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Top 5 Dating Sites for Seniors

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What’s the fastest growing group of online daters? If you’re thinking men in their 30s, think again. Bowling Green State University professors of gerontology, Dr. Wendy K. Watson and Dr. Charlie Stelle, have been researching the landscape and found that people over 60 represent the most rapidly growing demographic in online dating.

The study authors also delved into the question of which features make a dating site a good fit for seniors. Of course, there’s no one-size-fits-all, but their number one criteron make sense to us: an emphasis in profile questions on mutual interests and honest self-representation over looks and sexual prowess. You can read an article about the ongoing study by clicking here.

With Watson and Stelle’s study in mind, we’ve tested several popular dating sites, looking also for easy online experiences, and come up with five – both free and fee-based, senior-specific and all-ages – that we deem senior-friendly. Take a look and see which is a good fit for you.  

Match.com

  • Why it’s senior friendly Match.com profiles provide plenty of opportunity for you to explore your potential mate’s education, faith, politics and other choices that you might find important. And this dating site can’t be beat on sheer volume: It boasts a membership of over 17 million, 2.5 million of whom are seniors. The odds are with you.
  • What makes it easy The site lets you breeze through the profile creation process by checking off the basics first. You can save the paragraph sections for later, if and when you feel like further expounding on your life story and getting into the nitty gritty of the type of partner you’re looking for. The site also offers online guidance.
  • Downside: Browsing is allowed for free, but you can’t make any actual connections without joining a paid plan.
  • Price per month for 6 months $19.99 including Match.com Mobile, Matchtalk for narrowing your search by using keywords, and Stir events – offline groups that gather locally for happy hours, cooking classes, etc. What a great way to mix it up with other singles. If you can’t find a Stir event that’s right for you, you can organize one of your own.

Click here to visit Match.com

eHarmony

  • Why it’s senior friendly: eHarmony is dedicated to helping seniors find long-term relationships. With over 20 million registered users, the key difference between eHarmony and traditional senior dating sites is the intricate Compatibility Matching System, which narrows the field from thousands of senior singles and claims to find the most compatible matches based on your profile.
  • What makes it easy: Answering 258 multiple-choice questions based on psychology tests may not sound easy, but once it’s done eHarmony does the rest. Members aren’t allowed to search. You simply sit back and wait for the experts to send you matches by email.
  • Downside eHarmony totally controls your dating choices. It’s not for everybody. Plus, because the site has a Christian ideology, it does not entertain same-sex matches; those are relegated to a new separate service run by eHarmony, called Compatible Partners. The site also will not admit members who are legally separated but not divorced.
  • Price per month for 6 months: $23.95 pays for eHarmony experts to decipher your perfect match based on your answers and their methodology. Mobile access and Facebook connection are available, but don’t offer on-the-ground events.

Click here to visit eHarmony’s Senior Search

 

AARP Dating Powered by How About We…

  • Why it’s senior friendly Howaboutwe.com has recently partnered with AARP for a version targeted specifically to the 50-plus population – which is no surprise to us, since we had HowAboutWe pegged as the most senior-friendly online dating method. How About We and its AARP version are built around proposed dates: You can propose a date or scan dates that potential partners have proposed. These range from the generic (coffee somewhere quiet where we can chat) to the specific (a bike ride to the Met to see the Matisse show, or I’ve got Knicks tickets for Friday night. Want to join me?). Either way, it’s simple to “read” someone by the type of activity they want to share and find a good fit that way.
  • What makes it easy The site has a fun, laid-back feel that’s easy to maneuver. You can post a date for free without the muss and fuss of completing a daunting profile, and if you use the “Play” function while you’re browsing, you have a quick and easy way to sort the ‘This one looks nice’ from the ‘No way in Hellers.’ You’ll get a daily email from site with potential dates based on your preferences (age, political and religious leanings, etc). Social networking connections are also available. If you like the idea of a live meeting without spending hours online, AARP Dating is a great option.
  • Downside AARP Dating promotes face-to-face meetings, so it’s not a good choice for those who’d rather learn more about the person before going on a date.
  • Price per month for 6 months An affordable $12; AARP members get a 7-day free trial and 50 percent off membership.

Click here to visit AARP Dating

OurTime 

  • Why it’s senior friendly 1.4 million hip, mature seniors visit Ourtime each month. It’s one of the most popular dating sites catering to the over 50 set. The personality section is a great feature if you’re looking for more than a one-night stand. And the profile questions range from ‘Do you like to cook?’ to ‘Are you a punctual person?’ – traits that most younger users don’t really consider important, but many seniors do.
  • What makes it easy The profile is a straightforward mix of multiple-choice questions and paragraphs, without much glitz or glamour.
  • Downside Online dating veterans may miss the extra features that other sites offer.
  • Price per month for 6 months Browsing is allowed before joining the plan for a modest $12.99 per month for 6 months, but you’ll need to answer some basic questions before delving into a full-fledged search. Online chat is available, but no Facebook or mobile connections, yet.

 Click here to visit OurTime

OkCupid

  • Why it’s senior friendly With over 3.5 million active users, OkCupid offers a plethora of unique visitors, seniors included. Some of the questions are geared toward the younger set, but seniors get around it by answering the mature questions about what you do on Friday night, the types of books and movies you like, and (a biggie for those who are set in their ways), ‘What six things could I never do without.’
  • What makes it easy The profile is primarily Q&A based. Many of the questions are a bit bizarre, but easy to skip over. Don’t let the profile creation process discourage you from taking advantage of the gratis membership account.
  • Downside: It’s fun and easy, but you get what you pay for. Enough said.
  • Price per month for 6 months: FREE – unless you find ads distracting. If you’d prefer fewer flashing banner ads, and more access to information on who visited your profile, go ahead and upgrade to A-List status for a monthly fee of $14.95. Connecting with Facebook and Twitter is a free option.

Click here to visit OKCupid

Note Be aware when signing up for auto-payment on any online dating site: Complaints have been filed that certain sites continue to charge monthly fees after a member cancels. Keep an eye on your bank statement.

See our updated Best Senior Dating Sites (2014)

Thinking of trying online dating? Check out more Senior Planet articles:

How to set up your online dating profile in 4 easy steps
11 ways to quit lurking and write your online dating profile

Do you have a favorite dating site? By sharing it in the comments section below you’ll help out some other seniors.

Features   Living/Aging   Relationships      

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165 Comments

  1. Kathy says:

    Match.com is a huge rip off. The take your 3 month membership fee, and unless you are very clear that you don’t want to re-enroll (a piece of the game they don’t tell you about) they put you on auto enroll, so your card is charged for a renewal when your 3 months are through. Then if you want to “make sure he/she reads your email” you have to buy another add on for that purpose. There are extra charges for everything.
    The other really bad side is anyone from anywhere in the country can follow you, even if you want someone within 50 miles. To qquote their people, ” we can’t stop people from contacting you”. Total rip…

  2. dakenn04 says:

    As a former waitress of two decades and a restaurant owner I would never not pay a bill simply because the date did not have any money with them. I think my mistake which I changed a year ago was that I put my income range on the sites. I haven’t done that in over a year because I see what it attracts.

    As a side note- my OT subscription is up in 10 days- THIS MORNING I HAD 154 NEW messages (in a 24 hour period) !!!! I think they are trying really hard to get me to renew. Or does anyone still think the vast majority of people on the site are real? I did take a screen shot of it but it seems there is no way to upload a document to the comment thread.

    • dakenn04 says:

      Oh and get this- this morning when I went online one of my matches was a woman! You kow in that instant match thing. One of the 154 messages was also from a woman. So what OT thinks since I don’t want to renew I must no longer be interested in men?

      I was stunned. I am still very interested in finding a MALE life partner. I have no idea why after two years on the site they suddenly think I swing both ways!

      • waitedlongenough says:

        dakenn04: That’s too funny! : )

      • Kathy says:

        happened to me too, but on Match. Very odd.. Let’s stick to our wits.

    • avlavl says:

      That’s a rip off to get you to renew. Think about it. All of a sudden as you are nearing your subscription, you get this abundance of email out of the clear blue sky. In my opinion, these are not real emails from real men. I would bet on it. It happened to me long ago just the way it is happening to you. I renewed like a fool and guess what, I responded to some of the men and they never sent a response back. Go figure. And on top of that, a week later I wasn’t receiving any emails from men. What does that tell you. One minute a big huge blast of emails and the next none? So I say please do not waste your $$$$.

  3. waitedlongenough says:

    avlavl: Not first date, second date, third date, forth date. No Date.. Not even Marriage.
    Wow!

    • avlavl says:

      I am presently on NO dating sites at the moment. Hoping someone walks in the grocery store when I am there next. (smile)

  4. waitedlongenough says:

    I have since taken down my profile from ourtime. It was just to disappointing to see such response and could not reach out to say I am a real person not a fake. I will continue to star on this site, just for my opinion and to have that contact as a pen pal to someone. Never know maybe one can find love through pen pals..
    ddimery1@gmail.com

  5. operasinger says:

    A week ago, I decided to give JDate a try (I’d like to meet someone of my own faith). Sadly, there are very few guys my age are on JDate, which is extremely disappointing, especially because I decided to pay for 3 mo subscription. One guy actually said in the 1st line of his profile that he’s involved with someone but he’s leaving his profile visible until they “share a domicile.” What a scum bag! I’ve sent 2 guys my age a short message but NO response. However, today, I received a msg from a guy 45 years old. ACK!!! I’m NOT a cougar and have utterly no interest in guys that young. Sadly, most of the guys who have been contacting me for the past 5 years are these young idiots apparently looking for someone who can support them or they are scammers. Soooooo frustrating for us older women!

    • dakenn04 says:

      OperaSinger your experience does not surprise me. As I said, on OURTIME, my subscription now expires in 14 days so I have bee experiencing a flurry of “saved you as a favorite” “Wink” and the canned messages “I would like to get to know you” not an actual written message.

      Most of these messages are from men out of state. I do not have the fantasy of being whisked away to a new life in a new state so that does not appeal to me.

      There was a profile that I loved that “Saved me as a favorite”. I contacted him- the message was never opened (Its a feature on the site for a person to check). I waited a week messaged again. At week three I posted a message to him with the subject line “Are you a real person?”

      I checked last night just to see if maybe, maybe this was an actual person who may have opened any of my emails since “he” initiated the contact. What do you know?? Surprise, Surprise, Surprise- Ourtime had removed the profile!

      I think the key here is that we ALL NEED TO MANAGE OUR EXPECTATIONS WHEN USING ONLINE DATING SITES.

      1) Be aware that about 70% of the profiles are corporate created and not real people. These attractive people you actually like will never respond back because they aren’t real. It isn’t you! There is nothing wrong with you!

      2. Understand that most men our age are not physically fit (although they may be thin) and probably are not aging like Rock Hudson or Michael Douglas.

      3. Understand that these companies are out to make money. You will pay for any services.

      4. Know that of the 30% of the profiles that DO have a real person behind them 80% of those are scammers looking to make a quick buck off of someone’s loneliness. Be alert for the signs, generic name, educated in some other country, NO FAMILY HERE IN USA, reluctant to tell you where they work (because its easy to find someone this way). The other thing is that they fall Instantly in love with you from looking at your picture and reading your profile. Know the signs and don’t be a victim.

      So using the math that means out of every 100 profiles only 6 are actual people looking for a relationship. Of those 6 at least one will be married and 1 in a relationship with someone else (both lack ethics and integrity). So now you are down to 4 out of 100 that are actually looking. The odds of one of them living in your town with similar interests to you and a mutual attraction are slim to none.

      One is far better off to use one of the thousands of free single meet up groups consisting of real people who live in your town and are actually single (because you are out in public with them- those who are cheating on their partner will not be willing to be seen out with someone else).

      The group I joined is single over 50 in my hometown and it has like 300 and some members but not all are active all the time. The group I have been attending trivia with has several much older men who are retired and not hideous looking or socially strange.

      This free service gets you out meeting real people and greatly increases the odds of meeting someone.

      That being said I actually have met an incredibly intelligent man on our time of whom I have become a close friend- not a romantic partner. You can meet someone through these channels but when you realize the odds are only 4% that means the other 96% of your subscription fee you are just throwing away.

      • avlavl says:

        It was very nice reading your post. I agree. If you go to the free sites you’re much better off with dealing with homies. I recently joined a site called EliteSingles. BEWARE! not good. Do not pay to join. I always look around before paying for a subscription. However, this 72-year-old man contacted me because he loved, loved my pic. OK. Then he started sending these emails with darling, dear etc. I knew then that this was not the real person from the pic he has on his posting. Then we chatted on the phone. He sent me a link to where he works for one of the third world countries. Still, it was not the real person. To make a long story short, I wanted to meet, but he didn’t want to do a long meeting. Seems he just wanted to see what I looked like in person, or who knows do some harm. He went as far as to send me a copy of a letter he recived from EliteSingles saying they warned him that I was not real that I was a fake. Go figure. I sent this dating site an email asking them about this and I never received a response. He gradually stopped emailing me because he knew I was on to him. Now I am back to square one. It’s a lotta work trying to find a companion.

      • operasinger says:

        Just curious, but where do you get those statistics?

        • waitedlongenough says:

          avlavl : I say just have fun. amuse them. Relax. Someone will come your way when you least expect. Even on these sites.. at least that what I keep telling myself. : ) God has the perfect man for all women. even on these sites.. You have to remember they too do not want to be taken for granted.. Meet at the coffee shops. In the DAY. if they are not the picture then you know they are either married, in a relationship, or God I hate to THINK…. have fun just emailing back and forth, NO PHONES CALLS Relax…………….. : )

      • Vonnie says:

        Great information, Dakenn04. Can you tell me where you got these statistics?
        Vonnie

        • dakenn04 says:

          Personal experience over two years. I am a bit of an analytics geek so I tracked my responses from OT and Match. I have found that about 4 out of every 100 contacts are actually people who live in my metro and are actually looking for a relationship.

          The vast majority of men who contacted me in actual message were scammers. Or at the lesser end of the spectrum looking for money. My very first physical date from Match asked me for 15K yes that thousand on the first date. My first relationship on Ourtime got $1100 and then became angry and hostile when I could not send him more.

          • avlavl says:

            WoW !!! $1,110 to a first date? I just cannot see how anyone would give money to a first date. WHY? Please let this be a lesson learned to all seniors. But there are non-seniors who give out money too. When he became angry and hostile I would have asked for my money back and kicked his you know what. I have a virtual friend for over four years. She got trapped in a situation with a man who used her for her money. He saw she was lonely and needed a friend. He moved in and from there on in, slowly he used her. She had to go bankrupt because he maxed out her charge cards. Don’t be desperate. PLEASE, EVERYONE, DO NOT GIVE MONEY TO A DATING PARTNER. RUN AND RUN FAST! My 2 cents…..

          • Vonnie says:

            Oh dear – don’t send any more money, Dakenn. No decent person should be asking for money for anything! This is great data. Thanks for sharing.
            Vonnie

          • dakenn04 says:

            To clarify- the first date asked me for $15000 to invest in his business. I did not give it to him. He said he assumed I got an insurance payment from my husband’s death. I did not. The man I sent $1100 to was working in the Philippines and needed money to get back to our hometown. We had never been on an actual date. We had emailed back and forth from ourtime and then our personal emails or about two months before he started begging me for money. He would then instant mail me constantly telling me what a horrible person I was because I would not send more. It was my first experience with a person on Ourtime. They say to never send money but he seemed so genuine. I was played for a fool. I am embarrassed. I was really vulnerable and lonely as my husband had died not too long before. Another man I had three dates with also asked me to help pay off his divorce settlement to his wife (her share of their business). Not only did I not have any money even if I did I would not. He said “I just assumed you would have a portfolio”. Nope! I have had several men ask me to dinner or lunch via ourtime and match where at the end of the meal they tell me they are short on funds or left their wallet at home. My experiences have been extremely negative. I have only had a few genuine gentleman actually ask me out.

          • waitedlongenough says:

            dakenn04; Please tell me you are kidding. what? you cannot be that desperate.. I am a woman who believes THE MAN TAKE CARE OF THE WOMAN.. No conversation, no meet up. no love is worth a woman to give to a man.. They are thugs” old Thugs” at that.. They come in MANY COLORS .Come on you are an intelligent woman not a desperate woman who feels she has to BUY affection.. I am shock!

  6. mary says:

    A few days ago.I was talking with a girlfriend online. We have been talking with guys for a long time. From the start we always thought something was wrong. But we could not prove it. She told me the guy she was talking with was not the guy she had picture of. And that he lived in Ghana. And was the same person I was talking to. I could not believe it. I don”t understand how someone can do this to someone. Brake their hearts. He also turned out to be 35 and she was 64. Myself I was 57 looking for someone. It turned out bad for myself and her.

  7. waitedlongenough says:

    What I am finding frustrating of these sites. you have to pay money just to say hello, or send a wink. or see who view you.. This is so not socializing. It would be great to have a writing communication with others without FEES. not only that there is one site that hold all others sites.. seniors meet, ourtime, chiistians mingle, what the heck? out ragious.

    • operasinger says:

      These sites need to make money because they are expensive to set up and run. So how would you propose that they do that if they don’t charge to let the user send messages, etc?

      • avlavl says:

        I do understand some of the dating site are setup to make money – however, they really do not need to charge such an astronomical amount of money. Especially to boomers and seniors. I’ve paid money to some of the sites, and was truly disappointed with the quality of men. Then there were scammers. It hurts when you’ve shelled out x amount of dollars to get this. If the amounts were smaller, then who cares. We would fish for more salmon, tuna or whatever. A lot of men go from one site to the next looking for what, I don’t know. I for one found this out by joining other sites not thinking I was going to bump into joe blow again. I said all of the above to say I feel the charges for boomers and seniors on GOOD dating sites should be FREE. And for others they should lower their rates.

      • Phyllis says:

        I don’t have a problem paying for a service if you really get what you are paying for. Sometimes I felt it was manipulated. When my time was running out and I had gone in stopped the automatic deduction I suddenly got a lot of winks, messages, or likes but that was the only time. On every dating site I was on I had men ask me for money so do they really not screen anyone.

        • waitedlongenough says:

          You are right.. That’s when I begin to have this over flow of of “someone favorite you” You have 27 winks, what the heck at least show me who winked” If I am interested I will pay a small fee to peek….; ) unbelievable!

        • dakenn04 says:

          Phyllis this was and is exactly my experience. Each time my subscription was about to renew and I had cancelled auto-renew the flurry of winks. flirts and saved was nothing short of amazing! As soon as they got their money the mailbox became empty and desolate again. I have responded to all of them just to test if they are real- no response back.

  8. dakenn04 says:

    I have been on Ourtime for two years and have had only 1 response from a man I contacted. At 54 I am still fit and attractive. Recently, two men who contacted me insisted that I send naked pictures of myself before they would consider a date! Of course I declined! Seriously, that is my value?? And honestly these men were no prizes in the looks department! My experience on match has been the same – I have been on match twice in the last two years and have never received a SINGLE response. I believe that the vast majority of the profiles are corporate created. Honestly I would not waste the money. What I just found out about, and is completely free, and actually involves REAL live people is senior meetups. I went to the first one last Sunday and ladies there were 4 women and 8 men and had a wonderful time. Did I snag a date? No but I actually got to convene with the opposite sex and had a really nice time talking to real live men in person. I actually found one of them to be quite attractive. The bonus they all live in my town!

  9. Steveh27 says:

    I’ve read the article and many of the comments. I find it hard to believe so many women have it so hard on these sites and believe most single senior men are cads.

    I’m a never married 64 yo and have tried match 2 or 3 times. I have a MBA, am financially sound, am polite and chivalrous. I’m 5’9″, try to work out 3 times a week, and in decent shape weighing 175. I think I’m decent looking. Most of the inquiries I sent on match were never responded to, over 90%. I know many of the profiles visible on match are not paid members and they cannot reply. I bet 1/3 of the women on there are not members, but match keeps them on to deceive people. The last 6 month trial I met only 2 women, and dated one for a few months. I never tried to push for sex, but she said she felt like I wanted to have sex after 6 dates and she would not have sex again until married again and broke it off. I haven’t tried again due to the fake profiles and very little response to my inquiries.

    • dakenn04 says:

      Steven- please believe it! If you go to my blog at associationyoda (I know we cannot give out web addresses on here but you can figure it out) there is a picture of me that is very recent. I believe I am a very attractive woman with a very nice physique. I have been on the dating sites for two years and have had only 1 man actually respond to my email. Now I have had a gazillion men contact me. The vast majority are looking for a hookup- coming in a very close second are men who have asked me for money some on the very first date! It seems that nice, educated, financially stable men my age are much more interested in a young trophy wife than a woman of their ex-wife’s age. Most of the men who contact me on the site are typically very physically unappealing and I hate to tell ya I am not that picky. I read someone else’s comment about obesity and poor dental hygiene as well as unemployment. This pretty much sums up 95% of the communication I receive. I fell for this twice so I am warning everyone out there. Just as your subscription (ourtime) is running out you suddenly become immensely appealing to all these good looking men who fit your age and lifestyle criteria. You will receive tons of flirts and want to get to know you. But when you respond they never communicate again. It is a corporate created phony profile trying to get you to resubscribe in the hopes you got their response. I worked for a company as a freelance who would not reveal their client. I got paid 5cents a message and was given a character (usually male if that tells you there are many more women on the site than men) to respond to a “dating partner”. They did give a brief what to do if the receiving partner seemed suicidal. The receiving partner was a real person- I was not- was a character named Josh or Bill. I quickly realized from the conversation I was working for either Match or Ourtime or one of the online dating sites. This is all a scam designed to bilk lonely people selling hope of finding a lifetime partner. The rest are the absolute social outcasts that are looking for a quick lay or someone to save them financially.

      • operasinger says:

        dakenn04, What you explained about being paid for phony messages is EXTREMELY important. If you did not know what company you were actually writing those for, my guess is that it was a scam org rather than Match or Ourtime. In any event, this is serious stuff. Have you reported this to any kind of agency, such as the FCC? If not, I think you should.

        • dakenn04 says:

          I think Ourtime and Match don’t want you to know that the vast majority of their profiles are fake. I get the same 5 “matches” over and over. If you look at the chat bar- those 20 or so men- those are people who at least are active on the site. You need to be careful with that too. Really bad spelling, really bad grammar, instantly in love with you, “I saw your picture and it captured my heart” and although they say they live in my city when I ask them where something is like a HWY or a restaurant they immediately leave the chat because they don’t know. They are also on facebook with names like Jim James, Bob Thomspon, Steven Smith- they think you will think they are real if they have a FB page- but look closely- their profile and ONLY PHOTO on the site is their OT or match profile. They never post anything nor do they give any information and they usually have less than 10 friends (the women they are scamming). These friends are all female, all your age and have no relation to each other at all and are from all over the country. No family member is his friend and no work colleagues just these poor desperate women. If you see one of those and I have seen plenty- RUN! They are after one thing- money! And not just a little! I have actually written to them and outright said “Why is your English so bad when you have a masters degree” then you will get ” I was born in Morocco, Australia, anywhere exotic and untraceable but I have been in STL for years. Right now I am at a job in the Philippines. I should be home soon- I just need to get together enough money to finish this project. I have put so much into it already but as soon as I can raise the capital I will be home.” You can guess where this is going. Now as soon as I let them know I am on to them they remove themselves or at least the current profile from the site.

          • operasinger says:

            dakenn04, Most of what you mention, I’ve never experienced, and I’ve been off and on Match and other single’s sites since the 90s. However, I never use Chat after doing it just once. That experience was awful, so I blocked it and refuse to use it. I only use the site’s email. Once in a while, I’d get a msg that some guy contacted me, and when I go to my Inbox on the site, the msg is there, but there’s no profile. Also I’ve gotten msgs that I suspected to be scammers. Anyway, I’m wondering if it’s easier to be a scammer via the Chat method, which is why I’ve not had the really awful experiences you and other women are writing about. My major gripe is that, the older I’ve gotten, the fewer and fewer men will respond (unless they’re really creepy or needy) until it’s practically zero now. Geezer or not, he seems to be looking for the trophy woman unless he’s got a serious problem–then he searches for a “nurse or a purse” in older women.

          • waitedlongenough says:

            dakenn04: Dakenn04 if you should run across another to ask you for money, turn the tables. and tell them you need ten thousand.. right away.. and tell them not to contact you again until they but the cash in a Federal Bank, with the FBI. you never will hear from them again.. : ) Gosh I just want to chat with some men who are interesting meet at the coffee shop.. where are theyy? :)

      • steveh27 says:

        I think I found you Dawn. I’ld date you if we didn’t live 1000 miles apart, lol. It sounds like in your freelance gig you may have been part of the problem with these sites, the phony corporate profiles set up to get people interested to get their money

        • dakenn04 says:

          Yes as soon as I realized what it was- day 3 into it – I stopped immediately. This is out and out fraud in my opinion

      • waitedlongenough says:

        Dahenn04, You are right.. about the men who are on this one site.. In my profile.. I am strait to the point, My likes and dislikes.. I have 42 messages and 29 flirts.. I believe it’s about the profile.. Be concise of what you are looking for. I have yet to answer . it’s because of the money issue.. I do not have that extra.. But God knows I am curious. The men I see who respond are not bad looking and very interesting.. and are local some from Wyoming and Utah which is a hop and skip I love to travel if sent for of course :) One day I will break down and pay the fee.. The fee would be more manageable if they would have a five day trial for fourteen dollars, or even free for seniors and boomers..

        • dakenn04 says:

          I would say you are only getting that level of response because you have NOT paid for the service. This is how they lured me in as well and I have been paying both for two years. Its fake profiles. It all disappears as soon as you have paid for the sites. Sorry but that has been my experience.

        • steveh27 says:

          If you are not a paid member able to respond you should hide your profile so others cannot see it, get their hopes up & email you. Their wait for a response is futile and sad.

          • waitedlongenough says:

            steveh27: you are right. I will hide my profile for now.. but I am real just as real as you. it wasn’t a brag gag. the comment were the reason I had not respond. I too feel the disappointment when I want to respond, but the sites has all these rules in place just to say hello. I did not mean to be insensitive. For give me.
            Delila

      • chas says:

        Think as a man i would make it clear am not after anyones money or possesions or age cos i think its whats inside that matters and i dont expect photos

    • waitedlongenough says:

      steveh27: you are right. I am one of many women who are not a member of ourtime. I cannot respond of the who viewed me, who winked, nor messages. Because I am not a member. I feel I am a very fit 63 yo who have retired early. But I am kicking around going back to work. I am almost finish writing my book. I love life. I have never dated a Caucasian but I have always been interested and attracted, but never bless to have one to be interested nor attracted to me. I have 42 messages 27 winks 12 favs 2 like picture. but cannot respond.. The fee’s are outrageous. Just to say hello.. My thing is a trial of two weeks for 12 dollars would be the way to go.. But that site isn’t set up for logic. : )

  10. Vonnie says:

    I’ve been scanning your comments and first I want to thank you for the overwhelming response to this article. You’ve expressed some very frustrating yet extremely valid issues about dating sites for seniors.

    I can assure you that people of all ages are complaining about similar problems (i.e., ageism, dishonesty, and how to weed out scoundrels).

    I met my gentleman friend on the Internet (he’s now 70, and I’m 62) and after 13 years, we both agree that’s it’s worked out quite wonderfully. So I’m here to tell you that it is possible to meet Mr/Ms Right on a dating site. But as somebody else mentioned, you may have to kiss a few frogs (or frogettes) first.

    One thing I know for sure, it takes online dating ‘street smarts’ discover the gem you’ve been looking for.

    After some more research on this topic, I plan to write a follow-up piece based on your responses. Maybe together we can find a solution to some of these issues.

    In the meantime, feel free to post more ideas on how to build a better dating site for seniors.

    Thanks again for your comments.
    Vonnie Kennedy

    • operasinger says:

      Thanks for your comments, Vonnie. However, please keep in mind that you met your gentleman friend when he was 57 and you were only 49. I would like to respectfully say that 49 and 57 are not seniors. So you cannot know from 1st-hand experience what it’s like being a woman in single’s sites as a senior. I began using Internet single’s sites when I was 49, and I can tell you from personal experience, there is a world of difference for a woman being that young vs being 70 and trying to find someone. At age 60 and beyond, I began to notice a huge drop in the number and quality of men who contacted me. Plus, most men around my age simply ignored my initial contact to them, which had rarely happened when I was younger than 60ish. Given that I still look good, body is still trim, that I’m physically fit and well educated, this told me that agism is alive and well among men. They simply to not want a 60ish+ woman. And they want even less a 70 year old woman. At this age, almost no guy of quality will respond to my profile. PERIOD.

      • avlavl says:

        Men who are above the age of 50+ are seeking much younger women, but they have little to offer except a few bucks and buy them cheap stuff with a beer belly. Between 50 and 65, men on dating sites, look very old and fat. Not much of a nice healthy looking body. These young women are not about to hook-up with a 50+ man as a life- time partner. So MEN get over it. Some women that are 60+ are trying to tell yall we have nice fit bodies for our age, eat healthy, seeking a lifetime partner and most likely do all the things if not more that some of those younger women can’t do. Go and ask one of them to go skydiving. Better yet, ask them if they play tennis, golf and send us your answer from any one of them. I just had a bad experience this week when I decided to try EliteSingles dating site. Please do not go there. I had a few men sending messages, and those I did not like, I blocked. One man sent a message and I responded by asking him to tell me more about who he is and send me pics. Well when he sent his pics, he had several teeth missing in the front and he said: a) he had no job, b) he was in AA from drinking so much and c) no front teeth, d) he was not fat but obese. I had to let him know I was not interested and block him. Prior to that gentleman, I was corresponding with what sounded like a very nice French guy who told me he lived on the border of VT (in Canada) and that we could meet in Burlington. Well, that was not good for me because of where I live. We finally exchanged telephone numbers and we spoke briefly. I told him I would not drive to VT. So he said he would come to me. I am very cautious when it comes to stuff like that, but this is the icing on the cake. He sent me an email with an attachment he had received from EliteSingles saying my profile was fraudulent and that he can no longer contact me. Well, we had exchanged personal gmail addresses. I was shocked about this – is it really true or is he pulling a stunt here. Of course, my plans are not to correspond with him no longer. I deleted my profile. Weird situation. I am afraid to go on any other dating site. So how do I meet the man of my dreams?

        • Vonnie says:

          You tell them Avlavi! I asked my 70 year old spouse what the fascination is with older men looking for younger chicks. He thinks it’s a pride thing. Something to show off to his buddies. But where’s their pride when the younger woman wants more than his credit card?? What if the viagara fails? Then what? Come on, guys drop the fear and have fun with women your own age. At this age you should be looking for intelligence and companionship.

      • Vonnie says:

        I talked to a few other women in their late 60s and 70s and they concurred – you are right, Operasinger. That’s why more research needs to be done. Thanks for your input.

      • avlavl says:

        I have an idea, why don’t we all meet and get a “tattoo”. Seniors are getting them now. Maybe men might like ‘em and that would be our bait. I am kidding, but truly I am getting a tattoo. Nothing big. It will be small.

      • Terry says:

        Well, hello – having read your post and had an ad on a couple of sites and received only a couple of unacceptable responses,I decided after hundreds of lookers ,being 75 years old women are just the same as you described about men they’re looking for their mostly Cougars and they want younger men well that’s fine I’m retired I’m the self sustaining I own my own home I’ve traveled all over the world I speak three languages and don’t feel like you know if somebody doesn’t want me but I won’t bother them either that’s fine today I live by myself in my comfortable little house that I built for retirement or not built but rebuild so anyways here I sit wondering listening and reading these articles with interest I don’t golf I don’t play tennis I don’t I’ve done all those things I don’t have a desire to do them anymore and I’ve lived a good life I’m healthy I play with my toys with your motorized machines and I help friend and he and I build stuff do things sometimes but we don’t have I guess I’m not as active as I used to be at 75 years old and that’s okay for me and if you want to go on your ship riding somewhere I’ve been on ships I’ve been in both I have all the boats I jumped out of airplanes I don’t feel the need to do those things anymore and so now I’m retired and enjoying every minute of it I just sometimes wish there was somebody over 70 who was semi healthy and semi active as I am I mean i square dance are used to square dance so now I’m just some people might call me a couch potato but I don’t feel that I am but that’s okay I was think what you wishI’ve looked at churches I’ve looked at square dancing club so I’ve looked at it trying to find somebody to be compatible with me so I guess that at 75 I’ll just continue my singularity and enjoy my life as it is when I retired this is what I decided I wanted and this is what I have this is my life I retired in 08 and I’m comfortable interestingly I have the same problems as you ladies finding someone who’s compatible with me so I just gave up for now I just read with interest your complaints your comments and I love look on I get these ads from match.com and stuff like that still and I read about some of them have a book on their own and good grief crazy I don’t know what somebody wants you’re looking Mr Perfect guess what there’s nobody perfect and I don’t claim to be and I don’t know that I’m even going to try to be but that’s ok today and I’ve learned that I am me and I am what I am and what you see is you get what you get and I’m healthy wealthy and wise maybe not as wealthy as wise but I have a good time and I enjoy my friends in my life have a good day I hope you find Mr Perfect nobody has so keep trying you might find an angel somewhere floating around for you bye – Terry

      • waitedlongenough says:

        operasinger: I hear everything you are saying. and some truth to your comments.. But I would like to say this, it’s not us the sixties.. it is the men who think they have to have a woman thirty, forty, and early fifties , to make him feel vibrant .. what THEY fail to understand we women at the age of sixty are more vibrant then we were in our thirties… they fail( Men) to see some sixties are more naive then the young woman they are searching out to fill their fantasies. it’s a song the lyrics are” I can be a lady in the street, Freakie in the bedroom. But love goes longer then the bedroom. it’s so much more. I often wonder those who have younger women for wives, when they can no longer whip their wipe, what then? so I say that to say this we women who are in our sixties, fifties, forties, WE ARE GOLD. waiting for the right MINER! : )

  11. buddywkshop@gmail.com says:

    I am widowed and am approaching 80. I have a high energy level, play tennis, dance, and exercise regularly. I enjoy good health; some arthritis which is under control. Looking for someone to chat with, someone I can make dinner for and watch old movies. l
    am proud of the way I look and considered attractive and well dressed.

    • iris/artist says:

      I work out once a week, work as an artist, want

      some one to chat with, watch also new movies,

      Q, too old for some one approaching 80?

      I am 93

    • Vonnie says:

      You sound like a real catch, Buddywkshop. Tell me, are you looking for a woman of a certain age? Older? Younger? Is it possible for older men to drop the age issue and focus on companionship? Tell me your thoughts.
      Vonnie

    • froshman says:

      Hi. are you male or female?

  12. kalyna says:

    Hi all, this site is difficult 4 me 2use!!! Frustrating!!! I get notifications in my e-mail box telling me someone from this site has responded 2 my posting but I can’t find it when I come here? Can anyone help me??? PUHLEEZE!!! Thnx

    • Barbara, Senior Planet editor says:

      Hi Kalyna, we apologize for our frustrating comment notifications system. We are upgrading it and should have something much better in a few weeks. Meanwhile, please be aware that when you get a notification, it simply means someone else has commented under that article – not necessarily in reply to your comment.

  13. RDOKET says:

    Hi Everyone….This is the First time I visited this site…. And out of curiousity i read many of the comments and the replies… there seems to be quite a bit of confusion about sex and indivuales ….so I offer the following enlightenments… Reguardless of age, there are many persons who want to have an active sex life and also persons who do not want an active sex life… wherther it’s casual or regular, or long term… It seems to me that if a persons Profile Indicated What Your Preferance is Concerning Sex a great deal of misunderstanding, embarrestment , insulting statements and request would be eliminated… Sex should be viewed as an Extra Reward of all your other mutual activities and joys as a “Couple”…. So …Therefore Petition The Web Site to add a Section into the Profile Data to indicate sexual preferrances etc. .. Until then add your own into your Discription Of your Self that other members read of you…
    IE: Not Sexual – Some What – Yes – and just plain NO … ” MAKE IT KNOWN WHAT YOUR PREFFERANCE IS” *** Bob ***

    • Vonnie says:

      Great ideas, RDoket – what do you think about dropping the age category altogether and just going by the profile? I’m interested in your thoughts.

      • Rdoket says:

        I think the age issue should remain in effect for the following reasons…..
        1, ) To insure that a generation gap is not present and people will be more likly to have many things in common.
        2. ) Many persons post photos of themselves were taken 20 /30 years years in the past and don’t show the current up to date looks as they are today… Wow !! is many of them surprising.
        3, ) I know people want others to see them at ” their best” But….. inreality those photos scare away many folks. Hey !! Be Yourself, Here I am…. What counts is on the inside of me.. people who Reconize that become more compapable, happy and trustworthy.
        ** Bob **

    • dakenn04 says:

      I think most men would not be honest about this but I think women would so it might help the male side of the equation.

  14. buddytd says:

    Look, ladies, let’s face it. Most men are jerks. There is ALWAYS a reason why men our age (I’m 66) are single. Most men get older but not necessarily more mature. Most men never learn how to be friends (first) with women. Most men are too concerned with sex as if sex is the answer to everything. Ridiculous.

    I don’t think it matters what dating site you are on, the nature of (most) men doesn’t change.

    I wasn’t looking primarily for sex. I wasn’t looking to find a rich woman. I was looking for compatibility and connection, for communication, for shared interests and values.

    If you had read my profile on OK Cupid, if you had answered a few hundred questions, like I did, it would be easy for you to determine that I was a quality guy.

    It’s not what dating site you pick. It’s not whether or not you pay for access. What matters is that you carefully weed out the wheat from the chaff. You just have to sort out the frogs from the princes.

    Not all women on these sites are prizes either. There is usually a good reason or two why women are single later in life.

    I think what our society does in general to men is not conducive to making them good in relationships. Men are told not to cry, not to show emotion, not to be vulnerable. To “be a man.” Few men can ignore this or overcome their socialization.

    I was just lucky to be born into a culture that rejects that view of men and teaches respect, if not adulation, for women.

    Don’t blame the dating sites. The larger issue is how men get to be the way they are. You know the old saying, about the hand that rocks the cradle can change the world? Well, it’s true.

    Just keep looking. There are good men out there, like me. Sure a lot of us are taken, just like a lot of good women are taken. But not all. The time you spend complaining can be better used in searching.

    Good luck!

    • kalyna says:

      wOW!!! fantastical!!! i agree wholeheartedly. glad 2 hear it coming from a male! thnx kalyna

    • RDOKET says:

      Hi Buddytd….. I think you hit the nail on the head with your statement…That teaches Men to Respect and have Adulation for Women… Why are so many men so arrogant towards women and treat them like a piece of meat or some other lesser person?? I think the basic reason is because they were never taught at home when growing up as a child to have Respect and Adulation for women. “It all begins at Home” You get what you sow… Every male should learn to be a gentleman concerning women.. treating them with respect, dignatity, honesty.. Putting them first before their selves with respect to a womens fellings and needs, treat them like human beings….. It seems too many men just have a bad Lusty attitude towards women and could care less about them… I also think that this web dating site should have provisions for the women to block out any mens offensive communications and report the abuser …. after three reports of abuse the abuser would lose his access and membership to the site …. I am Proud To Say…. If I Don’t Treat A Woman Like As Gentleman… My Wife and Mother Will Come Down From Heaven And Kick My BUTT.. So I Toe The Mark……. *** Bob ***

    • Vonnie says:

      Here, here, buddytd – you have the right attitude. Unfortunately, the jerk turn up first on these sites and that includes men and women. The intelligent date seeker needs to know how to, as you say, weed the wheat from the chaff. Hopefully, there’s a potential date in there somewhere.

      Great comment!

  15. EUNICE ITTY BITTY ME says:

    I AM SO LEAARY OF BEING ON THESE SITES AS ALMOST ALL OF THE MEN WANT TO TALK ABOUT SEX THE FIRST CONVERSATION YOU HAVE WITH THEM. WHEN I LET THEM KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT TALKING ABOUT IT ON THE FIRST CONVERSATION, THEY DROP ME. IS THAT ALL THEY HAVE IN MIND? IM NOT HERE TO PLAY GAMES, BUT IT SEEMS ALL MEN ARE THEY ASK ME TO SEND NUDE PHOTOS, SAYING THINGS LIKE “OH YOU LOOK SO SEXY, SO THEY EXPECT MY BODY TO LOOK LIKE A 20 YEAR OLD, BUT YET THEY ARE IN THE SENIOR PLACES LOOKING FOR A SENIOR.CAN ANYONE FIGUR THAT OUT?.

    • operasinger says:

      Eunice, I’ve never had that experience on any site! It sounds to me that these are sex preditors lurking on the site and their profiles are probably phoney. Absolutely do not respond to them; rather, please report them to the site. These guys could be very dangerous.

    • Vonnie says:

      Take opera singer’s advice, Eunice. Ignore them, block them and forget them.

    • sannion11 says:

      Greetings everyone, I read some segments on your website, always remember that it is not women only who are facing this problem males are too, let me give an example, I was dating this girl seven years and lucky boy, I got into a terrible accident almost die, I spend ten years at the hospital paralyzed from both legs, the day i had the accident my job called at once and she to see me for five minutes and left, at one in the morning, right in the middle of the night, she called me no to checked on me instead, it was to tell me OH i don’t want you anymore i find someone else and I said thank you and she hang of the phone the good news is I am doing very well now but she don’t she can not find a partner per the person told her she had a courage to leave me she can do the same thing to him and he left her,, I never asked her for a dime because my job allowed to do well and now she lose, it been 16 years she is still single. I address this story to let all women around not to give up, we all connect in the same network male or female. Good news for me I doing better…

  16. kalyna says:

    after my last comment i scrolled thru other comments on here and their seems 2 b a theme of maltreatment by society as a whole! ive personally experienced it. i believe AARP sold us out a llooonngg time ago. this includes their dating sites! does anyone out there remember the GREY PANTHERS??? anyone up 4 reviving it? it was great in concept but perhaps a little 2 “radical” 4 seniors @ that time. i say its time 4 nikes attitude! “JUST DO IT” AGAIN. anyone interested? i hope so. somethings gotta be done! soon!!! let me kno. thnx

    • operasinger says:

      Reviving the Grey Panthers isn’t an interest for me for the simply reason that their agenda didn’t really deal with the needs of aging folks, but dealt with social issues such as supporting a single-payer healthcare system, increasing welfare payments, pacifism, lifelong public education, workers’ rights, reproductive rights, abolition of the death penalty, legalization of same-sex marriage, legalization of medical marijuana, and environmentalism through advocacy, education, and action. Whereas I support most of that, the complexities of such an agenda are too great. What’s needed in our case is finding a way to deal with the huge disparities with which women vs men are treated, especially as they age. For example, it’s now sexy for men to have a “dad bod,” but women are held to extreme beauty standards of how sleek celebrity women look after only weeks of having a baby. In other words, if you don’t look like Twiggy weeks after childbirth, you’re not attractive; or a 37 yo actress being “too old” to be cast as the wife of a 55 yo man in a movie (Maggie Gyllenhaal); or at 45 you’re too old to be cast at all but too good looking to be cast as an old woman. The “youth culture” for woman is a very serious problem in the USA, and this is what needs to be addressed.

      • kalyna says:

        APPEARS 2 ME THAT MANY OF THE ISSUES U LISTED THAT THE GREY PANTHERS dealt w/r many that seniors deal w/2day. thnx p.s. i believe that the GREY panthers was 4 we people ho have grey hair? dont kno 4 sure but im gonna google it. ciao

        • Vonnie says:

          Let us know what you find out about the gray panthers, Kalyna. I’m curious.

          Once again, Operasinger, you’re right on the money. Our society has changed very slowly over generations but it’s nice to see that many are becoming more enlightened about racism, same sex relationships, etc. It’s up to the older and wiser community to educate the young about ageism as well. but takes patience, persistence and the willingness to speak up for ourselves. I hope I live to see the day when the back-handed compliment, “You look great for your age,” is banished completely.

          Love your insight!

      • buddytd says:

        All that counts in this society is money. We have a crass commercial culture that is totally about what you look like, how much money you make, the car you drive, the house you live in, etc.

        My woman is gorgeous, not because of her beauty, because she isn’t conventionally beautiful, but because of who she is.

        If you don’t like the way things are, do something about it. Don’t just complain.

        • kalyna says:

          exactly!!! thats why im wanting 2 do something along the lines of the panthers. of course we want it 2 b better,etc. reviving it doesnt mean duplicating point per point.obviously it didnt work 4 us. im thinking of a group 4 seniors BASED on their premise. i used that verbage based on their group. this would b OUR ORG!!!we dont need to COPY anyone! we have too much 2 offer to copy anyone!!! thnx

  17. kalyna says:

    whats the deal w/guys on senior sites? they never follow thru. they dont pay attn. 2 what im looking 4. consequently 50 y.o. waste my time. im a young spirited 70 y.o. 55 y.o. is pushing my boundaries but i can live w/it.

  18. zerrais says:

    Heads up for men who are broke: my dad (54) swooped-in on an unsuspecting 65 year old woman, married her, and became 50% owner of her wealth (he had little). All the while he was a white collar criminal. He finally got caught and went to prison. The state took everything [of hers and his] and considered all assets to be fruit from the poisonous tree. She lost everything.

  19. kalyna says:

    AARP has 30,50,70 age range yet its advertised as over70dating.com. pls. correct b4 i choose 2 sign up.

  20. kkns says:

    I sure wish I could find a way to no longer receive email messages about this thread. I have sent 2 messages to your site, and I never get a reply, and I still get an email every time someone comments. There is no unsubscribe anywhere.

    • Barbara, Senior Planet editor says:

      Hi Kkns, we haven’t received any emails from you, but we’re happy to remove your email from the notifications list for this thread.

      • kkns says:

        Thanks for removing me from the email list. FYI….I am with a verrrrry special man who I met through okcupid.com. There are some good and honest ones out there!

  21. Charlie says:

    If you ladies think you have it bad. I am 71 and a widow. I too, look a lot younger. I have been on our time for only a short time and had several contacts. Three of them I have met. They were nice GENTELMEN. Only one was close to my age. The other two were 80 and 84. But, like of you said, they want women 10to15 years younger. So the way I look at it it’s their loss.

    • Ladybug says:

      Charlie,
      Hi there. Would you mind telling me which side you have checked out.
      Almost dread starting all over again with the new site.
      Thanks
      Sally

  22. GatorGal says:

    I have been on several of the senior dating sites for several months. I finally figured out that men are not interested in women over 60 no matter how good the women might look. Do not waste your time or $$.

    • operasinger says:

      I’ve been on the sites for several years, and this is also the conclusion that I’ve come to unless they have financial and/or health problems. Then they are looking for anyone as a nurse or a purse. Very sad how women our age are so disrespected–even by AARP. Look at the women they feature on their covers. All are celebs who have had facelifts and/or other “enhancement” surgeries/procedures. As we age, we are this society’s throw-away women.

  23. mary says:

    I have tried all the date sites and never had any luck.They all tell you what you want to hear and all become lies. Or all want money. No luck with any or them

  24. Moi says:

    Free or not, every senior dating site sucks! They claim and advertise things that are not true! How can we, as seniors, who are disgusted and tired of their lies, bring them down? Is a class suite the answer? I’d love to get all my money back I’ve spent on these horrible dating sites.

  25. operasinger says:

    Anyone else notice that, even tho Our Time’s website claims to be for folks older than 50, their recent ads on TV don’t mention this any longer and show young singles. They never restricted membership age anyway, so I guess now they are openly appealing to younger singles.

    So, one less Internet site for senior singles, altho Our Time was awful anyway. Even AARP won’t restrict age of members to just seniors. Another black eye for us senior singles.

  26. Raleigh says:

    Dating sites listed above, I used to be on some.. I’ve been on couple of sites.. OK Cupid do not favor me and I deactivated my membership, sick of lies. (Match.com and Zoosk) I’ve got no luck on there also. I got several messages from younger ladies wanting a fling but I needed something more. So we had no chemistry. I’m 57 and seeking a woman btw 50-67. Anyone that would recommend a better site where I can find my soulmate. Thanks.

    • Phyllis says:

      If you find a good website let me know. I too am tired of all the lies and the requests for money.

      • Moi says:

        There are NONE. I quit trying. Nothing but lies, or fake profiles. It’s a game you can’t win.

    • Emma says:

      I found one reviews site that might be useful for you. http://www.onlineseniordatingsites.com.
      I know that SeniorMatch does not allow members below the age of 30. You can take a look and choose the suitable one for you.

    • Alex Iristine says:

      Hi Phyllis,

      I know one review sites for online senior dating
      http://www.seniordatingsitesreview.com. It has listed the best 5 sites including SeniorMatch and OurTime.

      • Phyllis says:

        Thanks! I have tried Our Time and Senior People Meet and have not been real impressed and been asked for money from men on both sites. I am taking a break from the sites for now because it all became to depressing but if I decide to return I will try one of the others.

      • operasinger says:

        You gotta love it: Check out the SeniorMatch website. It has a photo of a 30-something woman with a 50-something man. So another slap to senior women. Plus the ages that they allow are 30 years and older. Per their website: “senormatch.com [sic] is specifically designed for senior citizens…” PALEEZE! 30s and 40s (maybe even 50s) are not senior citizens! This is infuriating.

      • operasinger says:

        Also want to comment about Our Time. I tried them and hated it because of how it works. Truly awful. And you show know this: Per their website, “OurTime is a service that’s designed for singles over the age of 50 years old.” That’s bunk because they allow any age to sign up. I kept getting hit on by 20+ and 30+ guys looking for a wallet. Gag…. It’s just another single’s site where older men look for younger women… -sigh-…

  27. Hairspray59 says:

    Does it look like everyone around you makes it look so simple but you have a hard time with this idea whenever someone new asks you out? You may be setting about it the wrong method, or you may merely require some dating ideas for ladies that will make the procedure a little simpler. Get tips at
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  28. Phyllis says:

    Have tried Match, Our Time, OK Cupid & POF and have been asked for money on all of them. So depressing and frustrating.

  29. dancinglady says:

    I have been on these sites, not for long but, I also noticed that the men seem to want young ladies,
    ,
    I been on zooks,

  30. buddytd says:

    I think it’s interesting that you damn OK Cupid with faint praise. If you are paying money for ANY of the other sites, you are likely wasting it. The folks at OK Cupid have devised a series of questions. The more you answer and the more the people you are looking for answer, the better the suggested matchups.

    As an example, I am very close friends with a woman I would otherwise have never met. We are a 90% match to each other. It would be more, but neither of us wants a long distance relationship. BTW she is 60 and I am 66.

    As the best example of all, I was already in a committed but open relationship when I found OKC. By being totally honest about what I was looking for – an activity partner – and about my current relationship, I found three lovely women. The first two would have had to be long distance relationships, so those didn’t work out.

    The fourth person I met (about a year ago now as I write this) turned out to be the other love of my life. I have NEVER met anyone I am so compatible with.

    You get what you pay for, indeed!

    • Moi says:

      I’m glad you found someone. I’m also on OkCupid and have been matched with several men who are 85% and higher. ALL of them live long distance, like over 500 miles. How does that help me again?

    • LadyLovinHerLife says:

      I’m amazed that OK Cupid is even listed here. I thought it was set up just for scamming. Once my profile was complete, the first 7 men who contacted me were all scammers. That’s right, 100%. I couldn’t delete my profile fast enough.

      Why isn’t Plenty Of Fish listed? I’ve had good results there, and it’s a free site.

      • Moi says:

        I’ve been on ALL of the dating sites, one time or another cause mainly I refuse to give up. POF is one of the worst. I was on there the other day, thinking I would put up my profile once again. I did a search and there is absolutely not one guy I’d be interested in. NOT one! All profiles have been on POF for at least 5 years. Not one has been updated, not one. Same old photos, same old blah blah blah. What does that tell you?

  31. country girl says:

    I am looking for someone to have an intelligent conversation with. Someone that can make me laugh and just enjoy life.

    • terry says:

      sounds like you’re looking for intelligent Joker

  32. Moi says:

    If anyone finds a great, free senior site, besides OkCupid or POF, PLEASE let me know! I am exhausted with trying and not getting any where near what I’m looking for.

    • Barbara, Senior Planet editor says:

      FYI, we’re working on an updated list of sites that includes some new options – pros and cons of each. Stay tuned… We expect to publish it in the next two weeks.

    • Moongirl says:

      Lots of scammers on OKCupid…

  33. operasinger says:

    OK, what’s going on? Just joined Singles Over 60 (I’m 69) because most guys don’t seem to want women my age, and I want a guy close to my own age. So the first guy who contacts me on SO60 is 43–WTF? PALEEZE! Why are these so-called Senior single’s sites allowing all ages to join? It’s frustrating enough being an older woman on all of the other single’s sites because of competition with younger women, but we now must put up with this on the senior sites, too. Why? What are the senior site creators thinking?

    • Paula says:

      Hi operasinger, I was also on SinglesOver60. org. But I feel good so far. I was also on other general dating sites like Match etc, that’s where I got a lot of contacts from really young men that could even be my grandson :( But the situation is much better when I am on SO60. Though there is not that much contacts but most of them are serious contacts that I can tell. Maybe there is some patience needed.

    • homentx says:

      I’m with u opera singer! I’m 68 and have not done well on any of these sites at, especially Perfect Match….35 yr olds reaching out to me! Uhhhhh….. NO! If any one knows of a truly focusing on seniors I would like to know.

      • Barbara, Senior Planet editor says:

        Hi homentx and operasinger, we just published our updated dating sites list. We have big hopes for Stitch.com. http://seniorplanet.org/best-senior-dating-sites/

        • operasinger says:

          Thanks, Barbara. I’ll check out Stitch. I recently joined OurTime and have been hugely disappointed. Again, they let all ages join. But reading email only on their site is a disaster and very difficult to manage in the crush of those who put only something in the Subject line and no message. You also get a flood of really dumb stuff from OurTime, notifications if a guy merely looks at your profile, etc. But worst of all, their Search program is virtually worthless. So I will end my subscription when my 1 month runs out. It’s just not user friendly.

      • ponyup says:

        Have you tried Zoosk? It has men your age. Just as in any site, you have to pick and choose who to learn more about.

        • operasinger says:

          I’ve done a lot of research on the various single’s sites, and Zoosk has by far the lowest ratings and some really scary comments. Also, I don’t like how they have implemented the profiles. So, in short, this is not a single’s site that I’m willing to risk my money on, especially as a senior looking for a serious relationship and not just casual social flings, which seems to be the purpose of Zoosk.

        • Moi says:

          Zoosk is very expensive, just like Our Time, eHarmony. I need very inexpensive, like $5/mo or less. Free is the best.

  34. Moi says:

    I’ve been on senior dating sites off and on for several years. Out of all the first dates I’ve had, finally met one guy who I actually enjoyed. After 4 dates, he decided to call it quits with no explanation. He wasn’t perfect either, but at least I was willing to try. So, I keep trying, but refuse to pay to find a good guy any longer. And even though I’m still attractive and in shape, being 63 seems to be a huge factor. Most guys my age want a younger woman, even though most of them are not much to look at or have that much to offer. But wanting a woman who’s 15 – 20 yrs younger is ok, right? Yet as soon as a older woman wants a younger man, say 5 or 10 years, all of a sudden we’re Cougars. A word I absolutely hate! Personally, an older man who thinks he needs a much younger woman, has some serious issues. I stay away from players and fakes.

    • buddytd says:

      Most men are a-holes, what can I say? When I was younger, I preferred older women. I am 66. I prefer women my age, within 10 years.

      Older women know what they want. Older women are sexier.

      Generally speaking, if someone is single at our age, there’s a reason for it, and a lot of times the reason is that they suck at relationships.

      Look for a guy who has a legit reason for being available. Look for a guy who knows how to treat a woman. Look for a guy who has worked on himself, to become a better person.

      We’re out there, we’re just rare. Don’t give up, and DON’T SETTLE for less than what you want.

      As my current love says, you definitely have to kiss a lot of frogs. You do NOT have to sleep with them.

      Bud
      Eugene Oregon

      • operasinger says:

        You can’t know how someone treats another, who has worked on themselves, etc. until you spend time with them. You can’t tell this from their profiles because many people say things that are not true. The problem for women is our age. It is our biggest obstacle because soooooooo many men want younger women. They simply won’t respond if you contact them, and we don’t come up in their searches.

        Plus, the so-called singles websites for Seniors are NOT just for single seniors. They let all ages in. So us older women are ignored there, too. The only website that claims to verify their subscribers is Stitch.com. I have not tried them yet because, frankly, I’m burned out from doing this for several years, wasting lots of money from membership fees, and going nowhere with it.

  35. operasinger says:

    So you know, the AARP single’s website is not just for seniors and is open for all ages. I was shocked after joining to find that out, and the first (and only) man to contact me is 42 with a 6-year old son. I’ve been on this site for several weeks, and no other guy has contacted me. I’m an active, fit, intelligent, and attractive women, but I’m 69. I’m looking for a man my age, but apparently my age is a huge factor, and I don’t come up in their searches because they want a younger woman. In fact, they don’t even respond to my messages to them. Had the same experience on Match.com. This was the polar opposite experience when I was in my 50s.

    • avlavl says:

      I can understand where you are coming from with having to reveal your true age and men not even attempting to look at your profile. I am in the same boat. I look so much younger than my actual age. So what do I do? I hate to lie, but I have to – in order to get the attention of men I’d like to date. I haven’t had a problem with it YET but I have not found the man I would like to spend the rest of my life with either. I do want to say that even though I don’t reveal my true age, the men that are younger than the age I put on the site looks so much older and I feel like they are my father. Truly. So go figure. Even with lying about my age I am still getting older looking men who are fuddy duddy, big bellies all out of shape and here I am in shape, exercise, eat healthy, look very good in my cloths ( I am slender) and look very youthful. I can easily pass for 50 years old if not younger. But I don’t flaunt it. Went to the ER once, gave all my info to the gal. Yet another gal came in to ask my age and I told her someone already had taken that information. She just wanted to make sure that person had it right because I looked no where near what I had put down and it was my true age. I was happy. So gals, do what you have to do to get that man you want. I am almost there. Men lie about their ages too. I call it a lil white lie. And I do tell them on the phone before we meet that I did not tell my correct age.

      • operasinger says:

        Thanks for your feedback. I’m in almost the exact situation that you are in. I do not look my age, am active, fit, intelligent, educated, blah blah blah, but this doesn’t seem to matter to men now. But what’s bothering me most is finding out that single’s site saying that they are for seniors are lying because they let anyone of any age join. So there seems no where to find men our ages who genuinely want to a woman their age. Even on the senior sites, they want much younger women and can find them there. Senior sites should have an age floor. Period.

        • avlavl says:

          I totally agree. Senior sites should have a way to not allow men under a certain age to register. I am sure they can monitor the postings before posting them. They should also let men know upfront that this site is for SENIOR MEN ONLY. The do the monitoring so there are no surprises. But you know what, I doubt there will be many senior men joining. They want that young gal. Get it. We’re in a sorta catch 22 situation. Youthful and beautiful yet that age number is standing in the way. We all need to think of a nice site that would work well for us youthful senior women and create it together. Let it be FREE to all. Count me in!

          • operasinger says:

            Yup, I agree. But also, no women younger than, say 55. If it’s a seniors single’s site, then it should be ONLY seniors.

            If I had better website creation skills, I’d put this together myself. But someone needs to address the true needs of senior singles, especially women. We are society throw aways.

  36. Seanner says:

    There are far more senior dating sites as I know. Most of them are basically the same. You need to pay for a membership to make real contact with other members you are interested in. Actually any luck needed on these kind of dating sites. My friend finally met her current wife on singles over 60.

    • AVLAVL says:

      It might be quite nice, not sure how women would feel about this, but have the dating site strictly for senior women. No men. Men interested in this singles site for women only would surely visit it. It would have to be known that the site is strictly women 50+ seeking men 50+. And broadcast the site all over the Internet. Women sign up for free and MAYBE let the men pay a lil something to see us. We would weed out those that are not serious about a relationship or companionship? Something like that.

      • Baygirl says:

        I am 65 and would love to find local men my age interested in women my age too. I think your idea to have a women site and the men have to pay to see us us great. The concept is genius! I am just researching which site gets best reviews and dang none of them do. I have known a few from Chrisian Mingle and EHarmony that have found do done and gotten married and 3-4 on Match that have been out several times with different guys so I don’t know.

        • rodger says:

          Go on Oasis.com. It’s a totally free dating site & a lot of members are 60 plus. Just the site for you. Pass it on you’ll love it

      • kalyna says:

        wow, ure off 2 a good start! let me kno how i can help! thnx

  37. JAMILFUNJOY says:

    It s all commercial ,love is commercial ,attraction is commercial , fun is commercial ,when money maters involved how it can be natural ? I tried since longtime ,I can’t find any free site ,tired from all this ,if there is any direct me please . Thanks !

    • Moi says:

      To Jamilfunjoy: Try okCupid or POF. They are both free, but you still need to be aware there are still stagnant profiles and you may receive many out of state or long distance messages. It’s always up to you if you want to respond, of course.

  38. Rare says:

    A disaster. I joined POF, met a nice guy. Had chemistry on first date. Lusty. Second date was scheduled. We spoke on phone and he said he was stoned from smoking pot. Well after talking about it in length as I don’t date drug users, we said goodbye but was still going to meet as he promised not to smoke. he text back canceling our date and ending everything. I was disappointed. Pot came between a possible future relationship. Why is he on any dating site?

    • buddytd says:

      I’ve been smoking marijuana since I was 19. My current love does not smoke but does not mind if I do. What’s your hangup that this is a big deal to you? It doesn’t sound like he was insistent that you smoke too.

      I smoke mostly at night, to relax so I can sleep. Before the operation, I did it to help with lower back pain that was severe.

      Some of the best sexual experiences I ever had occurred when I was under the influence.

      If someone has an addictive personality it is one thing, but if you’re uptight about a harmless drug, I would say YOU might be the one with the issues. He probably figured out that you are intolerant, and who needs that?

      Why is HE on any dating site? Wow. Why are YOU?

      • buddytd says:

        Is it possible to unsubscribe? I am really done responding to this thread and would like someway not to receive further notices. Thanks!

        • Barbara, SeniorPlanet editor says:

          Hi buddytd, we’ve unsubscribed you from the comment notifications list. You should receive no more emails. Thanks for commenting!

        • Barbara, Senior Planet editor says:

          Hi buddytd, we have removed your email from the automated comment notifications list. If you comment again on Senior Planet, please make sure the “Notify me” check box is unchecked if you prefer not to receive emails when others comment in the same thread.

  39. Fannytoo says:

    I am very disappointed in Dating Services
    for Seniors. You do not receive photos
    nor profiles. I will not rejoin this site and
    I have cancelled my card so you cannot
    renew.

  40. kkns says:

    I have used plentyoffish (pof.com) off and on for about 3 years. I have never paid and like the fact that you have the chance to do free emailing to all members. It also allows you to sort members in numerous ways……height, distance, smoking/non, etc.

    • Moi says:

      POF is completely free, but there are still so many jerks and losers on there it’s laughable. Most guys think it’s alright to be very aggressive on the 2nd date. Wrong! How about asking me first if it’s alright to kiss me instead of thrusting your tongue down my throat? There are no quality men on these sites. Stay away from POF, Match., OurTime, eHarmony. They are all crap! You’re better off alone.

      • Second Time Around says:

        I too have played around with POF. Let me tell you something, the same men I see on POF, I see them on all the other sites I’ve visited. Leaving me not placing an ad. I feel these men on POF really do not know what they want except that pretty young gal who doesn’t want him but his money. If he has that. Some of them are seeking an older woman as a sugar mama. And those men that are older, want the young but feel horrible because they most likely cannot do the sex thang. Get my drift? Some 50 something have a hard time. So, trying to find a decent man is like trying to find a decent job. When you were looking for one.

  41. CharlieD39 says:

    Visited several senior dating sites. Nothing is free as the old adage goes!

  42. Steve says:

    These sites want me to fill out numerous pieces of information and then it turns out there is no one that lives in my area. Bad humbug.

  43. stardust10 says:

    Looking for something real

  44. Madbarraza says:

    Looking for fun

  45. JIMBOCRIMBO says:

    Hi there,

    A very good friend of mine is moving to New York in a week and the love Gods have not been on here side.

    Does anyone have some suggestions on where she can go to meet people, she is moving to Brooklyn.

    Thanks!

  46. lucylou says:

    recently widowed looking for companionship ,someone to have a nice dinner with, a movie or just stay home and watch tv

    • vee says:

      hi lucy

    • 1lovebasketballhoops says:

      I live in Martinsville VA.

  47. DatingGranny says:

    I have another great Dating site that I highly recommend… SeniorTimeDating

    It’s been really fun meeting new people, the site is very secure and easy to navigate. Every one I have meet has been great.

    Only downside is Its not free but pretty inexpensive for the quality of members.

    • Barbara, Senior Planet editor says:

      DatingGranny, thanks for your recommendation!

  48. Lisa says:

    I am a member of AARP & decided to
    Take a look at their dating site. Supposedly
    A several day free browse. I put in my
    Desired ages, zip code etc & all the
    Site did was “loading” but it never fully loaded & I was not shown any matches in my area.
    Nothing happened….Don’t waste your time
    They do not have it together!!!!!

    • Barbara, Senior Planet editor says:

      Hi Lisa, we’re sorry you had this issue with the AARP site. We can’t attest to results, but we do know several people who have used it without having any technical issues. After you enter your basic details, the site loads a pop-up window asking for email – ie: registration. It’s possible your connection was slow – or that you have pop-ups disabled in your browser.

      • kalyna says:

        pls. dont cover 4 aarp! they 2 r using seniors. they say SENIOR dating then allow 30 y.o.? come on now!!! use the pot or get off it. u sure didnt respond 2 my issue of a few wks. ago. prob. cuz u have no defense!

        • Barbara, Senior Planet editor says:

          Hi Kalyna, thanks for your comments. We are not covering for AARP. In my response to a previous commenter, I said: “We can’t attest to results, but we do know several people who have used it without having any technical issues.” In other words, as far as matches go, we don’t know what kind of results people are having with the site besides the results our writer had, but we are pretty sure there aren’t significant TECHNICAL issues. We did see your earlier comment about AARP’s site but didn’t respond because your comment was not addressed to us so we thought it was for the community in general. It’s clear that most of these dating sites have an issue with people joining who are not within the target age range. One new site for people over 50, Stitch, verifies member identities – including age. We wrote about it here http://seniorplanet.org/best-senior-dating-sites/ Let us know if you try it.

  49. Dreamer says:

    Living in Norway, I , as an English speaker, have been trying to join dating sites where I hope to find English speakers….
    But for some reason, if you cannot give an address in England, you also cannot join……
    This is so frustrating!
    Perhaps you can explain this?
    Surely, in this digital age, one should be able
    to find that special person worldwide!!!:-)
    Yes: Match.com is also refusing to let one search..only get norwegian profiles….! Thanks!

  50. Juliet says:

    I would want someone that is kind, caring, loving, enjoys life, one that knows there is stress in life..but doesn’t let it run her life, one that isn’t afraid to show and express their feelings, someone that agrees to disagree at times.two one eight three three two seven five eight four.. text me you can also email me at greenjuliet 55 with those that come…

  51. cbmetronyc55 says:

    Based on your high praise, I paid in advance for a 6-month membership to AARP’s site and have found it to be a total waste of money. I’ve sent messages to some members and none of them show “read” That doesn’t seem possible unless they are no longer active members that were never removed from their database.. I should have canceled within the first 3 days (their money-back period) but since it was holiday time I thought things would improve when everyone was back in town. But it’s just as bad.
    I also signed up for OK Cupid for free and it’s far superior.

    • Barbara, Senior Planet editor says:

      cmetronyc, thanks for your helpful feedback. The AARP site was fairly new when this article was written but we had tested its non-AARP version, How About We, and found it worked well. We wish you the best of luck on OK Cupid!

      • kalyna says:

        sounds like the same old nonsense from other sites using/abusing seniors! were well-seasoned and that doesnt make us stupid!!!

  52. ol' green eyes says:

    that’s what happens if one doesn’t delete their own profile before cancelling, also remove auto-renew in settings…

  53. vegas gentlman says:

    looking for my special lady

    • Fayzie says:

      Hello, I am looking for a quality gent also but I do not sites. It is so degrading as the older gents want younger chicks. I am 81 and tell the truth but nothing happens. I look younger so maybe I should lie???? I wonder if the gent from LV found his lady. Although I would not want to live in LV, just visit.

  54. STL60 says:

    GREAT article – thanks!

  55. Irish Eyes says:

    I found that profiles continued to be posted after the subscriber has decided to end membership on OurTime.

    I, too, kept getting “flirts” from the company months after I had stopped my 1 month trial.

    My effort to stop these contacts was thwarted by their policies. Now I have just blocked all e-mails(and I guess my profile is still showing!)

    • Barbara, Senior Planet editor says:

      Irish Eyes, thanks for posting your experience – it’s valuable information!

    • Moi says:

      Irish Eyes, you must go back in and hide your profile or delete it if you no longer want it on the site. Go to help and continue on from there.