A lot of people remarked on Helen Mirren’s plunging gown at the Golden Globes last week; a lot of people said she looked really great. She must have been hearing that all night — and she knew what people meant: “for your age.”
So when she stood in front of the microphone with actor Gerard Butler, 49, and he said, “You look absolutely lovely tonight, Helen” (looking her up and down), Mirren responded, “Thank you. So do you — for your age.”
It was an elegant correction of incipient and unintended ageism — more elegant even than Mirren’s gown. And it made us think: What are some pointed but polite corrections for other phrases that people use when they think they’re being nice — when they don’t realize that by implying, say, that older people usually don’t look lovely, they’re being ageist?
We came up with a few (and borrowed a couple). But we need your help in coming up with more.
Here are ours:
“Hi there, Pops!”
“Hi there, Sonny!”
“Your foot’s hurting? Well, you are 72…”
“My other foot must be younger!”
“You look so much younger” (than your age)
“This is what someone my age looks like.” (Thanks to our Twitter follower Jacqueline Gikow for this one.)
“You’re so young at heart!”
“You mean my heart hasn’t kept up with my body?”
“You’re still so youthful!”
“So are you!”
“You’re so cool!”
“You’re pretty cool for your age, too.”
Your turn: How would you respond to the following?
“I’d never guess you were 65!”
“You’re so cute!”
“Oh, you’re not old!”
“You’re not a bit like my grandmother!
“Can I help you, young lady?”
How often have you heard — or offered — compliments like these. How do they make you feel? And how would you respond?
COMMENTS
14 responses to “Helen Mirren’s Zinger Exposes Ageist Compliments”
When told that I look so much younger then my age, I respond to the kid that I really wish to look just like him/her when I grow up. When told that I don’t look like his/her grandmother, I truly respond that I never had children, nor grand-children, that’s why! When I am given a seat (help) in the public transport after work, I say thank you very much and don’t think of the reason why – could be anything.
Nora O’Donnell on the CBS Morning News said today that Bernie Sanders may be 74 but he is still a fresh face – seems very aegist. What does age have to do with being fresh or having fresh ideas??
Actually, age can increase the potential for fresh ideas! I often speak about the unique genius of people over 50 and way beyond. We tend to be more reflective. We tend to stop worrying what others think — which is a huge barrier to fresh ideas! We tend to be concerned more with purpose than style; to the extent our time is free from earning a living and we’re willing to do anything creative, we can liberate much of that brilliance that came in our DNA but got quashed out of of long ago.
Wisdom may get a lot of lip service, but it’s really unappreciated. I can’t imagine that wisdom equals hidebound. Wise people keep growing more insightful and creative all the time.
Someday soon, people will look forward to aging as a time of fulfillment and constant new adventure. That’s how it is for so many people I am privileged to know. Thanks to Senior Planet for helping to connect us.
To this little gem … “Can I help you, young lady?” … my response, which I am forced to use all too frequently, is,
“Sir/Madame, I am certainly not young as you can well see, and the appellation of ‘lady’ has always been in serious doubt where I’m concerned!
Plastic surgery is ageist & sexist? Not just women & not just older women are getting plastic surgery. One might think your statement is ageist & sexist for even hinting at that. It’s ok to want to look good at any age. She’s not trying to hide or deny her age.
I think anytime someone tries to compliment you, they have taken notice you are alive and are present. Too often older people are just invisible to young people, they are not even seen or acknowledged. When they are actually included in a conversation and treated as an equal to the young it is rare. I think older men have an easier time being seen than older women. So every compliment that I receive, I accept as a genuine attempt to make a connection, no matter how ageist it may sound. The intention is most important.
My previous CEO used to call me “Young Lady”…made me feel as if he didn’t know my name!
1- “Really? I guess that’s why you’ll never win the lotto.”
2- “Really? You should see my dog.”
3- “Really? I guess I’m not dead either.”
4- “Really? Poor dear; tell her to get a life.”
5- “Really? No, I can diaper you myself; now be a good baby and turnover.”
Fun Stuff:)
People have said to me: “How could you be 73? You’re so vibrant!” (Or if they have not met me yet, “You sound do vibrant.” The next time it happens, I may say, “Well I’ve had many years of practice at being fully alive, and I hope for at least another 30 years of the same.”
When people say it’s so cute that any of us are having a good life or still in love with a spouse after decades, I don’t know what to say. Right now I just make a face that tries to say “Really? On your planet love and life are cute?” Maybe it’s time to affirm that love and life take work, not to mention some ripe wisdom. And when life works at any age, it’s really juicy and sometimes sexy. I didn’t know how to live this well many years ago.
“I’d never guess you were 65!”
Thank you.
“You’re so cute!”
Thank you.
“Oh, you’re not old!”
Thank you.
“You’re not a bit like my grandmother!
Thank you.
“Can I help you, young lady?”
Thank you.
I believe that everyone is too quick to take offense in this world. We seniors are more likely to help push back against ageism by setting an example of graciousness than by being snarky.
Gloria Steinham was the originator of the response “This what [given age] looks like”.
An aegist comment I often hear when someone has passed is “it’s sad he/she died but they were already 85”. (As if to say at some point life is no longer worth living.)
Mirren has had a whack of plastic surgery, and she did it for the compliments. She looks as good as money can buy. Be honest. She’s as ageist and sexist as the people making the comments to her but also a hypocrite.
When my mom passed away at 95 years old, people said “It’s sad, but she lived a good long life.” Like that was supposed to help with the loss and make her death insignificant
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Good Morning, Senior Planet!
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Morning Stretch
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Activate the joints and muscles and increase mental focus during this exercise class.
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Introduction to Learning Apps – Languages & The Arts
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This presentation will introduce you to apps that help you learn different languages, explore the arts and art history, and even show you how to play instruments.
Smartphones at a Glance
Smartphones at a Glance
How smart are they? We'll tell you all about smartphones.
Chair Yoga
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Virtual Tour: Belfast, Ireland
Virtual Tour: Belfast, Ireland
Join Senior Planet and our tour guides from Discover Live for a virtual visit to Belfast, Ireland!
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點對點付款
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Fit Fusion Workout
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This presentation will give an overview of the free content available on YouTube and show you how to navigate the site with ease.
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Activate the joints and muscles to become limber and increase balance during this exercise class.
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Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Internet of Things: Wearables
Internet of Things: Wearables
Learn about the health, wellness, and personal safety benefits of wearable technology.
Saving Money with Tech
Saving Money with Tech
Explore ways that tech can help you save money and manage your finances!
eBay & PayPal
eBay & PayPal
This lecture provides an overview of the popular auction website eBay and the pioneer online payment service PayPal.
10 events,
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Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
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Internet of Things: Healthcare
Internet of Things: Healthcare
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Introducción a la IA
Introducción a la IA
¡Venga a chatear con ChatGPT y aprenda sobre IA!
Taijiquan (Tai Chi)
Taijiquan (Tai Chi)
Relax your mind and strengthen your body with this gentle exercise class.
Introduction to Heart Rate Monitor Apps
Introduction to Heart Rate Monitor Apps
Did you know your phone can measure your heart rate? Learn about free heart rate monitor apps and why they can be useful.
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Good Morning, Senior Planet!
Good Morning, Senior Planet!
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Morning Stretch
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Learn how fitness apps can help you track and conquer your goals!
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Functional Strength Training
Use bodyweight, bands, and dumbbells to build your strength.
Fit Fusion Workout
Fit Fusion Workout
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Stronger Bones
Stronger Bones
Activate the joints and muscles and increase mental focus during this exercise class.
Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
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Introduction to Heart Rate Monitor Apps
Introduction to Heart Rate Monitor Apps
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Did you know your phone can measure your heart rate? Learn about free heart rate monitor apps and why they can be useful.
iPhones
iPhones
In this lecture you’ll learn about the latest iPhone, its features and what to consider if you’re thinking of buying one.
AI Image Generators
AI Image Generators
Go beyond stick figures and bring your imagination to life with AI image generators!
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Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
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Introduction to Estate Planning Resources & Tools
Introduction to Estate Planning Resources & Tools
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A simple plan is better than no plan! Get to know a few free and low-cost resources that make it simple to plan your estate.
智能手機攝影簡介
智能手機攝影簡介
在手機上也可以照下專頁的圖片!如果您對您手機上的這個功能還不清楚的話,您可別錯過這堂講座喔!
Fit Fusion Workout
Fit Fusion Workout
Get your heart pumping during this fun, high-energy workout!
Anti-Virus & Malware Removal Programs At a Glance
Anti-Virus & Malware Removal Programs At a Glance
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Concerned about viruses and malware? Attend this lecture to learn how to keep your device safe!
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Balance/Strength
Activate the joints and muscles to become limber and increase balance during this exercise class.
Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Podcasts at a Glance
Podcasts at a Glance
Learn what Podcasts are and where to find them!
Introduction to Booking Vacation Stays Online
Introduction to Booking Vacation Stays Online
Need a vacation? Learn about popular websites and apps for booking vacation rentals.
Streaming & Smart TVs
Streaming & Smart TVs
This presentation will introduce streaming: what it is, how to use it, and the variety of content available.
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Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Introducción a chatear con IA
Introducción a chatear con IA
Aprenda cómo aprovechar al máximo ChatGPT y otros software de IA.
IoT: Smart Homes
IoT: Smart Homes
Want to live like the Jetsons? Learn how smart home technology is making that a reality!
Taijiquan (Tai Chi)
Taijiquan (Tai Chi)
Relax your mind and strengthen your body with this gentle exercise class.
Tech Tips for Disaster Preparedness
Tech Tips for Disaster Preparedness
Technology can play an important role in making sure you’re prepared for an emergency. Come to this lecture to find out how.
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Good Morning, Senior Planet!
Good Morning, Senior Planet!
Start your week off right with a preview of the week's upcoming programs and a guided meditation session!
Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
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Mindfulness Apps
Mindfulness Apps
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This lecture introduces mindfulness and its physical and mental benefits, such as reducing anxiety, improving memory, and lowering blood pressure.
Functional Strength Training
Functional Strength Training
Use bodyweight, bands, and dumbbells to build your strength.
Fit Fusion Workout
Fit Fusion Workout
Get your heart pumping during this fun, high-energy workout!
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Stronger Bones
Stronger Bones
Activate the joints and muscles and increase mental focus during this exercise class.
Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Drones
Drones
Learn why more and more drones are taking to the skies!
Online Rx Drug Resources
Online Rx Drug Resources
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Learn helpful tools for understanding drug costs, comparing pharmacy prices, and finding discounts and coupons.
Chair Yoga
Chair Yoga
Follow various cues to develop body alignment and breath awareness.
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Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Virtual Museum Tours
Virtual Museum Tours
In this lecture we'll explore some of these virtual galleries, as well as digital tools that help bring art, architecture, and history to life!
線上購物
線上購物
本講座將提供有關使用流行網站 Amazon.com 在線購買從洗碗精到日用雜貨等所有商品的一般介紹。
Fit Fusion Workout
Fit Fusion Workout
Get your heart pumping during this fun, high-energy workout!
Intro to Smartphone Photography
Intro to Smartphone Photography
Say cheese! Learn more about your smartphone's camera.
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Balance/Strength
Balance/Strength
Activate the joints and muscles to become limber and increase balance during this exercise class.
Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Intro to Selling Online
Intro to Selling Online
This lecture will introduce you to different online platforms for selling all kinds of items, including furniture, clothing, household items, and more.
Messaging Apps
Messaging Apps
This lecture will go over the features of three widely-used apps: iMessages, Google Chats, and WhatsApp.
Job Searching in the Digital Age
Job Searching in the Digital Age
This lecture will provide an overview of how to use social media in your job search, demonstrate digital job searching tools like LinkedIn, and offer tips and advice to job seekers.
10 events,
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Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Usos cotidianos de la IA
Usos cotidianos de la IA
¡Todo el mundo habla de IA! Asista a esta clase para ver cómo la IA es parte de la vida cotidiana.
Introduction to Nextdoor
Introduction to Nextdoor
This presentation will introduce you to the most common uses for the Nextdoor app and its main features, along with some best practices for using it safely.
Taijiquan (Tai Chi)
Taijiquan (Tai Chi)
Relax your mind and strengthen your body with this gentle exercise class.
All Things Zoom
All Things Zoom
This lecture will go over how to use Zoom to chat with friends & family, and take virtual classes with Senior Planet!
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Podcasts at a Glance
Podcasts at a Glance
Learn what Podcasts are and where to find them!
YouTube
YouTube
This presentation will give an overview of the free content available on YouTube and show you how to navigate the site with ease.
Internet of Things: Entertainment
Internet of Things: Entertainment
This lecture will explore the many ways we interact with IoT on a day-to-day basis and take a look at how it’s revolutionizing entire industries.
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Good Morning, Senior Planet!
Good Morning, Senior Planet!
Start your week off right with a preview of the week's upcoming programs and a guided meditation session!
Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Internet of Things at a Glance
Internet of Things at a Glance
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This lecture provides an overview of the vast world of the Internet of Things and discusses best practices for keeping your devices secure.
Functional Strength Training
Functional Strength Training
Use bodyweight, bands, and dumbbells to build your strength.
Fit Fusion Workout
Fit Fusion Workout
Get your heart pumping during this fun, high-energy workout!
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Stronger Bones
Stronger Bones
Activate the joints and muscles and increase mental focus during this exercise class.
Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Virtual Reality at a Glance
Virtual Reality at a Glance
Join us to learn about the exciting world of virtual reality and how you can experience it!
Internet of Things: Healthcare
Internet of Things: Healthcare
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Come learn how the medical industry is embracing the Internet of Things (IoT) technology to treat patients remotely.
Chair Yoga
Chair Yoga
Follow various cues to develop body alignment and breath awareness.
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Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Video Chat
Video Chat
In this lecture, you’ll find out about some commonly-used, no or low-cost video chat apps, learn about their features, and explore video chat tips so you can present your best self when on a video chat.
YouTube
YouTube
歡迎您來學習如何使用 YouTube。
Fit Fusion Workout
Fit Fusion Workout
Get your heart pumping during this fun, high-energy workout!
Social Media for Job Searches
Social Media for Job Searches
In this lecture, we’ll discuss ways to make sure social media helps you when you’re looking for work!
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Balance/Strength
Balance/Strength
Activate the joints and muscles to become limber and increase balance during this exercise class.
Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Introduction to TikTok
Introduction to TikTok
This presentation will introduce you to TikTok, its rise to global popularity, and most common features, including privacy settings.
Graphic Design Tools
Graphic Design Tools
In this presentation, we'll explore the popular design platform, Canva, and demonstrate how you can get very creative with basic tools like Google Slides.
Chair Yoga
Chair Yoga
Follow various cues to develop body alignment and breath awareness.
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Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Generadores de imágenes de IA
Generadores de imágenes de IA
¡Consiga hacer algo más que figuras de palitos y haga que su imaginación cobre vida con generadores de imágenes de IA!
Intro to Gaming
Intro to Gaming
Game on! Come discover the world of gaming and start playing!
Taijiquan (Tai Chi)
Taijiquan (Tai Chi)
Relax your mind and strengthen your body with this gentle exercise class.
Digital Legacy at a Glance
Digital Legacy at a Glance
Will your digital content and social media pages live on forever? Come learn about your digital legacy options!
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Smartphones at a Glance
Smartphones at a Glance
How smart are they? We'll tell you all about smartphones.
Streaming & Smart TVs
Streaming & Smart TVs
This presentation will introduce streaming: what it is, how to use it, and the variety of content available.
IoT: Smart Homes
IoT: Smart Homes
Want to live like the Jetsons? Learn how smart home technology is making that a reality!
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Stronger Bones
Stronger Bones
Activate the joints and muscles and increase mental focus during this exercise class.
Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Smartphone Camera Uses Beyond Photography
Smartphone Camera Uses Beyond Photography
Come learn about QR codes, augmented reality apps, and more!
How to Choose a New Computer
How to Choose a New Computer
Registration required.
This informational session addresses some of the most common questions surrounding how to choose a new computer.
Chair Yoga
Chair Yoga
Follow various cues to develop body alignment and breath awareness.
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Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Virtual Tour: Lima, Peru
Virtual Tour: Lima, Peru
Join Senior Planet and our tour guides from Discover Live for a virtual visit to Lima, Peru!
Fit Fusion Workout
Fit Fusion Workout
Get your heart pumping during this fun, high-energy workout!
訊息應用程式
訊息應用程式
這次的講座會談到三款普遍的應用程式:iMessages、 Google Chat 和 微信 WeChat。您會學到如何傳送訊息、圖片、使用音訊和視訊通話, 以及瞭解這些應用程式如何確保您的訊息安全。
Introduction to Learning Apps – Languages & The Arts
Introduction to Learning Apps – Languages & The Arts
This presentation will introduce you to apps that help you learn different languages, explore the arts and art history, and even show you how to play instruments.
13 events,
30
Balance/Strength
Balance/Strength
Activate the joints and muscles to become limber and increase balance during this exercise class.
Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Digital Tools to Boost your Business
Digital Tools to Boost your Business
Learn about online tools to jump-start your start-up.
Chair Yoga
Chair Yoga
Follow various cues to develop body alignment and breath awareness.
Saving Money with Tech
Saving Money with Tech
Explore ways that tech can help you save money and manage your finances!
11 events,
31
Morning Stretch
Morning Stretch
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
¿Es eso IA?
¿Es eso IA?
¿Podemos realmente creer lo que vemos? ¡Venga a esta clase para acostumbrarse a reconocer la IA!
Gardening Tech At a Glance
Gardening Tech At a Glance
Can tech give you a green thumb? Come to this lecture to find out!
Taijiquan (Tai Chi)
Taijiquan (Tai Chi)
Relax your mind and strengthen your body with this gentle exercise class.
Understanding Bluetooth
Understanding Bluetooth
We’ll explain Bluetooth technology, how it works, and the way it impacts everyday life.
3 events,
1
Virtual Reality at a Glance
Virtual Reality at a Glance
Join us to learn about the exciting world of virtual reality and how you can experience it!
Intro to Gaming
Intro to Gaming
Game on! Come discover the world of gaming and start playing!
Virtual Museum Tours
Virtual Museum Tours
In this lecture we'll explore some of these virtual galleries, as well as digital tools that help bring art, architecture, and history to life!
Good Morning, Senior Planet!
Morning Stretch
Functional Strength Training
MyChart
Fit Fusion Workout
Stronger Bones
Morning Stretch
Introduction to Learning Apps – Languages & The Arts
Smartphones at a Glance
Chair Yoga
Morning Stretch
Virtual Tour: Belfast, Ireland
點對點付款
Fit Fusion Workout
YouTube
Balance/Strength
Morning Stretch
Internet of Things: Wearables
Saving Money with Tech
eBay & PayPal
Morning Stretch
Internet of Things: Healthcare
Introducción a la IA
Taijiquan (Tai Chi)
Introduction to Heart Rate Monitor Apps
Good Morning, Senior Planet!
Morning Stretch
Fitness Apps
Functional Strength Training
Fit Fusion Workout
Stronger Bones
Morning Stretch
Introduction to Heart Rate Monitor Apps
iPhones
AI Image Generators
Morning Stretch
Introduction to Estate Planning Resources & Tools
智能手機攝影簡介
Fit Fusion Workout
Anti-Virus & Malware Removal Programs At a Glance
Balance/Strength
Morning Stretch
Podcasts at a Glance
Introduction to Booking Vacation Stays Online
Streaming & Smart TVs
Morning Stretch
Introducción a chatear con IA
IoT: Smart Homes
Taijiquan (Tai Chi)
Tech Tips for Disaster Preparedness
Good Morning, Senior Planet!
Morning Stretch
Mindfulness Apps
Functional Strength Training
Fit Fusion Workout
Good Morning, Senior Planet!
Morning Stretch
Mindfulness Apps
Functional Strength Training
Fit Fusion Workout
Stronger Bones
Morning Stretch
Drones
Online Rx Drug Resources
Chair Yoga
Morning Stretch
Virtual Museum Tours
線上購物
Fit Fusion Workout
Intro to Smartphone Photography
Balance/Strength
Morning Stretch
Intro to Selling Online
Messaging Apps
Job Searching in the Digital Age
Morning Stretch
Usos cotidianos de la IA
Introduction to Nextdoor
Taijiquan (Tai Chi)
All Things Zoom
Podcasts at a Glance
YouTube
Internet of Things: Entertainment
Good Morning, Senior Planet!
Morning Stretch
Internet of Things at a Glance
Functional Strength Training
Fit Fusion Workout
Stronger Bones
Morning Stretch
Virtual Reality at a Glance
Internet of Things: Healthcare
Chair Yoga
Morning Stretch
Video Chat
YouTube
Fit Fusion Workout
Social Media for Job Searches
Balance/Strength
Morning Stretch
Introduction to TikTok
Graphic Design Tools
Chair Yoga
Morning Stretch
Generadores de imágenes de IA
Intro to Gaming
Taijiquan (Tai Chi)
Digital Legacy at a Glance
Smartphones at a Glance
Streaming & Smart TVs
IoT: Smart Homes
Stronger Bones
Morning Stretch
Smartphone Camera Uses Beyond Photography
How to Choose a New Computer
Chair Yoga
Morning Stretch
Virtual Tour: Lima, Peru
Fit Fusion Workout
訊息應用程式
Introduction to Learning Apps – Languages & The Arts
Balance/Strength
Morning Stretch
Digital Tools to Boost your Business
Chair Yoga
Saving Money with Tech
Morning Stretch
¿Es eso IA?
Gardening Tech At a Glance
Taijiquan (Tai Chi)
Understanding Bluetooth
Virtual Reality at a Glance
Intro to Gaming
Virtual Museum Tours
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