COMMENTS

25 responses to “Desperately Seeking Orgasm: Help for an Older Man”

1. I am 74 and use Viagra. I have no problem with erection but cannot orgasm; why or what can help

   Reply to George Allan

   1. Joan Price doesn’t respond to questions in the comments but check out the resources in the column or contact Joan Price directly via the contact information at the end of the article.

      Reply to Senior Planet

2. I agree. Lot of issues going on here. Take a walk in fantasy land. I’m 74 my wife is a few years younger. We’ve been married nearly 30 years. Something I haven’t heard mentioned is refractory period. After some period of abstinence I get so horny. I do not get spontaneous erections anymore but Viagra does the trick. My wife understands that we both need each other’s affection and tease each other’s erotic side. Have fun relax! Sometimes things may not “pop” . Sex is not a marathon.

   Reply to George

3. I’m 81 years old. My wife is in a bed 24/7 , she has Parkinson’s and M G . She’s a sick girl , because of the virus .we can only talk on the phone. I’m very lonely now. I have with myself ,I masturbat once or twice a day by looking at x-rated movies. The problem is I can’ t e-jack-u- late any more. My wife has been in bed for four years now. can you give me some advise , Help me please,I looked at picture of you , you l
   look like you’ll very kind. Thank You .

   Reply to thomas p engle

   1. Hard on the ladies to. I’m so lonely since the covid depression got

      Reply to Shannon Gray

   2. yes im 60 male that also had brain injury and right a k a since my accident having now sex life help please thanks

      Reply to wesley key

4. I have an issue that I can not seem to figure out. I can gain an erection, have meaningful sex…..ONCE. boom, done.
   Several years ago I could average 3 per night. Viagara did not help and left me feeling as if I had been drinking all night. Cialis doesnt maintain my erection after orgasm and does not aid in regaining it.
   Just flat done. Very frustrating to me and to the women I entertain. They want more, I want more, neither of us gets what we want.

   Reply to Bob

   1. Me too. Would like a discussion on this.

      Reply to Philip

5. I’m 86. My wife loves to give me oral sex. About 5 years ago, I noticed I had to masturbate while she was doing me to helpme achieve orgasm.. It has been getting worse and worse. The last two times were bad. First, after 1/2 hour of give me oral, I masturbated for an hour to no avail. Than a couple of nights ago, I made it but it took an hour and 1/2’….. one half of her oral and an hour of me masturbating. I’m getting sick of not having an orgasm and considering quitting sex altogether but it would make her feel bad because she needs to do me and thinks its her fault. I keep telling her that there just has to be a time when a man can no longer “make it.” She doesn’t believe that. I do. I just can’t believe a 100 yr old man could have an orgasm. One problem is she says to just enjoy the “journey” for 1/2 hour from her. Problem is, I just have to have an orgasm after all that…..I can’t quit after her oral. Never happened in my life before, seemed to slowly start about 5 years ago. HELP?

   Reply to Archie

6. I too have issue with having an orgasm when making love to my wife or just having plain old hard sex with her. We are both 72 years old and very sexual . Yes I have been taking viagra for several years and very happy. However for several months now I have problems having an orgasm. Here is what we have done that has helped. We role play. My wife will dress very sexy and I will walk in wearing military fatigues as I did when 21 years old plus we call each other our old nick names and talk dirty, we start by alternating giving each other oral, finally me alternating giving her oral and penetrating her back and forth. She ends up with 2 sometimes three orgasms which then triggers me . It doesn’t work every time but does work often. I have also used a vibrating butt plug on myself while performing the same. The only difference there was that it made me release much more semen. I know it’s not for everybody but it has helped us. Good Luck, Enjoy even if you don’t get it off !

   Reply to Billy

7. It sure would be nice to frisky like some of these folks but in my life it never happened. Married 50 years and I can’t find anything exciting about it. I never had sex before marriage nor really the first 3 years of marriage because those years were spent in military Vietnam and didn’t have sex there spent most nights in a hole underground with all kinds of nasty critters. Day time for long hours fighting bad guys we couldn’t see. We just tore up the landscape! When I got home and doing real people things, that wasn’t rosy at all, the wife was boring when it came to sex and had no adventure. After about 8 years of this I just gave up and didn’t bother with sex. Also I was working midnights and she worked a goofy shift and we saw each coming or going. I worked weekends and she didn’t. So at about 30 years old I couldn’t get it up if I tried it’s been a little over 40 years since we had sex last. Wife had a hysterectomy and she told she had no interest in intimacy, and for me that was fine. We stayed married but at a distance, she has our original home and I have a small place elsewhere in town. We don’t talk to each other or interact with each other. We do our own thing , I’m always busy as for her I don’t know probably knits all day and waits for the mail person?

   Reply to Andy

   1. I’m not sure you can help me? I’m 66 years old and had Radiotherapy for prostate cancer 5 years ago. Cialis works great for ED. However I have very poor organism quality the past year. My testosterone level is normal (450 total) and I am healthy. Any Ideas?

      Reply to Jim

   2. As a woman who both served in the Army and was married to a Marine, I can understand the time apart. I know I am a out to say the one thing no man wants to hear, bit you need to talk to her! After so many years together you know she isn’t leaving you. What would it hurt if you said, “Baby, I want to make live to you. I’m horny and you still turn me on. Why not spend the later part of our lives makes up for the earlier parts we missed.” The worst thing that happens is you continue not talking. The best is you find each other again in a new amazing way!. If a few glasses, shot, beers or some herb help first than fine. But don’t die but letting her know that you still want her and being satisfied yourself!

      Reply to Heather Taylor

8. Mark Alloy
   10/28/2016
   Just food for thought.Rather than using the daily Viagra,try using the other that you take a couple hours before you intend to play.I only take a half a tablet which works great.
   Second,once this orgasm failure occured,it then could have become a mental block and could probably be snowballing.Just the thought of having an intiment evening with your bride could start throwing up a mental wall,
   A couple glasses of wine with your bride might relax your mind .
   I wish you luck,
   Mark

   Reply to Mark Alloy

9. When elusive delayed orgasms became a problem for my wife and I we made things much better with a multi factored approach.
   First, I started doing kegel exercised. They are simple and discrete. I made a rule that each time I checked the time, I had to do 5 of them.
   Second, I tried to remember to breathe and relax during the act.
   Finally, and this may not be for everybody, my wife started looking at alternate ways to give me pleasure. She started rimming my back door, eventually progressing to prostate massage. That worked like a charm!
   Stay open minded, and know that there ARE other things we can experience which are capable of helping us to ‘finish’.

   Reply to David Engle

   1. I’m 81 years old. My wife is in a bed 24/7 , she has Parkinson’s and M G . She’s a sick girl , because of the virus .we can only talk on the phone. I’m very lonely now. I have with myself ,I masturbat once or twice a day by looking at x-rated movies. The problem is I can’ t e-jack-u- late any more. My wife has been in bed for four years now. can you give me some advise , Help me please,I looked at picture of you , you l
      look like you’ll very kind. Thank You .

      Reply to thomas p engle

10. Similar problem without theverection!!! I am frustrated at this point… No intercourse for three months… A couple of years since my last orgasim with my wife… Broken penis…

    Reply to Tim

    1. I am 76 and cannot get an erection. Is there any hope for me? Tried to massage myself but that did not work.

       Reply to Mr. Eddie

       1. Ask your doctor to subceribe tadefel for erections and testatorone gel for sperm count helped my husband tremendously we now have sex once a week which is all he can handle, once a week is better than nothing

11. My friends mentioned twice he has gone home and cry because he has not reached an orgasms peek of any erection. He is 11 years older. Is he depressed . He is a high functional alcoholic.

    Reply to Belen CORTEZ

    1. Hi Belen,

       Tell your friend that alcohol may make the issue worse.
       I have recently started to have delayed or no orgasm and
       my dear wife helps a lot. But we have noticed that if we have sex after consuming alcohol, I never reach an orgasm.
       No scientific facts, just an observation that might help.

       Reply to Rich

12. The problem could very well be the Viagra. Viagra tends to se-sensitize a man, making it more difficult to orgasm, with often a less enjoyable one too. A side note — it’s written that prostituescaren’t happy with this — what was once a 5 minute exercise, now men are taking a 1/2 hour or more to get off. tye other problem with Viagra is that it causes a dependency — after you are on it for a period, you wind up becoming more impotent, and need it to gain an erection. This dependency itends to be both physical and psychological. If you don’t have a pill nearby, you’ll stress over whether you can perform.

    Reply to Phillip

13. maybe the gentleman should accept that sex can be enjoyable without orgasm, just like many (most) women whose partners don’t know how to satisfy a woman or simply don’t care

    Reply to Maxxie

    1. Absolutely. I am totally thrilled to bring my spouse to climax. Occasionally everything works for this 74yr old male. Sometimes not, Sometimes I achieve full penetration if not oral stimulation and knowing her pace will bring her to the point when we were much younger. It’s about caring and giving. Ha I’m no expert!

       Reply to George

14. Oh my God! Are you serious?! It’s time for a change, don’t you think? It is new, yes, – “new” – sexual interests which are usually needed by older men. Get your woman to be submissive – and I don’t refer to trivia as desrcibed in that dull book Fift Shades of Grey – but seriously t let your owmna explore her submissive (Or, if you prefer, her “dominant” side. Get something NEW going, get one of you begging, crying for it. THen you may find a new interest in sex arising twce as often as when you were young. Not enough talk here – and yes, I know people are scared of it and may not want to publish this – but start exploring what you really secretly, even if a little shamefully, long for. Bite, whip, wake up. My sex life has never been better I know that, with every year that passes.

    Reply to John Windsor-Cunningham