find a life full of adventure and new dreams. Our heart still beats and our feelings run deeper than before. Looks are only circumstantial, soul to soul communication is more important now. I wish you all and myself the best.

      Reply to Lucia

    13. Hello Karmen
      I am in the same situation as you. You are right that it does ease the burden of loneliness to know other people are in similar situations. Not that I want anyone else to be lonely because its tough. So every day I do my best to stay positive. Dating is a whole different world now
      Hoping the best for you.

      Reply to Connie

    14. I have been talking online with lots of guys from South Asia and they’re interested even though I’m 64. Many people nowadays are going overseas to find love when they’re older as in the show 90 Day Fiance.

      Reply to Sherry

    15. I am 71 years old, I feel alone all the time, I am active and healthy , I have going to the senior center to play bingo, mah Jong and some times eating lunch there. But when getting back home, I still feel lonely and depressed . I don’t sleep much, maybe 2 hours a night. I am worry about the future down the road, oh boy golden year is not golden as I thought of.

      Reply to Suedo

      1. Suedo and others, so many people seem to have the empty nest syndrome. I would hate having to live alone. I got to idea for a community home when I realized my household of 3 is just too small for me. I grew up in a 4 generation home and it was great. Now I need to create a similar home but it will be with friends or live in workers or rooming tenants or a combination. Look for a solution, don’t let it take you down, especially now that aging rejuvenation is actually very close. Been following this only since the 1990’s and I can tell, it’s really close to at least start to slow aging with medical control. It’s bad to feel you greatly lack sleep, Suedo. Really you need to think hard about a solution. Leave no stone unturned. Your life depends on it.

      2. Sherry,
        What a good idea. I plan to run an Airbnb right in my home. The house is rented right now. Why not run a little business and meet a bunch of people all over ?
        I have to do something to keep myself busy before I go nut.

    18. I don’t know how long it’s been since you put that post on here but hey my name is Diane I am 59 years old a Christian woman that lives alone and I am a very lonely isolated person I never dreamt that as I age my life would become so empty I really need some good girlfriends to share life with to share laughs with to share meals with to share a life stories with I just don’t have any friends anymore I just feel more lonely everyday

      Reply to Diane Roberson

      2. Hi Joy, I dont know if your friend is still looking for a companion, but would love to get to know him. I presently live in North Carolina but am moving to Florida in the next few weeks. I dont really have much family. Two sons, that are always to busy with their families to really even bother. I just somehow stumbled onto this site tonight, so I am brand new and not to sure how it really works yet. But my e mail address is lcrem51@gmail.com. would love a new friend.

  74. I am 53 and have been married for 28 years. We have a big age difference. I feel emotionally battered for reasons I will not go into here. Suffice it to say my husband decided he wants a divorce. I am uncertain as to whether he will follow through or not. I live in a rural area where there simply is not work that I can support myself. I currently work 3 part time jobs and still don’t make enough to support myself. Most of the jobs in this area require someone to be able to lift 50 pounds repetitively or push and pull heavy weight which I can’t do due to a partial shoulder replacement. I need a secure job first where I can support myself and I guess I will figure the rest out later. From home might actually be preferable because at this point I think I’d like to get a good dog and forget about humans for awhile. I’ve been looking all day on the internet at jobs and most of them sound so technical I don’t have a clue what they mean. I learn computer programs quickly with hands on training but hate webinars. I have to learn live and hands on. Thanks for any suggestions or thoughts. This is all new to me, although I guess it really shouldn’t be.

    Reply to RS

    1. RS I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through, although you do sound like a strong woman. I want to recommend an online support site that I am currently using to help get through a difficult relationship breakup. ‘MDjunction’ support site has many different groups for many varied life problems. There are no fees, no professional counselors, but they do have moderators. It has been very helpful for me. Best wishes to you in the future, keep your head up, you will find a way to a better place in life.

      Reply to sue

    2. CAN SOMEONE TELL ME HOW TO FIND THE REPLIES THAT I CLICK ON IN THE EMAILS SENT TO ME THAT SAY I HAVE A RESPONSE AS I NEVER CAN FIND THEM WHEN I CLICK ON THE LINK SENT TO ME AND I HAVE WRITTEN THE OWNERS OF THIS SITE TWICE AND THEY NEVER RESPOND? THANK YOU.
      SUCH IS THE ONE SENT TO ME TODAY:
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
      The user Joe Siczpak left a comment in a thread you participated in on Senior Planet.

      > We raised two successful boys. > Our oldest son and his family live over 2,000 miles away and it’s been over 3yrs since we have seen them. It’s jyst way to expensive to fly .!! For either side. > Our youngest son lives 45min away and only see them once a month. They always say they…

      Click here to see the comment.
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
      I CLICK TO SEE THE COMMENT AND IT IS NEVER THERE? WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?

      Reply to CINDY HAYNES

      1. Hi Cindy, unfortunately our system doesn’t support links directly to the reply—or even to the comment it’s in reply to. However if you scroll down to the comments under the article, you’ll see that each reply is embedded directly under the comment it’s replying to, and the comments themselves are in reverse chronological order. We know it’s a lousy system. We’re considering updating to a new system that would show you the whole reply and let you respond by email. We’d love to know if you think that would make it better.

      2. Cindy Haines, I’ve had the same problem as you! I have to scroll about 25% down to see the comments posted after mine. It takes a long time. When I scroll halfway I get to posts mostly from 2016, with a few from 2017 scattered in. I think the best thing is for people who want replies to include some contact info with their posts and I see some have done this. Not sure of the best or safest. As a last resort maybe set up a new email address just for this or similar email and hope no scammer or crackpot gets ahold of it. If no problems seem to crop up after testing out the new email addy, come back to this site and post something to one of the posts you see first, meaning one that appears recent and near the top of the page and give your facebook page and an alternate, such as a twitter page or blog page with a comment section.

      3. Hi Sherry,,, I totally agree with you. Look, I am now 72 years old, lived in NYCity most of my life…moved to Florida for about 20 years or so,,,and life brought me back to the City,,,which is now nothing more than a 3rd world dump,,,not the City I once knew and loved. Anyway, bad mistake…many mistakes in my life…unfortunately. I am now stuck with a myriad of issues,,health mostly (since I returned) scared to death,,,no family (all deceased) 2 friends who have their own problems and are of no use. Boy many years ago, this was a different society we had…today ihere is absolutely no resemblance to what used to be. Anyway, what I would give to have a wonderful support system of friends,,,,REAL FRIENDS, where we are THERE for one another. I fear dying like a “withered” leaf/flower, all alone in this apartment and, sometimes even considering how to end it all.
        I am someone who just loved Rock,,from the 80’s,,esp.,,70’s and of course growing up as a kid in the 50’s and 60’s. I truly wish you all well,,,esp those on in years who find themselves ALONE…this sis a terrible society today,,,in another generation you mostly always had family and some support system in life. God, I just pray every day,,,please, let me go home,,,I cannot take the STRESSES I am having to endure on a daily basis anymore. Don’t believe in organized religion anymore,,,,tired to death of praying and hoping someone or something is listening. Let’s face it,,,we all have our DESTINY, which I believe in and for a reason as well. We will try our best, but I can only absorb just so much pain (mentally and physically)….that is why some people take their own lives. Wishing you all the Blessings of the Universe….and I am also a huge animal lover,,,Staunch animal rights advocate and a “Cat” lover. Have had them all my life but no more. The most innocent little should on the planet,,,,the animal kingdom. Hope my post finds you well, in all respects. Artemis

      4. Artemis, try to hang in there. I am curious about your health problems and if they are treatable. Bad things seem to pile up as people get older. I have a chance to move South, which I’m betting will remove some of the bad that’s accumulated for many years. I hate lving in PA. I am wondering how the Phila. area plays into my problem of not having family or friends, as I find it to be an unfriendly place. Not driving didn’t help me, especially once I moved out of the city. Came back to the city when I was 19 but only for 2 years total — not long enough. Looking back I should have seen all my cousins virtually ignoring me, as they had ALWAYS done very close to that. The only times I saw them was when our parents got together, but I didn’t realize that at the time.

        This thread is so active and now it sends me right to the post! Hope it’s happened that way for you too. Before I just ended up at the very top, with no idea how far down the comment was.

        Anytime you want to talk, I am here and I’m sure there are many others here to talk with. If you’re having trouble finding locals…yeah, that’s a big problem with me too, as I was saying. I feel very isolated but I still have my husband and mother. I am probably in the best health of the 3 of us here.

        Yes it is a very different world from what we grew up in. I can’t pin down the year or even the decade, but look at the school shootings. I think to myself it may be the increased population but can’t be that because if the population has tripled, for example, we should have 3 times the shootings, but until the 1990’s I didn’t know of any school shootings. Wish I knew how all these bad changes came about. It still seems most people are devoted to their nuclear families but since I’m no longer in one and have very little contact with anyone in one currently, I don’t know what’s going on, don’t know the general details. I guess it’s the most consistent thing I can think of. It’s the extended family that seems now to be fragmented, with people left out. That’s exactly what everyone’s saying on this thread.

      5. Artemis, and I’m an animal lover too. Had dogs and cats most of my life. Have not had any since my mom and I moved into separate cities back in1990 but we’ve been back into the same home since 1991. We have no pets because we’ve had to keep the house and yard as pristine as possible to re-sell it but we’re still here since 1997. Suspected a cat allergy after my boyfriend and I got a few of them and I tested positive for cat allergy about 20 years ago. I guess with your health problems a pet would be too much. If I were alone I’d probably get 1 or 2 small dogs, regardless of the condition of the house.

  75. I’m a 49 year old male with no kids, and very few social outlets (family/friends. I lost my job about 6 months ago, and the likelihood of replacing my income seems poor. Things I do have now are my health (knock on wood), and a decent amount of savings.

    Oh, and I am married. The thing is though, my marriage is a passionateless facade where I feel I’m just settling. But I am terrified of growing old alone. I feel trapped! What to do???

    Reply to Dan

    1. I am 53 years old. Been widowed for 5 1/2 years. Got 2 grown children. My husband died unexpectedly at 47 year’s old of heart attack. I never expected him to die, he was suppose to out live me. We had a good marriage. In 2013 I met a guy online and we ended up married for a month before we realized we made a mistake and got divorced. Then in 2014 I met another man who I seemed to connect with. We got a place together with my kids (my son has high autism) and my daughter was finishing school. This man treated my kids like slaves, they each paid 650 a month to live in the house. (Daughter finished school and got job) my kids could do no right, and eventually neither could I, I finally got the guts to leave him which I did, now it’s just me and my son living in a rental house that we both hate. I’m suppose to start a job in a grocery store this Tuesday. What I am finding is that I love being married, it’s all I know,I was married to the love of my life at 19. We were married for almost 28 years. There has to be a reason these other 2 marriages failed. I’m scared of ending up old and alone.

      Reply to mary Crawford

      2. Unfortunately. I met both ex husband’s on pof. Maybe there’s another one for me.I don’t know. Not even sure i would ever take the vows again.

      1. Right on Bertha! I’m 70 also, I love being retired..I am FREE..FREE at last! I can’t wait until winter comes and I leave for the southwest desert to soak up the sun till spring. I don’t have enought money for a fancy RV, so I have a conversion van that i made into a little motel room and I love it. You meet nice people while traveling, and if you are alone you can go anywhere and do anything you want. Don’t be afraid to do something you haven’t tried before, life is short…enjoy!

    1. Hello people . I read all your message . Is not good be alone .we need eachother . The conversation, is good .we need talk , talk abbout all . I am from Romania , very far , but i would like to chat with all . If you feel alone and need to talk , abbout all writte me . elenaqwert@yahoo.com i like make new friends , not mather the age . Have a great day and never feel alone

      Reply to Elena

    2. Dating sites? Plenty of Fish? More like Plenty of Dogfish, Cowfish, Suckerfish, Whales. Browsing POF is like fishing in a sewer.
      Don’t bother with dating sites, because most people are merely window shopping, and not looking to buy. Also, the older people get, the more they are unwilling to compromise or let anyone else into their world. Get used to it.

      Reply to Joe Siczpak

  77. Hello all, I’m here looking for some advice. My father in law is 74. He is now widowed (almost 2 years ago). My husband is an only child. We have 2 children (14 and 10). My father in law lives in the house that he has lived in for the last 40 years, by himself. We have talked to him about possibly getting a house together so that he is not alone. (he’s commented about his house being too quiet). Is this something that an aging, but not really old, parent would want? He’s diabetic and having some memory issues but definitely fully capable of living his own life and being independent (except that he doesn’t cook at all so he eats out every night). The house we found has an in law suite so if he doesn’t want to hang around us, he can go on his own. We can’t really tell if this is what he wants or not, his comments vary on the subject. My husband thinks he may have offended his dad by talking to him about it. Any words of wisdom? Is this something that a parent would want or do we just let it go? Thank you for any input!

    Reply to Maria Thomson

    1. Hi,
      I just found your comment…sorry a few months later. It is important to feel independence for as long as possible, it keeps us young and viable! Living in the same home for that long, well…it is home! Everything is set, and my mom lived in her home until 90! She was going blind but knew how to get around her own home, she felt secure and I really think that letting her stay as long as she could kept her mind working. Unfortunately, we had to sell her home and move kind of forced from my brothers and sisters (I am the youngest of 5 and no one listens to me). She could have even stayed longer, she always had visitors, daily and it was a way to keep an eye on her and remind her to take her medicine. (people helped make sure that she took the right ones!)

      Once she moved out, she fell apart, was highly disoriented and very depressed. She just went downhill from there. She is a strong woman, we moved her again, due to the place was not very good and things kept going missing…even her rosery’s. sigh. She will be 100 this August but it has been a hard 10 years for her. If he is fine, then let him be! Visit and maybe someone, a student can rent a room?

      Reply to Susan

    2. If you were going to buy a house anyway w/ a in-laws quarters. Just try you and your husband sitting down with him at lunch and explain it only because you both want to visit more and are able so him moving in with you or you both moving in with him? I’m sure you would know how to word it. Pray about it God will give you the right words.. Sue

      Reply to Sue

  78. I think growing old alone is a tough road I’m 54 year old male never married no children.Didn’t plan it this way but that’s how I ended up.Funny how some are lucky and others like me bombed out.
    I like to chat so I find sitting at home by myself every day after work very quiet.
    So I usually just watch tv and go to sleep pretty much same routine every evening.
    I really think you have to be perfect,just average job average company car and home isn’t really enough these days.
    I haven’t got the drive to try and find a partner anymore I’ve tried and failed and if it hasn’t happened by my age seriously it ain’t gonna happen,foolish to think otherwise.
    I know I’ll never be truely happy on my own life will be work sleep repeat,some things in life for people like me are meant to be that way.
    It’s unfair but hey I didn’t make the rules I gave it my best shot.
    Marty

    Reply to Marty

    1. Well let me be real honest here since the women of today are certainly nothing at all like the women in the past were which in those days it was so much more easier finding real love since it really came very easy for the men in those days as well as our family members that were very extremely lucky to be born at that time. Most women now are so damn selfish and so very greedy since now they really want a man that makes a lot of money since it is all about them now unfortunately. Most of the women were very old fashioned since they were raised by very good parents back then that taught them the right way which today their parents are raising their children very wrong since they’re so very pathetic altogether now more than ever which has a lot to do with it. Many of us good single men looking for love is very difficult today since so many women are very nasty with us men when we will try to start a conversation with the one that will attract us since they will Curse at us for no reason at all since i know a friend that had the very same thing happened to him as well since many women nowadays unfortunately are psychopaths and sociopaths as well which really does add to the problem. With so many women having a career today which many of them now are making a six figure income which most of them really think they’re all that which their not at all anyway. They’re the worst of all since they have a very bad attitude problem and feel that us men owe them something which really makes them very sad altogether. With these kind of women out there nowadays which makes it very obvious why many of us men will never find real love at all and will remain single as well thanks to them since it does take two to tango.

      Reply to Paul

      1. I think I know why you’re having difficulty. You seem very negative and judgmental. To say “all women” are the way you describe is not only inaccurate but very off putting. Many people (both genders) have had bad relationships. The gross generalization that “all women “or “all men” are bad won’t get anyone anywhere.

      2. Wow talk about negative Nancy! Do you can I think if you’ve been in many relationships and the women are all the way you say they are there’s one common factor in them. You! Look at yourself and see what you were not adding to the relationship to make her feel that way. I wish you luck in finding happiness but I think it’s gonna be a tough road for you

      3. Hello Marty,
        My name is Brenda I just turned 47 years old,
        I have been single for a long time now. I have 3 grown kids. 2 daughter’s and 1 son,. Ages 30, 29, 25.
        I have 5 grandkids 4 boys and a girl. Unfortunately I only see 2 of the older boys. They’re my everything. 14 years old and 11 years good boys. The 14 year old has Autism,
        But he has all A’s in school and he is very organized. Well like me. The other one well we have to watch and keep on him. He wants everything to be simple and doesn’t like to clean lol. Older one is Edwin and the youngest is Juelz. I pretty much feel lonely alot. I work and come home and do the same routine everyday. I would like to have someone to go out to dinner, walks on the beach, although I’m very shy and don’t wear bathing suit. Every now and then have a drink. Don’t really have friends. Just one friend his name his Marco and he has CP. Half Paralyze. Why he’s my best friend he has what my older sister Maria has CP. I live in RI.
        Would love to chat or exchange numbers and pictures so I know who I’m speaking to. A face is always great to see.
        TTY soon.

      4. Paul makes broad generalizations, yet there is a great deal of truth in his statements.
        American women are *generally* considered to be self-centered, opportunist, materialistic, shallow, needy, insecure, defensive… in a word: unattractive.

        No, I’m not sorry for writing that because it’s a common *generalization*.

        To be fair, American men are *generally* considered to be self-centered, opportunist, materialistic, shallow, needy, insecure, defensive… in a word: unattractive.

        No, I’m not sorry for writing that because it’s a common *generalization*.

        The real issue is whether two people can be willing to take a risk of emotional involvement, which means risk of rejection, risk of not being loved, risk of not being understood, risk of loss. It works both ways.

        Happily, all of us losers- women and men- can soothe our broken hearts by further immersing ourselves in our annoying “stupid” phones and wasting time on faKebook.

      5. Well said Joe, thats exactly how it is, although the men are worse and women are starting to look better and better to me, a team switch is imminent maybe? Lol

      6. Well i know that i made my comment a while ago which most of what i have said is the very truth how the women of today have really changed from the good old days since it definitely was so much easier for the single men in those days looking for real love which unfortunately today is a totally different time we live in now. Most women today are nothing at all like they were back then since so many women now have their careers making a very excellent salary which really has changed them for the worst of all unfortunately. And most of these women will never go with a man that makes much less money than they make since they will usually go for the Rich type of a man anyway since it is all about money for them. Many of times many of these women will use men that have a lot of money since they really want to be very spoiled and will take advantage of these men that have money which is a real shame. And the women of today that are like this are nothing but Users And Losers to begin with since a lot of these young women will go after the much older men that they know that have the money. And many of times us younger men which i am not at all that young since i am in my early sixties myself have trouble meeting women that would be able to Accept us for who we really are since i know friends going through the very same thing right now unfortunately as well. Most women that have their careers today are very money hungry women since they will only want the very best of all and will never settle for less either since it is very obvious how the women of today have really Changed from the old days. And most of these women that us men will talk too have no respect for us good men at all since i am looking for a good woman more my age anyway which is still very difficult today even at my age too. Now i can certainly see why our family members were very Blessed finding real love with one another back then since it was a very different time as you can see compared to today. I wish that i Could’ve have been born at a much earlier time back then since real love really did happen which even i Would’ve met the Right Good Woman and been all Settled Down myself with my own Good Wife And Family that i still Don’t Have Today. Unfortunately just born at a very extremely bad time for many of us Single men which really makes it very sad for us. But i will Never give up. Peace.

      7. Hi Brenda thanks for your lovely reply sorry I haven’t got back to you I haven’t been on this thread for months.
        I live in Australia so we probably are in different countries unfortunately.Nothing much happening this way just got back from my parents place helping with some chores.
        They are both elderly but going ok.
        Well another weekend is drawing to a close pretty much same same for me golf Saturday,sleep in housework Sunday.
        Back to work tomorrow to do it all again lol.The neighbors 2 cats always greet me when I get home, so it’s nice to be wanted.I think though they only really want food though lol.
        It’s funny never marrying and no kids I don’t really fit in with society I’m looked at much differently and treated more unfairly at work also.
        I do try and stay positive and happy but it can be difficult and frustrating at times wondering what is wrong with me?
        It’s definitely a couples world, us bachelors are like a freak of nature.Its no one’s fault it’s just how life turns out for us. Just never found that special person.
        Then I think you don’t actually believe it’s going to happen so you do stop putting in the effort and work and say, you know what it’s all too hard at 55 years old,if it was gonna happen it would have.
        I hope you are keeping well Brenda and are enjoying yourself.
        Regards Marty.

      8. Wow. What strong opinions! I must disagree with you. Not ALL women are this way and at 54, he can find another woman near his age that is wonderful. There are many single older women out there. Or, do older men really want the younger? If it is a generational thing, then I think that finding someone in your generation will be more compatible.
        You must have had some real difficult experiences to be so negative. Or, is it your negativity that throws the women off. Who wants to be around someone with such an attitude? Not me!

      9. I laugh when i see men on dating sites that are over 60 and fat that say they want a woman under 50 under 5’4″ abd under 130 lbs lol they have a nerve

      10. I am a 56 year old attractive lady who looks younger than my years but can’t find even a friend, let alone anything more. Ild be happy just having a great friend at this point but where I live, everybody is coupled up no room for someone like me. I sometimes cry myself to sleep out of loneliness I sometimes don’t leave my home for days. My grown children have abadoned me for reasons none be known to me so I’m left all alone in a strange place with nobody to even talk to. I tried everything nothing works.

      11. Carrie, I’m living the same life, 56 attractive can’t get a date with a guy who’s my age, they’re dating younger women. Older guys too stuck in some cranky place…no friends were I live cause I relocated to be near my grandkids who are too busy for me…my kids are also to busy to even call or text. ..finding a female friend is impossible in this area, I’ve tried for 20 years now….I want to move but have no clue where I’d go….I’m in Illinois not born here but been hete 25 years….I’m not even sure how I manage to get through the lonely weekends but I do….all the best to you, Cheri

      12. 59 male and I know that feeling.. just to find a decent friend in this world is impossible. Life moves too fast for everyone’s good I wish it was 1965 again. Good luck to you. …and yes men cry too…

      13. Hi Tom. Your comment sounds like me! I think quite often about how society has changed so much in recent years (and not for the better!) I’m 58 years young….fond memories of growing up in the 70s. Where do you live?

      15. Carrie,

        Where are you from? I understand your pain, my situation is very close to yours. I took a PT job to help with the loneliness. It helps. I’m 61, retired, and try to keep busy. I live currently in NE Ohio.

        Bill

      16. Just too many very pathetic women everywhere nowadays unfortunately, especially the ones that think they’re all that too. What a laugh that is.

      17. Women in the past were easier to have relationships with, but I know women should make a living whenever possible. In any marriage or relationship I have gender roles have no place except for those nature still forces on us such as pregnancy and the physical strength of men.

    2. Hey how’d it going? I’m 55yrs. old and I do about the same. I go to work come home and spend the nite with my cats. I’m not a cat person but I’ll save that conversation for another time. I watch TV until I go to sleep. Rather boring. I wouldn’t mind chatting with you if you wouldn’t mind chatting with me. So later for now.

      Reply to pam

    3. Hi funny I woke up this morning and heard pray for your husband….What husband Lord I have been single for a decade….Don’t give up,God knows your heart,He created you,He knows we need love. So my dear, ask God to direct you she probably waiting for you too

      Reply to Lilian Haggland

    4. Hi Marty…I don’t know if you got my response, but I have been a widow for a long time now and did not have a marriage made in Heaven. I want a new life but don’t know how to get it, so I plan on moving to The Villages, Florida, where I can be alone and there are so many activities down there, it’s your own fault if you have nothing to do. When I left in 2014 there were over 900 clubs and there are more now. I don’t know if I’ll have lots of friends but I know I’ll have a golf cart and lots of things to do. That’s all I need, I guess. I hope you consider. I might see you there…Michelle

      Google thevillages.com. Make sure it is not Terra Vista, which you will see if you google the villages. The Villages is annotated as the friendliest community. I know there are more in the US but that is the only one I know of and you can get a great looking home for $200,000.00! Turn key, too, where all you have to do is bring your suitcase and everything you need in the house is there, including a gold cart!

      Reply to Michelle

      1. I’m a 62 year old divorced woman. Fifteen years of being a single parent flew by and I supported myself with no respite from my children, so it was pretty exhausting but I did a good job and pat myself on the back.
        I understand why many men of our era are negative about women but it’s not always the case. Times and attitudes have indeed changed leaving ladies as ruthless as their male peers which can be hard to comprehend. However, we can’t change or reverse current trends where some ladies have descended testicles and some are just unrealistic about partnerships. We can change ourselves though.
        I don’t need a man but I want one. Companionship and sharing is bliss. However, I doubt I will as I have my own set of standards which are based on my idea of what a relationship should be and added to that, I’m used to living alone.
        I’m certainly not bitter, I’m very attractive which isn’t self love, I know I am. Fifty percent of my attractiveness comes from within. I smile in the face of adversity. I’m great with people, quite smart, fashion conscious and slim so my question is, where are all the compatible men. Certainly not on social media where they judge purely by years and assume pictures aren’t recent.
        I need a plan for my sabbatical from the workplace so would love help to formulate one. Sounds so much nicer that a retirement bucket list and if there are any men in their 60s out there who look, act and love like a much younger version, well there are myriad women to be sought who are waiting.

      2. Well christine im 33 and im more interested in equality and being treated fairly than i am in being slim, fashionable and not loving myself. I love myself very much, as I should. I refuse to accept double standards and piss poor treatment. Apparently, you dont mind being treated as inferior and allowing men to be ruthless while youre the submissive role. Its a cool story, really, but dream on. Unless you get plastic surgery youre nothing but an old hag to men. They want the youngest, prettiest possible plaything. Maybe you can fund your surgeries via online crowd funding.

      4. Just out of curiosity, at 33 why are you on this site? What are you looking for? Your reply was needlessly cruel.
        In my life I’ve found this to be true….karma is real, and paybacks are a bitch. Watch out!

      5. > I have my own set of standards which are based on my idea of what a relationship should be and added to that, I’m used to living alone.
        >… so my question is, where are all the compatible men.

        Obviously, there are zero men who are “compatible” with (1) your standards; (2) your idea of relationship; (3) your contentment with living alone.

        Get a dawg.

      7. Hi Michelle
        We live in weeki wachee , Florida also. We just moved here from California . We have no friends or family. We are both 70 year old.
        We went on few cruises but the loneliness is killing us slowly.

      9. Hi Nanette,
        You might want to volunteer for a dog rescue group. I foster dogs for a great group. It saves dogs lives and you get to hang out with a bunch of great people! The other positive is you can test out if Amy of the dogs might be a good “keeper” for you. Good Luck!
        Patsi

      10. Sue and others, I know you and your husband are lonely. Even if 70+, even if 90+, HANG ON, because there is hope through technology. Improvements may not be coming out exponentially but it seems they’re coming out faster as time goes on. If we can hang on another 10-20 years, even if in bad health, there are many things coming along to help us all — anti-aging treatments, driverless cars (they will have to be tested a few years to be considered safe), better preventative treatments…. we need anti aging most of all. It won’t bring back the family members who disowned us, it won’t bring back the dead (although I feel we will all end up together either in afterlife or a “new” physical universe, much better than with the suffering we have now). There really is a lot being tested now in laboratories, etc. and usually what is being tested normally soon becomes a reality to some extent.

      12. Hi, how did it go ion the villages? Ive lived in Florida for decades and not sure I would weant to live in the villages but for some its great, for others, forced fishbowl living among elderly couples and winter folk.

      1. He’ll everyone I am a 61 female been married for 42yrs. My husband works 12 hour days (always have) 6 days a week. We raised two successful boys. We 4 grandchildren and 1 on the way. I know your saying so what’s my problem. I have been so lonely for the last 15yrs!! My husband goes to work comes home eats sirs down to watch tv and goes to sleep. NO CONVERSATIONS!! Our oldest son and his family live over 2,000 miles away and it’s been over 3yrs since we have seen them. It’s jyst way to expensive to fly .!! For either side. Our youngest son lives 45min away and only see them once a month. They always say they are to busy. I have NO friends and we only have 1 car. The silence is overwhelming!!

      2. Hi Sharon
        I have the same problem in my marriage. I feel like I live with a roommate that doesn’t like me very much. We are both retired. I am lonely and bored, I have no friends I was to busy to make them with work and family. But with being unable to work and family moved away, it seem to late to make friends. I feel trapped. I go to place like coffee shops to be around people it helps, and I take a good book.

    6. Dear Marty i understand what you’re going though not at my 50s im 66 next month 67 i have cancer of the liver i feel ive never been loved not now or latter i do have a daught but she has her life to continue with young you always think ypull never grow old i dont understand why my life went that way as well but to let you know you’re not the only one going though this i must walk my road alone enjoy life so much at your age you can enjoy join a lodge church so much you can do remember there’s someone else like you an more so be good look for out lets in life andie Marie

      Reply to Andiemarie

      1. > We raised two successful boys.
        > Our oldest son and his family live over 2,000 miles away and it’s been over 3yrs since we have seen them. It’s jyst way to expensive to fly .!! For either side.
        > Our youngest son lives 45min away and only see them once a month. They always say they are to busy.

        Recall that you said that you “raised two successful boys”.

    8. Hi Marty: I came on this site to look for some tips to fight loneliness but ended up reading about other people who seem to be looking for the same thing but not really getting any answers or any good ideas. I’m 60, single, no kids and it’s just a little difficult sometimes trying to fill my time. I hate to think that I’m wasting time when there’s such a big, beautiful world out there but I think a lot of people like me just feel stuck in one place. I work from home, transcribing for medical specialists, so that also cuts out any socialization through the day. I do lead an active life, have a big yard and a woodstove so there’s always dealing with getting wood done for the following winter but it’s a lonely existence. Anyway, I guess I’m just venting tonight and you’re the lucky stranger I’m venting to. You’ll probably never get this anyway…who knows with social media where all of this stuff ends up. I wish you luck and at 54 you have lots of time to continue giving it your best shot. Don’t throw your cards in quite yet. One thing that I’ve found to be a good idea in the past is joining a group who are interested in the same thing as you….or trying something new. I took a course to get my open water diving ticket and met lots of fun people but when it was over we all just sort of went our separate ways. Maybe something that is ongoing…..I’m considering maybe starting quilting or some kind of gardening club. Volunteer work is always good too….at your local food bank, etc. Okay….I’ve rambled on enough for tonight….besides Top Chef is just about to come on. Best of luck to you…..I’m cheering for you!!!

      Reply to Jane

      1. Jane, I’m 56 and divorced since 2004. I also work at home. It’s so hard to meet female friends. …are you in NW IL by chance? Cheri

      2. Jane, I don’t know if this is a possibility for you but I’m trying to start a community home, probably located in South Carolina for people who are hopeful about having an unlimited lifespan through future anti-aging technology. Anyone else who also may be interested, please reply.

      3. Claire
        I am 76, retired, living alone, pretty healthy and active and thinking about your community home idea. It’s probably easier to do than it appears, but I’ve always thought it would be fun and beneficial for some single older women (and/or men) to do a “Golden Girls” (or boys) setup and share a home, expenses, chores, pets, and conversation. With some agreed upon “ground rules” covering everything necessary to run a clean, cheerful environment, the sheer comradery with the option of retiring to one’s own space (room) if some solitude is needed now and then would be a formidable foe to loneliness.

        If anyone in Orange County, Ca. thinks they might like to explore such an idea, let me know. It just might be quite doable. =^..^= foxrest7771@yahoo.com

      4. Yes that is what I would love to do but I am way over in Michigan…..The Golden Girls was such a dream life. A wish life. A now that would be nice type of life.

      5. Claire and others, I have been wanting to do the community home thing for over 5 years. I need at least 2 people to do part time work around the house, some shopping and to help me get to appointments. The live in helpers can be of any age and will get a bedroom, at least most utilities and use of the common areas of the property. If I can afford a larger home, I can also have renters or co-owners, more like the Golden Girls home you described. Anyone interested in talking about a community home or who would be interested in living in mine in the future in central or south Florida can also reply. I don’t know about pets. The main reason I’ve had to turn down people for my current home is that everyone has a cat, dog or whatever and I’m severely allergic to cats. Also I am very particular about where I live and the animal hair, accidents, etc would probably be a problem. I would have a very small dog or 2 only if I were alone and I would not get rid of them simply because someone moved in. Maybe in the future we can have outside runs for dogs. Everything depends on money, as usual. guessmyneeds@yahoo.com

  79. Well for many of the men and women out there that were very Extremely Fortunate finding Real Love with one another and are Married with a family which they Certainly have so Very Much to be very thankful for since many of us were Never that Lucky at all which being Alone really Sucks so Damn much especially for the Holidays. I always wanted a wife and family which really Would’ve made my life so very Complete as well. It is as if God has Punished many of us for No Reason at all Especially when he gave it too so many Millions of other people out there that have their Life so very much Complete. Then again i Can also Blame the kind of women that we now have out there that have made it much Worse as well since Most women these days are very Selfish And Greedy since they will Only want the Best and will Never settle for Less which certainly has a lot to do with it as well. And with all these Reality Shows that they now have on TV these days has Certainly Corrupted their minds as well as the Media that has made it Worse altogether. So for many of us Good Men out there that really wanted to get married and have a family which we Can Certainly Blame the Type of women unfortunately that are now Everywhere these days that has Certainly made it very more Complicated for us as well since many of us Aren’t Single By Choice At All.

    Reply to Truth

      1. Dear Truth, you are right about how the world and people have changed. I am 63 years old and have been widowed for 11 years now. I would very much like to be remarried but the men I have met don’t seem to want a good woman anymore. The roles between men and women have reversed. It gets really lonely for me as well but I don’t know what to do about it.

    2. Is it really all women and greediness or is it the type of women you have shown interest in? I was married 20 yrs. Divorced when i discovered husband was addicted to prescription meds to the point of acquiring them secretly and to the financial and emotional distress of myself and 2 kids. I never required things…no elaborate jewelry or home….not even an annual vacation. I devoted everything to him and kids. I lost myself in the roles of wife and mother while also holding a job to pull in 50% of household income. My blessings are my kids. The divorce was 10 yrs ago. Ex passed away 7 yrs ago. I never stopped loving him and wondering why….. Although I’d like a man to share my life with the odds at at 55 are not in my favor. Men generally looking for young model types. I am not. I am an attractive yet larger framed working woman with children aged 28 and 30. I love my kids, my friends and my job. I try to find laughter each day and generally succeed. Sometimes life is lonely…it is not fair. I had the privilege of caring for mom until her passing at the end of November at the age of 95. I guess that accounts for my recent heavy heart.

      Reply to Dee

      1. Hi Linda
        I totally agree with you. I’m 56 and have been widowed for 4 years now. I get very lonely sometimes. We came to this country 20 years ago from England and when my husband passed away I very seriously thought about going back but I have 2 wonderful daughters and 2 beautiful grandchildren, so I stayed. The world has changed so much since I was a young girl starting out. The thought of dating same one scares me to death. I checked out a few dating sites but it seems that all men just want young attractive slim successful women. Not that I’m obese or un attractive just scared and lonely. Then I think why should I try to make my self look any younger or act any different just to attract someone else. What you see is what you get.

      2. To Linda, It is very unfortunate how this society has really changed today from the old days since it was a very different time back then. The men as well as the women back then had it very easy finding love with one another just like our family members had it. As you can see it was a very different time, and today the way this world has changed it is very sad. These younger women nowadays just like sleeping around with all different kinds of men since they will never be able to commit to just only one man which years ago most women never did that at all. So you can see how the times have changed now and unfortunately not for the good at all. I was married at one time before my Ex Wife Cheated on me which i was a very faithful good husband from the very beginning to the very end which meant nothing to her at all. And what is worse for me is that i have no children to fall back on either which i really did want children at that time. Since i know other friends that had the same thing happened to them as well, which it was just too very bad that we weren’t born back then since many of us men definitely would’ve been all settled down by now with our own good wife and family that many of us still don’t have today as i speak. I made my comment back in December just two days before Christmas which was a while ago as you can see. Peace.

  81. Hi everybody, I have a question for you all. First my story. At 69 (divorced at 65) sold my house packed up and moved to Chapala Mexico partly for adventure and partly to start a new life. I have been here 3 years bought a car and a house and consider that I live in Paradise. I met a wonderful Lady of 57 years and asked her to move in with me. She is retired from California and I want to know what financial arrangements we should have. Like I pay it all or she pays some and how much. Drop me a line with your thoughts.

    Reply to Jim

    1. hi and wishing you both joy in your new relationship. secondly this just my thoughts so it is not a solid must do. both of you need to sit down and talk about what each of you want with this relationship then talk about what each of you need to do. not only in regards to rent but who does the cooking and what days or nights, who cleans and what like dusting the living room or doing the floor in the kitchen, you see where i am going with this.

      have a wonderful relationship

      leslie

      Reply to leslie rae meisel

    1. I hear you. But trust me. Having kids isn’t always great when aging. If they don’t have time for you it makes you more depressed. For me anyway that is how it is even thought I never try to depend on anyone. With no friends or other family it is very lonely and just doing things in general can be tougher with no support system.

      Reply to Debi K

    2. Hi,
      Children are not the only people to fall into when old. I am very lonely despite the fact that I have three children. They are well educated and out running their lives. The only connection is the phone.
      Equally children will not understand your personal needs, like accompanied to tours etc.
      I appreciate the latest information technology that helps us communicate..
      Good day. Zipporah

      Reply to Zipporah

      1. I understand. I have two kids that live in another state. and they call me when they need something. I have a husband but we are more roommates. we re been together 35 yrs. he doesn’t want to go any where or do anything… so I set home being more depressed. I can’t do to much because when I walk my hip,back hurt so bad. hubby has bad back also but his is that he can’t sit or he hurts. so he works to keep moving. then in the evening I want to talk and he falls asleep. I’m depressed and it’s getting worse.

      2. Wow.. its like reading my own story..except the bad back bit… but what can one do when all you ever do is look after everyone else…then one day you realise there is no one looking after you…

      3. Hazel. ..i think your blessed …me and my wife of 33 yrs see each other on wknd we work opposite shifts never see each other all week then i and my bad back work some wknds. ..she has a lung disease and my back is toast ..5 injections a year …so.. said all that to say ….you have to look sometimes but you will find your blessings in your life …many a wealthy with all the health and time are so depressed they are very unhappy. ..God has given _you so much …sometimes we have to look in our lives but its there ..its there Gods blessing

      4. I feel exactly the same as you . I’ve raised five children and they now live all over the planet and rarely call. They are too busy living their lives.

        I have a job fortunately . It’s the only time I get to speak to anyone apart from the postman. I worry about becoming ill and no one finding me. :(

      5. I am Sue. I am 70 year old. Had 2 well educated kids but have not heard from them for 11 years. No friend, no family. Have had a male companion for 17 year . He also has no kid, no friend and no family.
        Well, life become so lonely most the time. We going to senior club one a week.

      6. Yes. i too, think nobody would find me if I died at home, for, ahh, at least one week! I do have a couple friends that would pursue to find out where I am, eventually.

      7. Me to Eleanor. Widow now two years lonely,hard to meet people rather shy, Married fifty years we worked together, raised a family. Now that is all gone..where do I go from here? Every day is a struggle jmj

      8. Even if you have a significant other, you will face aloneness. Everyone needs to fill that emptiness with God…even younger people. Quit whining and go out and help someone less fortunate.

      1. Traveling all alone as a single man like me is no fun at all. And if i had a choice which i rather travel with a woman instead. Makes more sense.

    5. Hi Jim ,
      First off good luck in your new life venture.
      Regarding financial arrgment best to have an open and honest conversation with your lady about that.
      Everyone may feel different about who pays what and how much .
      Also a lot depends on each persons finanical situation .
      Ask her what her expectations are.
      COMMUNICATE with her what your expectations are.
      There is no right or wrong , it’s about what each person is looking for.
      She in a position to pay her own way ?
      Is she looking for someone to pay the bills ?

      Communicate not just about financial . What about house duties , like who cleans ? Cooking ? Other .
      Be open and honest in order to avoid future problems or misunderstandings.

      If a guy would ask me to move in with him I would expect him to pay the bills.
      In return I am happy to cook and clean .
      But that’s me.

      Reply to Sunny

    7. I have 5 children who have no time for me I am 60 I have not seen them in over 5years 14 years before that .I am married not happy 33 years and I never felt so alone .count your blessings you for the last 5 months we have been living in a car and it’s very very cold .and my children can care less .and all my husband says to me is I know all you can do is sit in this car 24 hours a day .he works full time and is out of the elements 80 hours longer then me .it’s hard to get a job when you have no address and cloths that are clean and a bath and very seldom do I have a phone .we have to eat out every day and that is so expensive so is gas we have to run are car all day long to keep warm.
      I cry every day I am just wasting away.and nobody in my family cares

      Reply to Doreen

      1. I’m currently in a divorce status after 27 years of his unfaithfulness, but I’m at peace with it. But I to get lonely, have children and grands, see them occasionally, my youngest is in college and we talk several times a day, and spend much time together, when she home other two older daughter workso very hard.we talk often and see each other at least every 3-4 month. I also get lonely, I do a lots by myself, jazz concerts, movies I would love to travel with someone and enjoy the rest of my life. I’m 63,3/4 years old
        I’m excited about the opportunity of being happy. I do love my God. And attend church regularly.

      2. Don’t feel bad. I am now 68 but about 18 years ago I was in that same situation. In Colorado. There they did not and I assume, still do not have much help for people like us. I managed to get back to my home state. My entire family did not help me one single bit. My own mother even cashed checks of mine that came monthly to her house from my deceased first husband, so I had no money at all. But I went off on my own, purchased a home with no money, fixed it up, rented out rooms for money and still am living under the same roof 18 years later, by myself. I do no want to get mixed up with a man. I seem to choose the wrong ones anyways. I get extremely lonely but it could be worse, like being held hostage and not being able to do what you want for months on end. So, I am also afraid of meeting men. So, looks like I will die alone. My children don’t contact me often nor do they visit hardly ever. Everything is up to me, but I get so ill sometimes I cant get around to visit them. I would like to have another life but do not know what kind or how to go about it. Sometimes I just feel doomed to this mundane, lonely life of mine.

      7. If you need an address, get a cheap mailbox at postal annex. It looks like a real address. Truck stops are excellent for laundry facilities and showers. Truck drivers often have extra shower coupons to share. Also, getting a membership for 10 or 15 a month at planet fitness means free showers and soap and clean towels. Get a job. Its sad but unless you abused your kids or allowed them to be abused,they are ungrateful terrors. Dont give up! I care. Id help but i dont have a permanent residence, im a traveling escort!

      8. Doreen, can you contact me and let me know how you are doing now as you have not written in a long time. You can email me if it shows my email. Are you still living out of your car? Cindy

    8. I am so sorry for you. I do have four children. not a one helps my husband and I. my oldest daughter and husband live paycheck to paycheck. her husband makes good money. they have a beautiful home but always broke it seems. my son lives with me and my husband. he does whatever he can to help us. hes done this ever since coming here to live after his pancreatic cancer surgery in 2004. considering everything the doctors did to make sure they got all the cancer cells, hes doing very well. the only side effects are having to take digestion med. before he eats, the rest of his life. then I have the two young kids, girls ages 38 and 37. a few years ago they decided they wanted nothing more to do with me. they had a pretty good childhood with me and stepdad. the both of them were very close to me. we laughed and had so much fun. then one day they just stopped. it tore me up and I beg them to tell me why they wanted me out of their life and they would never say. my older grandkids has nohing to do with me either. I feel it might be since they realized I was getting older, they didn’t want to face my death one day. its all I could think of. so as it stands, I have none of these girls to ever help us out or even ask if they could do something for us. it sure hurts to be treated this way. I had six brothers and no sisters. my family were all very close years ago. two brothers passed away before they were sixty. none of the others talk to me. we are good people yet I do not know why people change so much as time goes by. we sit here with little food. and on s.s. I’m in bad health and my husband is in very bad health. I love all my kids and my family.. loving someone is cheap and wish they would at least give me that.

      Reply to sandy

    11. Husband of 43 years died March 2013 while I was in hospital for major back fusion surgery. June 2013 youngest stepdaughter (of 2) died. Sept 2013 close cousin in England died. 2015 great grandson 14 died from heart failure, May 2016 oldest stepdaughter died from brain and lung cancer. A month ago had to have my oldest poodle 12 1/2 put to sleep. My remaining poodle is 5. Since husband’s death have had a lot of medical problems that have prevented me getting out and starting a new life. Am now 77 and live in my own home. Love gardening. Have no family around me but good friends and neighbors. Unfortunately they are all married so while we go to lunch or shop, they all have their own lives. I occasionally am asked to join family functions but feel like a 5th wheel.I worry about the future, but have connected with the Senior and Disability people who have given me a lot of ideas to help me stay in my home and not have to go into one of those retirement places. However, I do have long term insurance if, heaven forbid, I had to use it. I am embarrassed to go places on my own as I have to use a wheeled walker. I drive a little but do not feel that confident so I stay home alone a lot One thing I found is once you are just (half of a couple) your social life as you knew it disappears. However I must admit when I do not feel well, I tend to withdraw from people which is not a good trait. Have no family members in USA (except step grandson in California). Tried to move back to UK but cannot get back on the National Health system and I need medical coverage. Was planning on visiting family in England in June and what happens. Pain in leg, found to have deep vein thrombosis, clot in leg, so will be about 6 months before I can take that long trip. Enough is enough with the sicky stuff! I was caregiver to my husband for several years before his death, so let my health go I guess and now it has caught up with me. I was last visiting my family in UK in 2014. I try to stay positive but wonder where my life will take me from here. Any advice for me. I do wish I could get around better as I try to stay very positive and sometimes wonder how I got to be 77!!!!! Anyone else live in Oregon?

      Reply to Mary Loar

      1. To Mary Loar:
        I want to move and was thinking of Oregon…..Wish you lived by me. I am in Michigan. My best friend was my sister who died 2 years ago during a snow storm that made me lose most all of my electric appliances but insurance covered it. I miss her so bad. I am 69. I lost my husband when I was 40. That was tough to go through. I lost my next best friend last January who was 74. I knew her years back when we use to live near them in the same town.
        I feel like i need to do something so I am not lonely anymore but I have tried everything and nothing has made me feel not alone…….I would like to have a companion to do things with. I don’t even know if i am sexual anymore and all the men seem to want to be sexual and cannot just be friends?
        I mean, I don’t mind if I later find out I still am, but i do not want to feel forced into anything or made to feel guilty if I don’t, either. Know what I mean?
        If you look at the dating sites, you keep seeing men that say, love to hug and kiss and cuddle, very affectionate, warm and loving, etc. and that scares me right off the bat. I had bad experiences with those sites. Then there are those that are married and looking around, too.
        So, will I ever get a “someone” just to hang with….like the Golden Girls? Someone to eat with, talk with, watch TV with, etc. That situation would suit me to a T!

    12. I too am an ELDER ORPHAN.
      I am 66 and divorced due to betrayal, and I’m still trying to navigate through the process of healing and finding motivation to go forward.
      I basically if this point just want companionship, ….. and it would be nice to try to figure out a way for folks at this age, and in the situation to connect and support each other.

      Reply to SherryM

    13. Wow I thought I was the only one that’s is alone and Ionely with no family well one grown son and no friends and that it was only me that was so tired of wanting my phone to ring and having plans to look forward to and just having someone to talk to !!! I live in Northern Colorado and the loneliness is killing me however reading all of your stories helps and I feel awful all of us are on here wanting to set people I wish we could all get together Iam a sweet honest caring women and I’d love some friends …..

      Reply to Sadiees

  83. No, aging alone does not have to mean being lonely. But that is a truism. Being alone at any age does not have to mean being lonely. The salient point, for very many of us–as is corroborated in the biomedical and populational health literatures–is that being alone DOES for us mean being lonely. That other human beings who appear on the surface to be in similar circumstances as we are feel differently says only the obvious, that different people are different. In allopathy, no physician would find it a meaningful observation that a diagnosis of cancer doesn’t have to mean a low five-year-survival prognosis. Different diseases under the same name, and different patient characteristics obscure the meaning of “cancer,” as do distinct determinants obscure the meaning and experience of loneliness in different people.

    It’s great that some people enjoy solitude, or have found ways that for them remove the sting of loneliness. Unless these circumstances can be reliably and rigorously replicated with similar outcomes in the population overall (the lonely self-report, reliably, that they no longer feel lonely), we don’t have a broad intervention, but rather descriptions of what happens to work for some people–without knowing precisely why (constitution, particular life circumstances vs proposed intervention).

    I’m not trying to be mean or negative, but between the widespread shame attached to admitting to loneliness and the almost condescending this-worked-for-us-so-it-must-work-for-you-and-if-it-doesn’t-then-there’s-something-wrong-with-you-specifically sentiment that pervades so much anti-loneliness advice, the lonely can feel both overwhelmed and frustrated. They can’t admit they’re lonely, and if they do, they’re smothered with either platitudes or an expectation that others’ perspectives and experiences must also be theirs. There is no natural reason this should be the case.

    Hope everyone finds a solution to any chronic loneliness they might be experiencing.

    Reply to Tom

    1. Isn’t there a book or manual on how not to be lonely? I am 45. I am lonely. I have a husband and one 11 year old daughter but feel alone. I crave a big family. My daughter was just sick and in the hospital and I didn’t know who to call to visit. I cared for aging relatives and they have passed and there is a feeling of loss and loneliness here. I want the community where when you are in the hospital people jump up and visit. I don’t know what I did wrong to end up here. I consider trying to adopt foster children to grow my family but wonder if they grow up and make their own family and leave and never look back. I seem to think without blood obligation I am destined to be alone, I feel terrible that my child is an only because I do not want her to be alone like me. I should have had many children but I had zero family support and had to care for sick and dying relatives. I took care of the old instead of making a life with young. I have friends but it doesn’t feel the same as family. I am looking for a village.

      Reply to Julie

      1. Thank your lucky stars you have a husband and daughter. I have NO ONE and a lot of other people are in my boat. Time for you to be grateful for what you do have and what you could lose.

      2. Julie, I’m very sorry you’re feeling so lonely. If I had good advice, I’d have followed it myself. I hope you won’t think I’m picking on you in pointing something out, but I think it’s important to the way we build our communities–and could possibly mitigate some of the pain of loneliness.

        In speaking about your choice to take care of ailing parents, you wrote, “I took care of the old instead of making a life with young.” And earlier, in speaking about the fear that adult children you might adopt might go their separate ways and not pay much attention to you, you’d written, “I consider trying to adopt foster children to grow my family but wonder if they grow up and make their own family and leave and never look back.” I suspect the latter results often from a deeply entrenched cultural perspective that it is right/good for adult children to move on and look to building their own families. Aging parents should expect this and not begrudge the loss of contact with their once-families.

        I don’t think life has to be this way at all. It’s a choice. I’m not going to bore people with my own impressions of how this choice came to be, but if we abandon ailing elders to nurture relationships with those we expect to be here after our elders’ departure, then it’s reasonable that younger generations would feel similarly about us–and do this sooner and sooner, leaving many in their thirties and beyond bereft of vital companionship with loved ones.

        Just an observation. I really hope you find a way to fulfill your needs for companionship. If you do, please spread the word. Happy 2017.

    2. Not that long ago i was feeling very lonely. i was allowing the void i felt to dictate my life. Because of health issues i am home bound most of the time. Cannot socialize because i am unable to eat regular meal ( many times only baby food, or simple smoothies.) and much of socializing in America is around meals. I got involved teaching Sunday School. Planted a simple children’s garden by their room. Quite by accident i started a free clothing closet for those in need or the homeless. It was still not enough. The void i felt from my son’s recent death and my grand kids growing up, my daughter moved away, out of state taking all her family with her. Until recntly i cried most of the day…my poor patient husband. Not long ago i reflected on a conversation i had with one of my grandson’s about a year ago. I always felt this urgency about us living in the last days. I have studied that subject well sine 1967. The conclusion of our conversation was that perhaps what i was feeling was my mortality. The emptiness was the sense of feeling detached from this world. I truly believe in my case that is the cause of my deep sense of isolation. I realized that the last days hold no meaning for me because the average life span in America is 78.8 years, i am 76. After i realized how close i am to going home i began to focus more on things that matter. In my case it is spiritual. I was able to release, past hurts, feeling of neglect, family, ambition, goals…all those thing are of this world. My home is not here but in the one to come. I now see whatever time i have left from a new perspective. I now live with a new sense of peace. “I can do all thing through Christ who strengthens me.”

      Reply to Margaret

    3. Tom,
      I appreciate your comments and how eloquently you express yourself! I am new to this site, in this forum and I hope that you Please Continue to write.
      The condescending comments that can come from the mouths of people that are not lonely can be hurtful. Sometimes they expect the way they went about things, is a one-size-fits-all way to be.
      I am 66 years old, went through a painful betrayal, and divorce, and have no children.
      I help care for, and I am the advocate & ombudsman for my sweet 92-year-old mom.
      Since my divorce, my focus has had to be on my Mom, and I miss my old self.
      I have lost my past Self-confidence. I MISS ME!
      That’s a scary place to be.

      Reply to SherryM

    4. Sherry M. and everyone, I am not as bad off as most of you posting in this thread so I can’t at this point relate completely, but instead at the phase where more family members have died and the ones left are declining, BUT there is hope for most of us. Life in the near future seems more hopeful as it seems technology is speeding up now. Since 1900. life expectancy has almost doubled. In the 1980’s the first home computers were around and 10 years later, most Americans were easily enjoying internet forums, fast forward just a few more years and most of us had mobile phones and a few more years and we have computers in those phones. Meanwhile we have gotten pneumonia and shingles vaccines and by the year, doing better and better with cancer. Now the first clinical trials are being done with medicines like Metformin for the purpose of working against the aging process. There’s so much going on NOT in mainstream media, but you can find it if you search things like life-extension, anti-aging and radical life extension as well as transhumanism. The hard part is learning what’s hype, scams and what’s the truth. For any help guessmyneeds@yahoo.com

      Reply to Sherry

  84. Well i can actually Blame the Single women for that one since i will Admit that i am very sick and tired of being a Single man and Alone all the time that really Doesn’t have any friends at all since all my friends were very Blessed to be all settled down with their own life. Very much what i Would’ve wanted as well but was Never that lucky since i always do meet the Wrong women all the Time. Most women today are very Pathetic and such Losers as well which makes it very difficult for me especially that many of them have such a very Bad Attitude Problem and have No Manors at all when i will try to just start a Normal Conversation with them. Sometimes i will even get Cursed at when i see a woman that i would like to talk too so i could get to know her but she will just walk away from me which i will Never understand this at all.

    Reply to Truth

    1. Hello Truth,

      After reading everyones letters on this site, we are not alone in isolation. I assume you are an American man talking about American women, I agree.

      Through this thread, it seems like people might change their street address, or phone number while remaining in the same culture and they wonder why nothing changes.
      Once you get outside American culture the world is very different. For the past 15 years I have lived as an expat in China, Chile, and Cambodia. All different cultures, but all of them much fun. The past 7 years I have lived in Cambodia., and for the most part enjoyed myself. On any Saturday, most of our conversations were based on how lucky we are to be living abroad. Most of us are teachers, so our weekends are usually free.

      I am 62 yeaars old, and I can learn a new language without too much more difficulty than my young students. It takes me longer, but as we age we learn the importance of persistance. Riding off road on my motorcycle, visiting with the farmers in a small village restaurant, or talking with monks at the temples, it is fun, this is what life is about, learning and having fun.

      It is not all happy and pleasant days, but the good days outnumber the bad days. There are those who hate us becuase we are different, there are those who cheat us, but once you learn their language and can understand them, being able to cheat us is at a minumum. However, the good people willing to share always out number the negative people who like to cheat.

      And the women, especially the farmers, you could not ask for better people. Arrogance and bad manners are looked down on in all three of these cultures.

      I hope this gives you some insight into what the world has to offer, and most of it is quite good and alot of fun.

      Cheers,

      Lucas

      Reply to Lucas Usher

      1. Hi Lucas
        I am alone – and very much agree with all you said – from an opposite gender perspective. I care, and need someone who can reciprocate. Females are ‘cared for’ from an early age, taught to hold our tummies in, stand straight, and be good. Long gone are the days of virginity, replaced by nights when sleeping alone is anything but comforting. My mindset is still fixed on finding a man who cares, will invest of his time with honorable intentions. I have never been a one-night girl, and friends with benefits is not my idea of anything short of usage followed by abandonment. The worst kind of loneliness. I am not a social butterfly. I am an introvert. No desire to travel. Love to be “home” puttering away at some project. Easy cooking — pasta & sauce or stir-fry with rice. I am still a lady. And words that demonstrate frustration – “cussing” – are perfectly fine when used proportionate to the event. I laugh, giggle, play Euchre, don’t drink, and relish the opportunity to be kind to others. I was a public servant — an honorable position that I take pride in. I will always be “that” person. It’s more than a past job – it’s a state of mind. I need to be held. Men do that better than anyone else. Your gift to women. We each have what the other desires – by design! I am 62 and scared to death. I am determined to NOT be one who my only son must “care for”. He has his own life. I do not want him to worry about me. I have been in 2 abusive relationships and fear some men who have anger issues or hidden rage, and ulterior motives. I live in NY. Not the City. New York is a large state! Safe communities abound. Seneca Falls is the backdrop of “Its a Wonderful Life”. Producer Capra passed through in 1939 and found it idyllic. As do I. The thought of living without love is abhorant // foreign // unnatural to me. Always the romantic. I will never give up – but finding a man is like high school all over again. Does he like me? Will I see him again? Does he mind being “texted”? Will he fear being trapped? Does he care? Is he caring enough? If I have a cigarette, am I committing a social sin? Can I tease him? Will he hurt me? I have been on dating sites. They are too expensive!! So do I hang out at Lowes or Home Depot? I am scared by the uncertainty as I look for a place to live. I just moved out of my apartment because people there are just “living” there. Ten months and no friends! They come home from work and go inside and that’s that! Swimming is something I love — very happy when the pool opened. Then July 20 I fell on the concrete by the pool and fractured my foot!! Major bummer. No swimming for me. Docs said I need to be where I have the support of family & friends. Where’s that? I looked at a couple of senior living centers – the mean age is 80! I’m not ready for that. I can be a girly girl – or a tomboy – a friend & lover…. where have all the wonderful men gone? I am a trusting soul, praying God will send me someone special. Male & Female. I have always been more comfortable with men than women. Raised on a farm with 3 older brothers and working with men – I am weary. I am temporarily staying with my son — TEMPORARILY — but where next, I just don’t know. I am OPEN-MINDED, intelligent & need a hand to hold. God is omnipotent – using us all to help each other. Ever notice how we “fit” together. It’s not an accident.

      2. To Lucas, well i know that i made my comment at the end of September which for what i have said is the Truth since i had a friend that just had this happened to him last month too unfortunately. The women of today which most of them are Nothing at all like the real Good old fashioned women were since Most of them in those days really had a lot of Respect for men as well as Most of the men that really did have Respect for the women as well. Now with so many women today making a Six Figure Income it is Worst since definitely Most of them now are so very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, greedy, picky, narcissists, and so very money hungry which really speaks for itself right there since they will only want the Best of all and will Never settle for Less do to their greed and selfishness unfortunately. I never expected to be all Alone now at my age at the same age as you which is 62. I was married at one time which i was a very Good Husband to my Ex Wife at that time which i Loved her very much and had a lot of Respect for her as well since i was very much Committed in my marriage which it still Wasn’t Good Enough for her at all. She was the one that Cheated on me which really Devastated me at the time when i found out since he really turned out to be the Low Life Loser that i Never expected. It is sad that many marriages are Failing over this which it is the women that have Destroyed many Good marriages because of this already since a friend that i know had it happened to him as well. Our family members were very Blessed back in their time to meet one another in those early days since the times were completely different too since Most marriages did work out as well. And many of our family members are still together today as i speak which makes it very Amazing as well. It was just too very bad that many of us men that are still Single today Weren’t born back then since many of us really Would’ve been all settled down ourselves as well. Quite a Change in the women of today since they’re very much too Blame for our Singleness now which makes it very sad for many of us Good Innocent men that Aren’t Single By Choice. Thank you very much for your support. Peace.

      3. Hi there
        I do not talk to strange men out in public.
        Because of bad experience. There are guys out there who are known as super market Casanova’s
        They hang out in grocery stores and they won’t just steal your heart but anything else they can
        But I have issues I admitted it. A lot of women do. So do a lot of men. But I am Not looking for romance. I could honestly use some friends
        It would be nice to know how to form a senior peer group and makmake connection for no other reason than yellowish.
        Particular those of us of very small means.
        Any suggestions

      4. Hi Kathy,

        I am a man that has reached out to two ladies just lately. I was in a very strong pen-pal and than telephone conversations with a professional lady in Las Vegas. She was from the Phillipines but been I American for 29 years and a beautiful lady. After 3.5 weeks she somehow almost fell in love with me and wanted me to come out to Vegas and stay with her for a week. She could only see me in February since her job of doing 29,000 payroll for the Casino business she worked 65 hour weeks. SO, I came to the conclusion that I did not have the kind of money to go out to Vegas a number of times to find out if she was my soulmate, and again she had very little time once I was in Vegas. So, I called it off because to much risk on my part if this did not work out. A lot of hours communicating and money to see her. My friends told me to find someone closer. Well, I did and we want out on a Coffee date. She was a singer and I am and we hit it off quite good. I set up a second date to go dancing and she comes up with the idea now that she is looking to get married instead of just a long term relationship. I have also gone out with a few other very nice women over the past 5 years with a great initial date and than they back out of wanting to get more involved. ONe lady told me the date we had was the best she had ever been on. I bought her meal, candy, a card and a CD of love songs. A week later she breaks the date to go dancing and afraid to really get deep into a relationship. So, many women want someone o show interest in them, but, are emotionally scarred from past relationships as I have had two bad ones myself.

        I will say this about the times we are living in. Most people just do not care what you think about anything. People live in a bubble and are involved with in a small world of people. The interaction with people we meet
        is on the surface. We do not stop long enough to find out what is on our hearts. Everyone is moving at a fast pace. My own step children and blood son rarely ever call, except on fathers day or maybe Christmas. Why, they are so wrapped up with there own families they have little time for dad or mom We are out of site and out of mind. I have decided not to go to social media anymore. I may get more involved with the community
        and go the musicals where people have my same interests.

        I do feel for you, Kathy. I hope that someone special can come along. It just seems like the harder you try the more you get knocked down.

      5. I agree many women are looking for $$$ but many men just looking for that #10. This is not limited to the American people. Finding that caring individual , generous with compassion that is genuine and truthful is difficult no matter what gender. Only when you look beyond the physical to give a person the opportunity to know the real person can you make meaningful connections that can lead to successful relationships. I married my husband because we laughed together. We shared a love for music and art. We were both teachers and had similar goals in our careers and married life. He passed away 7 yrs ago. We had great times and horrible times. It is life.

      6. Regards your remarks re women of today, you forgot to mention how society, (women, in this case) have become nothing more than sewer trash….they walk around everywhere almost “naked” to the bone….with no shame whatsoever. For christ’s sake, so often what you see on the street or even on TV with the Hollywood Elite “gutter trash”,,,you wonder why they even bothered to put on the little band aid that they did.
        C’mon…tell the truth, this society is a society of filth. BTW, I am the furthest thing from being a PRUDE, if you only knew me but in the name of god, where does it end. there is no limit whatsoever today. They want respect but you really have to earn respect…don’t mean to go on but this society couldn’t go any further into filth and mud than it is right now.

        And, the second item I would like to bring up is that hey, most of you on this site are in your 40’s 50’s and thereabouts. The site says “Senior Planet” but most of you are really not in your Senior years such as myself…I am 71…I have aged before my time…and do not recognize myself anymore. I am totally alone and ill and the thought of what will happen to me (even at the end) is something which terrifies me. But what can you do…I totally believe in destiny and unfortunately whoever wrote my “story” up there forgot to give me just a little break! :) Be well and find someone to share your lives with to the end…it is such a crime to be alone in your later years…Wish you all the best …

      7. Not sure what “yellowish” means but as a senior, 76, retired, living alone, I would love to form a “Girlfriends” group in Orange County, Ca. who could meet once a week or so for lunch, snack and coffee, dinner, breakfast at an agreed upon spot to enjoy each other’s company with perhaps other things following (like plans for movies, camping, shopping at the swap meet, etc.). Just plain comradeship would do a world of good to help banish loneliness and enrich our lives by sharing ideas and interests.

      8. Jean you have a great idea about forming a senior peer group! And of course, it would be good to form the groups by cities so that we could perhaps meet in person too as a group at first and then anyone could, if lucky, form their own individual friends. I’d like to tell everyone here that, while we could arrange these groups ourselves, there is wonderful http://www.meetup.com where you can make friends according to age range, location, etc.

        Meantime, how about forming a peer group by cities right now by ourselves??? ;-)

    2. Hi,
      Sorry. There are also women aged over 50 like me who have the same experience with men like you do with women. .
      Get someone to talk to and you will know a good person immediately.
      I’m just like you.
      Good day

      Reply to Zipporah

      2. Hi Ann, I relate and respect your options. I am 68 widow of 24 years, still alone but happy. I have two sons with grandkids. Most week ends we get together and share meal time watch movies and laugh! I bought my kids up in a happy home , they have successful careers and that makes me happy. I’ve stayed positive all my life even with its ups and downs. It’s really not difficult finding senior friend at a senior center. Theirs games, dances ,classes you name it. I find that once you let yourself be complacent it becomes harder to make the change….so then you find yourself alone and lonely. Hence, the mind has more time to think! I find myself reaching out, calling everyone i know and maybe just one has the time to go somewhere and do something. It works all the time. the more i reach out the better i feel and so do they. Being alone to long will eventually lead to depression. I’ve retired at 65 but kept busy with everything i could, gardening ,trips , and love to help volunteer at the nursing homes. I find days that i’ve stayed home others call and check up on me, i do the same.
        My advise to everyone …don’t give up on helping someone, reaching out to others works both ways , their no good reason to stay lonely….get out so we can find each other…. Bless you all …Be Grateful…

      3. Zipporah YOU’RE SO RIGHT that not only women are like these 2 gentlemen complained about! Men can be just as unpleasant and unfair!!! I didn’t think it was fair of them to say those things. Humans come in all types of qualities and many times it has to do with WE, OURSELVES and not those we blame, for our lack of success! There may be a reason why a person doesn’t respond to whom initiates a contact AND that should be respected, not criticized.

        This thread is wonderful because we can help one another if we are reasonable. What do you think of Jean’s idea for forming groups of mena nd women here according to cities and age ranges? I think it’s the best thing we can do for ourselves. what’s your opinion? :)

    3. Good for you Margaret, God is my strength, as well. I believe that if we give back not just financially but helping others help us take our eyes off our problems. Loneliness is real and will rob us of our life, I ad I said I look forward to enjoy many more years here and try hard to live a life pleasing to our God. As I read all the letters, it’s enough of us to get together and keep each other company, we should try it.

      Reply to Elaine White

  85. Hello everyone,

    I see many of us are in the same boat except my boat sailed across the Atlantic. March 1st I sold my condo and car, put things in storage and bought a one way ticket to Lisbon, Portugal. So. Here I am. Problem is at 71 it’s time for me to be sensible and think of the future. I had to sell my condo because fees were outrageous and management horrible.

    I have no family and no real close friends. My funds are somewhat depleted and I don’t know an affordable and safe place to move to when I return to the U.S. I don’t know where to go. I’ve managed to make myself rootless.

    I’ve lived well, have a good education. I am not a bingo playing, knitter (no offense to those who do). I’ve lived in the Midwest and the Northeast but am afraid of being in a high crime, drug and gun happy place. Apartments are so expensive everywhere I look. I’m also considering a tiny house but want to be in a town, not isolated in the country. I’m worn out trying to figure out my life.

    If anyone has any advice, please let me know.

    My email is golfytype@yahoo.com

    Thank you

    Reply to Candace

    1. Hello Candace,
      how are you this evening. I came upon this site during my search for a senior willing to tell their life story for my college project. I am enrolled in Social Sciences, and taking a class on aging. I am not quite there yet as far as senior planet. I am 54 divorced black american. I am a licensed insurance agent for Liberty Mutual. Your life sounds so interesting I wanted to reach out to find out how you managed. what was the outcome. i did not note the date you posted your email on here. You are just under the wire for my project. I need to hear the life story of a 75 year old. I face fears about the future. I am unmarried, estranged from my only son. my sister lives in the same town but is married and very busy with her own life. I enjoy gardening, dancing listening to live music poetry performances etc. I have a best friend for over 20 years but as we age we spend less and less time together. I would love to hear where you ended up. Traveling the way you did sounds absolutely fabulous.

      Knd regards,

      Reply to Lela Thomas

    2. Hi Candace & Ladies, I am basically in the same boat although I stayed in the same state. I’m 66, 2 married kids in Michigan, 2 grandkids, widow at 44 and moved to Florida as my parents were here. I sold my home last April because I wanted to experience/explore different places in Florida or the Carolina’s to live. After selling my home I went on goldengirlsnetwork.com to do look for a “room share”. Well, thinking this would be a great safe way to explore different areas it was very difficult to get ladies to reply to my emails. In fact, no one did replay, but they still have postings on the web site. That I could not figure out. So, now I go to Craig’s list and look. Yes, I took a chance, but it was hard to get anyone on CL to reply. I have a very good profile, pictures, owned my own decorating business, phone number, etc., hardly get anyone to respond. Finally I found a place in St. Augustine, Fl., and everything worked out. The lady is my age and works, does not have a lot of money to do anything so I’m kind of not doing anything…..except shop and go to the beach by myself which is like 5 minutes away. This is NOT what I expected my life to be at 66, but I’m doing ok. There are no jobs close except if you want to drive a half hour and I don’t. I usually babysit my grandkids during the summers so they do not have to go to summer camp (day care) so I drive from Florida every year to Michigan and then back, this keeps me busy for 4 months. My home was on the Gulf coast and was getting just a little boring doing all the upkeep on things that I used to enjoy. So, here I am. It’s not a bad arrangement at all and I’m looking in a month or two to move on to another area. Candace, I think you might like the “room share” thing. Do a search on your computer for listings and web sites that do room share, please take a look at Craig List’s it does not cost a thing. Think about it, you could move just about any place and then look for a condo. CL has a map you can see whats on the coast or any area you are interested in. When you get on CL and take a look, put in “picture” of home/condo, own bathroom, even what you want to spend a month. This does not cost a thing. Of course you will want references and they will also. Are you still in Lisbon? How did you find your place there. CL is international also. Please, anyone, let me know if I can be of any help!

      Reply to Susan

    3. I’ll be 57 in a short while. A widow twice. Single. My family does live nearby so I’m lucky there. But dealing with chronic pain limits my life from doing the things I’d like to do. I was mostly a stay at home Mom. Had to go back into the work force. It’s difficult being alone and trying to keep up with everything. Seems like everything is hard these days. Have been dealing with depression. Also have been considering renting out a room at my home..

      Reply to vicki Ho

    4. Good Morning Candace
      I’m 70, lost my husband of 30 wonderful years, I seriously mean wonderful., it’s been 5 years. I also had a condo that I sold a year ago. Now everyone in my family except my son thought I was nuts but I sold and gave away almost everything I owned, at my age they became ( just things) I didn’t want to pay for a mini storage. I purchased the most beautiful 40′ 5th wheel( travel trailer) I have ever seen. Top of the line, leather, king size bed, washer/dryer, dishwasher, 2 lazy boy leather recliners, couch that makes into a bed and with the push of a button the big screen TV goes down behind the wall. I’m a realtor, white, have feel like I paid my debt to society and my family. I have it sitting on the waterfront with the most beautiful sun sets I have ever experienced.. I have never been so happy, I have two sons and a daughter. The only person that truly cares about me is my son.
      My other children have never come to just check on me, just to see how I’m doing, other family members, nothing and I’m 23 minutes from them. This is my choice, but I don’t know that being blood related gives them a pass, I value anyone’s friendship that will just enjoy my company. No more taxes, no more condo fees and awful mismanagement. You will pay about 350 a month but that includes electricity, water, cable etc. the trick is put it on a private lot or seniors only. I have private lot. I paid 55,000 and that was all I had. I live in Florida, born and raised here. It’s just a thought. Would love to hear from you.
      Florence

      Reply to Florence Gales

      1. I am also 57, worked FT all my life mostly as a single mom. Now 2 kids are grown and gone. I had to quit working 4 yrs ago due to health/mental issues. Working was my purpose. Now I am alone, don’t like leaving the house and have no friends or family really. My son does try to help me once every couple wks for a couple hours and to get me out. But he is busy trying to work and have his own life. I don’t want to burden. I have become socially awkward in a sense (very social in my younger days) due to lack of human contact. I have always been a fighter. But my depression is taking over again – I feel no purpose. I do own my town home and rent a room that has been separated from my living part. So I don’t see them but once a month when they pay rent. I couldn’t have a renter in my home with me, just couldn’t. I just wish I had that one friend, to keep each other going and be a loyal support system for each other. The pain of this loneliness is worse than my depression, failed back surgery, other health issues, not to mention my brain doesn’t work the way it used to. I just don’t know how to keep going to a better place instead of sinking deeper into this pain and depression.

    5. Hi Candace,
      My name is Paul. and it sounds like we have a lot in common. I lost my wife of 57 years last Nov.
      I live in the pacific north west, but unlike you I have a great family that all live within 90 miles. Four kids,
      six grand kids, four great grand kids, but they don’t smother me. I am a very healthy 81 years old. I love
      working in the yard in the summer, but the winters here are wet and dreary in the winter, but I stay
      busy in side. live in town of about 25,000, and about 15 miles from a town of 75,000. I have never been
      good at approaching women, and every time I think about it, I think what have to offer as like you I have
      limited income, and funds. I would love to have a lady companion to talk with and maybe do a little traveling
      with, but I guess we have to do with what we have.
      Would love to hear from you, but if not I wish you the best, and hope you find that place to settle you
      are are looking for.

      Reply to Paul R.

  86. Hello Everyone!

    I am an unemployed 64 year old woman who is just now coming to terms with what alone means. I have been raising the youngest of my three sons alone for 20 years but he is out of the house and striking out on his own. My eldest is estranged from me due to his drug addiction and the fact that he stole so much from me. Middle son is busy with career and toddler and youngest is just now finding himself. That leaves Mom to figure out where to live and what to do.

    Middle son and wife (with toddler) seemed enthusiastic for me to be closer to them until I put my home up for sale and started looking then their enthusiasm waned, leaving me in a quandary. Do I move where I am really not eagerly wanted? It breaks my heart not to have a child that eagerly wants mom in the same town! I am healthy, independent was working until my house sold, at which time I had to resign. I am totally independent but planning for those days when independence starts to change and assistance is needed.

    The challenges of aging without a partner are bearing down on me. Those who have a mate have someone with whom they can share these kinds of thoughts. Someone who can share the challenges of selling a home, relocating and other important life decisions, not to mention the physical, social, spiritual and emotional support that comes from having a loved one close by.

    Today I feel pretty isolated and alone as it is impossible to share this with someone younger or who has a partner. I have friends, was active with my job (teaching) and have a few great MeetUp groups that I do things with. Even finding ways to connect with others my age and situation has become a task, a chore I don’t enjoy. So the task ahead for me and it looks like some of you:

    Where to live, close to family even though they are neutral about your being there or strike out for destinations unknown
    In a house (I love working in my yard), condo or apartment (both would be a cage to me)
    How to make these tough decisions when income is limited and savings nil
    Who to even bounce these tough decisions off of

    I am all questions and no answers!

    Reply to Cindy

    2. I am never married and no children single man 59. You are lucky you do have children still.
      I no longer socialize or chat with married or partnered as they don’t understand me. I feel like a reject even though I really should not think that. Such is life.. you will get through it.. we all will. Good luck.

      Reply to Tom

    3. Is your name Cindy, too? As mine is….I was wondering just what you did decide to do last year. Did you move into a house, etc? I live in Michigan. I do not believe you said what area you are from? Let us know how things are going….Cindy

      Reply to cindy

  87. Living alone was now what I expected but when my husband died, I was left alone. Fortunately, his daughters found a way for me to be on my own without being a problem for others. I have my mornings and evenings to myself and during the mid day, there is someone who comes to take me places I want to go and who are also happy to just stay with me coloring in my many coloring books. These women and the books have made my living alone much easier and I am very happy with it.

    Reply to J Milller Wolfe

      1. Try looking for an income affordable senior apartment which is what I am doing. They are very reasonable even if you are just living on your Social Security. They do not have meal service but have community rooms to meet other seniors, activities and some have workout rooms for exercise. You can Google them on the Internet in your area and most have photos to look at. Many have waiting lists so you need to hurry and get on several waiting lists of the places you like.

      2. I am looking for a senior apartment too. I hope to meet friends. I have joined social groups, church groups, senior groups and volunteered for the homeless. I was not well received. Everyone was in their own circle and did not want to let anyone else in. I am very outgoing and friendly so this is very disappointing to me. It is really too bad that society has become so selfish. I know there are a lot of other single people out there, like me, that just want friends to chat with or do something together that they have in common. I wish all of you the best of luck!

        Lonely in CA

      3. Hi Karen –
        Where are you in California? I am separated and in the process of filing for divorce. My husband is a cheater, 65-years old , put himself on a dating site, met a 75-year old in April and moved out to live with her May 9th. Our 15tb anniversary was on tbe 4th of July (yesterday.). Yippee!!!! I live in Manteca, CA near Stockton.
        Judy

  88. I am right there with you all. I am 71, retired RN, (for 1 year) widowed, alone and introverted by nature. No close friends. Not looking for a man but a friend, an acquaintance . Someone that I have something in common with and with whom I can carry on an intelligent conversation. 5+ years I have been alone and it has been a surreal nightmare. I have children who are so “busy” I rarely see them and occasional texts. I want to share a text I sent to my daughter yesterday after she texted me that I live the way I chose. That I I had options.
    Me: I don’t think I have a lot of options honey. Honestly with no self pity. I went to the Y and visited. Seemed like it would be OK for water aerobics but other than that, I wouldn’t use a weight roomer walking track. etc. plus it’s a monthly fee and $700 a year for membership. I went to “Meet Up” online and looked for birdwatching groups, animal advocates things I thought would interest me. Everything seems to be central Nashville and west. The vast majority of them are for twenty somethings. I don’t want to work anymore!! I had that responsibility on me 51 years. I thought I still had something to offer life and that life could offer me in return. Being old (the calendar and my physical body says this is so) and alone in this world is not an option I wanted but here it is. The best analogy is like trying to explain to someone what having a baby is like. You can’t do it unless that person has experienced it. Getting old is the same way. Oh I don’t sit here and cry crocodile tears. At least I have had the fortune to be able to get old. I just wish God hadn’t allowed me to stay this long. I didn’t want to lose my independence and dignity. As of today I am still independent. But dignified? I don’t feel that way any more. Being alone has taken a part of my person. I often feel wheedling, and silly. The chicken lady or the cat lady or crazy granny. Everyone I know has a family, a purpose……well, they have a life! I have gotten treatment for my depression (SUCH a godsend) I am not lazy or apathetic. I stay busy but part of me is gone. That I hate.

    Reply to Peggy Evans

      2. What I meant to say before I hit the wrong button, was I am 70 & have very busy children also. I was always married,raising my kids as a stay at home mom & then babysitting my grandchildren. Noe I’m really alone. My youngest grandson is 14 & very busy too. I find myself miserable and watching a lot of TV. Totally not me. I used to have so many friends & attended social events. Now it’s just me. I put maybe 10 miles a month on my car. Hate it but feel like I’m in so deep I can’t get out.

      3. Hi Doris, I was thinking next winter to spend it in some warm climate, so I may be interested in your renting me a room or something for a couple of months or so. However, before anything else, if you’re interested perhaps we could talk? Contact me here: pisardela@gmail.com. Thanx.

    2. Peggy , I am 53 and I feel everything you described here.
      I have one grown child also says to me I chose my way to live , I had options.

      Obviously cause they are young and healthy , maybe even make good money do not understand at all this situation of aging . And how we live in an ageist society .
      Until I was 50 my life was pretty good.
      But once my earning potential decreased life is just downhill from here.
      I have been divorced since I was 25. But was able to make a decent living on my own to support me and my kid.
      Even put aside some retirement money.
      As I hit 50 my income declined . Had to sell my home couldn’t afford the upkeep and mortgage .
      Renting a one bedroom apartment , but soon won’t be able to afford it.
      Been living off savings , can’t really get a good job with decent pay , also a few health issues that I can’t stand on my feet for long hours.
      Money that was suppose to be for retirement won’t even last that long.
      God bless you I can’t even imagine living till 71.
      Who can even offord to live that long?

      I have a good relationship with my son but he is building his life I don’t want to be a burden on him.
      I don’t really have friends cause I was always working and didn’t have time for friendships plus really never met good quality people .
      It never bothered me being alone on my own.
      But now I see as we age people need help.
      I can’t even carry groceries like I used too , and I am in pretty good shape ( not overweight )
      If I feel like this now in my 50’s , what will happen in my 60’s or 70’s. ?
      Every night when I go to bed , I pray not to wake up.
      Sucks getting old and that’s the truth.
      And unless someone has a good support system and money to live decent ( not looking for luxury , just decent )
      There is nothing fun or exciting about aging.

      Reply to Sunny

  89. Hi,
    I have been a teacher and intervention specialist for 43 years, extremely busy and also then hanging out with the educators after work.

    I have been married but divorced long ago, dated some but no one in the picture now. I thought I couldn’t wait for retirement but now feel like a ship without a rudder. I live in Western Washington. I have tried a couple meet ups but they seemed like younger people and kind of clannish.

    I like to go to foreign and independent films, a little wine tasting, an occasional casino trip but pretty frugal with my paltry teacher pension.

    Glad to meet you all!
    Patsi

    Reply to Patsi Robison

    1. Hi Patsy!

      I’m in the same boat here in Oregon, although I’m one of those married lonely people. I’ve been trying to connect with other Boomer women but, for whatever reason, they are hard to find. I came up empty on Meetup, too, so I am contemplating starting a group myself. There have to be other women out there who want to do more than sit around. What about plays! Antiquing! Exploring new places! Taking a class! Vineyard visits! Walking on the beach! And just sitting around talking about life and laughing! There a a lot of things to do that don’t cost much — “I’m just looking!” is my mantra. It’s the connection that’s important to me.

      There are so many of us and I keep thinking there has to be a way to get connected. Women NEED women.

      Keep chugging!

      Diane

      Reply to Diane Harris

      1. I am in Salem and am interested in going to plays, connecting for conversation, etc. with a fellow boomer woman. I am married. Let me know if you are within a doable distance. Emily 67, mildly but progressively handicapped. I am not religious.

      2. Hi Diane,

        I’m in the same boat!

        We moved to Oregon in November, fully retired. We had been traveling between San Diego and Seaside OR for a few years before the move. We always enjoyed it and I never felt a sense of loneliness.

        Now that we are here full time I feel very isolated and alone. My husband keeps himself busy with sports news, projects and television. I like to get together with people for walks, meals, music, wine tasting, exploring, movies, events in or out of the area. I’m not having any luck finding any groups or get-togethers here.
        I have been going to some exercise classes where members are certainly friendly, but I never see the same people twice. It’s a struggle for sure, and my husband doesn’t understand why his presence is not enough.

        I am 56 and my husband is 63.
        Where in Oregon are you?

        Take care,
        Sherry

      3. Hi Diane,
        Sorry I didn’t see this comment to me until now. Thanks for responding! I have adjusted to retirement, met a nice guy on plentyoffish and we are having fun volunteering with dog rescue and raising chickens in our backyard! I hope you are doing well! Wish we lived closer I’d love to go to movies, plays etc. with you! Take care.
        Patsi

    2. Hi Patsi, my name is Rosa and also a teacher and principal for 38 years. Retirement is a strange feeling being that our jobs entailed daily and multiple human interactions. Our jobs were very rewarding and I do miss the attention.
      Prior to retiring, I practiced for 3 years , looking for right volunteer service, planning trips, and looked for a part time job. I see retirement as changing jobs to less stressful ones with flexibility.
      I have many activities that keep me busy- volunteer work, part time job at university, gym, 2 sons at home, girlfriends, church…..but I desire someone being my romantic and significant man.
      I don’t want to go husband hunting, so I will give this dilemma for God to decide.
      Good luck with the struggles, it will be wonderful for us soon.
      Rosa

      Reply to Rosa

      1. Hi Rosa!
        I missed your response to my comment and just found it many months later. I have gotten through the adjustment of retirement, found a really nice guy on plenty of fish and we are doing well. We volunteer for dog rescue and are raising chickens in our backyard! Life has a way of surprising sometimes! How are you doing by now?
        Patsi

  90. I’m Gracie, I’m 70, I just want someone that i can talk to.I loved fishing,camping but since I gave up driving I now listen to music (oldies) I mostly read (supernatural romance) mainaly C. Feehan. I go to casinos, play games on my cell phone. And so on.

    Reply to Gracie

  91. Hi. I’m a 69 year young widow. All my life I gave my all to my husband, children, running a business and helping my husband with his business. Never had time for socializing. Now I am paying the price. Few devastating setbacks made me feel so useless and depressed but iI am over that now. My kids are grown with families of their own and I want to make female and male friends to socialize with. I live in South Jersey and don’t know where or how to go out and meet people. Any suggestions? Tired of waiting for my family to have the time to spend with me!

    Reply to Mary Ann Lentini

    1. Hello!

      I am 71 yrs young. I am a widow of 5 years for the second time. We were married 25 years. My first husband died before turning 34 with a massive hear attack. I have no children, but I do have 2 step-daughters who live in Virginia. I love both very much, but we do not get to visit much. However, we do speak by phone and send emails. I have been invited to come visit, but haven’t yet. Maybe I will, God willing!

      I attend church weekly and I love my church family. Great people who would help me for sure. I try to keep moving forward, but I do feel lonely at times. I believe that being a widow when younger is a lot easier than when you are older. Anyway, that is what I have come to realize. Another thing that helped me when I lost my first husband was my parents were living then and they supported me so much. The second time I became a widow my parents were deceased. I was lost without them. I pray for daily strength!!

      Reply to Sandy

    2. Hey. You should try a website called meetup
      I’ve known people who use it to find local gatherings in their area to meet new people. Also the perfect place to meet people more naturally is a gym. Sign up for a class (you will meet people and also improve your health which helps you feel better anyway! A class you can handle depending on your fitness level.) don’t be afraid to initiate a get together!

      Reply to GuardianAngel

    3. Hi Mary Ann
      I can relate! Lost my partner 2 yrs ago, all my fam lives in NY, I’m in VA. I hvnt found/ made friends& I’m so lonely& alone. I crave a friendship with a man now, to have girlfriends to hang out with. Anyone out here that lives in VA looking to make a good friend? Or lkng to make a good friend regardless of where u live?

      Reply to Diane

    4. Hi Mary Ann. I can empathize with you and I am formerly from New Jersey. I’m a 69 year old widow of 3 and 1/2 years, have 3 sons all living in middle of country which is where I am now. They are in 3 different states, by the way, all either 500 or 1000 miles apart. My husband and I went to CA for a job opportunity in 1998 and it was pretty great until he came down with memory issues and you can guess the rest. I had to move after he got laid off and wound up in TX with only son available at the time. Always feeling like I missed the chance to go home. I still think about it. It’s hard trying to blend in with my sons friends and his wife’s family. I feel like an outsider though they are always nice to me. Almost impossible to make friends as I don’t care to join most things available to folks my age. Anyway, I’m always optimistic and generally a happy person but need to get out and travel and talk and shop. Nice to read your story.

      Reply to Marie

    5. Hi Mary Ann,

      I read your comment and wanted to reach out to you. I want to connect with people also and live in South Jersey. If you would like to email me, Senior Planet has my email on file and has my permission to give it to you. I think we have a lot in common and this just may be the start of a great friendship.

      Hope to hear from you,
      Lyn

      Reply to Lyn

    6. I can empathize as I have devoted my life for my family now I feel I need to make time for myself and live a little I too live in southern New Jersey could use a good friend please let me know if there are any support or upcoming events in area thank you and wish everyone a blessed year.G:)

      Reply to Gio

  92. My life has run the course that many women have experienced: marriage (not the head over heals in love kind), kids, jobs outside the home… all-in-all productive and mostly satisfying. At 60 I left my marriage of 30 years, moved out of state, got a good job, made new friends, lived on my own and took care of myself. I’ve always felt like a strong, smart, capable woman. But lately I only feel lost. At 65 I left my job to once again move out of state to be near my children, one of whom I live with. Wow, loneliness and worry have hit me like a sledgehammer!

    Redefining oneself at 65 is hard work and exhausting. I did try a meet-up group, but all the ladies seem to have a lot of money, so it’s not a fit. Joined the YMCA. I’m looking for work again since Social Security won’t cover all my expenses, and I’m trying to balance my $ need with what I hope will be a more personally satisfying job… not just a 9-5. I do lose hope that I will ever meet a “love of my life”, but still wish for that. I can’t imagine anything better than finding the friend and love you want to go through life with… a mutually helpful, supportive, fun relationship. I will keep trying.

    Reply to Lynn

    1. My age has seemed to Stop Me….acing ,pains and just slowing down with a few friends that feel the same. I am a widow now for 22 years. Past relationships just haven’t been a match! I would Love to get up in the Mornings and find myself with a good attitude and feel like dancing. I know i must keep myself occupied. But some days ambition just runs out.

      So i will keep trying to find new things to do ,so i must lose this boredom!!

      Reply to Barb

  93. Bit of advise to all
    Please everyone be careful on the internet. Never use your real email, name, or phone number. Never give out any personal information. Always be careful in the information you do give out and of course never give anyone any money or financial information. That being said anyone that wants a friend that they will never meet, just someone to talk with. Write me at Karenbiloxi@yahoo.com.

    Reply to Karen

      1. Karen you are so right, I for one was hurt many time by young women for the same reason and that is I prefer senior and elderly ladies without thinking about their age per I’m not looking for age in a woman instead I prefer caring and of course the rest will follow..
        Khoe

  94. I was perusing the internet under “lonely” (that’s not so easy to type to the world) and it landed me on this place. I would love to have folks to chat with via email. I do still work (at home) and spend a lot of time on a computer … that’s an old story. I’m almost 65, live in Texas, but I can’t see how location should mean much. I have great kids, but they are grown up and I sure can’t see them every day :).
    kate4friendsUSA@gmail.com

    Love to give it a try.

    KMB

    Reply to Kate Brown

    1. Hi Kate, I’m from Texas also and would love to correspond with you. I am doing part-time home health work just to have a few extra bucks each month. I lost my husband in 2014, my mom and youngest sister, and my lab in 2015, and this year another sister, so it’s been a bad 2 1/2 years for me. When my sister passed in April it hit me hard. I just turned 70 in July and suddenly felt very alone. My sister had moved in with me and shortly after learned she had cancer. I miss her so much, though we always seemed to fuss at each other like two kids, lol. I haven’t been able to get over it all yet but I’m trying. I like being outdoors a lot, I have dogs I love to death, and I’m trying to learn how to sew. I don’t have the knack for it but I got the sewing machine set up on the table so there’s one accomplishment! The years go by so quickly, and I miss having people to talk to. What sort of work do you do at home? I was looking online for some type of work I could do at home, though the only work I’ve ever really done was 30 years of secretarial. Well, take care, I’d love to chat with you.

      Reply to Helen

  96. I am 61 years old and just looking for people to talk with. My last two husbands died and am not looking for a relationship. I am unable to get out and around. What are the best chat rooms or ways to find someone to talk with.?

    Reply to Karen

  97. Well if i really had been very lucky to meet the right woman in my life to have a family which i really could have been all settled down by now with my wife and family to grow old with. But i certainly wasn’t that lucky at all which someday i hope i will since growing old and being Alone would really suck for me.

    Reply to Bill

    3. I feel the same way. I am not opposed to getting into a serious relationship, but am just looking for friends to communicate and do fun activities with. If I find someone special along the way that’s wonderful.

      Reply to barb

    4. i know what your saying. i have no one and it does get lonely. looking for a really nice man for a good friend and who knows maybe more down the line. In this day and age you cant be too careful but keep the faith. Someone will come along. kathy

      Reply to kathy

  99. Wow… So many of us all alone! I am looking for someone to go to lunch with… Shopping.. a movie.. I never posted here looking for a boyfriend… Just a friend. I’m thinking we may all have a calling here. Seek out other lonely seniors and buddy up. Like I said, I live in SoCal my email is nocrapola@yahoo.com

    Reply to Renee

  100. I am Sisyphusian in my loneliness. Every day I belive this will be the day, as I try again, to roll the right stone up the incline. At the end of the day, it falls. I am left with an all for naught. I am in a cast from ankle fusion nessisated from a parachute drop in VN. I am 100% disabled Vet So the ankle confined me to my house, of which I am the only occupant. My girlfriend of 5 years, decides to clean me out by cashing bad checks, the month before my op. Then the next month she has a new guy, just shows up. Not a word of explanation, no visits or calls. It is obvious that her new realonship is intimately realonship. I do not know what more I could have done. My childhood friend has the attitude that it is OK to take from me, following my ex gf. He works so I will not see him for several days. So I have most of my time spent with myself . I am very much the man, I am kind to a fault, intellectual with out being arrogant, cannot carry a gruge, am always giving positive my friends post I’ve pets. Never do I try to change my friend, I am generous always maybe a little to much, I am honest, loyal, sharing, one realonship at a time, I have never cheated on friend. Skinner and I really enjoy sex ( not that I have been involved

    Reply to Sun Badger

      4. You don’t have to be lonely. Find a house of worship that have some senior members. We make great friends willing to listen and lend emotional support when need.

      5. The house of worship that I use to go to is not exactly friendly….I am poor they are mostly rich, it is simple as that…I cannot do the things they do because you have to pay for every activity.

      6. True. I tried that after I lost my husband of 45 years, but it became a chore trying to keep up with all the activities..I prefer to be alone, and just socialize with my children and granschildren. I go to daily Mass, shop as needed and then I just stay home. I don’t even like to talk over the phone. People exhaust me. I do read and watch TV. So I keep up with the world.

      7. Hello, Marion, the worship centers are the worst place to be when lonely you become more lonely than ever, I supported a startup church of member of 12 people only, every Sunday I feed the all members from 12 till the church went from 12 to 313 members and I keep feeding them. In 2004 I was in terrible accident almost die the pastor was my best friend he only visits 2 times and the best part is none the members ever call to know how I was doing until this day, the pastor relocate to another State, My son my girlfriend were killed also at that time again no nobody in the call and this is 15 years, so please stay away from the worship place, the love you only when you give them money.
        Stay well.

      10. I’m single by choice and have been for a long time. The longer I’m single, the more I know it’s how I want to be. Yes, I get lonely, not as much as some people I know.
        I’m very seriously thinking of starting a seniors living alone group, a start… a way to meet others and for all of us to have others to talk with, face to face. I just have to find a neutral setting to meet in.
        Wish me luck.

      11. Marsha Tegl I WISH YOU GOOD LUCK!!! And keep me in mind as I’m very much interested. Like you, I’ve been single for an awfully long time and don’t suffer as much as all the ladies and gentlemen here, but I do like a lot belonging to groups. I live in NYC and hope you are too? Or nearby? At any rate please contact me?: pisardela@gmail.com. :-)

      14. I live by Palm Springs, CA. I am 100% alone. At this point in time I’m considering moving to VA. At least the cost of living is better for a senior

      15. Hello to all. I just typed “alone and poor and 60 years old” in the Google search and ended up here. I used to live in southern California but moved to North Carolina in 2013 because my daughter was accepted to grad school here. We currently live together – she got her masters degree but is still working at Walgreens, which makes me very sad. I finally got a job for the State of NC – and I thought I was SO lucky at the time – but now I am trapped in a horrible job with people I cannot stand. I had a few friends in California – but it had become just “hi, how are you?” on Facebook and now I don’t even do that anymore. I have two work friends – one male and one female – they are both married and closer to retirement than I am – and they both travel a lot with their spouses. We do not socialize outside of work, of course. I am quite alone. My daughter has friends here now that she met while she was in grad school, so between working odd hours and going out with her friends, we do not see each other that much. I have been applying like crazy for jobs the past year, trying to get out of my current employment situation, but this State is very good ol’ boy, and southerners tend to look down on non-southerners – and I always heard before moving here that people were nicer. Ha, ha. I am getting ready to go out on stress leave, hoping I can find another job during that time. However, another thing about THIS state as opposed to California is that NC has a 60 day waiting period before you can draw disability. The California waiting period is 7 days. What is wrong with this picture? Most people are probably not on short term disability more than 60 days, even for surgeries, so this cheap-ass State gets away with not paying most people disability. There is something seriously wrong with North Carolina – but I cannot afford another interstate move. That’s my story in a nutshell, I guess – but there is much more to me than my problems! I cannot afford to travel but would be happy to email with anyone – just to chat about our lives, etc. I don’t know where my life is headed – but I’m really tired of not having any friends my age who understand me and why I worry every single day about the “future”. My email address is prettykitty54@ymail.com

      17. Dear Kat: I got to this site (Senior Planet) almost the same way you did, so paused to read you. I am also in the South, but in New Orleans. I have my master’s, but alas, advanced degrees guarantee nothing in this crazy world–at out age. Having lost everything, I live in very low-income housing. At 67 I am still extremely active–but awfully stymied by having a wonderful, valid driver’s license but a Camaro that is still sitting where it drowned years ago. I am looking for email company (no dating sites, no matches, no love interests). I would love to hear from you and will resist adding more details for now. Best, Eileen
        Kaptaintripps8181@hotmail.com

      18. Hi Kat, I am also a senior in Raleigh NC and cannot STAND NC!!! Where are you in NC? My email is mm951@att.net if you want to email me. I don’t have much money either but I have to get out of this area, I have never met weirder or more boring people than NC! Madge

      20. I understand what it’s like to be alone. All I want to do is sleep. Don’t drive so really just want someone to talk with. Live in Idaho.

      21. Renee: Are you still on this site? I relocated from No. CA to NJ awhile ago but always loved the So Cal area. Not very convenient to do things together but would like to be on-line friends……Patti

      23. Renee,

        I’m in So. Cal. also. I’ll be 62 pretty soon. So tired of just sitting trying to figure out where to meet people my age. I have yet to retire because it scares the heck out of me….more time on my hands….alone. My own fault really, I lost my oldest boy in 2007, my depression pushed most of my friends away never to return. Helped raise my 2 grandchildren until their mother remarried and moved to Arizona.

        Loneliness is scary and as time goes on in realize I have no one to confide in, no one to call with good news or no one to talk to when I’m down. Just need a friend.

      26. I Feel for you. Can you find a home that will take care of him properly so that you can at least have some freedom. After the life you have had you deserve it.

  102. The LAST thing I’m looking for is to sit ALONE in front of a computer to communicate as a social event. That’s EXACLTY what’s wrong in our society and as we grow older, our children have their own lives and most of our girlfriends are married. My idea of friendship is connecting and I don’t mean by electronics. I truly believe this is the demise of communication between people of all ages. Making plans by texts, friends and family asking how I’m doing or what I’m doing by text. That’s NO way to feel connected…at least not to me.

    Reply to treesy507

    1. Hi my name is tom i feel the same but here i am typing. ive just started looking for friends and trying this way as the ways to meet people have changed and activities are different at 72

      Reply to Tom

      1. MY PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE COMPRISES THREE TRUISMS : 1)”Four-door Porsche” is an oxymoron and an abomination unto the lord. 2) there is no such thing as a small bear, and 3) As to “social media” see 1) above – oxymoron.
        Except for maybe #2, you can see why I am all alone.
        I stay relatively sane by reading Bill Bryson and Stephen Hawking. I stay INsane by being so lonesome, sitting here Aging with Attitude.
        I would like to hear from aging people with Attitude.

        I heartily disapprove of “socializing” through “social media”!!!!
        I even wrote a reply just now and it disappeared, I don’t even know how to USE “social media”.

        My philosophy of life is as follows: a. “four-door Porsche” is an oxymoron and an abomination unto the lord; b. DITTO DITTO DITTO “social media”; and incidentally, c. there is no such thing as a SMALL BEAR.

        You appear to be more or less like-minded. I like your attitude: please respond.
        Charlotte

    2. Hi Treesy, I couldn’t agree with you more, a few years ago I told my friends I would not be emailing anyone any more, and if they wanted to connect with me they could pick up the phone and call me. I find it impersonal and sad to get texts and email from people no matter who they are, and even worse adult children and family members. I am 63 and in the last year or 2i seem to have gone through some kind of change where I feel like I no longer have friends that I can rely on and can’t seem to make friends easily like I used to. I still work but mostly alone. So my chances of meeting new people are pretty low. But I keep trying. Let me know if you might be interested in phone conversations. I live in Oregon.

      Reply to Mari

      1. Yes, trying to have friendships 100% by computer is a sad state of affairs. We need a thread linked to this one with sections for state or specific areas. I want to also mention to any lady out there who can live in the South, I plan to have asap a community home for ladies who want unlimited life extension with end goal of immortality if we can stay alive long enough to have it. Able bodied live in workers, tenants and on-site co-owners will be welcome. I hope it’s so good that it will be at least one little part of a wonderful home or compound that will have all residents a little closer to utopia. Organic garden would be nice, maybe also a site for a business or non-profit…I think it will just have to evolve from a rather small home of people who simply get along. This will also reduce the number (just a tiny bit) of people alone and lonely and trying to make computer friends suffice. Email me if interested or have any questions. guessmyneeds@yahoo.com

  103. Hi,
    I am 65, married, still working 12 hours a week but since I lost my dog 8 weeks ago I feel so very very lonely. My husband is 12 years older than I am and although he hasn’t worked for 15 years he keeps himself very busy with all his hobbies etc. We do little things together but don’t really have much to say to each other. I didn’t realise how attached I was to my dog as a friend and confidante until she died aged 15 1/2. We have chosen a puppy to come stay with us in 3 weeks time but my lack of friends is worrying me. Can anyone advise me on how to cope? Worried and lonely x

    Reply to Mary A

    1. I am sorry for your loss. It is always extremely hard to see our furry companions leave on their next journey. I grew up catholic but don’t practice and yet, it gave me great confort to light candles to St. Francis of Assists who is the protector of animals. and I also wanted to believe that both of my girls dogs that last at different times could see the candle on my window on their journey to their next world. As far as what you could do to feel less lonely there are no magical solutions. I found that I get up and I focus on doing physical little chores nothing heavy just enough that I can be using my hands and try to relax my thoughts. I hope that makes sense to you. I wish I were closer we could go out for a cup of tea in just keep each other company without the need for conversation if we didn’t feel like it. My thoughts are with you and so is the love for dogs.

      Reply to Stellamarisw

      1. Thank you for your reply. Tonight I am trying to pull myself together and decide if I get the puppy or not. My husband has taken ill with anxiety and a chest infection.I do sympathise but would love for him to be strong for me and not fall apart when I’m feeling low. Just once in a while I would like to be the one getting looked after. Serves me right for being a “strong” person. I have been trying to do wee jobs about the house and it does help. I am off to make a cup of tea with which I will raise a toast to your good health. Thanks again

  104. I am 65 and very lonely. I have been divorced twice, and am beginning to feel like a loser. I have had some relationships, but have had several disappointing blind dates lately. I am a bit leary of on-line dating services, but have sort of tried them. I didn’t find a “soul mate” or anything. I am well educated and independent, but just do not understand why I have not been able to sustain even friendly relationships. I feel like I am crawling out of my skin. I want to cry. I want to scream. I am a Christian, and wonder where God is in this time. Maybe tomorrow will be better. I am plagued with anxiety attacks.

    Reply to VannieLou

    1. Dear VannieLou,
      First I want you to take a deep breath! Or two! I think you should change the focus of your search, from looking for a romantic relationship, to just looking for friends that share a common interest.
      It may be better for you, at this time, to find and join “meet up” groups in your area. There are meet up groups for people that like to walk, hike, bike, read, sail,…….just go to dinner meet up groups…..you name it,…you can probably find a meet up group for it! There are also camera clubs, book clubs….your local library may know one you can join. I think this may be a better way for you to meet people for now.
      Join a meet up group, or club that interests you. Or even take ballroom dancing lessons or painting lessons…..You might also think about volunteering at something. Animal shelters are always happy to have volunteers to walk the dogs…..and you can specify only small dogs if that suits you better, and they always need help with fund raising…….These things and similiar will get you out of the house, enable you to meet people of all ages, and give you a better perspective on everything……and just maybe help you find the friends and relationships you want! YOU are in control of this,….you can do it……

      Reply to Nim

      1. Augh, I don’t know how you guys do it. I moved from living in Europe and the MIddle East for 20 years and the way people are with seniors (really over 40) is rather shocking. I have been back for 3 years and have never felt so lonely, and like a looser. I tried church, but I think something happens when you turn 50, like a fly on the wall…no one notices you, wants to sit with you at social functions (it is a small church) most are families and/or older and married.

        I just lost my job (that already did not pay much) I am too young to get social security or use my 401k (which is not much), I do not own my own home and have to live with my daughter, which I am sure that she is about to go crazy…her boyfriend just moved in. I am 56, never thought that was old but ageism sure exists in the job market! I hate to sound depressing, I have never had it this bad. People always used to make sure that I did not spend Shabbat alone, or Sundays. No one used to care if you were old, single or with family. I found it really closed here in this country. You cant even walk to a nearby park and sit on a bench and yack with others…of all ages!

        After reading these threads, I do not look forward to getting any older. I have lost all hope. I have children and 2 grandchildren and they are the apple of my eye…but I spend most of my time alone, talking to my daughters dog. I try to look for work, but after 400 tries, and nothing? augh. really. I give up. Don’t want to be around anymore. I don’t know how you guys do it. I used to feel happy and blessed, but wow…this is the biggest trial I have ever been through. It takes a village, but when there isn’t one…a person drops fast.

        I thought of moving back abroad, but I spent all my savings to move stateside. No family there or a place to start over.
        Feeling really trapped. I went to a psychologist and they just kept trying to keep me going, letting me try different things, ways to find work but you know them…they never give advice. You have to do that all on your own. A would of wisdom, from many people used to be great! I don’t have that either, my parents are gone, my sister is gone, augh. Sorry, I am venting here. I wish that our work place would not stereo type us so much and our society would not be so quick as to put us in the closet. It is not this way in the Middle East or at least Italy. They love their elders!

    2. Hi Vannie-Lou
      l must say that most of these meetup groups
      are 95% made up of women at least that is the case in Melbourne. l find RSVP is the best way to meet a possible partner, that is if you are looking for a male. l have met a few very nice men, who l have had a lovely relationship with, and at present am seeing a nice fella who wants a lifetime partner(so he says) He seems decent and honest.
      Get an expert to check your online profile and the wording is really important, and the photo needs to be a good one and NOT one from 10 yrs ago.l am 63yrs and have had quite a bit of interest in my profile.
      Good luck!!

      Reply to helen

    3. I’d suggest getting an older dog, not a puppy. Puppies need lots of play time, whereas an old dog is a sweet companion who just wants to go for shorter walk, stay close, love and be loved. Taking on a puppy now would be like taking on a baby. Think of what’s fair for the puppy, too. Older dogs rock!

      Reply to Mare

    4. I moved to Big City in Arkansas, Ha! After my divorce. We had been married 30 years. I moved to LR to be by my grandchildren more, but I don’t see them or my daughter that much. I was born and remained in my hometown in SW Ar until my divorce and when I went to college. I miss my hometown. I have many interests, but I miss having someone to just go out and shop at flea markets or go to the museum or the zoo, just miss having someone to talk to. I have always liked being alone but this is too much. I am 65, have rheumatoid and psoriatic arthritis but still get around. I am definitely young at heart. Love to meet someone just for friendship.

      Reply to Shelley Thompson

      1. Hi Shelley, I live in Hot Springs, am 69 and just out of 12 year relationship with a good man –having to acclimate. Its a challenge to say the least. I would like to hear more about your life and how you are coping. Dorothy

    5. VannieLou

      I am 67, divorced after being married for almost 45 years, not my doing. Kids have turned from me so loneliness is a part of life. Would love a friend around my own age to just email and chat with. I am a Christian also and ask God for advise every day. Hope you would like to chat. My email is shopping97482@yahoo.com if you would like to talk. I’m not sure I will find my way back to this site.

      Reply to Joy

    6. Hi Vannie Lou:

      Your post struck me as having very similar feelings to my own. I’ve been divorced 3 times and although I know “it takes two to tango” (or tangle), I chose one bad partner after the other – the 3rd marriage nearly sent me over the edge because he was the love of my life (still is) and broke my heart. So at age 60 I left him for the third time, quite a $55,000/yr job, packed up and moved 400 miles away, back to my hometown. Although I love the peace and privacy of living in a rural area where there are still some childhood friends, I’ve discovered after 3 years that I’m becoming more lonely. Most of my “new” friends are in the late 70’s, some approaching 80. They’re lovely people and I’m grateful to have them in my life, but they are all married. I miss having good, wholesome conversations and that is what’s missing in my life. I enjoy silent sports like kayaking and don’t mind going alone – sometimes I prefer it. I’m approaching age 64 in a few months. I love my kids (3), but not one of them will be in a position to take care of me when my health starts to fail. They each have “issues”. I’ve learned that a person in my situation needs to realize that I’m in this world alone and will have to figure out what to do with myself as I age. Thanks for listening.

      Reply to Kris Nelson

  105. I’M FULL DEAF, 84 AGED LIVES ALONE SO I’M GAY PERSON SO I STILL HAVE LOOK A NEW OR LONG TIME BECAUSE OF DEAF GAY BOYFRIENDS BUT NOBODY HAVE ME AGAIN FOR LONG TIME SO I STILL DISAPPOINTED REALLY BUT HAVE PATIENCE YEARS SINCE
    MY LATE PARENTS ARE VERY CRUEL ME WHEN I WAS GREW UP SO I STILL MISS MY TIME WAS GOOD TIME BUT NOT SAME PAST
    NEVER MIND AND HOP ONE DAY TO BE LUCK PERHAPS NEVER KNOW , REGGIE X

    Reply to REGGIE ANDREWS

  106. First of all, loneliness is most definitely correlated to relationship status. Let’s stop all of this BS (and no, I am not referring to a Bachelor of Science!) and political correctness, as a consequence of which no one wants to admit that they are lonely because they do not have a mutually and reciprocal loving relationship!

    When you do not have a loving life partner to be with, to go on walks with, to dine with, to watch TV with, to cuddle with, to sleep with, etc., you ARE lonely!

    Having said, that, however, I would much rather be lonely than to be with one of those guys who even in their late 50s still have not learned to be a real man, and who, in fact, have no desire to be one.

    In my dictionary, a man is a male (who was born a male – I cannot believe that we have reached the stage in our social downfall that we would even have to clarify this!), who is honorable (i.e., does not lie, does not cheat, is monogamous), conducts himself with a sense of commitment and duty, and understands that delaying gratification is what a mature person does (i.e., you don’t hope in bed with whatever old or young broad is throwing herself at you).

    Since there are no men nowadays, at least none that I have met, I am alone. I am also lonely; however, I have my dignity, my sense of pride and of personhood intact. Lonely with dignity is much better than coupled in misery.

    Reply to KnowingLady

    1. You are right that it is very hard nowadays to admit that being single is lonely and unfulfilling and that we would like to be in a relationship. Society places so much value on independence. I have been criticised by several people for admitting that I would love to be in a close relationship as if I am ‘letting the side down’ by being lonely on my own.
      I think there are many men around who are decent and caring and who secretly long for a relationship as much as we do, but as you have found it can be difficult to find them.

      Reply to Chris

      1. I have now been living alone for 9months. I am 63 yrs and have never lived on my own . I have chosen to leave my 28 yr marriage and would love a man to live here with me. I am doing everything in my power for this to happen. I have been on the dating site, have placed ads in the senior mag and was in letterbox friends and over the past 3years have met about 35 men and am slowly realising generally they don’t want a permanent relationship.some have been liars, thieves, and just disloyal. I don’t really think they know what they want. But l will never give up my search.

      2. It’s ok to keep searching for a significant other, but don’t put your life on hold…go ahead and travel, get a pet, garden, use the good dishes, dress pretty, etc. for yourself….it would be too sad not to do things you wanted to because you were waiting to meet Mr. Right.

      3. Thanks Beth for your constructive comment. l actually have been to China 3 months ago with a male friend. Its a bit difficult travelling on my own. l am thinking of getting a pet, though they do tie you down. l do dress up nicely when l go out and really look after my appearance. It feels good to dress well.
        It has been a great experience meeting so many different men, and every one of them so very different.
        Do you live alone? If so, what do you do to occupy your time?

      4. My hat is off to you. I admire someone who sticks by her convictions. I’m sure someday you will meet someone worthy of your love. You give me hope that there are sincere and honest people still left in this
        world.

      6. That said Chris, it seems to be a stigma to admit that you are lonely…like we have to be some kind of super hero, have to learn to be happy with ourselves. I say that is BS. Relationships are important, and I agree it is difficult to find someone who is actually decent. I have not had anyone put their hands on my shoulders for almost four years. no touch from any human. I have five children, but they don’t even touch my neck or back. I can’t afford a message…oh how that would be wonderful. I would probably just break down and cry a bucket of tears just from the touch.

        I don’t know why it is so difficult in these days to find honest people. The world would be such a better place for all! Secretly longing for a relationship, should not be the case, but it is and it is confusing to me. Good luck!

  107. For many of us, if not most, our lives are largely orchestrated by situations and events that lead us to live our lives with little time to choose how we really want to spend our days, if we had complete control over them. We go to college, marry, have kids, and do what needs to be done as the years roll by to nurture and keep all healthy and happy.

    …………When situations change, and we find ourselves the captains of our own ship, so to speak, with no one else demanding or needing our time and attention, or telling us where we need to be or what we need to do, we sometimes feel like the only one left on the island. And for many of us, this new awakening is scary and lonely.

    …………Try not to think of it as a negative, try to think of it as “your turn to be captain”……..You get to paint the picture of your day or night……You get to decide where you want to go, what you want to see and learn, and what mountain you want to try to climb!

    ………Attitude and the willingness to be honest with yourself and take a real inventory of where you would like to go and what you would like to do at this point in your life is the first step. Obviously, your health will be a major consideration……but if you have a health problem that can be improved or even resoved with eating correctly and exercising, that should be your number one focus to begin with.

    ……..It does not matter if you are 22 or 72,…….No one of any age meets people magically,……they have to go out and attend classes, join clubs and “meet-ups”,……volunteer at the animal shelter, …join a book club,…..etc. Don’t know what to do? Make a list of things you liked to do BEFORE you were 14 years old……..Did you like to go fishing? Tap dance? Paint or draw? Take piano lessons or guitar? Well, do them now! It’s your life now to design the way you want……and it’s patiently waiting for you.

    Reply to Nim

  108. I’M PROFOUNDLY DEAF, 74 AGED , LIVES ALONE,SO I’M GAY BUT NOBODY HAVE ME OVER MANY YEARS . SO I WILL BE MOVING TO BRISTOL SOON BUT I WILL HAVE LOOK A NEW HOME NEXT YEAR .I FEEL NOT HAPPY HERE WITHOUT GOOD FRIENDS OF MY OWN
    I FEEL BIT DISAPPOINTED ABOUT THIS BUT HAVE PATIENCE YEARS, SO I HAVE ONCE 6 WEEKS RELATIONSHIP SO HE IS LEFT ME OVER HIS HEALTH PROBLEM, I MISS PRIVATE LIFE WITH GAY PERSON I FEEL LOSE MY CONFIDENCE SO HAVE TO WAIT SEE WHAT HAPPEN LATER BUT I KNOW BIT HARD FOR DEAF PERSON REALLY, , HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR FOR 2015, BLESS YOU REGGIE ANDREWS

    Reply to REGGIE ANDREWS

  109. Hi David,
    Thankyou for your suggestion, and l must say l dont have any pets as yet and am considering getting one, but l am not too sure about a dog, as they are smelly and high maintenance, but they do make good companions. l would much rather have a human as company, but that isnt easy to find.
    At my age of 63, l find most men who are single are looking for someone much younger than they are, and there are so many more women out there than me.
    l am looking into getting a rabbit or cat.

    Reply to Helen

    1. David,

      Having a dog has been a wonderful experience for me. I use to have a cat (22 years old) and then I thought it would be good exercise and push me to be a little more social to have a dog. I also have a LAB.
      Whatever you’ve gone through that has left you feeling alone this Christmas, just know others do understand. Something else I’ve also realized is that Loneliness can come from many sources – not just from the physical distance of other human beings.

      Reply to Fluffy

    2. Hi David,
      Happy New Year!! How are you going in this new experience of living alone? Its now 5.5 months since l have moved into my new home. l have girlfriends over for lunch and l talk on the phone a lot to men l have met on the online dating site. There is one particular man who lives in the country l speak with, and he and l find great satisfaction doing this as we a re both on our own.Perhaps it will develop into a lasting relationship.
      Through facebook this week l connected with my childhood girlfriend and we spoke for the first time in 45 years on the phone. Wow! What an experience. She is coming down from the country in Feb. to meet me. You have to get out there and try every avenue possible to connect with people and you may be surprised what it can lead to.

      Reply to Helen

  111. Hi Walker,
    It’s now 4months since moving into my own home after leaving my husband. If you don’t remember my story just read further back.
    I noticed you wrote that you have been caring for your mother for a number of years and that probably took up a lot of time perhaps preventing you for searching for a partner.
    I have a very close relationship with my 28yr old son but he didn’t move in with me because l wouldn’t allow that as l am afraid he will stay with me for the rest of my life and care for me in my old age preventing him from finding a partner. They say “Give your child roots and.wings” Whenever he comes for dinner and goes to leave it pains me so much inside to
    see him leave as then l am alone again.
    the silence here is so hard to cope with.
    Helen.

    Reply to Helen

    1. Hi Helen,

      I’m glad you posted here again. I just found a previous reply from you in my spam folder because I got a message about “this” one and then saw your response here from earlier. Please see below my new reply to you from when you posted earlier

      Your writing about your son also strikes a chord.I’m glad to read you and he feel close to one another. I also understand the pain you must feel when he leaves. At 28, they are quite independent and though they may still have a dependent side, we want for them a life of love, success and happiness.

      Can I suggest combating the silence with a bit of noise dilution in your home? Unless, I have to concentrate, I tend to leave music playing in the background. I like all kinds – some days I’ll listen to Bossa Nova style, sometimes light rock and pop, sometimes classical or jazz. I also watch certain kinds of movies and am partial to quirky ones and not surprisingly, those that depict lonely people who need “rescuing”… :-)

      When I was a child, my sister and I loved the movies, dancing and playing little starlets like in the movies. I never lost my love for old black and white films too. Besides these, I also like science fiction and other genre.

      My other activities as the weather permits is staying busy in the yard because frankly, it would look bad if I didn’t. I have a gym membership and swim at the pool and do light workouts.
      I read, as my attention span and focus allows me…and I enjoy a good read when the mood strikes.

      Recently, I am trying my hand at ‘beaded’ jewelry but am awful at it….those tiny beads and bad lighting are killing my eyes.

      Lastly, my dog. I can’t stress it enough but over the last 5 years, having him has made a difference in keeping the loneliness in check and certainly, depression is lessened. Now, I probably won’t get another dog for some time if and when something happens to him because I have had to put travel extended length of times on hold. When he was in better shape, I traveled more – and so did he!

      I think if a person is feeling lonely and has the patience and time to care for an animal …I think it’s a good option. It’s also a commitment and just as when a child or parent becomes ill, when a dog becomes elderly, leaving them to do something (like travel) gets complicated.

      Other than that, I’ve heard of some places where unrelated people live (I think it’s in Oregon) in a place where all different ages live, communally. I thought; how clever! People who may not have good finances or without grandchildren find a match and some kind of a social barter takes place. I’m not sure it’s something I could ever do as I like my space too much but I think if it works and everyone is happy…then well done.

      Reply to Fluffy

  113. I am in my late fifties and have always wanted to marry and have a family but it has not happened and although I still do online dating, I am starting to lose hope. I never thought that I would spend my life alone. I have been deeply lonely for over 30 years and feel that my life has been such a waste. Have no family since my parents passed on and although I go out and about,it all feels so empty.

    Reply to Chris

    1. Hi Chris,
      l am sorry that you have not found a partner in so many years, and l wonder whether you were maybe a bit fussy and set yourself too high standards. l believe we can all find someone, but as mum said to me, you have to close one eye in choosing a partner, meaning that we cannot wait for the perfect person. We must all compromise on who we choose.
      l am now on my own having left my husband, and have also been online searching, but that has only been quite a short time. l have met a couple of men, but somehow nothing came of them, though l will never regret having had them in my life.
      Just be positive and perhaps that person is just around the corner. Keep trying, but dont set too high standards.
      Helen.

      Reply to Helen

      1. Hi Helen, no, I haven’t set too high standards.
        I have generally found that men see me as a sister figure or a friend rather than as a potential partner. There seems to be something lacking in me and I don’t know what it is, something which most other people have which causes others to fall in love with them, but which I do not have.
        I find dating stressful because I feel pressurised to be interesting and entertaining when, in reality, I am a shy introvert. My life has been such a waste.

    2. Hi Chris,
      I suspect you are not alone in those feelings. I think it must get harder as one ages, worrying about a future alone. I have no great advice for you other than to be open and optimistic and not let your ‘single’ status get in the way of living life fully (a reminder to myself as well).
      My best to you, and a thanks for being open about your struggles.

      Reply to Walker Thornton

    3. Chris, I think it’s a hard place to be, when you really want and desire something and it doesn’t seem to be happening or hasn’t happened yet. I know it must be a concern … sorry you are feeling so alone.

      I think it’s good to have certain standards but to re evaluate what they are and see if maybe you can stretch or expand in some social situations. I can’t say I completely understand because I’ve been married quite awhile but I do understand loneliness and anxiety about growing older without many connections or family. Both of my parents passed in the last 10 years, my siblings are spread out (2 are estranged) and my only child tends to be distracted and busy.

      I keep busy by volunteering (almost full time) and earn a small income from some online pursuits. Other than that, my real time social life is nil. I have a few people I correspond with online who I’ve known for several years and I try to stay in touch by sending cards and a handful of emails throughout the year for friendly updates. I find this has helped me – not so much because it takes the place of deeper real time connections but because I kept up with them and I hope it means something special to them as it has meant to me.

      .

      Reply to Fluffy

      1. Hi Fluffy,
        Thank you for your kind response.
        I have made a big effort for many years to go out and mix with people, as sitting alone at home would make me feel even lonelier. I go out to various sorts of groups-language groups, reading groups, discussion groups and I have a few friends as well. But the centre of my life, where there should be love and closeness, is empty. And despite going out and also doing online dating, I have not met anyone for a relationship. It is ironic that some people see me as ‘enjoying my freedom’ by going out and about, while in reality I go out to get away from the four walls and the extreme loneliness of my life.

      2. People keep talking about doing things, staying busy, etc., but that is not my problem; I can keep busy, I can literally read all day if I have a good book, walk the dog, work in the garden, but I’m still alone. When you have someone with you who cares about you it’s not necessary to “do” anything – just going for a walk or any of the daily things we do – it’s different when you’re alone. Telling your partner the silly thing the dog did or wondering why the tomatos aren’t ripening or that you really don’t care for your new dental hygienist – sharing the little things…that’s what I miss. I’ve had my Christmas tree in the same spot for the last 4 years…a simple tradition it would have been nice to share, but this year I didn’t get a tree or celebrate Christmas….I’m 62, all of my friends are either part of a couple or very involved with their children (mine live far away) There’s not even anyone to go to the movies with. I dread the thought of another 20 years of this.

      3. Thank you for expressing so well what I felt and know to be my reality. People keep trying to tell me to keep busy, volunteer, walk the dogs (which I do everyday anyway because I love them and they are happy walking the park), and so on and so forth… I don’t know that either one of us will ever find the answer, at best we can look inside ourselves and focus on all the positive things about our lives yet I understand that it is unrealistic to do so 24/7 so if there a such a thing as a new years resolution, mine will be to accept my reality and compell myself to enjoy every day for whatever it may have to offer. Sometimes it may be wonderful, exciting, and thrilling; other times it may have a touch of melancholy sprinkled in…. I am very lucky that I have wonderful neighbors and what I call my park friends because we all walk our dogs and share their little shenanigans but deep in my heart I know that it doesn’t replace having a family in the traditional sense. So let’s continue with our lives, keeping busy when we feel like it and chilling out when we don’t feel like being busy. Reading your comment helped me and I wanted to thank you for that…. by the way, I am 64 and have been physically alone most if my life… so I know how to be alone but not always like it.

      4. Elizabeth-I put up a small Christmas tree and a few small decorations for Christmas, but I didn’t see anyone at all for five days over Christmas as my friends were with their families. It was a bad time and I am glad that it is over. Next Christmas I plan to put my name down for Christmas dinner with the Salvation Army so that I won’t be alone on Christmas Day.
        I can understand your not celebrating Christmas. It has become the ultimate family event in the west and those alone often feel excluded.
        I have also found that people start going on about ‘keeping busy’ and ‘going out’ if I mention being lonely, as if they think that I am sitting at home doing nothing all the time.

      5. Thanks for writing this, Elizabeth. It’s exactly how I feel. Made me feel better to read it. I’m 64, never married, retired for two years, have three cats, own my home, am financially okay, had a fulfilling career. I’ve always been independent, but I’m surprised now to discover how hard it is (or how hard I’m finding it) to live alone. I can keep busy and have kept busy with classes and volunteering, but keeping busy seems like an endless task sometimes.

      6. elizabeth, where are you located. so much of what you say is how i feel. i live in nevada. i have been divorced twice from men after short marriages and have no children. today i turned 72 and while texts and emails were nice there was no bd celebration….goes for xmas….etc. seems friends [?] i have are married and don’t grasp the meaning of being alone.

      7. i agree! I’ve been busy since my divorce and yet so lonely I cant stand waking up in the mornings. I was married 28 yrs to the father of my two sons. I lost him to cancer. Most shocking was my sons abandoning me. 3 yrs later I met a man online. We married and then his abusiveness appeared. We were married for five yrs. I tried so hard to please him and make the marriage work. Yet in the end, he filed for a divorce! I should have been the one to file, many yrs ago. He didn’t let me work. So I had nothing. I got the old motor home in the divorce and am living in it. I got a job at Walgreens, which is hard on me, especially when I have to go home alone. I love and try so hard at having a happy marriage. But after the last one, I’m really confused and scared of getting into another relationship. Yet at the same time, I feel I can’t go on being so alone. I’m 55 yrs old and giving and doing for others to a fault. Can’t understand why I’m alone. Have been used by so many that I have nothing much left except my love. And no one seems to want that. I don’t know what to do anymore. Just tired.

      8. Denis, life extension is where a lot of tech interest and $ is going right now. That won’t help of course with our loneliness. Tech seems to be of limited help without say, making rural areas into some place where socialization gets some attention. I’ve heard that 5G will bring about “smart cities” but maybe that won’t help us find friends. There are three of us here, myself, husband and my mom. They both seem happy just with the other 2 here, but what about if one of us is left alone. My husband and I think of it and are concerned and working towards getting into senior housing community where a social setting is more built in or at least available. Don’t give up. Have you tried a meetup group where there would be some people with no social support system. My mom is not happy that she has no one to go to the movies with.. I cannot go to the local theater due to a spine problem, I need a recliner (or my own reclining chair) and neither are good with my local theater. We would have to go to a theater much farther away. But back to tech, maybe there is a way in the foreseeable future. There should be more ways to meet people locally, such as an integration of google hangout and meetup groups, to give people an option to attending in person AND there should be many more meetup groups that are for specific needs and desires. Wonder why there aren’t !

      9. Chris, I’ts been almost 2 years – has anything if much changed? Just curious. I check this thread every now and then just to catch up.

        Best to you and everyone else here. :)

      10. I finally got sick of being depressed about being alone, although it is still a challenge at times. I finally stood up and said I’ll be damned if I’m going to let anyone put me in a dark corner. I go out and do what I want: hiking, shopping, gym, bike rides,

        I am NOT going to listen to snide remarks and hateful insults anymore.

      1. Hi Sharon,
        It has been scary for me too being on my own. l moved in to my home here over 4 months ago and they tell me in time it will get easier, but in the meantime l have been on the dating site and am meeting men. l dont know your age. l am now 63 and really do want to find a partner to move in here with me. So many women who llive with their husbands envy me as they say l can do as l please and have no responsibilities to anyone, but l am used to serving my partner and my son, so it really does feel like a gap in my life.
        You have to just get out there and stay busy. l do various things like l work from home in clothing alterations, l go to gym, l do a bit of voluntary work. l am thinking of getting a student in to my spare bedroom, and l do need to get a pet which l will do soon.
        Good luck and keep in touch with how things are going for you.

  114. Two weeks ago l left my husband after a 28 yr marriage. Dealing with his aspbergers syndrome has been very challenging and demanding and l finally gave up and decided to move out.
    We didnt have any friends at all, as people with aspbergers find it hard to interact in social situations. l craved having couples as friends, but never had any. Also l never really had a husband as my friend, because sadly he doesnt have feelings and cant communicate on a personal level and that made my loneliness even worse.
    l had separated from him “under the one roof” for 4 years and in that time was caring in our home for both mum and dad who both had dementia. l was working in my home based business so had a little interaction with my customers. l also went online on RSVP where l met a number of men just for coffee, as l told them l was still in the same home as my husband, and l think that scared them off.
    l corresponded with a country fella for 2.5 years and he came down to see me a few times. He was an alcoholic and chain smoker, but he had some good qualities. He died of oesophegal cancer last November which was upsetting and before he died he told me that it was a pleasure to have known me. That touched me deeply.
    l was also in a 2 yr platonic relationship with an elderly gentleman. He was good company but that ended. Not sad about that at all.
    So 2 weeks ago l moved in to my new home and 2 days ago my 3rd relationship ended with a man l truly loved and l am shattered now and keep crying.
    l feel so lonely here as its the first time in 62 years l have lived alone. l do crave having a long term relationship with a man as l never had a husband really.
    My son says l should just keep busy and struggle through in this loneliness and eventually l may not mind being here alone.
    l do have a couple of girlfriends who are good to me.But making friends l have always found challenging. People are very complicated. My parents lived a solo life and had to constantly deal with their schizophrenic daughter which took away the lustre of their lives.
    As yet in all these years l havent discovered the secret of happiness and how to banish that excruciatingly difficult feeling of lonliness, but must never give up hope……..

    Reply to helen

    1. Helen,
      Thanks for sharing your story–does sound like you’ve had some tough times. I applaud you for taking steps to create the life you want to live. It takes time, and I know that may not be what you want to hear.
      Why not take some time to get to know your new surrounds, find a book group, go out to a nearby restaurant or other activities. Take some time for you–adjust to your new unfettered life and let some of the hurts heal. Wanting a longterm relationship is a legitimate desire but if you’re too hung up on finding that it can take over, making you feel less happy and somehow less fulfilled. You’ve had lots of changes recently, don’t push yourself and don’t try to find that right one…not just yet.
      And, best to you in all that’s going on.

      Reply to Walker Thornton

      1. Thank you for your kind caring thoughts. Yes, after so many years of marriage l have finally freed myself of my partner and living alone here now. You write ” living the life you want to lead” well, my problem is not knowing how to live this new solo life. Being here alone each day is scary – never been on my own. Sitting here looking out the window at the fine droplets of rain coming down l do wonder what is in store for me in my future. That will ultimately be up to me to decide which way to go………….

      2. Helen,
        I understand, having been alone too. It will take some time and it will feel awkward. It’s as if you have to “sit with” that discomfort for a while. Not easy.
        Are there any singles groups around? See what MeetUps offers in your area–you should find it online and they have all kinds of interests groups you can join-bridge, books, exercise, spiritual, etc….

      3. l have in the past been to singles groups, and l do feel its a bit daunting, especially when l see so many women and so few men. l do feel uncomfortable there. l would rather do some charity work which l will look in to. l have been to one meetup in life drawing which l loved, but they were all around their 20s or 30s, and l find most of these meetup groups are for younger people. l may volunteer in an op shop but would rather help people more directly. Just got back from gym and the feeling is really eerie entering a quiet home with no one here. l have a bit of work here to do though as l have a small clothing alteration business where l have just started up again from my front room.Thanks again for your feedback.

      4. Well, many people become lonely at some time in their life. I was lonely after my education and got the job. It was a weird experience for some time. Then, I thought, well, it is an opportunity to do things when you have time, which may not be possible otherwise. I frequented library, read many books. I started playing Tennis, which has stayed with me even now, late in my life. If you pick up Tennis, one can play till late 70s and you always find people to play of your age. I started doing exercise, joined the Gym too. i learnt cooking and so on. Just a thought from my side.

    2. Helen,

      I think you are a most brave woman to keep your heart alight toward others in this world after going what you have gone through. I envy your determination and think you will find a person who cares for you, wants your friendship and companionship and who will love you in the way you deserve to be loved. I’ve known people with Aspergers and it’s very tough …you have my admiration. I also feel lonely, even though I am married – I don’t seem to be able to connect with people very well. Never had the knack for it and as you say, people are complicated. Best to you always…

      Reply to Fluffy

      1. Fluffy,
        Oh thankyou so much for the lovely things you said to me.
        You sound like a very lovely person Fluffy. l live in Melbourne Australia and just moving into my new home 3 weeks ago l do feel very very lonely and a bit sad, but it was my choice. Living with someone with Aspbergers is so difficult. You know if you ever want to you can come down and stay with me here a bit and will show you around our nice city. We would have lots in common.
        l live in a middle class area and my home is very comfortable.
        Actually your husband does a lot of travel, so why shouldnt you get up and do something brave for a change!!! You wont regret it!
        l also have social anxiety l suppose partly because the 32 years l lived at home with mum and dad they never had a single friend. Mum cooked every night. In their 60 years of living in Australia, they never once went out to a restaurant!! A bit weird dont u think?
        l can hear the ticking of the clock in the other room. Its so quiet here.
        l have craved all my life to find a friend, who really is a true friend. When l phone anyone telling them of my problems they just listen and dont really help all that much and just get on with their own things.
        l do envy those that can handle social situations well. l think firstly l need to feel good about myself, am not sure how to work on that. l am seeing a psychologist and she will try to steer me in the right direction. l need to develop self esteem, assertiveness, and confidence. My husband was always putting me down though l know l am capable and am a doer.
        Keep in touch……

      2. Dear Helen,

        I’m sorry I let so much time go by without replying. Your reply went into my spam folder but is most welcomed and I’m inclined to say, also, thank you for your invitation to visit with you in Melbourne. It was generous of you to have offered.

        Yes, it is very strange that your parents never went out to eat. I think maybe in those days…people saw “eating out” as extravagant and something only others with money did. Or it was just simpler times with larger families perhaps?

        I love to eat out…but my family also seldom did it back then.

        I hope you are adjusting in your new home. Did you move within the same area? Again, I believe you are most brave indeed!

        I do go occasionally and travel with my spouse. I would go even more if my sweet old dog wouldn’t have to be left at the kennel OR if we had someone who we could trust enough to come into the house and take care of him. Now that’s he’s getting on, I am less comfortable leaving him than I was when he was younger. Strange, yes…I know it sounds so, but some anxiety about HIS anxiety and now I’m a little stuck when it comes to traveling. I do love it though!

        I’m catching up here at this thread so I will continue to read the latest updates which has recently come into my mail (the inbox thankfully).

        Fondest regards,
        Fluffy

  115. I recently lost a family member as well as a very close and dear friend which has made me realize, at age 60, that I feel alone and isolated. I still am working full-time so I have that outlet, but nothing on a personal level. I have grown children but they have their own lives and children. Why do I feel so alone when I have so much to share?

    Reply to Barb

    1. Hi Barb,

      My condolences on the recent loss of your family member and friend.

      I think when people we’ve known or family we love passes away, it brings ‘loneliness’ to a head perhaps. Both of my parents died in the last 10 years and while the relationship wasn’t always smooth sailing with them, there was love and the loss of them even still, has given me the sense of being “untethered” if you will.

      My child is also grown and has his own life. Sometimes I feel the only relationship there is when he’s having a crisis but I take what I can get and love him very much.

      It’s good you are still working – I think this is the one thing that probably makes a good deal of difference for most people; staying busy, having those little interactions with co-workers or customers.

      I myself haven’t really worked in several years outside of caregiving – because I do prefer quieter work environments.

      In answer to your last question, it’s a hard one. Over the years I’ve extended myself in various forms and situations and come away feeling more anxious over the way things went or disappointed when interest wasn’t returned. Now, I’ve tended to become lethargic when it comes to pushing myself anymore.

      I do OK being ‘lonely’…and cover up that it bothers me, I suppose so I can deal with what is. Again, I know I have much to be grateful for…

      I think when it comes to some things in this world there aren’t any clear answers. Some people are lonely because they are bitter and have become estranged from the people closest to them. The reasons may vary. Others just find they aren’t social robots, it’s not as automatic for them as it is for social butterflies and I think in the world we live being social and having friends is equaled with being ‘successful’ and having what it takes.People are naturally more drawn to those types and the rest have to figure out a way to navigate and be part (not apart) from that social structure.

      Reply to Fluffy

  116. I’m probably a bit younger than other folks here and sure hope it’s OK to post. I’m 50 and have never had many friends. In fact really none to speak of except when I was much younger. I’ve tried from time to time to stretch myself and connect with other people by being open and friendly but it’s never amounted to much. On an up note, I’ve been married for 29 years happily, however, while he’s friendly and witty, he also doesn’t have friends outside of work. It’s just us two. At one time when our child was young we were very involved with his activities as well as community and church things and felt moreso ‘connected’ . Alas, we moved out of state away from our grown son and other relatives.

    What I’ve found is people really don’t seem interested in ‘connecting’ that much. People are busy, have their own families and other than superficial interactions, there’s not a lot of depth or opportunity for connection to take place. Except when we were in our early 30s, over the years we have attended different churches and find them wanting. Sorry if I sound negative about it – but it just seems like the whole “be open and reach out” message doesn’t necessarily offer a solution.

    I think because I’m at home alone so much and my husband travels a lot and for the last 10 years my feelings of isolation have grown. On the other hand, I never minded ‘being alone’ or doing things alone and could entertain myself but it gets very old and find myself not only bored but becoming more depressed with time. I’d really just like a few people to be able to get together with throughout the month and get out together to a movie, a walk, a talk, lunch etc.

    As for being online, I have a few people I pen pal and chat with and met years ago and am so grateful and treasure these people but again, I’d really like to have real time exchanges with someone. I use to feel very embarrassed to admit that I was lonely as if I was wearing a big “L” on my forehead especially when I’ve done everything alone for years and years, eating, shopping,- everything except for when my Husband is present.

    The other thing is I am a lonely person who just happens to be married. He use to not care that much whether we got together with people but recently was saying how it would be nice if we had people over for dinner or to things with so he’s now feeling it too. The problem is, neither of us really know how to go about getting to know anyone enough to invite them over.

    I’ve looked for ‘activities’ in our area and unfortunately there aren’t any nearby or within 50 mile radius. We are in that in between age; our next door neighbors are about the same age but have 2 boys about 14 and 12 while the people across the street from us are in their 70s and the grandchildren visit them alot. We feel like we really are in a ‘crack’…

    Well i’ve rabbited on here. I need to metnion something else. I’ve struggled with social anxiety but do manage to appear friendly to people when interacting. Also, I’ve noticed with some close family members who have now passed away, a pattern of loneliness in my family. My parents, divorced, never had a lot of friends and were pretty isolated. Same was true for my Aunt and Uncle. There were family gatherings especially when we were all much younger but then over time, people got married, had kids, moved etcetc.

    Ideas, comments, suggestions?
    Thank you.

    Reply to Fluffy

    1. OH, PS…I forgot to mention that I have volunteered for many years. Mainly online for a mental health support community but also in real time for a local charity. In that it gets me out of the house, it’s great but there’s still no connections going on between myself and the people I come into contact with. I’m friendly and open and have varied interests so I’m not clear why it’s been so darn hard to find a friend to grab lunch or coffee with.

      Reply to Fluffy

    2. Fluffy,
      I can certainly relate to your situation. I find it hard to make those friendships as well. I know there must be others who feel similarly–the challenge is finding them. And, I don’t know what to say, other than the reach out, and get out and about.
      I do appreciate your willingness to share this-we tend to think that married people fare better than singles in this, but clearly that’s not the case.

      Reply to Walker Thornton

      1. Thank you so much for your reply Walker I don’t know if you are married or single but it helps knowing somebody else understands. It’s wierd because at my age, I feel like I’m in a crevice, a gap although to be truthful – for me the isolation began many years ago. I was handling a wayward teenager and a mother with Alzheimers all at the same time. I know plenty of people have been there and back and once the stress is gone seem to be able to get back into life so to speak. Clearly, socially speaking I’ve had a failure to launch.

        Perhaps there are people just like myself out in the world – but when I look around I see a narrative I’m not a part of. With all the studies and research which talks about loneliness and isoation (particularly in seniors) being a factor for poor health and early death I am all too aware of my own situation. How I try to combat these feelings is to offer my support and ‘friendship’ to others in need and hope by doing so I somehow can help someone elses day alittle brighter.

      2. Fluffy,
        I’m single. And, after 10 years of caregiving and more now with an aging mother I get it. I think there’s something in that ‘work’ that sets us apart in a way. It’s hard to find a place, a circle.
        I admire your spirit and your sense of kindness. Best to you,
        Walker

  117. I have been told that I am a very pretty, youthful looking 70 year old female….I would really like to have a relationship with a man at this point as I don’t have a supportive family and live alone…New York City is not conducive to meeting at my age…I have tried Internet sites to no avail…The people that want to meet me live in another state and the ones that are closer are so lazy they just want to meet someone that lives around the corner from them and make no effort at all….Where does one meet an eligible “normal” man in this City?….

    Reply to PinkRose

    1. I don’t live in NYC so can’t help you there. Maybe some of the other readers have an idea?
      When I’m looking I try going out more–out to coffee, attending art events, going to dinner alone..putting myself out there where I might run into a nice man…and admittedly it’s a challenge.

      Reply to Walker Thornton

    2. I have commented above on the MeetUp groups – http://www.MeetUp.com

      There are hundreds of these groups meeting in NYC. You might try the programs and events sponsored by Senior Planet. There are also many meetings and socially helpful events sponsored by the NYC Time Banks program. There are also political clubs and church groups – or if not spiritual – there’s the Ethical Culture Society.

      Reply to Robert Widmann

    3. Hi PinkRose, I know you’re looking for a man and I’m looking for just friends, but I think you are the only person who lives in NYC (I do too) and thought perhaps you’d like to meet for coffee somewhere in Manhattan and chat? You must be around 74 by now and I’m in my 80s but very active and healthy. I also notice that your post was dated 2014!!!! But I hope you somehow will see my post here and will contact me please? pisardela@gmail.com

      Reply to Adela

  118. I have been living alone for the past year and a half when my husband of 52 years passed on. Since then, I’ve had a bilateral mastectomy (almost three months ago). My biggest worry about living alone is being ill and having to travel some distance to doctors’ appointments and so on. It has been a struggle! I live in a small community in which my husband was born and lived his whole life; on the other hand, I was born in another province and although I’ve lived in this community for 52 years, I worked in the next little town and did not create strong relationships outside of my family. I find it difficult, at this stage, to create friendships. So far, since my husband’s death, I’ve gotten close to three women, but two of them died and the other moved away! At the moment, I live in a seniors’ community home with people who have known each other all their lives… with a couple of exceptions. I don’t feel I fit in, we have different experiences and interests, and I find it very difficult to connect. I feel much more comfortable with men, having been raised with my brother, two years older than me, who was my best friend throughout our growing up years. All my family, brothers, sisters, children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, live far away, with the exception of one daughter and son-in-law who have a difficult relationship with each other. Reading your article was helpful as it confirms my resolution: “stop being afraid and charge ahead!” At this point, I just don’t know in which direction to charge!!! One day at a time… I’ll move along, I know; I just get anxious about the how and when.

    Reply to Ghisele

    1. Ghisele,
      I’m glad the article provided some help for you–it does sound as if you are working at it. Change and loss are difficult, aren’t they. I wish I had some concrete piece of advise to offer you, but as you say it is a one day at a time process. Best wishes for you.
      Walker

      Reply to Walker Thornton

    2. I certainly know how you must feel, and i really hope the best of you. I myself, just went through a divorce. I really had my hands full with my second marriage, and she is bipolar when her daughter is autistic. So i certainly had it very tough as you can see, and my first wife cheated on me which i was a very caring and loving husband that was very much committed to her as well. I just turned 59, but i will be moving soon into a adult community which i hope that my luck will change on meeting someone nice for me this time around. I wish all the luck for you as well, and be strong and God bless.

      Reply to Mark

  120. There numerous MeetUps (www.meetup.com) in all areas of the USA where you can get out and meet people of similar interests and make friends if you care to. In larger cities there are specialized senior groups. Many of these meeting groups are free and most cost only a few $. These do not solve all problems, but they are a help.

    Reply to Robert Widmann

  121. I have been divorced for 32 years and have had no real social circle since I turned 55, am now 65. I have been so lonely and with no support system, no family to speak of, it has been difficult. I work full time still. This year I met the most wonderful man of my life. Love did show up. I was scared but I am finally beginning to open. I really don’t know how to do the social thing. Never had many friends. Can you give me some ideas.

    Reply to Yvonne

    1. Yvonne,
      When you say you’ve never done the social thing, do you mean in real life or on the internet?
      I have found finding friends, post-divorce, to be challenging. Joining groups, possibly attending religious services, taking classes (I’m thinking about taking a watercolor class) and being open to opportunities around you are good starts.

      Reply to Walker Thornton

      1. I seem to be stuck. Just work mostly. I want to be more social. Being a live in caregiver for dementia clients has limited my participation. I want to change that now. I have a lovely man who lives 300 miles away. And so we see each other monthly. But I want a life for myself now. I am in the San Jose CA area.

      2. Yvonne,
        When you’ve been stuck at home doing caregiving it is really hard to find ways to get out (been there myself). As someone else suggested is there a MeetUp group there? They have a wide range of activities and may have an over 60+ group. Senior centers? Volunteering at the library…

      3. Thank you for your response. I will check into volunteering. I have to get out, I feel like I am being stifled. I have to build a life for myself beyond work.
        It is difficult because I have never just taken care of me. I am ready for new life. Any more suggestions ? If so please send them to me.
        Yvonne

  122. I’ve found that social networking resolves loneliness. Cheating with new and old friends and playing games online help a lot. You don’t feel alone,you have a friend in your connections and online activities.

    Reply to Rhonda

      1. Hi, I’ve been married 3xs . I had a rocky start from my marriage to my first husband. By my divorce with my 3rd I knew I was done.i live alone. I like solo sex. Truthfully I’ve been hurt physically, mentally, and emotionally so many times I’m scared of a relationship again . Yes I get lonely at times. I take care of my own sexual desires. I admit there are times where I wish I had someone to grow old with but I’m scared . I’m a good person. I have male friends. That’s as far as it’s ever went. I haven’t been with a man sexually in approx 30 yrs. I do have by-polar disorders which I hate but it’s under control for the most part. I don’t work. I’m considered disabled because of my by-polar. I’m on ssi. So I don’t have alot of money. I am an old school girl. I’d love to be loved and pampered. I just have had such strong pain in my life I’m afraid to meet someone. I wouldn’t even know what to say to a man. Sounds silly don’t it. I love to masturbate. It feels good . I usually have no problem reaching an orgasm. I’ve only had 1 orgasm with a man. Because of my childhood and being hurt so many times I grew up disliking sex. I always said I gotta go do my wifely duty. I hated it when that time came. I never got anything from it. I don’t know what life would be like to have good sex with a man and have a good friendship along with sex. I sometimes wish I could. So in the meantime I masturbate alone. I’m being real. I like men . I’ve just Never met and don’t know what a relationship is. I’m from Michigan. Would love to make just friendships. I like people and people seem to like me.

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